Buffy and Xander bounced around excitedly when they were completely certain that Giles was returned to his own body. Helpfully, Xander dragged him by his arm to the large mirror and pointed. `Look.'

Giles did look. He saw a tanned, thin, handsome man, staring back at him. Xander laughed at the expression. `Spike's been taking good care of you, man, while you've been gallivanting around like the undead.'

`Good care of me. Yes.' Giles winced again as he walked back to the sofa, sitting down very carefully. `Do you all think you could leave now?' There was a slightly stunned silence in the room, and the youngsters looked at each other with puzzled faces.

`You are okay, aren't you Giles? All. back in properly? Nothing. out of place?'

`Absolutely. I am quite myself again, only. it's been a rather tiring experience - as you can imagine - and I'd just like to get some sleep.'

He went straight to the bathroom and soaked in a deep, hot bath for a long time, trying not to think. He could only assess the physical injuries he could actually see, but these were extensive enough. His torso was covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks. His neck throbbed and was black and yellow: the deep bruising still coming out. One wrist was too painful to move.

He stood naked in front of the full-length mirror and looked at himself. He turned sideward and looked at his hipbones. He turned fully around and peered over his shoulder. He looked as if he'd sat in something black: his thighs and backside, one mass of deep bruising.

It was like recalling pain - you remember it obliquely but can't conjure up the actual agony. He could remember raping Spike, but it was as if he had not actually been there at the time: no conscious volition over the act. Nevertheless, guilt permeated deep into his soul. He had not been strong enough to control the dark side of that demonic body. In four months, he had proved to have less humanity than its original owner. Giles looked at his face once more and saw - beyond the bruising, beyond the sharp edges and the handsome, tanned appearance - someone he could no longer respect. Self-respect was the most fundamental of his principals. Where could he exist now that it had gone?

Spike sat on his crypt until the first rays of dawn nearly reached him, then he jumped down and went inside to see if he wanted to live there anymore. Nothing seemed to have changed, but it was all different: he was different.

The intense feelings of victimisation were fading as his own natural strength and power returned to him. With no physical injuries, it was hard to fixate on the emotional. but the experience had thrown him completely.

He flung himself down on the bed and put his head under a pillow.

Where did his demon lie? Some demonic energy had remained in his body; it so overwhelmed the human that he had sunk beneath its powerful energy. Hadn't Giles just become what he, William, had become in far less than four months? Spike could still remember those early days now; coming around in Angelus' arms; feeding from him; needing to kill and hurt and take and penetrate - anything, everything - just to feed the evil inside him. He hadn't felt like that for a long time. His body was now under his control - most of the time - but Giles, cast adrift, had had no reference points, and he had failed.

Spike wondered what the watcher was thinking and feeling now and bet he was not taking the situation with calm equanimity.

Naturally, they avoided each other; Giles, by the simple expedient of not going near the cemetery; Spike, by not leaving it. The vampire would have had no contact at all with the others - and thought that he did not miss it - until two days later when Xander came hesitantly into his crypt.

Spike was reading and didn't look up. 'What do you want, wanker.'

'Uh huh. Nice with the 'tude, Spike - for a gift horse cometh.'

'Well I ain't looking in yer mouth. or any other orifice. So, sod off.'

'So. you don't want these then?' Xander held out the two blood bags he'd been carrying behind his back. and he so wished he hadn't been chosen to carry them through a Sunnydale cemetery on his own after dark!

Spike looked up at that but tried not to appear too eager. 'What do I have to do for those?'

'Nothin' apparently. Giles said..'

'Giles?'

'Sorry to disappoint you, Spike, but I'm not funding the food.'

'What did he say?' Spike had returned to his book, so his question was just thrown casually out into the space between them.

'He's set up a standing order kind of thing for you. You can collect a couple of pints a day; he's paid in advance. and hey! Did you hear about that creepy guy who worked there? He got a little damaged around the vitals apparently. Wince time, Spike, for all males on the telling of this story.'

Spike still resisted looking up. 'Weren't me. Chip, remember?'

'Nah, human apparently. looks like a revenge gig. So, where'd'ya want it. and I am referring to the blood!'

Spike stuck out his hand but still did not look up. Xander toed the ground, hung around, poked and prodded into corners. 'What! What do you bloody want?'

'When you coming back, Spike? Kinda weird now and need consistent evil to know where. and obviously, I'm not saying you are evil. or consistent. and is that actually better? Trying not to rag you here, chip boy. and that probably wasn't of the good, either. So, shutting up now.'

Spike couldn't help a small smile at the boy's earnestness. ''Least yer tryin', pillock. So, what's so wrong that you need the big evil back?'

'Well, Giles is..' Xander stopped and shook his head. 'This sounds even weirder out loud than it did in my head! Giles is kinda drinking a lot and, without him at the..'

'Did anyone ask him why?'

'Ask him why what? Oh! No. don't need that question explained. Well, we kinda put it down to all that blood and being. in there. And again, no disrespect intended to the dead aspects of being you, Spike. Good body to be in. and God! Did I actually just say that? Leaving now. Drop by, Spike. Do something bad. Needed, 'k?'

Spike pouted slightly when the messenger left; he was trying to translate a particularly difficult passage, but the words just swum around on the page. He cursed and flung the book into the corner.

Let him rot in the hell of his own making.

What did he care?

He didn't.

He cursed once more and grabbed his duster, following the human back to town.

