A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


An hour later, Spider finally remembered the private codes to her apartment and both she and Rela stumbled inside. "It's dark." Rela commented.

"The lights aren't on," Spider replied. "I don't want to frighten my Dinkos."

"They�they're in here?" Rela swallowed. "In this room?"

"Not all of them. I have ten others in my bedroom. Only the anti-social ones live in here."

"Great, that makes me feel heaps better," Rela said dryly.

"Come into the living area and I'll put the lighting up a few points. It's only my lizards in there."

"Wonderful!" Rela grimaced.

When the lights finally came on, Rela was rather surprised at the neatness of the place. She'd imagined that because of the sheer numbers of creatures involved the state of the apartment would be somewhat cluttered at best and rather grimy. Instead it was immaculately clean and spotless, with large glass tanks right against the far wall. Some kind of lizardy thing inhabited one of them, its tail wrapped round the bark of a long tree branch. It eyed Rela disinterestedly before shooting out an enormous tongue and knocking off a locust type insect that had been happily minding its own business.

"Urgh!" Rela pulled a face.

"He likes you." Spider smiled as she made up a drink with some soluble headache tablets added to it.

"How can you tell?" Rela wondered.

"He tries to bite through the glass if he doesn't care for you."

Rela took a large step back.

"I'm just going to put my Dinko back in with the others. I won't be a moment," Spider said in a tired voice. "Then I'll see if I can't look out some blankets for the couch."

"I thought you said the anti social ones lived in here?" Rela asked.

"They do. He's very friendly."

"After what he did to Sal-Fina's finger?"

"That was just being playful. If he'd meant business she would really have known about it."

As Spider left her by herself Rela wondered if maybe it would have been smarter to walk the extra distance to her house. The place may well have been clean and tidy but it sill gave her the creeps. Everywhere she looked Rela was met by yet another pair of sparkling eyes. And the most peculiar sound was coming from a small tank in the corner. A sort of chirping noise�

"What is that?" Rela said outloud as she drew nearer. "Do I even want to know?"

Very, very slowly Rela sidled up to the tank. If she was going to have to spend the night in this place she had better learn what she was cohabiting with. The chirping sound got very loud.

"Bugs," she exclaimed. "Lots of creepy crawly things with legs. Yuck! At least if you get out I can't see much of a problem."

The greeny-yellowy insects seemed to stare up at her. "Forget what I said. Don't even think of getting loose, okay? And must you make so much noise? I'm gonna have to ask Spider for ear plugs at this rate."

Spider came back armed with a big bundle of rolled up linen. "This should do you. It's getting colder at night so I've given you an extra blanket...what's wrong?" she asked as she noticed Rela's distracted look.

"What are they?" The red head pointed at the tank. "They're sure noisy little critters."

"Lunch," Spider remarked.

Rela wondered if she'd heard correctly. "Sorry?" she asked.

"Lunch,� repeated Spider. "For the lizards."

Rela's was filled with complete revulsion. "You're going to feed them to your lizards?" she asked. "But that's monstrous!"

"A lizard's got to eat," Spider said in surprise.

"But it's like sitting on a death row, waiting to be shot at dawn!" Rela protested. "I can't sleep with that noise knowing that's about to happen to them!"

"They're happy enough. Listen to them."

Rela tried to block out the sound of the contented chirping and failed miserably. "Why are they so darned happy?" she grumbled.

"Because they DON'T know what's going to happen to them!" Spider said evilly.

"You are sick."

"Thanks. Want a drink of tea?"

"Yes please," Rela said uncomfortably.

"What kind? I've got stim, Korrassi Blossom, Corellian Grey, Crunchy Frog�"

"Pardon?" Rela demanded.

"Joke."

"Stim's fine." Rela sat down carefully on the sofa, pulling the cushions away incase something nasty with numerous legs and eyes should be lurking there. "I could do with being a little more awake. We've got this to watch."

Spider looked at her friend in astonishment as Rela produced a small holochip from her pocket and held it up for inspection. "What's that?" Spider yawned.

"Our entertainment." Rela felt her face cleave into a huge smile. "Jemmiah asked me to take care of it just before she left to go back. Said she didn't trust anyone with it and didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands."

