A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


"How long before Rela gets back?" Jemmiah murmured with her eyes closed, arms still wrapped around her boyfriend's chest. "What time is it anyway?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Obi-Wan smiled.

"This is good isn't it? Just being able to be together like this."

"Hmmm." Obi-Wan agreed. "Although I preferred it when we were a bit more energetic."

"Ben!" Jemmy scolded.

"Don't Ben me. That's a typical female reaction. You spend the night with them, you do all sorts of things you'd rather your master never found out about and then they come over all coy and shy."

Jemmiah frowned and sat up, pulling the bed sheet in front of her. "There, you see! What is the sense in that?" Obi-Wan laughed.

"The sense in what?"

"Trying to cover your modesty! As if it really matters considering the things that we got up to�"

"Ben!" Jemmiah looked genuinely shocked.

"There you go again! It is so hilarious! There's no need to do that. I liked what I saw on closer inspection�"

"How have you got so coarse all of a sudden?" Jemmiah demanded.

"Pent up frustration." Obi-Wan eyed her wolfishly.

"You need a good, long cold shower." Jemmy posed impishly.

"I don't think I can walk to the fresher." Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm worn to a frazzle�"

"You are a disgrace," Jemmiah reprimanded him before tugging on his braid. "But I like it."

"Ow! I wish you wouldn't do that." Obi-Wan whined, rubbing at the base of his skull where the braid connected.

"Next time it won't be your pigtail," Jemmy warned.

"Promises, promises!"

"That does it! Out! Now! Into the shower!"

"You're keen," grinned Obi-Wan. "You want to be my loofah?"

"You know what you can do with your loofah," Jemmy said pointedly.

"Yes, I can�"

"BEN!"

"Okay, okay. I'm going to the fresher room." Obi-Wan stood up to make a sensible retreat. "You know what would have made it even better?" he asked Jemmiah.

"Tell me."

"Breakfast in bed."

Jemmiah threw the pillow after him and Obi-Wan tried to dodge it half-heartedly, taking a few stumbling steps to the side. "Gods, I've no strength," he groaned. "I can hardly walk straight. My master is going to kill me! I have an agility test in four hours time!"

Jemmiah said nothing but made a little disparaging noise with her throat to let him know what she thought his chances were.

"It's not funny!� Obi-Wan's eyes widened ridiculously. "Qui-Gon will demand to know why I'm walking like a crab!"

"Go have that shower." Jemmy suggested. "Maybe you will loosen up a bit. Maybe I'll stop by and�"

"Yes?" Obi-Wan said hopefully.

"Pass you the plasti duck at the side of the bath."

"It doesn't get any better than that," sighed Obi-Wan dramatically as he crawled forward step by agonizing step. Jemmy listened as he made his way to the fresher room, still mumbling as he went. "I've ruptured something." He muttered to his feet. "I just know I have�"

*******

"Ahhhh shudddup!" Rela frowned at the cacophony of noise stemming from the tank of locusts. "What is this, my seven standard alarm call?" Rela sat up for a moment and looked at all the cages.

�I hate you all!� she said dryly then flopped back down.

Rela lounged on Spider�s sofa with one arm thrown over her eyes. All she could think about was that it was going to take her another three weeks to get over her new case of the willies and that Obi and Jemmy owed her big time!

�Morning!� Spider said in a cheerful singsong voice.

�Not you too!� Rela moaned.

�Obviously not a morning person are we?�

Rela just grunted in reply.

�Breakfast time my lovelies!�

�That just killed my appetite for the whole day.� Rela muttered. �They owe me big! HUGE!�

�What do you think they�re up to this morning?� Spider asked wickedly.

�Well if they�re not doing what we think they�re doing, they better be cleaning up my place.�

�Ever the romantic aren�t you Rel? I can�t wait to see what happens when you find the man of your dreams."

�What was that?� Rela quickly asked.

�I asked if you wanted Dinko to eat and you said yes. What is up with you?�

�I don�t know. I just feel as if I�ve forgotten something. I�ve felt like it all night.�

�It can�t be that important otherwise you wouldn�t have forgotten it,� Spider reassured her.

Rela shrugged her shoulders in somewhat agreement. �You�d be surprised at what people can forget.�

�Like what?� Spider dared.

�I�ve got complete weeks blocked from my memory. Hey, my neighbor even forgets her own birthday.�

Spider started to laugh until she noticed that Rela had jerked upright, gone white and was grasping her hair in disbelief. �Rel? What�s up with you. You looked like you just got trapped under a skip again.�

�Sith! My neighbor. Mrs. Krabople. What time is it?�

�Almost eight. Why?�

�SITH! We have to go back to my place!� Rela shouted as she scrambled off the sofa.

Spider started to chuckle nervously. �Um, NO! Obi would kill us and I don�t want to even think of what Jemmy would do if we interrupt them.�

�Spider! If we don�t go back, they are busted, we are busted, and Qui-Gon will know everything!�

�What?!� Spider shouted.

Rela nodded her head vigorously and was now hopping across the room trying to get her boots on. �Yeah! Totally busted! She knows everything that goes on in my building. She also hovers over me like I�m a child. If she sees or hears anything odd, she�ll check it out. She finds S-B and Jemmy instead of me, she�s calling Security who will call Qui-Gon!�

�Sith!� Spider agreed. �Well, you better get going!�

�You�re not coming with me?�

�I�ll give you three guesses and the first two don�t count,� Spider replied.

