BANG!

Bang, bang, bang�thump!

Obi-Wan felt himself slowly coming to. He knew he wasn�t moving under his own steam, yet he had the vaguest of notions that he WAS in motion. His left eye opened a tiny crack. Yes, he thought. He was definitely moving, although his brain couldn�t quite sort out the specifics. Kenobi tried to persuade his right eye to follow the example of its twin but he soon gave it up as a lost cause.

Why did it seem that the world was upside down?

He felt damned uncomfortable as the sky above and the grass by his side moved by far too rapidly for his taste. Obi-Wan tried to speak, to tell the legs he knew should be there but could not see to pack it in and give him a break.

�Mmmhhwhassgoiiinnnonnnn?�

He wasn�t surprised when his rebellious anatomy did not respond to his question. Probably didn�t understand. Sith, he didn�t even understand!

Bang, bang, bang, thump, bang, bang� THWACK!

Ouch! Kenobi felt his head come in contact with something hard like a large rock. Which wasn�t too surprising, as the object WAS in fact, a large rock.

That shouldn�t have happened, he thought.

Ah, yes, he realized. His head was being scraped along the ground. Not where it usually was, but it was there now. Which explained why his feet were absent without leave. He dared to risk a hasty glance upwards, and realized that he was in the undignified position of being dragged across a lawn by the legs, as if he were an old sack. By several small initiates.

Obi-Wan extended a protective hand towards his head and then lay still. In the background he heard voices muttering.

�Oh, now look what you�ve gone and done! You�ve dropped him!� said one voice.

�Have not!�

�Have so. He was beginning to wake up but you�ve gone and killed him!�

�He isn�t dead.�

�Bet he is. I heard the crack his skull made when his head hit that rock. He�s dead, and you killed him! They�ll put you away for that.�

�Yeah, you�re not allowed to kill padawans. It�s against the law. And anyway, Master Yoda doesn�t like it.� Cut in a third.

�But he�s NOT dead.�

�We can find out.�

�How?�

�Wait a moment. I�ve got something here that�ll help��

There was a vague shuffling sound, as if someone was rummaging for something. Something told Obi-Wan he should be paying more attention than he was.

�He does look kinda dead, doesn�t he?�

�That�s because he looks a bit green.�

�Master Jinn�s gonna be really mad if you�ve totaled him.�

�Then why didn�t you say something sooner?�

�I was carrying his feet! I can�t do two things at once.� Grumbled a sarcastic voice.

There was some more scrambling about.

�Ah, it�s OK. I�ve got it.�

Got what, Obi-Wan wondered uneasily, desperately trying to persuade his eyes to open again.

�Right! This�ll prove it. I�m going to stick this in his side��

�EEEEEEEYYYYOWWWWWCCCHHHH!� Yelped Kenobi sitting up instantly.

Isadora looked surprised. �We thought you were dead.�

�Carry on like that and I soon will be.� Obi-Wan growled, snatching away a long, sharp and extremely rusty brooch pin. �What�s the big idea dragging me along the ground as if I were a mattress or something?�

�You�re too heavy!� Isadora complained. �Master Yoda said we had to carry you and Padawan Cates back to the transport.�

�Master Yoda�s here?� Squeaked Obi-Wan in dismay.

�Yes. Don�t you remember?�

�Should I?� Kenobi gulped.

�You opened a fire extinguisher on him.�

Oh, hell, Obi-Wan grimaced to himself. This was not good. Extinguishing a Jedi Master was an extremely serious offence.

�I don�t remember.� He held his head.

�Happy to remind you, I will be.� Muttered Yoda, who had suddenly appeared by his side. He seemed to be tipping his head to the right. �Walk, you can?� He asked Kenobi.

Obi-Wan looked round. His head was clearing, but his vision was still blurry. And the sky still looked too pink.

�No.� He confessed to Yoda.

The older Jedi frowned. �Then continue carrying you, we will!�

�What�s this WE business?� Snorted Isadora.