"So she gave it to you?" Spider said in disbelief.

"Yeah. Poor trusting fool. Boy was she ever wrong!" Rela rubbed her hands. "Got something we can play this on?"

"Too right!" Spider suddenly felt more awake than she had been in a long, long time. "Give it here."

The stim tea was suddenly forgotten and all thoughts of noisy locusts, spare bedding and crunchy frogs were instantly banished. Spider placed the chip in her holo player and then threw herself down on the seat beside Rela, hugging a cushion to her whilst they waited to relive the highlights of the cantina crawl.

There was a short burst of static and then a very familiar face appeared.

"Hello? Oh, I can never operate these damned things. Wait a sec�that's it. Right!" Jemmiah looked directly at the pair of them. "I expect you've both taken this chip home to play at your own leisure when I said that under no circumstances were you to look at it for the time being. Did you really think that even with a concussion I would be stupid enough to give you the real holo chip? What kind of poor trusting fool do you take me for?

For your information, I have the original chip safe and sound and in my possession as I speak. Quite what I'm going to do with it I really don't know yet.

And Rela, if you're at Spider's place I have one word of warning." Jemmiah's eyes seemed to be lit up with a different class of devilment. "Beware of -"

The picture cut off.

"Beware of what? BEWARE OF WHAT?!?!" demanded Rela.

"She's just trying to scare you." Spider shook her head in admiration.

"It's damn well working!" Rela hissed.

Behind her the crickets all started to chirp very loudly indeed. "Oh, shut up!" Rela spat.

*******

How Jemmiah had managed to sneak out whilst everyone was busy she would never understand fully, but she suspected that it had something to do with the fact that An-Paj and Ferdi were attending to the extremely ill and that Dimallie had been given the instruction to mind the ward. If it had been anyone else on duty Jemmiah wasn't sure she'd have managed it.

But she had.

Now she found herself trying to locate a suitable place to bury the chip. Somewhere reasonably dry, where the elements could not damage the contents of the little casket that had once served as a jewelry box. Jemmy was sorry to part with it even though she had three more far better but it was the only thing remotely suitable. And it was watertight, airtight and just about every thing tight you could imagine.

The trees. Nobody ever disturbed them�

Smiling; Jemmy started the walk through the water garden, past the fountains and towards the line of magnificent old trees that were in her favorite spot in the garden. She often visited here, to relax and think and�er�entertain company.

It was very dark and quiet. Her legs were beginning to hurt something fierce and her head was hardly in any better shape but Jemmiah doggedly continued with her quest. As she walked over the lawn she noticed what appeared to be a rake lying on the grass and dodged it at the last moment.

Could have been nasty, she thought.

An-Paj would go completely banoodly when he found out she'd managed to go walkabout yet again. She always contrived to irritate him whenever she had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of some treatment. It was her way of making him know what suffering was like.

Still, she didn't like to do it, not this time. Not with Hmiol and Biwo in such a state.

Better make this quick, she thought to herself.

As if the gods had been listening to her she spotted a hand fork on the grass not far from her chosen spot. Heightening her sense of justification, Jemmiah picked up the little gardening implement and limped swiftly away. The trick she had played on Rela and Spider was still foremost in her mind. She knew Rela would never be able to resist bait like that.

Did they really think she was that naive?

What she was doing would put the darned thing out of circulation, or at least it would lead people to think that it was gone for good. Only she would know the true resting-place of the original holochip.

The copy she had taken whilst waiting to be attended at the infirmary was quite another matter.

Yes, she could just picture Rela's discomfort caused by her last statement.

"Beware of-"

That had been a masterstroke on her part. If they had gone back to Spider's place the red head would be up all night now wondering what she was to beware of. For those not used to Dinkos, lizards, reptiles, snakes, arachnids and bugs a night at Spider's house could prove most daunting. There was nothing specific to be wary of, except the most powerful enemy of all.

The imagination.

Rela would never work that out!

Jemmiah carefully got down on her side and began to dig. She'd only been at her messy task for a couple of minutes when she heard the sound of an approaching temple bus landing on the pad nearest to the gardens. That was one thing she had not expected. Of all the landing pads available to the temple the least frequently used was this one. It struck her that the reason they were using this one was because it would disturb fewer people. Probably including Yoda.

