Ten children born to their union (+ 1 stillborn son and two miscarriages).
Nine survived to adulthood:
Cecilia Dolores Gray was born July 17, 1942, Champaign, Illinois. She was baptised and named after her mother. See also, patron Saint Cecilia
Robert James Gray III was born February 27, 1945, East Saint Louis, Illinois. Bobby was named for his dad, grandfather and great-grandfather. His patron saint is Saint Robert of Chaise Dieux;
Vincent Clement Gray was born February 2, 1948, East Saint Louis, Illinois. Vincent was named after Bob's shorthand teacher, Brother Vincent Brand, and Bob's best friend, Dr. Vincent Eisele. See also patron Saint Vincent de Paul;
miscarriage July 1949, East Saint Louis Illinois;
miscarriage April 1951, Chicago, Illinois;
Sara Louise (Gray) Scheer-Dedmore was born February 27, 1953, at Youens Hospital in Weimar, Texas. Sara was named after her grandmothers, Sarah and Sadie, and Grandpa William Nieman's sister, Anna Louise (Ceil's Aunt Lou). The Old-Testament Patriarch Abraham's wife was called Sarah; and Saint Vincent de Paul's spiritual sister was Saint Louise de Marillac.
Philip Edward Gray was born April 6, 1954, Weimar, Texas. He was named in memory of Saint Philip's Church in East Saint Louis, Edgemont, Illinois. Saint Philip was a friend of Timothy, they were early Christians at the time of Saint Paul.
Philip died February 26, 1955;
A stillborn son was born dead (Saint Paul, pray for us!) in 1955, at Youens Hospital Weimar, Texas.
Timothy Shawn Gray was born March 22, 1956, Weimar, Texas. He was named for Timothy O'Donnell, childhood friend of Bob Gray who saved Bob from drowning and joined the Navy just before Bob did in 1941. Tim O'Donnell died of Cancer c1955. See patron Saint Timothy.
Thomas Liam Gray was born May 7, 1957, Weimar, TX. Tom was baptised and named after Father Thomas Flanagan, a missionary priest from Ireland whose 1st assignment was at Saint Michael's parish. See patron Saint Thomas.
Brian Carroll Gray was born June 27, 1959, Weimar, TX. Brian Boru was the greatest of the old Irish warriors who united the Irish Celts to protect them from Norman invasions. Carroll is Irish for Charles. Blessed Brian Lacey was an Irish Martyr during the English persecutions.
Christine Marie "Tina" (Gray) Clouse was born October 1, 1961, Scottsdale, AZ. She was named after Jesus the Christ and his mother, Mary.
Terrance Eamon "Terry" Gray was born May 7, 1963, Prescott, AZ. Terrance is an Roman name. There are three saints named Terence , two were bishops. Eamon is Gaelic for Edmond. Eamon de Valera was once President of the Irish.

...

Bob Gray died on December 22, 1978.
Ceil Gray died on August 13, 1991.
They are buried at the National Cemetery in Riverside, California.

Ceil later graduated from Saint Teresa's Academy where her sister, Marian (1914-), had gone for a time. She was treasurer of her class. This is where she learned to manage money like her mother.

Her best friend was Virginia Sweet. For a graduation gift, she was allowed to go to visit Virginia's cousins in Fort Worth. She fell in love with Texas and later decided this was one of the best place to raise kids. Ceil and Virginia were maids-of-honor at each other's weddings in 1941. Virginia married Carl Schindler (-2003).

Bob Gray was born to Sadie Belle (Flood) and Robert Joseph Gray. The Grays and the Niemans knew each other and lived in the same parish in East Saint Louis. Bob�s aunts and uncles went to Saint Elizabeth�s school with Ceil�s aunts and her dad. Bob was baptised by Father Peter Engel. The Gray family moved to Saint Philip's parish after their daughter, Dolores (1919-2003) was born. Their family grew to five children, after Melvin (1926-2003), Darlene (1930-), and Lionel (1935-2003), were born.

The community was known as Edgemont, below the hills where Belleville, Illinois was built.
Bob and Melvin (1926-2003) worked with their Dad, Rob, at Mirrings Florist. The Thomas brothers, Lionel Thomas (-2003) and Bobby Thomas, also worked there. Bob Gray was best man for Lionel Thomas when he married Anna Mae (Stricher).
Their older brother, Ralph, married the widow, Mrs. Shannon, who had a daughter, Virginia "Ginny" (Shannon), who later married Tom Blakey.
Joseph Conroy, was also a friend and worked at Mirrings. All these friends went to school at Saint Philip's.

Bob Gray graduated and went to the new Central Catholic High School for Boys, where the teachers were the Marianist Brothers. Brother Vincent Brand taught shorthand and business classes. He took Bob under his wing. The Central Catholic Boys were a tight group. Their favorite songs were The Gang That Sang "Heart of My Heart" and the Irish American classics When Irish Eyes are Smiling, Danny Boy, My Wild Irish Rose, Too-Ra Loo-Ra Loo-Ra, and Mother Machree. And they were all fans of the crooner, Bing Crosby, who sang them, and also the Irving Berlin favorite, White Christmas.
Pat Dennehy (who later married Bob's sister, Dolores) was in Bob's class. They were both born in 1917 and died in 1978. Ceil's cousin, Cletus Cunningham, was a classmate (he later was ordained a priest and became a Monsignor), as were Dr. Vincent Eisele and Tim O'Donnell.
Tim O'Donnell once saved Robert from drowning when they were on a picnic.
After High School, Tim joined the U.S. Navy. Bob went to SIU Carbondale college on the bus and later married Ceil Gray. His best man was Raymond Joseph "Ray or Joe" Nester. Joe didn't go to the Catholic High School. They played golf and sang "Heart of My Heart" and danced with girls at the saloons. George Schneider and Harry Hindman were in the college group also, but Bob decided to join the Navy like Tim did. Joe and Harry joined the Army, as did Melvin Gray. Tim O'Donnell and Joe Nester married the Smith sisters. Joe married Bernadine and had a few boys and Tim married her sister, Helen. Tim and Helen also had a number of boys.
Helen and Bernadine grew up on Baugh Avenue, near Sacred Heart Church in East Saint Louis.

