BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP

BEEP BE--

Frustrated annoyance surging up in his sleep drenched mind, Alex unthinking reached out and slammed his hand down on the offending alarm clock. Then gasped in desperately needed air as a wave of uncensored pain rose up from his shoulder to nearly drown him. He whimpered and trembled at the onslaught of agony that throbbed in his slowly healing ribs and shoulder that his sudden movement caused.

"Hummm?... whaaa?..."

Unshed tears gathered in his eyes and his brother's sleep softened face was blurry and watery as he poked up from beneath the thick covers. Alex didn't move his arm from it's extended position at the alarm clock as he blinked away the tears of pain before they could fall. Irrationally, he was afraid that if he brought his arm back in that it would hurt even more, however, he knew that he couldn't spend all day with his arm stuck out to the side... even if he refused to climb out of bed ever again.

Silently he watched as Xander shifted a bit and blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes. His beloved twin was lovely all sleep tosselled and half awake, but the pain from his shoulder was preventing him from truly appreciating the vision before him.

"Mornin' all ready?"

Alex flashed him a wobbly grin.

"Yeah. It's morning sleepy head."

Xander offered up one of his own shy smiles and reached up with one hand to rub at his big dark eyes and yawn. Then he blinked a bit blurrily and gazed around in confusion. Then his soft smile slid down into a slight frown.

"Um... why are you holding onto the alarm clock? I'm sure if you let go it will promise to stay right where it is. After all, it's never run away from home before."

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Xan."

When his twin merely raised up one eyebrow waiting for an answer, Alex sighed and sheepishly admitted what happened.

"When the alarm woke me up I sort of forgot about my shoulder. So... I reached out and whacked it a good one and now my shoulder feels like someone jabbed it with one of Buffy's stakes."

A look of concern slid onto Xander's face and he instantly bolted into action. Hopping up off of the end of the bed, he walked around to the side where Alex was laying and gently reached down and took hold of his hand.

"Okay, my love, this is going to hurt a bit, but don't fight me or it'll only be worse. Don't worry, I'll fix you up afterwards. I promise."

Alex took in a deep breath, then another and nodded at Xander. Taking that as his cue, Xander carefully swung Alex's arm down and around so that it was laying in a natural position. Pain shimmied down Alex's arm and along his spinal column and he gritted his teeth against the need to snarl and curse, but as soon as the limb was back at his side the pressure began to ease away. Relief began to swim through his body and he sighed.

"Better?"

Alex let his eyes drift shut as he wallowed in the lovely sensation of the pain and pressure receding away from him. A large smile slowly formed on his face.

"Yes, my soul... *much* better. Thank you."

A low chuckling sound filled the room as Alex let his thoughts drift aimlessly, but then something captured his attention. Focusing in on it, he realized that he could hear Xander shuffling through the contents of the nightstand drawer while muttering under his breath.

"Wha'cha looking for?"

"Anya's massage oil. I figured that a quick rubdown before I wrapped up your shoulder and your ribs would feel good. And it might also help to get you through the work day easier if your muscles aren't all stiff from sleeping."

Alex's smile grew even wider at that thought. A massage *would* feel divine right about now and he knew from experience that his other half had *amazing* hands. But then another thought ambushed him and his smile melted into a frown as he opened his eyes to look up at his still searching twin.

"Um... yeah, you're right, but... Anya's oil is... well, fruity smelling. Some type of berry, right? The guys at work are gonna *love* that. Especially Shmitty, you know how he is."

Xander chuckled and then stood up with a triumphant cry as he held out the slim bottle in one hand.

"Yeah, I know, but that's okay. Anyone says anything about you smelling like...", Xander glanced at the bottle and read the label, "...Passion Fruit just turn your head and sniff at your shoulder and say 'Massage oil', smirk evilly, and ask them how *thier* morning was. Just be sure you walk away before they have a chance to answer. That'll tie them all up in knots and make 'em gnaw on their own liver with jealousy."

Alex blinked up at his normally shy and innocent seeming twin with something close to awe.

"You're *evil*. I love it."

They shared a brief chuckle together as they both imagined Everett Shmitt's facial expression in response to that comment. The man was one of the best workers the company had, he was the captain of his bowling league team and he was a walking encyclopedia of sports trivia. He also had all the charm of a slug. If the man had ever even come into contact with massage oil in his life it was most likely from knocking over a display rack of it at the bath and bedroom store or something.

