A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


"Made it!" Meri couldn't believe it. Her feet were about set to fall off and her head felt as if it were stuffed full of melted Nerf's cheese, but still reckoned that overall she'd done about the best of all the crawlers that evening.

Yes, she'd been embarrassed, humiliated and had drunk more alcohol in this one evening than she had in her entire life but that didn't matter. She hadn't been sick once. Unlike Kylenn, Simeon, Dimallie, Piggy, Jemmy�

And Jay.

As soon as she was in she turned up the lights a fraction, not wanting to disturb her master too much, and ran straight for the holoterminal.

There was no message.

She'd won!

Y-E-S!

That would wipe the smile of that big head Abran's face.

She recorded her own message for Jay, a grin as wide as a Hutt in an eatery on her face. It wasn't that she didn't like Jay: she did. Everyone did. It was just that sometimes you had to try very hard to remember why you liked him.

Well, that would sort him out and no mistake! She could just picture his face when he came back to that message.

Her stomach twinged uneasily as the excitement died away. Leona had virtually carried a half sleeping Simeon to the infirmary on her back, hoping to try to sober the boy up a little before An-Paj decided to use him for dissection. Tanni had likewise been dragged to the infirmary by Vernice, who had noticed with some dismay that his skin problem had kicked in again.

Meri brushed the felines fur and dander off her robe. Vernice had been right, she thought in disgust. She'd be picking cat hair off her clothes for months� As Meri turned to trudge wearily to her room a quiet sound in the corner of the living quarters made her jump just a little. It sounded almost like a groan.

There it was again.

"I don't believe it," a voice from behind the couch was saying. "I don't believe I did it."

"Master?" Meri squinted at the item of furniture that had suddenly learned to talk and sound just like Alex. "Is that you?"

"I don't believe it," Alex repeated. "I can't believe I said what I did� the troll is going to make my existence a misery for the rest of my life! I'll always be watching my back, wondering just what sort of hellish padawan/master excursion or idiotic mission he will cook up for me next. And all because I told him the truth!"

"Master, what are you talking about?" Meri slowly and dizzily made her way over to the couch.

She looked down to see her master, sat on the floor with his back against the couch, head in hands. A little silver cup nestled in his lap. "What's happened?" Meri asked. "It can't be all that bad."

"It is! It is!" Alex looked balefully up at his padawan.

"What?"

"I as good as told Yoda he was tone deaf and had no ear for music whatsoever. I told him that he couldn't sing! Meri, what am I going to do?"

"You could buy him a gift as a peace offering," Meri laughed.

"Like what?"

"Earplugs!" Meri clapped her hands. "You told Yoda he was tone deaf? Oh, that is just the perfect way to round off an evening, master! I can't think of any other way that could possibly�" Meri covered her mouth with her hands as her stomach began to heave violently and ran to the fresher room with all expediency.

She didn't know how he'd managed it, but she was certain this was Jay's idea of revenge.

*******

Obi-Wan tried to sit up but couldn't. He felt as if he had half a lake in his lungs. And there was a persistent thumping on his back that was not helping him one little bit. His brain felt waterlogged. Everything felt waterlogged. Through the water filled haze a voice kept calling on him, telling him to wake up, telling him to keep going�

Obi-Wan suddenly retched water into the grass.

"Yes! Ben, you are wonderful. Do it again!"

The padawan couldn't believe that someone was praising him for being sick. His body felt three times his own weight, and not just through the excess water he'd taken in when virtually drowning in the fountain. There was something pinning him to the ground.

With great effort he managed to half turn his head. The sight that met him was one of surprise and then another of horror. The first one was the somewhat surreal image of his girlfriend straddled on his back�wearing virtually nothing at all, save for a few silken strands of black in strategic places. The second one was the sight of An-Paj and two other healers haring across the lawn to meet him.

The excitement was all too much for him and the padawan decided it might be best if he passed out.

He did.

*******

"Simeon Cates, you are a disgrace!" Leona remarked as she gently lowered the suffering padawan into a chair in one of the waiting rooms.

"Urrrrrrrrr. Wanna die," moaned the young man.

"And you will. Just as soon as An-Paj arrives back." Simeon looked up at her with misery in his black eyes but Leona tried to ignore the wheedling look. "I believe he was called out to some emergency in the temple someplace so your ritual slaughter will just have to wait."

"It's not fair." Simeon reminded her of a little cr�che toddler who had fallen over and was about to burst into tears. "We were only having fun out there�you'd think he'd never had fun! He's got six wives for heaven's sake."

"So you remember who he is now. At least that's something." Leona remarked crisply as she sat down besides the boy and handed him two headache tablets. "Here. They're not strong because you've had too much alcohol. But they should help."

"Thanks" Simeon muttered.

He sat for a while, debating the method of death that An-Paj would select for him and shuddering at each thought. Death by fresher cleaning would probably be the preferred choice� "I know we've all been a bit funny out there and had too much to drink. I know we've all done stuff we're going to regret and I also know I'm not perfect. I clown about and people either treat me like I'm a half wit or an amusing buffoon." He paused to take a sip of water from a glass Leona handed to him. "But I want to do well. I want to pass my trials. And I do work hard. Even An-Paj would admit that. So surely I'm allowed some time away from here to hang loose and�"

"Misbehave?" Leona supplied.

"Have some fun!" Simeon answered. "Don't I deserve it? Don't we all deserve it?"

