I Want the Angel - Jim Carroll

I want the angel
Whose dreams are fatal
I want the angel
Whose darkness doubles
It absorbs the brilliance of all my troubles
I want the angel
That will not shatter
I want the angel
That comes to stay
I want the angel
Whose eyes are raving
Who takes what I'm giving and not what I'm saving
I want the angel
Whose bones are so sharp
That they can break through their own excuses
I want the angel
That knows rejection
I want the angel
Whose touch don't miss
When the blood comes through the dropper like a thick
red kiss
If I could break through I could be certain
But this obsession is like some fiery curtain
I want the angel
That will not change
But I want the angel that never loses

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The dream begins the same way it always has. He is suspended in darkness, no light, no color, and no noise to break the nothingness. Then slowly he becomes aware of another presence growing stronger with each passing moment, his apprehension growing with its' increased strength. Finally, as always, the Voice. His Sire's first voice.

Angelus: Boy. You seem surprised I've found my way back.

Spike: Back? Where's Angel?

Angelus: Gone. Gone, and not coming back. He's buried deep.

Spike: Why.Why are you back?

Angelus: I came back for you whelp.you need me. You needed me last night. You can't believe it was the soul you were with!

Spike: No! It was Angel.I felt his tears.

Angelus: True enough.the soul cried because he couldn't give you what you needed, he knew I could! He wept because it was me you were calling for not him.you demanded my return when you handed him that strap.you know that, don't you?

Spike: I wanted my Sire!

Angelus: And you've got him, lad! I'm back.

Spike: Not you! It's him I want!

Angelus: Gods.I've left you alone too long. You don't want him, you only think you do. It's my mark you bear, you are MINE.

Spike: Not yours.that stopped when you left me.left us!

Angelus: I didn't leave, boy! Your precious 'Angel' left you!

Spike: S'not true! One day ya were there, and then ya were gone. Left me.left us to fend for ourselves. Left us with that screechin' harpy.ya knew she hated us.ya knew what she would do to us!

Angelus: Get it through your head, Childe.I was not the one who left you alone. I was always there. My teachings are what kept you whole.

Spike: Yer leavin' taught me better than yer damn presence.

Angelus: You've no right to hate me... You suffer at the hands of Angel now.

Spike: I have every right! Angel's gone; you've taken 'im from me.that's all the right I need. You are nothing.nothing.

Angelus: He tricked you!

Spike: Yer a ghost.

Angelus: He tricked you into loving him!

Spike: A shadow.

Angelus: He lied to you!

Spike: Tryin' to rip it out a' me, aren't ya? Try harder!

Angelus: You'll get over 'im. a nice shag and a good feed, set ya right.

Spike: Wrong! Wrong bloody wrong! But think what you like.you always did.

Angelus: Trust your Sire, William. Know, because I've been there... loved and lost...

Spike: This is 'hole in the gut', 'gapin' hole in my life', 'a walk in the sun sounds good' kind of pain. You never loved! Never!

Angelus: I did.

Spike: Not like this. So much pain ya want to end it any way ya can.

Angelus: You'll not hurt yourself, boy.

Spike: Enlighten me...why not?

Angelus: Hope.

Spike: Cuz I want to come back to you?

Angelus: No. I don't think that.

Spike: Cuz you'll beat me and rape me into a good vamp again? That time's past.Gods.I've lost everything.

Angelus: You love him.that gives you hope.

Spike: I don't have hope.Ya wouldn't let me. Never did. Yer good at that.

Angelus: You won't harm yourself...because if you die...he has no reason to ever come back.

Spike: Gods...it hurts! Wish it would stop. I ache.I need him.NEED!

Angelus: You don't break.not for him.if y'need to.you live for him!

Spike: How can I...without him? And why the fuck am I askin you? I am losin' it.be babblin' like Dru soon. Ere's the thing. I don't want to without him.

Angelus: Yer not losing it, pup... I'm yer Sire. that's what I am. like it or no. I am bound to care for you. to protect you...to school you.

