Day 21 Protecting Your Church
What am I personally doing to protect unity in my church famliy right now?

I kind of did not read this selection very well. I stopped every few paragraphs and proceeded after a few minutes or so. But evemtually I did understand it. I am at fault of forgetting my role in protecting my church. Not because I do anything bad towards it but because I simply neglected my responsibility in keeping it the way it is. It is very sad that for most of us who belong to a church, we forget our responsibility in protecting it. We seek refuge in the church yet we forget our roles in making sure that it remains our refuge. This is a call to really actively participate in the church.

Day 20 Restoring Broken Fellowship
Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?

It took a while for me to finally forgive my father. And when I finally did, it seems that it is easy to forgive everybody. When I finally have done it, I understood why God wanted us to forgive. It is basically a feeling of freedom when we are finally able to release our grudges on people. I did it, and now very few people offend me, and even if they do, it just takes a few moments and then I completely forget any of the offense. Maybe that is the gift of forgiveness, we become more peace loving and anger suddenly becomes a foreign word. I really do not know who I need to restore any relationship with today, I am sure I have offended people at some point, I will try to think about it, but one thing I am sure of bearing in mind the overflowing forgiveness God has accorded upon us, I will try my best to forgive people always, regardless of who's fault it is.

Day 19 Cultivating Community
How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and my church

I realize that by just sharing myself to others I cultivate the characteristics of a real community. I summarize that chapter by simply walking in faith to Jesus Christ and abiding by His word. At this time I really need a small group, I do not know if there is something that I am overlooking in this personal walk of mine, but I trust the Lord that he will provide me with the right group that will make me a better Christian. I came from a Bible study and I realized how wonderful it is if you can share your adventures with God to somebody who shares the same faith as you have. When I tell people about my adventures, I often have to present my story in such a way that they will understand what I am saying and that somehow a little concept of God is injected into their minds, I think that is healthy, but it feels really really good when you begin to share your life, raw and unadulterated to somebody who knows God as well.

Day 18 Experiencing life together
What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart-to-heart level?

I'm simply at a loss in this chapter. I do not know how to begin. Tommorrow, I will attend the weekly church activity for singles, I hope to start from there. I realized that the importance really of a fellowship is to have a tangible and real manifestation of God. There are times that in your Christian walk, you just have to trust God even if you sometimes do not understand, but then in most cases God has provided for us people that will make it easier for us to follow Him. I am convinced that our fellow believers are the manifestations of God and God uses His children as His ambassadors reminding us that He really exists. I have been very honest with people about how I feel about things, but it is only now that I realized how important it is to be honest with people that believe in the same God that I do. I hope I'll find my group soon.

Day 17 A Place to Belong
Does my level of involvement in my local church demonstrates that I love and am committed to God's family?

I haven't had a small group since January of last year. I tried finding one but I never really was able to join one. After reading this chapter I realized that it is really necessary to find my own small group. I realized that the small group can help me test whether or not I have fully understood my faith. It will give me insights on my spirituality and might help me learn more things. Of course, I get to meet other believers that will show me their own struggles. I decided right now to find my own small group, I thinnk it will be a group that will address my personal struggles. I have had a small group before compose of both male and female, so I decided to find an all male group this time. I think I will grow joining an all male group. I hope I can find one ASAP. Now going back to the question, God gave emphasis on bearing fruit. How can I bear fruit if I do not get involved with other believers? I feel that I can truly be a blessing to people if I fellowship with my other believers, it might actually help me resist temptation from non-believers that I interact with everyday. I also commit to take time to attend and be involved in church activities.

Day 16 What matters most
Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

I examined my priorities after reading this chapter. I realized that first my priority is pleasing God, next is my family and then the rest of the world. I do not have much problem with my priorities since I have learned to prioritize things the hard way, I think I will have problems reminding myself about my priorities. This week I decided on surrendering my admiration for my officemate. I could have decided otherwise if I was not reminded of my priorities. I know that love is really a divine word such that above all loving should first be given to God before anything else. I think the best way really is to make sure that I examine my motives before doing anything. If it is not the motive of God that I am following, something must be wrong. Until this very moment I still wonder how tommorrow would be meeting my officemate... but then I just have to believe that it is for the good.

Day 15 Formed for God's family
How do I start treating other believers like members of my own family?

