A sudden ringing shout followed by a loud *thump-crunch* yanked Alex out of his morbid and depressed thoughts. Looking around with a startled expression on his face, he had found to his chagrin that he had unconsciously wandered into the very heart of one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. Silently, he berated himself seven kinds of fool for blithely taking a stroll at night without watching where he was going.

Studying his surroundings more closely, he realized that he was in what he had come to think of as "Spike's Cemetery" and wondered briefly what it was like to *not* be so familiar with all of the town's bone-yards that it only took a half minute of waking up in one to know exactly where you were. That fact that he *could* would probably excite some psychiatrist somewhere.

The sounds of fighting drew closer and Xander reached into the back waistband of his jeans and pulled out his stake. Moving as slowly and as quietly as he could, he began to edge his way around a big thick bush. Suddenly, he heard Spike's sharply accented voice call out a taunting insult. "What kind of demon do you call yourself anyway? Bit of a bloody wanker, if you ask me." That was shortly followed by a billowing cloud of ash.

Icy cold dread washed down Alex's spine and a flare of white hot panic flashed in his head as his imagination supplied him with the image of Spike being staked through the heart. With an anguished cry of rage and denial, Alex leaped out from the bush to see a tall thin demon coated in horribly bright green slime that had the added bonus of a terrible stench. He had three vampires with him and they were in a ring around... *Spike*!

All of the bad nasties had turned to look his way at his shout, but that was okay with him. Spike wasn't ash. He was still standing there in all his annoying and British glory, looking at him as if he'd gone mad. Then, with an unconcerned shrug, Spike jumped on top of the big slimy demon and began ripping and clawing for all he was worth.

One of the vampires went to go and try to pull Spike off of it's slimy master, but the other two began to flank Alex. He felt his heart rate speed up and, oddly enough, his panic levels drop. Apparently, the two minions were expecting him to give a frightened yell and then try and run off, because they just paused to goggle at him when all he did was grin wickedly and gesture at them to bring it on.

"Come to Alex, you stupid little blood-sucking fiends. Alex makes *everyone* go poof."

Impatient with their bewilderment, Alex darted forward, fainting to the left, then at the last moment, he dodged right and spun, the hand gripping the stake shooting out towards an unguarded chest. Slam! Poof! One vampire turned into a cloud of dust on the wind with two left to go.

"Okay, Who's next?"

The vampire not fighting with Spike and the slime demon was angered at the destruction of another of it's fellows. He leapt up and grabbed Alex from behind before tossing him high into the air. Alex came down with a painful jolt to his left shoulder against a granite tombstone. The breath whooshed out of his lungs, even as he rolled with the jarring landing. Popping back up onto his feet three feet away, Alex held his injured arm tightly to his side and offered up a truly evil smile to the remaining vampire.

Pain throbbed through him and danger surrounded him. His blood was slamming through his veins and the very air crackled with violence and bloodlust. Alex drank it all in like nectar. Red hot fuzziness descended upon his higher brain functions and he was lost in a swirling haze of pure mindless slaughter. Death was not something he feared and pain was only fuel on the fire. He could now see with cruel clarity just what it was that had been bothering him earlier, but now, it was no longer a concern.

With an enraged cry, Alex leapt back into the fray. Thrusting his good arm out to the side to act as a counter-weight, he kicked out with his foot. He felt the jarring impact against the vampire attacking Spike from behind down the entire length of his leg. The minion went flying through the air. Twisting around on the balls of his feet, he was just in time to see the vampire that had thrown him charge back into him. They both went down in a tumble, and when Alex found himself pinned to the ground, he thrust up with his stake in a move he had virtually perfected over the years. Slam! Poof! Ash and dust rained down on his face and into his hair.

"Bye-bye Mr. Pointy Teeth. Hope you enjoy your stay in Hell."

Pushing himself to his feet again, Alex wobbled for a minute as he attempted to draw in a deep breath of clean clear vampire-dust free air. Turning, he saw the vampire he had kicked away charging back towards him.

"Oh shit. This is sooo not of the good."

Quickly, he tried to brace himself for the blow, but he didn't have time. In a blur of glowing yellow eyes and snapping teeth, two inhumanly strong hands gripped him by the shoulders, yanked him up off of his feet and plowed him backwards five feet into the solid trunk of an old oak tree.

The breath whooshed out of his lungs once more with a loud 'Oomph' and his stake fell from nerveless fingers. Little black spots danced in front of his eyes for a moment and then he had half a second to realize that the big ugly vampire was getting ready to feast on him. A sizzle of adrenaline laced fear shot up his spine and he reacted on blind instinct alone. Not stopping to consider the pain, Alex slammed his forehead against the ridged brow of the vampire.

Sparkling lights flashed in his head, but that was okay because, he heard a loud satisfying *crunch* and then a splash of luke-warm blood sprinkled his face even as the rough hands holding his shoulders let go. Sliding down onto the grass, Alex fumbled for his stake blindly.

"You little shit! You *broke* my *nose*! I'll kill you for that!"

The vampire lunged down to him just as his fingers closed around the familiar piece of wood. Slam! Poof!

"Wrong answer. Nice try though, thanks for playing. Please feel free to enjoy our lovely parting gift."