Spike leant in the open doorway for a moment, watching the scene inside. Buffy and Willow were making bright, artificial chatter in the kitchen as they made brownies together. Xander was still in his coat and was watching Giles anxiously. Giles was perched on one of his bar stools, staring at some sheets of paper in one hand. In his other hand, he held a large tumbler of something amber and inviting. Spike didn't think he looked drunk. He looked. good.

He pursed his lips and went in, giving a shy nod to Xander, who grinned at him and then threw himself onto the sofa with the remote control, as if all was now right with the world.

Giles stilled with his glass halfway to his lips and said softly, 'Get out.'

Buffy looked up from the tray she was scraping clean. 'Hey! Giles! He's kinda earned the..'

'Not Spike - you. All of you. Get out of my house, please.'

This fell like a grenade into the domestic scene; they looked about, bewildered. He moderated his tone, but repeated. 'All of you. Please.'

Spike helped himself to a drink as the others left. Giles got up and shut the door, laying the sheets of paper down as he did so.

'What ya got there?' This was calm, neutral, mature, and set just the right tone. Spike congratulated himself on his brilliance.

'My credit card bill.'

'Ah. Oh.'

'Quite.'

'Guess that's what's up with the drinking then?'

Giles looked puzzled. 'The drinking?' He looked down at his hand then at the door. 'Oh.. Silly children. That's why you're here - told you I was becoming an alcoholic, did they?'

'Kinda, but it's not why I'm here, Watcher.'

'Ah.'

Spike resisted the temptation to say "Quite" in a facetious voice: he was only just holding it together as it was. He sat on a chair where he could see Giles. 'So, how are you? You still look good..' That was not so brilliant or so neutral, and he trailed off uncertainly.

Giles took his glasses off and wiped a sleeve across his face. 'I've been having a throw out actually. I can't wear ninety percent of my clothes anymore, but the rest are survivors from a rather bizarre seventies' time warp. I think I may go shopping at the weekend.'

'If you've any money left, that is.' Spike risked a small, teasing glance up at Giles, but it was lost on the watcher as he stared unseeingly at Buffy's half-finished brownies.

'What did you spend my money on, Spike? Anything I could take back?'

'Nah, made sure of that. Look, got meself a watch and had it engraved, just so you couldn't. Like it?' He held out his new Rolex challengingly.

Giles made no comment - it was hard to criticise or chastise someone you had raped two days ago.

He didn't look at the watch either, for that would mean looking at Spike, and he didn't think he would ever do that again. 'Why are we making meaningless small talk, Spike?'

Spike chuckled. 'We're not.'

'How can you bear to come here like this?'

Spike leant back in the chair and crossed his ankle over his knee, holding onto it and playing idly with his laces. 'Hear you did the blood guy. Inventive, Ripper - hope he screamed.'

'He did: cowards always do.' Probably the worse thing he could ever have said slipped out before he made the connection. When he did, when Spike's screams echoed once more in his head, he looked up, an anguished expression making him look tired and very stressed. 'I am so sorry. I didn't mean..' He stopped and took a deep breath. 'There is no excuse, no apology that would be sufficient, Spike; so I'd rather decided not to insult you by trying.'

'You were the one who got hurt, mate.'

Giles turned to him, jerking his head back a little. 'Don't be..'

'Come on, Giles. Ain't my bottom needin' careful handling right now, is it?'

'That's semantics, Spike, and you know it. Don't confuse this with that bodyswap debacle - I raped you.'

'I disagree. Technically, I raped you.'

'NO!' Giles got up and came toward him. 'No! No technicalities here, Spike. There are no technicalities where rape is concerned. It's always black and white; it's always victim and victimiser, good and bad, weak and strong.'

Spike stood up and faced him angrily. 'No technicalities? You total pillock, Rupert. Technically, I was you. Technically, you were me. Technically, you had my demon to contend with. Technically, my demon wanted you before all this and was just sneaking one in while 'e didn't 'ave the chip. Technically, you wanted me, too, before all this. and you've got some weird magazines upstairs to prove it. Technically, we were bloody. this far. from shagging 'fore it happened. Technically, you weren't even there, Giles, and couldn't have stopped me - my body - if you'd wanted to. So, technical that up yer bottom and 'ave another drink, mate!'

He stormed out, came back in, ripped the credit card bill in half with a theatrical gesture, and left once more.

It took Giles a while but, eventually, he sorted this into: Spike had wanted him, he had wanted Spike, and they had been incredibly lucky to have the last four months and the rape to show them this. Giles knew Spike was bizarre; he had never put him down as utterly insane.

It actually made him chuckle - the first time in many months. He put down his unfinished drink and rubbed his hands through his hair. Wanting. Spike! Shagging with. Spike! The chuckle turned into laughter, as he thought about this. He didn't. shag - and what a perfectly awful word - with anyone, let alone a vampire. A male vampire! A male vampire he hated! Him - a human, a man, a watcher - wanting Spike! It was the funniest thing he'd heard in years, and he was still chuckling over it when he got to the shop the next day.

Small things - life's ironies turn on small things. He was putting some money away in the till when he idly thought about the spell and how it had all begun. He moved on, thought about other things but, like a huge surge that had been building unnoticed behind the dam, that small thought of Spike made the rest of the vampire's assertion - the part he had avoided thinking about - wash into his head: Spike wanted him.

Giles reared back and actually clutched his head slightly. Anya gave him a worried look and put down the things she was dusting. Giles shook his head at her, giving a small reassuring smile. He gave it a moment, and then went quietly into the back to think.

That was another very, very bad move. No one had even cleared up the blood. Perhaps no one had been back here and seen it. It stained the pale green mat a deep, rusty brown. Spike's blood. spilt as he'd.. No! His blood. Giles frowned, as he looked at it, confused.

