- Warning, there are descriptions of torture in this chapter that might upset some people -

Giles let the temporary binding fall and responded instantly to the kiss; he'd been waiting for it all night, thinking about nothing else since the last one.

Spike's blood-caked hands ran through the soft, greying hair, tangling in it. Giles put his to the vampire's face, crushing him closer. This time, the kiss was easy from the start: mouths finding each other, tongues flicking together, lips softly pressed and touched, parted and closed in an intimate dance of passion. Spike moaned and pushed Giles to his back on the soft forest floor. Half naked, Spike's erection lay on Giles, separated only by the thin layers of the human's clothes.

Still kissing, Spike began to rub lightly, feeling the unmistakable swelling beneath him. He pulled away from the enticingly full lips. 'This ain't what I pictured.'

Giles blinked. 'No. Nor me.'

'Do you care?'

'No.' Giles pulled Spike back into the intensity of the kiss, and they were lost to it for a long time.

Once more, Spike was the one to pull away. He came off the watcher's mouth, almost dazed, his eyes dilated, his hands eager and exploratory on the human's body. 'I want you now.'

Giles closed his eyes then opened them slowly. 'I can't, Spike. You know why. It's still too soon after..'

'No! Oh, fuck, Giles; I want you so much. Bloody hell.! I can feel meself sliding inside you.. I need it!'

'I know. I'm sorry.' Spike felt a hand on his aching shaft. 'I've never done this before, Spike, but I'll try..' Giles slid down and touched the tip of the erection against his warm lips. Spike rolled onto his back and let out a soft moan.

'I've never 'ad human lips on me, Giles. Never.'

'Is it good?'

'It's a bloody revelation.'

Giles took just the bulbous tip into his mouth to see if he could cope with that. It was easy. It was like a chilled, peeled plum: smooth and soft to the touch. It had an intriguing indentation that tasted salty and which, when he probed it, made Spike rise up, cursing softly. Giles took these as good curses and probed some more, as hard as he could, alternating this with rapid flicking of his tongue.

Spike began to chuckle; Giles tried hard not to respond. He felt cool fingers entwining in his hair, and a soft voice murmured in his ear, 'Bloody good for a first time, luv; shows all that imagining in yer head pays off, don't it?'

Giles slapped him away but couldn't help a small smile around the cockhead, as Spike lay back down, still chuckling.

Giles slowly lowered himself onto the shaft, testing the feel of it in his mouth. at the top of his throat. slightly further down.. When he was comfortable with the position, he began a series of short bobs up and down, just to hear Spike groan. When he had the vampire where he wanted him, he slowed down and began the blowjob for real.

He ran his lips up and down, up and down, sucking in as hard as he could, flicking with his tongue as the cockhead was at the very edge of his lips, and using his teeth when he felt things needed to be more interesting. He didn't think about his hands until he felt cool ones directing him to a soft sac. He knew now what would feel good to the pale body, so pushed them roughly into Spike's groin as he gave a particularly hard suck. Spike gasped out a raw, 'Oh, fuck!' and began to jerk his hips. Suddenly, he grasped Giles around the back of the head, trying to force him on more as he began to erupt cold sperm into the human's mouth. Giles thought he was going to gag, so reared back slightly to relieve the pressure. The next thing he knew, Spike's gasps of pleasure changed to ones of pain; the pale hands flew to an agonised head, and Spike's body jerked from the ache of the chip, combined with this intense orgasm. Cries of pain began to be more subtly defined; the jerking got harder, the sperm more copious. The moans were now definitely not those of pain but almost. shocked surprise. and then it was over.

Giles swallowed for the last time and gently withdrew. Spike was lying rigid and spread-eagled on the ground, just staring up into the night sky with a strange look on his face.

'I'm so sorry, Spike.. Only, you were hurting me, and I. I didn't mean for.. I know what that damn chip is like, after all.'

Spike put a finger to Giles' lips to hush him but continued staring into the night sky. 'What's the term for it, Giles?'

'Err. for what?'

'You know - those sad fucks that cum with bags over their heads or all trussed up?'

'Good grief! Hardly my area of expertise! Auto-something, I think, why?'

'Cus, err.. The pain. sudden and sharp like that, just as I was coming in yer, an' then. oh. fuck.! It was.. I can't describe it! I can't.. Oh, God!'

Giles was inordinately pleased with his exertions, even if Spike seemed more fixated on the pain. He felt so comfortable with the vampire that he put his mouth to the slightly softened penis and licked it gently, nuzzling into the soft hair. Spike's hands came back to his head, encouraging, but not forcing him, and a quiet, intense voice said, 'Again.'

Giles glanced up and felt his bowels flood with desire at Spike's expression. He nodded and bent once more to the exposed flesh. Suddenly, Spike reared up. He grabbed his jeans and was in them, standing by the tree, before Giles had even opened his mouth. Buffy burst into the clearing. 'Giles!'

Giles stood up, trying to resist the urge to wipe his chin and glanced anxiously at Spike. Spike shook his head fractionally, and Giles took a deep, calming breath. 'We are quite all right. Other than Spike's leg, that is.'

Buffy didn't spare Spike a glance. 'Okay. I'm going after it. Xander's with Anya; he's fine.'

She disappeared into the night. 'I feel I should go with her.'

'She's better off alone, pet; she'll move faster and be more focused.'

'I suppose so.'

''Sides. I think we need to talk.'

'Talk? Well, that's new for you, Spike.'

'Yeah, well.' Spike pushed off the tree and began to limp back the way they had come. 'Only. seems to me that now we've.. How shall I put it, human? Now we've got the ball rolling, why not just play out the wishes and get it done with? No reason not to now, is there?'

'Long-term sanity aside? No, I suppose not. And it would be the quickest way to end all this. I mean. I can't spend the rest of my life wanting to take you against a tree. like that one - just over there - for example.'