Standing up slowly while brushing the latest layer of ash from his shirt, Alex looked around for Spike and the icky slime demon. He didn't see them, but he could hear them. Snarling, growling and Spike's own special brand of British wittiness came from behind a large grey stone mausoleum. Totally ignoring his many bruises and scrapes as well as the fact that he now sported a slight limp, Alex gripped his stake tighter and made his way over to where he could here the two demons fighting.

He peered around the edge of the cold stone crypt just in time to see Spike toss the icky slime demon over a row of headstones and into the defaced statue of what had once been a winged angel. Then, yelling what sounded like 'bloody death to all slimy wankers', the bleached blonde vampire leapt over the nearest grave marker and ran over to his opponent. As the demon scrambled up onto his hands and knees, Spike kicked him in the ribs.

Alex couldn't help but smirk evilly at the sight. Spike may very well be the biggest jerk on the Hellmouth, but *damn* was he an amazing street fighter.

Spike stepped behind the slime demon even as Alex walked out of the shadows. The blonde grabbed the disgusting creature by the back of his head with one hand and around his neck with the other. With one inhumanly strong *heave*, he pulled the demon up onto his knees, his back flush against Spike's chest. Not one to miss an opportunity, Alex dashed forward, stake at the ready.

Slam! *goosh* *ooze*

Alex's stake was firmly implanted into the creature's chest, right where it's heart should be. Unlike a vampire, which explodes into a shower of dust, this... *thing* bled a dark green icor. A *smelly* dark green icor that was currently dripping down the stake and all over Alex's hand. Curling his lip up in an expression of grossed out horror, he yanked the weapon back out with a wet sucking sound.

"Ahhhh! *Eeeewwww*! So nasty, so nasty, oh way way *way* too nasty for words!"

Ignoring the sharp sounding *crunch* as Spike snapped the slime demon's neck, Alex dropped to the ground and began to franticly try and wipe the green goo off of his hand in the grass. It wasn't until Spike had tossed the carcass away and began to spout his own brand of eloquence that Alex finally gave up his efforts.

"Oh Bloody Hell! That's just effin' *great*! Look at me! I've been bloody *slimed* by a big ugly snot monster!"

Alex looked over at his companion to see that, indeed, Spike had been slimed. His rough contact with the slime demon had left smears and trails of the clinging gooey stuff all over his leather duster, his t-shirt and his jeans. It wasn't *quite* as gross as the thing's blood, but it was bad enough. With a sneer of disgust, Spike tore off his jacket and flung it to the ground. Alex smirked.

"What's so bloody funny? Do you realize how much dosh it takes to get that jacket cleaned? Do you? It's bloody expensive."

The blonde then gestured to the slime coating his t-shirt with minor horror.

"And this? Do you see this? Ruined my favorite shirt, it did!"

With a snarl, Spike peeled the black t-shirt up and over his head. Turning, he pitched it towards the dead demon's body.

"I'm *glad* you're effin' dead! Stupid snot factory on legs."

With his bloodstream liberally laced with adrenaline and the excitement of the fight still making his heart race in his chest and the blood pound through his veins, Alex tuned out Spike's words and just stared hungrily at his suddenly bare back. Ivory skin laid over tight muscles that moved with liquid grace dazzled his eyes and he could feel his body begin to channel all of his built up energy down towards his groin. The blonde vampire turned around again, still in gameface, and the harsh moonlight made the rippling muscles in his chest seem to glow. Alex's mouth went dry and lust surged through him.

The dark corner of his mind that had been making plans of what he could do to the chipped vampire while he had been making love to his twin began throwing image upon image at him. Entwined limbs. Violent kisses. Brutal thrusts. Painful tightness. Alex felt his cock fill with blood as it grew and lengthened. A sudden hand gripping his shoulder and giving him a rough shake pulled him out of his thoughts. He sneered up and saw a smirking Spike gazing at him with golden eyes.

"What? The nasty demon knocked you daft, did it?"

With a smirk of his own, Alex brushed off the hand and launched himself at Spike. Grabbing the vampire's shoulder in a crushing grip, he spun him around and flung him towards the row of headstones over to their right.

"Hey now! No staking the helpless chipped vampire, right? S'not like *I* can bite you or anything."

A dark husky chuckle escaped Alex's lips before they twisted up into a cruel version of his normally open smile. With a huge lunge, he latched onto Spike again and shoved him forward so that he was half-bent over a tall tombstone. Gripping him tightly at the back of his neck with one hand, Alex dragged the fingernails of the other down the blonde's back, leaving four bright red scratches in his wake. Then, with a quick move, he wrapped the arm around Spike's waist and grabbed a handful of Spike's crotch and squeezed gently.

"Oh... I'm gonna 'stake' you all right. But I promise... you're gonna *like* it bleach-boy."

"Bloody Pillocks!"

Alex chuckled again. Gripping a bit tighter on the vampire's neck, he began working at undoing his belt with one hand. It was a little difficult, but it didn't take him too long. Then, he attacked the button and zipper. He yanked Spike's jeans down and then went to work on his own.

Freeing his hot and heavy cock, Alex fisted the shaft once and then paused as a thought hit him. He nearly groaned.

"Fuck! *Lube!* I don't have any damn lube, and I'll take you *dry* before I even *think* of using any of that gross *slime*!"

