Present Day

"Why are we here again?" Angel asked.

"I told you, we're celebrating Lindsey and Wesley. They said they'd meet us here," Cordelia answered, pulling Angel inside the bar.

He glanced around, then remarked, "This is what I don't understand: they live in the hotel, they were at the hotel when we left, yet they're comingseparately. Why?"

"It really has been awhile since you've been involved with someone, hasn't it? Let's sit here." She practically pushed the vampire into a seat.

Angel glanced at Gunn. Cordelia had been acting oddly all the way over; Gunn simply shrugged at Angel's unspoken question.

"I'll go get us some drinks. Any requests? I don't think they serve blood, but I can always ask."

"No, thank you. Just get me whatever isn't too sweet."

"Great!" she flashed a smile and flounced away.

The vampire leaned across the table. "Spill it."

"What?" Gunn responded.

"I know something is going on and I know you know about it. So tell me."

"I don't know anything."

Angel eyed the man. "You are really a bad liar. I hate liars, I really do. Do you know what I do to liars?"

"Do you know what Cordelia will do to you if you do anything to me?"

"I don't live my unlife in fear of Cordelia."

"Yes you do, we all do," argued Gunn. "Even solider boy. Last week he accidentally spilled something on her sweater and spent the day hiding in the one place he was certain she wouldn't go."

"Where was that?"

"The men's bathroom at the courthouse."

Angel allowed a smile to slip. "How long did it take her to find him?"

"About an hour. She threatened Lindsey, who knew - I honestly thought he'd last longer against her, but no one survives the wrath of Cordelia."

"So I've noticed. I..." Angel's voice trailed off as he caught sight of the woman in question. And the man she was speaking animatedly to. Xander.

They began walking towards the table.

Feeling suddenly flushed and bothered, although he knew he probably wasn't, the vampire tore his gaze of the beautiful mortal and glared at Gunn.

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"Hey, Gunn, right? Good to see you again. And hi," Xander turned to Gunn's companion, "Angel." The drink Xander had been holding slipped from his grasp.

Angel reached out and caught it, his eyes suddenly locked on Xander's.

"H-hi Angel. Didn't expect to see you here," the mortal said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Same here," Angel replied, his voice neutral. He cursed internally as everything he had been thinking of saying to the boy once he finally found him fled his mind.

"So, uh, how you been?"

"Good. You?"

"Can't complain." They looked awkwardly at each other for a moment then, as if by mutual decision, glanced away. "I didn't realize you were with them. I would have gotten some blood or something for you."

"I'm fine."

"Good. Great." Another awkward pause. "Well, I've got to get back to work."

"Yeah, all right."

Their eyes met again. It seemed that in that moment, time stopped, just briefly, before whirling back around them.

"It was good seeing you again, Angel."

"You too."

"Take care. Later Cordy, Gunn." Xander bolted suddenly, leaving the three behind.

An uneasy silence descended over the table as Cordelia glared at Angel and the vampire tried to sort through his jumbled emotions.

"Hey everyone!" Lindsey greeted, walking up with Wesley.

Wesley looked at their faces. "What happened?"

"Deadboy over here just blew his chance with Xander," explained Cordelia, glaring at the vampire. "God, Angel, you were so cold! What the hell were you thinking?"

"You should have told me. You should have asked it I wanted to see him. You should have-"

"If I had, you would have said no. You've known about him for what, two months now? You keep acting like as soon as you get through all the stories you'll track him down, but guess what, Angel, you're not going to. I know you, we all know you."

"I haven't been able to find the last few issues; once I found them-"

"Bullshit," Lindsey interrupted. "Cordelia's right; you weren't going to find him. The least you can do is respect us enough to admit it."

Angel looked away from his friends. "Fine, maybe I wasn't. But maybe it's better this way."

"No, it isn't." Cordelia told him.

"He didn't seem all that thrilled to see me."

Gunn snorted. "I think you both have issues."

Angel was just about to open his mouth when Lindsey's cell phone rang. He answered it.

"Hello? Graham? Whoa, wait. Say that again slowly. ... What? We'll be right there." Lindsey closed the phone. "Oz and three other Oracles were attacked in Greece. It's beginning."

*****
Part 16:

Graham was pacing, his agitation clearly showing. His hands kept clenching and unclenching he threw glances over at the couch.

"Calm down, dude. He'll be fine," Gunn said. "I can't," was the terse reply.

"I've found it. The demon's name is Azazel," announced Wesley, entering the lobby with a large book. "He's demon that dates back to the time of Leviticus. Originally thought to be a place, it turns out he is a wilderness demon, quite powerful, that was thrown out of his dimension. He is also variously called the devil, a fallen angel, or a wilderness satyr; the last is the closet to the truth."