I have been taught that the church does not assure us salvation only that it is a mechanism that strengthen our faith. I realized this at the time when I have no Christian friends. After being converted and going back here in Manila, I do not know how to begin practicing my faith so I went with my usual friends. Soon enough I completely forgot about my Chrisitianity. It took sometime before I began remembering and when the time came that my faith was rekindled, I went to church often. Usually I volunteer on Church sponsored activities. That is when I realized the importance of the Church. In that stage, I began to realize how much strengthened our faith becomes when we are surrounded by believers. I have to say that because of that experience, I am able to resist temptation such that even now that I go with my non-christian friends, I continue to remaind steadfast in my faith. I realized that temptations do not affect me as much as it was before. Finally, I also realized that when we have a Church to go to, we have this haven where we can recharge and somehow be more prepared to face the world as children of God. I am proud to say that somehow the Church has allowed me to be better in evangelizing my friends, its a bit hard to believe that being one person that I am, I actually impact my friends that they start to question their own faith. Therefore, the Church is our family, it is our haven that prepares and equips us to face the world fulfilling God's will. The believers that we meet become unconscious sources of strength. With that thought it becomes easier to accept fellow Christians as members of our family.

Day 14 When God seems distant
How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when He feels distant

When something bad happens, I make it a point to remember the basics of my faith. I do not know how it happened but I have always felt that the reason why the world is so chaotic is because people are forgetting some of the basic things in life. I observed that in most cases, when our lives have become more and more complicated, we simply forget the basic truths of our life and just completely conclude that its and entirle new ball game. I particularly observed this in two people who fall in love. When they encounter problems, they simply forget that first and foremost they are in love with each other, instead they forget all of it and all of a sudden they become irreconcilable when in the first place the most basic thing about their relationship should be the fact that they are in love. With our parents, we usually make so fuss about all the things that we have conflict with and we completely neglect the basic truth they love us and if they can do everything to make us happy they will. I believe this is also true in all other areas of our life. And so I go back to the original question, when God feels distant we must stand of the promises of God. I think that is why we have to know God better each day so that when the time comes that we will be tested we are sure of God's promises enough to stand by it even if we do not understand. The reason why this update is late is because I went our with my friends last night. I was supposed to meet my friend at 6 o'clock but I arrived around 6:20. When I found out that he wasn't there, I was afraid that maybe he has left me. But then again, that friend was a good friend in Dumaguete for a long time. I know that he might get angry if I arrive late, but I am sure that he will never leave me, and true enough after an hour of waiting he arrived. The point is, we have to know people so that we will be able to establish some of the basic things about them. In the same way that we must also know God better so that we can establish the basic truth about His existence. So when the time comes that we feel something is amiss, we will dwell on that basic truth and stand by it.

Day 13 Worship that pleases God
Which is more pleasing to God right now -- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

You know I love singing. In a regular day, I sing at least 10 songs a day at random at any time of the day. Usually, I just do it for fun, it is my form of relaxation and I derive so much pleasure from doing it. Sometimes when I claim that I am a Christian, I try my best to sing some Christian songs and let people hear it. I assume that I am doing it to prove to them that I am really a Christian. After reading this chapter, I realized that have been eating my words all this time. I always reasoned out that I do not need to conforme with the world because at the end of the day judgment will be between me and God. I realized how much I neglected this principle everytime I try to impress people by letting them hear me sing some Chrisitan songs. I mean there is really nothing wrong if you wanted to sing out loud some favorite Christian song that you know of, but the fact remains that your motives must be right. I have developed this practice that whenever I am afraid or nervous, I sing to myself Christian songs, songs that praise God, and then suddenly I become stronger. Maybe that is how it should be. I think worship is an expression of dependence to God, an expression that you surrender yourself to Him, and an expression of Love. I will try my best not to worship God just to impress people, who cares what they think, I will only make sure that in everything that I do, I will try my best to remember that I am doing it as an offering to God, I think that is what worship is all about.