Great, now she would have to hurry. She couldn't afford to be caught out here with soil on her hands. Jemmiah gave an involuntary shiver.

The cantina crawlers were back.

*******

Qui-Gon tried fruitlessly for several moments to persuade his legs to move him down the ramp and even when they had conceded to do so it was with more of a lurch than the kind of flowing elegance expected of a Jedi Master. Like Vernice's party, that last round of drinks had been a killer.

Dex had cajoled, no insisted, that they partake of one final round and now they were all suffering the after effects of Berlingside's typical generosity. Sal-Fina couldn't stop giggling and clung to Dex for her dear life, Qui-Gon noted with a frown. Dex himself didn't seem too unhappy except by the way he would occasionally wrinkle his nose as if at some unpleasant smell. Mace had a seemingly permanent grin on his face as if he'd been stunned in a hit-and-run speeder accident. Lilith swayed a little, her face a tad flushed and red but appeared more or less unscathed, as did Krelo.

And him?

He was absolutely fine.

Of course he was.

Of course�

Who was he trying to kid?

His legs were doing that rubber-boned thing, one wanting to go one way and the other in the opposite direction entirely. When they did agree to work the same way it was only so they could knock together at the middle. Even in his drunken state Qui-Gon could easily appreciate the indignity of it all. He was just glad the others were similarly affected.

Qui-Gon wondered momentarily about Far Biwo and his padawan, hoping their condition was much improved since they had last met. And Leona�he was immensely pleased at the way things were progressing on that front. He'd gone to the cantina crawl to partake of the odd drink in companionable friendship and had ended up with a date. His lips twitched in a smile. He really had spent too long without female company and found himself looking forward to tomorrow quite eagerly. Imagine someone of his advanced years getting giddy and excited at the prospect of some romance.

Immediately his poor idiot padawan and his equally idiotic former ward sprung to mind. The pair of them together� It just made him squirm.

When Obi-Wan had inadvertently given away his feelings for Jemmiah it had quite literally shocked him enough to have to sit down, reeling. Now a few months later he was still no happier about than he was initially, only the shock element was missing. Something nagged at him to split them up. And just as powerfully, something warned him not to.

Rela's words had calmed and placated him a little but his gut instinct was still to feel squeamish at the idea. He'd followed his own heart with Sal-Fina all those years ago and look where it had got him�

He remembered vaguely his promise to murder both of them come the morning but in his present condition decided to delay the execution until they were able to appreciate it more.

"What the heck?" Lilith murmured as she caught sight of once more of the metallic lumpy thing strapped to her bosom. "Hey. Kre, I forgot about your fancy, high-powered butter knife. Want it back?"

"Didn't you see the strange looks you were getting from the other people in that last cantina?"

"Ah, they probably thought I was wearing my metal bikini again," Lilith said dismissively.

"You have a metal bikini?" Dex's eyes rounded like a child in a candy store.

"Only for display," the smuggler admitted.

"If you ever feel like displaying yourself in it, just let me know," Mace said happily.

Sal-Fina giggled far too loudly, clinging on so tightly to Dex's arm that he feared the circulation might be cut off. They staggered towards the door at the far end of the pad with the aim of taking the turbo lift to their own apartments. Lilith was certain she could persuade Krelo to bunk in with Dex whilst she could have the much more comfortable king sized bed, big enough for her tall frame to sleep diagonally if she so wished.

Krelo imagined Dex would be too concerned about his padawan's recent behavior to get up to anything too distracting and decided that she would sleep in her own bed and put Lilith up on the sofa in the living quarters.

Dex wasn't very happy at the thought of explaining to an amorous Krelo just precisely why the doctor thought he shouldn't be sleeping in anyone's bed except his own�

Lost in thought, it came as something of a surprise when the six of them suddenly found themselves wandering aimlessly round the temple gardens.

"Where are we?" Dex asked. "How did we get here?"

"Must've taken a wrong turn." Mace grinned.

"Has the lift stopped?" Dex questioned.

"Did we even get in the lift?" Krelo put a hand up to her head.

"Maybe we had a group blackout." Qui-Gon sighed.

