Interlude: Return of the Vampire

//"So, you're back," I said uncomfortably, gazing at my shoes. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Looks like it," Angel answered back, his voice, as always, neutral.

"How?"

"It's a miracle, Lex. Isn't it wonderful?" Liz answered, hanging on Angel's arm.

"Yeah, just as wonderful as you hiding the fact that he's been back for three months. Thanks for the trust."

Liz glared at me. "You're lucky I let you hang around. You keep getting caught or beaten up by vampires and demons. I always have to save you. You lied to me about Ali trying to do the spell on Angel. You betrayed me, Lex, and still I let you stay."

I look up at her, stung. "Yea, I'm real lucky." I left.

I knew what she said was true, but... She's supposed to be my friend. I try my best to help her and obviously she doesn't give a damn about me.

And still I wait around for her to notice me, love me, save me. Still I wait.//

Present Day

"So, I found the book this LaVelle mentioned in the stories and managed to translate it," Cordelia was saying.

Angel was engrossed in the magazine and didn't look up. "Angel? Angel!"

"What?" the vampire asked vaguely, still reading.

The exasperated seer sighed. "Angel, I know that the stories are totally engrossing, but will you pay attention to what I'm saying for one second? Please?"

"Sorry, Cordelia. Go on; you have my full attention." He put the magazine on his desk and looked at the young woman expectantly.

"I found the book that talks about the curse and LaVelle was right. According to the translation, the happiness clause only works on the anniversary of the curse and not any time. Which means you can now have sex with someone who makes you truly happy instead of someone like Wesley, just as long as it's not that night."

"Thank you, Cordelia. My ego needed that remark," Wesley called from the kitchen. Carrying a cup of tea and a glass of blood, he entered the room again. He handed the glass to Angel.

Graham spoke up from his position at the coffee bar. "Last night Oz and I talked about it and he told me basically the same thing. He also said that he picked up that the Powers would rather you keep your soul; they feel you are a valuable ally, indicating that they may have made that part of the curse null and void no matter what the date is," he finished, stirring sugar into his mug.

"They decided that now? Why couldn't they have decided that five years ago when he went all dark and evil on us? It would have saved me major headaches," Cordelia remarked.

Angel and Wesley exchanged glances, remembering what Angel had done after he fired his companions over Darla. A three week rampage of drugs, sex, anddraining humans almost to death while Cordelia was assaulted by visions of each and every thing he did.

She occasionally still made him pay for the pain he caused her.

The young woman saw the pain on Angel's face. "Oh. I'm guess I shouldn't have brought that up right now. So, Graham how is Oz, anyway? I haven't seen him for a few weeks." Cordelia questioned, trying to change the subject.

The former Marine, who had been looking at Angel, pulled his gaze away, allowing the vampire to deal with his demons for the moment in peace.

"Oz is good. He's been busy, which is why he's not home much. There's been a rise in people consulting Oracles all over the world. He's been helping cover all over the place."

"Was he able to leave the chamber, or did the two of you spend the night on the cold, hard floor of eternity again?" Cordelia teased.

"No, we came here. He just popped off early this morning. It's strange having a lover who literally disappears on you."

"Have you noticed the rise in demonic activity lately?" questioned Wesley. "And I don't just mean here, if Oz is so busy over the world."

"I've noticed that I've been getting more visions than usual. Twice last week I got one when I was with kids; scared them half to death. At least my team of fighting men are still knocking them down."

"Except for me. Every time I go out, I get sick complete with painful headaches."

"It's all right, Wesley," Graham told him. "We're not thinking evil thoughts here or anything."

Wesley's blue eyes were earnest. "It's not only that I am, once again, feeling inadequate, this time due my impaired fighting abilities and Cordelia's new found language skills, but I don't feel well either. Half the time my headaches hurt so badly that afterwards I can hardly move."

"When are you seeing the doctor?" Cordelia asked, placing her hand over Wesley's. "Next week."

"Well, just as long as they don't give me impossible tests anymore, I'll be fine," Angel said suddenly, rising. He took the magazine as his disappeared.

"Holy non-sequiter, Batman." Cordelia sighed. "Are you worried about him?" she asked, hoping to get Wesley's mind off his head, so to speak.