Spike: I need you.ta die. Yeah...that'd be nice.Give me a prezzie.

Angelus: You've got to have a reason, let that be the one.

Spike: My reason is your death...you know that?

Angelus: Childe.was the promise I made to you...not clear? The night you were made...did I not hold you while your breath left your body and you held on to me and you were scared...Does that promise not ring in your ears t'this day?

Spike: Yes...I remember...Sire.

Angelus: Did I not tell you I'd protect you with m'life. I'll not let you die for love of the soul. I'd leave before that.

Spike: Like a lamb.I've no doubt.

Angelus: Come in as a lion...

Spike: You'll try an' kill me...I'm sure of that too...Angelus doesn't go quietly.

Angelus: No. I don't. but I'd not take yer life, Childe. Though, I'm certain you'd take mine. You're not accountin' for what I've done fer you... and what you meant to me.

Spike: I...wish it didn't have to be like this! Gods that sounds noncy!

Angelus: Tisn't... and I already know... you need your lover... and you love your Sire... it's the way of things.

Spike: You know I loved ya...ya know I woulda done anythin' for you back then!

Angelus: I know. and it's as it should be... but ya love that soul, fiercely.enough to erase me completely.

Spike: Gods...that's so final.erase.

Angelus: You'd not have it any other way... lest you risk me rearin m'ugly head again?

Spike: S'not so ugly.

Angelus: Ahhh... my boy... you'll do fine... You know.you don't need me to protect you anymore.

Spike: 'Aven't for a long time...but I have needed you.

Angelus: You're yer own man now, Pup... I've done right by you... made you strong... resilient. and you can love...

Spike: Why do you hate him? Tell me that.

Angelus: I hate him.because he took you from me...and you went.without a fight.took to his bed. laid with him.

Spike: Without a fight? Is that what you think? It took a damn long time fer me to come around...fought like hell - mostly inside my 'ead.

Angelus: You fought me harder, didn't you, boy?

Spike: I always fought you with everything I had...believed you'd kill me if I didn't. Submitting was never my bag.Until I had to.

Angelus: Sometimes, he's given me a taste, let me out to share you... and I could have died a thousand deaths to feel the pleasure that was seeping into me.

Spike: You shared me? I thought you wanted to kill me?

Angelus: Wouldn't have killed you pup... swore it to you... you never did remember the promise... had to remind you... there was a line I wouldn't cross. I took you to the edge. but never once pushed you over.

Spike: Well...you did a bloody convincing job to the contrary! Ya just pulled me over the edge with you, free fall. It was fuckin' great! The hunt! The kill! The hunt... yes... the hunt! The hunt was better than the kill. the hunt held the scent of anticipation...I saw the world as you saw it.It was...is delicious!

Angelus: As you were taught to see it. do you understand now?

Spike: I always understood, Angelus. I never have held the trainin' against you. I am me because of you. You're the one who seemed to resent it.

Angelus: Come in as a lion.

Spike: Why can't I have you both?

Angelus: Because it's not th' way of things, boy.

Spike: What if I find a way.

Angelus: What ya want me to say to that? I can't split in half... an take one half of me... and give him the other.

Spike: Why not? Ya ever tried it?

Angelus: Childe... ya want me to destroy him? Or d'ya want him to destroy me? That's how it'd always be.

Spike: Sire?

Angelus: Childe.

Spike: Do you want me?

Angelus: Always! But my job isn't to be your mate. I never could be... would be wrong. and of course I love you...

Spike: Wrong?!! You've fucked me...you've held me! You LOVE me, godammit!!!! So does he. I'll HAVE you BOTH!

Angelus: I watched over you... as your Sire. Not your mate.I took you. to teach you. took you, because you were mine. loved you, would kill for you... would die for you, because you are mine...he is yours.

Spike: You didn't give me a choice that first time...mebbe I won't give you one this time! You know I'm bent enough. You helped drive me to this, enjoy the ride!

Angelus: Told ya, Pup. I'll leave as a lamb.

Spike: You don't get a say in this! STOP IT!