That was his blood. and Spike wanted him.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Giles had no one to turn to. He'd gone through the most intense experience of his life, and he had no one he could share it with, except, of course, for the one person with whom he could not (or would not) share. Alone, isolated from his young friends, Giles became increasingly morose, until he woke up one day and decided that speaking to Spike again was his only option.

He walked slowly to the crypt in the soft, early morning light, the route now familiar, the crypt quite like home. until he opened the door.

He had to give Spike his due: the money had been well spent. An inviting couch faced an impressive TV. Stacks of new paperbacks littered the floor, and a half-unpacked and assembled music system spilt from a box in one corner. He shook his head and climbed down wearily.

New additions improved the downstairs, too: rugs on the floor, lamps illuminating dark corners. It was softer, more. homely. The vampire was asleep, twisted into the sheets. Giles looked at him for a few moments, remembering the feel of that body from the inside, but the memories confused him too much, and he coughed, knowing Spike would wake instantly.

He didn't. The pale figure remained still. Giles gave a small, puzzled frown at the body and put a warm hand on one cool shoulder. Spike jerked awake, a defensive fist shooting out and catching Giles accurately on his jaw. He staggered back, not badly hurt, but the vampire curled into an agonised ball, holding his head. Giles knew exactly what that felt like now and winced to think he had caused it needlessly.

Eventually, Spike sat up and pulled the sheet modestly around his waist. He looked at Giles and, considering the manner of his wake-up call, the look was neutral, almost bordering on friendly. `What's up?'

`Why didn't you wake up when I came in?'

`Err. what?'

`Spike, I stood here, looking at you; I coughed, but you were dead to the world. I could have been anyone, anything!'

Spike rummaged in his bed for his cigarettes and lit one. When he had a satisfying amount of nicotine, he answered neutrally, `I've not been sleeping well. anyway, wanna take this upstairs?'

Giles couldn't help a small smile. `To all my new stuff, you mean?'

`I was you when I bought it, so it's mine. technically.'

Giles began to make his way upstairs. `You like technicalities, don't you Spike?'

The vampire climbed out of bed and pulled on his jeans. `So, we back to that, are we?'

`No. We are not, Spike. I didn't come here to talk about that.'

Giles sat on the couch, and Spike hopped up onto one of the tombs. `What did you come here for, Watcher? Thought you'd seen enough of me recently - inside and out.'

If Spike was trying to provoke the human, it didn't work. Giles looked at him frankly then, polishing his glasses, said quickly, `I wanted to talk about some of the other things, Spike. before.. Well.. Things happened to me, Spike. to both of us. and I can't talk to the others.'

`Cus they couldn't deal?'

`Exactly. It's not black and white enough for them. Buffy asked me what it felt like to be you, and I could only tell her it was complex. I had no words to use to describe it to her.'

`But..'

`It was incredible, Spike. For those first two months..' Giles got up and began to pace. `You are so strong, so invulnerable, so hard, so freed from all our petty inconveniences. It was.. You are. addictive.'

`If you wanna join me like, let me know. We could do it now and, come tomorrow, you'd be just like me.'

Giles just smiled rather sadly at this. `You don't get it, do you Spike? That's exactly what I'd not be. If I were turned, I'd be a vicious, evil, soulless demon.'

Spike bristled. `Hey! What you saying human.? Evil here now. remember? An' you can't judge what being me is like, cus you took your stinking soul to my body with you. Demonic bits of me a tad watered down there, mate! I'm evil and don't you forget it!'

`No, you're missing the point, Spike. I was able to watch you when you were freed from this body. You. whatever you are without the corporeal form. the you inside. what lies within.. Damn it! I lived with that you for two months and got to know you quite well.'

`No! You saw me squished inside your body.. Still evil, just too bloody tired and weak all the time, and too bloody busy pissing and shitting to do anything more interesting.'

`But that's not true, is it Spike? Look what you did to me, for God's sake! You spent all your time working on my body when you could have been out killing, raping. causing mayhem. And this body is anything but weak now.'

`Yeah, like the slayer would have allowed that.'

`Was that the only reason you didn't?'

Spike jumped off the tomb and sat on the couch, picking up the remote control. `Anything else you wanted, human? Cus I'm a bit off me schedules still and need a quiet day.'

("You said you wanted me, Spike, can I ask you about that?") `You're feeding well?'

Spike turned and gave him a slightly incredulous look. `Yes, Mummy, I am,' but then added more generously, `thanks for that, pet.'

Giles nodded distractedly. `I think that was the worst thing of all. except obviously the..'

Spike sighed and turned off the TV again. He could see the human hadn't done. Giles came forward and sat on the far end of the couch. `How do you stand it, Spike?'

Spike shrugged. `It ain't so bad for me, I guess. I'm more conditioned to hunger. I don't know.. I've never killed a cat and eaten it, so you must have been worse than me.'

`It was dead already. and how did you know?'

Spike only looked at him and made a face, as if still tasting something unpleasant, but then brightened and suddenly, unexpectedly, reached out and pulled Giles' T-shirt off his neck a little. `Preferred the aftertaste of this.'

Giles reared away, shocked. `How can you joke about these profound things, Spike? I drank my own blood - your blood. technically.' He made a face at his unexpected use of that last word, and they both chuckled. It relieved the tension, and Spike turned sideward in the couch, leaning back against the arm, crossing his legs casually. He lit another cigarette from the stub of his previous one, flicking that carelessly across the floor.

