Spike nodded and lay down. Giles crawled on top of him, and then there was just one body. They rolled: kissing, biting, licking, nuzzling; their bodies becoming increasingly aroused; their minds closing down to questions, answers, problems, or concerns. They just were.

There was so much sweat. Giles couldn't believe it; he was coated in a slick covering of sweat within minutes. He was embarrassed, but it was so hot, and Spike was so wild, so intense; he'd never experienced anything so physical or so arousing. Giles pulled away to wipe his brow, wishing he could.. Spike grabbed his face and licked a cold tongue over his eyes, lapping into his hairline, nuzzling around his ears, into his neck, down; nibbling playfully at his chest, his nipples; rubbing his hands over the slick wetness; clearly revelling in the humanity of the body in the bed with him.

Giles chuckled at his fears and stretched his arms lazily over his head, but Spike had no intention of letting him do anything lazy. He pulled himself back up and rolled them again, licking and exploring into Giles' soft mouth, biting gently on the lower lip, watching Giles' eyes as they dilated; murmuring soft, seductive sounds of encouragement to the human's passion. and then he was in.

Giles blinked. He swallowed disbelievingly and looked down. On the sweat, on the heat of the moment and the warm arousal of their bodies, Spike had pushed in. Giles looked up in utter astonishment, made to say something, but a finger was immediately put to his lips, and a soft whisper trickled over him, `Just push out, pet.'

Giles frowned but did as Spike suggested. With the gentle relaxing of his muscles, Spike embedded fully, and the vampire let out a low, satisfied grunt of pure, animalistic pleasure. He rose up on Giles, his hands hard on the warm shoulders, and moved slowly, just dipping gently from the waist, riding up and down, up and down with slow, deep movements. Giles began to twist his head from side to side in denial. He'd not reckoned on this. This had not been a feature of their strange relationship before. He had thought he would be the one taking Spike again: his chance to exchange violence for passion. He'd never.. This was never something he'd..

He groaned and lifted his legs behind Spike's back.

Spike's head flew back, and he cried out delightedly, `Yeah.' He began to move faster, harder. He looked for permission and when it was granted, shifted Giles' legs to his pale, strong shoulders. Giles felt utterly. unnatural and wanted to change his mind. He wanted Spike to take his legs down, the position too vulnerable too feminine. but then an intense stab of sexual pleasure shot from his rectum to his balls. It throbbed into his penis. It made him twitch for release. He grunted in surprise. Spike murmured some incoherent noise back at him. and then there was just a constant wave of pleasure building with every thrust.

He'd never felt pleasure like it, far more stimulating than entering a woman - beyond comparison compared to self-gratification. He could not believe he had reached the age of forty never having experienced this. and then there was Spike: Spike's pale body on him; Spike's face screwed up in pleasure just as he'd pictured it would be.

Giles moaned softly when he thought about Spike and the pleasure his weak, human body was giving the vampire.

He tried to put a hand to Spike's face but couldn't catch him. The vampire rose and dipped, thrust and pulled out, lost to the pleasure. but he sensed Giles' movement and opened his eyes.

Spike blinked and smiled.

Giles smiled back and. plummeted in love. It was the final, vicious twist of the spell. He'd lusted after Spike; he'd wanted to hurt him and explore pain with him; he'd wanted to care for him; he'd even wanted to love him like a father, and he'd wanted to be his best friend. but now, now he loved Spike, and he wanted Spike to love him. His thoughts tumbled and swelled as his body began to ride the crest of the wave. As his hands flew to his erection to work it and bring release, his mind spun around the belief that he was in love. He didn't really know what love was - had little experience of it - but what he felt for Spike was utterly overwhelming. He felt he would die if the vampire did not love him back.

They actually came together. Even Spike looked surprised and pleased that, as he jerked rigidly back shuddering his ejaculation deep into Giles' rectum, the human shot sperm onto a slick chest where it merged with sweat on tanned skin. Spike hissed, and forced out a last few drops, humping a rapid staccato into Giles until, absolutely spent, he lowered the shaking legs and lay gently in the warm fluids, panting as if he were alive.

Giles hugged him tightly, wrapped his legs around the slim back and rolled them both, so his heavier, darker body lay over the pale vampire. Then he lifted his head back and said simply, `I love you.'

Spike didn't even seem surprised. With his eyes wide and dilated from the orgasm, his chest still rising and falling with long-remembered habit, he gave a small, shy smile and replied, `I know.'

Giles ran the base of his thumb over Spike's lips, and the vampire caught at it, biting gently. Giles felt a shiver of lust slither down his spine at the erotic, simple gesture. `How could you know? I only knew it myself just now. And I think it will make it easier for me. you know. when I have to remember this. I'll remember that for this moment, in this bed, I loved you. and the memories of this won't seem so base or so disgusting.'

Spike pursed his lips then slid out from under Giles, searching for his cigarettes. Giles watched him from the rumpled, sweaty sheets, feasting his eyes on Spike naked. Spike in his bed. Spike his.. He reached over and pulled Spike back into his embrace, disappointed when the vampire tensed.

`'What's wrong?'

`You think this is base? Disgusting?'