All the newlyweds and their children would get together for picnics when they could, and play softball.

...

Bob and Ceil were married in 1941. Bob took his new bride to Chicago, where he was stationed for basic training at Navy Pier. They stayed temporarily at the YMCA, then found an apartment near the warehouse where the Saint Valentines' Day massacre had occurred in the 20's.
Around November, 1941, Ceil got pregnant. On December 8, they were on their way to church when they saw the headline that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbour in Hawaii, and President Franklin Roosevelt made his "This is the day that will live in Infamy..." Radio speech. Bob was sent to signal school at the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana, this was where their first child was born. Bob wanted to name her after his wife, and Ceil suggested that her middle name be Dolores, after her aunt and godmother, Dolores (Gray) Dennehy, who was also a best friend. So she was named Cecilia Dolores...see also East Saint Louis. Joe Conroy was the first of the gang to move to Arizona.
He opened Conroy's Wholesale Florist, on 7th Street in Phoenix, and asked Bobby Thomas to come to work for him.
After Bob and Dorothy moved to Arizona, Melvin Gray and his family moved there too, and Melvin worked, delivering milk door to door, for Kruft Dairy.

Bob Gray was living in Texas by this time, but, when Judge Holt died, and Bob didn't care for the new judge, he went looking for a court-reporting job in Phoenix. Bob and his family stayed for a night or two with Mel, then rented a house in Scottsdale on 4th Street.
Ceil was pregnant with girls every time they made a major move.
Within six months the family made their home in Prescott, Arizona, were parishoners at Sacred Heart Church, and sent their children to Sacred Heart school.

...............................................................................

Memories of Dad

December 4, 1917-December 22, 1978

December 22, 2003:
Dear Family,
Today is the 25th anniversary of Daddy�s death (grandpa to some of you). I have been thinking about him most of the day. Here are some of my thoughts.
I remember my dad as a very emotional and sensitive man. He cried more than any man I have ever known. He was very much in love with mom. He loved all of us but I feel he was particularly fond of babies. He liked to cuddle and play with all of you when you were babies. He planned things to do on the weekends with the family. When I was young in Chicago we would go on excursions. Mom would look for �free� things to do. When we moved to Texas we would go out to the farm for ice cream, have barbecues, swim in the local pool, etc. He was very protective of me. I learned to drive but I couldn�t drive the car by myself. He would take me and my friends places rather than let me drive.
Daddy loved to be with his family. When I was young (Tom, Tim and Brian were born when I was in high school), daddy would come home from work and help take care of babies while Mom cooked clean and made everything neat and tidy. In Texas before I went to college, I would baby sit so mom and dad could go to dances. A few times they would go to shorthand court reporter meetings. Daddy was very appreciative of my babysitting and would tell me so. When I was 21 he and mom took me to Pine Cone Inn for dinner and champagne. I drank too much and woke up with a headache (I was so na�ve that I didn�t realize it was from drinking the champagne.)
When I came home during the summer I would work around the house painting, making curtains you name it but on Sunday Daddy would barbecue. Then we�d go to the races. I learned a lot about barbecuing from him, but I didn�t win at the racetrack.
Daddy was a very affectionate man. I believe his sons, more than his daughters, are very much like him. The daughters are very much like Mom. They are more likely to show their care by �doing� for those they love (maybe I�m more like this than Sara or Tina).
When I think of commitment and courage, I think of Dad. He was committed to his family above all else. He faced his death with courage and dignity, never complaining when we knew he was in pain. I miss him very much. I wish he were here to share in my life today.
If you wish to share any memories, feel free.
Love,
Cecilia

Bob's response:
I thought about Dad also all day while I was doing yardwork, raking and bagging leaves yesterday after Mass since I wasn't called to teach.
Daddy was home babysitting in Texas because he had some free time when there were no court days and so he would stay home and practice shorthhand sitting in his boxer shorts and undershirt on hot summer days. We only had a small air conditioner at first, in the dining room in Weimar.
Marian thought Cecilia was overworked and I did too. Cecilia had some strong hips from carrying kids around all the time. One year Marian and Glen and Glenna and Maryann "paid" Cecilia for her babyitting by taking her to Mexico with them on vacation.
In Chicago we went to the movies and took our own popcorn like Cecilia still does (to save money) We saw Singing in the Rain and Cheaper by the Dozen (The original movie in the early 1950's) which was a story about a family with twelve children, which is what we would have had or maybe 13, if all mom's pregnancies had produced children. These movies always reminded me of Dad, Mom and also Cecilia, because the oldest girl had to do so much work around the house.
It was always a treat when Cecilia came to visit, because she prepared all the dinners and baked. Mom didn't like to bake fresh pies because she could't get the recipe for good crust from Marian.
Once dad came by Saint John's Seminary when I was a junior in High School, and I was very surprised because it wasn't "visiting sunday," it was the middle of the week. He took me to Downtown San Antonio where he had some business to do, and then to the old hotel in the middle of the city where we had a "Businessman's lunch." Daddy then told me that he was flying to Arizona to look around for a job because his boss had died and he didn't like the new judge that much.
We used to drive to East Saint Louis through the Ozarks all the time to visit grandparents aunts and uncles and cousins. One time near Christmas we had left in the middle of the night and got to see the Christmas lights during our trip and we were driving though a city and Daddy noticed fire coming out from under the car, I guess there was a gas leak, so he stopped the car and put out the fire with one of our blankets, everyone was half asleep.
I remember catching daddy at prayer when he was kneeling by the bed saying the rosary.
When I left for Derby New York, Dad told me, "Don't worry, if you don't like the new seminary, you can always come home."
Later, I gave mom and dad lots of grief because they were worried about me wanting to go to Hollywood, and even asked Cecilia to write me a letter and straighten me out. I was "too young to go galavanting around the country." They were worried because I could never make up my mind what I was supposed to do with my life. Daddy said, "Don't worry, Bobby, you'll make it because you have a strong personality."
Once daddy would just cry, seemingly for no reason, but we went to Saint Louis the King Church where Kevin had his first communion and they played the song, He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother and it reminded me of our childhood in Chicago (the song came from the slogan that was used for Boy's Town USA), so I kissed daddy on the forehead. Later, when he was crying in his office, he said "no reason" but I knew he was worried how we would all get along without him, since he knew he would die soon, and he was proud that all his children were doing so good, and that I had a job at Fort Grant Prison teaching. When dad died, I couldn't cry, until during the funeral mass, and I cried not because I was sad but because I was happy that we were given such a kind father, I was remembering when dad took us to Oak Creek and went wading in the creek with his pants rolled up to his knees. He also loved to play with Kevin, Scott... and Fawn and Lydia, who were infants when he died.