`What do you do, Giles, if you don't laugh? You weep and wail and get all angsty. An' there's one thing no one likes: an angsty vamp. They're a pain.. All broody and swirly black coats.'

Giles laughed. `You got anyone in mind there, Spike?'

Spike didn't reply, just flicked up one eyebrow and continued to smoke.

After a moment, Giles asked softly, `Did you weep, Spike? Was it all just a joke to you?'

Spike pursed his lips and studied his cigarette for a moment. `When you were hunting me.. When I was too damaged to run, or fight if you'd found me - that weren't much to laugh at, no.'

`Why didn't you go to Buffy?'

Spike looked at him and then away quickly. `What would she do every time she looked at you now, if she knew? Do you think she'd 'ave understood that it wasn't you: that technically it was still me?'

`No, I don't think she would. I don't, and I was there. I still don't see why you aren't more. furious with me. or something.'

`Do you want me to be? Is that it, Giles? Do you want me to shout and scream and try to hit you? Would that make you feel better? Well, sorry, mate, I'm not going to do that. You were driven, Giles, just like I am sometimes, and you did what you needed to do.'

`No..' Giles' voice was raw, ragged with pain. `I understand what you're saying, I do, but you see..' He looked at the ceiling of the crypt as if for forgiveness, but found none there. `There was something of me in there when I.. In that original bloody wish, do you remember? I'd just told you to piss off for good, and then I wished. that I hadn't said that, because I would. miss you. Oh, bloody hell, that's not what I mean at all..'

Spike leant over and blew a long mouthful of smoke into the human's shocked face and when Giles opened his mouth to complain, he kissed the warm, opening lips.

Giles reared away. 'No! What is this? This is ludicrous!'

Spike shrugged and leant back against the arm of the couch, smoking slowly and leisurely.

'What do you want, vampire? You can't want me, not really. Tell me the truth, Spike.'

'I do want you, Giles. But maybe not as you think. I want..' Spike cast a glance at the ceiling, too, but it had no more answers for him than it had for the human. 'I want someone who wants what I want: release, passion, fun.' He shrugged slightly. 'But no commitments, no angst, no complications. I want someone who will get the game, Giles, who just wants to take and give, and not get all fucked by it. I need someone old, like me. an ancient soul for an ancient soulless being.'

'My God! You see a soulless fuck partner when you look at me? How can you be so mistaken?'

'I'm not mistaken, Giles; I just see things other people don't see; you know that; you've seen it, too, now. I look beneath the surface of people. I smell their arousal or their hatred when they talk; I sense their needs and confusions. I've always sensed your need to explore my darkness, and I know how hard you fight it, too. You see the happy families, don't you Giles? You watch the happy couples with their fucking, lovey-dovey ways, and you want to rip and tear them apart, just to prove that you can. Marriage? It's a challenge you want to destroy. You're trapped in that closet of yours, mate, and it's made you bitter and twisted and. oh, so ripe for the picking. I want that bitterness; I need those twisting limbs. We're so alike, Giles.'

'No. This can't be happening. I am not having this conversation with you. I've never heard anything so ridiculous. You stand for everything I revile, everything I rejected. I loathe you most of the time - find you unpleasant the rest. I'm utterly flabbergasted by your arrogance, Spike.'

'That's all as may be; don't make no difference that you hate me or that I disgust you.. You still want to know what I feel like. You still want to hear me when I cum. You want me to make you cum, feel my complete absorption in your pleasure. I can smell it now, human, you're hard, just thinking about it. I'm that toy you were never allowed to have, those friends you couldn't win, that job that rejected you, that woman who dumped you. I'm everything you've always wanted but couldn't have. I am temptation, Giles. I'm the devil you fear to lose your soul to.'

Giles stood up, backing away.

Spike watched him intently. 'Next time we're together, Rupert, and all the children are there - know I'll be wanting you and picturing us together. Think about slipping away up to your bed together, none of them suspecting. Have a drink, Giles, feel yourself relaxing, and know that you could try it, just once. Remember. Next time.'

Giles stumbled from the crypt to the safety of the morning light.

Spike switched on the telly and watched it mindlessly for hours. He was amazed that, having lived in his preternatural body for four months, having shared his house and his life, the watcher had actually been taken in by the complete bullshit he'd just spouted. but it had been interesting watching and sensing his reactions. Spike had a new problem now though, and it took his mind off his favourite shows: he'd half believed his own bullshit. He was coming around to the very disturbing thought that shagging Rupert Giles might be something quite memorable. Next time they were together, he had the distinctly unnerving thought that he'd be the one thinking of the bed upstairs. When he saw Giles drinking, he'd be the one thinking of their bodies rolling and tumbling in the warmth of their arousal. He'd painted a picture for the human that was too close to the truth, too close to what his demon wanted. What he, Spike, wanted - the Spike that lay within the demon - was even more complicated, and the only thing that came into his mind as he tried to probe this, was the feel of fingers stroking him as he lay, warm, human, and almost forgiven, in a bed with a watcher who had temporarily borne his likeness.

*****
Part 6:

They were at a complete impasse now, neither coping as well with the rape as they pretended, neither as affected by it as they felt they ought to be.

They would not have met - both still keeping studiously out of each other's way - except, once more, for Spike's new puppy. Xander, trying not to ride Spike too hard, assumed he had to be nice to him instead. So, whereas Spike was tempted to point out that leaving him alone could literally mean. leaving him alone, Xander made frequent visits to the crypt to prove he could 'do the nice'. Spike didn't really object - Harris was someone even sadder than him, and they always sparred eventually, making that part of his life seem normal and predictable.