A slight shiver worked it's way down Spike's spine accompanied by what *might* have been a soft breathy whimper. Instead of using Alex's distraction to try and get away however, the blonde brought his own arm up to his face and bit down. *Hard*. Then, he twisted slightly so that Alex could easily reach the now injured arm.

"Here. Use this."

Alex looked and saw that Spike had literally bitten himself hard enough to make himself bleed. He *did* groan then, but it was a deep dark sound of lust and need and things best left unspoken. Without arguing or even hesitating, the dark haired mortal reached up and wiped up the dripping vampire blood into the palm of his hand. Reaching down, he liberally coated his straining erection with the cool sticky substance.

Alex used the remainder of the blood to coat Spike's opening. He thrust one finger in and began to quickly loosen and open the strong muscles. Unlike with Xander, with whom he had been gentle and careful, Alex was now rough and he didn't so much coax the muscles into giving way and he *forced* them to.

Finally, pushed beyond his capacity to wait, he pulled out his fingers and lined his cock up to Spike's opening. He gripped the slim hips tightly and then he *thrust* inside. One smooth powerful lunge and he was buried balls deep into the tight cool *wonderful* sheath of Spike's body. The inhumanly strong muscles lining the walls of Spike's insides quivered and spasmed around him and Alex tipped back his head and gasped for desperately needed air.

"Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh... *Spike* how can sum'thin' *so* evil feel so *good*?"

A harsh breathy chuckle was his only answer as Spike shifted slightly and then pushed back onto his erection, shoving him in just a fraction more. They both groaned at the sensation.

Blinding white pleasure raced from his balls, up his spine and into his over-taxed mind. His hands *squeezed* down on Spike's hips in a bruising crush even as he trembled with dark eyes clenched tight. Spike was *so* very very tight and wonderful and oddly *cool* which was erotic and sexy even as it made his skin crawl. It was *wrong* on so many levels but it was also so exquisite and wild and suddenly the expression 'Dancing on thin ice' came into his mind and he realized that was what he was doing. He was courting death and it was turning him on fiercely.

A surge of raw greedy lust washed over him and there was no gentle tenderness, no sweet passion or desire for softness. Just this aching *need* and roaring *hunger* that would not be denied any longer and so he pulled back ever so slowly and then he *slammed* deep into Spike. The blonde vampire arched into his violent thrust and a low husky moan escaped his lips and it was like fuel on the flame of Alex's lust.

He pulled back slowly and he thrust back in *slam* again *slam* and again *slam* and again. The tight muscles of Spike's body quivered around him as the vampire clawed at the headstone he leaned on, crumbling it's sharp edges and cracking it's polished surface with his strength.

And Alex didn't *care* that he was fucking a demon, riding it raw and violently in public beneath the stars and the moon and God above. Only *his* pleasure and *his* domination mattered to him. Pleasure he *took* from Spike. Because Spike couldn't fight him off or stop him. It didn't matter that Spike *enjoyed* it, that he was also getting pleasure from this, because the chipped vampire didn't really have any *choice* about it. Only *Alex* did and that made him feel a wash of power and strength and control that he had rarely enjoyed in his life. And he *liked* that feeling. Even more so than the sensation of cool flesh rippling around his thrusting and straining cock.

And he suddenly realized that he was whispering a word over and over and over again. Just one word hissed into the pale shell of ear beneath bleached blonde hair. "Mine." A mantra completely timed to his thrusting erection.

*slam* "Mine."

*slam* "Mine."

*slam* "Mine."

As soon as he was aware of what he was saying and who he was saying it to, his pleasure spiraled out of control and his orgasm was suddenly *here*. His vision blurred as he leaned down, growled out a low voiced "*MINE*" one last time and then *bit* Spike on the back of his shoulder hard enough to draw bright red spicy blood into his hot mouth. As soon as his teeth split open that pale flesh, Spike threw back his head with a ear-ringing *howl* and came all over the cracked surface of the headstone.

*****
Part 10:

Alex jerked awake when he heard the front door slam. A deep pain filled groan was torn from him as sore and battered muscles flinched and tensed up into tight knots. Then, he heard Xander's and Anya's voices as they chattered back and forth. He sighed and tried to relax his muscles. No go, he ached.

Badly.

With a sigh of resignation, he shoved the blankets aside and pushed himself into a sitting position. And winced. His ribs throbbed painfully and he was sure a few were cracked. His left hip and knee burned, most likely a pulled muscle and possibly a ligament too. His forehead had a big lump on it from when he'd broken the one vamp's nose by headbutting him and he was afraid that he'd strained his shoulder from getting tossed against a headstone. At least it wasn't dislocated.

The energetic and rough sex he'd had with Spike after the fight and then the long walk home had only irritated his injuries, however, Alex wouldn't have traded that hot fucking of Spike's tight ass for all the aspirin in the world. He grinned through his pain at the memory.

The voices in the kitchen got a bit louder and served to pull him back into the present. He shifted towards the edge of the bed and gasped. He tried to stretch lightly, to ease back some of the tight tension in his sore muscles. It didn't work. He felt as if he had gone a few rounds with some preternaturally strong demons, which was appropriate, since he had.