Angelus: You want him back, right? You don't need schoolin' anymore, Pup.

Spike: You don't win this one, Angelus...I want...gods, what do I want? This hurts! Go away! That's what both of you do best.

Angelus: I will, for you, my boy.Childe... why must y'torture yourself?

Spike: Because YOU'RE NOT HERE TO DO IT FOR ME! Like you should have been.You leave.He leaves.Everyone leaves.

Angelus: Don't break, pup.

Spike: You're leaving...the little lamb...go find your Mary, hope she makes a bloody good meal. 'S too late...I think I'm already broken. A little mad, an' tired of how hard it always has to be.

Angelus: Get mad! Y'should hate me.bring him back to you!

Spike: Yeah yeah...egg me on some more Angelus...sod off! Ya wanker.the poof 's a wanker too.ya deserve each other, always makin' unlife hard!

Angelus: He loves you, William.

Spike: Fuck off!

Angelus: He's fighting hard!

Spike: I don't believe you know a damn thing about him!

Angelus: He wants to comfort you. wants to fix things. And he hates me. You can NOT have everything... but you must have one!

Spike: Don't want any more heartbreak from him.I don't have to have either.I don't need this kind of pain!

Angelus: He knows what y'need... I know what y'need... you have to know.

Spike: I DON'T KNOW ANYTHIN'! I'm alone...and you're both insane.Pretty sure of that! Locking eachother up.

Angelus: William.

Spike: Bondage fer the head.You use chains?

Angelus: William

Spike: Enjoy it?

Angelus: WILLIAM!

Spike: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?

Angelus: Childe... say good bye.

Spike: No....I won't.

Angelus: He'll care for you... or I'll remove him forever.

Spike: As I recall...at the beginnin' of this lil chat you said you already had removed him forever.some escape clause, Angelus? Make Spike hope?

Angelus: Come in as a lion.

Spike: Let the pain ease up a bit.So you can crush him down again? Lap up the tears and the blood?

Angelus: I haven't taken y'er blood.can't drink from you now.

Spike: Get yer bloody claws outta my heart, Angelus. 'An why can't you drink from me? You gotta chip too?

Angelus: Love you William.

Spike: Love you Sire.

Angelus: You're his now.

Spike: And yours...whether you are here or not. I know that. I do.

Angelus: Never forget....

Spike: Can't...wouldn't want to.

Angelus: Promised you...

Spike: I believe you.

Angelus: I'll die for you now William.

-------------------------------------------------

"SIRE!" The scream is torn from Spike's throat as Angel bolts upright in the bed.

"I'm here, Will." Angel says soothingly as he pulls the trembling body of his Childe to him. "What was it? What were you dreaming?" he asks, but the blonde demon cannot speak and just allows himself to be held, trying to regain control of his shaking body, the scent of fear rolling off of him in waves.

Angel presses his lips into the sweat soaked head beneath him, murmuring, "Shhh.it's o.k., it's o.k., Will. My boy, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere!" They lay like this, not moving for a long time.

When Spike finally is able to control himself, he moves his arms around Angel, returning the embrace. Angel lifts his head; "Do you want to tell me what your dream was about?"

The smaller demon pulls a biologically unneeded, but very necessary shuddering breath, "Angelus.he took ya away from me.and then.then he gave you back.but."

Angel urges, "But what, William? You can tell me."

Spike bows his head, "O gods, Angel.I wanted him too.wanted him to stay! I wanted you both, and he said.he said I couldn't!"

Angel carefully considers his words, "William. Childe.you do have us both.don't you know that?"

Spike looks at him with questioning eyes, "What do ya mean.how.?"

Angel replies, "I told you. It's the way it should be. You are whole, I am whole."

Spike pulls back from the strong arms holding him, "You're him?"

Angel shakes his head, "I simply am, Will. I am Angel, I am the demon. I am no longer two parts divided." Slowly he pulls the other man back into his protective embrace, nuzzling softly at the renewed mark on his Childe's neck.

