Title: Reasons to Hope, Reasons to live
Author: HanaHeart ([email protected] or [email protected])
Website: http://www.fanfiction.net/~hanaheart
Keys:
"Common language"
'Elvish language'
[Translations]
//Thoughts//
________________________________________________________
Reasons to Hope, Reasons to live - Three
By HanaHeart
Notes: Hi everyone, thanks for all who helped me in this fic and who reviewed it too. I hope you like this chapter and please, don't mind all the 'meaning of marriage' crap I wrote down there. I was in a gloomy mood. So let's go with the chapter.
By the way, this chapter takes place after two days from the last chapter.
~~~~***~~~~
Lord Elrond narrowed his eyes thoughtfully as he examined the blonde elf that was lying on the bed. Legolas looked at the Lord's face above him, trying to detect the elder elf's thoughts. His arrival to Rivendell hadn't been as he had expected. When he and his friends reached Lord Elrond's house, his strength finally gave out and he lost consciousness. He woke up two days later, and found himself lying in his bedroom in Rivendell with Lord Glorfindel nursing him. After telling the two Lords what had happened, the two promised to help him as much as they could. Now, Lord Elrond was examining him once more to make sure that the child was fine.
"Is something wrong with my baby, Lord Elrond?" Legolas asked, worried.
Lord Elrond shook his head slightly. "No, young one. The baby is fine. It's you whom I'm worried about. You haven't been taking care of your health properly."
"How could I?" Legolas asked sadly, raising his body into a sitting position. "I've been running from my father's scouts for nearly one month without any rest."
Lord Elrond sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Legolas," he said seriously, "you do understand your father's reasons to act the way he did, don't you?"
Legolas looked away; tears were forming at the corner of his eyes. "Yes, I do." His voice was hardly above a whisper. "But I can't do what he wishes me to do. This child is all I have left of Haldir." He looked at Lord Elrond with pleading eyes. 'Saes, Heruamin. N'ndengina nîn hên.' [Please, my Lord. Don't kill my child.]
"I understand, child." The Lord's stern gaze softened a little. "However, I do understand why your father was upset. You shouldn't have given yourself to Haldir without an official marriage."
Legolas opened his month to defend himself but Lord Elrond silenced him with his hand. "I know that you two were bounded by love, but that isn't enough, my child. Marriage, my prince, symbolizes the pure connection that two souls share. It's the normal end for a true love. That's why it has great value among all species in Middle-Earth. And what you have done has dishonoured that meaning. In addition, your pregnancy without a marriage would reveal your kin's secret. For so long, the Sindarin elves had kept the secret of their natural fertility under the cover of magic and spells. All know that the male elves can only bear children through magic, which cannot be performed without a willing marriage. If news of your pregnancy without marriage spread, many questions will rise and not only may your kin be a target to those who have ill intentions, but all of us. The situation is not as simple as you may see it, Legolas. All the elves' safety is to be considered. Thus, we must find a solution to this problem as fast as possible. I'll send for your father and tell him that you're here and ask him to come." Lord Elrond paused for a moment, studying the effects of his words on the younger elf.
Legolas bit his lower lip, feeling as if he was a child that was scolded for breaking a precious vase. For a moment, he felt like giving in and aborting the child. Tears fell from his eyes, as he imagined Haldir's face smiling at their newborn baby.
Lord Elrond sighed and continued softly. "However, I promise you that I'll do my best to convince your father to change his mind about the child. I won't let you lose another beloved this soon."
"You will?" Legolas asked, hope was shining in his violet-blue eyes.
"Yes, my young prince," Lord Elrond smiled warmly. "But first you have to eat something. I'm certain that you haven't eaten a proper meal for a while."
"Thank you, my Lord," Legolas smiled back, gratefully. Lord Elrond nodded in acknowledgement. When his hand reached the knob of the door, he remembered something.
"Legolas," Lord Elrond said, turning back. "Estel and the twins are very worried about you. What do you wish me to tell them? Do you want me to tell them the truth? Or would you prefer to do it yourself?"
Legolas thought for a moment, then looked at the elder uncertainly. "Is it safe to tell them, my Lord?"
Lord Elrond smiled warmly. "The news of the pregnancy won't be shocking for the twins; for they know that it's possible through a magic spell. However, there would be the part on how you got pregnant without marriage. As for Estel, it would take time until he gets the idea. But don't worry; they won't reveal your kin's secret. Besides, you need every support available and who would support you more than your best friends?"
"In that case, my Lord, I prefer to be the one to explain it to them," Legolas said.
"As you wish, my prince," Lord Elrond nodded, stepping out the room. "I'll send you a warm meal and then you have to get some rest." With that, Lord Elrond left the room, closing the door behind him.
Legolas declined his head in gratitude at the closed the door. Sighing deeply, he laid back on the bed, one hand caressing his belly.
~~~~***~~~~
"Legolas is WHAT?" Aragorn looked wide-eyed at his foster father.