Vince's response:

Dear Family:
I just got back from Orlando late yesterday. I was there on Dad's birthday, receiving a national award from Athletic Business Magazine and the National Alliance for Youth Sports for achieving "Excellence in Youth Sports". I believe the award is a direct reflection of lessons learned from daddy about passion and hard work. Daddy had great passion for mom and all of us and had a great work ethic (he needed it to provide for all of us) just stop and think about it. Nine kids and 1 bread winner. Although I look like mom, I think I am most like daddy in terms of hard work, showing lots of emotion and loving the hell out of Gloria and the boys. I remember vividly many of the same things Cecilia and Bob mentioned, including a few piano and dance recitals maybe that's why I love going back to Weimar so often.
The simple things that we take so much for granted, mom and dad made a big part of life growing up. I remember all the trips to Saint Louis usually curled up under mom's feet on the passenger side, donut stops, daddy running off the road cause he fell asleep and digging us out of the sand. I remember all the Little League games with dad as my coach and Daddy dropping me off in Columbus to play golf all day while he went to work. I remember the hard work, cooperation and determination the family showed in collecting all those milk cartons and bottle lids so we could get on the Looney Auction TV show. The trips to San Antonio to see Cecilia and Bob, the frequent trips to the park in Seguin, Texas, hamburgers at Kunz's and all the masses served at St. Michael's, and finally the scouting trip to Arizona to look for a job. All the barbecues with the Haiduseks, Janeckas and visits to the farms of Hudec and Oncken to make homemade ice cream, eat popcorn and drink Budweiser and play hide and seek in the barns. I remember all the road trips at SJA going to all my football and basketball games and daddy running off the road in a snowstorm around Dewey when we were getting ready for the move from Scottsdale to Prescott.
Dad and mom probably thought I was crazy when I wanted to get married at the age of 20, but we all know that Gloria and I were right for each other. (35 years in August). Daddy showed me how to be a husband, stay happily married and how to treat a lady and certainly how to raise kids. I wish he could have been here longer for Kevin and Scott -for them to see to see how truly genuine and loving their Grandpa was, but I know his spirit was within us all. I truly miss him a great deal.
He missed seeing Tom playing on the PGA tour, going to Notre Dame games and going to watch baseball @ BOB. I just wish I could have learned his barbecue technique but he had a lot more patience.
My dad was my hero, just like the song goes. We all have been truly blessed to have parents who believed in God, believed in each other and loved their children. We should all be so lucky to follow in their footsteps.
In closing, just remember to live life to the fullest and don't put off till tomorrow what you want to do today - life is just too short. I was glad I got to see Aunt Dolores in October. Happy Holidays and love to all.
Vince

From: Sara Dedmore
Subject: Memories of Dad
Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2003 13:50:44
I knew it was my turn just needed some prompting. I'm not quite the communicator that Mom was. More like Dad, I would guess. One thing I do remember about Weimar life was Dad having to hold me down to wash my eyes out with warm washcloths. Some mornings, I would wake up with them totally glued shut, I guess due to allergies. Gettting chased around the neighborhood by Cecilia to practice my dance routine, how come that was so important? The Haiduseks didn't do that did they? I guess our parents moving from a big city had different aspirations. The only ones who made it to the stage a few times, except for recitals were Bob and Tina (now she made her parents burst with pride, but I'll let her tell that story.) Not that we weren't all the apple of their eyes so to speak. Pat doesn't know how they managed to spoil 9 of us.
Me I got special treatment- all I had to do was say migraine and I got whatever I wanted. Special foods (peanut butter sandwiches all the time-Vince). I got to stay home lots of time from school, but it wasn't exactly fun. Thank God for Imitrex these days. I remember Dad bringing me home books, Little Women and The Bobbsey Twins and I guess that was instilled in me at an early age. Although I never saw Dad read for pleasure (except the newspaper, mostly the sports section), he never had time. Don't we live through our offspring though. Plus it was one more way to occupy us. Made lots of trips to the library, and from there to Dad's office.
Dad spent alot of time working but I can remember taking trips around AZ with him even as far as Tombstone for his work and sometime taking the family, but occassionally I went with him by myself-some quality times. The trips were alot longer than the ones he used to make in TX. Speaking of work, it was great fun to play office as a child. Those trips to his office usually were good for a notepad or pencil. For years after he died I always thought of the northeast windows on the 2nd floor of the courthouse as his, he spent so many hours there. The room was filled with his notebooks and oversize desks, plus an old typewriter and later an electric one. Plus a few plants (a holdover from Mirring florist work) He would give his plants drinks of his cold coffee. His notebooks (I still have one started a journal in it about 25 years ago-never completed) His cardboard paper boxes he brought home, in later years mom put pictures in them. Does anyone have their's yet? But they sometime got put to use for popcorn when we took trips, it was like Dads' treat to himself, that and (SHH) a beer for the drive. And his special ink pens, had to be filled by hand, he even tried the new fangled ones coming out, and as we all know new is not always better.
Dad was not only a wonderful father, he was always exhibiting that love to us and mom, in numerous ways. But those bear hugs he gave they hurt your chest sometimes. I remember him doing background checks on my perspective dates, he had connections- (illegal I think). Just one more way to show he cared enough. One more thing he gave me, a few of you have it, but probably don't appreciate it as much as me. He always told me when you get older you'll appreciate all those CURLS and I sure do now, I get compliments all the time, thank God for DAD
Love to you all,
Sara