Oz sat up from the couch, where Cordelia was patching the last of his bandage together. He was pale from the loss of blood, but his eyes held a strong sense of purpose and strength. "He had partners way back." The Oracle's voice held the slight resonance it had when his mind had tapped into the vast spectrum of the Powers that Be. "Lilith, a night creature. She's a demon who had her start in Mesopotamia. She tempts men, kills children, is not a nice demon. Definitely in love with chaos.

"Then there is Dever, a pestilence demon. Not much to say about him. The point is all three work for a main demon, Leviathan. He's a dragon-like chaos demon that has been imprisoned on another dimension for centuries."

"I've met him," Angel said softly.

Everyone looked at him. He had been quiet since returning to the hotel.

"Acathla was the portal to the dimension he's in."

Oz nodded. "That's right. Anyway, Lilith and Dever were chained under some river in the immortal realm. They were guarded by four angels who were killed and sent to that dimension. Azazel was never caught, never confined, but has stayed in the wilderness for most of time, until recently when he started assimilating into humanity, trying to empower demons and raise an army. He's got power, so he broke his old friends out of their prison. Then they attacked us. If they manage to weaken humanity and The Powers That Be enough, they could possibly release Leviathan and bring about a new order, one with demons in control."

Everyone was silent while they digested this news.

"So, what do we do?" Cordelia asked finally.

"We fight." Graham answered without hesitation.

"But what do we fight? Where do we go?" she replied. Everyone looked at her.

"What? Why doesn't Oz know? He's the Oracle? Or Lindsey? He's the Prophet."

"A seer sees from where the attack comes, a Prophet speaks the words and an Oracle feels how the tide goes. It has to come from you," Lindsey told her.

"I can't just make a vision happen. I don't control them."

"Then we wait," said Wesley. "When the time comes, we will know. For now, we wait."

Silence again. "I'll be back." Angel abruptly rose and left the hotel.

"Xander?" Cordelia asked hopefully.

"Let's hope so," replied Gunn. "Let's hope."

*****
Part 17:

Interlude: When Everything Becomes Clear

//"So, that's it?" Angel asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're here because some entity told you to come? You're going to guide me to redemption?"

I rose and moved about, agitated. "I knew you wouldn't believe me, but it's true. That girl I told you about? They sent me a vision about her."

"But I already saved her."

"So? How else would I have known? I'm telling the truth. I'm here to help you." A pain contracted in my chest. I never expected to feel this way, to really care about whether he wanted me or not. Hell, I never knew I wanted him, but faced with rejection, it was suddenly clear. "But I guess you don't want me, so..."

"I want you."

"I'll just be leaving," I finished. I turned to go when what he said hit me. I didn't move, waiting for the words to make sense.

"I want you, Lex."

I turned. Angel looked uncertain and a little off balance.

"I want you to help me," he clarified. Then he shrugged. "You're a good guy."

"Oh. You want me to help." "Yes."

I nodded. "Ok, then I'll stay. To help. You." He actually smiled. "Good."

"Yeah, good," I echoed.//

Present Day

"Angel! Wow, you know where I live. How... Oh, Cordelia," Xander said, answering the door.

"I got the address from her. Cordelia. Yes. So, can I come in?" Angel asked awkwardly.

"Right. Yes. Come in." Xander backed away, allowing the vampire to pass.

Angel stepped in, pausing for a moment, feeling the mortal's body heat wash over him, before moving on. Glancing the apartment, sparsely but tastefully decorated, he said, "This is a nice place."

"Thanks. It's what I like to call home."

"Oh."

There was a pause before Xander said, "So, what brings you here?"

Angel turned to face Xander. He wanted to say so many things, but found he couldn't. He couldn't mention any of the things that he had been thinking since first reading the stories. He couldn't tell Xander that he had been spending so many nights dreaming of him, remembering what he looked like: the curve of his lips, the color of his eyes as they reflected his various emotions, the flush of his skin when he was excited, the strong build of his body, the way he moved, always so unconsciously elegant. He couldn't tell Xander how he had loved him for quite some time - since Willow's wedding - but that he had been too afraid to say anything, too afraid to try and find the mortal, and too afraid to tell him what was in his heart.

He couldn't say anything because he was too unsure. Doubt plagued him and he decided everything was better left unsaid.

"I just wanted to say that I think I was a little cold earlier and I didn't mean to be. I wanted to say that it'd be good to see you some time. It'd be nice if you came down to the Hyperion. And... it's real good to see you."