Then Xander was there, helping him to roll over onto his stomach and adjusting the sheets and pillows for him. The covers were pulled back and down out of the way. For a heartbeat, Alex imagined what he must look like laying there with his naked back and ass facing up. He knew that his form was identical to Xander's and he could pull that image up from his memory, but he could also feel the bruises that decorated his skin and a little dark voice in his head whispered that he probably looked so sexy and desirable all bruised and battered. Then Xander's hands touched him and all thought vanished.

His senses were flooded with wonderful sensations, taking him on a kaleidoscopical ride of intense pleasure and slight pain. The fresh and fruity scent of the oil blended into the dark musky smell of him and his brother that rose from the warm sheets and pillows. The oil was slightly warmed by Xander's hands, hands that slid wetly and smoothly along his skin, rubbing and pushing against his tender flesh. Working calmly and methodically to seek out and destroy the hidden knots of tension and tightness, loosening his muscles and letting a relaxed tingling sensation in to take it's place.

Pulling in a deep breath of Xander and passion fruit scented air, Alex let it out slowly as he melted down further into the mattress. His twin's hands worked his neck and his shoulder and his arm. Tension and pain slid away from him and the easing back of tight muscles flooded his mind and body with relief. Xander was extra gentle around his ribs, careful not to press any weight on them, just ghosting his slick fingertips over his sides so that his brain only registered pleasure and not pain.

Then those delightful hands moved down further still and his buttocks were grasped and rubbed, the slick flesh trying to meld to the slick fingers that held them. Pleasure zinged up his spinal column and he moaned and pushed back at those wonderful hands. A low wicked chuckle filled the air and for a long moment Alex thought those hands would work even lower to his suddenly tingling balls, but instead they slid to the side and rubbed and soothed his aching hip.

Shivery ribbons of pleasure and pain danced down the length of his leg as Xander's strong hands wrapped around his hipbone and gently worked it loose and limber once more. Alex imagined that he could hear his ligaments creak and groan as they stretched and flexed under his other half's patient ministrations. Then those talented hands slid lower and his thigh muscle trembled as the strain of carrying his injury and holding his hip and knee joints stiff washed away. A low moan escaped his lips and he melted even further into the soft warm Xander scented pillow.

Down, down those wonderful beacons of pleasure and relief moved and the back of his knee was treated to soft feathery touches and pets. Shivers raced along his spine and his balls tingled once more. Alex's soft smile twisted slightly into a half-smirk at the thought that Xander had inadvertently found another erogenous zone on his body and then those devilish fingers were traveling down to his calf and rubbing hard at the tight balled muscle just under his skin. Slowly that muscle unknoted itself and pleasure spiraled up his leg and into the base of his spine. Alex's smirk melted away as if it had never been.

A bolt of pleasure so intense that his entire body trembled slightly and his lungs sucked in a gasp of air had Xander chuckling lightly at him. Alex was in no condition to answer coherently so he just moaned and shifted a bit to rub his erection against the bed.

"Hey now... none of that."

His twin stopped rubbing his foot and lightly smacked him on the ass. For a second Alex didn't know if he should complain about his foot not being rubbed or ask for a second spanking, but then Xander's hands were both there rubbing and massaging his ass again and he forgot what he'd been thinking about.

Slowly, methodically, Xander repeated the actions on his uninjured hip and leg. Which, was a good thing in Alex's opinion, since that leg had been taking the brunt of his weight ever since the fight. And as such, the muscles in that leg were strained and sore, rife with knots of tension and stress from being overworked. But his twin's strong slick hands worked and rubbed at his flesh until the last bit of pain and stiffness evaporated and he was a big happy puddle of contentment laying in the middle of their bed.

Gently, Xander helped him roll over onto his back. With no body modesty to speak of where his beloved brother was concerned, Alex sighed and shifted against the soft sheets, his bright red and leaking erection pointing directly up at the ceiling. He was sure that he had the biggest silly smile of pleasure on his face, but he didn't care and truthfully, he didn't think he could do anything about it even if he wanted to.

Once he was settled, Xander kneeled down between his legs and placed a hand on each of Alex's ankles. This time he worked his way upward instead of down Alex's body. And instead of both hands on each leg, he massaged both at the same time, his right hand mimicking the movements of the left in perfect synchronization.

Slowly, those wonderful hands worked up his calves and to his knees. From there they traveled to his thighs. Unconsciously, Alex spread his legs wider for his brother, letting him have access to any part of his body that Xander wanted. Soft slick fingertips teased maddeningly along the tender skin of his inner thighs and his body trembled and his cock twitched.

Then Xander's hands moved up again, but to Alex's disappointment, they skirted around his swollen and angry cock and headed towards his hips. While what they were doing to his hips felt amazing and wonderful, he was about to complain that he didn't get a handjob out of this. He *really* wanted a handjob. However, just as he opened his mouth to voice his opinion, a warm wet mouth closed around the very tip of his cock.