"A what?" Lilith frowned. "What's one of them?"

"A collective loss of memory," Jinn explained as if to a particularly dense child.

"Never heard of it. I think you just made it up to look clever," Lilith answered.

"At least I CAN look clever,"he replied childishly.

"Appearances can be deceiving, Nerf-brains."

Sal-Fina giggled and nearly fell over, Dex catching her at the last minute. "If we can just stop and think for a moment," Qui-Gon glared, "we might actually get somewhere. Now, if we retrace our steps we should in theory find ourselves�"

"�Even more lost than we are now," Lilith retorted sharply. "I will find a way back to the lift. Corellians are notoriously good at navigating round strange places."

"Strange place?" Jinn groused. "This is the Jedi Temple!"

"Precisely."

Lilith barged past the beaming Mace and the confused Dex, trying to lead by example. She wasn't joking about her navigational prowess although her considerable consumption of alcohol had not done her any favors at all, but above everything else she was desperate to prove herself a better commander than Qui-Gon, even at something as trivial as locating a turbo lift.

"It's this way," she said in an authoritative tone of voice. Like a zombified flock of Nerfs they all followed her through the darkness, desperately looking for something that would help them back, some clue or landmark that might assist them in their quest.

Lilith continued to walk. And walk. And then walk some more�

If she didn't stop walking then she wouldn't have to admit she was wrong, and utterly and helplessly lost. How many times had she been to the Temple? It was a fair few in truth, but never in the gardens. Never at night. She didn't call that a very fair stack of the deck.

"I thought you said Corellians could navigate�" Qui-Gon began with more than a measure of smugness to his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what I said. But I never took one vital thing into account."

"Which is?"

"I'm very slightly tipsy."

"There are two other Corellians in our party," Qui-Gon pointed out. "That's not helped us much either."

"That's because Krelo and Dex are more than very slightly tipsy." Lilith didn't even look at him as she marched onwards. "Don't worry, Qui-Gon. I'll make sure you remain in one piece for Leona tomorrow night."

Sal-Fina tittered, and once again Dex hauled her up onto her feet. Mace smiled happily and pointed into the next garden. "Trees!" he said in a cheery voice.

"Yes, Mace. That's what they are. You learn quickly don't you?" Krelo chuckled.

Qui-Gon held up a silencing hand at the front of the group but everyone just ignored him and kept on walking. "Listen." He replied huffily. "Can you hear that?"

Dex and the others strained their ears, to look as if they were paying attention. Even though it was perfectly obvious what Qui-Go was referring to. "Bus!" Mace exclaimed ecstatically.

"The pilots are just moving the transport to another pad. So what?" Krelo wondered.

"It means that another bus must be coming in to land on our pad." Qui-Gon answered glibly pleased at being able to show off his knowledge in front of Lilith.

"Why?"

"Same reason as us, I should think. Which means�"

"The other cantina crawlers." Dex nodded.

"Including my errant padawan." Jinn grimaced slightly. "Who's going to wish he'd never been born by the time I've finished with him. The contents of that letter still make me shudder."

"It's the contents of that packet I'd be more worried about." Krelo smiled.

"Boys will be boys, huh?" Dex agreed.

"Yes," Jinn replied. "But NOT with my girl!"

Sal-Fina giggled again, and this time Dex didn't bother to stop her falling.

"I almost think I liked her better before she got drunk." Qui-Gon shook his head sadly before he and the others walked away, leaving Sal-Fina snoring happily beneath the stars.

*******

An-Paj sat down in the chair in his private inner sanctum. His own little private den within the infirmary where he could retreat and leave behind the cares of the day, albeit temporarily. Nothing could disturb him in here. Nothing at all�

The sound of a metallic bucket being kicked over, followed shortly after by a frustrated and apologetic voice outside his door sadly intruded on his own little haven. Scratch the idea of peace and quiet, he thought to himself. The bucket was picked up, only for the mop that was propped up beside it to fall down and hit the floor.

"Come in, Dimallie,"sighed An-Paj.

Dimallie entered looking sheepish and somewhat distressed, judging by the way she was wringing her hands. "How�how is Master Biwo, Sir?" she asked timidly. "Will he be alright?"

