A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


"This really isn't necessary." Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed to little slits of pain as Simeon pushed the beleaguered Jedi along in a more conventional form of chair. The wheels caught the side of the ramp into the next corridor and slipped, sending a spiral of searing fire up Qui-Gon's back.

"Unless you want your next words to be your last, I'd choose them very carefully." Qui-Gon warned the black haired padawan.

"My, somebody's a grumpy old master this morning." Cates said cheerfully.

"Less of the old!" Qui-Gon frowned, as the wheels squeaked all the way down the corridor. "I'll tell your master about your disrespect and he'll�"

"Laugh," nodded Simeon.

Jinn glared.

"I'm sorry about the wheelchair." Simeon indicated the form of transport that was so annoying Qui-Gon. "But all our repulsar lifters are in use. Apart from the three that Dimallie managed to short-circuit somehow. Oh, well."

Simeon whistled an airy tune, which echoed round the white, brightly lit walls. Between that and the infernal squeal of the chair Qui-Gon felt he might lose his mind before anyone got to work on his back. "So how did you do this, Master Jinn?" Cates inquired.

"Mind your own business," Qui-Gon mumbled.

"Only, Leona seemed fine to me when she came in."

"When you come in here suffering the torments of hell you don't expect the equivalent of the Malastarian inquisition�hold on, what did you say?" Jinn blinked.

"I said that Healer Leona was here. She'll be able to examine your back," Cates tried to cover up his mistake. The thought of Leona rubbing his back actually lightened Qui-Gon's spirits considerably. If only that damned wheel would stop making eeek! noises. "Do you have to whistle?" Qui-Gon asked.

"I know, I know. It's annoying and I apologize. It's just that my master expects me to go round with an expression you might see on an undertaker. Keeps telling me to be miserable but I just can't do it. I'm one of life's cheerful individuals." He thought briefly about what he'd said. "Although it is mighty difficult to remain cheerful when you're up to your arm pits in fresher cleansing fluid. Not the most rewarding of tasks�and somebody had well and truly blocked one of the units, if you see what I'm getting at."

"Yes, thank you Simeon."

"It took forever to get rid of the blockage."

"Did it really," Qui-Gon closed his eyes.

"I had to use this pole�"

"Thank you!" Qui-Gon snapped. "I'm not terribly interested in lavatorial inquests."

"Master Jinn, I think you need to relax a bit more," Simeon smiled.

Before Qui-Gon could tell him exactly what the cause of his climbing blood pressure was, a pair of double doors slid back to reveal a row of examination cubicles. Simeon rather carelessly steered the chair into the one furthest away, making sure that he gave Qui-Gon as many bumps and jolts along the way. Or so it seemed to the master.

"Why did you have to choose this one? Why go to all the trouble of pushing me along this far when there was a perfectly good one nearer to us when we came in?" Qui-Gon grumbled.

"I'm pushing you to this one because An-Paj has learned his lesson with Jemmiah and feels that there's less chance of you sneaking around if you're further away from the doors," Simeon replied honestly.

"So much for trust," Jinn growled.

"He does trust you. He trusts you to escape at the first opportunity. That's why you are going here, sir."

Simeon wheeled the chair over to the bed and pressed the button that started to lower it down to the required level. When Qui-Gon attempted to lever himself out of the chair, Simeon raised a commanding hand and halted him.

"I can do this myself," Qui-Gon said defensively.

"Okay." Simeon smiled indulgently. "If you want to then I won't stop you, Master Jinn."

Qui-Gon nodded at the deference and tried to push himself up by his arms. It took every effort not to scream. "Oh, dear." Simeon said in a singsong voice. "Looks like it's down to little me then, doesn't it?"

"Simeon," Qui-Gon said levelly, not looking the young man in the eye, "I know this isn't really very Jedi-like but I may be forced to kill you. You do understand?"

"Of course," Simeon beamed. "You're not well and as a result you are being a cantankerous old misery. It's perfectly normal. I've never yet met a patient who's actually wanted to be in here. They are all horrible. And the worst of all offenders are the padawans, usually because they've got much better things they can be getting up to, if you see what I mean�talking of which, how's Obi-Wan?"

Qui-Gon wasn't quite sure he liked the leap in logic of Simeon's last statement, or the sly wink he had been subjected to. "As you well know, my padawan has also been ordered to see the healers," Jinn said firmly.

"By whom?"

"Me. He's managed to do something to his own back. He says his legs are a bit sore too." Simeon snickered. "So," continued Qui-Gon, "I said the sooner he was examined the sooner he'd be able to sit his agility test."

"I'm sure that cheered him up no end, sir."

"Put it this way, I didn't give him much choice. If I have to suffer I'm not going to be the only one. As he could walk under his own steam I told him to make his own way here."

"You think he will?" Simeon asked wondrously. "You know what he's like about this place."

"Yes," nodded Qui-Gon. "He's never really liked it. I think the crowning moment was when you and Rela drew smiley faces on his buttocks."

"Now THAT was funny," Simeon grinned.

"As for him not wanting to come here, I gave him an ultimatum. He wants to take Jemmiah to see some music festival next week and I told him that if he didn't get his back seen to there was no way I could even think about letting him stand around all day listening to Jizz."

"Your compassion is laudable, Master Jinn," Simeon agreed.

"I thought so." Qui-Gon managed a tight smile.

Simeon waited until he found the right level for the bed and depressed the button, letting it halt. "Although you don't have to splash out in order to impress the girls." Simeon shook his head. "If a girl really loves you she should be content to stay in and wash your socks."

"I pity the poor girl who ends up with you," Jinn sighed.

"And I pity the poor girl who washes Obi-Wan's socks," Simeon chuckled. "Right. Here we go�um, what's the best way of doing this?"

"Why don't you fetch Healer Leona?" Qui-Gon asked pointedly.

"What, and let you loose in a wheelchair? I don't think so, sir. It would be more than my life is worth. Anyhow, she'll be along in a little while. Now," Simeon considered as he spun Qui-Gon's chair towards the low-lying bed, "you are far to big for me to manhandle and Master An-Paj doesn't trust me to force lift patients by myself, so I think I'm going to have to�" Simeon picked up the back of the wheelchair where the hand holds were and as quick as a flash pitched the master forward onto the bed.

This time Qui-Gon did scream.

*******

Obi-Wan was sulking. Inwardly.