Day 12 Developing your Friendship with God
What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

Friendship with God...... This is a new idea for me. Imagine your God is also your friend. But after reading the chapter I realized its significance and tried to assess my faith. I have thought of putting God a priority in everything and trusting Him that he knows best. I have done that with some people that I really trust why not on God. Sometimes I realized that there are things that I simply am not honest about God. I have not been in the habit of asking God for forgiveness. Last night I was surfing the net and just went to the website of my favorite pornstar. Her website does not really reflect her job only that the fact that she is a pornstar simply implies that she has no qualms displaying her body. I have to say that this pornstar is interesting as she is very intelligent only that she chose to be a pornstar. Anyway, I was enjoying reading her bulleting when I realized that I was already ogling at her pictures, some had her breasts exposed and others. Mind you, if there is one sin that I am really having trouble about that would be pornography. Anyway, I just realized that God knows that I am struggling with this sin, but I just did not ask Him to forgive me. I think one practical choice that I have to make is to simply tell God that I am struggling with sin and ask Him to forgive me. From this day on, I will make it a habit to tell God my sins and ask for forgiveness.

Day 11 Becoming Best Friends with God
What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to Him more often throughout the day?

I actually realized that I am not crazy when on times that I am by myself I talk to God. I was relieved to know that what I was doing was normal. For the past months, I do not have a regular prayer schedule. I just do my thing and in the middle of something I talk to God. I really can not explain what triggered this habit but when I started doing it I just enjoyed it. Usually, when I walk from the office towards Edsa I just talk as if I have somebody with me. I realized that now even with my expression I say things like, Thank You Lord, Ang bait talaga ni Lord and other side comments that instantly come out of my mouth. After reading this chapter I want to continue doing it and maybe incorporate reading a text in the Bible and try to meditate about it during the day. You should try it, it is very enjoyable and there is this feeling of lightness derived from it. I even noticed that I am not capable of being angry at people. Well, I hope that God reveals himself to me more and more each day

Day 10 The Heart of Worship
What area of my life am I holding back from God?

There are things in my life that I think are alright. I wondered are these the things that I hold back from God since these are the things that kind of do not matter that much. When I was discharged from PMA, I surrendered my PMA dream to God and after several lessons He taught, He's now sending me back. When I hated my father, I surrendered my hatred to Him and after several lessons again, He taught me the value of family and the roles of parents in our lives. In those three things, I think I am fully convinced that it wouldn't have been possible if I did not surrender it to God. Now, as I begin to think about the chapter I just read, I realize that there is no such thing as partial surrendering its either you do it or you don't. I am reminded by the chapter that we do not only call on God on things that we are having a hard time at but also on things that we are good at. Even on things that seems not to matter, God pays attention to every detail of it. If we do not surrende even this little things, how will we be able to surrender the bigger things? I pray that as I go on walking in faith, I will always remember what God has done in me, I think that it is the only way that will remind me to surrender even the things that do not matter that much.

Day 9 What makes God smile?
Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?

The story of Noah maybe one of the most favorite stories in the Bible, I personally liked it, but then I never really understood the significance of it. Although I have already read it somewhere that before the rain in the Great Flood nobody knew anything about rain, it was never something so great. But then Noah was perhaps the only person in the Bible who completely trusted the Lord for the duration of his life. Now, I have a better idea of what it really meant to trust God with everything. Then I was thinking, what area in my life do I need to trust God the most? It was a stirring question that I kind of had an idea when I started to think about my life especially with the my recent passing to the Philippine Military Academy Entrance Exam. I would like to explain this thought further in this journal but then I am writing another article for the Bukayo Diaries about this topic so let me just direct you to that article.

Day 8 Planned for God's pleasure
What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?

This Chapter encourages me to start thinking about how I do things and offer it all to Jesus. I realized that a purpose driven life is actually a life of worship to God. Not the usual worship that we do at church before the Pastor's message, but the worship in real sense of the word. I now define worship as an act that gives honor and glory to the God in the heavens above. If you would think of the definition you can actually do everything as an act of worship. But the challenge really is; IS IT WORTHY TO BE OFFERED TO GOD? That becomes the critical question, meaning if we want to make worship a lifestyle, then we must do everything in such a way that it is worthy to be an offering to God. You see, I suddenly realized that God created us primarily to worship Him. It wasn't necessary for Him to create us, nor is it necessary for him to Love us, mind you God had a choice, but He made a decision that will benefit us. And you know what, by having a lifestyle of worship, you get to enjoy some of the bonuses that He gives to His children. I do not know what else to think but God really is great. It is enlightening to remember that life here on earth is not something that was required but God made it happen because of the abundance of His grace. I can not add some more, the bottom line is we give the best in everything that we do so that it will be worthy for offering to God.

