*****

Prologue

Winter 2000/2001

Lindsey sat in the corner of the room that had once been a shelter and was now a prison. He had been there five hours as Darla and Drusilla had slowly brought death to his co-workers. They were now taking a short break while the two other remaining lawyers huddled against the couch, crying.

Lindsey didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. He was bored, he was hungry, and he was tired. And he wasn't dead yet.

That was the part that surprised him most. Not that he wasn't dead; he figured that Darla would wait to kill him or whatever until after everyone else was dead. What surprised him was what he wanted most of all wasn't to be turned or taken as Darla's mate, but to die.

Death was not something he had ever consciously considered but, now that he was here, he realized that it was what he had been craving for the longest time.

He wanted peace from the world.

"Drusilla, darling, please shut those two up," Darla said languidly, waking.

Half asleep, Drusilla rose and broke the last two lawyer's necks.

"Thank you," the blond vampiress sighed. She opened her eyes and looked over at Lindsey. "Hello gorgeous," she purred.

The lawyer offered her a small smile.

"Still not scared. You should be; you don't know what's going to happen next. For all you know I could..."

Lindsey never found out what Darla was going to say. Quite suddenly, with no warning, she burst into a cloud of vapor, Drusilla going next.

"What the hell?!" the human exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

In Darla's place was a ghost. He was short, with large shiny eyes, a small smile, and translucent skin. He looked eerily familiar.

"Who are you?" gasped Lindsey.

"My names Doyle. You're Lindsey McDonald and you are in trouble," the ghost replied.

"What?"

"You've ruined everything. You worked for the darker forces, giving them power, taking the Warrior away from The Powers That Be. And now, you're going to get him back."

Lindsey stared at the ghost in confusion. "I'm going to get your Warrior back. Who do you... Oh. Angel." Recognition dawned. "You were Angel's partner."

"Before I died, yes. Now, consider me the ghost of Christmas Past, Present,and Future. You are being charged with a duty and that duty is to save Angel's soul before he is lost completely."

"Why should I do that? I don't give a fuck about Angel, or the Powers that Be, or you."

Doyle stepped closer. "You want to die. You want release. I've got news for you, pal, death doesn't equal release. If you were to die right now, you're damned. Do you have any idea what that means?" His voice was low and intense, his eyes piercing.

Despite himself, Lindsey shivered. "Why should I care?" he threw back, striving to make his voice nonchalant.

Doyle reached out and touched Lindsey's arm.

It felt as if he were being ripped apart, one muscle at a time. A thousand bright hot points of pain drove into every nerve. His brain expanded, exploded, contracted; his stomach heaved and twisted. Never before had he even imagined such agony. He couldn't think of anything except the pain, he couldn't breath, couldn't cry, scream, or escape. He was trapped.

Abruptly, it ended. Lindsey fell to the floor, gasping, tears rolling down his face.

"That's what it's like, over and over. You are trapped in that moment until the Powers decided otherwise. There is no getting used to it, no dulling from overload, not getting away. You could be there for one day or one century; you could be there until the end of time. And that will be all you will ever know. So tell me, Lindsey: is it worth it?"

"No," the lawyer was able to gasp out.

"Save Angel. Do your best, we will know otherwise."

Lindsey looked up. "Angel hates me. I don't think there's anything I can do to make him listen to me."

Doyle crouched next to him. "Find him. When the time comes, the words will come, Prophet." The ghost touched him again, only this time the pain and fear faded, replaced by calm and a sense of duty. "Go in peace."

The doors of the shelter flew open and the ghost disappeared.

"Oh God," Lindsey gasped, calm fleeing and replaced with fear born by the idea the near impossibility of his task.

"How do you feel?" Wesley asked, bringing Cordelia a glass of ice water.

"Like I've just had five visions within a half hour," she snapped back. The she sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. It just hurts so much." Tears were in her voice, sliding down her cheeks.

"I know." The former Watcher lifted her head gently, bringing her lips to the glass.

"It's not just from the visions," she corrected after taking a sip. "It's everything. I thought... I thought we were a family, you know? We were doing okay. It was hard, but worth it. God, Wes, nothing had ever made me feel so good about myself than helping people. It mattered. And I thought it mattered to him too; was I wrong?"

Wesley stroked her hair gently, his heart aching. "No, you weren't. He was simply pushed too far and it broke him."

"Why weren't we enough to save him?" was her anguished reply.

He could think of no answer.

There was a sudden pounding on the door. Cordelia and Wesley glanced at each other. "Gunn?" she said hopefully.

The young vampire hunter had stormed out into the world angrily after being summarily dismissed from Angel's employment the previous evening. In between her visions, Cordelia had been anxiously watching the phone and the door, hoping for some word from him.

"Perhaps." Wesley went and opened the door, hoping for Cordelia's sake it was Gunn. He sighed when he saw who it was. "Not Gunn," he said to the figure, stone faced.

"Do you have any idea where Angel is?" an extremely disheveled Lindsey asked breathlessly.

Wesley was attempting to think of an appropriately derogatory reply when there was a crash from the other room and Cordelia cried out in pain.

He rushed over to her, the lawyer tagging along.

"I've got you, I've got you," Wesley soothed, cradling Cordelia in his arms as she was forced through a vision.

"He's killed a girl! No, he's going to kill her. Oh God, Wes, he's going to..." she choked out as the vision faded.

"When and where?" demanded Lindsey.

"Tonight at "Rob's Place", a bar on Hollywood Boulevard," Cordelia answered, not noticing to whom she was speaking.

"Any more specific on the time?"

"Around eight."

"What are you planning to do?"

Lindsey gazed unflinchingly at Wesley's accusing eyes. "The Powers That Be want me to save him. I have to."

"Why should we trust you?"