One day, Xander suddenly cried excitedly, 'Hey! Vid-fest tonight. We're watching "Evil Dead". Spike, please, come over and make it. interactive viewing?'

Spike smiled but, as his back was to the boy, this was not seen. 'Who's gonna be there?'

Xander frowned at Spike's back. 'Everyone, I guess: Buff; Will; Tara; not Dawn obviously. scary, scary movie!'

'No one else?' Spike stood back, admiring his completed sound system. 'What'd'ya think?'

'Cool, Spike. What you gonna play? Grateful Dead?'

'Yeah, yeah, take the piss, mate.'

'So, you coming? Round eight?'

'You buying beer and snacks?'

'Snackettes already bought and just awaiting the eating.'

'Okay. But if the film gets too scary, I'm leaving.'

'Weird, Spike.. You are one weird vampire.'

Spike arrived, chucked his coat onto the stair rail, and went to the kitchen to get a beer.

Giles was there, opening one himself. They stared at each other, dumbfounded. Spike was totally thrown. The much-vaunted, cool nonchalance on seeing and thinking about the human did not materialise; instead, he felt a small squeak threatening, and clamped his jaw shut, ripping into a beer furiously.

'What the fuck are you doing here to watch "Evil Dead"?'

'I'm not going to watch you, Spike; will you get that ridiculous notion out of..'

'Not me, you total wuzzock! The film? "Evil Dead"? I wouldn't have come, if I'd known you be here.'

'We're not watching "Evil Dead" - is there really a film with that name? - we're watching "Pride and Prejudice". The boxed set.'

Spike paled inwardly and sat down shakily on a chair by the door. 'He lied.'

'No, I suspect he was lied to. Willow is choosing..'

'Oh, God. I'm leaving.'

'Good.'

'Uh huh.'

Giles looked at him. 'Don't, Spike. Don't start some complex rubbish in your head about what I'm thinking. This is Buffy's house. I am NOT - do you hear? - NOT thinking about taking you upstairs to her bed!'

Spike spluttered his beer slightly. 'Jesus! What you sayin'? Hardly! All those bleedin' doilies and lacy bits an'. fuck! I'm losing me stones just sayin' those words!'

'Spike! I am not not thinking of it because of the d�cor of her bedroom. Get a grip! I'm not thinking of it because she's the Chosen One - the one above all others.? Chosen to fight the forces of darkness.? I'm not having hanky-panky in her bedroom with said force of darkness.'

'Oh. help! Hanky fuckin' panky? Pride and soddin' Prejudice? Lace? Doilies? I'm lost!' Spike ran out of the back door, desperately wondering where he could go to save his tattered streetcred.

Giles stood, dumbfounded, as the vampire stormed out theatrically. Something jarred, something wasn't right, but he couldn't put his finger on what that something was. He took his drink thoughtfully back into the living room and sat with the youngsters, watching the video but not seeing or hearing it.

At the first major snack break, he got up. Spike's duster was still hanging over the rail. He looked at in, pondering its meaning - it didn't have any; it was just a coat, but it gave him an excuse to go to Spike's crypt.

He slipped out of the back door quietly, not wanting an inquisition. He thought he'd made an easy escape, until a small arc of glowing red caught his eye. He turned, catching Spike throwing a cigarette stub away furiously. 'Are you every bloody where I am these days, human?'

'You're sitting just outside the bloody house I was in! What do you expect? And here's your coat, although why I bother..'

He thrust it at Spike, and the vampire snatched it back. 'So, okay, piss off now, then.'

'Spike, you're the vampire; you "piss off".'

'Right, I will.' He didn't actually move, though, but rummaged in his coat pocket for another pack of cigarettes.

'I've got your card marked, Spike.'

Spike gave him an incredulous look. 'Watcher. You have GOT to stop watching Jane Austen. That really don't wash as a threatening line.'

'It wasn't supposed to be threatening, Spike. It was just a statement of fact. I know where you are. coming from. where you live. what your gig is? And personally, I prefer Jane Austen.. Anyway, I see right through you, Spike.'

'Is that so?' Spike squinted at the human through the smoke and blew some in his direction. Lazily, he got off the table he'd been perched on and began his best saunter away, shrugging on his duster and scuffing his boots in the grass slightly. Giles followed.

'See, I was taken in for a while by that utter rubbish you spouted at me in your crypt. I think you do want things, Spike, but they are not what you told me.'

Spike increased his pace but other than actually running - and that would hardly fit with the newly regained stones - he could not shake the terrier-like human.

'You want someone who wants what you want all right, but I think you got a little seduced by being in this human body. I think you want human-style commitment. Soulless fuck? That's the last thing you want.. That's what you can have with any of your low-life demon friends. I think you picked me deliberately, just because I'm the last person in this world who would give that to you.'

Spike made a small gesture with his arm, as if trying to ward off something attacking him, but increased his pace once more.

'I'm right, Spike; I know I am. See, I sense things about you that no one else does. I've watched you, Spike, studied you for months now. I sense your need, your loneliness. You want to explore being human with me, don't you? You desperately want a human relationship: snuggling, cuddling, and..'

Spike put his hands over his ears at these offensive words, but Giles knew he could still hear perfectly. 'You revelled in being me, didn't you? Training with Buffy? Laughing with the gang? Being accepted? You see their happy faces and you want them to look at you like that. You see their friendship and their strength, and you want to be a part of that. You're trapped by that demon exterior, Spike, but within - where your heart lies - you're crying out for love.'