Xander smiled softly, breathing a sigh of relief. Whatever he had been expecting obviously hadn't come. "I think I'd like that. Maybe I will."

"Just come when you think you're ready."

"When I'm ready?" the mortal echoed. Then his face turned slightly pink. "I will."

"Good."

"Yeah, good."

*****
Part 18:

Interlude: All I've Ever Wanted

//I opened my eyes, my head pounding, feeling weak. "What happened?"

"You're safe; I've got you." Angel's face appeared over mine, filled with concern.

"Angel?"

Cold hands touched me gently. "You were almost killed. I almost lost you. All I've ever wanted, and I almost lost it."

"They would have sent someone else," I told him.

Angel shook his head. "I don't want anyone else. I want you."

I blinked. Did he mean what I thought?

"Angel?"

Angel lifted me gently, pulled me close. My heart began pounding fear and excitement.

"I just want you," he whispered before his lips took mine. "Just you."//

Present Day

"Are you planning to go downstairs sometime today, or just sit up here and brood? Again?"

Angel glanced away from the window over at Wesley. The watcher was lying across the bed, holding his head. He had another headache, the fifth one that week.

Oz had finally found out that Dever had swept through L.A. earlier in the week. About half the city had fallen victim to an unidentified illness as a result. Oz had said if the trio of demons were able to weaken humanity enough, they could possible free Leviathan. Apparently, this was a start. The demon was so powerful that Wesley was still feeling the affects of his presence. Cordelia had been correcting deducing the reason for his attacks: Wesley, always extremely sensitive to magic and the other realm, had developed a warning mechanism activated by the presence of demons. Although it caused Wesley pain, it meant they now had a way to tell when the demons were near. This was a major advantage because the trio of demon's power had grown to the point they could hide themselves even from The Powers That Be. But not from a Sensitive; the more powerful they got, the better Wesley could sense them.

"Are you sure Dever is gone?"

"I told you he is. This is simply the after image of his presence and you didn't answer my question. Xander came to see you and you're up here. Why?"

"He didn't come to see me, he came to see-"

"Angel," Wesley's tone was warning.

Angel sighed in frustration. "I don't know what to say to him. I mean, what should I? 'Hey, I read your stories, you're a great writer, by the way, do they mean anything?' Besides, I fell in love with Xander, teen-age funny man. I don't know that man downstairs."

Wesley rose and walked to the window. "Then go down and get to know him. He couldn't have changed so much that you no longer recognize him."

"No, he hasn't."

"Then go."

"Wes, I left Sunnydale so Buffy could have a normal life. You and I broke up because being with a vampire wasn't right for you. How can I do something like that to Xander?"

"We broke up because I was in love with Lindsey and everyone but me knew it," corrected Wesley. "And you and Buffy, a Slayer, were never right together. Besides, everything is different now. We may not survive this; he may not survive this. He loves you. It's there in his writings, it's in his looks, it's in the air when you two are around each other. You're just scared."

"Maybe I am. I can face a demon, face death, but this... I'm bad at this." Angel shook his head and sat down. "It's better this way."

"It's never better this way." Wesley sighed and sat across from his friend. "Do you remember when I told you that you were going to die? The whole 'shanshu' fiasco? I almost told you I loved you then. I did later, but I hadn't yet realized the difference between loving and being in love. I said nothing because I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. Then Darla came and you fired me, and that's when I realized it didn't matter. It didn't matter if you didn't love me because I loved you. I wasn't afraid of that feeling anymore because it was true and real. After you were saved, I had to tell you because if I didn't, it meant I didn't trust you. There was nothing you could have said or done to diminish my feelings and in order to honor myself, I had to honor you. If you truly love and respect Xander, you have to tell him, Angel. You have to."

Angel looked at his former lover for a long time as his words penetrated. His mind flashed to the first time he had seen Xander, and the first time he had seen Xander as a sexual being. The boy had held such light, such courage; Angel had always felt Xander was the most courageous of the group because he had no magical powers or super strength. He was just a mortal who strove to do what was right, to banish the darkness with his inner light.

He was the heart, the light, the soul of the group. And of Angel.

Angel nodded once, knowing what needed to be done.

"I want to talk to you."

Xander glanced into the lobby where everyone, except Wesley and Angel, were.

"What?" he asked, opening the fridge and taking out a can of soda.

"You're a writer."

He blinked in surprise, the nodded guardedly. "Yes, I am. You knew?"

"We saved someone who recognized Angel from your stories. He's been reading them obsessively ever since."

The writer turned a deep shade of red. "Uh-huh; and you?"