"Aaahhhh!!!!"

Xander chuckled at his cry without taking Alex's length out of his mouth and the vibrations traveled down the shaft and directly into his balls. Alex's dark eyes dilated even more and then rolled back into his skull.

Xander's tongue laved the crown, dipping briefly into the slit at the very tip and then swirled around the swollen ridge twice before flickering at the very spot where their circumcision scar was located. Alex trembled and twitched in delight, incoherent babbling noises pouring from his lips.

Somewhere in the back on his mind, Alex was aware of the fact that his twin's hands had moved from his hips, but the overwhelming waves of pleasure flooding his brain on a direct route from his cock made figuring it out impossible. At least, until he suddenly registered the twin bolts of pleasure-pain that assaulted his senses from Xander's fingers pinching down on his nipples hard.

He gurgled and a flood of pre-cum erupted from his cock.

"Gah!"

Xander chuckled again and the vibrations tingling along his length made him tremble harder. Then those hands were gone from his nipples and he cried out at the loss. But they returned to his body, one hand at his balls, gently rolling them across slick fingers and the other was sliding between his ass cheeks and Alex spread his legs further and tilted his hips slightly. Then Xander's tongue did that swirling thing just as he sucked down hard on the tip of his cock and one finger on the other hand slid passed the puckered muscles of his anus and thrust deep inside of him to lightly graze against his prostate.

Bright white light burst behind Alex's eyes as his system was flooded with sizzling sparkles of electric pleasure in a wave so powerful that he happily drowned himself in it. His entire body clenched itself up tightly and then he exploded into a million glittering shards of diamond and ruby gems and all he knew was this erotic release of pleasure and happiness and joy and love.

Floating hazily in a fog of sensual satiation, a murmuring low husky voice slowly seeped into his overloaded and blown away mind.

"...so beautiful... ...love you... ...so beautiful..."

Peeling his eyes open he was treated to the incomparable vision of his beloved brother braced up on his knees between his own thighs, dark eyes wide open and simply devouring him with hunger and want as his one oil slicked hand played with his balls even as the other worked his straining shaft. Grinning, Alex wished he was videotaping Xander kneeling over him and jerking off. It was so erotic.

And then another idea hit him and he quickly pushed himself into a sitting position in front of his other half. Flashing dark smoldering eyes of lust up at his brother, Alex leaned forward and took the very tip of Xander's swollen cock into his own mouth and moaned at the wonderful musky taste. His twin kept pumping his shaft, literally jerking off into Alex's mouth and his spent cock tried desperately to rouse at the very kinkiness of the idea.

"...ohgodiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou..."

And then Alex's mouth and throat were flooded with the rich thick essence of Xander as his twin twitched and spasmed above him. Alex gently suckled and licked at him, cleaning him off and swallowing down every drop until finally, with a low cry, Xander pulled away and collapsed into his arms.

Their lips met in a brief kiss, a mere brushing of skin, and then another one, deeper and wetter. Possessive and filled with love and joy and the promise of home and happiness. Finally, Xander broke the kiss and gasped for air as they trembled in each other's arms. Then Xander smiled.

"Come on. Morning's wasting. You go on into the bathroom and get ready for work. I'll go make you some breakfast and then afterwards I'll wrap up your shoulder and ribs. Okay?"

With that, Xander pulled out of his grasp and fumbled around on the floor searching for a pair of boxers. Confused, Alex could only gape at him. How could anyone expect him to go to work when he only had enough brain cells left to just lay here being a human puddle of sweaty goo?

*****

It had been a long tiring day at work, but a good one nonetheless. Xander had, as usually, been right. The massage... and the blowjob, had certainly relaxed him and put him into a great mood. He didn't have half the aches that morning as he had the day before. He was also right about Shmitty. The man had made a snarky remark about Alex smelling as if he had rolled around in a flower garden and Alex had reacted exactly the way his lover had suggested. Shmitty had goggled at him for a long moment and then grumped away mumbling to himself. It had been beautiful.

Still, by the end of the day he was worn out and sore again. All he really wanted was a nice long nap with a snugly Xander, but they both had too many things to do. So, he settled for an extra-hot and steamy shower to try and loosen up and relax his shoulder, which had begun to throb again.

Once he was clean and changed, he had called over to the Magic Box and told Giles for him and Xander not to worry, that he would be over later and that he had something to do first. The older man didn't press for details the way that Xander would have and for once, Alex was glad. He wanted this to be a surprise.