''Xactly. I can't waste my unlife thinking about the feel of your mouth round me, can I?'

'No, certainly not. And it's not as if I've found a suitable spell. It's been four days, and - to be honest - I've not really been able to concentrate.'

'There ya go. We just do this. two nights at most and we're free.'

'Go back to how it was.'

'Yeah.'

'Except for the memories, of course.'

'Well, we've all got fucked up memories from the Hellmouth, ain't we?'

'I suppose so. We've faced death, destruction, end-of-the-world issues before and survived the memories.'

'Fuck, mate, I can remember kissing the slayer! Can't get much worse than that!'

'So, we'll survive. We'll do it, remember, and move on, yes?'

'Sure. So, who first?'

'What.?'

'Breathe, Rupert, breathe. I mean, whose fantasy first? Mine or yours?'

'Oh. I don't know. I'll toss you for it.'

'What? A wanking competition? Ain't done that since..'

'A coin, Spike. I'll toss a coin. Heads or tails?'

'Always tails - you should know that by now.'

'Seems I remember you liking heads just as much a while ago.'

'Fair point, but it's tails for important stuff like this.'

Giles spun a coin. 'You win. My place tomorrow then?'

Spike chuckled. 'On the contrary, human. Mine. I win - I get to do mine second.. Anticipate it more then!'

'Oh. So, I..'

'Walk on the dark side tomorrow, yeah, and seeing what I've just discovered 'bout the 'fects of me chip on sperm production, it's gonna be an interesting night for all concerned.'

Giles swallowed nervously. 'Then it's my place - after a few days possibly - and it's all over.'

Spike's 'Yeah' was rather soft and hesitant, but Giles took it to be genuine and left him at the edge of the wood with a brave, cheery 'See you tomorrow evening then, Spike.'

He walked briskly away then came equally briskly back. 'Anything I should bring?'

Spike shook his head and slowly lit a cigarette. 'It's the dark side, remember? I'll take care of it.'

'Yes, quite so. Good night then, Spike.'

Trying not to laugh, Spike said equally formally, 'Goodnight, Watcher.'

Giles didn't sleep at all and could not decide whether this was due to anxiety about the following night or intense arousal at the memory of Spike's hard penis in his mouth. Oscillating between these two alternatives didn't help. Eventually, he got up and caught up with outstanding correspondence, unread newspapers, and general life administration. At dawn, he left a message for Anya, switched off his phone and went back to bed. He had a feeling he would need his sleep.

Spike didn't sleep much either, mainly because he was a vampire and sleeping during the night made him feel slightly guilty, but more because he was pondering the meaning of darkness.

Where was the dark side that Giles wanted to explore? Spike didn't think his current unlife would qualify as being very dark. Besides his highly trained squad of killer spiders, there wasn't much else evil about him these days.

He could remember evil, though. He'd lived alongside evil for twenty years, revelling in his sire's excess, but Angelus had been unique: unlife his forte.

Spike didn't think Giles meant that kind of darkness when he'd fantasised about experiencing it.

So, if not true demonic evil, what else? Given Giles had already spent two months in his body when he'd made that wish, Spike began to focus on the more pleasurable aspects of eternal life that may have seduced the watcher. There was the sex for one thing. always good to ponder over, and he did so for some time, with only one or two interruptions to his thought process.

Sex and power - he was powerful; there was no doubt about that. Maybe that's what the human had wanted: a taste of true vampire power. Sex and power. sex in power. power of sex. sex for power. power through sex.. Yeah, lots and lots to play with there. He looked around his small lair in the ground, pouting slightly; it was hardly up to these momentous, dark events. They needed somewhere better: an arena worthy of the human's needs. He grinned and made his way over to the old mansion once more. He wandered around his training equipment, eying the weights, the ab bar, the soft mats. and chuckled. It all had interesting possibilities.

Pain would be their pleasure, agony. their dream.

Spike perched on the edge of the mat and lit a cigarette in the dark, its tiny red glow the only real illumination. Candles.. He'd better start some real planning: humans needed to see. Spike suddenly tipped his head on one side, a trickle of a thought unwinding in his head. Humans.. Giles was human.

Spike laughed ruefully. He'd been looking at this all wrong. The human had only been in his body two months when he'd made the wish. It was human desires and a human interpretation of the dark side that had driven Giles. Maybe he should concentrate on that: envision what evil was for a human.

He tossed his cigarette away and lay back on the mat, laughing outright now. He'd come full circle.

He'd thought Angelus unique? He'd thought Angelus the master of evil and pain? He'd dismissed his sire's works as being too dark? Hell, Angelus paled in comparison to the Dahmers, Venables, Thompsons, and Wests of this world.

Spike smiled. They'd play out human passions; they'd tread the dark side of human desires, and enough evil would be brought into this room for the both of them.

++++++++++++++

Giles arrived at the crypt just as the sun's rays left the world.

He stood outside the pale building, so nervous that he thought his legs would not carry him inside. What did Spike have waiting for him? What twisted, demonic sight would welcome him to this hell of his own desires? He pushed open the door, hesitating on the threshold.

Spike was watching Tom and Jerry, his feet propped up on an old box, a beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other.

He turned at Giles' entrance and waved him over to the empty spot alongside him. 'This is a good 'un. Watch - cat's gonna get drunk. 's really funny.'

'Err. do I have the right night? We said tonight, didn't we?'

'Sure did. But me shows are on 'til ten, an' I don't wanna miss 'em.'

Giles sat down as requested and took the offered beer. He drank it rather too quickly and found another in his hand, soon followed by a glass of whisky. He drank them quickly, without considering it too much, and suddenly found himself enjoying the cartoon marathon. The crypt was mellow and warm. He was warm. He turned sideward a little to watch the vampire, undressing him with his eyes, touching him with his thoughts. He was magnificent - okay, he was slouched on a sofa, watching cartoons, drinking and smoking, but he was still magnificent - and Giles wanted him. He would have forgone the dark side if it weren't for the bloody spell. He 'd rather take Spike down to the old bed and reacquaint himself with the body that he knew so well.