His whole darned life seemed to revolve around this place. The numbers of cuts, burns, beatings, deep wounds, shocks and the like that he had received down the years were so extensive that the only person who could keep proper tabs on him was An-Paj. And that was only because he had a dossier full of his case notes. Well, this time was different because on this occasion he was walking in of his own volition. This time he wasn't being stretchered in or even (much more humiliatingly) carried in his master's arms. He could still walk. Just about.

So it didn't count.

//You go on thinking that if it gives you comfort// Obi-Wan thought morosely.

He very gingerly lowered himself into a seat in one of the waiting rooms, rubbing his sore leg absently and wondering as he always did whenever he was in a situation like this why it always happened to him. There came a loud groan from outside the waiting room.

"Why does it always happen to you?" Leona shook her head in disbelief.

"I was asking myself the same question," Obi-Wan said dryly.

"What is it that's wrong with you this time?"

"I�I've hurt my back a little. Nothing major."

"I'll be the judge of that," Leona replied. "How did you pick up this injury?"

"Er�" Obi-Wan half laughed. "I, er, fell off what I was sleeping with�I mean on! Yes, sleeping on. That's better."

Leona closed one eye and looked at him hard with the other. "I'd better have a look at you, hadn't I?" she remarked briskly.

"I'm sure there's really no need," Kenobi gulped.

"Why are you here then?"

"My master made me," Obi-Wan muttered, eyes to the floor.

That warranted a smile from the petite healer. "Hmmm. Do you think you can hobble through to the examination rooms?" she asked.

"If it means I don't actually have to be carried for once then I will gladly walk." Obi-Wan gritted his teeth as he pushed himself out of his chair and limped through after Leona. She pulled the curtain round swiftly, cutting them off from the outside world.

"Take off your tunic if you can, Padawan," Leona said, her professional healer�s mask at once in place.

Obi-Wan complied with great discomfort, fingers fumbling with his sash. "That's very direct and to the point," he laughed. "It's a good thing it's me and not Simeon you said that too. He likes women to be blunt and to the point."

"Does he indeed." Leona arched an eyebrow. "I wonder what An-Paj would say to that?"

She watched him struggle for a while when he tried to get his tunic over his head and then moved round to help him. "Here, let me�" she began as she pulled the tunic free of his body.

Obi-Wan caught sight of Leona staring at his naked back and blushed to his roots.

"Is something the matter?" he asked

"Yes, as a matter of fact." She examined his back by peering closer at his skin.

"What?" he began to become alarmed.

"Well, either you've been sleeping with a Rancor," Leona straightened up, tight lipped, "or you need to tell Jemmiah to get her nails cut."

Obi-Wan grew flustered. "You won't tell my master, will you?" he said in panic.

"I just hope you were�vigilant." Leona remarked.

"Vigilant?" the padawan blinked. "I certainly kept my eyes open�"

"I think you know what I mean. Accidents can easily happen in the spur of the moment."

"Not to me," Obi-Wan shook his head.

"So, I assume that it's an injury due to an unusual amount of exertion?"

"PLEASE DON'T TELL QUI-GON!" Obi-Wan begged.

Leona nodded reluctantly. "I don't like sneaking behind Qui-Gon's back." She replied. "It feels wrong. But I also think that the two of you should be allowed to see each other as you please. As long as he doesn't question me directly then I shall say nothing."

Obi-Wan breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Now, lets see what we can do about your back," she smiled.

*******

Qui-Gon had been on his own for so long that he had drifted off to sleep, or at least dozed. Face down on the bed onto which he'd been so unceremoniously dumped by Simeon, he'd been waiting on the healing touch of Leona to help put his ailing back to rights. Where was she anyhow?

Half-asleep and half-awake, Qui-Gon was feeling rather drowsy when a figure appeared in the doorway. Qui-Gon couldn't see it, but the steps alerted him to the presence of his beloved. "How do you fancy letting those wonderfully soothing fingers loose on my back, my darling?" he asked woozily.

There was a pause.

"Well, I'm flattered by your kind offer Qui-Gon but I'm afraid that my wives might get a bit jealous," An-Paj's voice came back.

Qui-Gon snapped suddenly awake.

"And that's Mr. Darling to you," he added with a grin.

*******

Rela had been true to her word and was fairly prompt in arriving at the temple. Her friend's behavior puzzled and worried her in that Jemmy could usually be seen with a devious grin of some description plastered across her face, and the quietness that sat in its place was rather unsettling. The Corellian had hardly uttered a word since Rela had set foot in the temple precinct.

"Hey?" Rela asked as gently as she could. "What's wrong with you? And why are we headed out to the gardens?"

"To get some privacy," Jemmy replied.

"From what? Slow down Jem, what's going on here?"

Jemmiah said nothing, merely increasing her stride in accordance with the level of annoyance she was feeling, leaving Rela to struggle alongside her. "Look, I can't help you if you won't tell me what the matter is." Rela said, legs pumping furiously to keep up.

"What's up?" Jemmy stopped in her tracks. "I feel like I have been used, that's what up."

"By whom?"

"Ben of course! I feel so humiliated! I can't believe that he'd do something so� insensitive!"

"Whoa!" Rela halted her flow of words. "Done what? What's so bad?"

Jemmy walked over to her favorite tree and sat herself down on the grass beneath it, motioning for Rela to do the same. "You know it's difficult for me to speak about�things. My past." She twisted her hair round her finger in agitation. "If I were to, I think that people would start to look at me in a funny way. You know, not feel comfortable with me."

"Heck, I understand that." Rela nodded. "Mind you, I like admitting to people that I've had a drink problem in the past. I like freaking them out. I tell 'em how I used to get so angry drunk on Tequila that I nearly killed a person once." She paused. "Then I ask if they want to buy me a drink. It's amazing that nobody has wanted to so far."

Jemmy didn't smile. "Look toots, I know what you're saying. You think that people will treat you like a plague victim if you tell them why you're so screwed up."

"Exactly." Jemmy nodded. "And that's what I love about Ben! He doesn't assume anything. Doesn't ask anything. It doesn't matter to him�at least I used to think so," she finished sadly.

"So what's changed?" Rela asked.

"Rela, I'm not making myself out to be some tragic heroine. I hate all that kind of thing. You're supposed to be able to lean from your past. But I admit that I had an unpleasant time of things until Master Jinn and Ben came and took me away. I was so astonished - I can still feel the sensation now if I close my eyes - that anyone could possibly want anything to do with me considering where I came from that I thought that I must be dreaming. They would speak to me like I was a human being, not a possession. It took me days and days to get used to it." Jemmiah smiled at the memory.