Leona thought about it for a while. "Simeon, nobody's saying that you don't work hard. Anyone could see that. You have a natural way with people and it comes across immediately. You'll make a wonderful healer once you have passed your trials. And," she smiled fondly; "I know how you've tried to keep an eye out for Dimallie. I had noticed and it's very appreciated, even if you did all conspire to rig the Corellian Deathmatch drinking game in the first cantina."

"Sorry." Cates shrugged.

"The thing is, when you have such an important duty like you have to the infirmary and your master, you can't afford to do anything that might affect other people adversely. I mean are you in any fit state to attend patients in another six hours like you're supposed to?"

"No," Simeon admitted.

"You see? That's what An-Paj was talking about. He doesn't for a moment want to see you miss out or not see your friends. Just because he doesn't drink very much doesn't mean that he's against alcohol. And he's not a control freak. A lot is expected of the healers in the infirmary. We have a big onus placed on our abilities and skills and it some times adversely affects our social lives and our relationships."

She sighed. "You're a good lad, Simeon, and one of the best padawans we've had in here in many a year. And because it's been an unusual evening and," she smiled at the thought of her date with Qui-Gon, "because I'm in a very good mood, I'm going to do something I wouldn't normally do."

She stood up and removed Qui-Gon's half-kilted robe before placing her hand on Simeon's shoulder. "What are you going to do?" Cates' voice went all trembly.

"I'm going to heal you and remove the toxins from your system." She looked surprised. "Why, what did you think I was going to do?"

Simeon nodded at her attire. "I did wonder." He swallowed.

Leona stared down at her outfit. "Sith!" she squealed. "I'd forgotten about that. Help me get it off!"

"WHAT?" Exclaimed Simeon in shock.

"I can't get the dress off! It's supposed to be skin tight but it feels like it's stuck to me!"

"I...can't do that! It wouldn't be right." Simeon turned red with embarrassment.

"I haven't got anything you haven't already seen on the female patients," Leona said pointedly.

"But you're not a patient, you're�Leona!"

"I'm not asking for a sponge bath, Simeon. I just want you to help me out of this dress."

"Heal me first," he pleaded. "I'll be no use otherwise."

"I can't have An-Paj see me dressed like this! What will he think?"

"He'll probably wonder if he's got room in his house for another wife," Simeon's smartmouth kicked in. "You can cover the dress up! I can't walk in a straight line without help. Please, Leona?"

Leona closed her eyes. "Okay. Healing first, dress later. But you really owe me one! It's bad enough having to stash your undies away."

*******

"He'll be alright, won't he?" Jemmiah asked in a quiet voice as An-Paj took a closer look at Obi-Wan.

"Was he breathing when you got him out?" the healer questioned her carefully.

She shook her head.

"He will be fine. I'm sure of it." An-Paj moved slightly out of the way to let Ferdi and Gethin move the padawan onto the repulsar stretcher. "And you've done rather well, even if I say so myself."

"I had to untie his bandages." Jemmy explained. "I couldn't get the water out of his lungs when his hands were strapped to his chest like that."

"Don't worry." An-Paj reassured her. "We'll set the bone knitters to work after we've made certain he's stabilized. You can be very proud of yourself. Considering you promised me you weren't going to move from your bed." Jemmiah shrugged. "Maybe it's just as well you did, under the circumstance. He would most certainly have drowned if you hadn't been there so perhaps we'll just put this down to some strange prompting of the Force, shall we?"

He eyed her shivering figure minus her dress and wondered how much of the shaking was from the cold and how much from relief and shock. "Healer Territ, lend this young lady your robe like the gentleman you are." An-Paj indicated his own robe laid over Kenobi's unconscious form on the stretcher. "I think she has need of it and if she were to walk into the infirmary with only the bandages and few scraps of clothing she has on at the present I think it might cause a bit of a stir."

"I personally think it's a look that suits her," Territ winked as he removed his robe and placed it over her shoulders.

"Gethin." Warned An-Paj.

"Sorry." He smiled. "Sula wouldn't have been so happy to hear me say that, would she?"

Obi-Wan groaned a watery groan. "He wouldn't be too happy either." An-Paj remarked, nodding at the afflicted apprentice. "Let's get them back in the infirmary before the heavens open and a giant meteorite lands on him, or an invisible plague of mutant vampire gnats try to drain him dry, or he starts hallucinating snakes again, or before the Force just gives up on him altogether�"

*******

"Stop making such a fuss!" Lilith shushed the over excited council member.

"It hurts!" screamed Mace.

"I'll bet it does." nodded Dex before bursting into tears of laughter. "Do you know that the healers take holo pics of this kind of thing? I guarantee that you will be their pin up for many, many months to come."

"Shut up! It REALLY hurts," Mace hissed, his eyes screwed up in pain.

"Do you think you can walk?" Qui-Gon asked, trying to stifle a smirk.

"Is that a serious question?" Windu yelled.

"How many spikes have gone in?" Krelo wondered.

"What, do you think I stopped to count them as I sat down?" Mace looked very, very unhappy. "Look, I have a rake stuck up my rear and all you guys can do is laugh at me."

"Okay, okay," Qui-Gon bent down. "I have a plan. Maybe we can unscrew the wooden handle�"

"Are you crazy?!?!" Mace moaned.

"How else are you going to fit in the turbo lift?" Qui-Gon asked in surprise.