Moving slowly and stiffly, he was able to swing his legs over the side of the bed. Biting down on his bottom lip to hold back a whimper of pain, Alex pulled himself up into a standing position. He couldn't prevent the self-depreciating smirk that crossed his face. He felt as if he was moving like an 85 year old man. Leaning heavily on the edge of the chest of drawers, Alex carefully made his way across their bedroom and towards the door to the living room. He was especially careful not to take deep breaths. His ribs couldn't handle it.

As soon as he opened the bedroom door, bright light and cheerful happy voices washed over him above the rustling and crinkling noise of stuff being pulled out of plastic bags. His rueful smirk melted into a truly delighted grin, despite his discomfort. His twin was laughing at something their girlfriend had said. His home was filled with the sounds of love and light and life. There was no angry bitter drunks stomping over their head's like an evil cloud of gloom and doom. Briefly, Alex wondered if this wonderful feeling of peace and safety would stop feeling odd, if he would eventually come to take it for granted and no longer appreciate it. He hoped not.

Leaning against the wall for support, Alex hobbled and limped towards the bright light coming from the kitchen. When he reached the counter that separated the cook area from the living room, he leaned on it silently and watched with a grin as Anya and Xander tried to find the best place for the cereal and the canned goods.

Then Anya turned around, saw him, and dropped a can of chicken noodle soup in shock.

"Oh my God! Alex! What in the name of the Hellmouth happened to you?!?"

"Wha..."

Xander had turned around and stopped, stunned, his mouth dropping open in shock. Then, with an audible click, he snapped his jaws shut and put the box of cereal on the counter. Walking over swiftly, he pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and then took Alex gently by the elbow. Offering support, he helped Alex to lower himself onto the chair.

"Alex... my soul. What happened? What can I do to help?"

Alex reached up slowly with his good arm and brushed his fingertips along Xander's cheek.

"Tell you two what. Anya can put the stuff away. You can wrap up my ribs, I think some might be cracked. Oh, and my shoulder too. And I'll tell you both what happened."

~~~

Alex sat at the kitchen counter in his boxers feeling sleepy, sore and rumpled as he watched his twin bustling around trying to fix them both a hot filling breakfast. Xander was unusually silent and a thoughtful look was etched onto his handsome face. Alex just sat there, enchanted by the calm and domesticated feeling of such a simple and normal thing. Yet, it was something that had not been a part of his life until now. Breakfast at his parents house had been hastily eaten cold pop-tarts while trying to figure out the fastest way *out*. Alex felt as if he could sit here and watch Xander forever and never tire of it.

Xander stirred the scrambled eggs a bit and then went to go get the toast as it popped up. Bacon sizzled in the one fry pan that had been bought yesterday. Orange juice was poured into two glasses. And still Xander stayed quiet.

Finally, everything was done and on plates and Xander was coming over to the small table with them. Alex waited until his twin had placed both plates and both glasses on the table and then sat down before he broke into Xander's introspection.

"So..."

Xander glanced up, his mouth full of eggs and stopped chewing. His dark eyes were wide in startlement for a moment and then they darkened even more and he glanced away, swallowing hastily.

"Xan? What? Come on... it's *me*. Spill."

Xander nodded once and then turned to look at Alex. His eyes were faintly hurt and worried.

"Um. Last night. When I taped up your ribs and you told us about the fight and all. Well, you whispered something about telling me the rest when Anya wasn't around and then you didn't say anything this morning and I just thought that maybe you changed your mind and didn't want to tell me anymore, which is fine, but I... Um. I was just wondering if it was because you were upset or if it was something, you know, really bad or..."

"Xan! Woah, slow down."

Alex held up his good arm palm out to try and halt the nervous babbling. Xander nodded once and then looked down at his runny eggs. With a soft sigh, Alex reached out across the table and entwined his fingers with his twin's, squeezing gently. He waited until his lover looked up into his eyes.

"Xan. I'm *not* upset. Not with you. Never with you. I honestly didn't even think about it. I was too busy watching you fix us breakfast and thinking happy thoughts about us living here in our own apartment and not being stuck in the basement of *that house* anymore."

The last part came out with a bit more scorn than he meant, so Alex took a deep breath and tried again. Smiling gently at his twin, he continued.

"The thing I left out had nothing to do with *you* hearing it. I just didn't think *Anya* would understand."

He waited until Xander nodded. Then, taking a deep breath, he continued.

"See... after the fight and the demons were all dead, I was all... hyped up. You know, all adrenaline and energy and "Yea, I'm alive" vibes. The works. So... I sort of... threw Spike over a headstone and then I..."

Xander lifted one dark eyebrow up at him and gestured for him to continue. The slightly naughtily grin gracing his soft full lips and the twinkle in his chocolate eyes let Alex know that Xander had figured out where Alex was going with this.

"Well, to be a bit on the blunt side, I ripped his pants down and rode his ass hard and deep."

Alex's cock twitched at the memory of that amazingly tight and cool channel. Xander looked like his wanted to goggle at him, giggle at him and demand more details all at once. Xander's eyes went almost black and his cheeks flushed a light pink even as he shifted in his chair. Alex smirked. He *knew* the signs of a sudden erection when he saw one.

"Was..."

Xander's voice croaked and he had to clear it and try again.

"Was it good? I mean, what was it like? Did he just *let* you, or..."

Alex chuckled and squeezed Xander's fingers once lightly before letting go and grabbing up his fork. He speared a piece of egg.

"Good? No, it was... *great*. *So* tight... and cool. *You* are this burning hot sweaty powerhouse in bed, but Spike's... not *cold*, but definitely not human. I mean, I know that he can *look* sorta human, but he doesn't *feel* human, so that's a little strange... but wild too. All that strength and power just *writhing* under you. *Amazing*."

Alex paused a moment as he looked over his twin's flushed and aroused face. Then, quirking one eyebrow up, he shoved the piece of egg into his mouth and spoke around it.

"You should try it sometime. You'd love it."

Alex only had a seconds warning and then Xander choked and sprayed orange juice all over him and his breakfast.