�Not even to see S-B in the buff?�

�What about Jemmy?�

�She doesn�t have to know that�s the only reason you came along.�

�In that case, let�s go!�

*******

Mrs. Edna Krabople loved information. She owned a security scanner so she could listen to what her neighbors were up to. She started the building watch, was the president and only active member. She knew everyone�s habits and what everyone in the entire building did. Especially her young neighbor Rela Quinn.

The small girl had endeared herself to Mrs. Krabople ever since she was fifteen and had first moved in. She knew the girl had a past, but Edna loved a mystery and it couldn�t get any better than a fifteen year old girl who lived by herself and communicated with Jedi.

It still being quite early in the morning, Mrs. Krabople picked up Tuffy her pet ferret, which Rela affectionately called Tube Rat, and walked out to her balcony.

�Never to early to see who�s up is it Tuffy?� Tuffy didn�t answer, but jerked his head toward the noise coming form next door. �That�s odd Tuffy? She would never be up this early, unless the little thing couldn�t sleep.�

Edna strained to get a good listen to what was happening next door. She started to hear voices and one was definitely male. �I don�t rightly approve of it, but I�m happy to know that she�s got someone in her life now.� she told Tuffy. Tuffy seemed to be more interested in the morning sun sparkling off the windows than anything else.

She soon heard the second voice, definitely female, and definitely not Rela.

�That is it Tuffy! Something is going on over there and I mean to find out what.� Tuffy actually turned and looked at his owner. �I know. You think that I should leave well enough alone, but what if something has happened to that poor girl? I wish she would have given me her door code. Well, it doesn�t matter... I have that emergency universal door code that will open any door. Now let�s go find it!�

Mrs. Krabople walked back inside in search of the code, while Tuffy squeaked in protest at being taken away from his shiny windows.

*******

"I think I'm getting worse." Obi-Wan groaned as the hot water pummeled against his body. He was right about what he had said regarding Qui-Gon killing him.

He definitely would.

What a price to pay for an evening of passion.

Still, it had been worth it, Obi-Wan thought with a gleam in his eye. He wondered how much he would have to bribe Rela with to use her place as their illicit love nest at least once a week. Yes, it would mean almost certain death for him but he considered himself to be rather happy at the prospect. If you were going to go, that was definitely the way to do it�

"How are we doing in there? You got your socks off yet?" Jemmiah called, the distaste audible in her voice even though muffled by the shower.

"Who showers with their socks on?" Kenobi called back sarcastically.

"If you won't take them off to sleep in why should you take them off to clean up?" Jemmy called cheekily.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Do you think if I tell him I'm sick he'd believe me?" Obi-Wan asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd buy that one. It certainly sounds realistic. But then you know what will happen�" Jemmy said in a singsong voice.

"The healers." Obi-Wan closed his eyes.

"Correct."

"Jemmy, I'm dead."

"Not much fun for me then," she stated. "You can't be that tired?"

"I feel like I'm about to fall to pieces."

"Well, save the best bits, huh?"

"You're not taking this seriously. I will fail my test!"

"Just relax."

"How can I?"

"If you calm down I'll give you a neck and shoulder massage"

"That's s'posed to relax me?" Obi-Wan stared through the gauze-like curtain.

Jemmiah just laughed.

"Aren't you going to scrub my back?" he asked impudently, imagining the horrified and outraged delight upon her face.

"No." Jemmy replied, sticking out her tongue even though she didn't think he could see it. "If you want that you're going to have to ask some other crazy female."

"I might just do that." Obi-Wan said airily.

"Pardon?" Jemmy called.

"I said I couldn't do that."

"Well recovered."

Jemmiah listened to the water as it hissed down onto the floor of the shower unit. She had virtually dried herself off, with her hair scooped up into a large bath towel and another one covering her body, tightly tied at the side. "I'll leave you to it." Jemmy called out lazily as she went in search for her clothing.

Obi-Wan grinned an impossibly large grin. His back was giving him a lot of pain for some reason he couldn't quite work out. And as for his poor legs� Nevermind. He would die with a smile on his face.

Sure enough, the shout he had been expecting hailed him some minutes later. "Ben!" Jemmy's exasperated voice drifted through. "I can't find my clothes. Have you seen them?"

"What was that?" Obi-Wan pretended to have gone deaf.

"I said that my clothes are missing. Where in heck have they gone?" Jemmiah began to search everywhere. "How can you lose a dress, for heaven's sake? Have you seen it?"

"What?"

"My dress!" Jemmiah yelled. "I haven't got anything to wear."

"Oh dear," Kenobi smirked. "That is a shame."

Jemmiah listened to the amused tone and became suspicious. "Bennnnnnnnn!" she warned. "What have you done with them?"

"I don't know? What have I done with them? And why should I do anything with them?"

"Because you just want to see me walking around stark naked all the time."

"That would be nice," Obi-Wan sighed wistfully.

"I've got nothing to wear�only this towel."

"You trying to make me drool?" Obi-Wan laughed.

"I've only got that skimpy underwear that you bought me for the cantina crawl."

"Bliss! If you want your clothes you're going to have to come through here and look for them." Obi-Wan ducked his head under the water, trying to block out the rest of Jemmiah's protestations, wincing at his sore back.

"If I freeze to death it will be your fault." Jemmy sat down in her towel scanning the area for any sight of her garments. Where hadn't she looked yet? "Aha!" Jemmiah snapped her fingers triumphantly. "The kitchen."