Day 7 The reason for everything
Where in my daily routine can I become aware of God's Glory?

When I was a new Christian, I had this wonderful feeling. I was so high in the Spirit and really felt that I will go stronger each day. Later I realized that it wasn't like that, oftentimes we would be in situations where it was easier to forget about being a Christian and just do what you want to do. Eventually, it came to a point that I forgot all the Christianity that I had, but then God never took an eye of me, He kept on sending people from all walks of life reminding me of His goodness. Eventually, I came back and then I assessed my faith. The realization came after a long time of soul searching, I realized that Christianity is not just a concept or a though, its actually a way of life. It is a conscious effort to follow Christ. I realized that sometimes we have to change our lives in order to accomodate Christ so I made a vow to myself that I will always remind myself with God. It is a hard choice but then I realized that in everything that we do it should be about Christ because only through it we can be called His children. You know what, later on I realized that it was only hard at first but when you constantly do it, it becomes second nature. It becomes the way we really are and suddenly it becomes so easy........

Day 6 Life is a temporary assignment
How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way that I am living right now?

I like the analogy of this chapter about an ambassador who was stationed in an enemy territory. Throughout their stay in that foreign land they work for the interest of their mother country, they will see to it that their service will be exemplary such that the leaders of their mother country will be pleased with what they did. I think that is a clear cut illustration of how Christians should see their lives, somebody who promotes the interest of their Father at all cost, hoping in cheerful anticipation that there is a tremendous reward waiting for them when they finally go home. I have come to realize how this concept will alter our lifestyle. It does not only makes things easier to become a Christian but also, it becomes more noble, life suddenly becomes meaningful. For my part, I do have problems with being influenced with this world. I love to buy so many things, sometimes I go to malls and think about what I want to buy when I have the money. Sometimes, I even entertain thoughts of stealing when I like something so bad, but then we are in an assignment. In an assignment it is not our goal to enjoy it because we are basically on duty, we are here to promote the interest of our God and that is to stand by His word, obey it and worship him. What is more interesting is that even if we are in assignment, God provides us with provisions that are more than enough, sometimes we do not realize this but really God has blessed us abundantly in this assignment. Not only that, when we are doing His assignment we are assured of winning. Unlike the ambassadors of this world we are sure to win. This is really fun and so enriching, I can't wait to do my assignment

Day 5 Seeing Life from God's view
What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?

I have a lot to say about tests. In all modesty, I think I have some of the most plenty of tests given from God. I love my mother dearly and for a time I hated my father. I thought then that if only I could prove something to the world by being somebody, I'm hitting two things at the same time. I'll be able to repay my mother for her gracious love and I will be able to prove my father wrong when he left us. One of my greatest dream then is to go to PMA, the prestigious Philippine Military Academy. It was something that I carefully planned from the moment I layed my eyes on my older brother wearing his cadet uniform. I was excited when I reported to PMA on 01 April 2000 and said to myself I will do everything I can to make it through graduation. At that point, I could say that I had a bright future ahead of me. I no longer need money for College Tuition and I am assured of a good paying jo right after graduation, plus the fact that I am living my dream. It was perfect, little did I know that God had other plans. On my second week in PMA, my mother died, God took away the one person that I was dedicating everything that I have done so far and then 6 months after, I was discharged. I cursed God right there and then. I felt that he was taking away everything that I wanted in life. But you never know what happened next. When I ran away from home after being discharged, God found me. Without money or sustenance, I had to go to friends for support. To put it simply these friends were Christians and they were one of the most inspiring young Christians I have ever met. In the two months that I was away, I changed from cursing God to handling Bible studies in Small groups. One would never believe how it happened but it just did. When I was finally convicted to go home, I can never realize how God's people find me everytime I started to backslide. First a pastor neighbor that I barely knew, then a Christian officemate who brought me to church, up to now I still attend that church, that plus so many other people that helped me understand and polish my concept of God. In the four years that I went out of PMA, I have had the most spiritually enlightening experience in my life. I understood that the reason God had to take away my mother was because it was the only way I will make an effort to forgive my father. Right now, I could say that I have a bright future in further nurturing my relationship with my father. God had to take me out of PMA because if I remained there I won't be improving my character. I will simply be contented with the way I was. I never have to change some more, I was already in a situation that everything I aspired for was in my reach. But the most important lesson of it all is really being able to find God, being dependent in him and believing with all your heart that he loves you so much enough to want to constantly be with Him.