He shrugged. "I don't think you have to. They already do." He looked down at Cordelia. "What's going on with her?"

"She's been having visions of what Angel has done, is doing, and will do. They started around noon and have been coming with increasing frequency."

"Here, this is my cell phone number. Call me next time she has a vision so I know where to find him. I'm going to stop him, I swear. Just... just in case."

Wesley took Lindsey's card, their fingers brushing as he did so. A jolt was sent through the former Watcher, the type he experienced whenever he performed magic. Lindsey was full of magical power.

Still untrusting, but looking at the lawyer through new, speculative eyes, Wesley nodded. "I will kill you if you are lying, you know."

Lindsey nodded. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

"Angel."

Angel turned away from the girl he was with, his gaze landing on Lindsey. Unfocused from drinking and some sort of drug, his eyes brightened. "Lindsey McDonald. It's good to see you, my boy. What are you doing here? Where are the girls?" He glanced around the alley as if expecting them to appear.

"They're dead. Angel, come with me. We need to talk." Lindsey's heart was pounding in fear as he faced the drunken vampire. He had no idea what he was doing or what he was supposed to say.

"Hey! He's with me!" the girl protested.

Angel pushed her away hard. "Go 'way." He walked over to Lindsey. "What do you want?"

Feeling foolish, he said the first thing to come to mind. "To save you."

The vampire started laughing. "Save me? Oh, that's good. I like that one. Tell me another." He leaned close, trapping Lindsey against the wall.

"No, really. The Powers that-"

"Fuck them," Angel cut him off. "Fuck The Powers That Fucking Be. Fuck them. Got it? I don't care. They... they take everything from you. My life, my soul, Buffy, Doyle, Darla. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Angel, you don't mean that. You-"

"Yes I do." Suddenly, any evidence of drugs and alcohol were gone and Lindsey was looking into the eyes of the demon. "Since when do you work for the Powers anyway, Lindsey? Since when are you concerned with saving anybody? You're a hot shot lawyer at Wolfram and Hart, the firm created by the darker forces. Why are you here?" He pressed his body against Lindsey's, rubbing himself slowly against the lawyer.

"I was sent by the-"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Angel pulled away for a moment, then reached down to Lindsey's pants.

Lindsey flinched and began trembling, but didn't say anything.

The vampire stopped and looked at Lindsey for a long moment. "Fuck." He finally said. Then he left.

The lawyer slumped to the ground, shaking, tears threatening. He'd failed. First try, he'd failed. Now he was damned.

* * *

"You're still here," Wesley said, reluctant relief evident in his tone.

Lindsey looked up. "Yeah. How'd you find me?"

"Cordelia had a vision." Wesley offered his hand to help Lindsey up. "You look like you could use a drink."

Warily, Lindsey allowed the other man to pull him to his feet. "I failed."

"No, you didn't. The Powers told Delia in her vision that you've made a start, but you can't give up. They told her that you are working your way towards redemption as well."

"After giving me a taste of what damnation will feel like. It wasn't much of a choice.

"Still, they showed you what would happen. That was kind of them."

"Do you believe me?"

Wesley led Lindsey into the bar they had been behind and sat down. After ordering two drinks, he turned back to the lawyer. "I don't know. I don't know what to believe or not to believe anymore. Two days ago, Angel was a partner, a friend. Now, he's fired me from both positions, I assume, and is on this rampage. You, who were my enemy, are suddenly the best shot at getting him back. I don't know what to believe or even think anymore."

"I know what you mean."

The two men fell silent, sipping their drinks. Lindsey finished his and gestured for another.

"You know I wanted him?" he said suddenly. "From the first moment he walked into my life, I wanted him so badly. He was gorgeous, strong. I used to fantasize about how it would happen. He'd come to me, I'd go to him. I thought about offering myself to him that time he helped me. After I went back I had rape fantasies about him, imagining he'd punish me for betraying him. Then tonight..." Lindsey downed his drink. "I was so fucking scared. He was pressing against me, and he was hard and I know he's stronger then me. Then he, he reached for me and I could see what he wanted, what he planned to do to me and I realized I didn't want it to be like that. I've been... forced before, but it meant so much more when it was coming from Angel. I don't think I would have been able to take it, not from him."

"He has great power over you."

"Yes."

Wesley sighed. "He didn't do it, though."

"No."

"Then he may still be saved."

Lindsey nodded, then glanced at his companion. "Do you love him?"

There as a guarded pause, as if the former Watcher were considering the intent of the question. The quiet answer was, "Yes."

The lawyer nodded. "I swear I'll save him." His eyes were bright and earnest as if having a person to act for made his task more important.

"Why? Is it simply because of being damned otherwise?"

"No. I thought I wanted death, but all I want is to be clean, for once in my life, just to be clean. Angel is part of that, I've always known. You want something for so long, even when you pretend you don't, so when suddenly your salvation is staring you in the face, you know what it is. I was scared. It scares me because it's the harder choice; it means never resting, always fighting and struggling. But it's what I want, they showed me that. I need to save Angel because he's so bound up in it all. We all need him, you know, even The Powers That Be."

"Yes, we all do."

* * *

For three weeks it was touch and go. Cordelia would send Lindsey off, but Angel would always elude him. He would lead Lindsey through terrifying obstacles, testing, taunting, and, in the end, saving. Once Lindsey had been knocked unconscious, only to wake up at Cordelia's apartment, safe.

"Fuck this. I'm going to him," Lindsey finally said after Cordelia's umpteenth vision of the day.

"Are you sure? Walking into the lion's den like that may not accomplish anything," responded Wesley, concerned.

"I've tried everything else. I can't watch her do this anymore; it's too hard. It's time to confront him on his own turf."

"What if he kills you?" Cordelia asked, her voice tight with pain.