"I kept trying to do things for them on the journey to Coruscant. Little things like shining their boots and fetching their food. Master Jinn had to take me to one side and tell me to stop fussing. No," she recalled wistfully, "he told me to stop fussing 'please'. I couldn't remember the last time anyone had asked me instead of telling me to do something and it was a bit of a shock.

The fact that there were two people who didn't care about my history was so important to me. It really, really helped. I know Qui-Gon was curious. Is still curious, come to that. Ben doesn't mind at all which is so vital to me because�" she tried to think of the words. "I feel damaged. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how old I become; I just can't shake the feeling. I'm contaminated. You know what I'm talking about."

Rela nodded slowly.

"Imagine my delight when I thought that I'd fallen for someone who was already special to me as a friend, who understood what I am like and why I am like it. Someone who puts up with all the horrible things about me."

"You're not horrible," Rela remarked crisply.

"I can be Rel, and you know it. Hell, I know it. That's why when I found out today that Ben seems to think of me just like� it hurt so much. I mean, have I come all this way for nothing? I sometimes wonder what the point was in their bringing me off that planet when my life seems to be a large catalogue of failures and misery."

"Hey! You stop that right now, d'you hear?" Rela snapped. "You are feeling sorry for yourself. It's just a bad case of the blues. We all get 'em from time to time. You are not a failure. Obi-Wan is mad about you!"

"I used to think that." Jemmy replied, eyes still focused on the strand of chestnut hair she was winding and unwinding round her finger. "But tell me this Rela: If he's so mad about me then why has he got me a job in a brothel?"

Rela blinked. "A what?" the red head gasped with laughter.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny." Jemmy's eyes blazed with indignation. "A brothel! I mean, was he wondering if after all this time I was feeling homesick? Did he really think that I would want to go back to that kind of life? Yeah, I like the company of men and I like to flirt and tease and have a laugh but come on!"

"Jemmy, are you sure�" Rela began.

"I have it on holochip! A message from Madam Ying's of all places! It has all the class and sophistication of a jellied eel!"

"Madam Yi�, oh. I see what's happened. I think that�" Rela started to say before snapping her mouth shut suddenly.

"What?" Jemmy asked, bemused.

Rela frowned. This was her chance. Her moment to get even with S-B for that nice hole in her carpet and the jam and crystallized sugar on her bed. Not to mention the items she found in her sink. Using Jemmy like that was a bit rough perhaps, but when it came to the little matter of getting even�

"I think that no good boyfriend of yours needs to be taught a lesson." Rela declared, standing up again. "Don't you?"

"Yeah, but how?" Jemmy straightened her dress whilst Rela marveled at how Jemmy managed to make so little material stay where it was supposed to. It was so short that it hardly qualified for a dress�

A dress! That was it!

"I know you're usually the one with the imagination, my friend." Rela gave Jemmy a quick hug round the shoulders, "but on this occasion I think you ought to leave the creative stuff to me. You with me?"

"What are you going to do?"

Rela smirked; knowing that Obi-Wan's time for escaping justice -her justice- was nearly over. "I am going to go back to your place and we are going to put in a little call�I'm sure Obi-Wan will just love it. If this doesn't get the message across, nothing will."

Rela stopped as a furtive looking figure sneaked past in the distance.

"Am I seeing things," Rela pointed, "or is old Stinger Head pushing a wheelbarrow?"

*******

ONE HOUR LATER:

"Why has it taken you so long to decide how to treat me?" Jinn asked in a displeased tone.

"Believe me Qui-Gon, when you find out how you are going to be treated you will be glad of any stay of execution." An-Paj answered.

"Needles?" Jinn guessed.

"Specially sharpened," the healer deadpanned.

"Your hands are freezing!" Qui-Gon complained as An-Paj lifted up the covering on his broad back..

"And your point is?" An-Paj asked as he tried to locate the trouble spots.

"You said they wouldn't be!"

The blue-skinned healer tutted slightly. "How long have you been coming to the infirmary, Qui-Gon?" he asked.

"Too long."

"Fifty four years, is it not?" An-Paj asked with a small smile. "I'm sure it is, I have a good memory when it comes to suffering."

"Most of the suffering in here is inflicted by the healers," Qui-Gon replied irritably.

"Tssk-tssk! Such a defeatist attitude in one such as yourself! No wonder your padawan is such a coward. When it comes to needles he is just like his master."

"When it comes to needles your padawan is also just like his master," Qui-Gon shot back. "Lethal!"

"My point Master Jinn, is this: all this time you have been attending and you should know that when a healer says one thing he more often than not means another. It's code speak so that we don't frighten the patients."

An-Paj tapped the hypodermic a few times and waved it a few times in front of Qui-Gon. "Take this little instrument. Harmless enough, but in the arms of the experienced user, well, it can reduce a grown man to tears. But we say things like 'don't worry, it will soon be over with' and then proceed to drain the victim of their precious life fluid for what can seem like hours."

"Your padawan is going to turn into you, I just want you to know that," Qui-Gon hissed.

"Then he'll be a lucky young man indeed," sniffed An-Paj. "Now, I'm going to give you a shot."

"In code speak that means you're NOT going to?" Qui-Gon said hopefully.

"Wrong!"

"Damn."

"It'll numb you a bit. But it shouldn't make you too drowsy, so don't worry."

"In code speak that means worry, doesn't it?" Qui-Gon asked.

"You catch on fast, don't you?"

"What rules are you working to?"

"The only ones that matter." An-Paj grinned. "Mine!"

He bent down towards the prone master, needle in hand. "Now," he smiled evilly, "This won't hurt at all."

"And that means?" Qui-Gon gulped.

"He-he! You work it for yourself!" An-Paj winked as the hypodermic descended.

*******

I don�t believe I�m wearing this.� Rela moaned as she, Jemmiah, Tabby and a few other girls from Madam Ying�s made their way to the Healers.

�You look good Rel.� Jemmy told her cheerfully. �Not as good as me, but really good.�

�Jemmy I couldn�t compete with you, even if I wanted to.�

�I know.�

�There�s that Corellian humility cropping up again.� Rela bit out sarcastically.

�You two both look good. If either of you ever need a job, we could work something out.� Tabby told them.

Jemmiah and Rela looked at each other then turned back to Tabby. �No thanks.� they told the girl in unison.

�That�s the reason we�re doing this in the first place,� Jemmy clarified.