He jerked back a little and took a long drink. That was odd. He was only here because of the spell, so he oughtn't to be thinking. other things. He had wished for this; that was the only reason all this was happening. So, what was he doing thinking about Spike in other ways? It was very confusing, and he eyed Spike balefully. 'Have you drugged me?'

Spike turned lazily to him, one eye still on the screen. 'Huh?'

'I'm finding the spell hard to concentrate on, thinking of other things I want to do with you. nicer things to be honest. and that shouldn't be, should it?'

'Like the blowjob, yesterday.'

'Err. I don't follow.'

'Well, I thought it a bit odd like. We're only doing this to play out our roles, ain't we? So, what the fuck did we both wanna do that for last night? That weren't my fantasy 'bout you, and it weren't yours 'bout me. So, why?'

'Dear God! I never thought about it like that. Do you think the spell is getting more powerful? Perhaps it's taking us over completely.'

Spike gave him an odd look, but this was flicked off the expressive face before Giles had time to reflect upon it. 'Might be, cus I'll tell you what, Watcher, I had it all planned for tonight, but all I want to do now is..'

Once more, Spike took the lead and leant into Giles' soft, warm mouth. Giles took off his glasses, heedlessly letting them fall to the floor. He was pushed back by Spike's need, and the vampire lay gently on him, their mouths softly exploring, hands sliding to where they could touch flesh and bodies finding exquisite pleasure in the anticipation of what was to come.

Giles turned his head to one side. 'This isn't right, Spike. Kissing is not going to end this thing.'

Spike pulled him back to the kiss, too lost in the moment to reply, but after a few minutes more, he broke away and said forcibly, 'Maybe we thought this, too. Maybe we wanted this, too. Maybe this has been the undercurrent of our relationship all the time, and that bloody spell just picked up on it.'

Giles pushed him off and sat up. 'I had no thoughts of you at all, Spike - sexual thoughts - until I became overwhelmed by your body.'

'Uh huh.' Spike lit another cigarette and pursed his lips slightly. 'Now, Rupert, you know that's not really true, is it?'

Giles got up and began to pace, the clamour from the TV irritating him enough to allow a flare of petulant temper to show. 'Turn that bloody rubbish off, will you?'

Spike obeyed without taking his eyes off the human.

With the silence, Giles could think more clearly. He took another long drink as he framed his reply. Finally, he turned to Spike. 'You repulsed me, Spike.'

Spike leant back and squinted at him through his smoke. 'Repulse don't make for hard-ons, human.'

Giles cursed inwardly. He'd rather feared this conversation and was surprised it hadn't happened earlier. 'I don't deny I found some of the things you were able to do - some of your abilities - rather interesting but, I assure you, that was purely from the point of view of a watcher, studying a vampire.'

'Oh, don't give me that rot! That's total bollocks, and you know it. You had a stonker every time you saw me, mate.'

'Fuck you, Spike!'

'OH! That's nice! I'm 'elping you come out of the bleedin' closet - out of the goodness of me heart I might add - and you use language like that!'

Giles swung out and clipped Spike across his jaw. The vampire bent away but came back up, his eyes blazing. 'You know I can't hit back.'

'No, you can't, can you Spike?' Giles hit him again. 'That's the second time you've used that 'closet' expression, and can I just say.?' He hit out once more. 'I rather resent it. I was happy until you came to Sunnydale.' One more punch. 'Then there you were with your bloody coat and your damn cigarettes; so bloody superior to everyone else, and when you came into a room, everyone turned to look at you.' He kicked him this time, just for some variety. Spike backed out into the night air. Giles followed. 'What was I supposed to do?' Spike backed rapidly away, but the blow still caught the side of his head. 'I couldn't stop thinking about you, but you were disgusting: everything I'd left behind me in England. Everything I'd fought against.' They'd reached the edge of the cemetery. Giles shoved Spike, and he fell into the road, the human kicking at him, missing him by inches. 'And then, and then.. Thank God! You went and left with that lunatic girlfriend of yours, and I thought, "I'm free of you at last".' He continued to stalk and bait Spike, as the vampire backed away. 'But you came back! You bloody came back, and what did you go and do?' Spike couldn't answer; he was holding his bleeding lip where Giles had emphasised his question with a punch. 'You went and got yourself a technological soul.' They were in a rough part of town now, Giles panting slightly from this bizarre journey. 'And then you began to systematically ruin my life. My bloody bathtub, Spike! I had to have you chained in my bathtub, and all I could think about was what you would feel like to bathe!' Giles' punch sent Spike crashing through a doorway. He ripped apart the debris and followed him in. 'Even when you left, you were still a part of my life, and all I wanted was to escape my passions quietly, but every time you came over..'

Giles trailed off at Spike's grin.

He looked around.

His bowels turned to jelly, and he groaned.

Spike chuckled softly. 'We're here. Well done, Giles.'

Candlelight illuminated what looked to Giles like a medieval torture chamber. He blinked, looked again and realised it was only gym equipment, oddly shadowed and silhouetted in the faint, flickering light. 'What did I just confess?'

Spike cocked an eyebrow at him. 'Dunno. Weren't listening. Think you said you love me.'

It broke some of the tension, and Giles sat on a bench, his legs wobbling slightly. 'It's this spell, isn't it? It must be. I mean, that was..'

Spike straddled the bench behind him and began to peel off the soft jacket. 'Don't worry 'bout it, luv. We'll do this now. Tomorrow, we'll do my shit, and then we'll both be free. I'll go back to the shadows where I'm at home; you can go back to the slayer and the light. This'll be something we don't talk about - like me and Buffy.'

Giles twisted around. 'You and..'