The lawyer shrugged. "Then I die. But I die trying to do something good. I have to risk it."

Cordelia and Wesley glanced at each other, then rose from their seats. "We'regoing with you."

"No, you don't..." he began protesting. He had grown to actually care for Cordelia and Wesley, and, figuring he was walking to his death, his impulse was to protect them.

"For better or for worse, Lindsey, we're a team. We're all in this together,"the young woman told him.

He looked helplessly from one to the other. They were determined.

"Fine. We go in together."

* * *

"Get out, all of you."

"No, Angel. This needs to stop. You need to get over this," Cordelia answered back.

Angel appeared, leaning on the banister. "This is my home and you are not invited in."

"Fuck you, Angel," said Wesley.

Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"I said 'fuck you.' This was our home too. We were a family before you decided to fire us. Before you betrayed us."

"I only did what I had to do. To protect you from me."

Cordelia shook her head. "Protect us? Angel, we were worried about you. We still are. Pushing away hurt us more. Protect us? Ok, so you haven't hurt us physically, but mentally. I've been getting visions practiacally every hour about you so not only I suffer, but Wesley has to suffer watching me. By 'protecting' us you've hurt yourself and your family."

"And Lindsey? Am I hurting Lindsey too?"

Lindsey stepped next to the other two. "I've been charged to save you. I want to save you, like you once tried to save me."

"Tried and failed."

"You didn't fail; I did."

Angel laughed mockingly and began to slowly descend the stairs. "And now,what? The Powers That Be have sent you to talk some sense into me? Why should I listen to anyone they send me, or do anything they tell me to do? I was out there, trying to be a good little Warrior, sacrificing myself every night. And all the while, they were biding their time to see if I would fuck up and then turn their back on me when I did."

"They haven't turned their back on you; they sent me," Lindsey replied.

Angel smirked. "You. A fallen angel. A lawyer: the other demon. There is nothing you can do to make me go back."

Lindsey felt his heart contract with fear and pain. Angel was right; who was he? A lawyer, a good one, with a dirty soul. Why had he been chosen? Why not Wesley? Why not someone who was clean?

"Because none of them can understand him. He wouldn't listen to anyone who hasn't fallen, and Wesley hasn't, not really. You have," Doyle's voice whispered in his ear. "What can I do?" Lindsey breathed.

"Talk. It's what you do best. I'll give you the words."

Suddenly, a great force entered Lindsey. Opening his mouth, words began pouring out. "Where were you when we laid the/earth's foundations?/Tell me, since you are so well-informed!/" His voice echoed off the walls of the Hyperion. Cordelia and Wesley gazed at him in wonder. "Who decided its dimensions, do you/know? Or who stretched the measuring/ line across it? Have you ever in you life given/orders to the morning/or sent the dawn to its post/to grasp the earth by its edges and shake the wicked out of it? Have you an inkling of the extent of/ the earth?/ Tell me about it if you have! Is it your wisdom that-" abruptly, Lindsey broke off.

Angel was staring at him, his expression angry and distinctly unimpressed.

"Ok, I can see you're not buying it." Lindsey sighed. The otherworldly power faded, replaced by his own words with their own power. "Angel, this isn't you. Yes, you were tested and were royally fucked. But this... you can't last like this. You're going to kill yourself and then never get any chance to be with anyone you love ever again. You are only alive when you fight and you care. Even I know that. Yes, what you do is hard, but you do it because something in you drove you to do what was right, not because The Powers That Be told you if you did you may have a shot at humanity some day. You fought because it was in your heart. And the truth is, the Powers need you. We all need you, whether the world realizes or not. God, Angel. Please don't do this. Please comeback."

Angel stared at Lindsey like he had grown another head. "What...?"

Cordelia gasped. "Doyle."

Lindsey looked behind him. The ghost was standing there, gazing up at Angel.

"Come on, man. I died so you could live; don't give up because the Powers messed up. What the Prophet said was right; you fight 'cause it's in your heart. You're just doing them a favor. Do what you need."

"Doyle, I..." Angel began, his voice cracking.

The ghost smiled. "I know, Angel, I know." Then, he faded, leaving the Prophet, the Watcher, the Warrior, and the Seer to stare at one another and wonder what would happen next.

*****
Part 1:

The Beginning: We Hold These Truths

When you are young, you know certain things. You know about vampires and monsters. They are real and you are painfully aware of that fact. You look out for yourself, expecting attack; you know what is under your bed is not imaginary and have the sense to be afraid of what goes bump in the night.

Then, you grow and gradually that knowledge fades. A bump is nothing; it portends no evil: it's just the mundane noises made by the house settling. Vampires become as substantial as Santa Clause and you laugh at the fears you once had.

People lie to themselves. We all walk around, believing we are safe and that the only monsters out there are ourselves. We make up stories and, gifted with incredible imagination and propensity towards self delusion, we believe what we create. Find a loved one's body drained of blood with a wound on the neck and it's either the result of a sick human or a mysterious disease that causes 'neck ruptures'.

Truth is so easy to create. And because of that 'truth' that we create and believe, we are all in danger. It is up to the few disillusioned, the ones who see, to protect the world.

The ones who see, like me, like Liz... and like Angel.

Spring 2006- Present Day

"Angel, look out!"

Hearing Gunn's warning, Angel spun and ducked as the nearest vampire tried to jump him. The vampire missed and hit the ground. Angel quickly pulled his stake and dusted the vamp.

There was a roar from the right. Turning, Angel held out his arm and released the last stake from the device on his forearm. It flew toward the vamp, which neatly flung itself out of the way.

"Is that all you go?" it snarled.

"No," answered Angel, deadpan.

The vamp grinned, took a step forward, then looked down at it's chest. A wooden post was protruding from it.

"That's all I've got," the dark haired vampire quipped.

