�Master Windu?� Bai shook the Jedi by the shoulders, trying to get some kind of response, but all he got in reply from Mace was a rather goofy smile spreading almost from ear to ear.

�Say something, please!� The padawan pleaded.

The smile became a grin.

�It�s no use, son.� Dylain shook his head. �There�s enough tranquilizer in your friend to flatten ten Rancours. He�ll be feeling pretty mellow, I should think.� He smirked appreciatively. �It�s good stuff.�

Bai ignored the keeper. He was now in as bad a situation as he�d ever been; stuck in a never-ending zoo with dangerous loose animals, drugged initiates, a wise-cracking runaway kid, a trigger-happy zoo keeper with the worst case of nerves he�d ever seen, and a lurking Krayt Dragon hiding in the undergrowth�

�Speak to me, Master Windu.� He begged.

�Quack!� Said Mace.

Wonderful. Add to the list a Jedi Master who thinks he�s a duck.

�Quack!� Windu repeated.

Bai stood up and closed his eyes. �I want my mother.�

The Alderaani kid stared at him. �But you don�t have a mother.�

�I know.� Growled Bai. �But whoever she is, I want her anyway!�

*******

Jemmiah winced again from the pain in her ribs, exchanging meaningful looks with Kylenn as further down the path she could see Abran receiving his grilling from Master Jinn. The words �IDIOT� and �WITLESS� punctuated the otherwise hushed conversation that had been going on for the past five minutes or so.

�You don�t look well.� Kylenn offered hesitantly.

�So I�ve been told. But considering I�ve been poisoned, constricted and nearly frightened half to death, I think I�m in quite good shape.� Jemmiah replied. She frowned, as she felt that pinching on her rear again.

�It�s him.� She glared.

�Who?� Kylenn followed her gaze until it came to rest on Abran, still being reprimanded by the tall Jedi Master. His head may have been facing the ground, but she could see the light of amusement in the corner of his eye.

�It�s HIM!� Jemmiah complained. �He�s been using the force to pinch my butt!�

�No, you must be wrong�Jay wouldn�t do that!� Kylenn tried to stand up for her fellow padawan and friend. �I mean, he can act the clown sometimes I admit, but��

�But nothing.� Jemmiah�s brows came together almost conspiratorially. �We�re talking about the person who rigged the cards at a game of strip sabaac just so he could have an excuse to show himself off to the ladies present!�

�There were ladies present?� Kylenn repeated, aghast.

�Well,� Jemmiah amended, �That�s debatable. There was only me!� She finished up with a dazzling smile.

�What did Obi-Wan say?� Kylenn said in shock.

�Nothing. He doesn�t know. And he�s not going too, either. You know what Ben�s like. So darn protective. I wouldn�t want him rushing over and thumping your Jay Abran.�

�He�s not MY Jay Abran.� Kylenn replied uncomfortably, color travelling steadily across her face.

�No?� Smiled Jemmiah. She turned away. �We�ll see.�

They could see Jinn gesticulating to Kylenn�s initiates. �INCOMPETANT� and �IRRESPONSIBLE� definitely seemed to be favorite words with the Jedi at the moment. Kylenn had lost count of how many times her friend had been called them. She saw Abran sneakily gesture, almost unnoticeably, with his fingers towards them and then heard Jemmiah�s angry yelp.

�You see? I told you it was him! Sith, is he going to be in deep poodoo when I get hold of him!�

�Not if I catch him first!� Kylenn growled, embarrassed by this assault on her new friend. �Have you got a plan?�

�Not yet. I�ll think of something. Inspiration�s my specialty.�

She glanced across at the trees.

�Master Jinn,� Kylenn shouted, �the initiates!�

He turned to look in the direction that she was indicating, and saw that it was indeed their group of missing initiates. Abran swallowed. Qui-Gon didn�t quite care for the way they were staring at them.

Jemmiah felt the hairs on the back of her neck lift. She gradually began to back away. �I don�t know about you,� she intimated to Kylenn, �but I�ve had enough of this for today. You see that tree?�

Kylenn nodded.

�Get your initiates up it as quickly as you can. And I suggest you follow them!�

Kylenn didn�t waste any time. She hurried her little group towards the trees and glanced over her shoulder to see Jemmiah continue her casual retreat.

�Master Jinn,� She yelled, �now would be an excellent time to put your sports day expertise in practice.�

Jinn looked confused.

�She means leggggggggitttttt!� Abran explained as he ran to catch her up.

Qui-Gon stared at the initiates. There was something completely evil about these force-wielding cannoids. The way their tongues lolled out of their mouths, for one. The growling for another.