Tim's response:
Memories of Dad,
Being #5 and in the middle of 9 kids I am constantly reminded by our relatives that I look the most like our Dad. I will always remember living in the Mountain Club and the Haiduseks were in town and the fire that burned the tent down and almost the forest. I still have memories of the Christmas mornings and the toys, bikes, footballs, basketballs. I still wonder how Mom and Dad did it. I know it was alot of sacrifice by both of them. They did without so we could have the best possible childhood. Another pat on the back for our great Dad was: he had us constantly promise to never take drugs because he saw it every day in court. Also, he made a point that if we ever got in trouble with the law we would have to leave Prescott because of his high profile job. I will always remember getting caught smoking cigarettes with EJ and his sisters on their visit to Prescott when we lived on Norris Road. Dad took us out on the front porch and gave us a whipping with his belt and told us this hurt him more than it hurt US. WHAT A DAD!!!!
I can remember the one trip to Lake Havasu during Easter and we played golf and I was throwing clubs in disgust and Dad walked off the course that was all it took for me not to throw clubs again. I can recall Wayne Howell used to get calls from Dad checking up on Tom and I to see if we were behaving and to feel free to take the necessary steps as needed to reprimand us at any time. I remember the times Tom and I would play in the Father-Son Tournaments and Dad would try his best to perform like his sons and make a respectable showing. As I look back it was just playing golf with good old Dad that was important.
I do have some traits I will always treasure and the one that sticks out the most is the ability to BBQ. I will BBQ as often as I possibly can because it reminds me so much of him. I know we are all blessed with his work ethic and I see it in all of us. I am blessed to have a wonderful wife of 25 years and I know that comes from Mom and Dad showing examples of how 2 people can love each other even though they had to raise 9 kids. I can recall Jim Garner use to remind me that Mom and Dad did a heck of a job with 9 kids. He would remind me that Dad had high hopes for Tom and I playing professional golf together on the PGA Tour. At least one out of two is not bad!!!
This is only the half way point!!!!
NEXT!!

Tom's response:

I guess I can start with the oldest memories and work my way through the years. I remember back in Weimar, Dad would always rub his sandpaper face against mine when he would play with us. Next I remember when we lived in Scottsdale and he came home one evening and I remember him washing his hands, why I remember that I do not know.
Then we moved to Prescott and he couldn't seem to keep the car on the road, and I think the first place we went after coming back to Phoenix was a church to pray. I guess we were thanking God that we were all alive. I remember him always carrying his prayer book also.
As we grew up Dad always supported everything we did, my two most vivid and emotional memories of dad were in May of 1974 after we had won the State High School golf championship in Prescott, I remember being tired and taking a nap, when Dad came in and woke me up, he was crying like Cecilia mentioned he was known to do. He was telling me how proud he was of Tim and me and what we had accomplished, for some reason he thought I was upset because Tim had played better than I did, heck I was just tired and trying to get some rest.
Second, I was coming home one weekend from ASU and Dad called and asked me to stop by his office when I got town, we went across the street to the Birdcage, his "hangout" and had a couple of beers, he then shared with me that no matter what happened to him, I would make the commitment to him to pursue his dream of me playing on the PGA Tour. Needless to say we were crying in our beers.
As with all of you I have nothing but very fond memories of both Dad, playing wiffle ball or soccer at the bottom of the drive in Prescott, going on road trips to watch Vince play for St. Joseph's, trying to squeeze everyone in to Cecilia's MG car, standing outside at night around Christmas time admiring Bob's manger scene on the picture windows, seeing the look on Dad's face the first time Sara brought the twins home, Tim playing the great golf he played in high school, getting Brian stuck up in the rocks behind our house and Mom having to call Dad at work and have him come home and save Brian, Tina's first communion in the new church, and Terry getting his foot caught in the back patio. Dad was always there and still lives in me today.
I thank God for providing me with the best Father anyone could ask for.