If Yoda had heard her, he gave no indication. He just stood there, leaning on his stick, trying to rid his ears of the last of the foam that was still lodged inside.

�Gruel. Very nourishing, it is.� He said.

The initiates took a hint. They grabbed hold of Obi-Wan�s legs and started to drag him again.

�Now, wait�� the padawan began.

�Come!� Yoda gestured forwards with his stick, as Obi-Wan began his journey over the lawn again.

So THIS was Yoda�s revenge for the extinguisher. Obi-Wan sighed irritably. It could have been worse.

Bang, bang, bang, bang�

�SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTHHHHH!� Screamed Obi-Wan as he was dragged backwards through a pile of giant Hawk Nettles.

Further ahead, he heard Yoda chuckle.

*******

Mace Windu, if pressed, would have to admit that this was not his lucky day.

His dip in the pond had relieved him of the hair, if not the odor, that the over-friendly Murrit had left behind. Its other unfortunate legacy of tiny, blood-sucking ticks had shown a distinct reluctance to part company with him. His long, brown Jedi cloak had seen considerable misfortune already that day, and was now full of foul smelling pondweed. And to cap it all, a passing duck had managed to target his head with the sort of amazing accuracy the Republic�s best fighters would find hard to match with torpedoes.

He emerged from the water looking soaked and tired. And not a little bit fed up.

Bai decided it might be best to say nothing under the circumstances and so the apprentice shuffled over, taking off his own robe and holding it out to the master. Windu just kept staring ahead; lips pursed, and took the robe off the young Jedi without a word of thanks. Bai tried to think of something useful to say but couldn�t. Master Windu was considerably taller than he was, and the padawans robe looked extremely out of place kilted up high against the shivering Council member.

Altogether comical! How Bai wished he could record this moment for posterity!

One stony glance from Windu quelled any hint of a smile that had threatened to break forth on Bai�s lips.

�I think the ticks are dead.� The padawan offered lamely.

�They�re still attached, dead or otherwise.� Mace complained.

�An-Paj can remove them with some tweezers.� Bai replied. �He�s really good at that sort of thing, but then I suppose you�d know that from when he had to remove that rake from your�� His voice trailed off.

�I�ve had enough excitement for the moment.� Mace headed towards the speeder where the unconscious initiates lay huddled in the back. As he started to walk, he felt as if he�d brought half the pond out with him. Every step was accompanied by a loud squelching sound. �I�m getting out of here before anything else can go wrong.�

�I don�t think anything else CAN go wrong.� Bai offered as cheerfully as possible.

Windu stuck out a hand at lightening speed and grabbed the padawan confrontationally by the front of his tunic.

�Don�t EVER say that. Do you hear me?�

The astonished apprentice could only nod.

�I�m not going to let you, or them,� he pointed at the initiates, �or anyone else tempt fate. Got it.�

Bai let his head waggle up in down in the affirmative.

Windu let out a long breath. �Good. I don�t like this one little bit.� He let go of the padawan and stopped to wring out some water from his tunic. �You know, Master Jinn always says that history has an unpleasant way of repeating itself. Well, I�m not giving history the chance.�

�I�I don�t understand?� Bai frowned in confusion.

�It�s already happening.� Muttered Windu to himself. �But this is as far as it goes.�

�Master?�

�I mean, I�m a reasonable man. I work hard for the Council. I give to charity. I help old ladies across the road. I�m kind to children,� he paused, kicking the speeder in frustration, � So how come the force is always having a laugh at my expense? Why is it always me?�

Bai looked about uneasily. He stared at the bushes, and was pretty sure he could see movement there�

�If ANYTHING goes wrong, it�s never Qui-Gon�s fault. Or Depa Billaba�s fault. Or Dex Berlingside�s fault. It�s always ME!� He waved his arms in the air.

�Master Windu, I think we��

�Shut up! I�m releasing my anger into the force!� Yelled Windu.

�But, Master��

�I don�t care what happens now. This time I win! Nothing that happens to me is as bad as Qui-Gon having to face up to surrogate Grandfatherhood!� He laughed at that thought. Qui-Gon Jinn as a Grandfather!