'Come on, Rupert. We were engaged for fuck's sake. Did you think we left it at kissing?'

'OH! Dear God!'

'Told you the hellmouth'd give us bad memories. She copes; you'll cope.'

'So. what.? Spike, I don't think I can go through with this.'

'Shhh.' Spike nuzzled into Giles' ear; his hands crept round to undo the shirt. He slipped it off the human's shoulders and began to undo the soft pants. When they were gaping open, he slid his hand inside, and whether at the cold or the touch of flesh on flesh, Giles gasped softly. Spike murmured quiet words in his ear as he explored.

Giles was beginning to sink under the influence of the soft candlelight and the vampire's hands. Where was the fear in this?

Suddenly, the candles flickered and most of them extinguished. The light changed from soft amber to a much harsher red. Spike continued the soft murmuring in Giles' ear until, with a cry, Giles leapt to his feet. 'What have you done? You stupid vampire! What have you conjured here?'

Spike giggled. 'Some old friends, Ripper. They've come to play.'

Giles stared at Spike's face, suddenly so unfamiliar. Did insanity run in the whole damn family? Spike looked utterly mad.

A deep rumbling filled the room. Giles felt something hit him like a bolt of power to his belly. He collapsed to his knees, begging for it not to happen. Too late - his head was filled with the dark magics once more. Ancient Gods warred for ascendancy in his frail body. He shuddered as they played for his soul. He looked at Spike and hatred, so intense, so vivid, blasted away all his fear and all his hesitancy. He stood up and advanced on the vampire.

The blow, this time, made the previous ones pale into insignificance. Spike flew backwards over the bench, hitting his head on the weights as he went. Bright vampire blood arced out, and the Gods moaned their pleasure. They began to multiply in Giles, making him their vessel. Giles was still there, his rational brain still worked, it just told him there was no escape: that all was dark, and that the light would not return.

Forces of evil poured into him, their way into the world opened. He felt utterly freed from all restraint. He found the vampire where he lay and dragged him over to the most obvious of places. He strung Spike up by his ankles to the overhead bar, his strength phenomenal as the evil had its way. Spike's body swung lightly, his hands not touching the ground. He seemed stunned, the blood from his cut dripping and pooling to the ground.

It gave the Gods their focus. Giles was not allowed to take his eyes off the red trail. but they wanted more; they begged for more, and their begging was painful in its murky complexity.

He found a long knife in his hand and stared at it. The blade slowly turned red, oozing blood across his hand. He had hacked the vampire open from his groin to his throat, yet he didn't even remember doing it.

The warring in his head got worse; images of a blood eagle sacrifice enticed him, but other voices told him to peel Spike until his skin slurred to the floor and exposed what lay within. Yet another urged him to use the soft candlelight, seducing Giles with the counterpoint of that soft light and the harm it could cause to this pale, preternatural flesh.

The knife stripped the sacrifice until its paleness was exposed. Only one dark patch marred the otherwise perfect smoothness of its skin. A particularly sweet voice urged Giles to smooth that dark patch, to cut away what hung from it, but older voices screamed their denial - other plans were being hatched for that delectable vulnerability.

Giles held the candle to his face and felt some of the darkest beings in him wince at this illumination of their wickedness. They writhed and churned, and he squirmed to the churning. He held the candle to the vampire's face to see if evil was illuminated there, but it only singed the skin and hissed in the blood that flowed so copiously from the split torso. Giles tickled the flame over the soft inside of Spike's arms; his skin blackened and blistered, just as a human's would. Giles was tempted to hold the flame longer, to see the vampire flare out to the dark: a demonic torch, signalling his evil. but he restrained.

There was only one place the Gods wanted to play with, only one place they wanted to see the flame lick and caress, only one place where the pain would be sufficient for them.

He held the candle to the exposed, soft tip of Spike's penis until he smelt flesh burn. He cooked the cool, peeled plum. He waited for the conflagration, holding the flame there too long, but the demons were skilful; the body remained intact.

All the energies inside him enjoyed the screaming - they danced on the harsh notes, providing subtle harmonies to the music of Spike's pain. Giles watched Spike writhe as the flesh blistered, peeled, and eventually withered away.

When Spike's penis was nothing more than a blackened stub, Giles removed the candle and picked up the knife once again. He tipped his head on one side, regarding the sobbing creature. What was that incoherent crying for? Did it want something to cool the pain? Giles pulled Spike's balls away from his body and cut the joining skin. It was so generous of him; the spraying blood drenched the burn, a distinct sizzling sound made all the demons hiss in fear with thoughts of their own eternal damnation.

The Gods began to stretch in their power. They wanted to explore the human body they'd been gifted. They discovered his heart, his belly, and they played around his cock, testing it, exploring its power. They wanted to play with their new toys, so Giles went behind Spike and let them look at the pale backside. The giggling in his head sounded like swarms of flies, but at least he could no longer hear Spike screaming.

. until he stuck the knife in him, that is. Then the vampire's screams stilled even the demonic powers, and they made obeisance to the eminence of his pain. Giles dug the knife around, his curiosity piqued, until the blood swirled around his shoes: a river of blood running down Spike's back, streaking through his hair and pooling on the mat. He looked at it staining the muted green for a moment; it reminded him of something, but the thought was lost to the greed of the creatures within him. They wanted to enjoy the blood now, to feel its slickness, to test it to see if it matched their own demonic patterns. Giles cut the body down and threw it over one of the benches.

When his cock appeared in his hand, Giles knew he'd never be this hard again. Pumped up with wickedness, swollen on lust and greed, he pushed into the lacerated anus, thrusting up into the punctured rectum. It was almost too slick, too much blood; there was no grip to bring him off, but he persisted and used his hand as well, griping the unnatural shaft and working it as he filled the red hole.