"Yes," An-Paj smiled at her warmly, "he will make a full recovery. It will come as a great relief to many."

"Indeed, Master An-Paj." Dimallie's anxiety seemed to abate only briefly, "And what of Padawan Hmiol?"

"He is also on the road to recovery. His injuries were not as severe as we first thought. Another few hours in Bacta and he'll be in his own bed on Kenobi ward."

"And you sir? Are you not tired?"

"Thank you for the concern." An-Paj felt gratitude for her compassion. She was as caring as she was clumsy. "As it happens, I am extremely tired. It's been a long, long night. I've had six calls from my wives asking me why I haven't called them to say I was working late. Healer Xadaani isn't speaking to me because I wasn't meant to go out on the crawl, only search for Jemmiah."

The healer closed his eyes and sighed the sigh of a contented man.

"At least we have her safely under lock and key this time."

"Er�" Dimallie gulped.

The tone of that "Er" was not lost on An-Paj. He opened one eye only and stared directly At Dimallie. "What?" he growled.

Dimallie swallowed. "C-could you come with me a moment, please sir?" she pleaded.

An-Paj had the most horrible feeling he knew exactly what was going to await him when he got to Jemmiah's bed in Kenobi ward. He marched up to the drawn curtain with a distinct feeling of d�j� vu, and pulled back the screen. Sure enough, he found himself staring down at an empty bed.

"How?" he asked in a strained voice.

"I had to fetch Quirida-Xac a bed pan. He kept buzzing me again and again�I couldn't just leave him like that. Nobody else was answering and the poor old man sounded desperate so�"

"Whilst you were absent she sneaked away, yes?" The healer let out an irritated breath. "So much for her promises."

"Maybe she wanted some fresh air," Dimallie said hopefully.

"No, no. We've had that one already. Jemmiah never tries the same thing twice. No doubt she'll have some novel and highly implausible excuse for her absence on this particular occasion." He flexed his hands, the veins standing out against his blue skin.

"Let's see how well she can tell us them after she's been fed a massive amount of sedative."

*******

"I can't see a damn thing!"

"We shouldn't have left Sal on the grass like that."

"Yes we should."

"Okay. We should,� admitted Dex.

"I still can't see,� moaned Lilith. "Which part of the gardens are we in?"

"I'm not sure." Qui-Gon frowned. "But we don't seem to be any nearer to locating the turbo lift."

"Listen, you Jedi might have cats eyes but us mere mortals�hang on a tick whilst I get us some light."

Lilith retrieved Krelo's lightsabre from her cleavage and held it aloft. "There. That's much better. Now, if we can just�"

Lilith's finger triggered off the power and immediately a large beam of green bathed the area in a hazy emerald color. She swung the blade round experimentally for a moment, liking the "Zum-Zum" sound as she parried imaginary adversaries.

"Put that away, Lil! It's not a toy!" Krelo scolded. "More to the point, It's MINE!"

"We can see where we are now." Lilith stopped swinging the blade and held the saber aloft, using it as a glowstick. "I can see trees, and shrubs. And very big hedges and funny little animal shaped bushes."

"We're in Master Quilan's ornamental garden, not far from the water garden." Qui-Gon was delighted that he actually recognized something. "But that is a long walk away from the turbo lift."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't keep on," Lilith groused, swinging the blade one last time.

Instead of going "Zum", the blade suddenly went "Tzzzt" instead.

"What have you done?" Dex asked in horror.

"I've not done anything," Lilith retorted.

"Hold the blade still so that I can have a look," Krelo commanded, fixing Lilith with a stare that told her to move at her peril. She got down on her hands and knees and began to crawl around on the grass until her hands came into contact with something leafy and slightly fried round the edges. "You've cut the head off Master Quilan's Swan! Lilith, you idiot!"

"What swan?" Lilith asked. "I didn't see any swan!"

"His ornamental swan�his topiary! It's his hobby. That thing was his pride and joy!"

"Oops." Lilith shrugged. "I'm sure he'll get over it."

"You don't know Master Quilan. Old he may be but he's as sharp as a tack. If he ever finds out that we�"

"It wasn't as if it was very good." Qui-Gon shrugged.