The small group of girls continued towards the Healers. Thankfully no one saw the scantily clad group, otherwise security would probably have been called. Jemmiah was wearing the red and gold dress that Leona had given her. The same dress that Obi-Wan had liked so much the night before. Tabby, one of the girls from Madam Ying�s was wearing a similar dress, but silver and blue. Rela had gone with a two piece black out fit, mainly because it went with her boots. Although somehow Jemmiah had persuaded her to wear her hair down, and had been commenting on it ever since.

�I knew you had curls, but I never thought that they were so...� Jemmiah started.

�Demented?� Rela supplied for her.

�That�s as good a word as any,� Jemmy replied.

The odd looking group soon arrived at the Healers and Tabby turned to the two girls that knew it best. �Now what?� she asked.

�We find him,� Jemmiah supplied in a deadly voice. �Which way Rel?�

�I�m not the one with the accident prone boyfriend. You should know this place better than me.�

�I though you knew this place like the back of your hand?�

�I know the vent system. I still get turned around in the hallways.�

Jemmy just stared at Rela. �You ~are~ weird,� Jemmy told her echoing Obi-Wan�s earlier statement.

�Tell me something I don�t know. Fine.� Rela closed her eyes and started to point. �Let�s go this way.�

�Lead the way ladies,� Tabby told them as they made their way into the Healers.

*******

Qui-Gon lay on the bed in a drug induced haze praising the Force that An-Paj had stopped the torture session. He started to hear voices, but quickly passed it off as the painkillers. They began to get closer and sounded somewhat familiar. �I knew it was the other way,� the first one said.

�Then you should have said something,� the second answered.

�I thought I did.�

�Nope. Is that who I think it is?�

�We can�t pass this up.�

�We are totally busted, but you�re right we can�t pass this up.�

The two voices slowly made their way towards him. Two blurry bodies suddenly came into his line of vision and from what he could tell neither were wearing very much. �Something�s not right,� a familiar Corellian voice said. A very fast blurry thing started waving in his face.

�Stop it,� he mumbled.

�He�s drugged,� the same voice said happily.

�Drugged? He�s doped to the gills! This is going to be good,� a second voice chimed in.

�Hello Kai,� it said.

Only one person that he could remember at the moment called him that. �Rela?� he asked

�Actually I was thinking of changing it to Scarlet. Kinda fitting don�t you think? Especially considering what I�m wearing.�

�No,� he managed to get out.

�That�s okay because I�m preparing myself to become part of Captain Demodae's crew. The pay is very good.�

�Jemmiah?� he croaked.

�The one and only, but we wanted to come by and see you first.�

That made Qui-Gon happy. His two little girls were so concerned about him that they felt they needed to see him. Thank the Force that they got along so well together.

�It�s the beard. We�re going to have to get rid of it again.�

�What? No, please.�

�I like the beard Jemmy. It�s easier to spot all the gray.�

�That�s why we have to get rid of it, Rel.�

�It�s Scarlet if you please. Hey Kai! While she�s shaving off your beard, you wanna see my tattoo? I call him Santos.�

The figure that he guessed was Rela started to pull down a part of her outfit that was very inappropriate. He quickly turned his head away and muttered something unrecognizable.

�What was that? I didn�t catch that? Santos is quite insulted.�

�EW! I had no idea that�s what it was. That�s worse than what Spider has.�

�There�s a long story behind it. If you don�t tell anyone else what or where it is, maybe I�ll tell you.�

�What have I done to deserve this?� Qui-Gon moaned.

�Nothing. Just two Pathetic Lifeforms extracting our good deeds for the day,� Jemmy snickered.

�We need to go now Kai. Gotta frosty mug Hooch drinking contest to get to. You know that I�m defending champ.� Scarlet/Rela told him.

�Grand prize is a swoop. After we get all the money we�re going to make at Ying�s we�ll have two then we�ll start a gang.�

Qui-Gon felt as if we were being surrounded by snickering girls in revealing clothes.

�Before we go wanted to get some holos for prosperity. Tabby could you do the honors?�

�I�d be happy to,� a third voice chimed in.

�What about taking his temperature?� Jemmy�s voice asked.

�I�m not doing it, but I won�t stop you from it,� Rela/Scarlet replied.

The next thing Qui-Gon knew, flashes were going off and girls were kissing him. All he could do was sigh. �Go back to sleep Kai and we�ll call Leona in the morning.�

*******

Simeon had found an out of the way place that hopefully his Master wouldn�t find. Finally having a moment to himself, he began to whistle happily to himself. Before he had a chance to actually relax he caught sight of two familiar figures. Well he thought they were familiar, maybe in his dreams they were. They were both laughing, but seemed lost.

�I don�t know where he is!� the smaller figure cried out in frustration

�Well find out!�

�Why me?�

�Because you�re smaller and can eavesdrop easier.�

�Oh! Okay.�

Simeon continued to watch them, and then it hit him. Jemmiah and Rela?! Simeon suddenly couldn�t whistle anymore because his mouth went dry. Then he watched them as they turned and spotted him. �Frizzy!� Rela shouted as she ran towards him.

�Huh?� was all he could get out.

�Frizzy? Where�s Kenobi?�

�Eh?�

�Frizzy, please say something,� Rela begged.

�Nice boots?�

�Thanks. Technically you bought them for me. Now where�s Kenobi?�

Simeon, who was concentrating on the dress that Rela was wearing, or more to the fact not wearing, pointed to the opposite end of the Healers. �Thanks Frizzy!� Rela told him with a pat on the cheek.

Simeon just whimpered as he watched them leave. �I know what I�ll be dreaming tonight.�

*******

"He's down here some place." Rela said out the corner of her mouth. "If Frizzy's correct then we should have no problems with�" She held up her hand and waved Jemmiah, Tabby and the others to the side. Jemmy's eyes peeped round the corner of one of the spare cubicles, growing bigger as they took in the busy figure of Healer Leona exiting from one of the examination areas, armed with what looked like a bowl of steaming hot water and cotton swabs.

"He's in that one," Jemmy purred.

"How can you be sure?" Rela argued as Tabby and the four other girls all huddled round them again. "We can't just burst in there on the off chance that it's Scrub-Brush. It could be someone completely innocent. And completely naked. You can get arrested for that, as if I need to remind you."

"We can take a peek round the curtains," Jemmy said uncomfortably.

"We?" queried Rela.

"Okay, you," Jemmy amended hastily.

"I thought Corellians weren't cowardly," Rela needled the girl.

"We're not!"

"So you do it!"

"What if it's not him?"

"And you think that by sending me to have a good look is going to make it anymore him than it might not be?"

"Eh?" Jemmy frowned.