Spike made no sound. Giles looked at the slim back as he pounded into the bloody hole. The vampire was still, supine beneath the powers that had proved so much greater than he.

Giles felt an orgasm rushing upon him and knew it was borne on an eternity of bloodlust, rape, and power. He was lust. He was rape - he was all the malevolence these creatures could bring to him. When his sperm erupted, it pooled in the gaping anus, and Giles thought he could see it wriggling, alive with the iniquity of generations.

He staggered away from the body and fell back onto the mat, his cock still spurting slightly, the feel of the release agonising.

The voices screeched their fury at his weakness and for punishment, took him to a place he did not want to go.

A stake was in his hand.

He had to use it: the ultimate exploration of his dark side. He advanced on Spike, but suddenly found himself flat on his back, Spike standing over him.

The vampire was ghastly. Blood coated his pale skin; his face was a mask of caked blood; a blackened mass at his belly, oozed pale fluid, and a darker fluid poured down the back of his legs, pooling at his feet. Giles stood up, agreeing with the screeching demons that this foul creature needed to be staked. He went toward Spike once more, but this time the vampire's spinning kick almost knocked him unconscious. Screeching turned to wild, demonic screams of fury. He staggered back up to his hands and knees as their malevolent power over him loosened. The next kick had them howling. They tried to hold on to the human body that had given them so much pleasure, but stronger now, Giles began to resist. He heard words of power that he recognised and became their echo. Every word the vampire uttered, Giles spoke too. Spike kicked him once more - the final jolt - and the dark Gods fled on the tail end of the ancient incantation.

Spike looked at Giles, looked deep into his eyes, and only then allowed himself escape into unconsciousness.

+++++++++++++++

Giles was crying when Spike came round. He was cradled in the watcher's lap, and hot tears dripped onto his face. 'Oi! Sod off.' The voice was ragged, barely understandable, but it was still Spike, nevertheless.

Giles jerked his head back, words tumbling from him, none making any sense. Spike put a finger to the lips and nodded painfully to something in the corner of the room. 'Get it for me, hey luv? Bit. done in at the mo.'

Giles laid him down - as if he were the most precious object in the world - and skittered across to an icebox. He pulled out some blood bags stamped, "Sunnydale Hospital". Wonderingly, he brought them back to Spike, and the vampire shredded the plastic with practiced ease, draining pint after pint of the healing fluid. Giles cradled Spike's head in his lap once more, and the vampire passed blessedly back into pain-free unconsciousness.

He came to after an hour or so with a sudden, sharp gasp of pain, cut it off when he saw Giles' face, and nodded at the blood once more. When he could drink no more, he lifted his head fractionally and cast a baleful eye over his body, pouting. Giles couldn't bear to look, but did, and made a distressed moan.

Spike put a hand to Giles' face. 'Thinking you might not get yer jollies after all?'

'Oh, dear God, Spike! Is that what you think.?'

'Shhh, Rupert. I'm only teasing. Calm down.'

'Calm down! Calm down! Do you know what you did? Spike! Have you any conception of what you just did?'

Spike found it difficult to talk but gritted his teeth to say determinedly, 'Yes, as much as this'll surprise you, human, I did. I summoned 'em; I controlled 'em, and I got rid of 'em. Yes?'

'NO! They victimised you! They've almost destroyed you!'

'Tosh. I used them. When I was done, I kicked their arses outta here. Jeez, they were banished creatures, Giles, cus they weren't that fucking clever when they were 'ere in the first place.'

'How did you.? I mean, your chip?'

'Yeah, like it was gonna recognise you as human there.'

Giles paled. 'I am without words, Spike, to describe how foolish you are.'

Spike looked at him. 'How much of you was in there?'

'What?'

'Did you enjoy any of it. Be honest.'

'Enjoy it. Let me think. Enjoy it. No, I can honestly say that I did not enjoy that, Spike.'

'So, not walking on the dark side again then?'

'When I pictured the dark side, I think I had in mind some rude graffiti and peeing with the seat down. Stringing you up, burning you, raping you..' He stopped and swallowed slowly. 'I - I just raped you again.'

'Well, seeing as I instigated it all, technically..'

Giles groaned, eased Spike to one side and lay down on the mat. There was something sticky all around him, so he crawled to a cleaner spot then lay down again. 'I think I'll kill Willow.'

Spike managed to drag himself over and lay on his belly next to the exhausted human, rethought this and turned carefully over onto his back. 'Don't think that'd be too easy, mate. She'd whammy you.'

'Probably.'

'So. what you want to do now?'

'Honestly? I was thinking of the second stage of this hideous experience - your fantasy - and bringing it forward slightly.' He turned and pulled Spike into his embrace, wrapping his arms gently around Spike's chest, throwing one leg (even more gently) over his nakedness - as if covering him from prurient gaze. He put his mouth to Spike's ear. 'Will you heal? Fully, I mean.'

There was silence for a moment, and then a soft voice replied, 'I think I will now.'

*****
Part 8:

Just before dawn, Giles went to fetch his car and carried Spike, wrapped in blankets, to the back seat. He transported him to the apartment just as the sun came over the horizon. Laid in Giles' bed, covered in a clean sheet to his neck, there was no evidence that Spike's body had been mutilated.

Giles was stiff and formal around him, undone by guilt and the vampire's pain.

For the first four days, Spike slept and fed. Like an animal, he turned in on his wounded self and concentrated on healing: sleeping, eating, sleeping again, always tightly wrapped in a sheet, allowing no assistance, forbidding Giles to look at his wounds.

Giles provided the blood. He sat alongside the sleeping body. He watched, helpless, as the vampire lay absorbing the pain.

On the fifth day, Spike became tetchy, cursing his confinement, but Giles rejoiced and took this return to form as a positive sign of recovery. When he returned from work, he suggested Spike come downstairs for a while to relieve the boredom. Spike shook his head fractionally. 'Nah.'

