I could have been more bored by The Art of War, but only if the movie were even LONGER. It clocked in at close to 2 hours, and seemed it. In addition to being privileged to suffer the obligatory "we're stuck in the same lousy situation, so let's be attracted by and repulsed by each other" scenes lasting an eternity (between the spy, played by Wesley Snipes, and the beautiful U.N. translator who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, played by Marie Matiko), the audience also got to see a pretty decent chase scene repeated two more times! The first (though partial) repetition happened a mere few moments after the chase was over, thanks to the "my God, my buddy was killed" mental echo effect. You know the effect. Don't mock me by pretending you don't know what I'm talking about. The second time around, almost the entire chase repeated. Unreal. Uneffective. Unexciting.
It seemed like Michael Biehn (Hicks in Aliens) and Anne Archer (Patriot Games) just couldn't shake off whatever reason they had for not wanting to be in the film. I have never seen them so stiff or uninspired. Their characters offered no surprises, which was especially disappointing, given the title. Sun Tzu's text, The Art of War, clearly illustrates how to use an opponent's strengths, weaknesses and enemies against him. Unfortunately, the makers of the film seemed to have neglected the lessons of Master Tzu in both the direction and writing of this work.
In fact, I believe that was the missing element. The book itself. Aside from a terrible soliloquy from Biehn extremely late in the film, one would have trouble realizing what the title had to do with anything, especially with the heavy dosings of martial arts and Chinese/U.S. relations on the plot.
I wanted and expected so much more. Unfortunately, the only "more" I got was the mo' money I paid at the box office. 9 bucks in Los Angeles, folks. Oy vey.
CSO Sometime during August, 2000