Spike shudders into the touch, his mind reeling at his Sire's words, his body responding to his lover's touch. His brain is teeming with questions, if this is truly his Sire, then is he just the favored Childe once more? Can it be more? It doesn't feel like it did with Angelus, they have been more.they have been as mates.

Sensing his Childe's confusion, Angel realizes that his words would only serve to confuse, and he must show his William what he means. Tenderly, he pushes his boy back onto the bed, and moves his body on top. Languidly, he lets his tongue trace cool patters across Spike's torso.

The gears in the blonde vampire's head click into place, he knows his position: Childe. He lets a breath out and shifts his hips, preparing to lift his legs, offer himself to his Sire.

Angel's hand moves down Spike's pale, muscular thigh, to still the other man's motion. The dark demon moves his legs purposefully on either side of his Childe's as Spike's eyebrows shoot up in a questioning glance.

Angel responds to the unspoken question with a slow, soft kiss as one hand reaches out to the nightstand drawer, pulling a vial from it. Their bodies come into full contact with the kiss, growing erections pressed together and their hips begin to move rhythmically. Spike's hands wander over Angel's body, caressing the broad shoulders, the smooth expanse of back, finally resting on the hips fitted so snugly atop his own.

Angel breaks the kiss, and raises his body so he is sitting on Spike's thighs, his eyes gleaming in the darkness as he gazes at the pale body beneath him. He opens the vial and pours a generous amount of the cool scented oil onto one hand and slathers it over Spike's pulsating erection. The blonde's eyes roll back and his hips arch up into the delicious touch.

Angel smiles at his lover's reaction and leans down again to lick and tease at Spike's nipples. One hand continues to slowly pump at his lover's shaft while his blunt teeth pull at Spike's nipple, his free hand roughly caressing the other.

Spike is writhing beneath him, aching for Angel to increase the tempo and strength to drive him over the edge, "Angel.oh god, Angel, please!" he gasps out. As Angel lifts his weight off of Spike's thighs, the blonde tries to spread them for his lover's entrance. Angel smiles and does not try to stop him, but shifts his weight up, his hand moving back to grab Spike's cock, and in a liquid movement, slides himself down onto his Childe's hardness.

Spike gasps in pleasant shock as he feels himself surrounded by Angel's cool tightness. He is taken so off guard by Angel's move he is unable to speak. His body is screaming at him to move, but he cannot, and he just stares in wonder at the man looming over him.

The dark man smiles down at his lover, and begins to slowly rock his hips, allowing himself to fully adjust to the incredible sense of being filled by his Childe. Spike's body finally catches up with his mind and he begins to guide Angel's hips in a stronger tempo. As his lover moves on him, he reaches out for the straining erection leaking precum onto his firm stomach.

Feeling the cool hand circling his hardness, Angel laughs, and reaches down with one hand to pull Spike's away. Linking their fingers together, he moves his free hand around to grasp his own shaft, "I want you to watch." He whispers as he strokes his own length, pulling at the foreskin and pushing it back down luxuriously allowing copious amounts of precum to drip down onto the writhing demon beneath him.

Spike's eyes are wide, drinking in the gorgeous scene being played before him; every movement of his Sire's hand on himself is being matched by the rhythm of his hips on Spike. Angel's voice is low and deep with desire, "Like what you see, Will?" Spike moans his response as his hips thrust wildly up against his lover's passage.

Angel groans out his own need, his head thrown back, and Spike drinks in the vision of the man, muscles flexing and relaxing with each downward plunge, with each slippery movement of hand over cock. Angel closes his eyes, tilting his head to one side, knowing his lover is delighting in the show he is giving him, and he revels in his own exhibitionism.

The dark demon focuses on the movement of Spike's thrusts, his hand moving towards the base of his column, and then ceases. His whole being is concentrated on his hips moving with the lust that is filling him completely. His erection pulses with the sensation of Spike pushing up into him, bearing directly onto his prostate, an explosion of desire that only increases as Spike's hips push up more sharply. Spike's grip on Angel's hip and hand clench painfully as he nears his climax. The blonde's head presses back into the pillow beneath him as he bucks more wildly, "Come with me!" Spike cries out.

