Heart pumping with fear for one of her best friends, Buffy ran with all her might through Restfield Cemetery. As soon as she had heard about Xander, she had dropped her cappuccino, and ran. Now she was cursing herself for not recognising Xander's pain earlier. Tears running down her face, she knew she would never make it in time. She could only hope to whatever God was listening that Angel would. Then a realisation struck her like a blot from above. Angel had never been invited to Xander's apartment. Calling up on reserve energy, she jumped a bench and ran as fast as she could.

***

Turning as fast as he could, Angel steered his car around the street to which, according to the directions he had received, would lead to Xander's apartment. Not bothering to park, the vampire leaped out of the car, and rushed towards the apartment building. Opening the door, he headed for Xander's door. Kicking the door, it opened inwards. He smelled the blood before he saw it. He couldn't see where the blood was coming from, just the general direction, and he couldn't see Xander. Trying his luck Angel tried to enter the apartment, but to no avail. He was held back by the invisible force field that stopped an uninvited vampire from entering someone's home.

A sudden feeling crept through him, and shuddered in disbelief. One of his Children were nearby. Very near, if he remembered the whistling coming from further down the hallway. Spike used to sing the tune to Drusilla whenever she was upset, or the stars stopped talking to her.

***

Stopping in fear as he smelt the blood coming from Xander's apartment, Spike chose to ignore the face that his ensouled Sire was once again in Sunnydale. Spike ran towards the door, rushing past Angel.

"Spike! Can you get in?" Angel asked frantically.

"Of course I bloody well can. What the hell happened?" Panic spread its way over the younger vampire's face. Spike pushed Angel out of the way, and ran into the apartment.

"I don't know the details. Cordelia had a vision about this, so I rushed over here. Buffy's on her way. What do you see?" Angel shouted to Spike.

"He slit his wrists. He's lost a lot of blood. It dosen't look good, Angel. Did Slutty phone for the paramedics?" Spike's voice was breaking with emotion, which made Angel suspicious. Had he and Xander been having an affair? He heard about Anya, and figured that was the reason for all of this, but had Spike pushed him into it? Was Xander in an abusive relationship with Spike?

"I phoned for them on my way here. How's it going?"

"I'm trying to keep him for bleeding. I wrapped bandages from the first aid cabinet around the wounds. That's good, right? That'll help him?" Angel couldn't hear or see Spike, but he knew the blond was on the verge of tears. Looking into the parts of the apartment he could see from his point of view, Angel saw an ashtray filled to overflowing.

"Spike? Do you live here?" Angel queried.

"Of course I bloody do. Why else would I be here?" Spike answered his Sire as if it was the stupidest question that could be asked.

"You can invite me in, then."

"Oh, right. Sorry. Come in."

Angel rushed into the apartment, and saw Xander. Pale faced, he was unconscious. Blood was stilling finding its way out of the wounds on his wrists despite the bandages wrapped around them. Just as he began to kneel beside the brunette, someone came running through the door.

"Oh God, Xander."

Buffy ran to Xander, and covered her face, weeping into her hands.

"Buffy! Are the paramedics coming?" Angel stood next to his ex, offering comfort.

"Yeah, they were behind me." As if listening for their cue, the paramedics rushed through the door, and pushed their way past Buffy, Angel and Spike.

Keeping his attention on Xander, the male paramedic asked for the patient's name.

"Xander." Came the answer three times.

"Xander? Can you hear me, Xander?" The male paramedic shook his head, and gave a knowing look to his female partner. Jolting himself into action, he shouted for the two males and blond chick behind him to move the hell out of the way. Damned if he was going to lose another one today.

***

Buffy was waiting for Angel and Spike at the hospital, having gotten there in the ambulance. Tears had stained her cheeks, and Angel moved to wipe them away. Buffy allowed him. Spike could do nothing but shove Angel out of the way and demand to know what was happening with Xander.

"The doctor came out just before you got here. They say he's lost a lot of blood, but he should get out of this without any permanent damage. But they can't be sure. They also said they found something wrong while checking his blood. They don't know exactly what yet. They need to do more tests." Buffy sighed inwardly, brushing her hand through her hair. "I phoned the gang too. They'll be here soon."

"What the hell do you mean? Something wrong with his blood?" Spike was yelling, and shaking the Slayer, backing off when the chip sent a reminder through his body.

"I don't know. That's all the doctor told me. Something about a low T cell count. I haven't got the faintest idea what that means. Do you?" Buffy asked, the stress starting to show. She sighed at their short murmurs, telling her they didn't know what a lot T cell count meant either. Suddenly, Buffy jumped. "Willow! She'd know, right? I mean, if the doc hasn't come back by then, we could ask her, right?"

"Buffy." Angel laid a hand on the Slayer's shoulder. "Is that really something you want to lay on your best friend? Xander's best friend?"

"No. I don't. But she's going to have to know that they're doing tests. As well as trying to stop Xander from. from.." Buffy's knees turned to jelly, and would have fallen to the floor if Angel hadn't caught her. Crying with renewed force at the thought of her friend dying, the friend who had bought her back from the dead when the Master had drowned her, she sat. And waited.

***

Half hour later

Running into the waiting room, Willow, Dawn, Tara and Giles ran over to Buffy, Angel and Spike.

"What happened?" Willow demanded from her best friend.

"Will, sit down."

"Buffy! Just tell me." Willow snapped.

Tears re-emerging, Buffy managed to tell Willow. "He tried to kill himself, Will. Spike left the apartment, and he slit his wrists."

Visibly shocked, Willow spoke. "But he's going to be alright?" Tears muffling her voice, she tried to shout, " Tell me he's going to be alright."

"Will. There's something else. We," She gestured to herself, Angel and Spike, "-don't know what it means. And we haven't been able to get an answer from the doctor."

"Tell me." Was all Willow could manage to croak.

"Ok. When the doctor came out to tell us how he was, he also said Xander had a lot T cell count. They're doing tests now."

Willow's hand snapped over her mouth, in a vain attempt to stop the tragic screaming. "Oh, God. No, this can't be happening."

Speaking for the first time, Spike walked to Willow.

"Red? Tell me what it means. I need to know."

Tara stood by Willow, and pulled her into a hug. The red head was grateful, but now wasn't the time. Pulling out of the hug, she couldn't look at her friends through the tears, so she kept her head down.

"Xander is HIV positive."

*****
tbc