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Good day people.
I am temporarily saying goodbye to this website. I will be reporting
back to PMA 31 March 2004. Finally, after three years, I will be going
back to the land of my dreams.... The Philippine Military Academy. I
have posted my last entry in the Bukayo Diaries so you can just read it
from there. I would like to thank all those who viewed this website and
I am hoping that in some way I was able to show you to see the world we
are living in a better way. My e-mail address will still be active so
you can just e-mail me at [email protected].
Again I say that the value of life is not with the so many bad things
that happened but the way we are able to become better individuals
despite of these things, that is the great adventure we call life.
Again thank you very much for the e-mails and the prayers. The is Alex
Cabales..... now signing off........
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I am pleased to announce that this website is one of the top three for
the Most Informative Website. I am happy with the way it has fared as
it was never my intention to join any contest. Nevertheless, I thank
you for those who frequently visit this website especially those that
send me e-mails. And of course, to the God Almighty who inspires me to
write in this website. Visit http://www.philippineblogawards.com
for the full results.
Many interesting things
happened with me since the last update so I wanted to write something
that will summarize all that. Please be patient with me........ Anyway
MERRY CHRISTMAS, I hope you have wrapped your gifts for me
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From Matrix Revolution
"Love is just a
word, what is important is the connection it implies"
Ganda!!!!
Yes I already saw the movie. I am to write something about it later.
Anyway just read on my new update at the diaries
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This is funny. I read
this somewhere in the Internet.
To get your porn name you should use the name of your first pet plus
the name of the street where you grew up.... for me it is Ranger Ricarte (naks!!!! hehehe)
(acknowledgement goes to Ian Casocots
blog)
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I never thought that
somebody who I really thought highly of will talk me out of something
that I strongly believe in. I really have to say that I have been in a
lot of so-called “queries” regarding my decision to simply surrender my
admiration for my officemate to God. Again I must say, that I am trying
my very best to overcome my struggle on this area. I have to say that I
really think that the girl is perfect; I think that she is the most
wonderful creature I have seen. I am crazy over this girl and I
perfectly understand why people talk me out of what I intend to do, but
then it is no longer about me. The moment I surrendered it to God, it
is no longer an issue on what I feel, it is a matter of what is God’s
will for me on this area of my life. You see, the hardest part for
anybody is to surrender control over some of the things that we really
want in life. By surrendering this control, we begin to simply believe
on something that we do not know. That is what faith is all about,
believing in something that we do not know. If we can just have control
in everything in our life, I bet we will all have the best. But then
the reality of life is really the fact that it is full of uncertainty.
We can have the most elaborate plan on what we do and yet we still have
no assurance that everything will be in order. That is why the words
such as contingency and alternative came into existence. But then again
it is precisely because of these uncertainties that we begin to trust
God in everything. We begin to believe that even amidst all
uncertainty; all this things will work for the good of those who have
faith in the Lord.
I am very sure that the
Lord is very pleased with what I am doing. But really, I feel all the
discomfort there is seeing this wonderful creature everyday in the
office. At some point during the day, I just stare at her, sometimes
she notices and gives me a limp smile that just sweeps my feet away, In
the many occasions that we have had little chit chats, I could feel my
heart trembling in joy as if I am ready to die any moment. Any moment
to be with her simply becomes a lasting memory that I hope will become
forever. But again, I become uncomfortable, I suddenly question my
faith, and after that I pray hard. I pray very hard that God’s will be
done on me. I pray very hard that I will master enough courage to stand
by what God has commanded and I pray very hard that somebody or
something happens that will lead this girl to Christ. And then I feel
better. I go on with my daily routine and every time I see this lady, I
thank God that I am able to see her. Yes, my life in the office becomes
one roller coaster ride with all the dilemma then the praying then the
amazement and then back again. One thing I realized though, everytime I
see this lady, I begin to associate her with God. You see, each day for
me has become a lesson. To fully understand what I am doing right now,
you must undergo the same experience that I have been through. One must
realize that life is not really about what we want but about what God
wants, God is not denying me of the opportunity to be with this girl,
He is teaching me patience. He is teaching me to wait on Him because He
will show me how powerful He is. I pray that instead of people
questioning my decision, I simply would request that they pray for me
to be strong enough so that I will be able to pass through this test
from God. I am recognizing that I am being tested on this so please
whoever it is that will be kind enough to devote a little prayer for me
in this matter, please pray that I will have the patience and strength
to understand that this is all part of God’s plan for me……. As for me I
will continue to serve the Lord………
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I was checking the
website’s traffic when I found out that there are two startling
visitors. One hit was from Slovak Republic and another is from Romania.