"The turbo lift?" Dex shook his head. "Qui, we really ought to call out the healers�"

"We can't have people knowing we did all that�interfering with Quilan's hedges." Jinn growled. "If we call them out they'll know we were out in the gardens and they'll get rightfully suspicious."

"Should've thought about that before." Lilith straightened up.

"I notice you joined in." Qui-Gon was quick to point out.

"I never started it though. YOU did." She thrust a finger at him.

"You cut the head off Quilan's swan," he shot back at her.

"You were the one who decided to start carving up the foliage and laughing boy," she pointed at Windu, "was the one who started messing with the statues."

"It was you who�"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP A MOMENT AND DECIDE WHAT TO DO?" the impaled Mace shouted.

Qui-Gon bent over Mace and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's fine Mace. Everything is going to be fine." The pain-relieving Force wave that Qui-Gon sent to Mace left him out cold and on his side.

"Thank the gods." Lilith stared at Mace. "I never thought he'd shut up."

"I never did get the hang of that." Qui-Gon muttered. "Quick, lets try and find our way to the infirmary before he wakes up."

Quite what they were going to say if they got there, Qui-Gon wasn't sure�

*******

"I'm not going to ask you to stay put this time." An-Paj gave Jemmiah one of his 'I know what you're like' looks. "I'm working on the assumption that if I don't ask you to do something then you might actually do it."

"But Ben�" she started.

"Will be perfectly fine once we've had a good chance to sort him out properly and get those bones healed up." She looked utterly dejected. "You can see him again in a couple of hours." An-Paj reassured her, holding a mug of some steaming substance or other out to her.

She refused.

"I'm assuming that if Mace is back then Qui-Gon is also back. I'll see if I can't find someone to haul him in. Between the pair of you, you are costing that poor man more grey hairs than he can count."

"And they're only the ones we can see," Jemmy nodded sadly.

"Bed," An-Paj pointed with one finger.

Jemmiah huffed to herself and crossly sat on the bed. "Happy?" she asked.

"In," he continued to point.

"It's all hard and uncomfortable." She whacked her fists against the unyielding firmness of the sheets. "How much stiffening do you put in the washing? It's no wonder you healers are so miserable. It's all the starch in your Jedi underpants."

"Pull the covers up," he commanded.

"I need a crowbar just to prize them apart." Jemmiah complained. "And this night dress is horrible! It's so old fashioned. I couldn't let anyone see me in this. I look like my Aunt!"

An-Paj sighed. This would take a bit of deviousness. "Look, Jemmiah. I know this isn't ideal. You don't want to be here. Nobody wants to be here. But we are all here because there are sick people who need to heal and unfortunately you are one of them. Now, the sheets and pillows might not be up to the standard of establishments like the Lakeland Dream on Korrassi or the Birdsnest on Coruscant and on occasion the food might leave a little to be desired but you are tired and you need to rest. You're still shocky over what happened to Obi-Wan so I suggest that you at least try and get some sleep. Here." He handed her the hot drink. "It might help you relax."

"What is it?" she asked, surprised at his gentle tone.

"Cocoa."

"I'd be a poor Corellian if I refused that a second time." Jemmy took the mug gratefully.

The healer watched idly as she downed a fair amount of the liquid and smiled to himself. If he had to drug his patients into a good, long slumber then so be it. It wasn't anything more than a strong herbal substance that could be masked by the taste of the cocoa but it would be more than enough.

"Put the mug on the side table when you've finished." An-Paj smiled. "I'll be along later. And when I come back I expect to see you asleep."

Not that she had much of a choice now�

*******

"How do you feel?"

"Bright and beautiful," Simeon grinned.

"Hmm. One out of two ain't bad." Leona retorted. "Help me with this dress! Quickly now!"

Simeon gulped but knew that a deal was a deal. "You know, under any other circumstance I would be deliriously happy to help a lady out of her clothing," he mumbled. "Do you mind if I ask what you were doing with this in the first place?"

"It was Depa." Leona felt her annoyance (more at herself than anyone else) creep up on her. "She egged me on! Said I would suit it."

"Well," Simeon bit his lip as he tried to pull at the dress from the back of the neck; "I'll be honest with you. The color doesn't do much for you. And I think Master Jinn would have a fit."

"You think so?" Leona felt her heart sink.

"I know so. Qui-Gon likes sensible people. He has enough problems with excitable females where Jemmy's concerned. In fact, I can just see her in this dress."

"She can have it," Leona said. "My gift to her for setting me up with Qui-Gon."

Simeon smiled but tactfully said nothing. "I can't get this off," he grimaced. "Hang on a minute."

"I don't want it to tear," Leona replied.

"See if you can bend your head down a little�that's it!" Simeon breathed out.

Leona managed to get her head down under the neckline and one arm half way back in the shimmer-silk sleeve when the door burst open.

"Simeon!" a shocked voice exclaimed. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm helping Leona out of her dress, Master." Cates said respectfully.

An-Paj's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "There's a perfectly innocent explanation." Simeon added. "And I'll leave Leona to give it to you. I'm going to see to one or two things Master, before I turn in."

Cates bowed hurriedly and exited the room. An-Paj turned to the hunchbacked, headless figure in the short red dress. "If there's an explanation," he blinked, "I'm not sure I want to hear it."

*******

Simeon made his way over to the one person in Kenobi ward who could help him but to his surprise when he got there he found she was half-asleep. "Jemmy." He shook her gently on the arm.