"Not really. Well, I'm always a bit worried about him, but not over this. I think he just wants to find out how the author views him," the former Watcher answered, switching subjects gratefully.

"Maybe I should try to find him. You know, just to feel him out in case he really hates Angel and whatever is in the story is simply fiction."

"Do you think you know who the author is?" Graham asked.

"Yeah; I mean, it can only be one person: Xander."

"Do you know anything about Xander's feelings for Angel?" asked Graham. "Anything that might indicate he was interested in Angel?"

Cordelia sat down. "He was always incredibly jealous of Angel, but he loved Buffy. I figured that was why, but now, I'm not too sure. He also... Well, I always noticed that Xander spent just as much time checking out guys as he did girls. Whenever they were in the same room, his eyes never left Angel. So, it's a possibility, but I don't know. I haven't heard from him in almost four years."

Wesley rose from his seat and moved next to Cordelia. "I think it's safe to say that Angel's feelings for Xander were more than he ever let on. Perhaps you should try and find Xander, just to see." Cordelia nodded. "I think I will."

*****
Part 10:

Interlude: My Lover isn't Just a Body and Sudden Clarity of Vision

//After Angel left, nothing was the same. Liz threw herself into killing whatever new evil popped up. Our relationship remained tense, but friendly. Somewhere along the line, though, her respect for me had faded and she persisted in viewing me as an idiot child, a helpless acolyte.

It didn't help that Liz was sceptical about my relationship with Amber. No matter how I tried to convince Liz that I really, truly loved Amber, she never believed me.

"I get it, Lex: good sex. I know how it is, especially with the danger we put up with. You need to blow off steam, so you pick a pretty and willing face. I'm not judging."

"Look, just because that's what your relationship is-"

"Watch you mouth," she cut me off angrily. "I love Finn, I do. He's not just a faceless body for me to fuck." "Neither is Amber."// Angel skimmed the next few pages when suddenly he stopped. Amber was killed.

//There are moments in life where suddenly everything is crystal clear. The moments are usually painfully sharp as everything comes into focus and you realize what has been wrong with your life and exactly what you need to do.

I've realized that, for the whole of my life, I've been waiting for someone to rescue me. I stood by the sidelines, cheering on, waiting for one of the heroes to come to me, take me away from my loneliness and fear, to make me whole. Rarely have I realized, or allowed myself to see, that I was wishing a horrible burden on someone. I guess all those around me knew it was impossible anyway. It is easy to rescue someone from a vampire or a demon; it is near impossible to rescue someone from inner demons.

It's not that I wait totally passively. At times, I have fought, desperately, for someone I love. Yet, I didn't do it simply because I loved them; I did it because I thought I needed them.

Now that Amber is dead, I've lost my footing and I'm beginning to question everything. I loved her. I loved her more deeply than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. But the main reason I loved her was because she loved me, and she wanted to be with me. She was there to keep my loneliness at bay; she rescued me from myself.

In doing that, I kept myself from finding out who I really am and what I am capable of.

My time with Liz is over. I need to get out of town, on my own, and grow my own way. My first impulse is always to find her, to go to her, to wait for her to save me somehow. It's a terrible burden to put on anyone.

And so, I go. I say good-bye. I know she doesn't understand, but I don't need her to. I just need to leave.

Out there somewhere is someone waiting for me to find them. I think it's me.//

*****
Part 11:

Present Day - Early Summer

"Cordelia, please can we just go home? I mean, come on, you can barely keep your eyes open."

"No, Charles. I want to see to see the sunrise."

"Oh, I guess I'm in trouble now. You called me Charles." Gunn sighed and pulled Cordelia tighter into his embrace. "The sun doesn't even rise over the ocean here; it sets. This is pointless."

"Gunn, please, I want to do this. It's my birthday and this is where I want to spend the morning. Don't complain, please."

The young vampire hunter smiled. "Okay, Cord, I won't ruin this for you. But seriously, you need to sleep. You were up all night translating that text. I mean, it was helpful, but I know you're exhausted and you didn't even have to fight the demon."

"Yes, gone are the good old days when translating was the solely the duty of on Wesley Wyndam-Price. I'm trying to remember how I was talked into learning all those languages."