The vamp burst into dust, revealing a panting Wesley.

"Sorry it took me so long. I was trying to get the girl out of the way." The former Watcher indicated the girl they had just rescued who was watching, wide-eyed, from the car.

Angel nodded and went over to her. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, I think so. Wow, I never expected something like that to happen. Who are you?" she remarked, pushing her red bangs off her face.

"My name is Angel."

She laughed, then stopped, seeing the look on his face. "You aren't serious, are you?"

Angel glanced over at Gunn and Wesley. They both shrugged. Turning back, he said, "Yes, I am. Why?"

"Really, you don't have to impress me."

"Have you heard of me or something? Have I helped a friend of yours?"

"Oh my God, you really are serious. Or, you're just an incredibly obsessed fanboy. But," she looked Angel over, "somehow you don't strike me as the fanboy type. Unless you are a really good actor."

"Is she making no sense to either of you?" asked Gunn pointedly.

"Sorry. It's just... I didn't think the stories were true. You know, The Vampire Hunters?" she tried clarifying on seeing their blank faces. "Still no bells ringing? You've never heard of the series?"

"I take it you are talking about comic books?" ventured Wesley.

"No, I'm not. It's a fiction series that started about three years ago about this girl who's a vampire hunter and her partner. One of the recurring characters is a vampire with a soul named Angel. He and the girl fell in love, but then he... It's a bit involved. The stories have been serialized in this magazine, Underworld Desires, has a huge fan base, even if it is still a bit of a cult thing; there are web sites, merchandise. There's even been talk of a movie. What's surprising about it is that the stories stayed popular even after the subtext became text. It was revolutionary."

"Subtext?" Angel repeated.

The girl eyed Angel doubtfully. "It'll be better if you read it. I don't know if the author knows you or something, but if he does, maybe you better re-examine your relationship with him."

"What's the author's name?"

"He writes under A. LaVelle, but that's not his real name. He's pretty secretive, never lets his face be in any pictures. It's part of his appeal. I'm really sorry I don't know more."

"It's all right. I think we'd better get you home," said Angel.

"Sounds good. Boy, wait until I tell my friends I was rescued by *the* Angel. They'll never believe me." A beat. "Can I get your autograph?"

Angel settled into his chair. In his hands was the edition of "Underworld Desires" that the vampire series first appeared in. The girl had managed to pique his interest in the stories.

A vampire with his name and condition. It was possible one of his enemies had put out stories about him in hopes of harming him somehow, but Angel had a feeling the intent was much more benign.

After reading the introduction, in which the author gave a fairly accurate description of how humans survive in the world and ignore demons, the characters were introduced.

/ /Liz Grey was not like other girls. She was tough, strong, aggressive, beautiful, and trained from the time she was ten years old to hunt and kill vampires.

/ /Most girls would shy away from what she has to do nightly. In fact, most people would, but she never does. Liz accepts her calling with an air of fatality about her. She knows her life won't be long, but she also knows about the dangers out there. It is her duty to stop them.

I was attracted to her from the first. I met Liz when she was sixteen years old. Already, she had lived longer than she had expected to.

"When my father first started hunting vampires, he drew up his will. Two months later he was dead. My mom tried to stop me, but that's when I knew that I would spend my life fighting the evil," Liz, a gorgeous blond woman, confided to me over drinks.

I stared at her in amazement. I was as yet unaware of the reality of nightlife. Like the rest of the world, I had comfortably deluded myself into thinking the monster hiding under my bed was my imagination and not a Kindergast.

My response to her was what one might imagine. "You're kidding, right? Vampires?"

She grinned, flashing me with pearly whites teeth. "Of course I am. But I have been training in martial arts since I was ten, so if you mess with me, I'll kick your ass. Still want that dance?' she finished, her voice suddenly coy and sweet.

"More than ever," was my reply./ /

The rest of the story concerned itself with Lex's introduction into the reality of the night. His best friend was attacked and turned by a vampire. In the final, climatic battle, he slays his best friend only to be caught by two other vampires. Liz is also overpowered, things look bleak and...

//A figured dropped out of the shadows, swooping down like a bird of prey, like an angel of vengeance. He was dressed in black, his coat billowing around him as he fell.

"Angel!" cried Liz.

She began struggling harder, but the vampire holding her grabbed her by her forehead, holding her tightly against his body. Sharp fangs descended on her.

Unable to break free, I could only watch in horror, screaming, "No!" as my new friend met her death.//

*****
Part 2:

Fall 2003

"Hey."

Cordelia looked up from her studying and literally blinked to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was seeing. "Oz?"

He smiled. "Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm good! I'm real good. Going to college now, actually, can you believe it? God, it's great to see you." She hugged him. "I heard about the last time you were in Sunnydale. Are you okay? I mean, with the wolf thing?"

"Actually, I've got that taken care of. Is Angel here?"

"He's upstairs. This guy that we rescued last night was pretty beat up; Angel and Wesley are checking him. What do you mean that you've gotten that taken care of?"

Oz looked down at his shoes for a moment, then back up at her. "I kind of want to tell everyone at once. If you don't mind."

"Not at all. Come on." She led him upstairs.

"So, college. What happened to acting?"

She shrugged. "It's hard to fit it in with the visions and fighting evil. Besides, I really want to help people, besides the one's set on by darkness. So I'm going to be a social worker."

"Wow. Ambition."

The young seer threw him a lopsided grin. "From me, too."

"You always struck me as the ambitious type. It's good to see you channelling them into something other than hair and make-up. You've got depth."

She beamed. "Thank you, Oz." Stopping in front of a door, she knocked gently, the opened it. "Angel?"

"What?"

"Look whose here."

Oz stepped into the room, his eyes taking in everything. Angel sponging the unconscious man on the bed with a wet rag while Wesley checked his pulse.