Angel's hips begin to move into his stilled hand, Angel commands him, "Watch."

Spike opens his eyes and sees his lover's hand gripping the cock thrusting into it, the image of Angel fucking his own hand wrenches a violent orgasm out of him filling Angel with cool wetness. Angel roars in ecstasy as Spike's come pulses into him and his own cock streams his seed over his adored's chest.

Slowly, their bodies still, and Angel gently pulls himself off of Spike, lying beside him. He lies on his back, a contented smile on his face, staring up at the dark ceiling. Spike rolls over, throwing a leg and arm over Angel, his body half reclined on his lover.

He marvels at the expression on those beautiful features, "You look happy, mate." He says quietly.

Not losing his smile, he locks an intense gaze with his Childe and replies, "Perfectly happy. Perfectly."

There is a sharp intake of breath from Spike, "What?!" He stares into Angel's eyes.searching, as though for the last time, beginning to pull his body away.

Angel reaches out an arm and pulls him back, "I have something to tell you, Will."

Spike braces himself against that strong arm, willing himself to believe that this isn't his dream, his nightmare again.

"Tonight." Angel starts, "Willow told me something.I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

He pauses, looking deeply into Spike's eyes, impatiently, the blonde vampire reacts, "Out with it, then!"

Angel continues, "I meant it when I said I was whole. There is no more curse. When my soul was restored, it was permanent because Willow intended no vengeance. I am perfectly happy."

Once again that night, Spike is speechless. Without a sound, tears form in his eyes and run down his cheeks as he places a wondering hand over Angel's still heart. Angel presses his hand down on Spike's, "Yours." He states simply.

Spike leans his tear-stained cheek against Angel's chest, "Mine." He vows.

*****
Part 16:

Yellow - ColdPlay

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you, I'd bleed myself dry for you,
It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.

-----------------------------------------------------

Their first night training with Spike.

Riley was complaining all the way to the Magic Box, bitching about Giles lending Buffy's training space so willingly to the blonde demon, about the command that Angel had taken over the Slayer's group, but mostly about his own unwilling participation in it all.

Xander trudged along beside him, only half listening to the ex-soldier's rant. Xander was actually looking forward to tonight. He'd spent more time around Spike than Riley had, and wasn't having as difficult a time accepting him as part of the pack, and he finally felt like someone was paying attention to him.

Angel had looked at him that night at Giles' house and said that they needed to be, and that they would be trained. While having any attention from Angel was nerve-wracking, with the words spoken, it suddenly seemed so obvious. Why hadn't Buffy or Giles thought of it before? All of them trained to fight the darkness that spewed from the Hellmouth would make them so much more effective.

And Xander yearned to be effective; he was tired of being the Scooby buffoon, 'everyone's butt-monkey' he laughed internally, remembering his own scornful words at himself. Xander wanted more.

And this "thing" with Riley, whatever it was.man, he knew it wasn't right, but hormones.how to control them? And he enjoyed the rush of power he had over Riley whenever he used his teeth on him. He knew Riley was thinking of Angel as he bruised his flesh, but Xander tried to push that to the back of his mind, knowing that for a brief while, he had some control.

On one level it sickened him to associate himself with the dark demon, but it was also so tantalizing. The power that was inherent in the fantasy.to be so powerful, so beyond his own petty life. No one could hurt him in this dream!

Abandoning his thoughts, Xander zips up his jacket against the night breeze and walks a little faster towards their destination, forcing Riley to catch up, and thankfully, to shut up for the rest of the walk.

Spike is waiting for them as they enter the training room at the back of the store. "Here come the wonder twins! On time, and ready to work off a load of sexual tension? Yer Uncle Spike is here to oblige! But first, ya gotta warm up those human muscles.now get to!"

Out of habit, the two begin their normal pre-patrol stretching, under Spike's gaze. Warmed and flexing, Riley snarls at the blonde vampire, "Let's get this over with!"