~~~

Giles had fussed over Alex even as he admonished him about going off into the cemetery at night without Buffy. Alex gracefully admitted that he had been wrong and promised to be more careful in the future. Giles had praised Xander on how he had treated the injuries and then distracted himself by going off on a tangent of everyone in the Scooby Gang learning first aid techniques.

Riley and Buffy had come in at that point and Alex endured another round of being told not to risk himself like that. In the end though, Riley had sided with Giles about the benefits of First Aid and learning the techniques for field dressing wounds, so that was added to the agenda for the next official Scooby Meeting.

Then, with him being sore and stiff and limited in movement, Xander had taken charge of building the set of shelves for Giles, with Alex and Riley helping in a limited fashion. It was a fun and entertaining way to spend the afternoon, even if he ached and winced when he moved too fast. Buffy was excited about school and the shop, Riley was supportive and just *there* for him without being pushy about the incident with his father the day before and, of course, any time spent near Xander was wonderful. And just as he had suspected, Giles didn't even *mention* the deep wet kiss with tongue he had planted on Xander's lips the night before.

With the exception of his bumps and bruises, this day was turning out to be damn near perfect. Cynically, he hoped it would last, but he wasn't counting on it. He still had to find a way to broach the subject of his dark moods with his beloved twin. And the reason he suspected for him suffering them.

*****
Part 11:

The sun was setting and it was turning the sky a deep azure even as the white clouds became stained a dark blood red. The five of them were sitting back, relaxing in the comforting warmth of good food and good friendship. Empty pizza boxes and soda cans were scattered about the Magic Box amongst Alex's various tools. The new display cases were only partially filled, but that was okay, Giles had a shipment coming in on Tuesday and that would cram full the remaining free space.

Riley was sitting on the floor and leaning up against the glass counter that held the cash register. His thick thighs were spread wide and Buffy was sitting between them, her back pressed to his chest and her head tilted slightly to rest upon his broad shoulder. Giles was perched on an upturned crate, his long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He was leaning his back against the bookshelves and his eyes roamed over the store with a twinkle of pride in them. Xander was sitting on the floor across from Riley and Buffy, his back against a display case. Alex was laying flat on his back on the floor and he was using his twin's lap as a pillow. Everyone was contented and smiling.

"I know that work's gonna be not fun because of my ribs and knee aching, but did I tell you guys about my promotion?"

Buffy shook her head and Riley snorted slightly and was forced to drag a handful of her blonde locks out of his mouth since he had been about to speak when she moved. Everyone chuckled at the two of them.

"Ahhh... I'll take that as a no?"

Flashing an indulgent grin at his Slayer, Giles then turned to the twins.

"Well, you told us that you had been given one, but you didn't tell us whether you started the job or not, nor what you thought of it."

Alex frowned slightly and considered all of the new responsibilities and duties that rested on his shoulders. He also realized that he had a lot to learn yet as he was still in a sort of training stage as far as that went. His boss had only shown him a small part of the requirements for being a crew leader so far, once he had mastered them, he'd be shown even more.

"Well, it's a big change. When I started this job it was as a temporary worker, you know? Just a warm body that was strong enough to handle manual labor. Then little by little I was shown how to do more and more of the difficult things. And I was *good* at it. Working the machines and using the tools. Plus I really enjoy it. It's nice to see all your hard work produce something solid and useful, you know? But this is something even more. It's a responsibility that I've never had before. Suddenly, I'm not just in charge of *myself* and making sure that *I* do a good job, but I'm in charge of *other* people and the quality of *their* work. Sorta scary, but I like it."

"I know what you mean."

Alex turned his head and gazed at Riley is mild surprise.

"You do?"

The older man just grinned slightly and nodded.

"Yeah. It was like when I was in the Army. As a private in boot camp I didn't have to worry about anything but not pissing off the Drill Sergeant, you know? Then, once I graduated out of boot camp I suddenly found myself as one of the Patrol Leaders in my Platoon. It was... frightening to have these men under my command, but it was a great feeling at the same time."

Alex's surprise melted into a grin as he thought about it a bit.

"Yeah. That's it exactly."

Giles chuckled and Alex wondered what the expression on his face meant. It was part regretful, part proud, part wistful and part enthusiastic. It made him seem at once young and strong as well as older and wiser. Not for the first time, Alex found himself silently cursing the fates that Giles hadn't been his father instead of Frank Harris.