"Every issue. But they never told me anything I couldn't have figured out myself. You're in love with Angel."

"No!" he protested quickly. "It was just� the fans, and..." Xander trailed off. "Yeah. I'm in love with him."

Cordelia grinned, then hit him on the arm. "So why did you never find him? Why are you down here with me and not up there with him? Why are you acting like an idiot?"

"Because I'm not ready."

"What?"

"Cordy, I left Sunnydale to find myself. I needed to learn how to live on my own and be happy on my own. When I was, then I'd be ready to be with someone without them having to rescue me."

"Well? Aren't you happy? You seem happy."

"Yes, I am happy. But I'm lonely, too. And that means I'm not completely happy on my own, so I can't be with anyone."

Cordelia shook her head as his twisted logic ran around in her mind, trying to make sense of itself. "Okay, so you're lonely. Are you lonely all the time?"

"Well, no."

"Half the time? Or, are you lonely when you thing about Angel?"

Xander shrugged. "When I think about him, I guess."

"Could it be that you are happy with you life, but since you're in love with him there's this hole in you that can only be filled by him? One that has nothing to do with being rescued?" The writer had no response.

"I'm right, aren't I? So what you need to do is get your butt upstairs and talk to him. Tell him. 'Cause, Xander? When the war reaches here, we'll need you."

Xander winced, thinking about what the gang had told him about the road ahead. And, he had to admit, being part of a group, part of a *family*, seemed better for facing the possible end than being alone.

"Okay. I'll go see what happens," he finally answered.

Cordelia turned him towards the lobby stairs and pushed him. "Go."

*****
Part 19:

Present Day

"Angel?"

"Xander."

The two looked at each other for a long moment, unsure of what to say. The air was heavy with anticipation, nervousness, and desire.

For the first time, Angel could smell the obvious desire pouring off Xander. He wondered how he had missed it before.

"I want to say-" they both started, the broke off.

"Can I?" asked Xander, raising his eyebrow. "Of course."

Xander opened his mouth, then closed it, seeming at a loss. He walked over to Angel's dressing table and picked up the magazine on it.

"I always wondered if you knew about this," he started, looking down at the cover. "Sometimes I was terrified you'd find out and come do something. Then I'd get angry that you weren't doing anything, which was stupid, I know. It began to feel like I was writing these for you and just for you, and when you didn't notice, it hurt."

"Xander..." Angel said, but the mortal continued as if he hadn't heard.

"I started these as a way to prove I wasn't stupid. No one gave me much credit for brain-type activities and when I was suddenly on my own with no one but me to doubt my ability, I started writing. I had this great story to tell, the love between a vampire hunter and a vampire. It caught on; people loved it. No one thought Lex and Liz should be together. I never received one letter telling me to make them a couple.

"But, I got lots of letters telling me that the relationship between Lex and Angel was great. Plenty of people thought that *they* should be together. I didn't understand it. There I was, pouring all my anger, my frustration about you and Buffy through Lex, and people were telling me that he was in love with Angel.

"Then, I began thinking. Yes, I loved Buffy, I did. But� in over half my fantasies about her, I ended up taking her place. I always knew I was attracted to men, but I never really realized I was attracted to you. Or, rather, I never realized that my attraction was more than just lust; I had fallen in love with you."

"Xan..."

"No. Let me finish; this is hard." Xander ran his hand though his hair and took a deep breath. "So, I realized I loved you and then I realized I was resentful of Buffy. Not because you love her, but because she loved you for the wrong reasons. She thought you were this romantic, tender, dashing savior, humanity seeping out from every pour, someone who could do no wrong. I didn't think that was fair to you; she put you on so high a pedestal and when you fell, you fell hard.

"You couldn't do that with me. I was always aware that under the softness liveda killer. Maybe you don't kill, or only kill evil, but that never changes your nature. It doesn't change who you are. And still I loved you. I think you are the only being in the world that I've loved simply for existing and not because of what you might potentially be to me. I don't want you to save me, or protect me, or shelter me. I just want you to be.

"I love you, Angel."

Angel stared at the young man in amazement. Everything he had just said resonated deeply within the vampire. He was speechless.

So, he didn't use words. Instead, he walked up to Xander, took him in his arms, and kissed him.

When Xander pulled away for breath, just for a moment, just a little bit (they couldn't let too much space get between them; they had already allowed years to go by), Angel whispered, "I love you too, Xander. I love you too."

Downstairs, the seer, the prophet, and the Oracle all smiled. They looked at their respective lovers with joy on their faces.

"Finally," Lindsey said, squeezing Wesley's hand. "The circle is complete."

~fin~