�Now wouldn�t be a good time to distract you with the force, would it?� He breathed. �GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!�

�Evidently not.� He licked dry lips. Behind him, Kylenn was helping shove the last of her initiates up the tree. Abran was helping Jemmiah into the lower branches by placing an unwelcome hand on a rather obvious part of her anatomy, and got a smack for his pains.

Qui-Gon looked round for inspiration, and his eyes alighted on something close by on the ground.

He bent over and picked up a stick, waving it aloft in the air.

�Here boys!� He whistled. �Fetch!�

As the initiates charged him, he wondered if it had been such a good idea�

*******

The Coruscant zoo was madness. Pure madness. It was supposed to be closed, but no employee had had the time to close it. Thankfully, most people had been smart enough to have left already. All manner of chaos roamed the pathways. Things could not get any worse. Meanwhile, outside, the sun had slowly begun to sink below the horizon. Finally, it disappeared altogether, and night was upon them.

Things got worse.

They sat there. Waiting.

The sky was getting very dark. Qui-Gon looked around him at his several companions. Jay Abran, as subdued as the Jedi Master had ever seen him. Kylenn, who had her eyes closed either through sheer exhaustion or simply saying a silent prayer for their salvation. Jemmiah sat shivering next to him, feeling the effects of what he could only describe as a momentous day. Dotted all around were Kylenn�s five initiates, looking smaller and more vulnerable than their few precious years. The Wookie was only young, but the branch he was sat upon was almost bending under his weight.

And down below, Abran�s initiates circled the tree they were sat in.

Yoda would know all about the whole fiasco by now. There would be little point in trying to cover up the series of mishaps that had beset them since their arrival at the zoo as Yoda would soon see through any deception. He knew Qui-Gon of old.

He thought through the whole grizzly affair. Primarily, he was most concerned how they were going to get back to the temple, but if he were honest at the back of his mind was the perpetual worry over his padawan and his former ward. There was more to this matter than met the eye, and Qui-Gon had the sneaking feeling that Mace was involved somewhere along the line. And if he HAD been helping the two of them to meet in secret�

Jinn dismissed the annoyance he felt rise within him. Anger would do no good. Anyway, he had no proof.

Yet.

Jemmiah was staring off into the sky. Evla would be getting worried by now. And what about Ben and Simeon? Surely they must be looking for them?

�SOMEONE must be looking for us.� She said in a quiet voice. She hadn�t really meant to say it out loud.

Qui-Gon looked at her.

�You should rest. We may be here sometime.�

�Why?� She got angry. �You�re s�posed to be a Jedi Master. Why don�t you do something?�

�I�m open to suggestions.�

�They�re only kids, for Siths sake.�

�Those kids pulled off and ate one of your boots.� Qui-Gon replied pointedly.

�Yeah. Won�t be reimbursed for them, will I?� She sulked.

Silence flooded the wooded area, save for the strange cawing and growling of unidentified creatures. The tension that filled the dusky sky was palpable. Just when he thought she�d calmed down, she surprised him by snatching at her other boot, jerking it off her foot and wielding it in her left hand. He saw a flash of pain on her face, superseded quickly by fury.

�Infact,� she yelled at the initiates below, �you might as well have the other one seeing as how you�ve got such a taste for leather!� The remaining boot was hurled out of the tree, followed by a whining sound as it hit one of the kids bellow.

�Jemmiah!� Qui-Gon replied sharply and grabbed hold of her arm. �Sit back down.�

�Yes, why not?� She assumed a mock-carefree attitude. �After all, there�s nothing else to do is there?�

�Is she all right?� Abran mouthed.

�What is the matter with you?� Qui-Gon�s voice rose in desperation.

�What�s the matter?� She let incredulity bleed into her Corellian accent. �It�s fast approaching night, there�s a bunch of lupine Sithspawn chomping it�s way through my wardrobe and I�m stuck up a tree with a load of crazy people who can�t even walk into a zoo without getting arrested for kidnapping or forming dubious attachments to furry animals!�

�Or chaining people to railings on top of ant hills.� Jinn shot back.

Jemmiah didn�t have an answer.

She sat herself back down; taking pains to be mindful of her injured ribs and refusing to look at him.

�People go mad when they�re stuck together for prolonged periods of time. You read about it everyday. They end up going peculiar and eating each other.�

�That�s not likely, is it.� Qui-Gon added somewhat tartly. What sort of mother was she going to make if she kept carrying on like this? It must be hormones, he decided. Yes. That was the likeliest answer. He tried to reach out a hand to her but she rejected his offer of emotional support by shrugging him away. He felt rather hurt.

�Well, if it does happen, HE is the first one on the menu.� She snarled at Jay Abran.