Day 4 Made to Last Forever
Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and one thing I should start doing today?

I started thinking......
Joy said that what I was doing was noble. The reason why I made a journal of my PDL online is that I will be forced to read it everyday to keep my journal updated and since I do not have a partner nobody will check if I really read it, thus this journal. Anyway, I started contemplating what Joy was telling me. I mean why would I spend my time reading some book and trying my best to read one chapter everyday. There is no grade to it, nothing will happen to me if I won't. But I realized it sums up the whole point of this chapter. Since I know that I am made to last forever, I will do things that will make me last forever, and forever only is from God. The point is if we are sure of our faith in God, we will understand that there is more to living in this world. Sometimes we have to make arrangements in our life such that God has a place in it.. The only way that we can prepare ourselves is aspire for God's holiness, that is what I will do...... that sounds boring........... WRONG....... so far I'm enjoying it and I'm happier.........

Day 3 Thinking about My Purpose
What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want to be?

Upon reading this chapter I suddenly started to think about my life. For a time my motivation was my hatred to my father. I wanted to prove that he was wrong when he left us for another family, I wanted him to feel sorry for what he did. Maybe I hated our situation that much and I blamed everything to him. I loved my mother so much but she can not be with us because she has to support us while my father was somewhere I do not know. Later on, it wore me out. With every failure, I was more ashamed of myself because I can not prove my father wrong. With everything that I do, there was this sense of hatred and revenge. I do not know how it came about but in the so many times I cried because of my situation I blamed it all to my father.

Last saturday, I was with my classmates and they asked me, why is it that I keep on repeating things about my father in this website. I said that it was because forgiving my father is perhaps one of the biggest achievement I have in my life. I can not think of anything else greater than what I did, it was simply an act of faith when I was convicted that hatred is not being Christian. You know what, I realized things because of that experience. If I kept on hating my father, what kind of father will I be when I become one? What kind of family I will be raising if I never had the opportunity to even be civil with my father. Eventually it dawned into me. God made me went through all that because I will become a good father. I will become a good husband, with God as my witness I know I will be good at it. You know what, suddenly I became the most reliable person to talk to regarding parent and child relationship, I may not have the perfect family to boast of, but hey my family is exciting, I bet if I tell you my story you'll want to cry.

When God found me, every pain and suffering does not matter anymore. I am aware of the wisdom of God when he allowed everything that happened to me happened, funny as it may seem but now, I am a better person and I will continue to trust God that he will see me through everything

Day 2 You are not an Accident
Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept

This one is a bit hard to contemplate on. But then I have confronted this issue a long time ago. The usual question people ask me is that if God was really there he should have not allowed all the bad things that happened to happen. At a certain point of view, that maybe a valid reason, one would think that he or she might be an accident because everything just seems not to work for him or her. But then, one must realize that if we simply dwell on this problems then we don't see the things around it. Of course, no matter how you look at it a problem will always be a problem, but if you just take a look around the problem and see what happened around it when that problem came, I will bet my life that you will be amazed. Before, I hated coming from a broken family, having a father like the one I have, in fact there was a time I cursed God. But then when all else fails, there was God still making sure that I will make it through everything and to top that I come out a better person. I am proud to say that I feel good about myself. I like the way I am and I know if I didn't have the life that I have I wouldn't be what I am right now. I am a masterpiece of God, I am here for a purpose, I still do not know it but I know it is something worth doing.

Day 1 Thinking About My Purpose
In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?

I suddenly felt the urge to start reading the book. I was putting it on hold for several books as I was looking for a partner to do it with but I can't find one.... but who says I can't do it myself. With this website as my witness I will start my journey to my purpose driven life.

It was a simple logic, how on else would somebody know his purpose unless he asks it from his Creator. Honestly, I do not know what God's purpose is with me. I have been living my life just trying to be the best that I can be without really being conscious of my part in God's grand plan. So I thought of the question, I think I can remind myself that my living is for God by simply acknowledging that he is God. I simply can't find any other way to do so. I have to reaffirm my commitment to God and realize that there is no life without God. From this day on I promise that I will not do anything unless I am really sure that God will get something out of it. If God won't be benefited by doing it then I won't do it