"I think it started when you picked up that Latin text and started reading without realizing."

Cordelia nodded and yawned. "Yes, I think that was it. Damn my too fertile brain for learning stuff without my permission."

The couple sat in silence for a while, watching as the sky gradually lightened and day broke around them. It was rare that they were able to steal a moment for themselves; Cordelia divided her days between working with Angel and the gang and spending her time as a social worker at a children's shelter. Quiet times were few, but greatly appreciated.

A solitary jogger made his way along the shoreline. Cordelia barely gave the man a glance, her eyes growing heavy from lack of sleep. She was comfortable in Gunn's arms, and the sound of the ocean was soothing.

"Cordelia?" a familiar voice broke through the cloud of sleepiness.

She opened her eyes, mouth falling open in shock. "Xander?"

Xander Harris, tall, fit, and handsome, stood over the couple, grinning. "I can't believe it's you! How have you been?"

Cordelia jumped to her feet and hugged her old love. "I've been good. What about you? How long have you been in town? What have you been doing? Why haven't you come to see me?" she demanded in a rush.

Gunn rose and stood besides Cordelia. "Cordelia?"

"Oh, sorry. Xander, this is Charles Gunn. Gunn, this is Xander."

Xander stuck his hand out to Gunn. "Nice to meet you."

"Same here."

Xander turned his gaze back to Cordelia. "I've been good. I work in a bar down on Sunset. I've lived here about three years."

"You came after Anya died?"

He flinched slightly, but answered, "Not at first. First, I travelled a bit, did some stuff. Then I came here."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't ready, I guess. I'm sorry."

"I'll live." Cordelia suddenly remembered all the questions she had for him, but decided it wasn't the right time to ask. Instead, she said, "You should come down to the office sometime. We're at the Hyperion. Angel and Wesley would be glad to see you."

He didn't react when she said Angel's name, much to her disappointment. "Maybe I will. Sounds good. Listen, I need to go; I have a meeting later today and need to get cleaned up. Here's my card, give me a call and we'll get together. Nice to meet you, Gunn."

"Yeah, you too, man."

Xander hugged Cordelia, and then ran off.

"He seemed to be in a hurry to leave."

"Maybe he's not ready to face Angel," Cordelia suggested.

"Maybe he's not really the author."

Cordelia tapped the card against her chin. "No, it's him. I know it's him."

Xander Harris walked into his apartment and sat down.

Cordelia. She had looked great. Older, more careworn, but beautiful. And happy, which was the important thing. He was glad to have seen her.

Except, now that he had, she'd probably call him. Then, she'd visit him. They'd talk, reminisce about old times, and, eventually, she'd start talking about Angel. And Angel was the last person he wanted to talk about.

The young man rose and headed for his shower, frustrated with himself. It had been over four years since he'd last seen the vampire. Xander was an adult now, had gone out into the world, broken and alone, picked up the pieces, found himself, found his calling. He loved writing. It was his passion.

The fact that he wrote about Angel didn't help. The possibility of seeing Angel again made him... tingly. Like the giddy teenager he had been the first time he had seen Angel.

Like the morose kid he had been the last time he'd seen the vampire, when all he wanted was for Angel to take Xander into his arms and block the pain of the world out. To rescue him.

Xander had thought he was past all that. He didn't need rescuing anymore; he was happy, successful, talented. But, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he was still lonely.

Which meant he wasn't ready yet.

*****
Part 12:

Interlude: Why Walking Down an Alley Isn't Always a Bad Idea

//"Maybe walking down the alley wasn't such a great idea," I think as I am thrown into a wall. For some reason, I didn't expect this many vampires; I hadn't gotten an exact count, but there were more than two.

I leapt to my feet after crashing into the wall and tried grab my stake. The vampire yanked me towards him, pinning my hands behind my back.

"No, wait!" I said, panicked.

Then one of the others shouted a warning. I was tossed aside, hitting my head against the wall. When I was able to open my eyes without nearly throwing up from the pain, I saw Angel staking the last vampire.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Angel shouted. He stormed over and lifted my by my coat. "You could have been killed."

"Angel! I..." I broke off, my ears ringing and my legs struggling for something to land on.

The vampire shook me. "Are you crazy?"

"Volume!" I gasped, my hands grasping his clenched ones.