I have no idea who viewed my website from these countries. I was just
happy that there were two hits coming from two countries that I barely
knew. Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy my update
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I am giving up my
admiration to my officemate. After a series of soul searching, I am
ruling out the possibility of doing anything with my admiration for her
unless she becomes a Christian. I have to admit that I am not
comfortable in making this decision but I’m just surrendering something
(someone, actually) that I really desire in favor of being obedient,
trusting God that He knows best. I’ll just continue to pray that God
will send somebody to minister to her.
This decision came after
going to church. Last night I was chatting with some friends and I told
them that the dilemma really is not on whether or not I have a chance,
or even in fear of rejection. The dilemma really is on the fact that I
will break the rule on “equally yoking” with an unbeliever. One friend
said that maybe it was destiny that God allowed us to meet so that I’ll
bring her to Christ. The reason sounds believable but after a serious
thought I was unconvinced. I simply know that once I make my move to be
closer to her, I’ll fall into the trap. I may minister to her but then
my motives are not good. The reason why a Christian ministers is only
because it is an expression of love towards God. Other than that it is
sin. I can tell myself that I am really bringing her to Christ but then
again, I know that behind all of it is my own vested interest to be
closer to this girl. During worship earlier, I was convicted to simply
give it up. There was this cancer survivor who was delivering her
testimony and suddenly it occurred to me that this person is willing to
give up her life believing that God knows best. Here I am trying to
justify my actions to God, simply because I refuse to give up my
admiration for this wonderful lady. After serious thought, no matter
how I try to justify it, what I intend to do is plain disobedience.
Above that, I realized the implications of this one disobedience that I
was hoping to commit. I felt that it is possible that I might stray
away from my faith and even if we did end up being happy together, the
devil will always have a foothold on me because of this one
disobedience. You see, I just realized that if I can not obey God on
this thing it is as if I am saying that I do not trust Him that He will
send me the perfect person that God has set apart for me. I may feel
bad seeing this wonderful person everyday in the office, being helpless
while entranced with her beauty, but then again, it is an act of faith
I am doing, I will simply hope that in due time I will understand God’s
purposes for me. I lay to rest this issue on my life, may God bless me
for this
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I hated going to work
yesterday. All other offices were either having half day work or no
work at all. For us we had to go for the whole day. We had no choice,
it was slary day so not going to work would simply mean additional days
of no money. That morning, I was relieved that the salary was not given
a day earlier, I could have attended Octoberfest the night before and
maybe I could have been hurt in the violence that erputed in that
event. Anyway, I was relieved because on lunch break of that day, I saw
a good friend from Dumaguete, and that gave way for me to join them in
Star City that night. It was an enjoyable night, aside from my episode
just after riding the Octopus and Viking, it was generally fun. Its
funny because it was basically the same crowd in Dumaguete. It was the
attack of the "Bisaya" Silimanians that did not give a damn on the
Tagalog-speaking populace overhearing our Cebuano Dialect I enjoyed it
a lot and have at least made a connection to one place that I consider
home, Dumaguete City.
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Attraction can be
deceiving. When you are attracted to somebody and it seems that she
doesn’t mind, you would think that your world suddenly becomes brighter
and you are overwhelmed by little attentions that you get. When the
person you admire looks at you in the eye and then gives you the most
wonderful smile, you would think that you can die right at that very
moment. By the time that moment is finished, your mind is transported
into some wonderland and then you start to think about so many out of
this world imaginings, all of which have, in some way or another, a
relation to the focus of your admiration. And then you start to feel
this strong urge to give way to your feelings and just try to answer
that fatal question, Am I in love?