Giles paused. `I think that's what I would think, if I weren't under this spell. But don't, please, Spike - don't ruin this. This is all we have, and then it will be over. I love you now. Isn't that enough?'

Spike seemed to think for a moment then shrugged and returned to lie beside Giles. `So, brekkies?' He turned to the human and grinned.

Giles' heart flipped over at the look. He wondered what it would be like to lay beside that look - that face - for the rest of his life and laughed at his complete entanglement in the magic. `No.'

Spike jerked his head back a little. `No?'

`No. I've just worked it all out, Spike. If I don't get up and make you breakfast, this will never end. I'll have you trapped here in my bed forever! My. little sex-slave.'

`Uh huh. Less of the little, mate. And you're very chipper about this bloody spell all of a sudden?'

Giles sat up and began to play with Spike, teasing a finger across his hard belly, twisting and stimulating his nipples. Spike winced and tried not to get distracted. `I know. I fought it; I didn't want it. I've done everything we had to do, and now I'm just going to bloody enjoy it. It's like being drunk! I love you! There! I'll say it again! I love you! How ridiculous is that?'

Spike began to chuckle. `You've lost it.'

`I know! I'm quite beside myself. I've just made love to you! You!' Giles' hands suddenly became hesitant. He looked down. `Err. what about you? Do you.?'

`It's my part of the spell remember? Can't help it, can I?'

`Say it then.'

`No! I'm not gonna bloody say it. Remember? Evil here?'

`And, as usual, of course, fully understood. But say it anyway.'

`No.'

`I could make you..'

Spike propped himself up on one elbow and raised an eyebrow with interest. `Oh, this I gotta see.'

Giles took hold of Spike's soft, newly restored sac and just juggled it slightly in the palm of one hand, saying conversationally, `I used to do this when it was mine.'

`Uh huh.'

`Hmm. I got to know it quite well. what it likes..' He pressed into Spike's groin, and the vampire hissed his pleasure. `And I got to know what it. didn't like!' He twisted viciously. Spike rose up, cursing, but he was laughing too, so Giles rewarded him by pressing up once more and rubbing the palm of his hand around, scrunching the balls together.

Spike groaned. `Don't stop.'

Giles immediately stopped and bent to the semi-hard penis. He cast an eye up at Spike. `I could do this, too.' He licked swiftly across the tip, then returned and probed into the tiny slit. `You're very supple, vampire.' Again, Spike laughed and tried this time to capture Giles' head, moaning in frustration when the human slipped away.

`Come on, Watcher! Stop pissing around and bring me off, hey?'

`Tell me you love me!'

`No!'

`Why not? It's all meaningless; it's just this wonderful spell!'

`Yeah, maybe, but I'm not saying it until I mean it.'

Giles pulled away. `What do you mean?'

Spike immediately slid over to him. `Yeah, stupid me; what am I saying? I love you. There you go. Now, get me my breakfast!'

Somewhat mollified, Giles busied himself planning what they would eat, so entirely missed the look on Spike's face as he concentrated desperately on the last inch of his cigarette.

They ate in silence, a more sombre mood having fallen over Giles as they progressed inexorably through Spike's wish. He looked up. `I'll call Willow, tell her we. I. need her here this evening. I have no idea how I'm going to explain another 'Do My Will' spell.'

Spike just shrugged.

Giles took the tray downstairs and made the call. He paused for a moment before going back to the bed. Spike was in his bed - there was something about this one fundamental fact that he couldn't get over. Spike had been there before.. He'd been in his body in that bed - so why should this so captivate him now? Spike was waiting for him in the bed. Giles tried to think back through the last few years: all the times he'd stood here and gone upstairs alone; all the times he had almost wept with his loneliness and frustration at the thought that everything he had to give to someone was just going to waste. but now Spike was in his bed. He could give it all to Spike for the few hours he had left with him. Giles frowned and went up slowly. He wanted Spike to always be there; he wanted to look after him, be looked after by him. His head felt as if it would explode. He couldn't control his thoughts, the obsession growing all the time. It was so unfair; they were so near the end, and yet it was just more and more intense. He felt again as if he would die if he lost Spike.. Suddenly, desperately, he began to want it to be over.

Spike didn't seem too bothered - he was dozing, arms spread eagled, head hanging slightly off one side of the bed and feet sticking out of the other.

It was exactly how Giles would have wanted him - exactly how he had pictured him. He slid onto the bed and slipped a hand between the vampire's cheeks, pressing into the sensitive skin, easing his thumb around the tightly closed hole, teasing at the stretch, playing over the puckered skin.

Spike feigned sleep and let the human play with him.

Giles tried to concentrate; he didn't want to lose this moment, but the vampire's supine laziness seduced him. He lay alongside Spike and pulled him into the tightest embrace he'd ever given anyone. Spike twisted in his arms, getting perfectly comfortable, and then stillness descended over them both, languid heat from the afternoon seeping into their tired, stretched muscles. Giles bent his face to Spike's hair, enjoying the freshly washed smell. `Is this how you pictured it?'

Spike nodded his head. `Exactly like this, but not as good.'

Giles squeezed him tighter. `Sleep. I'd like to hold you while you sleep.'

`Someone to watch over me, hey?'

`Umm?'

`Nothing, pet, just a good film. I'll let you watch it with me one day, how's that?'