"What is it, Simeon?" Jemmiah said with her eyes three-quarters closed.

"I need your address book."

"Huh?"

"Your address book."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"Go away then."

"Please? It's important."

"Tell me why."

"Because�if I do tell you won't say anything to anyone else?"

"If it'll make you go away then yes."

Simeon smiled the smile of a man who knew he had the upper hand.

*******

Qui-Gon had no clue as to how long it had taken the five of them, drunk as they were, to carry the stricken Mace (face down) to the infirmary. He couldn't even remember getting to the infirmary. Neither could anyone else. He assumed it was another collective bout of amnesia.

To say that the appearance of three masters, a knight and a smuggler -one of them with a gardening implement attached to a rather vulnerable spot- caused quite a stir would be an understatement of epic proportions.

"Would you like to take a seat whilst I fetch An-Paj?" Gethin snickered. "Or would that be inadvisable?"

"Very amusing." Qui-Gon remarked.

"I thought Dex was the temple rake." He took a good, long look at the injury. "How long's he been out?"

"Whenever the last time was that I had to knock him unconscious." Qui-Gon answered truthfully. "Cruel to be kind."

"I doubt he'll see it that way. Not when An-Paj gets the old rubber gloves on and has a good prod at the injury. Oh, here he is. The man himself."

An-Paj had never been the type to laugh at a patients misery but when he caught sight of the virtually naked Mace in such dire straits he very nearly broke his own rule. "What's this?" he asked, the mirth evident in his eyes. "Some kind of pole vault injury that went wrong?"

"He, er�had a bit of an argument with a rake." Dex smiled.

"And the rake won, by the look of it." An-Paj waved Gethin away with instructions to get a trolley. He peered closer at the injury. "My word. What a well worn piece of equipment."

"If you only knew the half of it," Lilith grinned.

"It's not the sort of injury you get in here every day. Not your 'common-or-garden' accident." He laughed at his own joke. "Who would have thought that going for a little night time stroll in the temple precinct would cause so much trouble?"

Qui-Gon, Dex and the others exchanged looks. "Why is there a piece of privet hedge in your hair?" An-Paj asked Qui-Gon.

"Is there?" Jinn frowned, snatching the tale tell piece of shrubbery away.

"I like gardening." An-Paj said fondly. "Good for the soul. And if I ever need somewhere to store my gardening tools," he pointed at Mace, "I'll know where to turn to. Right, Master Territ. We've a little extraction to attend to. Oh," he turned to Qui-Gon, "your padawan's coming out of theatre. The bone knitters have done their job and we've wrung nearly all the water out of him so I'd go visit him now before he wakes up. You know what he's like when he's conscious."

"Water?" frowned Qui-Gon.

"I'll tell you later."

The group watched as Mace was hauled away on the trolley, the long pole still sticking up his back like a strange aerial. "I've heard of people getting implants but this is ridiculous." An-Paj laughed as he disappeared into the turbo lift.

*******

An hour later and Qui-Gon had given in and gone home. Obi-Wan was fast asleep: there had been little point in hanging around and Jemmiah had been so tired he hadn't even managed to get more than a few words from her. He'd made his promises to visit when it grew light, although neither of them had been in a position to listen to him, and then pointedly stopped off to bid 'farewell' to Captain Demodae in the knowledge it would be many months before she returned to Coruscant.

Lilith paid him no heed. If he thought this was the end of it he had another think coming.

"Sleepytime,� yawned Dex. "Kryztan will think I've run off and left�" he suddenly faltered, remembering.

Krelo squeezed his arm. "You go home Dex. They've said Mace will be fine and there's no reason to stay. As you say, Kryztan will be concerned." She managed to say the words even though they made her grind her teeth.

"Thanks." He bent over and kissed her, forgetting that Lilith was watching from the side.

"Urgh." Lilith groaned. "That was sickening."

"Well, it'll have to do for now." Krelo stroked the side of Dex's cheek affectionately. "Go on, I'll see you later in the day."

"W-what? Aren't you two�you know. Going to, er�"

"No Lilith. We are not 'going to� you know'. Krelo replied. "Anyhow, you are my guest. I can't just leave you. I've said you can have the couch."

"Great," Lilith said with an artificial smile. "Just great."

"We can look at the holocam footage." Krelo suggested as they staggered over to the turbo lift. "We must have some good stuff on here."

"You bet." Lilith cheered up instantly at the thought. "That rake stuff�I am going to make a killing with this footage!"

"Lil!" warned Krelo.

"What?"

"If I find out you are making a profit out of this�"

"What?"

"I want to be cut in as well." Krelo managed to smile.

"So much for Jedi ethics."

The lift doors closed and Lilith rested her tall back against the wall. This was the end of a very interesting adventure. It almost left her a little sad to be leaving it behind yet at the same time it made her excited about the future. If she could just get that girl away from Qui-Gon� "I don't mind telling you, I am beat," she admitted.

"You're not as young as you used to be." Krelo watched as Lilith bridled at that remark. "You're hardly old. Far from it. But I think that's why you've been taking such an interest in young Jemmiah's welfare. You see a lot of you in her and it's flattering to think that she might go on to be just like you. But without all the mistakes you've made."