"Just go over there and have a peek. If he's in the nude it's not like he's got something you've never seen before."

"There has to be more to life than this, Rel," Jemmy sighed, before adding "but I surely hope not!"

Sneaking on tiptoe towards the examination area, Jemmy heard a very familiar sound indeed. "It's him," she nodded at Rela.

"Yeah? How can you tell?" The redhead asked, brushing the leonine mass of hair away from the side of her face. There was a slight pause in the conversation where Rela could clearly hear what Jemmy was alluding to.

"Does he always snore like that?"

"It's got worse over the years." Jemmy said, sounding one half of an old married couple. "I'd tell him it was a medical problem but he wouldn't thank me for it. And Master Jinn is just as bad. Still, I have a favorite cure. It works, too."

"No kidding? How?" Rela asked, intrigued.

Jemmy looked about her one last time and then beckoned the others into the padawan's cubical. "Look at his back!" Rela pointed in glee. "Did you do that?"

"Oh, that's the least of his troubles." Jemmy watched as the padawan slept on his side, mouth hanging open. "I just couldn't possibly tell you how he got that limp�"

"Limp what?"

"RELA!" Jemmy smacked her on the arm, trying not to laugh. "Don't be vulgar! He's gonna wake up of we're not careful."

"I thought we wanted him to wake up?" Tabby asked, toying with her thick gold braid. "Don't we?"

"Yes," agreed Jemmiah. "But it's the manner of his waking up that is so important."

"How do you mean?"

"Watch and learn." Jemmy spotted the padawan�s boots lying in the corner and then, with nose firmly wrinkled, dared to try and take off one of his socks.

"Oh, you brave girl." Rela shook her head. "Surgeons couldn't do it, Qui-Gon couldn't do it but Jemmy manages what nobody else in the galaxy could ever do: force Kenobi's feet out of his socks."

"I'm gonna sterilize my fingers." Jemmy held the offending object up by the toe and several inches away from her face in disgust. Closing her eyes, she began to scrunch up the sock into a ball before walking stealthily towards the slumbering frame of Obi-Wan.

"Ben," she mumbled gently in his ear.

"Hmmm."

"Ben, you awake?" she tickled his face with his braid end.

"Wha�? Jemmy?" he mumbled, smiling slightly. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me handsome. I've got a little present for you, but NO PEEKING. Understood?"

"Hmmm, I'll look forward to that," he murmured. "Give it to me then."

Rela and some of the girls tittered slightly. "Okay, here it comes Ben." Jemmy lowered the sock and stuffed it into his half open mouth.

"MWHHMPPH!" Obi-Wan choked, sitting up suddenly.

"Sorry? What was that?" Jemmy asked innocently.

Kenobi sat up, coughing and spluttering: torn between holding his back or his throat. "That was a horrible trick to play on a padawan!" Obi-Wan glared. "I am thoroughly crippled and it's all your fault!"

"You always fall for it though, don't you?" Jemmy crossed her arms although in all honesty Obi-Wan wasn't looking at that part of her anatomy�

"Hello? I am up here." Jemmy pointed at her face.

"Sorry," he said. "although I am wondering what the heck is going on�RELA?!?!" he asked in astonishment. "Is that really you?"

"Who did you think it would be? The Queen of Naboo?" Rela shook her head.

"But you look different," he squinted round at the others.

"What, you mean not dressed like you?"

"Pardon?"

"It doesn't matter," Rela frowned. "Yet."

Jemmy perched on the bed beside her boyfriend. "If this is how easily you tire out then I'm going to have to think about getting myself a younger model. Or one with some staying power." She grinned. "Can't have you falling to bits every time you get a little amorous."

"A little�" Obi-Wan began, realizing that he was making an exhibition of himself in front of everyone in the cubical. When he stopped to think about it he did wonder how all these girls had got there in the first place� "Jemmy, much as I really like you in that dress might I be permitted to ask what you are doing wearing it in the infirmary?"

"Well," she replied teasingly, stroking his spiky hair, "You see, I thought if I was going to be working at Madam Ying's then I might as well get used to wearing the outfit, huh?"

"Working?" Obi-Wan squeaked.

"Yes. Don't you remember? You got me a job in a brothel. Is it all coming back to you? It really was VERY considerate of you." She continued to fawn over him but Obi-Wan caught sight of the dangerous gleam in her eye and shrank slightly away.

"N-n-now, Jemmy," he said with a very dry throat. "That was a mistake."

"It certainly was" she agreed.

"Nevermind, S-B!" Rela said cheerily. "We came here to visit you in your hour of need. To comfort you, to console you�to humiliate you something terrible."

"What?" Obi-Wan asked, gritting with the pain in his back.

"These lovely girls are here at our expense to throw a little party for you, isn't that right girls?" Rela asked.

"Yeah!" chorused the little troupe.

"And they really know how to party. So budge up S-B." Rela threw herself down on the edge of the bed and watched as Obi-Wan squirmed into an uncomfortable half standing position.

"Got the holocam, ladies?" Jemmy asked boisterously.

Obi-Wan didn't need to wait. The words holocam had the miraculous affect of curing his back enough to be able to dash/limp through the curtains and out through the double doors and through to freedom. He could hear the girls baying for his blood in a hormonal type version of a feeding frenzy he'd once seen on a wildlife documentary.

They would catch him for sure.

Then his eyes fell on the method of his salvation. Outside in the corridor was a wheelchair. He would bet any odds that he could force wheel himself faster than the girls could run in their impractical shoes.

Obi-Wan lowered himself into the seat with a thud that caused him even more pain. His hand went to the wheel and started to spin it round to start with, letting the chair get some momentum before speeding things up with a sustained burst of force energy. It soon left his pursuers trailing in his wake, much to his relief. He hurtled down a small ramp, the wheels squeaking like a giant turbo powered sand hamster and then on through another set of double doors, which he remembered to force push open at the last moment.

The lights went past so fast that it was like a blur, hurting his eyes. He could almost call it fun in any other circumstance. Except that he knew that Jemmy would hunt him down and have his carcass for breakfast if he didn't explain the truth of the Madam Ying episode.

How would he manage that?

Faster and faster he went, down a stretch of empty corridor that he knew well: too well. The one that led to Kenobi Ward if you veered to the left. Well, he had no intention of doing that!

And then up ahead he saw a bucket and a mop lying in the middle of the corridor.

Obi-Wan put his every effort into swinging round to the left and avoiding the objects placed in his path and to his credit and his considerable relief he avoided the inevitable collision.