Xander stiffens at the tension; this is so not what he wants right now.

Spike sniffs in mock pain, "'Get it over with?' Pet, I thought you cared.thought you would want to make it last.make it good!"

"We're here because we have to be.nothing else, now get on with whatever it is Angel thinks you have to teach us!" Riley spits out as Spike's body tenses.

Xander moves between them, knowing which way the conversation is heading, "Hey! I for one am kinda glad to be here! You may have had the military schooling from year one, Ri, but all I've got is one bizarre Halloween flashback to call on. And I've seen some of ol' Spike's moves on the battlefield of my hometown.wouldn't mind learning a few of them. Kind of tired of the demon ass-kickings - not good for the Xander ego!"

Spike grins at the boy's effort to diffuse the situation, "Right! Xander's got the spirit. And I've seen 'im run into some bloody stupid fights without benefit of the equipment your lot" waving a careless hand at Riley, "cart around, and still come out.well come out of it alive anyway."

Spike moves toward Xander, smile disappearing, "An' since ya seemed to have volunteered, Pet.ya get the first go 'round."

Xander glances at Riley, startled, and almost misses the wooden stake the blonde demon tosses to him, "Don't be lookin' at yer mate, whelp! There's a vampire set to attack ya'.show me your stance!"

Xander shifts the weight of the wood in his hand, and holds it, pointed at Spike. The vampire circles him, "Ya git, shift those legs of yours!" as he kicks a black boot between Xander's calves, "Yer not on parade, loosen up, and bend yer knees.be ready ta leap at, or leap away! An' don't hold the thing like it's a bloody wand! Ya carry it low, here!" He moves Xander arm down, bending it at the elbow, "Ya been watchin' Slayer too long, lotta wasted energy in a forward thrust.ya got more power in yer legs.use it! Bring the thing up and in!"

As Xander follows his instructions, Spike continues to circle him, appraising, "Better!"

He turns his attention to Riley who has moved to the table where Spike had picked Xander's stake. Riley looks at him with an evil grin, "Hey, Spike, these stakes aren't real wood, are they?"

A low growl rumbles from the blonde demon as the boy laughs, "See, you did learn some things from the Initiative!"

Spike's eyes flash yellow for an instant before he shakes off some of his anger and smiles, "And now it's yer turn to learn, Pet!"

Riley scowls at him, "Learn? From you? I don't think so! There isn't a damn thing you can teach me about fighting 'hostiles'!" That said, he pulls a blade from the table, and falls into a practiced stance, "Let's see, we've already done the plastic stake through the heart, but there might be a few more lessons, I can teach you!"

In less than an instant, Spike has moved, attacking the weaponless hand, bringing it around Riley's back sharply. In his moment of surprise, he brings another hand down hard on Riley's shoulder, the knife is dropped, and the other hand is brought behind a little too tightly. Riley stiffens as the honey voice breathes into his ear, "Let's get this straight right now, soldier boy, so we don't 'ave ta do it again. I am not what ya think I am, no 'hostile' is." He spits the label out in derision, "And that's yer greatest weakness. Ya underestimate our will to survive."

Riley shivers as he feels the breath of Spike's words on his aching throat, "I think ya forgot the difference between most humans and demons. Ya humans jus' struggle."

He pulls Riley's arms back a little further, enjoying the shudders in the humans' body, "Sure, ya fight.but we hunt! Yer our prey, and the hunter studies his prey, learns it's habits, it's weaknesses."

The blonde head leans in towards the brown, sniffing, pulling in the anger, fear and arousal rolling off the boy, knowing Riley can feel him shifting into game face, "Hell, boy.we devour ya before we've even touched ya!"

He releases Riley and pushes him towards Xander, his features smoothing to their sharp human planes. Riley whirls on him and rushes at the blonde demon. Head down, he barrels into the vampire, bringing them both to the ground. Arms and legs out, he has Spike pinned to the mat, the body beneath him suddenly still.