Oz knew the man.

"Is he all right?" Oz asked, gazing at the unconscious figure. He felt drawn to the bed, his eyes locked on the perfectly chiselled face.

"I think he'll live. What brings you here, Oz?"

Oz didn't appear to hear Angel. He gently touched the man's forehead and traced his face. "Wow; he's beautiful. It didn't notice it last time I saw him... probably because I was being tortured and experimented on, but still... Wow."

"You know him?" Wesley asked, surprised as everyone at Oz's effusive speech.

"Sort of. He was in the Initiative back in Sunnydale. His name is Graham." Oz knew a lot more about the ex-solider, but he didn't say anything.

"Oz?" Angel said again, gently.

"Oh, right. Angel, I'm here to tell you that I am now your local Oracle. If you need a tap into the otherworldly knowledge, I'm your man. But only come for really important questions, because they don't tell me everything. On the other hand, I'll be pretty easy to reach since I'm not going to hang around that dimensional portal chamber all the time, so I should be in town, mostly."

There was a dead silence as the three digested this. They looked at each other, saw that everyone else was just as confuse, then looked back at Oz.

"What?" one of them asked.

"In exchange for being a werewolf. I figured it was fair," he answered. "Listen, I'm kind of tired. Do you have a room I can stay in?"

* * *

"Hey, don't I know you?"

Oz turned. "Sort of. I'm Oz." He stuck his hand out.

"Graham Miller."

"Yea, I know."

Graham looked at Oz in surprise.

"Well, one time the Initiative held me, so I saw you there, but I'm also kinda linked into the Powers that Be, so I know stuff. So I know you."

"Oh." There was a beat, then, "The werewolf?"

"Not anymore."

They stood looking at each other for a moment, silent, but comfortable.

"Want to get something to eat with me?" Oz finally asked.

"Sure."

The boys walked down the kitchen. They could hear Cordelia and Wesley talking in the other room, but were reluctant to call anyone in on their time.

"So, what are your plans?" Oz asked.

The ex-Marine shrugged. "I don't know. I figured I might take off, find something to do."

"Why don't you hang? The gang could always use someone with fighting experience."

"The gang as in Angel, or the gang as in..." Graham looked up towards the heavens.

Oz allowed a small smiled to show. "Both."

"I don't know if they really need me. The military enhanced me, but that's pretty much faded. Everything I have now is regular human strength, not very helpful."

"Your regular human strength is a lot more than mine." Oz gazed at Graham with clear, penetrating eyes. "I think I may need you."

Graham blinked and sat up straighter. "Who's talking now? The man or the link?"

"The man. Maybe both, but the man."

There was a pause before Graham slowly nodded. "Well, I haven't made any real plans. We'll see what happens."

I think I can live with that."

The Oracle and the solider smiled at each other, content for the moment with an uncertain future.

*****
Part 3:

Spring 2006

"I've got the next issue," Wesley announce, entering the Hyperion, waving the magazine over his head.

"What's with the plastic?" Angel questioned, taking the magazine from his friend.

"It's a collectors item. I think I'll track down the girl who told us about them in the first place; maybe she still has all her copies. It'll be cheaper."

Angel rolled his eyes. "We can always tap the Bank of Lindsey McDonald."

Wesley shook his head. "We could, but we won't. Most of his money is going into the shelter and keeping his practice running. A lot of it disappeared when Wolfram and Hart was destroyed. Perhaps you should try the Bank of David Nabbit."

Angel laughed. "Watch, he probably has them all."

"You never know." Angel had been itching to find out what happened next in the story. The Angel character had been introduced but left in a cliffhanger. The real Angel hated cliffhangers. Especially when the next part doesn't come immediately after.

Interlude: Angel

"No!" I screamed, trying to pull away.

The figured Liz had called Angel dusted the vamp holding me. Then he saw Liz about to get drained. Doing a flip over the nearest obstacle, he landed on both Liz and the vampire. Somehow he was able to pull the vamp away from the human warrior and stake him. "Are you all right?" he asked Liz. His voice was low and strong, full of concern.

It made me shiver.

"Yeah, I'm- Look out!"

The man spun and dropped as the vampire attacked from behind.

"Liz!" I shouted, tossing her the crossbow.

She caught it and fired. The vampire burst into dust. "Thanks, Lex. And you too, Angel." When she said his name, her voice was like I'd never heard it before; soft and tender.

His tone matched hers when he answered. "My pleasure. I was afraid I'd be too late, but apparently I got here just in time." He took a step towards her and gently touched her arm.

Feeling embarrassed, jealous, and out of place, I cleared my throat. They both turned to look at me.

"Sorry, Lex. This is Angel. Angel, Lex."

"Hi, Lex." Angel held out his hand, which I took. His grip was strong and sure, hands a little on the cold side, but it was chilly out. I looked up into his face, a little distrustful, but that feeling was based solely on jealousy.

His eyes caught me. They were dark and brown, deep, soulful. It was hard not to get caught in them.

*****
Part 4:

Winter 2004

Wesley paced the floor of his apartment, his stomach tied in knots. Lindsey was in trouble. Cordelia had called him from her cell phone, telling him that she had a vision of the lawyer. She and Angel were on their way to help.

"I want to go too."

"There's no time. This is immediate. The firm is sacrificing five kids and Lindsey's going get caught trying to save them."

"What can I do?"

"Pray and hope the prophet doesn't burn," was the grim answer.

As he had hung up the phone, a sharp pain sliced through his right wrist. Wesley grabbed it, gasping from pain. A moment later, it passed. He shrugged, attributed it to nerves,and began to pace.

"Damn it, Lin, why didn't you call?" Wesley muttered. The only warning given had been Cordelia's vision.