His happiness was short lived when he took the corner and collided with something else of an altogether more solid substance.

The object gave a scream and fell backwards. Obi-Wan gave a scream and flew up in the air. The chair followed Obi-Wan up, with the exception of one of the wheels that had come loose and whizzed it's way across the ground until it came into contact with the object that the padawan had smacked into.

The last thing Obi-Wan remembered before the world went fuzzy was the image of Dimallie lying unconscious on the floor with a very squeaky wheel going round and round and round beside her until it fell on its side and ceased to move. And then, mercifully, the blackness claimed him too.

*******

Jemmiah and Rela followed the trail of the constant eeeeek! of the wheelchair. When they finally caught up, they realized that Obi-Wan had done it again. Somehow he had managed to run directly into Dimallie. And when some time later on they had visited the padawan, trussed up in bed with an even more severe strain to his back than he had previously, Obi-Wan was feeling more than a little sorry for himself.

//More like terrified,// Rela thought.

"How's Dimallie?" he managed to croak.

"Concussion." Rela pronounced. "I heard Leona say so when she was out in the corridor scooping her off the floor."

�I guess what goes around comes around.� Jemmy murmured in delight.

�Jemmy, please don�t kill me!� Obi-Wan begged. �I am truly sorry.�

�You got me a job in a brothel Ben!� she shouted at him.

�It was an accident! I didn�t know it was a brothel until later! None of us did! Right Rela!�

All eyes turned towards the small redhead. �You knew?!� Jemmy asked in disbelief.

�Sith!� Rela cursed. �He�s telling the truth, he didn�t know until after he was already in one of the rooms and a girl came in asking what he liked.�

�That was helpful Rela!� Obi-Wan bit out.

�What do you want me to say Kenobi? I told you we shouldn�t have gone there. Then I let you use my place, you put a hole in my carpet the size of a Bantha, eat in my bed, which I don�t even do, freak out my neighbor, then run out when I need help cleaning up your mess!�

Jemmiah just continued to look at her friend. �But Rela you knew the truth.�

�Yes, I did Jemmy, and I�m sorry, but you would have done the same thing if you were in my place. Plus if you wanted a job you should have just asked me.�

�Rela I hate it when you do that,� Obi-Wan said disgusted.

�When I do what?� Rela asked testily.

�Change it around so that we�re in the wrong.�

Rela walked over to Obi-Wan who was sitting up in his bed and slapped him upside the head. �You are in the wrong Kenobi, but I will admit that you never gave them Jemmy�s address. I have no idea how they found that out.�

�Well thank you for that!� Obi-Wan said with some relief.

One of the girls from Madam Ying�s cleared her throat to grab everyone attention. She pushed Tabby forward so that she could explain. �Umm, we got the address from another Jedi. Menali-Jay? Do you know him?� Tabby asked innocently.

Obi-Wan�s eyes turned to slits as he clenched his jaw. �Oh yes I know him. He�s a dead man walking.�

While Obi-Wan continued to think of all sorts of nasty ways he could kill Jay, Rela turned towards Jemmy to explain further. �Jemmy, I�m really sorry that I used you that way, but it was the best way I could take revenge on your boyfriend.�

�All that just because of what he did to your place.�

�Well that and the way I was so unceremoniously dissed after the cantina crawl.�

�Now what are you talking about?� Obi-Wan asked in wonder.

�Oh, let me see how was it that Simeon phrased it? Oh that�s right, I was dressed different! I had to sleep over at Spiders! Wait let me correct that I had to stay over at Spiders! I never slept. Twice! Do you know how creepy that is?�

Obi-Wan just threw up his hands in expiration knowing that he had lost, but at least Jemmy wasn�t going to kill him. �C�mon Rel. You can stay at my place tonight. We have something to take care of in the morning.�

�Thank Jem. It�s amazing what you can�t take care of when you don�t have Jedi getting involved.�

Jemmiah was about to leave when Obi-Wan put out a hand to stop her. "Wait, Jemmy."

"You've already apologized," she said gruffly. "Let's leave it at that."

"No," Obi-Wan mumbled. "I need�you know."

Her eyes followed his to the bedpan on the side table.

"Oh, Sith." She frowned. "I hope you can manage for yourself."

"Yeah, but maybe not with all these spectators." He glanced at Rela and Tabby with friends in tow.

"I've already had my sneak preview anyhow," Rela declared.

Obi-Wan colored. "Jemmy, please? Help me to my feet and pass me the�"

"Yeah, okay," she grumbled. "Wait for me outside, Rel. I'll be with you in a bit. I'm just toilet training this one."

Rela chuckled and she and the others left the room. Interestingly enough, the first person she saw was the smug looking face of Menali-Jay Abran� "I wouldn't go in there yet, sunshine," Rela winked.

"Why?"

"Just take a tip�don't," she grinned.

Abran paid her little heed, just as she had known he would. Which was just as she had intended.

*******

"Is that all?" Jemmy frowned as she placed the used bottle at the side of the bed. "After all that fuss?"

"You put me off," he grumbled.

"It's all the excitement, more likely," she said, bending over to straighten her stockings and making sure Obi-Wan knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Now THAT'S my idea of a friendly face," Jay Abran said as he regarded Jemmiah from the rear.

It was a good thing that Jemmy's back was to him otherwise her eyes would once more have betrayed her annoyance and given him a clear warning of what was to happen. "Hello Jay." Obi-Wan said in a crisp voice, stretching out his hand to Jemmy. "Pass me the bottle, would you?"

Jay frowned as Jemmy grabbed hold of the used bottle and ducked in one flowing, swift move: getting out of Obi-Wan's line of fire. Jay Abran managed to duck at the very last moment.

"I hope this will teach you not to fool about on wheelchairs young ma�" Leona said as she entered through the double doors just in time to see Jay fling himself to the ground.

Jemmy watched in horror as the bottle hit Leona smack on the head. The image of the petite healer with rivulets of wee running down her face was going to be very difficult to rid herself of for a long, long time to come.

"It could have been worse," Jemmy remarked cheerfully. "It might have been full to the top."

Leona just stared in disbelief. �Just you wait until you need a bed bath." She remarked to Obi-Wan. "Then you'll be sorry."

*******

"What are you two giggling about?" Evla asked, glancing up from the holofilm she was watching.

"Nothing," Jemmiah replied too quickly. "Absolutely nothing."

"Hmmm." Evla turned her face back to the film but kept one ear trained at all times on the two young ladies as they lay stretched out on the floor surrounded by flimsypics all heaped about them. Every now and then the sound of a pair of utility jack scissors could be heard trimming away at the pics, interspersed with more giggling.