Blue eyes lock onto brown as Spike lets out a harsh laugh pushing his hips up into Riley's growing arousal, "What's this, boy? Fight or fuck?"

His lips curving lovingly over the last word. Enraged by the vampires' lack of concern Riley hisses at him, "What's the difference?! I know all I need to know to beat you!"

With a shiver, Spike is in gameface again, his body flexing upward, throwing Riley off him, as he rolls around onto the shocked and angry human. "Well, Pet" Spike purrs into the enraged face beneath him, "Ya don't know enough, luv, and that's gonna be yer hardest lesson." He hisses softly so only Riley can hear, "And yer hard, aren't ya, boy?"

He rises swiftly, shaking off his vampiric features, and brushing himself in disdain, looking up to catch Xander's open mouth look. "Xan.shut yer gob! Whatcha' starin' at?"

Xander's mouth opens and shuts a few times, "He - had you pinned.you just threw him off. That was so.cool!" Xander claps a hand to his mouth, glancing at Riley who is sitting up, staring coldly at him, "Sorry Riley, but you gotta admit.it was a smooth move."

Spike smiles in response, "Right. Ya both need to remember who the teacher is here."

Suddenly, Spike's face loses all trace of smirk, "Children, yer here for a reason. Angel thinks yer trainable; an I'm willin' to give it a try. But yer here ta learn more than jus' how t'fight. Yer here to learn about us" his thumb taps his chest, "It's yer turn to be the hunter. You've got weaknesses that demons prey on, time to learn ours, to turn the tables. Ya need to learn how to get inside us, know what we're capable of. An ya better learn fast. Next time I think either of ya gits is fightin' one wit below yer best I'll leave ya somethin' to remember it by." Leering at the two, Spike's grin is back, "'An I can, too!" As he walks towards the door, "Enough yammerin' fer tonight.lesson one is over."

Xander moves over to sit next to Riley, "You okay, man?"

Riley shifts away, "I'm fine.you through sucking up to the vampire?"

"Wha-?" Xander says, "Geez, Riley.we're here, why not learn something? And I can't believe that sentence came out of my mouth, but it's true. I want to learn, even if the bleached psychotic demon is the teacher. Again, astonishment at the words, but there it is. Look Riley, you know what you are capable of, but I'm just beginning to learn. And I am going to learn!"

They sit in silence a while before Xander reaches up the nerve to put a hand on Riley's chest, "What is it you want, Riley?"

Riley closes his eyes, his breath quickening, "I want." he gasps as he feels Xander's teeth on his neck, "that!"

"Thought so." Xander whispers as he moves his mouth down, pushing Riley's T-shirt aside as he settles his lips on Riley's shoulder. Xander suddenly realizes this is part of what he wants to learn. How far can he go.how far can he push his own boundaries? Spike's words echo in his head, 'get inside us, know what we're capable of', and he bites - hard - blunt teeth piercing Riley's skin.

Riley cries out, his arms moving to grasp Xander's shirt, pulling Xander over until he is straddling Riley, urging him on. This is power, Xander thinks, this is power over someone else's needs.

Riley is bucking his hips up into Xander's, both boys instantly hard. Reveling in this moment of domination Xander doesn't hesitate, he bites deeply, letting the coppery liquid pool in his mouth before drinking it down, one internal voice 'ewwing' at the action, but another, louder one speaking, 'that wasn't so bad.', shushing them both, he continues to suckle at the wound as Riley hugs his body in desperate lust.

Neither of them is aware of two pairs of eyes watching them from the doorway. Angel stares in shock at the two figures locked in strange embrace on the training room floor. He looks back at his Childe, and pulls him into the front room, away from the surreal scene. "What the hell are you teaching them, Will??!!"

Spike places his hands up in protest, "Don't look at me mate, you said teach them how to get inside our heads. Didn't know the whelp would take me that literally, did I?"

Angel runs a hand of frustration through his hair, "We're gonna have to deal with this sooner or later."

"Later, Pet.little Xander's given me some ideas. What do you say we go home for a re-enactment of our own?"

*****