That is how I described
what happened a while ago. An abrupt surge of emotions felt in one very
brief moment, a look in the eye and a wonderful smile. Yes, my insanity
is starting to get over my head. I have felt something that was
exhilarating, unbearable and definitely wonderful. Nothing can really
compare when at the time you least expected, at the time when it was
not in your priority list you wonder if what you are feeling is really
love. I have come to the point when it is my turn to question the very
mechanics of my personality. All of that triggered by one gorgeous
creature, one superb human being that took my heart away. Many people
are waiting for this very moment, the time when the so-called love guru
will finally put himself in the hot seat. But before anything else let
us begin with my doctrine of falling in love. You would think I won’t
put serious thought about this, but I did, as in I really did. But then
as they say, you won’t actually know if it’s the real thing unless you
touch it. Well, Can I touch it?
That is the question now
in my mind. How will I know if I won’t? You see being the person that I
am; I have waited and waited to feel this thing again so when I finally
thought I found it, I again wonder if I really found it. I know it’s
just my fear of rejection but then again, if I won’t try I will never
know……….well, let’s see ?
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How do you show people
that you care? I was pondering on this question just as I was settling
comfortably on my chair. This question came about after realizing that
I might actually have a go on my crush. I’m still not sure; all I know
is that I want to show her that I care. There is nothing wrong with
that, in my journey towards finding true love I think showing people
that I care will help me a lot. Also, there is really nothing wrong
with caring for people, I personally think it’s a healthy practice and
it is a good way of sharing yourself to others…… we’ll see
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The office was fun today.
I had the chance to dig deeper into the personalities of some of the
people that I work with. I am extremely grateful with this group of
people, they teach me that variety is fun. Anyhow, I have made some
stirring discoveries, I am supposed to share these discoveries here but
due to that recent discovery, my plans might be compromised once I
reveal it early on. I'll tell you what, I promise to do a recap of that
discovery once it is already safe to divulge such "sensitive"
information. Ang galing mo talaga Lord...... hehehe
Just read today's update
you might get a clue :)
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It’s official…. I passed
the PMA entrance exam again. The moment people started congratulating
me, my heartbeat became faster, I simply can not control myself, this
maybe my belated Birthday gift……… ang bait talaga ni Lord…….
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What’s with women and pointed shoes? Yesterday, as I was doing my usual
walk from the office to EDSA to save time and four pesos, I entertained
a thought that I had for quite a long time now. I decided to count how
many women were wearing the dreaded pointed shoes. You know the one
that needs a little curl and suddenly you’ll be confused if it is a
fashion statement or the latest replica of the generation ex dwarf
shoes. I was amazed because by the time I reached EDSA I have counted a
little over 30 women wearing it. Several years ago, when I still had a
special someone, we were going through a shoe store when she said that
the pointed shoes being displayed were beautiful. I did not react, I
simply do not agree to her idea, but because of the fact that I did not
want to offend her I simply did not make a word. She further said that
it creates an illusion of a longer foot. Why in the world would women
want to have longer feet? I simply do not know the answer to that
question but that kept me thinking. In China, there is an ancient
tradition of foot binding where the women will bind their feet so that
it won’t grow bigger; they say that they become more attractive when
they have little feet, again I was dumbfounded.
So as I was on board the jeepney going home, I started to analyze the
logic behind the size of the feet. Personally, do not like how my feet
looks like. I simply can not wear normal shoes simply because I have
what they call “malapad” feet. With women, I do not know if it has
something to do with vanity, maybe suddenly the fashion world handed
out a decree that longer foot is hip. That explains why I saw a handful
of ladies wearing the long-feet-effect shoes in the short distance
between VA Rufino Street and Epifanio delos Santos Avenue……… well I
rest my case as I would put it…… walang pakialamanan…… I’ll try to
analyze some more and maybe I’ll write my “findings” here.
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I kind of like it today.
I was already having little chats with my crush...hmmmph..... I
discarded a previous crush and my crush meter for my officemate has
somewhat increased a notch, well its nothing really serious, just the
few "kilig" moments when you get to talk and do a little
interaction..... hehehe let's see what happens
Yesterday, I registered
myself as a voter in the next elections. It was "madugo" typically
Filipino, as if I was applying for an American VISA or was enrolling
for the first time. I did not enjoy it but then again I wanted to vote
and besides I really feel that I can not complain on the government if
I don't join the electoral process...naks......
Anyway, here is today's
update........
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