"How about this one?" Jemmy grinned. "You think he's good?"

Rela shuffled round on her knees to get a better look. "Naaaaaaaaah!" she dismissed the selection with a wave of her hand. "There are far better ones in here. Like�" she ferreted around with her hands amidst the flimsy mountain, "�this one!"

"Lyfar Darrington," Jemmy tutted.

"Nothing wrong with ol' Lyf. He's a bit of a looker, if you ask me."

"Nice body." Jemmy agreed. "If we took his torso and then�" she placed a picture of some other male over Lyfar's head, "and this one's face then we might have something half decent."

"What about we take this pic of Rex Victory's body and put on this pic of�.Master Windu!" Rela laughed. "Or Obi-Wan! Poor old Scrub Brush! We never did get any pics of him and the girls�what if we make one up and hang it in the refectory."

"I've got an even better idea!" Jemmy laughed. "How about we do a slide show of all our favorite Jedi from the cantina crawl?"

Rela's eyes lit up. "Hey, yeah! That would work. But where've you hidden the holochip? C'mon Jem. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Not saying."

"Jemmy�look. I like you. You're almost like my sister, practically. So," she clapped a hand onto Jemmiah's shoulders, "how about you let me have a copy of the chip, huh? For your bestest friend?"

"You help me set this up and I'll think about it," Jemmy replied cautiously.

"Deal," grinned Rela, looking back at the pics. "So where is the chip?"

"The real one is buried in the gardens at a location known only to myself," Jemmy smiled. "As for the copy�" Her hands went to the locket round her neck, sliding the chain over her head until she held the necklace in her hands. Gently she undid the catch. In one half there was a picture of herself. In the other a picture of Obi-Wan.

"Urgh!" Rela grinned. "Soppy doesn't go far enough."

"Ben bought me this locket," she replied. "And it's extremely ugly and old fashioned and I absolutely hate it. But I also love it because it was the thought that counts. Not to mention the fact that it's perfect for hiding tiny holochips in."

Sure enough, Jemmy opened up the back� And out fell the chip.

"How much juicy stuff can we get from this?" she asked Rela.

"I don't know," Rela smiled, "but I'm gonna be dreaming about it all night!"

*******

NEXT DAY:

He was in that dammed wheelchair again. The constant eeeeek! was almost annoying enough to take him mind off the pain in his back. Almost. The only good thing about it was the fact that Leona was pushing him this time, and she wasn�t whistling.

�Almost there,� she told him cheerfully.

�Couldn�t you just have brought me something down?� Qui-Gon asked.

�You of all people wanting to STAY at the Healers? The only thing that could surprise me more was if it was your padawan who had said that.�

They reached the refectory way too soon for Qui-Gon�s taste. At least the eeeking would stop once they got there. Leona slowly wheeled him inside, too slowly for Qui-Gon�s taste. He felt that everyone was watching him. Watching him and grinning. Then he saw it.

�What in the lower pits of Hell?!� he yelled.

Hanging in the middle of the room was a large, blown up holo of him. Him lying on his stomach surrounded by scantily clad girls. Two of which seemed awfully familiar.

�So that�s how you threw your back out Qui!� Dex yelled at him.

�Yeah, some punishment!� Mace agreed. �I get stuck doing manual labor for a master who�s aim is rivaled only by Yoda, and you get a visit from Ying�s!�

�I thought it was a dream!� Qui-Gon wailed.

�That�s not something you should repeat. Women don�t like it when you don�t remember.� Dex warned.

�As you know all too well!� Krelo reminded him.

Back pain temporarily forgotten, Qui-Gon got up stormed over to the holo and tore it down. As he studied the two familiar figures, he realized that getting up was the wrong thing to do. But he wasn�t about to let an injury stop him from punishing the two pranksters that he, unfortunately, knew all too well.

�Jemmiah! Rela!�

�Yes!� they answered sweetly in unison from above.

Qui-Gon looked up at the ventilation shaft that was located right beside where the holo was hanging. �You two come down here right now!� he bellowed.

�How will we get back up?� Jemmiah asked innocently

�I don�t care. Did you two do this?�

�Would we do something like that?� they asked.

�YES!� the entire room answered.

Rela�s head poked out and looked around the room. �Thank you all soooooo much for your support!� she said dryly. �Now Qui-Gon you better sit back down before you hurt yourself further.�

With the reminder, Qui-Gon realized that he had hurt his back even more and he struggled to sit back in the wheelchair. Leona gave him a consoling look and bent down to whisper in his ear. �I believe that you will soon be getting another round of therapy from An-Paj.� Then she straightened up and took a quick look around the room. �Padawan Cates! Would you be so kind as to take Master Jinn back to the Healers?�

�Certainly Healer Leona,� he answered cheerfully and as he started whistling.

Qui-Gon got a pained look on his face and stopped Simeon for a moment. �I just want to know one thing. Rela do you really have a tattoo?�

�Yes I do,� came the answer from the vent.

�Where is it?�

�That�s kinda personal. Anyway you said only one thing.�

With a whimper Simeon turned and started pushing Qui-Gon back to sanctuary of the Healers. A few minutes passed and Rela and Jemmiah poked their heads back through the vent.

�He�s gone.� They told each other.

Rela deftly swung out of the vent and landed quietly on the floor. With a whistle, Jemmiah supplied her with another large holo, which they put in the same spot as the previous one. All eyes watched as Rela somehow managed to get back up into the vent aided only by Jemmiah. Then the room was filled with the sound of wicked laughter as the two girls made their escape.

*******

"I can hear more laughter!" Qui-Gon tried to turn his head round in truly paranoid fashion. "Drifting down from the refectory�turn back!"

"Sorry. The big boss lady has given me my marching orders." Simeon said cheerfully. "And you do not tangle with her lightly. As no doubt you'll be finding out in due course�"

"Pardon?"

"I think you need to have a nice long rest," Simeon pronounced. "You're looking a little bit wasted, if you don't mind me saying sir."

"I do mind you saying," grumbled Qui-Gon.

"You shouldn't allow yourself to get so stressed. It's not good in a man of your age."

"My what?!?" Jinn wondered if he'd heard right.

"You should start slowing down. Take it easy�and if any of these holos on the wall are anything to go by I think you are going to need to invest in a hernia prevention kit. Sheeesh!" he whistled appreciatively. "Look at that one! Is that really Jemmiah? And Rela? And that Tabby girl from Madam Ying's�"

"Madam who?" Qui-Gon asked. "Steer me over. I want a closer look."