Obi-Wan grinned as he imagined Jemmy padding through into the kitchen with Rela's slippers on in search of her dress. She wouldn't find it of course. Only he knew where it was. Feeling pretty good about himself all of a sudden, he turned up the shower full blast, and then screeched when it became too hot.

"Oh, great. Now I've burned myself." Obi-Wan grimaced. "Maybe Rela's got something in her medi cabinet that I can get Jemmy to rub on."

He turned the shower right off and slipped on the bath mat, cracking his head slightly on the wall. "Hell!" he cursed; putting a worried hand up to his scalp to make sure his brains hadn't began to leak out. Stepping carefully, if dizzily out of the unit, Obi-Wan began to look for a towel.

There wasn't one.

Jemmiah had used both of the big towels leaving him with only a face flannel. And that wasn't much good. His words floated back to him. "As if it really matters considering the things that we got up to�"

What did it matter?

Obi-Wan decided that if Jemmiah complained about his lack of suitable coverings then it was entirely her fault. Just like it was his fault for hiding her dress in the bread bin. He managed to locate his discarded socks and pulled them up, wondering if perhaps he should maybe have changed them a couple of days ago like his master had suggested, but then decided to go in search of something to cover his lower half.

"It's a real pity you didn't scrub my back." Obi-Wan called out to Jemmiah. "You would have enjoyed it. We have to learn to make the most of the little time we have together. Even if some of us are beginning to get clapped out and worn away. And as for your lack of clothing, I'm sure I'll never see anything more ravishing in a black bra and�"

Obi-Wan turned the corer into the living area and was met by a terrified scream.

"Holy mother of asteroids!" yelled Kenobi, jumping back, grabbing a cushion from the nearby sofa to cover himself up with.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" screamed the lady as she pointed at him. "Intruder! Ravisher! Indecent assault! Help! Help!"

The woman passed out with fright, hitting the floor with a colossal thud.

Jemmy came running from the kitchen and looked from one to the other, both pale and bloodless. Both beyond speech. "Indecent assault?" Jemmiah laughed as she regarded the figure on the ground. "You must be getting desperate!"

"S'not funny." Obi-Wan managed to mumble a Jemmiah took a hysterical attack of laughter at the idea of Ben and this�thing together. "Ben, you told her she'd look ravishing in a black bra."

"OH, SITH!" Obi-Wan raised his hands to his face, letting the cushion drop away to the floor.

Rela and Spider suddenly bounded through the doorway. "Too late!" groaned Rela.

Spider watched as a ferret type creature made it's way across the floor towards Rela's windows, completely oblivious to the drama its owner was so very much the center of. Spider eyed Obi-Wan with the practised eye of a mantis. "You speak for yourself!"

Rela sighed. "Mrs. Krabople: meet Obi-Wan Kenobi." The redhead pointed at the flustered padawan.

Jemmiah quickly unraveled the damp towel from her hair and with one deft move tossed it under arm to Obi-Wan. The padawan snatched it in mid air with the aid of the force and covered his lower area so fast that Spider thought it was a case of blinking and missing something.

"Spoil sport," Spider pouted.

v "Forget whatever you think you saw," Obi-Wan groaned.

"Forget?" Spider's eyebrows disappeared incredulously. "How am I s'posed to do that?" she looked down at the senseless figure on the ground. "How is SHE s'posed to forget either?"

"Oh, please," Obi-Wan begged, "this is embarrassing enough as it is."

"I don't think you've got anything to worry about!" Spider remarked with evident satisfaction. "Had a good evening, Jemmy?"

"Fine thank you," Jemmiah said bluntly. "It would have been even better if a circus act hadn't barged in on us just when we were�"

"Yeah?" Rela grinned.

"�getting dressed." Jemmy finished.

"Oh." Spider looked disappointed.

Jemmy stared long and hard at the unconscious Mrs. Krabople with displeasure. "What do we do with this one?" she asked Rela. "This is your neighbor, right?"

"The one and only," Rela said sourly. "She means well but she can be a bit much, if you know what I mean."

"Really. I'd never have guessed." The dry remark hissed its way between Jemmiah's teeth. "I think we'd better work out what the heck we are going to say when she wakes up."

"I think we'd better start off with S-B getting into some clothes." Rela folded her arms. "Just look at you! You're dripping water all over my carpet." Obi-Wan prayed she wouldn't spot the mark on the floor� "Oh, go put your pants on."

"Awwwwwww." Spider whimpered. "Not fair!"

"Watch it, treacle. Unless you want another piercing with one of Rela's bread knives," Jemmiah growled.

When Obi-Wan retreated, at least pretending to look meek and chastened, the three girls were alerted to a small moaning sound on the floor. Sure enough, Mrs. Krabople was beginning to come round. "Perhaps if we got some water�" Jemmy mused.

"Er�yeah. Good idea. Spider, go get a glass of water, huh?" Rela pointed to the kitchen. "There's a tumbler on the right by the sink.

"What then?" Spider asked over her shoulder as she went to fetch the poor lady a glass. "I think she'll be demanding whisky in this!"

Another groan came from the woman, her eyes not yet opened but her head shaking from side to side as if in denial of the image that had been before her not so long ago. "Why was she here?" Jemmy asked, puzzled.

"Lonnnnnnng story." Rela muttered. "She tries to baby me. Likes to look out for me, you know? Can get a bit embarrassing at times, I can tell you."

"I can imagine." Jemmy smiled. "But she's been married, hasn't she? Surely the - rather wonderful- sight of Ben with no clothes isn't going to shock her?"