`That sounds. very nice.'

Spike laughed quietly and was silent for a while, but then said suddenly, `What do you want to be called, by the way.'

Giles, roused from deep contemplation of Spike's lean body against his, didn't get the question. `Called when?'

`Well, I'm not gonna call you Giles: that's too Scooby. An' I'm not gonna call you Rupert cus.. Well, cus you know why. No one is bloody called Rupert. Soddin' hell. Rupert Giles. Your mother had a real good sense of humour, mate, sounds like the fake English bloke in some daft American show. Rupert. Who the hell is called Rupert?'

`It's better than Wesley Wyndham-Price.'

`Well, yeah. You've got me there. But I ain't gonna call you Rupert, or Giles, an' Watcher don't seem friendly `nough now. So, what?'

`My middle name is Harry.'

Spike twisted in his arms. `Harry. "Cry England for St George" an' all that?'

`Exactly. My mother rather fancied Laurence Olivier, I think.'

`Huh. Harry. Can't see you as a Harry.'

`That's why I keep it quiet. Sleep now?' Giles didn't like to point out that as they only had a few hours left, it was rather immaterial what Spike called him. He'd be Watcher again soon enough.

They both dozed, and Giles cursed when he woke. He'd wasted time asleep that he could have used more profitably. He felt Spike breathing regularly in his arms - perhaps too slow for ordinary human breathing, but reassuring, nevertheless.

There was something Giles wanted to do. He shifted slightly so Spike lay on his belly and bent slowly toward the pale cheeks.

He placed the very tip of his tongue into the cool indentation between them. It fitted perfectly and only encouraged him to lick around slightly, as if tasting an unfamiliar sweet. He smiled; Spike was so awake in his feigned sleep it was almost comical. He took a deep breath and pushed hard.

He gained access easily, opened his mouth over the whole soft hole and worked his tongue in and out with great relish. Spike's hand shot back and cool fingers entwined in his hair. The vampire began to raise and lower himself, low moans accompanying these movements. Giles knelt between Spike's legs and slipped both hands underneath the slim form, finding the erection, cupping the balls. and still his tongue made hot inroads into the cool channel. Spike pulled his legs up and stuck his backside high in the air. Giles groaned as the vampire's whole backside was stretched open and available to him, the cock freed from restraint and steel-hard in his hands.

Giles put his mouth around the entire hole once more and murmured his appreciation. Spike gasped at the feel of the breath on his wet skin and the gentle movement of lips on sensitive nerve endings. Giles laughed, pushed his tongue in as far as he could and began a frenzied conversation with Spike's stretched hole. Every word stimulated the puckered skin, every breath tickled. The working of his jaw massaged Spike's perineum. The effort to talk with his tongue two inches into the crushingly tight channel only made the soft organ wriggle and dive about as if it were a living creature.

Spike shoved his whole backside back as far as he could, gave a great cry of delight and erupted cold sperm over Giles, jerking his hands with the human's, coating and joining them with his milky, jetting fluid. Giles didn't want to pull away. He liked his tongue where it was, but he sat back reluctantly, staring at his slick hands, rubbing them together slightly in wonder.

Spike didn't speak for a long time; he rolled over onto his back, not even seeming to need a cigarette. Finally, he said quietly. `Who next?'

Giles looked at him. `You want this over, too, don't you?'

Spike chewed the corner of one nail. `Need, Harry, not want. I need for it to be over. I'm losing myself.'

He paused for a long time and then said almost casually. `I do love you by the way.'

Profound moments, lost in the haze and confusion of the spell - Giles only smiled and said jovially, `I should jolly well hope so, William, as I've just err. tongue fucked you? Is that the right term?'

Spike nodded to himself as if something he feared had been confirmed then shook the mood off and said equally lightly, `That's the one I always use, yeah. So, like I said, who next?'

`Both?' Giles put a hand on Spike's long, lean legs and eased them toward him. He shifted, too, and Spike quickly got the idea. He lay on his side, his mouth gently receiving the semi-hard, human penis as Giles took the cool, spent one in his mouth.

Giles groaned at the feeling of this soft penis. It was so erotic: the possibilities it contained, the thought that it would change shape, harden, all to his command. To suck and be sucked at the same time, it was an exquisite pleasure. He found Spike taking the lead; he followed. Spike licked; he licked in the same place. Spike probed and nibbled; Giles did the same for the vampire. It became a game between them. Spike built up a complex chain of moves that Giles had to remember: a lick, a bite, a suck, another lick - just so - a suck on the soft sac. If he varied at all, Spike would stop and smile at him, savouring the human's begging. Then he would begin again, building up his pattern of moves, Giles desperately trying to remember each one, to add each new one without forgetting the sequence. He so wanted to cum now; he'd never felt so desperately swollen. but Spike did not allow release. He showed Giles how to hold a cock so it could not jettison. When he had a firm grip around the base of Giles' cock, Spike took the tip in his mouth. Giles copied both these moves, and then Spike inserted a strong finger into the warm anus. and the human copied this, too. Now there was a new rhythm to learn: suck. grasp tighter. release slightly to tempt to orgasm. push finger. tighten and control again. suck harder. push and wriggle. scrape fingernail on wall. release hold. feel the surge. prevent it again. suck harder. hold again. stop the tidal wave of pleasure.. Giles frantically tore himself off the vampire's mouth and finger, knelt up in the bed arching his spine, stretching himself back, grasping his erection, pulling it frantically. and Spike now followed him. The vampire knelt, pointed his erection at Giles, and they came together once more, shooting their sperm at each other's bodies. Giles desperately grasped Spike's hair for support, his whole body shaking from the intensity of this orgasm. Spike twisted his head into the hold, pushing lovingly into the hand, and as he bent to the bed - his orgasm almost over - Giles' hand lay as if in benediction on his soft, blond hair.