Giles looked closely at him and tentatively murmured, 'I could carry you..'

Spike didn't return the look and closed his eyes to the indignity, but he nodded weakly. 'Anything just to get out of this bloody bed.'

This was true in its literal sense and when Giles had carefully negotiated the stairs and laid Spike on the couch, he returned to strip the blood-soaked sheets and pillows. Spike was still tightly wrapped in one fouled sheet, so Giles took a clean one down for him, urging him to accept his help.

'Just leave it - I'll manage.'

Giles nodded, unable to think of something to break through this hideous formality that had crept upon them. He made them both some tea and when he turned back, Spike was lying on his side, clean sheet tightly in place, remote control held loosely in one hand.

Giles put the tea down for Spike, and the vampire sat up slowly, vacating the other half of the couch. With his desperate desire to end their estrangement, Giles sat in the empty space. He froze uncertainly when Spike gently lay back down, placing his head into the warm, human lap. Giles held his hand theatrically in midair but, with nowhere else to put it, laid it down on the silent vampire. It was agonisingly embarrassing for him, and he sat wishing some proverbial hole would open up and swallow him. Spike turned on the television. Giles watched it but didn't see or hear it. His mind was still churning over that night, over the screams, the fear, and the pain he'd witnessed.

A few minutes passed. Giles came back to himself with a deep sigh, remembered where he was and looked down, surprised. He had been swirling his thumb around Spike's ear, over the delicate grooves, behind, on the sensitive bone, and up into the soft hairline. Spike was looking at the screen, but it was clear he hadn't really been watching it either. A contented, restful look softened his features. It was first time Giles had seen him pain free since that awful night.

Giles took a deep breath and asked the question that had been plaguing him. 'Why did you do it, Spike? Why sacrifice yourself like this?' It was spoken so softly, it was so much part of the gentle stroking that Spike did not stir at all as he answered equally quietly.

'I wasn't going to. I had it all worked out. I was gonna let you play evil human for a while and then knock it on the head like. But I thought 'bout you an' it all seemed..'

Giles didn't vary the slow speed of his rubbing or change the route as Spike trailed off, but let the vampire speak at his own pace.

'I knew that weren't you, pet. I kinda thought all humans were evil. ya know. if you dig under the surface, look at what lies within. But I was wrong. You're a good man, Giles, and you couldn't have hurt me without a bit of help. So I got rent-a-devil in to play for a while.'

'But why so violent? Why so bestial? I never fantasised about this.'

'Cus of those bleedin' memories you talked about. Thinking about me? Wanting me every time you made love to someone? I didn't want that for you, so I made the memories 'orrible. You won't be fantasising about the dark side with me now, will you Giles?'

It was on the tip of Giles' tongue to say, "No, but I might about this," but he refrained, for this confused him. He felt it would confuse the injured vampire, too.

That night was the start of the healing process - for both of them.

For the next two weeks, Giles tended to Spike with a care and consideration that far exceeded even Spike's unconscious desires.

They rationalised that not playing out the spell was the danger - doing it too much couldn't matter at all. So, Giles bought human blood and forced Spike to drink it in great quantities. He applied lotions to the areas Spike would allow, never being given access below the tightly held sheet. Spike only claimed softly that he would heal, given time, and that that was not the human's concern.

Giles began to arrive late at work and leave early. The thought of Spike lying in his bed drew him against his own volition, back to the apartment. He knew they only had a few more days together, knew that as soon as Spike was well enough they would play out the rest of the hideous spell, and that then they would both be free. So, every moment he spent with Spike seemed important, precious somehow, as if this were an idyllic time that would not come again in his lifetime.

For the first week, he'd slept on the couch but one night, he'd woken abruptly to find Spike, swaying slightly, standing looking at him. He jerked upright and took hold of Spike's arms, easing him down to the couch.

'What the hell? You shouldn't be walking!'

'Come up to the bed with me.'

'What? I most certainly will not! You can't play out any fantasies just yet, Spike, so what would that gain us?'

'Each other?'

Spike blinked slowly; in the cold moonlight that illuminated the room, his eyes seemed unnaturally large, his whole body, thin and vulnerable, and still he clutched the sheet tightly as if that would protect him from memories he didn't want and a future that he couldn't face.

In his guilt, Giles nodded and helped him back up to bed. He lay alongside the pale body, cursing his weakness - how was this part of any spell? He stretched out an arm, though, and Spike came to him. He lay awake for a long time, trying to analyse what he felt. It wasn't sexual, not now, not with so much guilt and with the voices inside his head still whispering at him: perverse, evil things that brought tears to his eyes.

Giles clenched his jaw, bit his lip, and allowed that he was far more traumatised by his experiences in the mansion than he let on. When he was alone, he caught shadows moving out of the corner of his eye. The voices plagued him when he was tired, his resistance too low to fight them off. He feared their residual power over him - that having been a portal for evil, he was still open somehow, still leaking.

So, as he lay beside Spike, his mind was in turmoil, yet he was also the most peaceful he had been for a long time. For if this was not sexual gratification, what was it? What was his hand doing, stroking repetitively over this soft hair? What was his other hand, gently running down Spike's smooth arm for, if this was not sexual? Spike had tried to prevent memories of their time together surfacing? Giles despaired at the foolishness. He was being seduced by a far more potent allure than sex.

The lonely, middle-aged, childless man held the slim, wounded body tightly to him and pressed his face into the soft hair.. It was.. It was.. He pulled away with a grimace. 'You need a bath, Mister.'

Spike, sleepy, relaxed, mumbled a meaningless reply.

'Err.. Spike? As in now?'

'No. I can't do it meself yet, and you ain't seeing me.'

'Your hair is still matted with blood!'

'It won't kill me.'

'No. I suppose not. How much longer?'

'You trying to get rid of me?'