Spike whirled around and stood his ground. 'This is not happening. I'm not having this conversation with you. It's fucking ludicrous. You stand for everything I revile, everything I fucking hate. I loathe you! Piss off!'

'You can say what you like, Spike. It won't make any difference. You can hate me as much as you like; you still want what I could give you: the stability, the comfort, the. love, I suppose. You want to wake up next to me and listen to my heartbeat. You want to snuggle with me and share my warmth. You want to walk in my shadow and have that your only darkness. I'm the father you never had, the friend who will never desert you, and the human who can interpret your eternity. I'm what you've wanted for so long, Spike. I'm the salvation that threatens your demon.'

Spike's head began to turn from side to side in emphatic denial. Fuck the stones! He turned and ran, disappearing into the darkness, leaving Giles panting in the street. He leant against a wall, his heart pounding, his breath ragged. He'd had no idea he'd been almost running to keep up, and what with the talking and the thinking and.. Oh. bugger! Had he really just said all that? What the hell had he been thinking? He stood straight and stared in the direction Spike had run, jerking back so violently, he cricked his neck. Spike had returned silently and was standing in front of him. 'What did you fucking wish for, watcher?'

'Err.. What?'

'Sub-bloody-conscious wish that second time when it didn't seem to work - what was it? Cus I'm thinking that maybe that weren't bullshit I threw at you back there. Did you wish to tread on the dark side with me?'

Giles winced. 'I may have let it flit across. but I repressed it sternly.' He began to cotton on. 'Oh, bloody hell. What about you? You were seduced by my warm bed, weren't you? Oh, God! Kissing warm lips.. You worked on this body so you could. cuddle it?'

Spike gritted his teeth. 'I am a Master Vampire. I cannot physically say the word "cuddle" let alone bloody wish for it.'

'You just did.'

'Fuck, fuck, fuck. All right, I admit it; I may have had it somewhere in the back of me mind.. So what the fuck does this mean?'

Giles paled and sat on the wall, his legs not obeying him any longer. 'I think I can tell you exactly what it means. We are trapped in a spell-induced parody of a Hollywood romance until..'

'Don't say it! Don't say it! Fuck, please, don't say it!'

'Until we play out our allotted roles once more.'

'You said it!' Spike stormed off once more with the air of someone who was utterly innocent of the deed, given Giles was the one who had spoken the unspeakable.

Giles followed him to the edge of the cemetery then tentatively went deeper. 'Spike?'

Once more, Spike materialised from nowhere. 'No. Absolutely not. No way. Not happening. I've thought 'bout it, an' I'm not doing it.'

Giles completely agreed. He tried to tell Spike this, but backing away from the advancing vampire, he fell into a newly dug grave. Spike peered over the edge. 'I should leave you in there.'

'Buffy would be fascinated with my account when I finally dug out.'

'Coward! Hidin' behind the slayer.'

'Pragmatist, Spike, now help me out.'

Spike effortlessly lifted him out and suddenly brightened. 'Do you think that'll count as one lovey-dovey bit of shit and make all this go away?'

Giles looked hopeful for a moment then despondent again. 'I have no idea. I sort of pictured one actual.. Well, you know.'

'Don't tell me. You didn't actually wish for a shag did you?'

'Not using that precise terminology, no. But semantics aren't going to help much, are they? What about you?'

Spike hesitated then groaned. 'Oh. Fuck..'

'Well, same thing, I suppose..'

'Very amusing, pillock. I kinda did think of that. first, but then I kinda drifted to picturing brekkies in bed.'

'Oh, well, that's not too bad..'

'Then a post-brekkies shag in the warm bed. an' then, well, one more for the road like.'

'A reversal spell! I'm going to ask Willow for a reversal spell.'

'Yeah, good idea, why not ask the slayer, too? Sure she'll understand this.. She can consult Harris while she's about it!'

Giles paled. 'I'll find one on my own!'

'Err. I could help.'

Giles took a step back, narrowly missing the hole once more. 'That's a good idea. Thank you. Sooner we stop thinking. what we are both thinking, the better. Are you thinking it now, by the way?'

'Oh, yeah.'

Giles let out a small squeak but had the presence of mind to say, 'Tomorrow, Spike, come to the shop in the daylight. I can't have you in the dark.. No! I mean, I can't afford to..'

'Yeah, I get it; I get it.' Spike didn't point out that seeing Giles in the daylight was just what he needed to avoid, but turned instead and went back to his crypt.

Spike's presence in the shop the next day was actually greeted with pleasure by the rest of the gang. They'd almost come to not hate him, and his being there seemed to make things more normal. He smoked; he put his feet on the table; he tipped his chair and swung it irritatingly: quite normal. Granted, he was deep in research books - which was really weird - but other than that, it was a perfectly ordinary day for once. Even Giles seemed more his customary self, albeit slightly more reserved than usual and choosing his words extremely carefully. but that was only of the good. Xander sat eating doughnuts, beaming at everyone. Buffy and Willow chatted; Anya counted money. Only Spike and Giles seemed absorbed in their research.

After a while, Buffy pouted slightly and said, rather aggrieved, 'What's with the intense?'

Giles looked at her over his glasses, seeming to come back from a very long way away. 'Oh, yes. sorry. I have a project I'm working on..'

'Oh! Like projects. Good at projects. Project girl here!'

'No! Sorry, Buffy, you can't help with this one. It's rather personal, and I'd prefer to work on it alone.'

'Oh. 'K. No biggie. What you doin' then, Spike?'

Spike looked up and stared at her.