It didn't escape either of them that this was the vision Giles had conjured up for Spike, and that in this one moment, Giles had become the vampire's salvation.

It was over.

They sank onto the bed and stared at each other. It was all played out. Giles glanced at Spike's watch. `She'll be here soon.'

Spike nodded, looked briefly at the watch, too, but Giles could tell the vampire wasn't looking to confirm the time. He didn't have a chance to think about this, for his face was suddenly seized, Spike raining kisses upon him. Giles saw no reason not to respond. and once more they lost themselves to the tiny space they occupied in the world. Sweat, cum, tears - their bodies immersed in each other's scents. But time betrayed them; they felt its inexorable passage. Giles pulled away, batting Spike off. `We have to shower now.'

`Yeah.' Spike pulled him back, and his kisses delved lower. He took Giles in his mouth; he sucked on the soft cock; he let that fall and took the sac, drawing it, inch by velvet inch, into his mouth, running his teeth over it, nibbling the soft balls together. Giles held his head, pushing him in harder, revelling in the feel of swell and ache, wondering that he was hard again. but he had to end this. He pulled Spike off.

`In the shower. You can..'

Spike nodded and dragged Giles under the water, not waiting for it to warm before he fell to his knees and took the cock into his mouth again. Giles leant back against the wall and just watched the blond head moving on him under the stream of water. Spike clamped both hands to Giles' cheeks for maximum purchase, gave Giles a look. and for the first time, demonstrated how a blowjob should be done. He swallowed Giles. Literally. He took the cockhead to the back of his throat and swallowed, keeping his throat open and relaxed. Giles lodged somewhere half way down the cool neck. He cried out and reached up to grasp the showerhead for support. When he had the human's attention, Spike began to work his throat muscles as if swallowing prey whole. Giles screamed - this was the best of all. He was inside a tight channel that could grasp, work, squeeze, and pummel him.

He couldn't hold out. Spike moaned as warm sperm coated his throat, and when it stopped, he rose up, opened his mouth to Giles and gave it back. They kissed under the downpour until neither could bear it longer, nor ignore the overwhelming sense of impending separation. Spike tore away and flung out of the bathroom, pulling his clothes over his wet body. Giles dried, dressed, and went down first. He made some tea - it seemed a good start for the process of finding himself again. His body felt. magnificent. Every muscle ached; complete sexual satisfaction suffused him, and he felt languid and pleasantly sleepy.

Why couldn't he just go back upstairs to their bed? Why did Spike have to come down? Why did Willow have to come through the door with Buffy?

Giles groaned and turned away.

'Good, you're both here.'

Giles looked at Buffy. 'Yes. Fortunate coincidence. So, are you ready?'

Willow gave a nervous glance at Buffy then suddenly, startlingly, threw some dust in the air around Giles. He coughed. 'What.?'

Willow put a hand on his arm, but he shook it off. 'What the hell was that?'

Buffy, her hands on her hips and a stubborn look on her face, said pointedly, 'Portal, Giles? Do you remember? You asked about closing a portal.'

'What? Oh, that. Well I probably think that was all a mistake actually.'

'I kinda thought you were mistaken. That's why I had Willow go to LA. She's been working with Wesley on a way to detect magical influences.. For me, mainly, so I can't be whammy'd without us knowing it, but I thought she could try it on you, too.'

'Oh. I see. So that wasn't house dust you've just chucked at me?'

Willow shook her head seriously. 'It's detecting spells, Giles. If there is an open portal - or any sort of magical influence - the air will glow red.'

'Uh huh. And if there's not?'

'Then no glow - unless you're a demon, then it glows blue, cus it's got its own sort of double-whammy going on there.'

Everyone stared at Giles. Nothing happened - he remained exactly the same colour he had been when he'd come downstairs. slightly less red if anything as the effects of the extreme sexual activity of the day began to wear off.

Buffy looked at Giles, pleased with herself. `Yea! No spell, no portals open.'

`No spell.'

`Yes. Good, Giles, this is of the good! Why aren't you smiling?'

`No spell.'

`Giles?'

`No spell.'

`Giles!'

`Throw it on Spike. Fucking throw it on Spike!' He could not look at the vampire.

Willow, tears in her eyes at his tone of voice and at the reception of her great work, did as Giles asked. Spike glowed with a deep, innocent blue. He looked around his aura with wonder and repeated Giles' phrase. `No spell.'

As the blue faded, Giles finally looked at Spike, and Spike returned the look.

`Get out.'

Buffy bristled. `Look, Giles, if you need time alone with Spike again, just ask..'