"You don't understand. This woman is a walking surveillance unit. She sees, hears and knows everything that goes on here. The moment she thought she heard anything out of the ordinary she'd be round here like a Hutt at a slave girl auction�"

Jemmy's face twitched slightly.

"Oh. Sorry." Rela said. "Look, maybe that's an idea. She's an okay person once you get to know her. A bit of a softy really, if you look deep enough. If we play to her maternal feelings then we might just get away with a ticking off and no horrified reports of midnight romps getting back to the temple."

"What do you mean?" Jemmy frowned.

"Tell her your life story. Tell them you were a slave and that you�"

"NO!" Jemmiah looked shocked.

"She won't mind. She'll look up to you."

"I can't do it!" Jemmy's face had gone all red with the indignity.

"Then lie! Make something up! Stretch the truth! But do it quick and make it VERY good because she's beginning to come to."

Spider walked back into the room armed with her tumbler of water. "Here." She held out the glass.

Jemmiah took it from her, looked at the writhing woman and then the glass before pouring it onto her upturned face. Mrs. Krabople suddenly sprung to life. "Pppphwhwhhhwh," she spat as the water ran from her lips.

"Sorry? Didn't catch that." Jemmiah crouched down next to the woman, pulling her towel up lest there be any repeats of what had happened with Ben.

Edna Krabople blinked the liquid from her eyes and then shakily looked from Rela, to Jemmy and then back once more. "I remember�," she said as if in a complete dream, "someone�with no clothing! An intruder!" She grabbed Rela's hand in a vice like grasp. "You have to call security! There's a pervert running about your place with no clothes on�getting up to who knows what!"

"I have a faint idea what." Rela looked at Jemmy from the side of her eye. "That was just Scrub�Obi-Wan. Don't pay him any attention. I knew he was here. I said he could use the fresher."

"Y-yyyou knew?" Mrs. Krabople put a shaky hand over her eyes and regarded the towel clad Jemmiah for a moment. "And who are you?"

The Corellian girl cleared her throat. "I'm Jemmiah. Don't pay me any attention either," she grinned.

That got Mrs. Krabople's attention. "Oh, yes?" Edna asked. "Why are you being so secretive?"

"Nothing. No reason," Jemmy replied lightly. "She said I could use the fresher too."

"At the same time? What shower do you think I came down with?" she wiped the wetness off her face. "There's something going on here young lady," she addressed Rela, "and I demand to be told what it is! And what's more, I'm not leaving until you do tell me!"

Rela sighed dramatically, trying to think of melodramatic holo thrillers as her inspiration. "Okay. I see there's no pulling the wool over your eyes Mrs. K." Rela leaned forwards. "But I hope you don't mind a real sad story."

"Tell me anyway." Edna huddled towards Rela.

"Well," Rela looked at Jemmy, "my friend here lives at the Jedi Temple. She's been raised by the Jedi for six years now because she was orphaned at an early age."

"Really?" Mrs. Krabople clucked, looking at a rather contrite and suitably downcast Jemmiah. "You poor thing."

"But she's fallen head over heels for one of the padawans in the temple and him for her. But the course of true love never did run smoothly�"

"What? What?" Edna breathed.

"The padawan's master won't allow them to meet because he feels she's distracting his apprentice. And so he's�put a ban on their seeing each other!" blurted out Rela.

"You don't say!" Edna breathed, looking like she wanted to hug Jemmiah. "That's terrible. And I always thought the Jedi were so stuffy and devoid of feelings�it's good to see that I was wrong. Even if I don't approve of all this nakedness and cavorting round other people's houses." She narrowed her eyes as Jemmy fidgeted nervously with her towel.

"They're very much in love." Rela nodded. "But the master is adamant."

"That's such a shame."

"So I thought I'd do them a favor and let them meet round here."

Mrs. Krabople looked pityingly at Jemmiah. "You poor girl! And an orphan as well�it's terrible. It's a good thing you have friends like Rela to look out for you." She suddenly caught a glimpse of the tattoo on Spiders arm and looked somewhat distracted by it.

"Yeah." Jemmy agreed. "Where would I be without people like Rela?"

Rela stared at her.

"You know," Mrs. Krabople was now in full swing, "you should bring your friends round more often. It would do them good to get away from the temple. And I could even cook something for them if you�"

"That's really kind of you Mrs. K, but I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble�"

"Nonsense. It would be no trouble. Your friend could do with some nurturing, I would say." Nurturing? Jemmiah's jaw went slack.

[i]//Uh-oh,//[/i] Rela shook her head, [i]//Jemmy's been adopted!//[/i]

"T-thanks," stammered Jemmiah, looking anything other than grateful.

"Think nothing of it. Now, what about this young man of yours, hmmm?"

"Sorry about that," Jemmy laughed girlishly.

"I'm a woman of the world. I've seen it all before. But you understand that one doesn't expect to be invited to scrub someone's back when they've not even been properly introduced. It would even unnerve my poor darling Tuffy�.

"TUFFY!" She sat up. �Tuffy! Where�s my Tuffy?� Mrs. Krabople screamed.

�He�s around here somewhere. Don�t worry Mrs. Krabople, we�ll find him,� Rela reassured her.

�He could be hurt or lost!�

Rela resisted rolling her eyes and ended up closing them instead. �He�s fine! I�m sure he�s just looking for something shiny!� Rela stressed.

Before Mrs. Krabople could start wailing again, Rela got down on the floor and started crawling around. �Where are you Tube Rat?� Rela muttered.

�Rela!�

�I swear he likes being called that! Um... Can I get some help here?�

�All I�m wearing is a towel!� Jemmy protested.