Lilith knew the remark held a certain degree of truth but wasn't prepared to own it. "I don't want anyone to have the life I've had," she answered mysteriously. "But I can look out for myself. And it's not as if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are going to be around forever to protect her, is it? She'll fly the nest one day and then she'll have to look out for herself. And I intend to make sure she learns from the expert."

"Leave Obi-Wan?" Krelo laughed. "You want to break the poor boy's heart?"

"If necessary," Lilith said brutally.

Krelo sighed and watched Lilith as she smuggler thought of stolen trips to the swoop tracks and the anticipated adventure that went with it. The knight placed the holochip back in the cam and set up the side screen, enabling she and Lilith to watch the goings on.

"Here goes," Krelo smiled. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Lilith walked to within inches of the screen and stared in anticipation.

They were met by nothing but static.

"What's going on?" Demodae frowned.

"I-I don't know." Krelo's puzzled voice answered her. "Not very much as far as I can tell."

"Is it all like this?" Lilith dreaded the reply.

Krelo used the cam wind to speed further on in the proceedings but each time they stopped it was the same white, fuzzy snowstorm as before.

"Noooo," wailed Lilith. "That is NOT fair. What have we done to deserve that?"

Krelo considered for a moment. "Stick around and I'll write you a list," she drawled.

*******

Jemmiah woke up feeling cold and miserable and alone. She was in the infirmary. Even her fogged brain could remember that. And the disinfectant, sterile smell that the place always reeked of would have given it away even if she had forgotten.

She wanted to go home to Evla's apartment and her own warm and comfortable bed, where the sheets didn't hold you down like flypaper. Ben would be somewhere here too. And if she was feeling cold and sorry for herself then imagine how he must be feeling�

Struggling to escape from the almost straightjacket-like bedding, Jemmy sat up and took a few moments to compose herself once again. She felt kinda woozy but nothing she couldn't cope with. All she had to do was to locate Obi-Wan. There didn't seem to be anyone about, but just because she couldn't see them didn't mean that they weren't there. An-Paj had caught her out before.

Mind you, she had been sleepwalking at the time�

He was in the bed at the far end. She could just about make him out from where she was. Wrapping the borrowed dressing gown around her, having discarded the hated nightdress (it was probably Ferdi's -ugh!) Jemmy slowly stole along the floor, her feet silently treading on the cold surface.

Brrrrrrrr! Was it freezing or what?

Poor Ben. He looked so innocent when he was asleep, without a care in the world. Somehow she didn't think she ever looked peaceful like that. She half wanted to wake him up and talk to him, the other half wanting to just let him rest.

In the end, the need for sleep won.

Jemmiah pulled the privacy curtain quietly round them again and placed a hand on his cheek. He was as cold as a block of ice!

"Move over, Ben," she yawned. "We can keep each other warm. I think it's about as close to each other as we are going to get in a while." Slipping beneath the covers and wrapping the sleeping padawan in an embrace, Jemmiah fell asleep almost instantly.

*******

FIVE HOURS LATER:

"Yes," An-Paj was saying to Simeon, "apparently Gilda Amaline and Yaddle were out of their wits with worry. They reported their padawans as missing. Can you believe that?"

"Master, knowing Jay Abran anything is possible. Where did they turn up?"

"Would you believe in the gardens?" The healer remarked with a smile. "All curled up together. Abran, Imri and Sal-Fina's padawan all together in a heap."

"Didn't Sal-Fina report Ambianca missing?" Simeon frowned.

"They found her in the gardens almost the same time they found the others. And that's not all they found." An-Paj laughed. "Poor Master Quilan very nearly expired when he saw what had happened to the gardens."

"What, Master?"

"Somebody decided to do a spot of late night plant reshaping with the aid of their lightsabre."

"You think it was Jay and the others?" Simeon grew wide-eyed.

"It would be the logical conclusion. Except there is rather a lot of evidence that points in another direction. I should know. I spent a lot of last night surgically removing it. Which reminds me," An-Paj clapped Simeon on the shoulder," If Master Quilan comes in looking for his rake, tell him to collect it at the desk."

"Rake?"

"Correct, Padawan. And I have to say that I am really impressed with the way that you have managed to handle yourself after last night. I expected tears and vomit before bedtime, but no. In fact, I am so impressed with you that I�" An-Paj wondered if maybe he were hallucinating through lack of sleep. Then he realized that was definitely wishful thinking.

Jemmiah's bed was empty.

AGAIN.

"Do I have to tie that girl to the bed with ropes?" his eyes narrowed.

"Have you been listening to Obi-Wan's favorite things?" Simeon asked him.

"Where is she?" An-Paj followed a seemingly invisible trail from the empty bed, along the floor and over to the other side of the room where the privacy curtain was pulled along side Kenobi's bed.

The healer was struck by the utter temerity of the girl. "Right. This is war." An-Paj rolled up his sleeves.

The pair of them strode over to Obi-Wan's bedside, An-Paj like an avenging angel and Simeon the little demon on his shoulder rubbing his hands. This time the healer didn't even bother to count down from three, tearing the curtain right back.

"I think Qui-Gon is going to kill me if he ever finds out about this." An-Paj remarked as he looked down on the sleeping couple as they lay entwined in each other's embrace.

"I think Jay's just lost his bet," Simeon gloated.

"What bet?" An-Paj asked dubiously.

"Nothing, Master. Absolutely nothing."

An-Paj was momentarily at a loss what to do. "Right Missy. You're coming along with me." He said eventually, trying to scoop up the restful figure.