�Me?� He laughed. �What have I done?�

�You know fine!�

�I think you�ve been in the sun too long.� Abran replied. �Obi-Wan always said you were a bit unstable. Must be all that fiery Corellian blood.�

�Do you want me to spill yours?� She hissed.

�Ooooh!� Abran rubbed his hands, �Is there trouble in paradise?�

�If you think I�m giving YOU a second chance, you can forget it, Bantha breath!�

�I wouldn�t have you if you dangled naked from the council chamber ceiling covered in Takkini sauce!� Abran retorted, then instantly regretted his words.

�Calm down!� Repeated Qui-Gon. �I suggest if you wish to discuss your personal problems you do it away from the initiates, and preferably not when we all have to suffer the sordid details.�

�I should think sauce is a very apt word for her.� Muttered Abran. �If you only knew half of what went on at her sixteenth birthday celebrations.�

�Leave her alone.� Kylenn grabbed Abran�s padawan braid firmly.

�When did you become such a big fan?� Abran gritted his teeth against the sharp tug on his scalp.

�Since she had to put up with your pestering.� Kylenn glanced around and saw several surprised faces.

Probably wondering how come I�ve got all assertive, she realized.

Jemmiah was quietly seething. She swore for the best part of a minute in fluent Corellian, some of the words Qui-Gon did not understand but nevertheless got the gist of.

�And what�s that supposed to mean?� Abran snorted when her tirade had ended.

�Let�s just say it had something to do with a certain portion of your anatomy and a large Bandomeerian marrow!� Jemmiah bit back.

�How does Kenobi put up with you?� Abran shook his head in amazement. �You�ve fried a relay circuit or two, if you ask me!�

�At least I HAVE relay circuits to fry!� She spat. �You can�t put in what nature left out in the first place. You have the sensitivity of an electric Nerf-Prod!�

�You mean I can set sparks flying!� He said smugly, fluttering his eyelids.

�No. I mean once the initial shock�s worn off, you�re only a pain in the rear!� She thought she almost heard Kylenn chortle quietly at that one. �I�ve got news for you. If I were on a double date with a Hutt, you wouldn�t be my first choice. I�d sooner clean the temple latrines with my own tongue.�

�Good idea.� Growled Abran. �That way we�d know where it had been.�

Qui-Gon snapped momentarily. �You�re behavior is appalling, both of you! These children could teach you a lesson in manners! You are both in enough trouble as it is without adding to it.�

Surprisingly, Jemmiah was the first one to back down.

�Sorry,� she mumbled at Jay Abran. He blinked as Qui-Gon indicated with his eyebrow that reciprocation might be a good idea.

�Oh. Er�yeah. Sorry. Didn�t mean it.�

�Yeah, right.� She growled to herself.

�I didn�t think you�d apologize first.� He tried unsuccessfully to regain his former cheeriness. �I�m tired and I hurt. It doesn�t matter, does it?� She offered wearily.

Qui-Gon reached over again and this time she didn�t object to being pulled into his embrace. Kylenn exchanged a glance with Abran. This was interesting�

�You should have said your ribs were hurting again.� Qui-Gon said.

�I thought you Jedi types were able to sense these things.� She groaned.

�Not when people are so skilled at covering things up, � he replied, �I would have had a medic check you over but my com-link isn�t working.�

�Doesn�t matter.� She mumbled, closing her eyes. Qui-Gon looked at her for a while, and suddenly it struck him.

I�m going to be a Grandfather! Sith, he thought. I�m not old enough. Followed closely by the realization that he WAS old enough.

Jemmiah snuggled into his side. �Master Jinn?� She asked sleepily.

�What is it?�

�Please ask Jay to stop pinching my butt with the force!�

�If you leave fruit preserve jars in the garden, expect wasps.� He said cheekily. �I couldn�t help myself. Those tight pants make for such an inviting target!� He received a heated look from Kylenn.

Qui-Gon wondered about the fickle nature of friendship. Biting each other�s heads off one moment and sharing a joke the next. Kylenn didn�t seem too happy, although just whom she was unhappy with was a matter of speculation.

Just when he thought things had returned to normal, Abran opened his big mouth again. �You know, I�d like to be buried in a place like this.�

�It can be arranged.� Jemmiah said with a yawn.

�I forgot, you�re giving your body to medical science, aren�t you? That�s quite fitting. She�s given it to nearly everyone else�� He grinned.

Qui-Gon levered himself carefully away from Jemmiah and leant over to the padawan, placing a hand upon his forehead. �Sleep!� He commanded, and Abran immediately relinquished his consciousness.

�Thank the Sith for that!� Jemmiah said.