"It's also sort of like this shop, at least for me. It's a lot of added responsibility that's been giving me a good mix of worry and excitement. However, I think that what's most important is that it has provided me with a... a focus. A direction in which to strive. And I think that is part of what you feel as well. This past year, well... your work experience has been... uh, sketchy at best. However, I think that it wasn't through any fault of your own, it was more that you just needed to find that one thing that was able to bring your talent and your mind into focus and allow you to... feel as if you had found the place where you belonged."

Alex let that idea roll around in his head a bit. He hadn't really thought of it that way, to be honest. Some small part of him was lurking in the back of his mind just waiting for him to fuck up and lose this job as well, but he hadn't. Instead, he'd been promoted and that was something that had never happened before. So, maybe it was as Giles believed. He wasn't a fuck up at all, he had just needed to find his... niche. His place in life. And now... he had.

"Yeah. I like that G-man. It's a good thought and it... feels right. We both just sort of stumbled onto our correct path, huh?"

Giles chuckled and raised up his can of soda again even as he nodded his head. Then he took a sip of his sugary-sweet drink and made a face at it. The others all giggled at him and he sighed a martyred sort of sigh. They giggled harder.

As the laughter died down Buffy cleared her throat. All eyes swung towards her and she flashed a big happy Buffy smile. Alex couldn't help but smile back at her. She had really been here for both him and Xander during this... weirdness and when she was happy it made him feel so much better.

"I went down to the University the other day and signed up for my classes. I was able to get all of the ones I wanted except for one that was all ready filled, but that's okay. I'll try to get that one next semester. Anyway, I know it seems silly, but I'm excited about it. I know that it'll mean a lot of work and all, but... I can't help it. I just think how I'm the first Slayer *ever* to get an education and I can't help but feel that makes it special, you know?"

Riley wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight. Buffy put her arms over his and cuddled back against him, her smile getting even bigger.

"Buffy, it *is* a big deal. It's a wonderful opportunity for you and I'm *very* glad you've got this chance. I don't think any of us would ever deny you the chance to finish your education. It's extremely important and you're *allowed* be happy about it. Don't ever feel as if you have to apologize for that."

"G-man is right, Buff. You deserve this. If Alex and I had the money, we would have gone on to college too. I mean, yeah, we aren't as smart as you are, but there are a few classes that you and Willow have talked about that sounded like lots of fun. Okay, lots of work too... but fun."

Everyone looked up at Xander in astonishment, including Alex who had to turn his head in his brother's lap in order to do so.

"What?"

Xander blushed and squirmed under everyone's stares.

"Well... um, Xan, not to sound *rude* or anything, but you've *never* liked school. You have been heard to claim *hating* learning."

Alex flinched a tiny bit at that, but Buffy's observation was... well, true. He had never liked school and to be honest, he didn't really have any desire to go back. But apparently, Xander felt differently. He watched his beloved twin flounder slightly.

"Oh. Well... um, it's not *exactly* like that. Okay, so it is... or was. Or... It's different now, I guess. I mean, Giles and I have been researching and... I sorta, well... I had, you know... um, fun."

Everyone was silent as they absorbed this bit of information. True to form, Giles was the first to recover enough to quiz Xander further.

"Do you mean since you and Alex have been split in half by Toth's spell? Is that when you began to feel differently about... well, about studying and learning?"

Blushing, Xander nodded his head.

"Um, yeah. I guess it's a bit... easier to learn now. You know, without certain... ahhh, thoughts inside of my head."

Confused, Buffy broke in with a question of her own.

"What thoughts?"

Blushing even further, Xander quirked an embarrassed grin and glanced down at Alex's smirking face.

"Uh... Alex's thoughts."

Everyone was painfully quiet for a long moment as they considered that concept. It started with a Buffy snicker. That was quickly stifled, but then the silence was broken once again by a Riley snort. Then a Giles chuckle and a Xander giggle. Another strained and brief silence while Alex glared indignantly at everyone. Then the damns burst and everyone began to laugh with a free mirth and joy of life that made Alex smile warmly and relax back into the loving arms of his twin.

*****

It had been a wonderful day filled with love and laughter at the Magic Box and Alex had taken a special sort of joy in being with Xander. He was proud of his bubbly and excitable twin, not only for the great job he had done on Giles' display case, but also for being willing to go against their reputation as being "not very smart" and admitting that he *was* interested in learning. That had taken guts and Alex was glad that Xander wasn't afraid to express himself, not just with him, but with their friends as well.

He had also felt that odd camaraderie with Riley again. It wasn't as if he hadn't liked the guy before, but it *had* felt like they had no common ground on which to connect. That wasn't the case anymore. In fact, Riley had made a point of asking him if he might want to get together and share a few beers sometime.

In one of those flashes of insight he was prone to, Alex realized that Riley most likely felt... adrift now that he was no longer with the Initiative. Not just because he was no longer on a specific mission with rigid parameters and goals, but also because he was no longer surrounded by a group of like minded men that he could bond with. At least, not until now.

That had made Alex feel good, that *he* wasn't the only one who had felt that... spark of friendship. He no longer saw Riley as just "Buffy's boyfriend", but as a man in his own right. Alex suspected that it was the same for Riley. He was no longer "Buffy's friend", but an individual person that Riley could respect and like for his *own* reasons. And that was just fine with Alex.