He sat down, then immediately jumped up again, wearing a rut in his floor.

For about three years now, Lindsey had acted as a double agent for The Powers That Be. It was a tense situation, but one the lawyer loved. He worked for Wolfram and Hart, carrying on business as usual, but kept Angel and the others informed of what was happening so they could bring real justice to the guilty. In return, the Powers kept Lindsey's thoughts and intents shielded from the mind readers and mysterious senior partners.

But this time, Lindsey hadn't had enough time to contact Angel. He was forced to expose himself in order to save the children.

And now Wesley had no idea what had happened to him.

"I can't stay here. I need to do something." Hoping that perhaps there was an indication of where they were at the hotel, Wesley jumped on his motorcycl and sped away. He was flooded by emotions he had heretofore ignored or dismissed as well as the intense desire to be with Lindsey in his moment of peril.

"Wesley, what are you doing here?" Graham asked, emerging from the kitchen.

"I need to find out where they are. I have to help. God damn it! Didn't she write down where she was going?"

"Cordelia? She was leaving school when she got the vision and called Angel. He took off without saying where Lindsey was." The solider paused. "I'm supposed to keep you away. They didn't tell me where, just in case I cracked."

"Where's Oz? Perhaps he knows."

Graham shrugged. "Called away on official duty. It might have something to do with Lindsey, but he didn't say. I know about as much as you."

Wesley sighed and sat down. "I hate waiting."

The former solider sat next to him. "They say it's the hardest part." There was a pause as Graham considered what to say. "You seem very worried. I didn't realize you and Lindsey were together."

"We're not."

"Oh." A beat. "Do you realize that?"

Wesley laughed helplessly. "I just realized tonight how much I love him. It took me this long and I know when I fell."

"When?"

"When he became a prophet three years ago. I touched him and felt... but I thought it was due to the power filling him; I convinced myself that it wasn't anything but that. I lied to myself." Wesley sighed. "Why couldn't I have been like you and Oz and known right away?"

"Because you thought you were in love with Angel."

"Right," the former Watcher sighed. "I thought I was in love with Angel."

"Ok, that's not exactly what I was hoping to here just now."

Wesley's head snapped up. "Lindsey!"

For a moment the two men looked at each other. Wesely walked slowly towards Lindsey, running his eyes over the lawyer to make sure he was all right.

"Your hand."

Lindsey raised his right hand. The prostetic hand was gone, replaced by a real, flesh and blood member. "The demon did it. Something about being touched by a Warrior of the light; he needed me whole, or something. You know, before he tried to kill me." He grinned, then his face grew serious. "Listen, Wesley, I know I've never said anything, but . . ."

Before Lindsey could finish, Wesley had wrapped his arms around him and claimed his lips. No more words were needed.

*****
Part 5:

The Vampire Hunters: Angel's Secret

"A vampire," I said, my voice full of disgust.

"Yeah," Angel answered. "And let me guess, there was something about me you didn't like from the start. You just knew I was evil in some way and part of you thought that I just might be a vampire." He sneered at me.

I wanted to tell him that he was right. I wanted to declare that the moment I first saw him I realize he was more than he appeared. I wanted to confirm his suspicions and slay him, ridding him from my life forever.

But I didn't.

"What was your game? Pretend to love her so you could kill her? Toy with her until she is forced to betray all she believes in?"

"Maybe. If you cracked open a book you might see all the fun things I've done over the years to women. Maybe that's what I was going to do all along."

"I know you want to hear me say I knew it," I told him. "You would be thrilled if in this moment I flaunted my superiority. But I can't. I don't like you, no, but I thought you were honest, at least. I thought you were human. If you kill me, she will get you; I know that."

The vampire bounded over to me. I kicked him, but he caught my leg and threw me to the ground. Holding me down, he leaned over, lips to my ear, "Soon, boy, and with great pleasure." Then he was gone, leaving me, heart pounding, shaking on the ground.

Present Day- 2006

"You never threatened any of Buffy's friends like that, did you, Angel?" Wesley asked after reading the passage.

"No, I didn't. I don't think. Not with my soul at any rate."

"Well, then, perhaps the author doesn't know after all."

Cordelia snorted. "Right, he just happened to make up a 200 year old vampire with a soul in love with a blond woman that kills vampires. Lucky guess if you ask me."

The former watcher made a face at her. "I meant, it's possible that he read the correct books that spoke about Angelus, read other stories about Slayers and came to his own conclusions. After all, Angel is the only recognizable character. Even this Liz is not exactly Buffy."

"No, she's not Buffy completely, but she's got parts of Buffy in her," Angel broke in. "In fact, all of the characters seem to be a combination of all the old gang. Stewart, the warlock introduced in the third issue, reminds me of Giles, Oz, and even a bit of Spike. His wife, Ali is both Willow and Cordelia-esque. And Lex reminds me of Oz, Xander, Spike, and Willow. But then, there aren't many specific references to anything that any of them did that would be unique to just them."

"Well, Ali is a Wicca. Willow was Wicca heavy," pointed out Cordelia.

"But she's hardly the only young woman in the world who is Wiccan. Angel does have a point; it's just... well, you're in it, Angel."

"I think we may be looking at a case of poetic license. I'd guess that A. LaVelle thought it worked better like this, instead of what really, trulyhappened. It is a good story." The vampire sat back and picked the magazine up again. "No picture of the author. Have you found anything anywhere? I know the girl said he always hides his face, but you would think there would be something somewhere."

Cordelia replied, "Nothing. I spoke to a fan down at the store where I bought those, and apparently, A. LaVelle tries very hard to keep his identity a secret. If you were to meet him face to face and ask him straight out, rumour is that he'd admit to being the author, but you have to find him first."

"I wonder why he's so secretive," Angel mused.