�Then go get dressed!�

�I can�t find my dress! Ben hid it!�

[i]//Could today get any worse?//[/i] Rela thought to herself.

�Kenobi?!� Rela yelled out.

�Bread bin!� he quickly answered knowing that Rela only called him Kenobi when she was angry.

Jemmiah quickly left to get her dress. As she went into the bedroom to change she was met by a still red-faced, but fully dressed minus his boots, Obi-Wan coming out. Rela continued to crawl around looking under the furniture for the long gray rodent.

*******

He was free! Free to find shiny things! Free to find wiggly things! Free! He began to bounce and poing around until he reached the outside room. Lot�s of shiny things, and glittery things, and moving things. What was that? Voices? His owner lady was saying something.

Ooo! Look! A big shiny ball!

�Where are you Tube Rat?�

Ooo! The red lady was looking for him! He started to poing back inside. What was that? Something wiggly! Right inside! Close to the red lady and owner lady.

Tuffy started to skitter across the floor and pounced on the wiggly thing.

*******

Obi-Wan had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. Knowing Rela and Jemmy they would never let him forget it either. He had decided it best if he just stayed close to the sofa and out of the way. He wished he could have put his boots on, but they were out here and he would attract attention if he went to get them know.

Nervously he began to fidget his toes. Rela did look pretty funny crawling around on her floor. Although he hoped he wouldn�t find that spot on the carpet.

�What the hell happened to my carpet?� she suddenly yelled while giving him an evil look.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to explain, then... �YEEEEEEOOOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!�

�Tube Rat!� Rela shouted happily.

Tuffy had now been found. Firmly attached to Obi-Wan�s big toe.

After several minutes, Rela finally persuaded Tuffy off of Obi-Wan�s toe. It went a lot easier once Rela caught her breath from laughing. Once the rodent was loose he began to squeak at Rela. �I�m sorry Tube Rat, but S-B has other things to do today. You really needed to get off.�

Tuffy continued to squeak.

�Actually I�m surprised you didn�t asphyxiate on his socks. You�d think he�d get a clue and change them.�

�Hey!� Obi-Wan shouted, hurt. Rela just shrugged her shoulders as Tuffy continued his tirade. �I know Tube Rat.�

�Squeak, squeak?�

�I don�t know why she does it. I don�t like it either.�

�Squeak, squeak!�

�I totally agree. None of this would have happened if you would have just stayed at home.�

�Squeak.�

�I�ll get you something shiny. I promise.�

Rela looked up and noticed that everyone was staring at her. �What?�

�You�re talking to a ferret,� Spider told her.

�So. You talk to all those creepy crawlies. I talk to tube rats.�

�You are so weird,� Obi-Wan told her.

�And you just figured that out. I�m really disappointed in you S-B. I�m going to have to say something about your Jedi training.�

"Nevermind that, what about my poor toe?" Obi-Wan griped.

"Get Jemmy to kiss it better," Spider grinned.



"What about MY poor carpet?" demanded Rela. "My carpet with a new stain on it." Rela's hawk like eyes went back to the mark made by last evenings Takkini sauce.

Jemmy walked back in to the room and shook her head. "That's not a stain," she drawled.

"What is it then?"

"It's a hole."

"A WHAT?" Rela's hands flew to her hips. "Just what were you guys up to last night?"

"Ask the last of the red hot sausage eaters over there," Jemmy grimaced.

All eyes turned to Obi-Wan. "Look, you can shove a rug over it. You'll never know it was there."

"Typical man! If it ain't broke: break it. If it's already broke: shove a rug over it and nobody will ever know!" Her eyes flared dangerously dark. "And I hope you've left everything else in here as you would expect to find it." Rela scolded, marching through to her bedroom like an annoyed Ronto whilst Mrs. Krabople looked on in amazement.

"Maybe we should go." Obi-Wan suggested as he looked for his footwear.

Jemmy's eyes widened. "Perhaps we'd better," she nodded, stuffing a few more personal belongings into her handbag and then heading for the door.

There was a loud screech from the bedroom. "Who's been eating doughnuts?!?" she yelled. "There're crumbs everywhere!"

Spider remembered the trip to the Strip show and smiled. "How many do you think they got through?" she laughed.

"Knowing Kenobi the whole galaxy's supply of doughnuts have gone," Rela growled as she surveyed her bedroom.

"That's what I thought," Spider smirked.

"Not by the time I've set Tuffy on him. It's a good thing he's not still in the buff, Otherwise Tuffy would've had more than his toe as a teething ring!"

*******

"Great," Jemmiah griped, "just great. I've been adopted by Rela's mad neighbor from hell. In fact we've both been welcomed into the Krabople fold. Just what we need."

Obi-Wan didn't see what all the fuss was about. All he was worrying over now was this agility test that his master was going to hammer him with. And he could barely walk without feeling some new ache or twinge. At first he thought Qui-Gon might not notice but then he put that down to the stuff of dreams. Those sort of things didn't happen in real life.

Qui-Gon WOULD know.

"Jemmy, I don't want to die." He played with his braid and made sad puppy eyes at his girlfriend. "There's so much I want to do. Like travel and see the galaxy. Pass my trials and become a well-respected Jedi Knight. Maybe a master someday. And I wouldn't mind doing a little more of what we were up to last night. But all that is going to come to a premature end when Qui-Gon murders me."