"Can't we just leave them like that, Master? They look very happy. He-he!" Simeon added a meaningful snicker.

"No we can not! What would Qui-Gon say?"

"It's very cold you know. The heating system's on the blink again and they have to keep warm somehow."

"Padawan," growled An-Paj.

"I'll go and make you some stim tea, shall I Master?" Simeon didn't wait for the answer.

He ran straight to the nearest holoterminal and put in a call to Jay Abran's apartment. "Simeon." Gilda regarded him in an unfriendly manner. "If you're looking for Jay I'm afraid he is indisposed for the next three years."

"Oh," Cates frowned, "in that case perhaps you could pass on a message."

"I suppose I could." Gilda agreed reluctantly. "What is it?"

"Tell him he lost his other bet as well."

"Bet?" snorted Gilda. "And what bet would this be?"

"Oh, he'll know what I'm talking about." Simeon grinned. "I'll be round tonight to pick up my winnings. Good day, Master Amaline."

It certainly was now!

*******

Jemmiah awoke to find herself back in her own bed. And with Qui-Gon sitting on the chair next to her. "You're awake," he smiled.

"Oh, Sith. It's the grim reaper come to collect me. Go away."

"Pardon?" Jinn looked non-plussed.

"You've come to kill me for all the horrible things I've done over the last two days. Like shaving off your beard and getting you drunk and escaping from the infirmary�"

She was amazed when she heard him burst into laughter. "You also managed to set me up on a date with Healer Leona."

"Sorry about that."

"Which although I didn't exactly expect to happen when I set out last evening I am not entirely ungrateful for."

"Oh," Jemmy nodded.

"And I hear that you saved Obi-Wan's life last night."

"I wasn't going to let him drown," she muttered.

"Even so."

Jemmiah dared to look into his blue eyes and hope� "Does that mean I'm forgiven?" she asked.

"Well, that depends," he leaned in closer.

"On what?"

Qui-Gon paused. "Tell me where you've hidden that holochip."

"Can't," she said.

"Can't or won't?"

"Both."

"Jemmiah, I can make things very unpleasant for you."

"That sounds like a threat," she scowled.

"It is."

Jemmy twisted her hair round her finger for a moment whilst she considered what to say. "How about I tell the council who destroyed Master Quilan's garden?" she countered.

"That sounds like blackmail. I didn't bring you up to resort to that sort of skullduggery." Qui-Gon's face registered disapproval.

"No, I wasn't brought up to it but I am Corellian. It's sorta in the genes." She shrugged. "But I'll do a deal with you. I'll give you a clue as to where it is and if you find it you can do what you want with it."

Qui-Gon was surprised at that one. "That's very generous," he smiled. "I accept your offer. What's the clue."

Jemmy smiled and fluttered her eyelids flirtatiously. "I buried it."

"In the gardens?" Qui-Gon paled.

"Guess." Jemmy folded her arms. "That's all you're getting out of me. Happy hunting!"

A cough from behind Qui-Gon alerted him to the presence of Dex Berlingside.

"Morning." Jinn grimaced.

"Is it? Maybe you won't think that once I've told you we've been summoned by Yoda to go round for a little chat."

"What for?"

"Things that go 'Zum' in the night." Dex pulled a face. "I think maybe the give away was the fact that Mace had a rake stuck to his bootie."

"What's this?" Jemmy asked.

"And also the fact that when Mace did that effigy of Yoda he actually signed his own name in the bushes with his lightsabre. Now call me dumb but MACE WAS HERE is a biggie as far as clues go, wouldn't you say?"

"The imbecile!" hissed Qui-Gon.

"I don't think I helped." Dex shuffled his feet guiltily.

"How?"

"I kinda etched SO WAS QUI-GON into the shrubs as well."

Qui-Gon stood up and looked as if he were about to lynch his best friend. "Listen, I was dead drunk!" Dex held up his hands.

"Now you're just going to be dead!" Jinn snapped.

"He knows about the arrests, too."

"How!"

"The doctor whose bag Mace borrowed enquired at the temple as to where we'd left it."

"No, please! This is a nightmare."

"It could be worse," Jemmiah tried to console him, "you could be stuck in here."

"That's where we'll be after Yoda's done with us." Qui-Gon said glumly. "And that reminds me. I have a message from An-Paj. He says he's sorry about the night dress you had to wear for some of last night but that you don't ever have to wear it again."

"I can go home?" Jemmy's face lit up with hope.

"No." Qui-Gon reached into the travel bag he had with him besides the chair. "I brought you this to wear instead. He wants you in for another night."

*******

Jemmy spent the next four hours twiddling her thumbs with nothing better to do with her time than watch Simeon gallop up and down the ward like a demented Nerf. There was a distinctly evil glint to the mischievous dark eyes and Jemmy well knew the reason for it.

"It worked then?" she asked as Simeon paused for a moment's break by her bed. "Does that mean I get my address book back?"

"Here." Cates delved into his pocket and then tossed it to her. "With considerable gratitude. In fact it would appear that I owe you quite a lot at the moment."

"How do you mean?" Jemmy asked, not certain she liked the leer that was now spreading over his face. "What have I done?"

"Well, you know." Simeon made some vague gesture with his hands symbolizing Sith only knew what.

Except that it looked very rude. "What?" Jemmy replied in exasperation.

"We saw the pair of you together�in the same bed."

Jemmy sat bolt upright. "Who is we?" she demanded.