*******

An-Paj considered that it might be a worthwhile, and financially rewarding experience if he wrote his memoirs. Today�s events would figure prominently.

Padawan�s Kenobi and Cates had, after a considerable struggle, been carried back towards the direction of the transport: in Kenobi�s case with great discomfort. He had a Biwacalla egg-sized lump on his head caused by being dropped by the initiates during their journey and a nasty nettle rash on the side of his face. The green tinge to his skin was visible, but nowhere near as pronounced as that of Simeon. He was also ranting about being stabbed in the side by a pin-wielding maniac, and for some unknown reason had nearly passed out in fear when An-Paj had produced a thermometer to take his temperature.

That one always did have a phobia about healers,
Cates had been mercifully asleep from virtually the moment they�d found him. Mercifully for everyone else, that was. He was a very dark shade of green, something the healer felt extremely guilty about. Sandolomide was powerful stuff if you used it in extreme doses. It could trigger violent mood swings and personality changes within moments, and the hallucinations that the two padawans had experienced were fairly classic symptoms of Sandolomide poisoning. An-Paj knew that the best way of relieving them both of the symptoms was not a pleasant one, but a necessary evil all the same. Kenobi was not going to be too pleased to wake up in the hospital having had his stomach pumped AGAIN.

And the fault was arguably Dimallie�s on both of the occasions. He hoped she never got the chance to visit him in the ward, as Kenobi was a legendary aim with a bedpan�

Simeon had woken up only once on their journey back, when a Firvad-Screamer Monkey Squirrel had jumped on him whilst the initiates had stopped for a break in their exertions. It had started doing rather obscene and unspeakable things to the apprentice�s leg, but Cates had either seemed to enjoy the experience or be too exhausted to care. And the initiates were fortunately too young to understand what was going on.

Darkness had descended rather quickly. Despite his best efforts to contact Masters Jinn and Windu neither responded to his calls on their comlink frequencies. And something strange was happening in this place. All the enclosures seemed to be bereft of animals. Probably had something to do with the fact they were all outside perpetrating acts of dubious moral standards against helpless, inebriated padawans.

One of the initiates had been sick. This had triggered off virtually every one of the kids to do likewise, until the pathway that they had walked over was a veritable trail of vomit. It had set Kenobi off, and that had NOT been pretty, considering what he�d had to drink. And so it had continued for the last ten minutes. Kenobi was in a rather sorry state. His color was poor, his head was thumping and there was sick hanging on his braid. Qui-Gon would have been deeply unhappy with his padawan�s appearance had he been there to see it. He�d have got him treatment at the healers initially and then when he was sufficiently recovered he would have killed him. Just ever so slightly.

Something strange was happening to Master Yoda. An-Paj wasn�t sure what to make of it, as the aging Jedi Master didn�t exactly move with fluidity at the best of times, but it did appear as if he were just a little on the rigid side. He seemed to walk with his knees straight, and his skin seemed somewhat stretched to look at, as if tightened over a drum.

Curious, thought An-Paj.

�Master Yoda, are you feeling OK?� He ventured.

The reply was difficult to make out as Yoda barely moved his lips. �Hine, I am.�

�Sorry, Master?�

�Hine I am, hi said.�

�Master, why aren�t you moving your lips?� An-Paj examined the master closely. Sith, he was as stiff as a board!

�Hextinguisher hoam, dhried my skin hit has.� Yoda replied.

�I�m not sure I�ve got anything that�ll help.� An-Paj said desperately. I think I have some cream that might work, but it�s back at the temple. We really should be going. I�ve got two stomachs to pump and a gaggle of sick initiates to look after.�

�Hmmph!� Yoda snorted, barely able to move. You could serve your tea on him, he looked that flat and solid, grinned An-Paj to himself.

Yoda must have picked up on the healer�s mental image. �Hunny, you hink this his?� �Hi�m horry, Master Hoda hut hi hink hit�s haps-halutely hilarious!� An-Paj laughed, mimicking Yoda�s frozen lips. Yoda tried to prod him with his cane, but couldn�t reach him due to his tightened skin. His cane was stuck in his hands.

Thank you, Padawan Kenobi, An-Paj smiled. If I�d known this was the only way to stop being bruised, I�d have used an �hextinguisher� on him ages ago!

He stared ahead. The transport was still there. Except it had a Flipperphant sized dent right in the middle of it. Something had obviously felt decidedly tired and parked itself on top of their transport for a quick rest before continuing on its merry way. And as for the mess left behind on the roof�

�I think trees make excellent beds, don�t you Master Yoda?� An-Paj sighed.

Yoda, not surprisingly, said nothing.

He wasn't really able to do anything else.