'What? What? Spike? Wiggins here!'

'Oh. No. I'm. err. working on a project, too. An' mine's personal as well, so sod off.'

She looked from one lowered head to the other and suddenly snatched up Spike's book. 'Reversal spells! Willow?'

Willow came over. 'What are you trying to reverse, Spike! Hey! Giles! This is bad! The Big Bad is being bad again!' She gasped. 'I think he's trying to get in your body!'

Spike's chair almost tipped right back, and he only just grabbed the table in time. 'Bloody hell! I'm not! I'm not even thinking about being in the soddin' watcher's body.'

'Just leave him alone, Willow; I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation.'

Buffy looked at her watcher incredulously. 'Err. earth to Giles? This is Spike we're talking about? And I think it's time I..' She snatched his book as well. 'Oh! Giles! Reversal spells, too? You want Spike's body, don't you?'

'Good God, girl! Don't be so bloody stupid! Spike's body? Spike's. err. Spike's.. I have to fetch something from home. Err.. Pass me my jacket, will you Xander? Just bloody pass it! I'm going! I'll see you all later.' He sidled out, clutching his jacket firmly to his front and disappeared into the bright sunlight.

A small groan made them all turn their heads to the other player in this strange drama. Spike looked sheepish. 'Paper cut.'

Xander nodded thoughtfully. 'Yes. I can see that would make he-who-can-withstand-all-the-agonies-of-hell groan in pain. Okay. Enough. 'Fess. What's going on here, Spike? Buffy, back me up on this one!'

'Yes, come on, Spike. Tell us. I can make you, you know.'

Spike gave her a long look. 'Slayer, believe me when I say, you've got nothing that would drag it from me. Nothing.'

She laid a stake teasingly, almost lovingly on his chest. 'Nothing?'

Spike glanced down then back at her. 'Know what? I'd rather that than what I'm faced with, if you don't all sod off an' let me get back to the research.'

Buffy looked at Xander for support. Spike huffed. 'What you gonna threaten me with, some flab?'

'Hey! I told you; I've got issues!' Spike looked knowingly at the doughnuts then back at him with a slight grin.

'Still got all those weights, mate. You can 'ave 'em, if you want.'

'Okay.. Liking that idea. as an idea. Have to think through consequences for sweat and effort. and would I have to do the hanging upside down part? Because. not liking the blood rush there. Or the rising bile.. And hey! Don't change the subject, Spike!'

Spike got up. 'All right. I won't. I'll leave instead.'

Buffy shrugged. 'We will find out, Spike. And meeting tonight. Giles'?'

Spike squeaked and ran out under his blanket. The squeak, even more than the secretiveness, alarmed them considerably.

It was like an obsession. Giles could think of nothing else. Even when doing some tidying, when making a routine cup of tea, watching TV, when just breathing really, he thought about Spike and what they could do together. He had no illusions just how intense sex with Spike would be. He'd owned that body for four months and knew its power, its focus, its passions, and its capacity for the slow giving of pleasure. But even more seductive than all that, he knew that body's ability to feel pleasure, and he wanted to be the source of that gratification. Spike had been right: he did want to hear the vampire cum. He wanted it very much. He could almost hear the low, building moan, could almost picture the face screwed up with the intense effort to ejaculate.. Or was that screwed up in pain? Giles always tried to fight these final thoughts but, every time, they slithered in and seduced him.

He always started with the sex but ended up with torture, blood, pain, and screaming. Spike was right: he seemed obsessed with the vampire's dark side, and that obsession was threatening his very sanity.

Giles shook himself and cursed the bloody spell once more. This was ridiculous: he was hard again. but he was damn well not going to go upstairs and..'

'Let's just do it. Now! I can't stand this any longer!'

Spike stood in the doorway of the apartment, tense and agitated. Giles turned. 'Go away. For pity's sake, Spike, just go away.'

Spike came in. 'Let's just play this through, Watcher. I'm gonna die if I don't 'ave you. I can't think of nothing else. You're doing me head in. I'm in bed and the spot next to me is almost warm, like you just got out of it..'

'Please, stop..'

'An' when I look up, I think I can almost hear you coming. coming back to the bed with me like. An' when you do, you hold me. and I'm gonna 'ave to stake meself if I go on like this! It's takin' away me evilness. I'll be soddin' buyin' yer flowers or something next. Let's do it. Get it over with and sod off back to our own lives.'

'You foolish, foolish vampire! Do you think these things don't have consequences? You know that they always do! Do you think I could let you seduce me to the dark side, have you drink me, drink from you maybe, and not remember that? And if we play out your needs? You'd have memories of me in the warm, soft bed, stroking your hair..'

'Fucking stop. Just stop..'

'And I'd never be able to rid myself of the memories of finally knowing what it felt like to be taken by you, Spike. I'd hear your cries of pleasure for the rest of my life. Every time I had sex with someone, it would be with you. Every time I felt flesh, I'd want it to be just that little bit colder. So, NO! I won't do this! I will find a way out for us..'

Spike came closer. 'I need you out of my head. I want to go back to the dark places, Giles, where everything is so chaotic, it's calm. This brightness confuses me..'

Giles came toward him. 'You must go. Now!'

'I know. I will. I shouldn't 'ave come. But I 'ad to.'

'I know; I was on my way to you.'

'No. You shouldn't come to me crypt. It would be too dark, too tempting for you..'

'But you came here, Spike.' Giles put a hand to Spike's cheekbone. 'And the bed is just upstairs - the one you so want to take me to.'