"An-Paj and myself. Looks like someone had a good evening." He smirked. "I don't know how you had the nerve�in the middle of a hospital ward! With other patients only a curtain away!"

"I didn't do anything!" Jemmiah snapped. "He was cold. I was trying to warm him up!"

"That's what I said!" Simeon beamed.

"No, you cretin! We just�hugged each other. He was asleep, for Sith's sake!"

"That wouldn't stop him," Simeon frowned.

"Take it from me Simmy, I prefer people who at least look like they are alive and showing some interest."

"Then you didn't�"

"No!"

"Hell, Sith and damnation!" Simeon looked like he was about to drop on his knees. "Don't repeat that to Jay! Please?"

"Repeat what? Cates, have you been sniffing Drek? I don't understand."

Simeon lowered his voice and got as close to her ear as possible. "Erm�you may or may not know about a certain bet that certain people made regarding certain other persons and certain�activities, if you see what I mean."

"Simeon, the only thing that's certain is that I'm going to strangle you with the belt off my dressing gown. Explain so that I might comprehend."

Simeon blinked. "I thought I just did" he protested. "Okay. Try this. Jay Abran had a bet that you and Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to sneak off at some point in the proceedings and get up to severely naughty stuff."

"I knew about it." Jemmy confessed. "Sybelle told me before we left."

"Well, Obi-Wan sort of knew about it too towards the end of the evening and when he found out that Jay was standing to make a lot of money out of him not�you know�he decided he'd have to prove him wrong."

"WHAT?" Jemmy asked in disbelief.

"He was going to look for you so that you could, er, spend some time together." Simeon grinned sheepishly under the fierce Corellian gaze.

"Was he indeed!" Jemmy crossed her arms. "Well, I shall have to see about that! Jay won his bet then?"

"No�not exactly. You see, I kinda thought I'd tell him that I saw you two in bed together and then I'd collect."

"You had a bet too?" Jemmy growled.

"Awwww, c'mon Jem! Everyone knows you're both mad about each other. What does it matter?"

"You are making money from me. That's what matters." Jemmy dug her nails in her hands. "I'm sick of people making money out of me!"

"Calm down." Simeon tried to placate her. "He doesn't have to know. His own terminology was ambiguous to say the least. He said 'end up in bed together'. Well, you did! He doesn't need to know that nothing went on. That way you keep your honor and Jay loses his bet."

Jemmiah nodded. "That'll teach Abran." She hissed, pointing at Obi-Wan. "And then I'll sort him out!"

"As for the other matter," Simeon laughed, "I've got it well in hand."

"And when do we see the results?" Jemmy calmed down almost instantly.

"In the next few moments, if all goes according to plan." Simeon looked sublimely happy. "I have to say, this is one of my better ones."

"Hmmm." She laughed. "I doubt he'll see it that way. Heard anything from Meri?"

"Sick."

"Kylenn?"

"Sick."

"Letina?"

"Sick."

"Sybelle?"

Simeon paused for a moment. "Well," he screwed up his face, "let me see�.um�.sick?"

"It was a good night, wasn't it?"

"Best yet." Simeon grinned. "And you'll be out of here as soon as that infection in your leg clears up, ready and willing to cause yet more damage to livers all over the temple�"

"I'll drink to that," Lilith's voice boomed from behind Simeon.

Jemmy's face lit up. "Hi Lil. How's it going?" she drawled.

"Hi kid." Lilith put a hand to her back. "I've had more comfortable mornings. Take some advice: if Krelo ever offers to put you up for the evening on the sofa- don't."

"Why are you here?" Jemmy asked.

Both females turned to Cates at the same time. "Goodbye, Simeon!" they both said.

"Okay, okay!" The padawan shrugged, still smiling. "Stick around and watch the fireworks!"

"Will do." Jemmy acknowledged with a wink.

Lilith watched him leave. "He likes you," she said bluntly.

"Everyone likes me," Jemmiah answered. "I'm wonderful. Seriously, it's not all great. I sometimes wish I looked like a Hutt, then I might not get so much attention."

"You mean unwanted attention like that Harkley kid," Lilith sniffed. "I told you. If he so much as looks at you in a funny way just inform Krelo and she'll�"

"Yeah." Jemmy started to play with her butterfly hair clasp. "I remember. Anyhow, what ARE you doing here?"

Lilith looked directly at her. "Come to say goodbye. I lift ship this morning and I won't be around for a few months I shouldn't imagine. Officially, that is. But," Lilith's grin took on a sneaky tinge; "If I happened to look in on the swoop track and take in a couple of races�see how my prot�g� is getting along, that might be a different matter."

"Don't say that to Qui-Gon," Jemmy muttered.

"What, you think I've got rocks in my head?" Lilith laughed. "Half the fun is sneaking about behind the old guy's back and getting away with it, don't you think?"

"I think he's got enough to worry about at the moment as it is." Jemmy put the clasp back into her chestnut hair. "Something about trashing the gardens, was it?"

"Really?" Lilith began to look uncomfortable.

"And lots of credits worth of damage?" she looked at the smuggler.

"Er�yeah."

"Dex and Master Jinn are in there right now speaking to Yoda. I'm sure if anyone can get to the bottom of things it's him."

"Right kid, I can't be hanging around like this." Lilith stood up, plainly in a hurry. "Places to go, people to see. Remember to fly those swoops real mean. I might be watching some time."