For the past two days, Aragorn had been dead worried about Legolas' health. The moment he saw Legolas in the woods, he knew that something was wrong with him and the fact that Legolas was pursued by his father's scouts increased his worries. However, his concern reached its limits the moment Legolas fainted in front of them when they reached the house of Elrond. He had raced like a madman to his father's library, carrying the unconscious elf in his arms. After that, he wasn't allowed to visit the blonde elf for two days and his father refused to say a word about Legolas' illness. Even the twins couldn't visit Legolas or know what's wrong with him. Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel were the only ones who stayed near the elven prince. Now, finally, his father called him and the twins to tell them that...
"Legolas is pregnant, Estel. How many times do I have to repeat it?" Lord Elrond said quietly.
"But it is impossible!!" Aragorn exclaimed, waving his arms in the air.
"No, it not," Lord Elrond said. "And the twins knew that."
Aragorn looked at his brothers, who nodded in confirmation.
"How? Legolas is a male!!" Aragorn asked in disbelief.
"It is possible through a magic spell, Estel," Elrohir explained. "When a couple of the same gender wishes to have children, they usually ask a powerful Istar [wizard] to perform a spell that allows it to happen."
"And how would that be?" Aragorn asked, curious about this new information.
"Well, the spell makes the necessary organs grow in one of the mates and everything goes the usual way after that," Elrohir replied, his cheeks slightly flushed. "However, this spell cannot be preformed unless the couple were officially married and their souls were bound."
"Legolas isn't married, is he?" Aragorn asked, worried.
"No, he's not," Lord Elrond said.
"If Legolas isn't married yet," Elladan asked, "then how-?"
"That's what I want to tell you all," Lord Elrond interrupted. "It's a secret that concerns all the Sindarin elves."
The three brothers looked at each other, puzzled, then looked back at their father.
"What secret, Ada?" Elrohir asked.
"Before I say anything, I must warn you that whatever I'm going to say must remain between us, until I find a solution to the problem at hand." The three nodded and listened carefully to Lord Elrond's explanations.
~~~~***~~~~
Aragorn walked alone through a long corridor, lost in thought. The news of Legolas' pregnancy was as shocking as much as it was saddening.
//He's pregnant with Haldir's child.// That thought continued to ring in his mind, reminding him that the one he loved would never be his. He admitted that he had envied the Lothlorien Marchwarden for possessing Legolas' heart. However, he had never tried to win his heart; he respected their love and wished them nothing but happiness. After Haldir's sorrowful loss, Aragorn wanted to console Legolas, hoping that he would open his heart to another, namely him, and find happiness again. But Legolas shut out the whole world around him and lived with his grief and pain. And now-
Aragorn shook his head in denial, clutching his fists tightly. Now, Legolas was carrying Haldir's baby. A claim that would live forever, symbolizing the love that existed between the two elves. Aragorn breathed deeply, trying to control his pain and keep it from the others. No one could know about his feelings towards the elven prince. He would bury his feelings deep inside him and never show them to anybody. Aragorn's mind then shifted to the problem Legolas faced. He knew that nothing would change King Thranduil's mind about the child. It was conceived out of wedlock. Something that wasn't acceptable among the people of Middle-Earth, let alone elves and royalty at that. But if the child died, Legolas wouldn't live either. He was already in great grief because of Haldir's death.
Aragorn shook his head violently. //I won't allow this to happen,// he vowed silently. //I'll make sure that nothing happens to Haldir's child. I'll protect the baby even if it means facing King Thranduil himself. I won't let Legolas die from a broken heart, no matter what.//A hand on his shoulder snapped Aragorn from his thoughts. He looked behind him to see Elladan and Elrohir looking at him in amusement.
"Thinking of something, little brother?" Elladan smirked. "Or rather someone?"
"What do you mean?" Aragorn asked, annoyed by the looks his brothers were giving him.
"Come on, Estel," Elrohir chuckled. "You are an open book for us. We know that you were thinking of a certain Mirkwood prince!"
"I was not," Aragorn snapped, a shade of red colouring his cheeks. The twins looked at him with a knowing expression that made him blush even more.
"Well, I was thinking of him," he said finally. "I was thinking of his problem with his father and-"
"That's what we meant, Estel," Elladan smirked teasingly. "What did you think we meant?"
Elrohir laughed at Aragorn's embarrassed expression. "Stop hiding your feelings, Estel," he said, a big grin on his face. "We know that you're in love with Legolas. It's easy to tell from the way you act around him or when his name is mentioned. In fact, everyone seems to know about your love for him."
"Everyone except him," Aragorn said bitterly, entering a nearby balcony.
"Yes, indeed," Elladan said sorrowfully. "His love for Haldir blinded his eyes from his surroundings. And now with Haldir's baby in the-" Elrohir nudged his brother in the ribs, preventing him from completing his sentence. The two looked at Aragorn as he stood on the balcony silently.
"Estel, don't be sad." Elrohir placed a comforting hand on Aragorn's shoulder. "There is still hope that Legolas will see you as more than just a friend... you have to be patient. Right now, he has more important things to care about."