Even though he was walking slow to favor his sore knee, Alex made good time across town to the University. Winking at the young woman behind the Resident Advisor Desk in the lobby of Swenson Hall, Alex quickly made his way up to the third floor and walked down the corridor until he reached Willow and Tara's new dorm room.

He only had to wait a brief moment after knocking before Willow opened the door. When they caught sight of each other, they both gasped in shock. Willow hastily backed up and away from the door, waving him in.

"C.come on in, Xander. It's... I'm... Wow. I didn't think you'd want to see me and all... but hey, I'm... um, I'm glad that you're here and all. I didn't want you to think, you know, that I've given up trying to find the solution to the... um, problem with Toth's spell. Cause I haven't. Given up I mean."

"Breathe Willow."

She flashed him a shaky smile, but her watery green eyes didn't quite meet his and she gulped in a huge breath of air. Hands fluttering wildly, she gestured for him to sit down on the only chair in the room and she walked over and sat down on the very edge of her and Tara's bed, her hands twisting together in her lap.

To Alex, the red headed witch looked tired. There were deep dark circles under her eyes and she was acting as if she was wired for sound from too much caffeine. Books and papers lay scattered about the room and several empty cans of soda littered the far end of the dresser.

A wave of tenderness and concern washed over him for her. This was classic Willow guilt and he knew that it was her inability to break the spell separating him from his brother that was at the root of it. He had to disabuse her of that idea.

"Willow."

Her head jerked up and she looked at him, but then her eyes skittered away.

"Willow, look at me. It's okay. I'm *not* angry or upset with you. You've done *nothing* wrong."

"But Xander! I couldn't *fix* you!"

"It's Alex."

Confusion fluttered over her exquisite face.

"What?"

He smiled gently at her.

"Alex. *I'm* Alex and my... twin is *Xander*. It's... easier on everyone that way."

Unconsciously he reached up and rubbed at the goatee which was slowly getting thicker. It was the only physical difference in their looks. Otherwise, they were identical down to every mole and scar.

"Oh."

He stood up and walked over to her. Sitting next to her Alex gently folded her into a hug.

"Look, I know that you want to help and that's great. But please don't feel guilty about anything here Wills. You didn't do this to us and you weren't trying to kill Buffy with the spell. That was Toth, not you."

Willow gave a tiny shrug of her shoulders and wrapped one arm around his waist.

"I... I know that. It's just that... what good is magic if it can't help? I mean, I just hate feeling so... so useless and helpless, you know? And I want you to know that just because the first attempt didn't work, that doesn't mean that I've given up on you guys. I... I'm gonna keep on searching until we have the problem solved."

Alex sighed and gently turned her face up and around until she was forced to look into his dark eyes.

"That's where you *are* wrong. It's not... Wills, it's *not* a problem. Really. I... I know it sounds strange, but... I'm *happier* now than I was before. I feel more focused, more self-aware and more alive than I did before. And I think Xander feels the same way."

Willow's expression was dubious and disbelieving.

"I mean, last night we were at the shop with Buffy and Riley trying to help Giles get everything ready for the shipment of stock tomorrow and do you know what Xander said?"

She shook her head no and Alex grinned.

"Oh Wills, you would have been *so* proud of him. He said that he *likes* learning new things and that he wants to go on to college."

Willow's jaw dropped and she gaped at him in shock.

"He *said* that?"

Alex chuckled and nodded his head.

"Yeah. Apparently it has been *me* and *my thoughts* that have been holding him back all these years. We've been talking a lot these past few days and we've realized that we didn't... um, split evenly. He got the brains out of the two of us... and well, I think that really makes him feel good, you know?"

Willow swallowed hard and leaned back a little bit, shifting her body so that she faced him, her expression one of curious fascination.

"No, please tell me, though."

Alex shifted around so that he was also facing her as well. Reaching out, he grasped one of her hands in his and he knew that his had a goofy smile on his face, but he couldn't help it, he was so proud of Xander.

"Well, you know how he's been working with Giles to research the weapon thing that Toth used?"

Willow nodded.

"He was so excited about it because he says that he *finally* understands. I mean, all these years we've been helping out with the research and so many concepts and theories just blew past us. Yeah, we could grasp the basic idea and sometimes the fuzzy edges of the real details and meanings of stuff, but it never came together as a... a cohesive whole. It was just random facts and ideas and things bouncing around. But Xander *gets* it now. He *understands* all of those things that still just slip past me."

"You have *never* been stupid and you know I don't like it when you suggest differently."

Alex grinned at her, nonplused at her ire.