Tina's response:
Greetings everyone --
One of my earliest memories is of daddy is of him standing in the hallway, picking me up in his arms and teasing me saying: "You don't love me." I would say "Yes I do" and he'd reply "No you don't. How much do you love me?" I'd say, "I love you this much" as I spread my arms wide like an airplane. He would again say, "No you don't" and I remember spreading my arms even wider, back behind my shoulders and saying again "Yes I do, I love you this much."
I also remember a slumber party I had in second grade where the girls we're up and making noise. Daddy told us several times to be quiet and go to sleep and he even threatened to call the police, to which I told the girls "he is really serious, he works with the sheriff." Finally, late in the morning, Daddy came down stairs in his boxer shorts and said he was going to stay there until we all fell asleep. He sat down on the bottom step and proceeded to fall asleep. My girlfriends always got a kick out of telling the story of Mr. Gray, at my slumber party, in his boxers.
Daddy was so good at teasing and playing with kids, us kids and our friends. I remember Janice McClung nick-naming him "funny man." (Greg reminds me of Daddy when he is around little kids. He too is such a teaser, loves to kid with them).
I remember Daddy giving mom a kiss goodbye every morning when he left for work. And she would get up with him no matter how early it was. At night I remember our family sitting out on the swing that Vince (?) built, looking out at Thumb Butte and just visiting together while the sun set. (We didn't do this often, but I really enjoyed it.)
Like Bob, I remember going down to the court house and typing envelopes for a mailing of everyone in the press club when dad was president of the club. He paid me well and I enjoyed working alongside of him. I also liked going to his office on the weekends but I hated going through the sheriff's office because the food they cooked smelled horrible.
I remember sitting in Daddy's lap at night when he got home from work. He would have his scotch and water and when he was done I liked the taste of munching on the ice cubes even though I didn't like the scotch and water, which he let me try. He would rub his whiskers across my face (which never felt good even though I enjoyed the attention). He liked teasing me with them. He would also sing songs while I sat on his lap - Danny Boy was one of them.
If there was any cut on him at all he would point it out and claim that mom gave it to him. I'd say "no she didn't" and he'd say, "yes she did, ask her." I would fall for it every time and ask mom and she'd say, "oh, sure I did" in a way that let me know she too was humoring him.
One evening, I was typing labels for the phone pad of important numbers and I asked him what to call a certain group of numbers, daddy said, "those are very prominent numbers." When I didn't know what that word meant he had me look it up in the dictionary.
A couple of those nights I remember daddy having Tim, Tom and Brian all lay their hands on top of his and promise that they wouldn't smoke or do drugs. That really stuck with me and although I didn't have my hand there as part of that promise, knowing how he felt about it made me feel as if I did because later in life I smoked just one cigarette and felt pretty guilty about it. I don't think I even finished the whole thing.
I only remember one spanking with a belt (because he did have a way of just looking at you and you knew he meant business). Mom said it was because he believed if you didn't have a child trained by the time they were six they would never be trained. I think she also said that he often told her that she needed to have the "voice of authority." Maryanne and Glenna later said that they were afraid of daddy but I don't remember feeling terribly afraid of him. I do remember wanting to please, and not disappoint him.
Like someone else mentioned, I also remember the trips to Sedona and stopping in the Jerome Bar on the way back as well as going over to the church to see the Monk standing in the doorway. The player piano in the bar was also cool. As hard as Daddy worked we did have fun with the BBQ's, water balloon fights, and walking over to the horse races where we once in awhile were able to pick the winning horse.
Like Terry, I remember taking "Sunday drives" with Mom, Dad, Terry and I around Prescott. As soon as I learned how to make the popcorn with baking grease I was forever given that responsibility. As usual, Daddy was in no hurry to get anywhere and at least once each trip we could count on him declaring "I wonder what this guy is in such a hurry about. I guess I'd better pull over and let this monkey by."
On the weekends we would also go out to the golf course and play as a fivesome sometimes. I would pop popcorn and mom would come along and read the newspaper. One time I fell in love with a putter that was $12. It was a lot of money for us then and yet daddy bought it and said that I could have it for an early birthday present.
When it came to my golf I used to complain to mom that Daddy didn't follow up with me when I went to Phoenix to play in a tournament like he did Tim, Tom and Brian. So I vividly remember one tournament the clubhouse pro announced over the microphone that I had a phone call. I thought something terrible had happened but it was Daddy calling to see how I had played. That meant a tremendous amount to me.
I am sure the younger Gray family remembers traveling to San Diego for the Junior World Golf tournament. One time we had a kitchenette right on some cliffs in Ocean Beach and that was cool. The trip that was most memorable to me was the one where we stayed at the Summer House Inn because it had 10 floors or so and I thought riding the elevator was fun. That year the summer Olympics was in process and I remember us all sitting on the beds at night and watching Nadia Komenich win several gold medals and Mark Spritzer winning 7 golds (I think). It was exciting and we felt like we were all in it together with them.
Despite how much the cancer had to hurt, like Mom, Daddy rarely complained about the pain. I remember only once, when daddy was in the hospital and I was there, he said to me "boy that hurt so much if a bus came by right now, I would have jumped in front of it." There were many nights that we all went down to the hospital in the middle of the night because he wasn't doing well. Those were tough times and I remember mom aging a lot.
There were nights when daddy was really sick that he would just come home from work, have his ice cream malt, and stay in bed. I didn't like seeing him that way. Mom had a meeting one night and asked me to go up and sit with him. As I lay there beside him we talked some. That was a special evening.
It has been nice to reflect and to hear from everyone. As Cecilia started I first didn't think of many things but the more I read the more I remembered.
We had a good, although imperfect, life together and I feel I have much to be thankful for. I wish I were able to know daddy as an adult. I know he had pretty strong opinions about things and I just wonder how my view of him would be different. I am grateful for all that we had, and how much love they spread around, especially since there were so many of us to spread it among.
I think we started this on Daddy's birthday (4th) and as I signed a payment today I remembered the 22nd was the day of his death. Aunt Alice sent a card today saying "yes, life is short here, but eternity is forever: no sickness, no tears & plenty of reunions."
Blessings peace to everyone this holiday --- remember Daddy did all his shopping Christmas eve to be sure the tree was full of presents,
Tina

Terry's response:
<< File: Dad Memories 2003.doc >> I thought I was last but I realized Christine and Brian have yet to write, anyway here is all of your previous Memories that I collected and organized in a file.

