I got this need
to fucking bleed
And I got this friend
who needs the same
we need to hurt ourselves
to prove we exist
And I hate everything
and I hate everyone
and I hate myself
and I hate my friend
though I know he feels the same
And I hate you
This house is so silent tonight
no voices
none out loud
Your name written in the dust on my table
Torn posters tell their stories
Moonlight caught by the cracked window
illuminates the rotting woodwork
My greatest fear
in the shadows lurk
Clouds block the moon
the night is dark again
Dark and silent
No sounds
just leaves quietly disturbed by the wind
as I rest on stained sheets
All I ever see is not-you
not-you staring at me
the glaring omission
the incredible non-existence
the dark matter in my universe
always not-you
It blocks the beauty of the world
stains the unstainable
this dream so unattainable
I can't see beyond it
always gone
always not-you
I look into the mirror
like the vampire's reflection
you're not there by my side
the gap between where I am
and where I want to be
it's always there
no matter what I do I still see
not-you
not-you and me
Friday night - I turn off the lights
sit in the dark
think about you
Saturday night - sit up late
all dressed up but nowhere to go
I think about you
Sunday night - the week slowly ends
as weeks gone before
while I think about you
Monday morning - everything starts again
I get up early for no real reason
and I think about you
Tuesday and Wednesday
too similar to differentiate
all I can manage
is thinking about you
Thursday's the same way
really nothing new to say
I still think about you