"Not stupid, no, but definitely not as smart as you or Buffy. I mean, I can get the simple things. Kill this monster with this weapon in this particular way. Great and no problem. But... but things like magic and prophecies and astrology and stuff? Let's face it Wills, when you and Tara and the G-man start babbling on about those kinds of things I get... lost. *Xander* doesn't. Not anymore. He finally gets it."

Willow was still and silent for a long moment as she absorbed all of that, but when she did speak, it was softly and with an odd note of hopeful longing.

"And you? What about you? Are you happy?"

Alex just shrugged and grinned.

"Yeah, I am. It's like I said earlier, I feel focused. I'm happy at work, I'm enjoying patrol more and I feel free. To be honest... I... I don't really want the spell to end. I... I *like* being split."

A wave of shock washed over Willow's face for a moment making her green eyes sparkle, but then they darkened once again with doubt and disbelief.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better, aren't you?"

The smile melted off of Alex's face and when he spoke he was deadly serious.

"No Willow, I'm not."

She took in a deep shaky breath and Alex could just tell that a babbling lecture was headed his way and to be honest, he wasn't in the mood to listen to it. He let go of her hand and stood up, speaking before she could even get started.

"Look, Wills. I actually have a favor to ask. It's... well, it's for Xander really. I was hoping that you could use your hacking skills to somehow come up with some extra ID's for us. So that we are legally twins? I mean, I have to work and eventually, so will Xander. Plus, I'd like to see if I can't get him into college like he wants. Even if it's only a class or two a semester. I can't really afford much more than that... so..."

Willow bounced up from the bed, excitement suddenly pouring off of her. As he'd hoped, she had latched onto this opportunity to actually help. It would appease a bit of her guilt and it *would* make their lives a *lot* easier in the long run.

"Oh sure! I can do that. No problem at all really. I just need a little bit of time to get everything together for you. That's all. Um... how should I do it, I mean, what names do you want me to use and all?"

Alex considered it for a brief second.

"Alex L. Harris and Xander V. Harris. Give us our real birthday, so we don't have to worry about trying to remember a new one. Okay?"

"No problem at all."

Willow was all ready up and turning on her computer. With a soft smile and a light gentle kiss pressed to the top of her shimmering red hair, Alex let himself out of her dorm room.

*****
Part 13:

After leaving Willow to do her hacking computer thing, Alex realized that he was tired. And sore. He *really* didn't feel up to dealing with everyone tonight and he didn't want to patrol either.

The darkness that hovered just beneath the surface of his mind was calm and quiet. Sated, perhaps? The confrontation with their dad, the fight and subsequent claiming of Spike in the cemetery and then the whispered confession to his beloved twin had taken more out of him then he had first thought.

Which was understandable. These past few days had been incredibly intense. Both physically and mentally. Plus he was healing and that always wore him out quick. He figured that a nice quiet evening would put him 'right as rain' for tomorrow.

Taking the shortest and easiest route back to his apartment, he called the Magic Box once again. This time he spoke to his brother.

"Xan?"

"Yeah? Where are you Alex? I thought you were going to swing by the shop and help get everything set for tomorrow's shipment?"

Alex grunted. He had, truthfully, forgotten all about that. He didn't want to be a complete heel, but...he *really* didn't feel up for anything strenuous.

"Uh...yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I had a few things to do, which I did, but I am *totaly* wiped out. Work was... exhausting and my ribs ache. I was thinking that I would just stay home...um, maybe throw together a light dinner or something for when you're done over there. I was kinda hoping that we could stay in tonight."

Feeling slightly childish, but not being able to help himself, Alex crossed his fingers that Xander wouldn't be too upset. Alex *knew* his twin was excited about the magic shop opening up, but the thought of going out and walking around town was *not* a happy one. Alex was just hoping that the offer of him fixing dinner would be a suitable substitute.

"Um... er, okay. Uh... oh hey! I know. Look, we probably won't be done here until around sixish anyway, so why don't you lay down for an hour or two. I'll call before we leave here so that you can get up and maybe throw a couple of sandwiches together. I'll just ask Anya if she wouldn't mind staying in tonight because of your ribs hurting and all. I'm sure she'll understand."

"Oh... about that..."

But Xander cut him off, obviously yelling to someone in the shop itself.

"what? oh...okay, sure, no problem."

Suddenly, his twin's voice was loud and crystal clear once more.

"Hey, Alex? I gotta go now. The Xand-man is in demand. Well...okay, they need another tall person, but hey! Whatever works, right?"

"Oh, um...okay."

"Great. I'll call and let you know when we're leaving."