Remembering my Dad,
Since I was the youngest of the family I did not get the chance to spend time with him as an adult. I can remember many Sunday drives Dad & Mom took with me along for the ride. I remember being the cooler boy for Dad's refreshments, Mom made the popcorn. We would drive and tour homes for sale never finding one that could take the place of the Norris Road Homestead and all the privacy that little road had. The summer nights Dad took in on Brian's manicured lawn playing with the twins I sure miss that House. I think driving in the country relaxed Dad and gave Mom a chance to get out of the house.
I enjoyed the chance to play golf with Dad because Tina and I did not always get this opportunity. I used to go with Dad on depositions in Cottonwood and drives to Jerome and Sedona. I remember getting in trouble too, Dad had a baseball, I think it was signed by the World Series Champs the St. Louis Browns from 40's I took it out and used it. This of course made it nearly impossible to read some of the autographs. I now realize it not only had sentimental value it would now be worth $$$$.
I can remember in the early 70's when at Christmas time I received my first set of left-handed golf clubs. Dad ran into someone in San Diego while watching Tom play who had a set and he sent them to us that fall. Tina showed me where Mom use to keep gifts for Christmas (under their bed) so we used to check there every Christmas.
I loved the family vacation to California, playing golf in the Junior World Mission Bay Par Three Course. I remember losing my baseball glove on the roof of Torres Pines Hotel, trying to throw it to our balcony. I loved visiting Disneyland and visiting mom's Aunt for discounted tickets. I remember camping wasn't Dad's favorite but we would put the tent up during the summer and leave it up for months. I think this was the extra room the kids used when relatives visited us from out of town. I do remember one vacation in the White Mountains when we rented an RV mom loved it indoor amenities seemed like home. Lynx Lake and paddleboats, Picnic Lunches (Oak Creek, Jerome/Cottonwood), and playing golf at the par three course.
I had a couple newspaper routes my favorite on was the The Prescott Courier downtown route that way I could swing by Dad office and see him. Many times he would give me a ride home I thought that was great. I remember have extra paper and sailing them to some of his associates around the Courthouse I don't believe Dad like the idea of me hangout downtown. Like Tom some day's Dad would let me play pool at the Bird Cage and have a Roy Rodger's in the back room since I was a Minor.
I can remember going to the Oakley's with Dad and Mom for Holiday Parties (cocktails for the adults) games for the kids, the Oakley's they always had great TOYS and GAMES we didn't have, it was always fun. I can remember Dad having me sit in the corner because I was out control. I guess you can say it was an early version of a TIME-OUT. I think you can almost say our Dad was the inventor of it.
Merry Christmas to All! I miss everyone especially during the Holiday's.
Terry

Hey Uncle Bob,
How are you doing? We got your Christmas package from mom and dad thanks so much for your consideration, you never seem to miss a beat. Hopefully, by now, you have received not one but two Christmas cards. I was just sitting here at work with idle time, and figured I could make use of it replying to your email, and sending it back to me at home ready to go. As I just can't seem to find the time to do this at home.
I spoke with Scott yesterday, he informed me of his email to you. I have not opened it as of yet, because I don't want to feel like my memories were scripted. I recall sitting on Grandpa's lap at the house on Norris Rd. while he would rub his stubbly face on mine, and make me laugh. He would also take his knuckles and briskly rub them on my hair, I believe he called it a "Dutch rub", it did hurt, but it may have been a form of conditioning us (Scott) for the real world to come. It was all in jest.
I can remember my dad making grandma and grandpa the wooden swing. Grandpa firing up the grill was always a big deal too. We used to play in the rocks just above the brick wall in the backyard, and watch Grandpa smoke cigars, and cook that bbq chicken, done just right. What stands out the most was the hotel room in Phoenix. Grandpa was here for something and we came to visit him in the room. Being the mischievous imps Scott and myself were, we got a hold of the matches in the bathroom decided to see what would happen when fire mixes with toilet paper. Needless to say we got into big trouble. It took me more than once to live by the old adage "learn from your mistakes".
Finally, I remember getting up in the middle of the night occasionally having to make those last minute trips to Prescott, while Grandpa was not doing so well, we waited outside of the hospital, sometimes in the snow. While my dad was allowed to visit with him, I remember we were not, so we would try to find his room from the outside. Being only 7 years old at the time, I can't really come up with anything more. I do think he was very proud to have grandchildren we being at the top of the list of many more to come. It's a shame he did not get to see all of the extensions to the family tree he and Grandma seemed to strive for so proudly. That's what I can remember. Look forward to seeing you this weekend.
Love, Kevin

Scott's response:
Unfortunately, I was too young to remember a whole lot about my Grandpa. I can remember certain times we had together, such as, when he let me drive a golf cart at Antelope Hills. I can vividly remember the bar-b-ques we had at the Norris road house. Grandpa would be drinking his cans of Budweiser, and he would let Kevin and I have sips of it. How ironic that 25 years later I would be working for Anheuser-Busch.
I can also remember him rubbing his whiskers on my face, and how my dad used to do the same thing. There is one memory that sticks out in my mind that Kevin and I talked about the other night. I'm not sure what Grandma and Grandpa were doing in Phoenix but they were staying at a hotel. We went to see them there and Kevin and I snuck into the bathroom where we found some matches. We thought it would be cool to light some toilet paper on fire. We almost burned the hotel down, and all I can remember is Grandpa being so mad at us.
I really enjoyed reading all of your memories of Grandpa. It kind of gave me an idea of what kind of man he was in life. In all honesty, I didn't really need those stories. All I needed was to look at all of you to figure out what a great father he was. I see the the way you all turned out; your actions, and the way you treated Kevin and I as well as your own kids. You had to have learned that from someone, and that someone was him. I thank you for the memories, and I hope this reaches everyone in good health. If we ever do this for Grandma, I will have a lot more entertaining memories of her. She was one of a kind. I love you all very much,
Scott

Judge Ogg had this to say in his Christmas note:
I was happy to hear from you. Your father and I worked together for many happy years, he was a very capable, hard-working man, whom I always admired. In wish you and all the Gray Family a Merry Christmas and the best in 2004.
Jack L. Ogg

Subject: Re: Memories of Daddy
Please send your responses to everyone on the list, reply, Brian!!!