They walked silently through the Jedi temple each thinking about their different destinations. Jemmiah wondered if Evla would be surprised that she was back so early in the morning and quiz her a little on what she'd been doing last night. Obi-Wan wondered how long it would take Qui-Gon to work out that he'd been doing something other than sleeping on Rela's couch�

"You won't get murdered by Qui-Gon. Trust me, that's just not your style." Jemmiah pinched his cheek playfully.

"Far too obvious."

"And what is my style?" Obi-Wan asked good humoredly.

"I dunno�.knowing you I wouldn't put it past you to go out in a puff of smoke or something silly like that. Something a bit flashy." Jemmy grinned.

"Oh, I'll try and remember that when the moment comes." Obi-Wan felt Jemmy's smile become infectious, inspite of his predicament. "Not to self, must have puff of smoke for Jemmiah."

"It's not like I'll be there to see it." Jemmy shrugged.

Obi-Wan smile disappeared completely like the sun behind a large cloud. "There you go again! Will you stop being so morbid?"

"You were the first person to mention death."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes, you were. You said Qui-Gon was going to murder you."

Kenobi remembered and closed his eyes in horror. "And he will!"

"Look, you'll just have to be a bit devious." Jemmy tucked away the strand of hair that was forever falling into her eyes.

"How?"

"Why don't you try lying?" Jemmiah asked. "Have you considered that?"

"But Qui-Gon always knows when I lie!" Obi-Wan replied.

"Then you need to start practicing. Now's your big chance." Jemmiah slipped her arm round his waist. "The reward is too great."

"What reward?" Obi-Wan queried.

"Me."

The padawan's smile began to creep back onto his handsome face and Jemmiah watched with satisfaction as her words began to sink in. "Hmmm. I wonder if Rela will let us back round at her place." Obi-Wan mumbled. "I mean, we did leave it in a bit of a state. She certainly sounded annoyed when we left her."

"That was you and those doughnuts." Jemmiah gave him a squeeze that made him flinch with discomfort. "Not to mention the hole you left in her carpet."

"She'll get over it," Obi-Wan dismissed it.

"You don't know Rela as well as you think, if that's what you believe." retorted Jemmiah. "She'll pretend she'd forgiven you and everything will be going along swimmingly and then BAM! You'll be walking around minus your teeth. If you're lucky."

"Rela will NEVER get the better of me." Obi-Wan said scathingly. "Anyhow, now that her neighbor thinks we are Coruscant's answer to Rex Victory and Hayli Perston we shouldn't have any problems�providing nobody finds out that we don't want to."

He tried to straighten his back and a sharp pain jolted up his spine. "Sith! That is really sore! And my master will send me to An-Paj to be checked over for sure�"

"Ben, everything will turn out just fine. Trust me," Jemmiah soothed.

Obi-Wan sighed. "When a Corellian says that it usually means it's time to hide under the bed."

*******

Jemmy and Obi-Wan parted company just outside the door to Evla's apartment with a long and lingering kiss that caused three knights who were passing by at that moment to raise their eyebrows questioningly. Obi-Wan knew it was a foolish thing to do, especially if he didn't want to draw any attention to himself. Everyone seemed to know that he and Jemmiah were seeing each other. They also seemed to know about the edict that Qui-Gon had placed on the couple.

No, this wasn't a smart thing to do in public�

"I think I'd better go before this starts to get awkward." Obi-Wan pulled away. "I'll see you later, if my master hasn't disembowelled me."

"You will be fine, Ben," Jemmy repeated. "Just reach out with that force thing of yours and�"

"Lie through my teeth," hazarded Obi-Wan.

"You've got it in one!" Jemmy kissed him again. "Remember. Play it cool and you'll win through this, okay?"

The padawan nodded, his mouth feeling very dry.

"Good luck." She gave his hand a quick press and then keyed in her door codes, Obi-Wan watching as the door slid back to let her in.

And then she was gone from sight.

Obi-Wan felt rather lost suddenly. He'd spent an enjoyable (if exhausting) evening and morning. Now he was alone, walking into the Rancor's den to face the music. A lot was going to depend on how he handled things now but one thing was certain: he couldn't afford to mess up.

Jemmiah was right. There was too much at stake.

Sadly, and somewhat uncomfortably, Obi-Wan made the journey back home. He could only pray that Qui-Gon was in a good mood�

*******

"What are you doing back so early?" Evla asked as she wandered into the living area. "I thought you'd be most of the day at Rela's�" she studied Jemmiah's face with the well practised skill of one used to dealing with small children, searching for some sign of guilt or unhappiness, "�unless you've had a falling out?"

Jemmiah shook her head and walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"What's happened then?" Evla frowned.

"Nothing." Jemmy's answer was vague. "Really, nothing. Spider had something to do and Rela had to entertain her neighbor's ferret so I thought I'd just come back here."

"Pardon?" Evla asked.

"Long story. What about you?" Jemmy looked her guardian up and down, noting that something was wrong. Then she remembered what day of the week it was. "Don't you have a double shift at the cr�che today?"

"Well, that's the funny thing." Evla pulled her dressing gown round her and sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast table. "I got a message left for me which I read this morning."

"Who sent it?" Jemmy asked as she spread some treacle on a thick slice of Alderaani dough bread.

Evla tapped her fingers repeatedly on the surface, trying to make sense of things. "It was from Depa Billaba."

"Oh? What did she want?" Jemmy asked, licking the treacle off one finger.

"She said," Evla wrinkled her brows, "My application for some time off had been granted and that I didn't have to bother with the cr�che today as they had decided that someone else could fill in for me."