And then he was gone, the dial tone buzzing in Alex's ear. With a shake of his head and a wry grin stealing over his face, Alex enjoyed the warm melting sensation in his chest at the very thought of his hyper and enthusiastic brother bouncing around the shop getting in everyone's way in the name of "helping out".

Hanging up the telephone receiver, Alex turned and went to go lay down on the couch. A nap didn't sound like a bad idea.

*

Alex looked down at the remains of his sandwich and grimaced. The soup had been hot and filling, not too spicy but no where near bland. The sandwich had been perfect. Made just the way he liked it. Yet, he could feel his stomach churn slightly with indigestion and knew that he'd be popping antacid tablets all night long.

It wasn't the food, which both Anya and Xander had also gobbled up fast, but the conversation that he knew he was going to have to start. It was ten times worse than the one he'd had with his brother. At least then, he'd had the comfort of knowing that in essence they were the same person, so that somewhere down deep, Xander would understand. But this?

With a sigh, he got up from his chair and helped to clean up. The paper plates that had held the sandwiches were tossed into the trash and the soup bowls and the soup pot were washed and put away. He didn't join in with Xander and Anya when they began to flick water at each other from their fingertips and he didn't get involved with the towel snapping contest. He just smiled quietly at them both and offered up a silent prayer to whom ever might be listening that he didn't break either of their hearts.

Finally, everything was finished and he knew he couldn't stall any longer. With a big sigh he ushered them both into the living room and sat them both down. He briefly wondered if he should cross his fingers for luck, but then dismissed the notion as being too obvious. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself and began.

"Ahn? You *do* know that Xan and I...well, we didn't split evenly? Right?"

Xander suddenly fell silent, his face falling into an oddly serious expression with faintly worried undertones. Anya just looked confused.

"Yeah. Giles was explaining it to me. He said that you are physically identical. Like a a photocopy. But just the body and the memories. He said that your mental traits and personality traits were...divided instead of photocopied exactly. Like dealing out the cards in a poker deck. A total random shuffle."

Alex raised up one eyebrow. That was an...interesting interpretation, but hey, if it worked for Anya, he wasn't going to complain.

"Right. Anyway. We both got duplicate "basics" like memories and learned skills and stuff, but the rest... split *un*evenly. So... for example, Xander is smarter than me. I'm more aggressive."

Anya nodded slowly, her face still confused, but she was trying to put it all together.

"Okay. I get that part. You don't have to worry about me mixing the two of you up. You know that, right?"

Alex smiled slightly and nodded.

"Yeah, Ahn. I know. Um...do you remember way back when Willow first told everyone that she and Tara were a couple? Girlfriend and girlfriend? And we had that long talk about bisexuality and I told you that..."

He faltered at that point. He knew where this was going and he wished he didn't have to do this because he knew that she would be hurt, but it wasn't fair to either one of them to keep on pretending.

"What?"

Anya frowned for a second and then her face suddenly grew excited as she remembered the conversation.

"Oh! I remember. Yeah. We were in your parent's basement and we were talking about sex and homosexuality and unfulfilled fantasies."

Then her face grew confused again.

"Why? What does that have to do with what's happening now?"

Alex sighed, silently wishing that for just this once Anya would be able to figure it out on her own and not need him to draw her a picture.

"It's relevant because that's when I told you that *I* was bisexual. I just never slept with a guy because I always seemed to be dating a girl and then there was the whole denial, fear and angry drunken father issues, but anyway...the whole point is that this...*bisexual issue* was split unevenly between Xander and I, as well."

Anya frowned as she tried to absorb this information.

"What? One of you is no longer bisexual?"

Alex sighed slightly and shook his head no.

"Not exactly. The split was more complete than that. One of us is straight and one of us is gay."

"Oh. Okay. That makes sense, I guess."

A heartbeat later, Anya's eyes got very wide as understanding rushed into her mind and her mouth formed a perfect little O shape. Hurt began to swim behind her eyes.

"So. Which one of you is... gay now?"

Silently, Alex raised his hand up and waved it at her. Her breath hitched in her throat slightly and she nodded her head as she tried desperately to process the information.

"Are you...are you breaking up with me?"

"Ahn, I think you are wonderful, caring, loving, strong, beautiful and I love you. But...I am no longer *in* love with you. I'm...I'm sorry. I really truly am."

Unconsciously, she flinched back and pain flickered across her face. She shifted in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if she were hugging herself for comfort.

"Do...do you like some guy? I mean, is it...will you..."

She floundered to a stop and looked up at him helplessly. His heart broke for her, but he knew that in the long run, this was for the best. He couldn't keep her happy and she would eventually drive him away from her anyhow. Best to do it now...calmly.