However how great the day had been though, now that he was home in their apartment with Xander, all he felt was tired and sore. He had gone out of his way not to do very much so that his ribs and knee could rest and even with Riley driving them across town he still couldn't help but groan softly at each stiff and unyielding movement his body made.

Grateful for his calming and gentle presence, Alex mindlessly followed Xander's lead and let his sweet beloved brother guide him over to the big overstuffed couch in the living room. Bracing himself with one hand on the back of the couch and one hand on Xander's shoulder, Alex slowly lowered himself to the cushions.

"Just... just relax for a moment. I'm gonna run you a nice hot bubble bath. That should make you feel better. After that, we can go to bed. You have work tomorrow and you need to get as much sleep as possible, okay?"

Alex grinned tiredly up into the wide dark eyes of his other half. Concern and love were shinning out of those big innocent eyes.

"Okay love. That sounds like a wonderful idea."

Xander beamed at him and Alex basked in the blinding warmth of that priceless smile. Long strong fingers caressed his cheek briefly and then with a shy wink, Xander turned and walked off towards the bathroom. Alex grinned as he watched his twin's bottom flex and shift as he walked, then when Xander disappeared into the bathroom, he shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.

He could hear his brother shifting things around in the other room for a long moment and then he heard the water begin to run and fill up the white porcelain tub. Frowning slightly, Alex knew that now was the time to confess everything to his beloved twin. He was calm, they were alone and barring the apocalypse, they wouldn't be interrupted. He needed to tell him. He had put it off all day long and he knew that if he continued to do so that they would never talk about it until it was too late. Alex didn't want that.

A soft touch to his hair pulled him out of his thoughts and he opened his eyes to see Xander squatting down in front of him, his dark eyes filled with a soft gentle love. Alex smiled at him.

"Hey love. Ready for your bath?"

Alex's smile grew.

"Yeah. Help me up?"

"Of course."

Xander stood up and leaned down so that he could grab hold of Alex's good arm. Bracing himself, he began to pull gently and Alex leaned heavily on his twin's body, confident in his strength. Together they levered him up off of the couch. Once he was standing, he began to slowly limp towards the bathroom, but Xander didn't let go of him, instead holding onto his arm to help steady him and give him support.

A warm flood of love and desire for his brother washed over Alex and he realized how lucky he was to have him there. Guiltily, Alex once again silently hoped that Giles and Willow never found a way to undo Toth's spell. He didn't think he could stand to lose Xander, which was so odd considering that they were, in fact, the same person. It didn't make sense and it was ugly and brutal in a way, but there it was.

Alex mentally slapped himself. Narcissism much? Very.

His internal thoughts were cut off when they entered the bathroom. A musky vanilla scent rose from the steaming bubbles in the tub and Alex grinned. Slowly and carefully, with Xander's help, Alex pulled his clothing off piece by piece. Then, quickly and without thought, Xander tore his own clothing off and tossed it the floor. Alex paused a moment to allow a long leering look over his twin's tight tanned form. Xander blushed, but didn't try to cover himself, he just returned the look only with a shy blushing hunger that made Alex's cock twitch.

Once more moving slowly and carefully, Xander helped Alex into the tub so that they were standing with Xander behind him. Then, with Xander taking all of his own weight and most of Alex's, they lowered themselves into the hot scented water.

The wet heat burned against his skin at first, but then that warmth sunk into his muscles and he felt knots of tension and stress slowly begin to unravel and loosen themselves. Sighing with relief, Alex melted back against Xander, physically mimicking the position Buffy had taken with Riley earlier in the night. Then, as if everything wasn't all ready perfect, Xander took up a soapy bubble filled washcloth and began to gently scrub Alex's arms and chest. He practically purred.

"Um... Alex?"

"Yeah Xan my heart?"

There was a slight pause in the hand rubbing along the skin of his arm and then it continued.

"Were you upset by what I said? I mean earlier, when I said that I felt differently about, you know, school and all."

Alex felt his heart skip a beat, however he didn't know if it was from Xander even *thinking* that Alex could *ever* be mad at him or because this was it. The opening he'd been waiting for. Confession time.

"No lover. I'm not mad at you. In fact I'm proud of you for admitting it. That took guts. I mean, I know that Buffy and Giles are good friends. The best even. But let's face facts, neither of them thinks we are very bright. Besides... I'm been seeing things... and people... differently too. It's not just you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like you said at the Magic Box the other day. We didn't spilt evenly. I mean, yeah... we look alike, but we really *are* different, personality wise."

Xander was quiet for a long moment and Alex just filled his senses with his beloved brother. The feel of his chest and groin pressed tightly to his back. The sensation of him gently washing his skin and the way his long muscular legs wrapped loosely around his waist. It was a good place to be.

"You're right. And my feelings about school aren't the only things that changed. I feel like I get scared faster. I guess that I was always afraid of dad, but it was *so* different yesterday. I mean, he didn't even come downstairs and I... I panicked. We never did that before."

Alex thought of it and realized Xander was right.

"No, we didn't. On the other hand, *I* wasn't afraid of him at all. I was mad, angry to the point of rage, but not afraid."