I was set down. "Sorry, but� Jesus Christ, Lex, you know better than to go walking around dark ally's at night. Why?"

"I thought I could handle it." I let go of his arm, only to find the world lurching under my feet. I fell into him.

Angel's arms automatically went around me, steadying me. "Handle it? Lex�"

"I know, I know," I sighed. "I'm not strong enough to fight, I shouldn't have put myself in danger, without Liz I'm nothing. I know."

"That's not what I was going to say. I know you can handle one vamp, maybe two, but six? You're a human; Liz had that magic thing going on for her, at least. She came from a long line of humans designed to hunt vampires. You haven't."

"You think I can handle two vampires by myself?"

"Of course. You're not a weakling. Why?" Angel sounded genuinely surprised I asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

Angel sighed. "How long have you been in town?"

"A few weeks."

"How long are you staying?"

"What, you want me to leave already?"

His grip on me tightened just noticeably. "No, I don't. In fact," he paused, and seemed to reconsider. "Why don't I walk you home? You need to rest."

I wanted to ask what else Angel had been planning to say, but I didn't. Instead, I let him take me back to my hotel room, say goodnight, and walk out of my life again.

Or, so I thought.

*****
Part 13

Present Day

"Ms. Chase? Ms. Chase!!" a voice shouted.

Cordelia, ear glued to her cell phone, turned. Lindsey McDonald was jogging up to her.

"Great, this is all I need. Born again lawyer boy," she said, pausing for the lawyer to catch up. "Gunn? I've got to go now. See you in an hour. I love you too. Bye." She hung up and looked expectantly at Lindsey. "Yes?"

"Ms. Chase, you look ravishing. When are you going to leave that street hood and run away with me?" he asked, leaning close, taking her hand and kissing it suavely.

"Let me think. Before hell freezes over, but after you adopt a child and win father of the year award. Of course, if we did, you'd break Wesley's heart which means I'd have to kill you."

Lindsey appeared to be in thought. "Still, it's a chance I think I'd risk. Would you sleep with me before or after you killed me?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes and started walking. "Defiantly before." Lindsey fell into step beside her. She glanced over, then asked, "Is this a social visit, or did you have something you needed to tell me?"

"We won."

"We won? Oh my God!"

"I not only managed to convince the jury that the kid's father was a dead-beat asshole that deserved ten to twenty, but the judge also decided to release the kid into adoption. I talked to the foster mother and she's now thinking of doing it."

"You are a genius!" Cordelia exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and kissing his cheek. "Really, you are wonderful. This is so good, I really didn't think you'd be able to pull it off. Thank you so much, Lin, you... What is it?" she asked, seeing his face.

"Nothing," he replied. Then, seeing she wasn't buying it, he answered, "Okay, yeah, I'm happy I did something good. And I'm glad to be working with you instead of against you, but I'm bored! Ever since I had to leave Wolfram and Hart because I was caught, I've done nothing exciting."

"Lin, you had a choice. It was either keep your position as double agent or let those kids be burned to death. You could have done differently and still be in the danger life."

"Do you think the Powers were testing me?"

"Yes, I do. They do that from time to time, trying to keep their agent's honest. They worked hard on you, giving you a chance, saving your soul, making you a prophet. They wanted to make sure you were still on track and you proved their faith in you wasn't unwarranted."

Lindsey looked down. "But I'm bored. Yes, I like what I do, but I want to fight real evil."

"So, come home early tonight, maybe I'll have a vision and you can go out slaying with the boys."

"Angel doesn't like me to go slaying with them."

"That's because you and Wesley always get too distracted. You guys go out, Wesley gets sick, you bump into a demon, but you're too busy freaking over Wesley to fight." Cordelia inhaled sharply as a thought struck her. "Lin? Wesley's tests came back negative, right? They couldn't find anything wrong."

The lawyer closed his eyes tightly as anger born out of intense anxiety flooded over him. "Yes. The doctor said he was fine, maybe migraines. But that doesn't explain why before he gets the headaches, his entire body seizes. He's not okay."

"Wait. Every time he gets sick, it's the same, right? His body shakes like he's in intense pain, he had trouble breathing, then the headache hits?"

"Right."