"That's good," Jemmy said between mouthfuls. "Isn't it?"

"I never applied for any leave." Evla replied. "And I've only just come back from Florizan! Why would anyone even consider�and then there's the small matter of my replacement."

"Who?" Jemmiah licked the treacle of her lips.

"Would you believe it if I said Master Berlingside?" Evla deadpanned.

Jemmiah blinked. "Not really," the Corellian answered. "Why would Dex want to work with kids?"

"In Dex's case, I really couldn't say."

"There's something going on here." Jemmy pondered thoughtfully. "And I intend to discover what it is."

Evla watched as the girl wolfed down her food. "You'll get indigestion if you eat like that," she warned. "Didn't you get any food at Rela's?"

"I didn't even get as far as the bread bin," Jemmy drawled. "I'm going to see if I can't find out what this big mystery with Dex is. Enjoy your time off." Jemmy waved lazily.

"You've only just got in!" Evla said in amazement. "Oh, and there was a message for you as well. Don't you want to look at it before you go?"

Jemmy groaned. �It's probably from my uncle asking when I want to go back to Corellia. Gods, please don't let it be him. Or that gushing, uncapped well of sugariness he's married to�"

"Show some respect." Evla commanded sharply. "They are your only relatives."

"I am aware of that." Jemmy mumbled under her breath as she made her way to the holotransmitter.

She wondered who on Coruscant would be calling her at this time in the morning. She'd just left Rela and Spider so it was neither of them. Flint didn't like using the holotransmitter so it wouldn't be her. Perhaps it was from Klive at the Hell's Chance asking if she could work a late shift in the evening�

It wasn't Klive's face that greeted her but that of an unknown girl maybe a few years older than herself, wearing a rather striking if familiar dress.

"I have a message for a Ms Jemmiah Gleshan. My name's Tabby. I was wondering if you were still interested in that job your boyfriend asked about. We have a couple of vacancies in our workforce at the moment, so if you are wanting to discuss pay then give Madam Ying a call back on Coruscant 33-268-555-00-71-975. Thanks for your time and hope to hear from you soon."

Jemmiah was so astounded that she literally had to lower herself into a nearby seat, Evla looking on in concern.

"Jemmiah, what is it? What's wrong sweetheart?" Evla became alarmed as she saw the blood drain from Jemmiah's face. "Are you feeling unwell? Do you want me to call the healers?"

With considerable effort Jemmiah got her mouth to open, but no sound came out.

"Would you like some water?" Evla asked.

"I don't believe it�" Jemmy managed to squeak. "�Obi-Wan!"

"What about Obi-Wan?" Evla persisted.

"�Got me a job�IN A BROTHEL!" It came out in a wail.

"Surely not. There must be some kind of a mistake." Evla tried to calm her. "He would never do something like that. He'd know the pain it would cause."

"It's there on the holo." Jemmy pointed at in an utter daze.

Evla walked over to the holotransmitter and played back the message, this time paying careful attention to what was being said. As soon as the words 'Madam Ying' were issued Evla found that she too was staring, slack-jawed, at the screen. "You were right." Evla said in disbelief.

There was a five-second pause.

"I'll kill him," Jemmy stated.

*******

Obi-Wan let himself into the apartment he shared with his master, expected to be immediately assaulted with questions about how the 'girls evening' had gone, followed by a brief grilling and swift and violent execution when he managed to pick up on the truth.

Instead he found nothing.

"M-master?" he called. "Are you there?"

"Padawan?" a muffled voice replied from the direction of Qui-Gon's bedroom. "Is that you?"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan found that his throat was becoming more and more parched as time went on.

"Good." Qui-Gon seemed to consider something before shouting, "Could you come through here for a moment?" Obi-Wan frowned. "Certainly, Master. What's the matter?"

"I need to�er�just come through would you, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan found himself creeping through as if some hidden creature or being was waiting to jump out on him. //He knows, he already knows!//

His shaking hand went to Qui-Gon's door and carefully he eased it open, holding his breath for fear of being subjected to his master's considerable wrath. Qui-Gon was lying on his bed, a pained expression clouding the usually unreadable face.

"Master?" Obi-Wan stiffly managed to teeter over to the bed. "What is it?"

"Thank the stars you got back so early." Qui-Gon mumbled. "I was beginning to wonder if I would have to spend the entire day on the bed."

"Sorry, Master. You've lost me."

"I've put my back out doing something�well, just something," Qui-Gon clamed up.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but titter. "Is Leona still here, Master?" he asked insinuatingly.

"No she's�" Qui-Gon stared at the haggard yet impudent expression before him. "Don't just stand there, snickering. Help me up. Carefully."

"But why didn't you try to alert An-Paj?"

"I thought you of all people would have understood that one doesn't go to the infirmary unless one has to, and even then it's on pain of death." Qui-Gon hissed as Obi-Wan tried to pull him up by grasping his shoulders. "Please be very careful�"

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan began to lever him up, gently as he could at first�only to cry out and step away with a hand firmly planted on his own back.

"What's the matter?" Qui-Gon asked, his eyes clouded with pain.

Obi-Wan gulped. "I know this is a bit of a coincidence master, but I've rather hurt my own back." He confessed.

"How?" Qui-Gon took in the figure of his padawan as he winced slightly.

"Rela's sofa was rather uncomfortable. I had a very bad nights sleep. I was tossing and turning all the time. My back is rather sore as a result."

Qui-Gon seemed to study him for a moment. "Looks like we'll both have to help each other," muttered the master. "Give it one more go, Padawan. You grab me by the wrists and see if you can pull me up with the force�after three. One�two�THREE!"