"I'm not sure that's such a good�" began Simeon.

"Do you wish to end up in the chair as opposed to pushing it?" Qui-Gon let his threat hang in the air.

Simeon blew out a breath. "Who got out of bed the wrong side this morning?" he asked as the chair eeeeeked its way over.

"I didn't get out of bed at all this morning. I had Healer Territ pull me out of bed."

"I know some girls who would say 'lucky you' to that," Simeon grinned.

Qui-Gon gawked at the holopic nearest him. It was one of himself�wearing a dress. A Corellian dancer�s dress with stripy stockings. And of course his beard was missing. He remembered Jemmiah's threats to remove it again and quickly put his hands up to his face to reassure himself of its existence.

There was one further along of Dex wobbling about on his heels. And then another one of�

Of himself KISSING JEMMIAH.

"Get it down!" he yelled. "I DO NOT WANT Yoda to see that! I do not want ANYONE to see that! In fact I do not want to even have to think about it!!!"

"Hmmm. That might be difficult." Simeon laughed. "They're all over the temple."

"WHAT!!!" Exclaimed Qui-Gon. "Everywhere?"

"Everywhere. There was this absolutely massive one they must have sneaked into the infirmary. It gave the visitors to the open clinic something to talk about."

"Why?" he asked fearfully.

"Because it was one of Jemmy pulling those out-sized undies up your padawan's legs using only her teeth."

"Oh, Sith!" Qui-Gon said in a horrified voice.

"It's not all bad," Simeon chuckled to himself for a while. "Someone offered to buy it."

Qui-Gon looked as if he would have a fit. "And as for the one they put outside Yoda's apartment�"

"QUICK!" Jinn yelped in an impossibly high voice. "Let's go!"

"Where?"

"Everywhere! We have got to take them all down. ALL of them, do you hear me, Simeon?"

"But they've got hundreds and hundreds of stills from the cantina crawl," Cates protested.

"I don't care! Get those wheels into top gear, we have got some speeding to do!" Qui-Gon commanded, tearing down another picture as they went past.

One of him getting his temperature taken with what appeared to be an orchid�

Up above, in the safety of the ventilation shaft, Jemmy and Rela rubbed their hands. "And so begins the Inaugural Hosting of the Great Jedi Holo chase!" Jemmiah laughed.

"You are cruel."

"I know. So are you."

"I know." Rela wrinkled her nose in glee, and held out her hand. "Put it there partner!"

"Now for phase two," Jemmiah considered.

Rela looked surprised. "I didn't know there was a phase two."

"Oh, yes," Jemmy nodded. "How many holos do we still have in your bag?"

"Hundreds. Why?" Rela wondered.

"Where in your opinion is the first place Master Jinn will go?"

The red head shrugged. "I dunno. Yoda's place?"

"You betcha it'll be Yoda's place! And as soon as he's worked out we've stuck one of these beauties up he'll be tearing it down."

"So?"

"So," Jemmy grinned, the light burning in her eyes, "we put one back up again!"

*******

"There!" Qui-Gon waved at Simeon, who was by now utterly exhausted and red in the face with pushing the master about. "Quick!"

Simeon screeched to a halt, praying that this torment would come to an end soon.

"By thunder, look at this one!" Qui-Gon gulped. "It's Mace with his hands halfway up Jay Abran's stockings!"

"Good-thing-we�got-here-in�time!" puffed Simeon.

"Yes, but how many more are there?" Qui-Gon snapped. "I will make sure Evla never lets that girl out of here until her Thirtieth birthday! And as for that dress�"

"It was nice, wasn't it?" sighed Simeon.

"Nice?"

"In a non-existent sort of way," Cates elaborated on his answer.

"You have a serious death wish," Jinn said.

"Who's pushing your chair, sir?" Simeon gasped.

Qui-Gon clamped his mouth closed for a moment. "Back the way we came," he said finally. "We can work our way back down to the infirmary as we go. Make sure that there aren't any�"

His words were cut abruptly to a halt. "I�don't�believe�it!" he managed to say.

Simeon stared. "But how?" Cates asked in astonishment. "We took them all down!"

"They're back up now!" Jinn hissed.

"That's not possible."

A noise from above their head, as ort of metallic thumping sound and quick bursts of echoing giggling alerted Qui-Gon to exactly what was going on. "It is when somebody's in the ventilation shaft and sneaking down to replace them!" he yelled. "Hurry! We've got to go all the way back!"

"Oh, please no!" Simeon coughed. "I can't!"

"Yes you can! And if you don't want to see," he snatched down a pic of Simeon wearing a wedding dress, "yourself in all your finery I suggest that you're quick about it too!"

Simeon pushed the determined Qui-Gon back towards the turbo lift, snatching up holopics as they went from every wall, accompanied overhead by the sound of female laughter coming through the grills�

"What next?" Rela asked.

"Well, we can't go back to the refectory. They still won't have got over the pic of Mace in his Huttese dancing girl costume. SO I think there's one port of call left."

"Where's that?"

Jemmy grinned. "The infirmary."

*******

THAT NIGHT:

Obi-Wan moaned quietly to himself.

He was a wreck. Twenty years old and he was a write-off. Of course he'd been saying that since he was thirteen.

Lying in a bed in his ward was not his favorite way of passing the day. He ached in every limb and his back screamed with every slight move. How much was his own pain he couldn't say but he was beginning to wonder if one could get sympathy pains on behalf of your master�

He'd dozed off again. He hadn't felt safe to do that ever since Jemmy had stuffed his rather rank sock in his mouth.

He'd had no idea how long he'd been asleep this time except he'd had a vague feeling a while ago that somebody had been in to visit him but not disturbed him. Probably Ferdi or Leona, he thought.

Slowly, he opened one eye.

At first his brain couldn't quite work it out�there seemed to be some sort of picture lying almost smack infront of him. When he opened the other eye to help make sense of it, Obi-Wan took several moments trying to work out what the heck it was�

And then it all came zooming into focus.

The picture was from the cantina crawl�a picture of himself and Jemmiah caught up in a rather passionate embrace. Inspite of his pain, Obi-Wan felt the smile on his face begin to grow.

//I think that's worth a little suffering// he thought in amusement as he stared at the picture.

Above his bed he heard the sound of voices in the ventilation shaft. "Goodnight Ben!" it said.

"Yeah, goodnight Scrub Brush," said the second. "Enjoy the present."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes again, content.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad in the infirmary after all.