Giles let the renewed tightness of his arms answer this. He felt the vampire relax once more, drifting off into his almost twenty-four hour sleep routine. Giles eventually fell asleep, but he had at least made one important decision. He couldn't do anything about the complex, tangled web of his emotions, but the demons inside him? They could be stopped.

The next day, he held Spike as he fed, made him take more than he wanted and left when the vampire fell back to sleep. He went to Buffy's house. Willow was summoned. He looked at their cheerful, innocent faces and wondered when his life had become so complex.

'I need a spell.'

Willow brightened visibly. 'Spell stuff! Who's it for?'

'Me.'

Buffy raised an eyebrow. 'You?'

'Yes. I was. experimenting with a portal the other day, and I believe it's been seeping into me ever since. I need it closed.'

Buffy turned to Willow. 'Portal closure in your repertoire?'

Willow looked serious. 'If it's not, it will be in a couple of days.'

Giles turned and left without further explanation. Willow made to follow him, excited now by her task, but Buffy laid a hand on her arm, restraining her. She gave her friend a meaningful look and a small shake of her head.

Giles went back to Spike; it was the only place he wanted to be.

The days began to blur; hours became meaningless. There was only Spike and his too slow recovery. but the strange, non-passing of the days had a serendipitous outcome: they became intimate in ways they had not thought likely. That strange feeling Giles had sensed when he held the weak vampire in his arms came back. He had odd thoughts when he watched Spike sleep: sharing books. teaching him things. He found it profoundly disturbing when visions of taking Spike to England began to plague him. He envisioned taking him away from Sunnydale and the Hellmouth - taking him to a place of greater safety. One evening, Giles took up a selection of his favourite books, just to test the vampire's reaction - to see if he was the only one thinking these disturbing thoughts of domesticity.

Spike listlessly eyed the books from his permanently reclined position on the bed, flicking through one or two with a desultory interest.

Giles, relieved by the lack of enthusiasm, relaxed until Spike said, 'I've kinda read all these, pet. I was up to 'm'; get something from 'n', hey?'

'Err. my books aren't alphabetical, Spike.'

Spike managed a weak smile. 'Oh yeah?'

Giles went back down and discovered that, indeed, his books had been rearranged at some time, not entirely in the order of any alphabet he recognised, but enough to make a selection as requested. He picked out "Netherworld Influences on Religious Iconology", carried it upstairs and placed it by Spike.

'Why were the "Watchers' Diaries" put under 'c'?'

'Cus they're crap.'

'Ah. "Interview with a Vampire" under 'y'?'

Spike smiled again, clearly trying not to. 'For. "yeah: not!".'

'Interesting. "Waiting for Godot" in 'u'?'

'Unreadable crap.. See, it's a carefully thought out system.'

'You know, Spike, you really need to get some proper hobbies.'

'Yeah, so.. You gonna read that to me then?'

Giles' heart gave a small, additional, weak beat. 'Read to you?'

'Well, duh! Can't hold the book.. Look, all weak and floppy.'

'I don't remember your arms getting injured.'

'Classic trauma repression, mate; seen it a hundred times. Come on. read. Oh, an' you can explain all the bits I won't understand.'

'And you have remembered that I am not actually immortal? I will die in a few years?'

'Well, if we're still reading it, pet, you can will it to me, hey? "I leave to Spike, sod all 'cept the book I friggin' wouldn't read to him - even though he was incredibly badly injured by me and never whined once about the pain.".'

'Religious iconology can be traced back to the..' Thus began a routine of reading to help Spike pass the boring hours of his recovery. Propped up against the headboard, Spike stretched out alongside him, they became the moments of the day Giles most looked forward to: the calm end to days of stress and worry. Occasionally, as on that first night in front of the television, Spike would lay his head in Giles' lap. If these times coincided with particular signs of pain in his face, neither commented on it. If Giles' hand, stroking over his hair, helped ease that pain, again, they did not openly express these thoughts. So, Giles relieved Spike's pain but only made his own far worse.

These were exactly the memories he feared to have, for this was what had been missing from his life, its lack not made apparent until he had it for this short, unreal, magical time.

The growing intimacy and friendship between them had one useful outcome; Giles stopped hearing voices. He did not fear the dark - afraid to look too closely into corners of the room. Maybe it had simply been shock that had left residual traces of dark energies in his mind. He rejoiced in their absence and gradually forgot to think of that abhorrent time.

As Spike would not let Giles look at his wounds, Giles had no real way of telling how quickly - if at all - the vampire was recovering. He took the recovery on faith, his knowledge of vampires in general, and Spike in particular, giving him patience for the inevitable. If he suspected Spike was dragging out his sick leave? Well, he would delay it himself if he could, so he never called Spike on this suspicion.

Too soon, therefore, Giles woke from a light doze one morning to find Spike propped up on his elbow, watching him. Giles smiled at the familiarity of this, despite the different bodies they now wore. 'You were watching me.'

'I was.'

'Why, may I ask?'

Spike gave a slow grin. 'I was thinking about forest fires and baths.'

'Uh huh.' Giles put a hand to Spike's sticky-out hair and attempted to tuck a few strands back into place. 'I know you want me to ask, so I'll indulge you, just this once.. Forest fires?'

Pleased, Spike began to undo the knot in his sheet. 'Yeah. fires burn the whole lot down - ruin everything - an' it's all weepy-environmental-disaster shit. But nature is indefatigable, Giles; it recovers - always. New an'. better.' With a cheeky raise of his eyebrow, he removed his covering.

Giles gave a low hiss through his clenched jaw.

It was standing proud against Spike's unmarked, pale skin, the shaft, softly muted like velvet, the tip whole, round and glistening from the slit that punctured into its perfection. Spike's wiry curls nestled around the thick root, and the soft, hanging sac bore not a single scratch.