�Excuse me?� Bai asked, his mouth slackening in shock. �What was that?�

�It doesn�t matter.� Windu hastily covered his mistake. He felt better now, anyway, for having got all that off his chest.

�But..�

�I think we ought to quit this hanging around and get moving, don�t you?� Mace asked. He felt his nose wrinkle at the first onset of a sneeze.

�AAAAAACCCHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!�

�I think you�ve caught a cold, Master Windu.� Bai stated.

�Just get in the speeder, laughing boy. I suggest you use the journey back to think how you�re going to explain to Master Yoda how come your initiates look like slumber-party left overs.�

�Master Windu, we CAN�T go yet!� Wailed Bai. �Our Alderaani kid has gone off again!�

�What!� He exclaimed, looking wildly about him. There was nothing, except for a rustle in the distant bushes. �Why didn�t you say?�

�I�ve been trying to tell you for the last five minutes!� Scowled Bai. �He could be anywhere.�

Mace reluctantly squelched his way towards the bushes.

�I hate that Kid.� He said, before another sneeze took hold of him.

*******

Dylain Bonar�s hand rested somewhat shakily on the long barrel of his harpoon tranquilizer gun. His old nemesis the Krayt Dragon was loose.

And he was more than ready.

He�d worked his way up through the ranks steadily over the years, from a junior keeper to a more senior post. Now he was running the whole show. It had taken him twenty-five years to do it. All through that time, he had one constant source of irritation: the damned dragon. It was a menace to the keepers, a menace to the public and ornery to boot. Not to mention ugly.

He�d even called her Betsy, in honor of his wife.

He�d always sworn that should the opportunity to settle a score with the vicious Betsy ever present itself, HE was the one that would be first in line. He fingered the barrel lovingly with the three remaining fingers he had left on his non-artificial hand. If only he could stop shaking!

It wasn�t fear, he decided. It might be excitement. Yes, that was it.

Or else it could be the anti-depressants.

No matter. As long as his aim was good, then maybe HE could get a blow in first, before that Sith slime of a giant deprived him of any more of his anatomy.

He heard a rustle in the bushes, and jumped about ten feet in the air. Matching the sight to his eyeline he unsteadily waited for his quarry to charge at him through the bushes with that blood-curdling scream, sounding a challenge. He knew she had come this way because her tracks had headed of in this direction. Dylain said a silent prayer to steady both his nerves and his sight.

There was some more movement, and then; A little boy appeared from out of the bushes and started to relieve himself behind one of the large Floradenia plants.

�What do you think you�re doing?� He snapped irritably.

The Alderaani kid replied. �What does it look like? I have to go! I can�t wait anymore. Master Windy�s being attacked by something and the excitement got too much for me, I guess.�

�ATTACKED!� Yelled Dylain. �Where?�

�By the pond.� The boy answered. �He keeps flapping his arms about and yelling about being eaten alive.�

�Stay here, kid!� Screamed the keeper. �I�ll save your friend.�

Dylain charged through the bushes and plants towards the pond. He only hoped he wouldn�t be too late.

*******

�I really, really, really, really, REALLY can�t stand that Alderaani kid.� Windu hissed through clenched teeth. He closed his eyes, trying to locate him with the force. �This way.� He jerked his head to the left.

�Why couldn�t you have drugged HIM?�

�I didn�t drug anyone!� Bai protested.

�Oh, yeah. I forgot. Qui-Gon�s the expert when it comes to that sort of thing.� Groused the dark Jedi Master. �Sith! Can�t he stay still for more than five minutes? We turn our backs for a couple of seconds and then he�s off like a vrelt up a sewer pipe.�

He stopped suddenly and raised a warning hand to his young companion.

�Shhh!� He squinted ahead into the undergrowth. �I think I can hear him.�

�What are you going to do?�

Windu grinned nastily. �I�m going to give him a shock he�ll never forget!� He started to raise his mental shields, stalking his victim like a cannoid with a rat. Soundlessly, his feet almost floated across the broken twigs. He peered through the bushes and saw a flash of beige.