Wesley sat next to Angel, deep in thought. "Perhaps he simply doesn't want to be found by you."

"Why not? I won't do anything to him; I don't care, really."

"Well, the girl said that the subtext became text."

"And that means what?" Cordelia prompted.

"Well, often times in popular shows, some fans believe they can pick up certain subtext between characters on shows. When the couples are of the opposite sex, the population at large will enthusiastically declare that it is sexual tension. There are many people out there who write their own fiction based on this subtext. For example, if we were a show, there would be stories out there about you, Cordelia, and Angel, for example, having some sort of affair."

Cordelia glanced at Angel with her 'ick' face. "I'd sooner sleep with Lindsey," she said, her voice light and teasing.

"Aren't you?" Angel answered back in a similar tone. "Gunn said..."

"How many times do I have to tell everyone, we fell asleep, we did not sleep together! God, you'd think we were the first people in the world to sleep at the office. Wesley believes me, don't you Wes?

"Only because he spent many hours trying to convince me that it was what it appeared and nothing else. "

"And I am sure those hours were painful to you."

"Quite, actually, but in a good way."

"Okay, to much info there, Wes, but thanks for sharing. Anyway, Liz and Angel are having and affair in the fic, sort of. So what does that have to do with anything?"

Wesley tilted his head and took off his glasses. "Yes, but I'm not talking about Liz and Angel. There is another form of fan fiction out there termed 'slash fiction'. This type takes two people of the same sex and puts them in a sexual relationship. While there are many reasons given for the phenomena, one is that some fans do see the relationship there. They look at the material given to them and read some sort of sexual intimacy, power, commitment, etcetera in the text, the create their own. In this case, if the subtext became text..." he trailed off.

"Then fans saw a sub-textual relationship between Lex and Angel that the writer later brought it into the canon?" Angel hazarded.

Wesley's eyes were clear and penetrating. "Yes, that is exactly what I am suggesting. And that may be why the author does not want to be found. Perhaps he is afraid what you would do after reading a character based on you having a sexual relationship with another man."

"Why would he think I care?"

"Maybe he doesn't know you so he thinks you'd be angry. You are a vampire and not everyone knows that you'd rather sit and brood than bang some guys head against the wall for calling you gay," answered Cordelia.

But Wesley looked meaningfully at Angel and the dark haired vampire abruptly understood.

"Tell Gunn he can stop looking for A. LaVelle, Cordy. When I want to find him, I'll try on my own."

"Why don't you want to find him now?"

Angel opened the magazine and flipped to the story. "I want to find out exactly what happens in the text."

*****
Part 6:

Interlude: Angel, Lost Soul.

//"He what?" I demanded, shaken.

Liz, tears still streaming down her face, couldn't meet my eyes. "He lost his soul. He's reverted back to a vampire, the evil kind."

"How did that happen?" Ali asked gently.

"I don't know! We, we made love and then the next morning he tried to kill me."

"I think I know why," Stewart broke in.

We all looked at him expectantly.

"The spell used to ensoul Angel was intended to be a curse. Being with you made him happy. I think that the moment of true happiness with you caused the curse to be broken and therefore he reverted to form."//

Angel read through this, finding it surprisingly embarrassing, although he wasn't sure why. Everyone in his family knew why he had lost his soul, but he found it disconcerting that the general public now knew as well. Nevertheless, he read on.

What was written next caused him to sit up; if his heart beat, it would have been pounding.

//According to the book, if the cursed vampire achieves true happiness on the anniversary that he received his soul, the soul will be cast out of the body. The book says that any other night, the soul is a permanent resident of the vampire, unshakable and firm; but on the anniversary of the curse, everything is in flux so it is possible to lose it. That means that Deadboy could have had a really good ice cream, been happy, and lost his soul over that, too.

But I can't tell Liz. She'll insist that Stewart perform the spell again, bringing Angel back. I don't think I can handle him being back. He's not good for Liz - he distracts her too much.//

Could it be true?

Summer 2002

"What the hell were you thinking?" Angel demanded, throwing Spike against his crypt. "I come back for the witch's wedding, expecting it to be hard, but wanting to make Willow happy and I find you fucking Buffy? My Buffy? Did you think I wouldn't find out? Huh? Are you toying with her? Fucking around with her mind?"

"No, I-"

"Shut up!" Angel kicked Spike in the stomach, his rage boiling over. He lifted his errant childe up and punched him. "You are dead, boy."

"Good!" Spike screamed.

Angel stopped, surprised.

"Just kill me already! Do it! Finish what you bloody started. Just do it, please." The blond vamp begged Angel with eyes full of tears as he choked back sobs.

Angel let him go. "What do you mean?"

"Aren't you going to kill me?"

"Not until you tell me. What did you mean by that?"

"Fuck you, Angel."

Angel pulled Spike to his feet and held him close. "Tell me."

Glaring, Spike unwillingly bowed to his sire's demand. "You left me. You practically killed me when you left. I had no idea where you were or what had happened. Then she said you weren't coming back an' it was all my fault. I wanted to die."

"How was it your fault?"

"I killed the gypsy's family." Spike's voice cracked when he said this, but he kept his composure. "She was using them as a bribe and I killed them."

The dark haired vampire was at a loss for words "I didn't know. I thought..."

"You thought what?" Spike challenged, glaring up at Angel through a film of tears.

"I thought I would disgust you. I thought you would reject me like Darla did."

"You were my sire, you fucking poof! You did everything for me! You taught me to hunt, to kill, to take pleasure in this unlife. You were the one I loved, that I needed, that I bloody worshiped. After you left, she tried to make me into you, but I couldn't. I tried so hard, but I couldn't do it. An' when you came back then left again, you just about killed me. So, I left, took Drusilla, devoted myself to her. I tried to find you in her and lose myself there, but I never could. Damn you." Spike pulled away and sat on the ground, hiding his face.