`Not you - Spike. Get out, Spike.'

*****
Part 10:

`What?'

`You heard. Get out, now. please. I'm going to. explode or something. Just go.'

`But..'

Spike saw Giles' expression, grabbed his duster and stormed out. but he didn't go far. He lurked in the courtyard until the humans left, then went back and leant nonchalantly on the doorframe, lighting a cigarette. `Good plan, mate. Don't want them all thinking..'

`Get out.'

`Hey! This is just us now. Drop the..'

`GET OUT! How much clearer can I make this? Something is very wrong with me, and I need some space to..'

`Loving me is wrong?'

`I don't love you! How can I? Without a spell? How the hell can I love you? Forget the face and the body - they're just illusions. I should think of you in a Sloth demon's body! Would I love or want you then? No! Course I bloody wouldn't. You are dead! You are a thing! You are the evil I've fought against all my life, but worse! Even if you were human. my God! You're a man! I am not gay! I don't want to do. those things.. The very thought makes me nauseous.. And with you? Something loathsome, repulsive..'

`Shut up.'

`What?'

`Shut up. You know what? I don't care. I SO don't care, I'm not even gonna think `bout any of this again. There. wiped. Gone. Deleted. Bye! Have a nice life. Short, but nice.'

One of them should have left Sunnydale. neither did, and they kept meeting, almost daily - sometimes more than once a day. Attempting to give the impression that nothing was wrong, Giles refused to allow himself the luxury of not going patrolling, or not having Spike included in meetings. Spike, having now deleted the whole incident, couldn't refuse to meet, for there was no reason not to meet because nothing - in his mind - had happened anyway.

They both calmed down, somewhat, from the initial shock of the discovery. When Spike came into the shop the next day, Giles greeted his arrival with nothing more noticeable than complete and utter disinterest. He didn't look up; he didn't acknowledge Spike's presence; he didn't engage in any conversation that Spike might join too; he didn't go near the research table; and he left on some personal errands soon after the vampire's arrival.

That night he patrolled with Buffy and came across Spike fighting some vampires. Buffy waded in, but Giles stood to one side, watched until he was sure Buffy was handling it, and then slipped away into the night.

Spike had no reason to be affected at all, for he had wiped all memory of everything. From his initial entry into the shop to steal some money, through the four months he'd lived in Giles' body, right up to the moment when Giles had called him loathsome - it was all gone. He was somewhat surprised, therefore, a couple of evenings later when Xander turned up at the crypt. Instead of launching into one of his odd, trying-too-hard-to-be-nice-to-the-vampire speeches, he stopped and stared openly at Spike. `Jeez. Evil one, you've really gotta stop doing.. What are you doing?'

As Spike was only sitting with his feet up, watching telly, he thought this was a bit odd and gave the human a sideward look.

`Spike! You're kinda..' Xander couldn't express what he saw in Spike but waved vaguely at the huge pile of freshly smoked butts on the floor, the empty bottles strewn around the couch, the dishevelled clothes, and the untreated cuts and bruises. `Ah hah! You're on a bender! I know! Been there, done that, and it never helps. Excessive alcohol not of the good, Spike.'

`'S good for me. Piss off, Harris; I'm not in the mood.'

`You've been dumped, haven't you?'

Spike flew at him; his chip fired off at the first light push, and he dropped to one knee, cursing. `Who the hell told you that? What did you hear?'

`Nothing! I just thought. guy on a bender. must be love! Jesus, Spike, I was only guessing!'

`Well, fuck off! I'm.. I'm just `aving a bad day ("bad fucking unlife"), an' I don't need it, `k?'

Xander backed off and went back to the meeting at Buffy's house, stopping on the way to check something out.

In the middle of a conversation about money, he blurted out, `I'm kinda worried `bout the evil dead one. He's not picking up the blood and feedin', and I'm thinking he's looking. scary! Just like you did, Giles, remember? Hey! Giles? You okay?'

Buffy turned to Xander. `He's not feeding?'

`Well, he's not collecting the blood. And he looks. bad, even for Spike. given he's dead an' all.'

Buffy turned to Giles. `What do you think?'

`I think it's completely irrelevant what some vampire we neither know very well, nor care about at all, does. Can we please get back to the matter in hand?'

`Giles! It is important. Spike not feeding equals Spike going crazy, and crazy vampires are my bag. You need to find out why he's not feeding.'

`All right. I'll look into it.' Giles had no intention of giving it another thought, but he hoped this would shut them up.

`He's in love - been dumped.' Xander added this helpfully, and all the girls immediately looked sympathetic.

Willow said innocently. `He'll probably come asking for a love-me-again spell, an' it'll be all broken glass, tears and. ow!' She looked down in utter shock at the painful grip on her arm.

`You will not practice magic of any sort on Spike, for Spike, or with Spike. Willow, do you understand that?'

Buffy removed Giles' hand, frowning at the red mark on Willow's wrist. `I think you need to calm down, Giles.'

`No, Buffy. That's not what I need. I need rank amateurs to stop meddling in my life. Goodnight.'

Concern for Willow, shock at Giles' departure, and general confusion, prevented anyone from wondering why a conversation about Spike's woeful love life had turned so swiftly into one about Giles.