Alex paused and swallowed hard.

"Xan... Riley had to pull me off of the old man. I almost beat him to death."

For a brief second, Alex was worried about how Xander would react to that admission. Not the lack of fear, but the fact that he had lost control so badly. Xander's answer was a bit of a shock, though.

"Yeah, I know. Buffy told me. She said that Riley told her and explained what had happened. I'm just... I'm just glad that you told me."

Alex decided to just bite the bullet and get it over with. Xander seemed to be taking this better than he thought he would.

"There's more. At least... more to my story about how I got all banged up."

He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts and Xander leaned forward slightly and pressed a soft kiss against his neck.

"Go on... I'm listening."

Nodding his head, Alex began.

"I was angry still. Depressed and afraid, I guess. I just couldn't stop thinking that I was turning into dad and that thought upset me more than anything else ever has. I don't want to be like him, all rage and hate and no control. You know? But I could feel this... this... I don't know, this *darkness* inside of me. Scary, huh?"

Silently Xander nodded his head and continued to bathe Alex, being gentle with his physical injuries as he unloaded his emotional ones.

"*That's* when I ran into the fight in Spike's cemetery. I... I thought that Spike had been staked and instead of feeling *happy* about it, it was like someone had just stolen something of mine that was treasured and cherished. Weird, but... there it is. So, I jumped into the fight only to find out Spike was still undead and kicking ass. Instant happy, you know?"

Alex could feel Xander's smile against the back of his neck.

"It was when we were all embroiled in the fight that it hit me. I realized what it is that is so different now. Why *we* are so different from each other. When you said that the split was uneven, it wasn't just our physical skills or our intelligence that was divided unevenly... it was also our soul."

Xander gasped and stiffened up slightly, but Alex cut him off before he could begin spouting the panicked babbling that he knew was just under the surface.

"One soul, two bodies. That doesn't even include the hyena and the soldier. You know as well as I do that the hyena was never *banished*. Instead, it was *caged* by the spell that Giles did, and the memories of the soldier never went away... they just faded a bit. I think that's why we are so different."

"You think that you got stuck with the hyena and the soldier while I got our..."

Xander's voice trailed off and Alex finished for him.

"...soul. Yes. Sorta. I mean, I have *your* memories and the soldier's... which are crystal clear to me again... so that provides me with lots of discipline that we didn't have when the hyena first possessed us, but... yeah. I think I got the hyena. I think *that's* the darkness that I was feeling... and still feel. Deep inside."

Xander was silent for a long long time and when he spoke, his voice was not filled with fear or scorn like Alex thought it would be. Instead it was filled with concern and fascination.

"That actually explains a lot of what I feel too. I mean, why I've been so frightened by things that never bothered me. Dad, sudden noises, the dark... I don't have the hyena inside me to... filter that stuff through anymore."

The relief that Alex felt at not being rejected by the person that meant more to him than his very life was so intense that he practically melted into a puddle of goo and he chuckled out loud.

"Yeah, well... you ever need anyone pounded into a pulp, I'm your man, okay? I'll get all animalistic on their ass."

Then Xander was laughing with him and the tension levels dropped dramatically. The two of them cuddled a while in the slowly cooling water as Xander finished up washing Alex's body. With a soft sigh, Alex had to admit that this bath was a great idea, he felt *so* much better that it was hard to believe the difference. All his muscles were loose and relaxed and he knew that he would sleep much better tonight than he did last night. He had just one more subject to bring up with his twin.

"Xander?"

"Yes, my heart?"

"Um... these things? That are different, I mean? It's like that... with Anya too."

Alex could hear the frown in Xander's voice.

"What do you mean?"

Alex sighed. He'd been thinking about this and he felt guilty about it, but he couldn't help it.

"Don't get me wrong... I *still* love her. I *do*. Just... not the same as before. I mean, she's still beautiful, charming, funny, smart and sexy. I love her. But... "

He didn't even have to finish, Xander did it for him.

"...but you love Spike more?"

Alex paused for a long moment.

"Yeah."

Xander chuckled softly.

"I sorta figured that. I mean, I *still* think that Spike is hot. Real hot. Majorly sexy and all that, but... he scares me silly now. He didn't before, well... okay, not as bad as he does now. And Anya?... I think I love her even more than before, so I guess we split unevenly on that score as well."

Alex considered that for a moment.

"Okay. So... we're both still bisexual, but instead of being stuck somewhere in the middle of the scale between men and women, you are on the more hetro end of it and I'm on the more gay end of it?"

Xander nodded.

"Makes sense to me. I mean, if I stop and think about it, then yeah... I *do* like the girls more than the guys. Not that I don't like guys... I just like girls more. You?"

"Exact opposite. I like girls, but would *much* rather get naked with a guy."

They both paused to let this sink in for a moment. Then, as one, they turned their heads so that they were staring into each other's eyes.

"But I love *you* best of all."

"You're my *first* choice, no matter what."

They spoke at the same time and then just stared into each other's eyes as they realized what that meant. No matter what their placement on the sliding bisexual orientation scale, or who else might hold a spot in their hearts, it was the other that held the *most* important spot in the other's life. Then, they both grinned a silly and sappy grin at the other.

"I love you Xander."

"I love you Alex."

*****