Angel tentatively sat next to Spike. He could tell his childe was humiliated by his show of emotion, and Angel was determined not to embarrass him furthur. "Is that what you're doing with Buffy now?"

Spike sighed and shook his head. "Maybe at first, but no, not now. I love her, Angel, I really do. I'd do anything for her. The witches neutralized my chip last year; I can hurt people, but I won't for her. Please don't take her away." He raised his head, his eyes proud, yet pleading.

"I won't." Angel tentatively put his hand on Spike's shoulder. "I love you, Will. I'm sorry I left."

For a long moment, Spike did nothing. Angel was about to leave, stung by the rejection. Suddenly, Spike leaned over and pressed a kiss on Angel's lips. "I hate going against my nature but if there's one thing being with Buffy had taught me, it's how to forgive. And you're my sire. Nothing changes that, soul or no soul." He sighed. "I'm still angry and I still think you're planning something, but," Spike paused. "I forgive you. I suppose."

*****
Part 7:

Present Day

"Spike?"

"Peaches?" Spikes incredulous voice drifted over the line.

Angel smiled at the old nickname that had long since ceased to be truly derogatory. He leaned against the wall. "That's right, my boy. How are you?'

"Good, I guess. You?"

"I'm fine."

"So, do what do I owe the honor of your call?"

"Can't I just call to see how my favorite childe my ex-girlfriend are doing?"

"No."

The dark haired vampire managed to stop his laughter before Spike heard him. Spike still tended to be anxious when Angel called out of the blue, no matter how close they were these days.

"I need you to remember something for me."

"What?"

"Do you remember the date of I was cursed?"

"The day you were born," Spike answered promptly.

"Spike."

Spike sighed. "I don't know. Sometime in the winter. After Christmas," he said vaguely.

Angel detected the hurt in his childe's voice. "How many times to I have to apologize to you, Will? I know I shouldn't have left you. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it's fine," the vampire answered, his voice indicating it was anything but. "Look, Buffy's calling me. I need to go."

"Tell her I said hi."

"Yeah. And Angel?"

"Yes?"

Spike supplied him the date then hung up quickly.

It was the same day as Buffy's birthday. Angel sighed. He and Spike had reconciled. It was hard; there were years of anger and resentment built up between the two vampires. Then there was Angel's lack of trust of Spike's motives and Spike's lack of trust that Angel was really letting him have Buffy. Still, Angel knew his childe's capacity to love, so in the end he approved of Buffy and Spike being together. The wedding had been the last time he had seen Xander. The boy's girlfriend had died, leaving him with a perpetual look of sadness. Angel had tried to talk to him, but Xander repeatedly rebuffed the vampire's attempts.

Surprisingly, it hurt. He and the boy had always had a tense relationship, but this was different. Xander had been pushing everyone away, erecting a wall.

Angel had wanted to destroy that wall and bring joy to the boy's eyes. He had begun to experience feelings he had been unaware of before. And he was rejected.

Which was why he was so interested in what would happen between Lex and the story Angel.

*****
Part 8:

Interlude: I Was Right, Right?

I ran out into the rain, my mind in a whirl. I had done the right thing, right? We needed to kill him in order to save the world. It didn't matter that Ali had done the spell, it didn't. What was important was the world was saved. I didn't tell Liz because she had a job to do. If I'd have told her, we might be dead.

Then why do I feel so bad?

I find myself at the place where he died. Liz is gone; she won't speak to me anymore. Ali and Stewart are backing her up.

I am alone.

"I'm sorry," I choke out through my tears. "I did what I had to. God, Angel, you didn't deserve to be sent to hell, I know you didn't, but it was the only way. If she had thought for a moment it was you and not the demon, she would have hesitated and we'd be dead. It had to be this way. It had to. Angel, I'm so sorry."

I prayed over the spot where he died. I prayed every night that summer. I prayed for the innocent man suffering in hell, for the man my best friend loved, for the man whose side I had fought by.

I prayed for his return, for his release, for his soul. And for his forgiveness.

Present Day- Late Spring

"Do you think you know who it is?"

"Yes," Angel answered, lying on his back, gazing up at the stars from the roof of the Hyperion.

Wesley sighed and rolled over onto his side. "What are you going to do?"

Angel was quiet for a moment. "I'll finish reading the stories, then decide. It's still all subtext, you know. I want to find out what happens."

"You know, it is possible that what is written has nothing to do with what the author feels for you." The former watcher's voice sounded guarded and edgy suddenly.

"Afraid I won't love you anymore if I find him?" Angel asked with a smile in his voice.

"Of course you will still love me," Wesley said back, making his voice sound hurt. "You promised to love me until I died. Then you dumped me. Remember?"

"I remember saying I'd love you till you died, then you tempted death by dumping me. I don't know where you got this idea that I ended the relationship."

"Well, whoever decided to end it, there was definably ice cream involved."

"And good-bye sex," Angel added. He furrowed his brow in thought. "Jesus, has it really been three years?"

"Since the good-bye sex or the ice cream? Because we had one of those last week."

"Sex, Wes. Ice cream never takes precedent over sex."

Wesley mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like an insult, causingAngel to lightly hit him.

"Don't hit me, I am trying to relax. I've got a head-ache, remember?"

"You say that every time we talk about our relationship."

"Or lack thereof," Wesley corrected. "Although, our friendship did survive intact, so I suppose it was worth it. Anyway, how did we get on this subject again?"

"We were talking about A. LaVelle."

"Ah, yes, the author. How would you feel if this young man were in love with you?"

"I don't know," Angel lied.

Wesley rolled onto his back. "I hate liars."

"But you love me."

"Yes. You are the exception."

*****