"More important things?" Aragorn glared at Elrohir. "Isn't my love important too? I have loved Legolas since the moment I first laid my eyes on him. But I was a fool and hadn't realized my feelings until it was too late."
"Estel, when you met Legolas, he was already with Haldir. There was nothing you could have done to get Legolas' affection." Elladan felt sorry for his brother.
"Yet, I let my feelings for him go deeper and deeper without even realizing it," Aragorn said sadly, fighting back his tears. "I had thought that Arwen's image would erase Legolas' from my heart; but my love for him was stronger than I thought. I knew that I wouldn't be able to forget Legolas that day in Lothlorien."
"That day in Lothlorien?" Elladan asked, puzzled. "What day?"
"It happened three nights after our arrival in Lothlorien."
Flashback
Aragorn walked through the woods of Lothlorien, enjoying the peace that filled the golden woods. Hearing a soft sound of a stream, he decided to go there, hoping to see his elven prince there. Thinking of the golden Mirkwood elf, Aragorn's mind mused on the type of relation he shared with the elf. He was in love with the elven prince; there was no doubt about that. But Legolas was in love with Haldir, who loved him back. So Aragorn had no chance to win Legolas' heart, for the two were dear friends to him. On the other hand, Aragorn had Arwen, who was willing to forsake her immortality for him. He does love the elf-maiden but not as strong as Legolas. And if he and Arwen married, he may make her miserable with his growing affection towards Legolas. But there was a chance that his love to Arwen would grow stronger when they married, wasn't there? Aragorn wondered. Was he ready to take this chance and try his luck? Either falling in love with Arwen the way she should be loved or suffering in silence for a love he couldn't reach? It was so difficult for the heir of Isildur to decide.
A soft laugh from nearby drew Aragorn's attention, pulling him out of his thoughts. He smiled as he recognized Legolas' merry laughter. He walked slowly, making sure that he didn't make a sound. He peeked from behind some bushes, wanting to surprise his elven friend. However, his mind went dumb at the scene in front of him.
Legolas was standing in the middle of a small stream, apparently taking a bath in the silver lake of the Golden woods. His exposed upper half was covered with drops of water that sparkled like stars against his ivory skin under the moonlight. His golden hair fell loosely down to his shoulders, framing his beautiful face. His merry laughter filled the air as he looked to his surroundings as if searching for something.
Suddenly, two hands shot out of the water and pulled Legolas down. Aragorn was about to go rescue Legolas when he realized Legolas was still laughing.
'You cheated,' Legolas said playfully, freeing himself from the strong grip that held him. The figure came to the surface; Aragorn's heart sank as he recognized the face of the Lothlorien Marchwarden, Haldir.
Haldir smirked and pulled Legolas into a passionate kiss. Legolas moaned as Haldir's tongue explored his mouth. They stayed that way until they broke for the need of air. Legolas smiled shyly at the older elf; his cheeks were turning a deep red.
'Thîr vain chîn darn thulen, Guren vell,' [Your beauty took my breath away, my sweet heart,] Haldir said dreamily. Legolas smiled and met Haldir's lips in another kiss. Deepening the kiss, the two fell down into the water. The two stood up laughing and Haldir started a splash fight. Feeling pain in his heart and great guilt in his mind, Aragorn left the two and headed back to their camp; his tears were falling down silently. In that moment, Aragorn knew that his love to Legolas was unforgettable.
End of Flashback
"After that incident, I knew that I couldn't marry Arwen," Aragorn said sadly. "I was going to hurt her by marrying her while loving another. Yet, I couldn't make this decision alone. So I waited until we came back from the quest and made my feelings clear to her. She said she couldn't marry someone who was in love with another." He sighed deeply. "Arwen deserves someone who will love her with all his heart and soul. She deserves to be worshiped by the one who'll marry her. I couldn't provide that for her."
"After Haldir's death, did you try to make your feelings known, Estel?" Elrohir asked.
"No." Aragorn shook his head. "By that time, my matters with Arwen weren't solved yet. Besides, I've always respected Haldir and the love he shared with Legolas. I would've dishonoured our friendship by making a move on Legolas that soon after Haldir's death. In addition, we had more important things to take care of by that time. And after the quest was over, I hadn't seen Legolas at all."
"Estel, you must forget the past and think of the future," Elladan said. "Legolas is facing a big problem and he needs our support. And if you truly love him, you must stand with him. Telling him your real feelings towards him may give him another hope."
"And don't dismiss the chance that his father may force him to abort his child," Elrohir pointed out.
"I'll do whatever it takes to guarantee that Haldir's child lives," Aragorn vowed firmly. "This child is Legolas' salvation from his grief and his hope for the rest of his life here." Aragorn looked away as he added, "And as for my feelings, they'll be buried deep inside me for the rest of my mortal life. I had hoped that Legolas would open his heart to me one day, but now I realize that this won't happen."
Elladan was about to answer his brother when the three heard the horn of Rivendell blowing, announcing the arrival of guests. The three exchanged looks and ran to the main gate to see the newcomers. The three held their breaths as they spotted the crown prince of Mirkwood, Prince Aredhel, approaching them on the back of his black horse.