Buffy worked out for herself that Giles would probably not tackle Spike about the feeding, so she did.

The next night when they were patrolling together, she asked quite bluntly. `Why you doing a childish with the blood, Spike? It's there; it's free - take it!'

As Spike could hardly say, "What blood?" - for he had no memory of any free blood - he mumbled a non-committal reply, hoping she would shut up.

She turned to face him and put a hand on his arm. `I don't need you crazy, Spike. If you're gonna help me, you need to be focused. Look at you! You had that bruise two days ago; it should have gone by now. Take the blood, Spike, and stop this. whatever this is.'

Spike nodded with a slow blink of his eyes. and at that moment lost the ability to block out the memories.

He turned on his heel and walked away, ignoring her increasingly annoyed shouts. She caught him up. `Hey! Brood boy! Is this an inherited trait? Look, party at my house - tomorrow night. You come. You be normal. Or I will find out what this is all about.'

`Party? Why do I want to come to a bleeding party?'

`For Willow.'

`The witch?'

`Well, not exactly for her.. It's not her party. but she's been given a hard time by.. She's feeling bad about all that stuff with you and Giles, and I intend to show her that there's no harm done. Be there.'

`No harm done?'

`That's right. Make Willow happy. Got it?'

Spike turned up just after dark. No one answered his knock. He heard voices in the garden and made his way around the house to the back. At first, he thought it was a sacrifice of some sort. A large bonfire illuminated everyone's faces, and at the top of the flames was a figure, just starting to burn. He walked in a daze to stand beside Buffy.

She looked pleased and even said pointedly, `I'll get you a drink.' Spike nodded. He wanted the drink but didn't want to be left standing by the fire with Giles.

The silence between them when she left was acutely embarrassing. Spike toed the ground, twisted his watch around, fiddled with his rings, lit a cigarette and finally said, `What's this then? Thought this was for the witch.'

Giles didn't look at him, and when he replied, his voice was utterly calm and utterly neutral. `I offered. I'm attempting to inculcate some much-needed culture into these American teenagers. It's November the Fifth.'

`Ah.'

Giles didn't attempt to hide a patronising tone. `Guy Fawkes?'

Spike hissed between clenched teeth, `I know what bleedin' November the Fifth is, wanker.'

Silence fell between them again. Spike wanted to move away but didn't want to give the watcher that much satisfaction. Giles was in charge of the bonfire so felt he ought to stay and watch it. He gave the Guy a particularly vicious poke in its belly with a sick, venting his fury on the helpless form. Spike chuckled. `You're not a left-footer then?'

`Absolutely not! I'm celebrating England's unbroken Protestant ascendancy over the Roman Church.'

Spike turned and looked at him, blowing a small stream of smoke into his face. `I think you need to get a life, luv.'

`Don't call me that.'

Spike paused. `It don't mean nothing. anything. You know that. I wouldn't say it to you if it meant anything.'

Buffy returned with Spike's drink but immediately veered off to help with the cooking. Spike picked up a burning stick and carefully lit another cigarette from its glowing tip. `You got fireworks then?'

`Of course.'

`Huh. We always had really big `uns - woke everyone up.'

Giles turned to him for the first time. `Were fireworks common in England in..'

`Not back then. Me and Dru. She loved Bonfire Night. Loved fireworks. And it was amazing what she could do with a rocket. `fore it was lit like'

`Oh! Good God, Spike! Do you mind?'

`Oh yeah, I forget. Two things you can't talk about in the same breath: sex and demons.'

`Don't be bloody ridiculous. You are just an unpleasant memory of something that happened a long time..'

`Shut up. Just fucking shut up, watcher. I can still smell me on you!'

Giles clenched the stick he was holding so tight, it snapped in two. `Don't do this, Spike.'

`No - you don't do. this! Why are you doing this?'

`Because! We cannot happen.'

`We already have.'

`I refuse to believe it. I'm sorry. I don't care about bloody dust telling me something. My brain. my heart. tells me something else.'

`No it don't! Or if it does, your dick says something else again.'

`I'm a man. I don't deny I have urges. but not for you. You're sunk on all fronts - "A", you're male; "B", you're a demon, and "C", I don't like you!'

Spike threw his empty bottle viciously into the fire. `I hope you burn on the bonfire of your own loneliness, tosser.'

`Oh, mature, Spike, mature..' Giles wasted his breath. Spike stormed out of the garden in a swirl of black. He knew he wasn't being very mature, but he wanted something, and he was being denied it for no good reason, and that really really pissed him off!

The rest of Giles' party was ruined. The teenagers enjoyed it, food was eaten, fireworks watched, and fun was had. but Giles stayed close to the fire as if needing the warmth and the comfort of the light. He felt very, very cold, and even the heat of that small beacon did not seem to penetrate or warm his frozen core.

Wondering why he'd bothered to try and be cheerful and normal in the first place, Giles decided a few days later when it was his birthday to keep quiet about the whole event, and have no party at all.

He bought himself a few bottles of something strong and started drinking them fairly early on in the afternoon. He had meant to watch a video, make some calls to old friends in England - have a pleasant, quiet birthday. Getting viciously drunk had not been part of his plan at all, but he'd found the discarded copy of "Netherworld Influences." as he'd rummaged in the bedroom for his address book. It had been kicked under the bed and an old T-shirt thrown over it. He'd picked them both up. It was Spike's black T-shirt. He'd sat on the edge of the bed, and then gone down and poured himself the first, large whisky.