"Um, yeah. I...I kind of have a thing for...for Spike."

Her eyes opened up wide in surprise and she silently mouthed the name "Spike" to herself as if trying to fit that idea into her head. Finally she just shook her head and stood up.

"I...I understand. I do. Really. I just...I just need some time. To think. And process this...development."

Then she turned her head sharply and looked at Xander. She tried to appear strong and in control, but worry and hurt shone from her every movement and expression.

"Are you dumping me too, Xander?"

Xander shook his head.

"No, Anya. I love you even more than...before. The split, I mean."

A wobbly smile crossed her lips and Alex felt a bit better, thankful that at least one of them wouldn't be hurting her tonight. Then, she nodded her head and grabbed up her purse.

"I still need to go and think. I'll...I'll talk to you later. I...I'm just gonna go now."

And then she was gone.

*****
Part 14:

For a long moment after Anya left, Alex just stared blindly into space. A part of him felt relief that the tense and highly charged emotional scene was over, but a part of him wished that he had never had to do what he had just done. He'd broken her heart and a tiny part of him hated himself for that. And yet, it was for the best. If he had let this go on, it would become this giant *thing* between them, tearing them apart from the inside out and his beloved Xander would be caught in the middle, taking shrapnel wounds from both sides.

Breaking up with her *was* the right thing to do. Even if he never saw Spike again.

Not that he wanted to avoid the bleached blonde vampire, but more because it was two separate issues. His desire for Spike had nothing to do with his lack of desire for Anya. And now, if he *did* happen to hook up with the evil undead with the sinfully tight jeans, then he didn't have to worry about any stray flickers of guilt for cheating on Anya.

A warm hand on his shoulder pulled Alex out of his spiraling thoughts. He turned his head to look up into the understanding dark eyes of his twin. He could see echoes of compassion, hope and just a touch of sadness. Xander squeezed his shoulder gently and then let go only to shoo him up further on the couch.

"Move forward a bit so I can slip behind you."

A half grin twisted one corner of his lips upwards even as his shifted his body away from the back of the couch and more towards the center. Gracelessly, Xander swung one long leg up and around him and then plopped his butt down on the cushions heavily. The entire couch sagged and the springs groaned in protest. Alex's grin grew into a smile.

The couch continued to bounce and squeak as Xander shifted and wiggled until his back was pressed up into the corner with one long leg resting all along the back and the other long leg hanging off over the edge of a cushion. Then, to Alex's delight, one muscled arm wrapped around his shoulders gently and pulled him back to rest against his brother's strong broad chest.

Alex sighed in content as he leaned into the warm embrace of his other half, the tension and strain of the day draining off of him almost instantly. He felt...wilted. Like a leaf of lettuce that had been left all day in the hot sun. Xander chuckled at him and the rumbling vibrations in his twin's chest transmitted directly through his shirt and skin to tingle deep within his own chest. It was almost a tickling sensation and it made him want to laugh, but he knew that laughter would make his ribs scream in protest so Alex just settled for letting his smile stretch even wider.

Then, with a flick of his wrist and the press of a button, Xander turned on the television with the remote control. Unbidden, he could hear Spike's thick accent roll around his head as the lean sexy vampire bitched about his broken "telly" and Alex's smile slid into a smirk.

"This show always reminds me of when we were young, before life got all weird and dangerous and filled with things that go bite in the night."

Alex shifted his gaze to the television and saw that it was set for the Cartoon Network. Ed, Edd and Eddie was on. He chuckled softly because he new *exactly* what Xander meant. He'd shared the same thoughts before their split.

"Yeah. I know. It's us. Us, Willow and Jessie. Right?"

Xander's arms came around him in a gentle hug. Mutual comfort sought and given at the very mention of Jessie's name. Alex snuggled back against Xander. He could feel more than see his twin nod his head in agreement.

"Yep. We were Ed. Willow was *definately* Double D and Jessie would have been a perfect Eddie. Well...not the whole no hair thing, but the coming up with wild schemes for money is pretty much on target."

Alex grinned, a wash of longing and loss for his early childhood friend sweeping over him.

"He was *just* like that, only we didn't do it for money to buy jawbreakers. We were always trying to get money for..."

Xander joined in and they spoke the words as one.

"...chocolate bars and comic books."

The both chuckled at the stereo surround-sound effect of their words. Then they both drifted off into a comfortable silence as they were hit with various memories of their youth, identical soft dreamy smiles on their faces.