.....................................................................................

I remember mom making Chocolate Chip Cookies for everybody for every occasion, she would make some for Callie Klein when she was sick once. Mom didn't know she had diabetes. I guess mom remembered when all the people in Weimar brought us food when Philip died, even though some of it tasted funny, we tried to eat it all. She took cookies to Mrs. Brewer (Bill, Mary, Patrick, and Diane's mom) when she was in the hospital...
Oh, for any occasion, she would prepare some ahead of time, and hide them in the closet by the front door, up on a shelf so the kids wouldn't eat them because they were for Kevin and Scott, or for Vince's "birthday, next time we go to Phoenix." Well, I sneaked one, and I don't know how long they had been there, but they sure tasted old. Maybe those were the ones she cooked for me last year. On top of all the work she did at home, there was always all kinds of cookies, fudge, etc. for me on visiting sunday, once a month when the family came to visit me at Saint John's Seminary in San Antonio. She would pack a lunch when we didn't go to a restaurant, and she would bring a cake for celebrating birthdays in the park. At Christmas she would give me the fruit cakes and peanut brittle because she knew nobody liked these things, and "Mikey" (aka Bob) would eat them. I loved it, and when I would come home for lunch or late in the evening from Phoenix, there were always my favorite, LEFTOVERS!!
"Just warm something up in the microwave."
When mom died, Cecilia suggested that I make Chocolate Cookies for "the kids" for the potluck after the funeral.
Mom would save scraps of paper daddy didn't want and write or type letters on the smallest piece of paper she could find and she loved postcards, she learned to abbreviate evertything, C. B. V, T&T, S, ....then it was "the kids" did such and such...
it would be signed "Mom, Dad and all four, all six... all 9, mom and the gang, mom, dad & all at Gray Manor,... to Bob Gray, freshman (Frosh), or Bob Gray esq. (She learned that when she worked at Esquire Magazine)...The Golfing Grays or The Gray Family of Golfers...
She taught me to dance and love music, and she inspired me in art when she showed me how to make home-made Christmas ornaments in Chicago, chains out of red and green construction paper, and help me with school projects.
When we were in Texas and didn't have much money, she read somewhere how to make ornaments for your tree out of tin can lids, "you could cut them out with a metal wire cutter."
I was clumsy and not very strong to use that big wire cutter and I cut myself. It made the ornament red, alright, but it also hurt.
My most touching memory was when I had an argument or a discussion with Mom at the house on Norris Road. Sometimes when she was overworked she would say, "I didn't have to have all these kids, I could have gone out gallavanting or...(I'm sure she could have had a career as a photographer or a hundred other things)."
Well, this one afternoon, I went too far and said something like, "Why didn't you, then?"
And she walked out of the house and down the dirt driveway, and turned tohe corner at Klein's house, towards town. After awhile I thought...what if she doesn't come back??
So I got in the station wagon and caught up with her down at the bridge by the gully behind the employment office. I stopped the car and got out and walked up to her side.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'll be all right, I'm just going to church to make a visit." she said.
I could have cried, I felt my heart would break. I wonder now how many times she would go to church when things got tough for her. I know she went to daily Mass alot after Dad died and we were all grown and she had time to herself. That was the other career she could have had, like Mary, just to be with the Lord, instead of like Martha. Without any distractions, she would meditate and God would lift up her spirits. Mom was like Mary and Martha combined.
Mom and Dad trusted God to watch out after us, and God sure did a lot of watching after me, that's for sure.
She just loved people and wanted to know all about them and we were lucky to have her pray for everyone. She signed her letters,

I hardly know where to start with memories:
I remember trying to teach her to drive a stick shift automobile. For some reason, I seem to recall going up into Prescott Heights to do it one time. Why that area was picked I don't know. But you could sympathize with her, as you never learned either, did you(, Bobby)?
I remember her wanting to go and visit people just across town i.e. Phoenix to Scottsdale, now I do that, to Pat.
I can remember all the times she took care of me when I would get my migraines. Probably told you all that before. But it still sticks in my mind, and I'm so thankful for the medications they have now for them and that I grew out the severity of them, (how yucky for her).
I think now of the times she used to walk after she no longer had a car and even when she did have one from and to church or the hospital (pink lady day), or even the grocery store with bags of groceries, with her lame foot. She always was a trooper, a hard headed Neiman woman. Which is what I'm often accused of lately, or was that a hard headed Gray woman. Does anyone know?
I think of the time sitting on the stairs to the basement on Norris Rd., having a good cry with mom, missing life in Weimar. That was after we had already lived a couple of years it seems in Prescott.
And she was always ready to have a party for the kids inviting the whole class, set up with some theme or other. When we got older there were dinners out to Pine Cone Inn for the birthday girl or boy with Roy Rodgers or Shirley Temple cocktails. I remember having to do very little housework, or cooking. Maybe dusting and cleaning the combs and brushes out and occassionally vaccumming. Doing the dishes now that was the hardest for all of us. We used to argue about doing that as adults. And for some reason I remember getting books (Bobbsey Twins, Little Women) I think those came from Daddy though maybe prompted by mom, just out of the blue no birthday or holiday. That's all for now folks.