By his third glass, he'd decided to file the book under `r' for "reminds me of Spike".

He sat on the sofa, just drinking and thinking. By late evening, he was so drunk he'd started talking to himself and was actually finding himself very good company. He recited the events of the body swap and agreed that it was all pretty ghastly. He got around to talking about the spell, defending himself against accusations by not-really-there Buffy that he was not `himself.' He looked at her as she perched on the coffee table facing him. She looked too sober, so he rumpled her up a bit and, when he was ready, said conspiratorially, `Buffy. Spike and I are having a homosexual affair.' He collapsed in giggles, tears rolling down his face. He didn't need to look at imaginary Buffy to see her reaction to that.

He sat up and wound her back to the beginning, so she didn't know, and tried another one. `Buffy. I am gay. You could have surmised this from my accent and clothes, but you didn't. So, there you go. I'm gay, and I'm having a relationship - nay, I'm sleeping with Spike.'

He didn't like the `nay'; it just didn't work. Once more, he set Buffy's expression into one of innocent admiration, and said, `I'm sleeping with Spike.. Well, obviously not sleeping, because we're awake all night having sex. You see, Buffy, I'm gay. Spike isn't; he's dead.' It took him longer to recover from the giggles this time.

He had one last go. He looked at Buffy very seriously and said, `Buffy. I'm a homosexual necrophiliac.'

`Why don't you just say that love is love and to be valued wherever you find it? She's slept with the dead, too; she'd understand.'

Giles tried to whirl around but was too drunk and only ended up spilling his drink. Spike came in from where he'd apparently been propping up the doorframe for some time. A badly wrapped parcel landed in Giles' lap.

`Happy Birthday. Thought you'd be `aving a party. Bit sad innit?'

`I felt sad. This suits me just fine, thank you.'

`You gonna open me present then?'

`No. I don't want anything from you.'

`You did.'

`No. I did not.'

`What was all that crap I've just heard then?'

`That was me reminding myself exactly why I'm doing this.'

`Ah.. So you are doing something. Doing what then?'

`Go away.'

Spike perched on the coffee table exactly where Giles had placed Buffy. `Do you know what, Rupert? I think you are so much of a wanker, I'm beginning to question if I want you anymore. Jeez, how would I ever live you down? You're too sad an anorak to take anywhere. So, repress yerself as much as you want, tosser. No need now, though, cus I'm moving on.'

`Huh. From your cast of thousands, no doubt.'

`No, but I ain't so totally unfuckable that I can't find someone.'

Spike did find someone.

He snatched back his gift and tossed it in Giles' trashcan as he left, throwing a bitter comment over his shoulder. 'This'll be wasted on you, mate.' He went to a bar and picked up a wanna-be fledge - good tits, cute arse - and took her home. Promised eternal life if she made the grade, she cleaned and gave good blowjobs. When he was in the mood, he'd flip her over and lay into her from behind - her body too soft to really enjoy, but a reasonable substitute all the same.

Buffy found out about the Giles non-Birthday and, horrified, threw a party at her house. Xander invited Spike, and Spike turned up with Jelly - not her real name, but Spike had been intrigued by the bounciness under her sweater.

She was beautiful; everyone fell into a stunned silence when Spike arrived with her on his arm. He grinned inwardly; pleased by their response and only praying she didn't open her mouth and ruin the illusion. Unfortunately, she did. Without ever taking her eyes off Spike she talked almost non-stop about him: he was perfect; he was loving; he was incredibly good in bed; he was.. Within five minutes of politely asking her how had she had met Spike, Buffy was relatively knowledgeable about what Spike did, thought, and said about almost every conceivable topic.

Spike could hear her voice wherever he went in the room: Spike, Spike, Spike. It grated. He wished he could kill her. He finally went into the kitchen to escape his number-one fan.

Willow rescued Buffy. When he saw the girl by herself, Giles went over and stood in front of her.

`What are you doing?'

She jerked back, a little surprised by his tone. `Who are you?'

`I'm someone who's puzzled as to why you would date a vampire. I assume you do know that Spike is a vampire?'

She gave him an incredulous look and feigned major surprise. `Duh! He's going to make me one, too.'

Giles reared back. `You want to die?'

`Jeez, who are you? No! I want to live forever.'

`Like Spike?'

`Well, I'll never be like him - he's unique - but yeah; I'll get to live forever, and I'll be his Bride of the Darkness.'

`And that is one of his phrases?'

`Well, no, it's mine, but he didn't deny it when I thought of it.'

`And just how is he going to achieve this. marriage from hell?'

`Hey! And what do you mean? Obviously, you don't know anything about vampires!'

`No, I'm beginning to think that myself. So, enlighten me, do.'

`If I'm good enough, he'll bite me, drain me, and feed me, and then we'll be together forever. It's quite simple really.'

`Uh huh. So, he's not told you about his little problem then?'

`Duh. It only happens when he's really tired, and there's ..'