AHA! There he was!

Mace turned round to signal triumphantly to Bai, and stepped suddenly on a twig with an extremely loud snap!

�GOTCHA, YOU UGLY��

The words that Windu heard were accompanied by a whizzing noise and then soon after by the most excruciating pain in his butt, as the harpoon tranquilizer shot buried itself in the target area of the Jedi Master�s rear end. He gave a strangled sound halfway between a cry and a yelp, before the tranquilizer began to take effect.

�Betsy?� Dylain�s voice shouted in confusion as he came upon the still form of Master Windu.

�That�s Master Windy!� The Alderaani kid smiled. �I didn�t know his name was Betsy, though. But I think it kind of suits him.�

History repeats itself, thought Bai, as he stared at the caltrop-shaped device embedded in Windu�s bottom. You were right after all Master Jinn. An-Paj is REALLY going to love this one!

Bai wished more than ever that he had a holographic recording of this�

*******

Disastrous.

That was the only word that Qui-Gon could use to describe the fiasco following their escape from the snake-creature. They�d spent the following thirty minutes trying to round up the initiates who had run away quaking at the sight of the giant reptile. They�d been so convinced that Master Jinn was about to be carved into so many portions of Jedi sirloin, he�d had to let them pinch his arms and body to reassure them that he wasn�t some sort of fearsome phantom. They�d taken refuge in the area behind the freshers that Jay Abran had fled from, but he had insisted that under no circumstances was he going back inside. Those cuddly Banthas left quite a scar�

The Wookie was the first to realize that Master Jinn and the others had somehow pulled off the escape of the millennia, and his joy was so immense that he ran into Kylenn�s not out-stretched arms and flattened her. Great, thought Qui-Gon. If she didn�t have concussion before, she almost certainly will have now. Slowly but surely, Kylenn�s group of initiates were reunited with their padawan. Jemmiah hung back, watching. She kept feeling a sort of�pinching. Or perhaps it was her imagination.

Her hands returned to her ribs. They hurt big time.

�Tired?� Qui-Gon asked.

She nodded. �Please let�s go home. I�m cracking up. Literally.�

�Believe me, Tangles, there�s nothing I would like more. But we have to find Padawan Abran�s group of initiates.�

�That shouldn�t be too hard,� moaned Jemmiah, �Just shout walkies and watch them come to heel.�

Qui-Gon frowned. �Excuse me?�

�You didn�t know?� Jemmiah feigned surprise. �Oh, well. I s�pose he wouldn�t have had the chance.�

�Chance for what?� Qui-Gon demanded.

�To tell you.�

�To tell me what?� He was getting rather irritated.

�About his wondrous party trick with the initiates that went hideously wrong. He mentioned it whilst you were in there trying to prize Kylenn�s little angels out the fresher.�

He folded his arms and gave her his best �tell-me-everything-or-else� Jedi Master look.

As she explained, she watched as the expression on his face changed from stunned surprise, to disbelief, then barely concealed anger. Abran was going to be in for it now!

�Don�t worry, Master Jinn. You�re always saying that all experiences are worthwhile, even the bad ones.�

Qui-Gon blinked. �The next time I start quoting rubbish like that, you have my permission to tell me to shut up.�

�But I�m sure even this little accident will have its benefits.�

�Like?� He groused.

�Well, if you ever need your slippers fetching, all you�ll have to do is whistle and one of the initiates will come running. And they already come toilet trained. Some of them, anyway.� She frowned.

She paused. She could definitely feel someone pinching her on the backside, but when she looked around there was nobody. Am I going mad? she wondered.

Qui-Gon considered his options. They HAD to get those initiates back. They couldn�t return to the temple without them, especially as there were Sith knows what kind of creatures roaming free in the park. Option one consisted of grilling Abran for his incompetence. Option two consisted of doing the same, then searching for the lost group of children.

So did option three.

He turned to Jay Abran and set his teeth sweetly.

�Come here, Padawan.� He said in a honeyed voice.