Obi-Wan was surprised at the amount of force leverage he managed to apply, nearly sending the crippled Qui-Gon staggering across the room. "Padawan!" he gasped, immediately putting a hand to the small of his back.

"Sorry, Master," Obi-Wan said contritely, his own abused body feeling very much worse for ware. He managed to continue with his crab walk, looking on as his master did a hunched over version of the same.

"We'll be fine in a moment, Padawan." Qui-Gon tried to reassure the young man.

"Yes, Master," Kenobi groaned.

"And then we can both look forward to your agility test�" Jinn let his eyes close in defeat. "Who are we kidding? We can hardly walk to the living area let alone think about your exam."

"You mean postpone the test, Master?" Obi-Wan's hopes soared.

"Unless you want to be graded on your impression of a crustacean with a severe limp, yes," Jinn managed to chuckle.

Obi-Wan smiled ruefully. "You've got a message on the holoterminal," the padawan noticed the small red indicator that denoted a new message. "Shall I do the honors or shall I leave it for when you've given up limbo dancing?"

"See to it would you, Padawan," Qui-Gon sighed.

Somehow, he didn't quite know how, Obi-Wan crept towards the terminal with all the agility and grace of a Hutt that had swallowed its bodyweight in frogs. He left Qui-Gon propped up against the wall and made a lunge for the control.

"Qui-Gon." Depa Billaba's face was sharp and clear, as were her words, "I think you should know that a certain incident in the gardens was brought to the attention of Yoda last evening. It seems Master Quillan has grounds for complaint against yourself, Master Windu and Master Berlingside. Something about sabotage and a burst water pipe?"

Her eyes sparkled with unspoken mischief. "To save this from going officially before the council, which as you can understand Master Berlingside wasn't top keen on, Yoda suggested that you all atone for your errors in some way. Mace is spending the day away from the strife and care of the council by assisting Quillan in the gardens. Seems there's some leaves that the man wants raking�"

The mouth opened in a grin. "Dex is helping with the cr�che kids instead of Master Sovalla. Quillan suggested that seeing he was acting like a big baby he might want to spend some time amongst those of his mental age."

The lips thinned into a serious line. She meant business. "And as for yourself, Yoda was all set to find you something very special but Dex pointed out that you had a bad back so you couldn't possibly do anything."

//Good old Dex// Qui-Gon thought gleefully.

"So Yoda wanted to make sure you were alright and has booked you in to see An-Paj this afternoon. I'm sure the words acupuncture were used, but Yoda could have been pulling your leg."

The mirth lit up her face again. "Maybe," she said.

The transmission ended.

//I'm going to strangle him// Qui-Gon grimaced.

*******

Jemmiah's feelings swayed somewhere between hurt and anger, the invisible emotional pendulum swinging backwards and forwards at irregular intervals causing her to experience pain and outrage in rapid succession. And above all the question she wanted the answer to the most:

Why?

Why would Ben do such a horrible thing? She kept telling herself that there must be some mistake, that he would never purposefully taunt her with such memories of her past�the same way that Kryztan had. One thing was for sure; Ben was nothing like Kryztan.

Yet there it was for all to see and hear.

Whilst the cool, rational part of her told her to find her boyfriend and seek an explanation (if he could come up with one) the wounded, angry side began to flare dangerously. She didn't trust herself not to go in there and do him some permanent damage. No, she had to keep away until she calmed down.

If she ever did.

Whatever his explanation, this really, really hurt.

Her memories of Nargotria never seemed to fade and she didn't expect them to either, but they had been less prominent in her mind up until the cantina crawl and Kryztan's little rant outside the Hell's Chance. Whilst she hadn't wanted to see Ben hurt she was touched at the way he had defended her when for one of the few times in her life she had felt genuinely defenseless. That was why this whole brothel thing riled her so much. Why go to all that trouble to stick up for her like that and then turn round and do this� it made no sense.

"Speak to Obi-Wan," Evla said.

"Not yet," Jemmiah said distantly. "I can't."

"The longer you leave it the more awkward it's going to become."

"I know," Jemmy nodded.

Evla sighed and decided to give the girl some time alone with her thoughts, retreating to her bedroom to do some reading. Jemmy waited for another five minutes until the anger she knew would dissipate had done just that. Now only the hurt remained�and the sudden desire for revenge.

She sat by the holoterminal again, not daring to replay the dreaded message incase her fury started to spike once more, taking big, calming breaths before keying in the connection to a person she had come to regard as one of the few friends she had outside the temple. Her patience paid off when a familiar, wild haired figure answered her call some minutes later.

"Oh, it's the runaway." The figure crossed its arms. "Trashed any more apartments recently or is it just something you've got against me?"

"Rela." Jemmy faltered slightly, trying to choose her words. "Are you free to talk?"

"What's this if we aren't talking?" the red head stared back. "Hey, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I need your help," Jemmy replied.

"Hell, Qui-Gon hasn't found out has he?"

"No�no, I don't think so. Could you come round at some point? I need to talk."

"I dunno. I've got a home that looks like a Huttese orgy's taken place in it." Rela squinted at her transmitter. "You're really worked up about something."

"Please, if you're free�"

"Sure. I'll have to eject Mrs. K out the front door. She rarely gets the chance to come in and now she is inside it's going to take the devil's minions and a barrel load of explosives to shift her."

Jemmy didn't smile.

"I'll be round as soon as I can," Rela nodded.