SaraLou&Pat Dedmore

note from Bob: I remember right after mom learned to drive (Dad decided to rteach her, so she could take the kids to the golf course for after school practice). It was one of the first hot days and she held the steering wheel so tight she burned her hands and couldn/t drive for a few days. Later dad got her a leather steering wheel cover that was thermal, for the AZ heat. September 11, 1920-August 13, 1991

August 13, 2004:
Some of Bob's Memories:
Start out with

I remember mom making Chocolate Chip Cookies for everybody for every occasion, she would make some for Callie Klein when she was sick once. Mom didn't know she had diabetes. I guess mom remembered when all the people in Weimar brought us food when Philip died, even though some of it tasted funny, we tried to eat it all. She took cookies to Mrs. Brewer (Bill, Mary, Patrick, and Diane's mom) when she was in the hospital...
Oh, for any occasion, she would prepare some ahead of time, and hide them in the closet by the front door, up on a shelf so the kids wouldn't eat them because they were for Kevin and Scott, or for Vince's "birthday, next time we go to Phoenix." Well, I sneaked one, and I don't know how long they had been there, but they sure tasted old. Maybe those were the ones she cooked for me last year. On top of all the work she did at home, there was always all kinds of cookies, fudge, etc. for me on visiting sunday, once a month when the family came to visit me at Saint John's Seminary in San Antonio. She would pack a lunch when we didn't go to a restaurant, and she would bring a cake for celebrating birthdays in the park. At Christmas she would give me the fruit cakes and peanut brittle because she knew nobody liked these things, and "Mikey" (aka Bob) would eat them. I loved it, and when I would come home for lunch or late in the evening from Phoenix, there were always my favorite, LEFTOVERS!!
"Just warm something up in the microwave."
When mom died, Cecilia suggested that I make Chocolate Cookies for "the kids" for the potluck after the funeral.
Mom would save scraps of paper daddy didn't want and write or type letters on the smallest piece of paper she could find and she loved postcards, she learned to abbreviate evertything, C. B. V, T&T, S, ....then it was "the kids" did such and such...
it would be signed "Mom, Dad and all four, all six... all 9, mom and the gang, mom, dad & all at Gray Manor,... to Bob Gray, freshman (Frosh), or Bob Gray esq. (She learned that when she worked at Esquire Magazine)...The Golfing Grays or The Gray Family of Golfers...
She taught me to dance and love music, and she inspired me in art when she showed me how to make home-made Christmas ornaments in Chicago, chains out of red and green construction paper, and help me with school projects.
When we were in Texas and didn't have much money, she read somewhere how to make ornaments for your tree out of tin can lids, "you could cut them out with a metal wire cutter."
I was clumsy and not very strong to use that big wire cutter and I cut myself. It made the ornament red, alright, but it also hurt.
My most touching memory was when I had an argument or a discussion with Mom at the house on Norris Road. Sometimes when she was overworked she would say, "I didn't have to have all these kids, I could have gone out gallavanting or...(I'm sure she could have had a career as a photographer or a hundred other things)."
Well, this one afternoon, I went too far and said something like, "Why didn't you, then?"
And she walked out of the house and down the dirt driveway, and turned tohe corner at Klein's house, towards town. After awhile I thought...what if she doesn't come back??
So I got in the station wagon and caught up with her down at the bridge by the gully behind the employment office. I stopped the car and got out and walked up to her side.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'll be all right, I'm just going to church to make a visit." she said.
I could have cried, I felt my heart would break. I wonder now how many times she would go to church when things got tough for her. I know she went to daily Mass alot after Dad died and we were all grown and she had time to herself. That was the other career she could have had, like Mary, just to be with the Lord, instead of like Martha. Without any distractions, she would meditate and God would lift up her spirits. Mom was like Mary and Martha combined.
Mom and Dad trusted God to watch out after us, and God sure did a lot of watching after me, that's for sure.
She just loved people and wanted to know all about them and we were lucky to have her pray for everyone. She signed her letters,

..........................................................
Carl J. Schindler, 86, of Fairview Heights, Illinois... born July 28, 1916, in East Saint Louis, died Tuesday, May 20, 2003, at Caseyville Nursing Center, Caseyville, Illinois... Carl retired in 1974 after 30 years as an electrician with General Steel Castings in Granite City, Ill., and also worked at St. Elizabeth's Hospital, Belleville, Ill. He was a member of Knights of Columbus Council 592 of East St. Louis, Ill.; and Holy Name Society. Mr. Schindler was a World War II U.S. Navy veteran... He was preceded in death by his wife, Virginia, nee Sweet, Schindler; his parents, Fred and Anna, nee Schaefer, Schindler; a sister, Sister Marie Virginella of the Sisters of Christian Charity... Surviving are four daughters, Suzanne (Al) Schillinger of Swansea, Ill., Karen (Charles) Franke of Caseyville, Ill., Jane (Jim) Johnson of Louisville, Ky., and Laura (Brent) Bishop of Fairview Heights, Ill.; two sons, Jerry (Delia) Schindler of St. Peters, Mo., and Chris (Carol) Schindler of Tulsa, Okla.; 19 grandchildren; 10 great-grandchildren; a brother, Edward (Catherine) Schindler of Kirkwood, Mo.; and the Ceal Schindler family... Donations may be made to the American Cancer Society or to the Parkinson Center.
Visitation: Friends may call from 4 to 9 p.m. Friday, May 23, 2003, at Kassly Mortuary, Fairview Heights, Ill... Funeral procession is to leave at 10:30 a.m. Saturday, May 24, 2003, from Kassly Mortuary, Fairview Heights, Ill., to St. Albert the Great Church, Fairview Heights, Ill., for an 11 a.m. Mass of Christian burial with Father James T. Long officiating. Interment will be in Holy Cross Cemetery, Fairview Heights, Illinois

... KASSLY FUNERAL HOME, Fairview Heights, Ill. Published in the Belleville News-Democrat from 5/22/2003 - 5/23/2003... Carl's second wife, Ceal Lawler, was in their wedding party in 1941, and they were both widowed when they married.
Public record- whitepages.com:
Schillinger, Al and Suzanne (Schindler)
3852 Timberlake Dr
Swansea, IL 62226-1937
(618) 235-2235