Giles swallowed and tried to speak. His hand crept out, and he caught hold of the swollen penis. He moved it from side-to-side. He suddenly sat up and became frantic, checking, examining - reacquainting himself with the perfection. Spike lay on his back, his arms folded under his head, allowing the intense intimacy. He rolled obediently as Giles' need to see the full restoration led him inexorably to the place he'd last seen as a tattered ruin. That, too, was whole and perfect - closed over: a dark flush of pink on an otherwise flawless body.

Giles sat back, satisfied, but Spike grasped his hand and replaced it.

'You did a lot of internal damage, luv. How's about you check that out, too.'

Spike kept his face averted but gently encouraged Giles by pressing the hand against him. Once more, Giles felt conflicting emotion about this vampire warring inside him. This would be just clinical, necessary. innocent? It was only as if he were taking this recalcitrant childe's temperature.. Not sexual but.. His finger pushed in for the first time ever, and he knew he was lying to himself: it was intensely sexual.

Giles could feel nothing inside but soft, intact walls almost warm to the touch. Spike clearly felt more, for he tensed and swore slightly under his breath.

'Sorry, does that hurt?' Giles began to pull out; Spike's hand flew around to stop him leaving.

'Watcher. just keep doin' it, 'k?'

Spike turned and faced Giles. Giles looked at him and began a more intense exploration. Their gazes never faltered; the human saw dark grey/blue eyes dilate at the pleasure, long blinks of enjoyment and tensing of the facial muscles. He heard soft grunts and watched as Spike's jaw clenched and unclenched. Finally, the vampire turned on his side slightly and murmured, 'Gonna test the whole kit an' caboodle, Watcher!' As he spoke, his penis twitched, and a powerful bullet of sperm shot out between them on the bed. Giles cried out involuntarily but only probed deeper and harder, watching with fascination as another string of cum arced free and drizzled down the pillow.

Eventually, Spike turned right over onto his back, dislodging Giles' hand. The vampire lay panting slightly, sticky, damp, and chuckling. 'See. told ya! Forest fires and. baths! Clear, obvious connection.' He turned to Giles, and his face was full of suppressed glee. 'Now, I'm thinking about some old poof I know who fantasised about washing me. Who could that 'ave been, do you think?'

Giles didn't reply to the provocation but slid down to mirror Spike's position. 'We could start your fantasy now. It could be all over in less than an hour.

Spike sat up and looked curiously at him. 'Shag, breakfast, shag, 'nother?'

'Exactly. All over. Obsession gone.'

Spike hesitated. 'Do you still feel that. obsession?'

Giles looked at him. 'It's worse now than at the beginning, Spike. Then I only wanted to take you, have you, and have you take me. Now I'm thinking seriously of keeping you.'

Spike gave a small pout. 'I'm not a bloody lost puppy.'

'No. Clearly not. But I can't help how I feel, can I?'

'Not 'til this bloody spell is over, anyway?'

'Quite. This spell is warping, twisting the original desires, I think. Maybe the intensity of that hideous night made a mirror image emerge: not pain, but succour..'

'I'm all for succour, mate; you can succour me anytime you want. Succour now, if you feel up to it like!'

Giles continued, pointedly ignoring the interruption. 'I wanted the dark side, but it got bounced off, and now I want to have you as mine. So there you go.. That's my rationalisation of it, which is all rather pointless; the outcome is the same - obsession getting worse. You?'

Spike didn't reply. He crawled slowly toward Giles' mouth. He opened his lips and replied with a kiss, so intense, so powerful, that Giles had to pull away, groaning. 'We must work this through, Spike, or it'll be the death of me.'

Spike nodded thoughtfully. 'I'll lose the parts of me that can't grow back, I think.'

Giles shut his eyes to the inevitable. 'So, what's first?'

'Bath.. I know, I know, it's not in the original, but I'm thinking two-week old sweat an' blood ain't gonna increase me charms none.'

Giles smiled. 'I'll run it.'

He sat alongside Spike as the vampire stretched to the warmth of the water. Spike handed him the soap, and Giles nodded to the almost predestined feel of the moment. It was painful in its irony. Had he really had these desires before the spell, or was the spell falsifying his memories? He washed Spike's shoulders, rubbing soap up into the sticky hair. 'Tell me, Spike, did you ever fantasise about this? When I had you chained up in here?'

'What do you think?'

'I don't know anything any more, vampire. I am a man entirely lost.'

'Do you like being lost?'

'Yes. I think I do. for this minute here with you. for the next few hours that are to come.'

'Don't sweat it then, Watcher; this time tomorrow, it'll all be over. You'll look at me and see a disgusting creature you revile. I'll look at you and see an old ponce I hate. and remembering this'll just make it worse. I'm thinking I may leave Sunnydale when this is over, cus I won't wanna be reminded of being like this every time I see you. Hey! Don't stop! Rinse me off.'

Giles did, but his mind was not on the streaming, darkened hair. 'You'll leave?'

Spike heard his tone and sat up a little to face him. 'You'll be free of the spell then, pet. You'll be glad to hear I've gone.'

'I - I - I can't really imagine I would ever think that.'

'I know. I can't picture goin', but I've been here before, remember? With the Slayer? I was. in love, 'bout to marry 'er.. Would 'ave given me life for 'er. then poof! I woke up on top of 'er, hating her, spitting her out of me mouth, and wishing I could 'ave a bath to wash 'er off. So. been here, done this. Tomorrow we'll want to kill each other when we think 'bout all this. Now, I'm getting colder than someone who's being succoured ought to be, so pass me a towel, and just go with it, Giles. Let's enjoy it while we have it, yeah?'

Spike climbed out; Giles handed him the towel, but as Spike took it, the human pulled the cold, wet body to him, captured his mouth and, running his hands up and down the smooth back, he kissed Spike as if the intensity of this kiss could bind them even when the spell had torn them apart.

He pulled away, took Spike's arm and led him back to the bed.

'Let's start.'

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