"I will." Jemmy reached over and hugged her. "Take care."

"See you around kid." Lilith saluted the girl with a lazy flick of her black leather gloves before turning smartly on her heel and walking with big, Corellian strides towards the door.

And as one figure exited, another entered�

Hmiol had been lying in his own bed, asleep and dreaming a really strange dream about drinking and burning down bars and copious amounts of vomit. Not the usual sort of dreams he had. When he got to the state of semi-consciousness he began to realize that it might not have been a dream after all. Vague memories of being picked up and bodily thrown through the air hailed him, some weird idea that his master had been hurt and that a few people who had been on the cantina crawl had also�

The cantina crawl.

It hadn't been a dream after all. He HAD burned down that bar. He HAD been hurt in that fight. He HAD spent the night being harassed by giant Wookiee paws and he WAS going to be thrown out of the temple for all the damage he had caused.

Maybe if he didn't open his eyes he wouldn't have to admit that it had all happened.

He gingerly put a hand to the tender area of his stomach and could feel the heat from the injury, recently healed but giving no pain or discomfort. The Bacta was still fresh in his mouth and the antiseptic smell from the floors very strong indeed. All of which only served to remind him of why he was here.

Still, as long as he had his health�

There was some other smell he couldn't quite place. It was familiar but it was eluding him for the moment. A sort of warm, furry hair smell,

And then on his forehead he felt long, coarse strands of hair brush down on him.

It awakened a very disturbing memory indeed. He really, really hoped this was a dream�

His eyes snapped open.

"GRRRRROWWWARRRRRRR!" the voice that went with the arm hailed him.

Hmiol sat up in his bed, pushed aside the Wookiee arm and screamed.

Simeon stood at the other end of the room and closed his eyes in satisfaction at the thought of another score settled.

When it came to pointless revenge, nobody did it better than him.

*******

Jemmiah had soon tired of the entire hullabaloo surrounding Hmiol and his visitor and decided that now was the right time to plan her own small revenge against the dozing Obi-Wan. But what to do? She could always put one of his socks in his mouth she supposed, but then she'd already done that and she never liked to play the same trick more than once.

What would make him regret his actions the most? What would be the best form of vengeance? Not vengeance, she amended. She didn't feel as angry towards him now as she had when Simeon had first let her know of his motives that evening. All the same, it would be up to her to teach him a lesson�

And then she saw it.

Walking over towards Obi-Wan's bed, Jemmy grabbed hold of the object that would help her educate the padawan in how NOT to behave.

"Hey," she said gently as she kissed the apprentice on the cheek. "You awake?"

"Hmmm." Obi-Wan sighed. "I was having the most amazing dream." His lashes fluttered open and revealed the familiar blue eyes that Jemmy had come to adore.

"What about?"

"I dreamt that we were in the gardens and you were only wearing the underwear that I gave you." He yawned a yawn worthy of a Rancor.

"That wasn't a dream," Jemmy said flatly. "Don't you remember?"

He looked uncertain. "How could that be real?" he asked. "Why would you be in the gardens without your clothes?"

"Because some idiot padawan fell into a fountain and had to be resuscitated. Is it coming back to you?"

"No."

"I had to perform the kiss of life." She remarked as Obi-Wan squirmed. "Then I had to sit on you and thrash you. And then I had to strip off and give you my dress to keep you warm."

"And I missed all that?" Obi-Wan looked upset.

"You were darned lucky it didn't end up on holochip." Jemmy poked him in the stomach with a long fingernail.

Obi-Wan reached for one of her hands. "So that means you saved my life?" He smiled.

"Temporarily, yes," she agreed. "Until Qui-Gon catches up with you."

"You know how to say all the right things." Obi-Wan's face fell.

"I do? Well, how about I remind you about how we spent most of the early hours in bed together."

"WHAT?" Obi-Wan has the appearance of a man stunned by a Nerf prod. "I missed that as well?"

"You'll never know what went on between us," sighed Jemmy, enjoying torturing him.

"That's not fair! Why can't I remember?"

"I know! And I'm the one with the concussion! Still, you did all right out of it. You won your little bet with Jay."

Obi-Wan swallowed. "Ah," his face a curious mixture of several emotions at once, "I didn't actually have a bet with Jay."

"It just spurred you on into action, did it?" Jemmy asked.

"Well�" Kenobi flinched. "Look, I know my behavior wasn't perhaps very gentlemanly in that respect and I apologize but�"

"Doesn't matter." Jemmy said airily, brushing his pigtail teasingly down his nose and chin.

"It doesn't?" he asked. "But I thought you'd be as mad as hell."

"I was. I'm not any more," came back Jemmy's reply.

"You really don't mind?" he asked.

"I said so, didn't I?" Jemmiah smiled. "I'm going back to bed. I'll see you in a little while. Just get better soon so that we can misbehave in a way you might recollect next tine."

Bending over to kiss his head, Jemmy could tell that not being able to remember the non-event between them that morning was just about killing him with frustration. The frown lines were almost etched in his face as she turned to walk back to her own bed.

But what would really finish him off, what would really turn him into a despairing wreck was the sign that she had stolen from the bottom of someone else's bed and which now hung at the end of his own, proclaiming in giant black lettering the ultimate in Kenobi torture:

NIL BY MOUTH

And if Obi-Wan couldn't remember the night before, he would never forget the morning after for as long as he lived.