Spike laid his hand on Giles' and leant into the soft caress. 'I know. I tried not to come, but it was..'

'Too hard?'

'Yeah, I was too hard.' He pulled Giles into a rough embrace; it was too new, too weird to find a kiss that fitted them both. Their teeth jarred slightly. Spike suddenly pulled back, ripped off Giles' glasses and almost swallowed him whole.

Then the kiss was exquisite, intense, their passions flaring, two erections rubbing together, owning their need. Spike grasped the back of Giles' head and almost climbed on him. Giles staggered back and tripped over the coffee table. He fell heavily, cursing; Spike fell on him, groaning in agony as his chip went off.

'Giles!' Buffy hauled Spike off and sent him flying into the wall with a punch. 'Giles? Are you okay? Why did he attack you? Spike? What the hell were you doing.?'

Spike glared at her, glared at Giles, made to speak, but only shook his head and ran out.

Giles stared mutely at Buffy for a moment, regained some composure and turned away to the kitchen. 'It's hard to explain, Buffy. Don't blame Spike entirely. We have. issues. we need to work through. I did things; he did things. God, Buffy - can you imagine what it was like for us? We need to sort these things through without all this. interference.'

'Interference! Interference? Giles! This is not right. You're not right.'

'I'm sorry - that was utterly rude and unforgivable of me, and not what I meant at all. Buffy.. It's as if you were having an argument with Dawn. You say things - awful things - you do things, but you don't really mean any of it. If someone intervened - if someone took you literally - you'd want them to. butt out, wouldn't you?'

'Preferring the interference, Giles. but I get it, I do. Only. Spike is not Dawn! Dawn would not rip out my throat and eat me if she got the chance. well, not if Mom got to hear about it! Spike might. You're dancing with the devil, Giles. I'm the slayer; let me take care of this for you.'

'Buffy, you can't. Even you, with all your superpowers, cannot take care of this for me. So please, trust me; I know what I'm doing.'

Giles had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He walked, talked, ate, slept, worked, and relaxed to the sound of Spike's voice, the feel of his hard body pressing into him, and the unexpectedly sweet taste of that cool mouth. He researched frantically and finally thought he had a spell that would work. He put the idea tentatively to Willow one evening - without specifics - when the others weren't there, but she was horrified by the idea of magic used upon magic to rectify magic. He had to agree and, besides, he feared the one he'd chosen was too loose, too liberal, so he went back to the books with increasing desperation.

They might have managed to stay apart until he found just the right spell, but fate intervened. Buffy needed everyone to patrol with her one night: a particularly big nasty on the loose. Giles agreed but forcibly suggested they split up, Buffy and Spike one team, he and Xander the other. Spike immediately chorused his agreement to the split and began to walk away. Buffy, wanting to keep them apart anyway, shrugged and followed him. Giles breathed a sigh of relief, sneakily watched Spike's tight backside in his jeans for a moment, and then turned to Xander. 'Let's just go, yes?'

'Right with you, English.'

They patrolled into the woods where the demon had last been seen, and it attacked within a few minutes of their entry. Xander went down to a vicious blow; Giles tried to fend it off with his axe. They heard a shout; the demon looked up, and a slightly dishevelled Buffy ran into the clearing with Spike, trailing a little way behind. The demon grunted and ran off; Buffy made to follow it. but saw Xander.

'Xan? Are you okay?'

'Next time, I get to do the big manlies with the axe.'

She smiled. 'Don't worry - it got us, too. Can you stand?'

'Nah. I could crawl though?'

She looked around, making swift decisions. 'Spike, can you carry Xander home?'

Spike tried, but Xander winced at the pain, so Spike had to put him down again, clutching his head. Buffy looked annoyed. 'Right, I'll have to.. Spike, you and Giles track the demon. Find out where it's holing up and report back to me. Giles. no heroics until I'm with you, got it?'

'I'll go on me own, Slayer. Watcher can 'elp carry Harris.'

Buffy slung Xander over one shoulder, gave him a look and jogged off effortlessly.

Spike didn't look at Giles, which prevented him seeing if the watcher was looking at him. He started slowly after the demon, tempted to just speed up and lose the human.

'As much as I'm tempted to hang back and have you lose me, Spike, I'd be a little put out if the demon was still lurking.'

Caught out, Spike gritted his teeth. ''K. Not going anywhere.'

'Are you limping?'

'No.'

'Uh huh. So that odd, uneven gait is because.?'

'Shut up, yer pillock, just shut up.'

'Of course.. And that damp patch on your lower leg is totally unrelated to the limp, yes?'

'I got slashed, 'k? Minor wound. 'S nothing.'

'Sit down.'

'No.'

'You're bloody leaving bloody footprints, Spike! For Christ's sake, sit down.'

Spike leant his back against a tree and slid down it to sitting. Giles suddenly realised that Spike would have to take his jeans off for him to inspect the wound. Spike looked at him with an "I told you so" expression.

'Err. just how badly wounded are you? Can you make it back without me having to.?'

Spike hissed from between gritted teeth. 'I was okay 'til you went on about it and made me sit down. Now..' He held up his hands, soaked from holding his leg for only a moment. The ground around him was staining with his blood.

'Christ.' Giles undid the jeans and peeled them down. As he inspected the deep wound in Spike's leg, he murmured, 'When I had this body, I wore perfectly acceptable, respectable underpants. Might I suggest if you insist on being injured that, in future, you consider doing the same? There, I've stopped the bleeding with some pressure. If I bind it, we might make it back..'

It was a good plan and probably would have worked. except Spike leant forward and kissed him.

*****