"Hey. Do you remember the first time we were on a rollercoaster? Jessie wanted to go on that silly thing *so* bad and Willow was afraid of it. Then, when Jessie got upset at her, we babbled at her until she finally gave in and went with us."

Alex snorted lightly, mindful of his tender ribs.

"Yeah, I remember. Jessie got sick from the ride and threw up everywhere while Willow ended up wanting to go on it again!"

They both shared a long chuckle over that memory and then Alex remembered something else that had happened to them. He turned his head slightly to peer up over his shoulder at his twin.

"Remember the seventh grade Spring Dance and Brenda Pendelson?"

Xander groaned and Alex smirked.

"Thought so."

"Alex! That was *so* embarrassing. I mean, *now* it wouldn't bother me 'cause I know that it happens and that unless their weird, most girls take that as a compliment, but we were *mortified* at the time."

Alex chuckled.

"I know. I was there, remember? There we were, trembling with nerves over our very first slow dance with a girl and we popped a boner in the middle of the school gym with everyone in the world that we knew standing around or dancing."

Xander's voice was filled with chagrined amusement.

"And the expression on her face when she realized what was happening in our pants? Priceless. I don't know who was more embarrassed. Us or her."

They both chuckled again for a long moment and then trailed off once more into comfortable silence. The warmth of Xander's body sank into Alex and his sore and tired muscles relaxed even more. For the first time all day he felt good. Happy.

Home.

His heart clenched in his chest as he breathed in deeply the familiar musky scent of his beloved other half. The world was a harsh place filled with hard surfaces and sharp edges, but when it was just him and his twin, everything seemed softer, sweeter and just plain... better. Xander's fingertips touched against the bare skin of his arm, instantly sensitizing it. Those callused pads traced an invisible pattern along his flesh, leaving tingling nerve endings in their wake.

"My *favorite* first? It was a kiss."

Alex's thoughts wanted to scatter at the delicate touch of his brother's hand, but he tried to force his mind to focus.

"Really?"

This was news to Alex. As far as he knew, they had always considered their favorite "first" to be the first time they had driven a car after getting their driver's license. It was a cherished memory of a bright sunny day and nothing urgent or dangerous to do. They often took that particular memory out and polished it when they were feeling blue.

"Yep. Really."

Alex frowned, wondering which kiss had managed to take precedence over their indoctrination into freedom on wheels.

"Since when?"

"Since the first time that I kissed *you*."

Alex's heart melted like a pat of butter in the sun. He felt a wide smile spread across his face and he was sure he had a goofy dreamy expression on face that would rival the witches when they were staring in each other's eyes. Shifting slightly, Alex leaned to the side and twisted around until he was facing his other half. His soul.

"Really?"

Xander's smile was soft and loving.

"Really."

The warm squishy feeling in Alex's chest traveled down in tingles to evolve into a tight heat uncoiling in his belly. A flare of lust shot up his spine and then back down again to settle into his balls. He could feel the goofy smile of happiness on his face melt into an expression of hunger and need even as his cock twitched and began to harden in his jeans.

He watched, noting all of the signs and signals of arousal as they emerged on Xander's face and in his body. The flush of his skin. The heavy weight of his eyelids as the pupils dilated. The thickening scent of his musk. The slick pink tongue that darted out to lick his lips. The fluttering pulse along the side of his neck.

He wanted his brother and his brother wanted him back.

Careful of how he moved because of his ribs and his knee, Alex shifted forward until only a fraction of an inch of space separated their lips. Deep brown lust-filled eyes stared into deep brown lust-filled eyes.

"I love you Xan."

And then he closed the space, their lips touching softly, gently. A mere brushing of flesh against flesh. He moaned his need and hunger out loud and then deepened the kiss, possessing his beloved twin's mouth as his tongue slipped between full lips, seeking it's mate.

Instantly, Xander opened up to him and surrendered control of the kiss. Submitting and relaxing into it. Alex's cock hardened even further at this tiny display of his dominance and he wanted to be naked with his other half. To feel his twin's skin pressed tightly against his own. With a gasp, he broke the kiss and pulled back just enough to breath out his words.

"Naked. Bed. Now!"

Alex could feel Xander's smile against his own lips even as a large hot hand suddenly cupped his throbbing erection in it's prison of denim.

"Mmmm... Sounds like a plan."

Growling softly in his throat, Alex pushed up away from the couch and stood up. Reaching out with one hand, he grabbed a hold of Xander and gave a light tug. Without a seconds hesitation, Xander slid off of the couch and up into his arms. His twin leaned in and pressed a flurry of soft kisses along his jaw until he was nibbling slightly on Alex's ear.

"Lead the way, my heart."

*****
tbc...