`Told you about his chip. Spike has a government chip in his head that prevents him biting humans. So, what's he going to do? Use a McDonald's straw on you?'

She paused, certainty failing for the first time. Giles almost felt sorry for her. `You're lying. He..' She could not conjure any evidence to contradict this slander and looked wildly around for her beloved. She stormed off towards the kitchen. Giles listened. There was silence for a moment, then a high-pitched howl of outrage, the sound of something breaking, a low, pained grunt, and then Jelly flung theatrically out of house, still wobbling and still beautiful.

Giles pursed his lips and waited. The room was full, so he doubted Spike would make a scene. He was slightly wary, all the same.

Spike came in slowly and looked at him from across the other side of the room. Giles turned away; he wanted to explore what music Buffy had - see if there was anything he liked. He could feel Spike's glare burrowing into him; his skin itched, as if insects were crawling on it.

The voice was icy and very, very close behind him when it finally came. `So, you don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either?'

Giles whirled around. He felt utterly justified in what he had done, not at all confused by his motives. `How old was she, Spike?'

Spike looked unconcerned and lit a cigarette. `She was old enough to teach me some new tricks.'

`You were keeping her as no more than a bloody sex-slave!' He actually tried to snatch back the phrase he had also used with Spike. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have brought those associations into this room now? Giles saw that Spike had also picked up on the phrase, so finished rather lamely, `It was all false promises, Spike. Lies.'

Spike didn't seem too sure whether they were talking about now or then, so hedged his bets with a question of his own. `And she was unhappy, was she?'

`Well, no, but that's beside the point. You lied to her, you..'

`She's unhappy now.'

`She'll get over it. You are missing the point..'

`No, wanker, you are. She had a death wish when I met her. That's why she took up with me - like other people I could mention. So, what do you think she'll do now, Rupert?

`I..'

`No, you didn't think about that, did you? She'll go back to the demon bar where I found her; she'll find herself a real vampire who'll be only too happy to take her to the dark side. I'd give her..' He glanced at his new watch. `Oh. about two more hours of life. Well done, Watcher.'

`Oh, God. Where's the bar?'

Spike chuckled, took a deep drag of his cigarette, then tapped the side of his head. `Funny that. being so low. being so evil. ya know? I just can't remember.'

Giles pushed at his shoulders - hard. `Tell me!'

Buffy came over. `Will you two get a room already?'

They both turned to her. `What?'

`You two! Whatever we're doing, wherever we go, you two are always together. and then there's all this.. Blah! You're worse than sisters!'

Spike backed away, horrified. Giles grabbed his arm. `Buffy, we've got to..'

Spike wrenched free and disappeared into the dark.

Giles was distraught. The girl's face as he'd told her about Spike played in his mind all night. He couldn't sleep and, at first light, set off himself to do the rounds of some bars.

He was amazed he actually found her. First bar. sitting outside on the step. sobbing her eyes out. It was bright enough to cast her shadow, so he assumed she'd survived longer than the predicted two hours.

`Err. hello.'

She looked up. `I hate him!'

Giles sighed and sat awkwardly alongside her. `Yes, I expect you do. He should never have lied to you like that, and as for the stuff he made you..'

`No! Not for that! I hate him cus he's told them all he'll kill them if they help me.' She burst into tears again at the unfairness of not being able to die.

`Spike's told..'

`He went mad last night. You should have seen him. He practically destroyed this one.' She gestured to the bar behind them. Giles turned thoughtfully and looked at it.

`So, you're back together then?' He was glad the girl was too preoccupied with her life to notice a slight tremble in his voice.

`Nah. And that's her fault.'

Oh, God, another one? 'Whose fault?'

Jelly turned to him with a conspiratorial look. `See, he was on the rebound when I met him. I know that, cus he was all weepy and sorry for himself. Jeez, you should have seen him; it would'a made you so damn sad! I've never seen a man cry before, and I just wanted to make him all better. I did make him forget her; I know I did. or thought I did. But he said he didn't want to see me anymore, and I just KNOW he's gone back to her.' She began to weep again.

`Why don't you go home?'

She gave him a look, and he took his cue to leave. He wandered to the shop, thoughtful and confused.

He tried to settle his mind by some routine paperwork. Anya had been nagging him to do the monthly accounts for days. Resigned to the work, he made some tea and sat with the books in front of him. The girl's words kept coming back into his mind. With a light curse, he began the calculations.

By lunchtime, he'd worked out he was over three thousand dollars out, but he couldn't find the missing money. He flicked further back through the book and thumped the table in annoyance as his neat, blue penmanship suddenly turned red, then purple. with one or two pages in pencil. The book became untidy; scrawled comments and small illustrations had been added to the neat columns. The final straw was the cigarette ash stuck between the flaps. He cursed and tried to make sense of it; by nightfall he had found almost three thousand dollars in one column, but had lost over five in another.

He cast a glance up to the ceiling, berating the fates once again. Why? Why was his life fated to be entangled with the unlife of this one blond vampire? It was last thing he wanted to do.. He'd rather do anything else.. He went to Spike's crypt.

He picked up all the books, the boxes of receipts, and his calculator, and walked determinedly towards the cemetery. He'd get Spike to show him what he'd done with the money, and then he'd leave. It would take half an hour at the most.

*****