"And then a demon attacks. Every time. Am I right?"

Lindsey opened his eyes and looked at her. He was quiet for a long moment, thinking. "Yeah, I think. I'm pretty sure, but I'd have to ask him."

"So maybe he's not sick. Maybe he's a demon detector." Cordelia smiled, feeling relief she knew she had to be right.

"God, I hope so. Maybe Oz would know."

"If he did, don't you think he would have said something?"

The lawyer shook his head. "No, not unless we asked. And, we had to ask the right question for a thing like this, or the Powers wouldn't feed him the answer. They can suck like that, remember?"

"True; like blinding pain with the visions. Really not necessary in my opinion."

"I'm going to ask Wesley to marry me," Lindsey said suddenly. "You know, legally, symbolically and everything. Now that the California voters have come to their senses, I think we should."

"That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you." Cordelia leaned over and hugged the lawyer hard. "I know he'll say yes. He loves you so much he can hardly think straight when you're together."

"I know." Lindsey looked seriously at Cordelia. "I think that you should start thinking about you and Gunn. I'm getting this feeling. A war's coming. Oz is working overtime, and you've been getting some major visions. Demons are rising from other dimensions, evil multiplying all around us. I think whatever is out there is going to make its move. Cordelia shivered, knowing that the lawyer's words were true. "Any idea when the war is going to be?"

"No, I can't tell the future; that's your job, remember? I just speak the words," his tone was light for a moment, before the gravity seeped in again. "My point is, as a team we are strong, and in pairs we are complete. I have Wes, you have Gunn, Oz has Graham. We're almost whole."

"Almost whole," she repeated. "We need to get Angel and Xander together soon. I know they are supposed to be together. They'll be more complete with each other than without, and we'll all be more complete with both of them."

*****
Part 14:

Interlude: The Dangers of Brushing Your Teeth

//It hit me when I was brushing my teeth. Big, glaring pain, so blinding that I fell to the floor, clutching my head.

There were images whirling all around me, faces, names, dates, places. It was too much; I know I was screaming, tears of pain were running down my face as I begged for it just to stop. Then, abruptly, it did.

I was standing in a void of light, nothing around me. "Hello?" I was pretty sure I was dead.

"Will you undertake the duty?" a voice boomed.

I winced at the sound. "What?"

"Will you undertake the duty we wish to give you?" The voice was big and resonant.

"Who are you, what duty?"

"We are who we are. We charge you with the guidance of the fallen one, the one in need of redemption."

"Are you God?" My mind was whirling.

"We charge you with the guidance of the fallen one, the one in need of redemption," it repeated. "Will you undertake the duty we wish to give you?"

Ok, not much on conversation. "What duty? And for whom?"

"The fallen one, a friend, your perceived rival. He has long been banished from our sight, kept in the darkness, punished for actions he had little control over. We will give him a chance to redeem himself, yet he needs a guide. We have chosen you."

A light began to dawn in my brain, but I was still sceptical. "A friend and rival? Do you mean Angel?"

"Yes."

"Oh man. What do you need me to do?"

"This is the beginning, a divine calling. You will be sent visions and will guide him to those who need help. Will you undertake the duty?"

"What's the catch?"

There was a long silence, as if the entity were considering whether or not to crush me. "The visions will not come without their pain. Will you make the sacrifice to allow the fallen one a chance to redeem?"

I thought about it. Pain, like that I had just experienced, I guessed. To help Angel. "Why don't you ask Liz to do this?"

"We need one uncorrupted by magical influence, one who is not by nature a Warrior. We need one whose feelings are strong and pure, uncorrupted by ambivalence or doubt. We need one who truly sees what the fallen one is, whose sight is clear. Will you undertake the duty we wish to give you?"

"Why me?"

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?"

Help Angel find redemption. Help Angel find peace. Help Angel be free to love.

"I will undertake the duty," I finally said, my voice quavering slightly.

I was ripped out of the void, plunged back into the whirl of images. The pain grew; just when it seemed too much, I saw one person clearly. I latched onto her, then came to myself, on the floor of my bathroom, screaming.

I sat up and bolted to my living room. Grabbing a paper and a pen, I wrote ~Katherine Blankely, Denny's, midnight~before passing out.//

*****