"It was awful." Dex admitted. "Probably done us a favor by getting rid of the monstrosity."

"There, see?" Lilith said to Krelo.

"Lil, your ship looks terrible, but if one of us took a lightsabre to it you would be a little upset, wouldn't you?" Krelo replied.

Qui-Gon ignited his own blade to help see the damage better. "Hmm." He stared. "I think he's going to notice that one. Mind you, I think I could have done better."

"Eh?" Mace squinted.

"This hedge shaping business. Look." He walked over to the large conacious hedge that formed a neat and well-trimmed border round the grass. "Watch and learn."

The green blade plunged into the hedge, altering instantly it's beautifully immaculate form with a few sizzling thrusts. Qui-Gon was enjoying this. The others stood back some distance, trying to make out what he was doing. "Can you tell what it is yet?" he asked his audience.

Berlingside frowned. "It looks familiar, right enough." He agreed. "The pointed bits do recall something to mind. Can't say what it is though."

"I want a go." Mace said, igniting his saber too, and promptly lopping off the arm of one of the ancient statues that had been at the temple since the time it had been first built. "Think it'll grow back by tomorrow?" he asked Krelo.

Dex laughed and joined Qui-Gon in carving something in one of the hedges, sneaking furtive glances at Mace all the time. "I've finished." Jinn smiled crookedly. "Tell me what you think."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Qui-Gon's work of art.

"It's very good,� admitted Dex. "What is it?"

"You mean you don't know?" Jinn looked shocked. "But it's obvious, even to a half-wit like yourself!"

"I don't see it." Krelo shook her head.

"Me either."

Lilith stared and stared at it as if it were one of those magic trick pictures that suddenly became clear after about an hour's worth of ruining your eyes on it. The image eventually presented itself to her with amazing clarity. "I hate to say this," she admitted with a grin, "but I know what it is."

"What?" Dex demanded.

"Yeah, what?" Mace echoed.

Lilith tried not to snort with amusement. "It's Master Yoda!"

"Correct!" Qui-Gon actually looked pleased with something she had said that evening.

"That's nothing like Yoda." Mace waved of Qui-Gon's artistic efforts with a critical flick of the hand. "THIS, is Master Yoda."

The saber burned brightly into Master Quilan's hedge as Mace sought to give his definitive version of the little troll's face and bat ears. Shortly followed by all the others�

*******

"What I want to know," Jay looked around the darkened surrounds, "is how the hell we ended up in the gardens! Does anyone have any recall of it whatsoever?"

He was deafened be the sound of silence.

"Aww, Sith!" Jay grumbled.

"Are�are we home yet?" Simeon yawned hugely.

"Where have you been?" Kylenn waved her hand infront of the padawan's vacant face. "Don't you remember landing?"

"He's still up there." Meri smirked.

Leona tried to utilize the Force to help get her bearings but to no real effect. "Well," she wondered, casting an uncertain glance at her companions, "how do we get out of this? Perhaps if we go back�"

"Go back?" Obi-Wan groaned. "If that was a joke then it wasn't amusing. I've got no memory of how we got where we are now but my feet seem to have some clue judging by the way they feel."

"And smell." Jay laughed.

"Extra walking has little appeal for me." Obi-Wan continued, his head swimming. "I think we should continue the way we are heading."

"I agree with Leona, I'm afraid," Depa remarked. "We could go on wandering round indefinitely. Let's go back to where we think the pad is�"

I think you're right." Meri nodded. "Maybe we should split up?"

"Typical female," Jay remarked hotly. "In times of adversity you all band together."

"I'm going with Obi-Wan," Tanni rumbled throatily.

Vernice reached up and caught him by the scruff of the neck. "What was that, fish paste boy?"

"I said I'm going with you, Master."

"Well, I am staying with Obi-Wan." Jay insisted. "I bet we get back home before you do."

"How much?" Meri demanded, having had just about enough of Jay's bragging.

"100 credits. First person back can leave proof of their claim and contact the others via the holoterminal. But there's no way you will win. I am going to wind up a pretty rich boy in the next few hours, eh Obi?"

Obi-Wan barely checked his annoyance but somehow managed to reel in his longing to smack Jay in the nose. It wasn't a very Jedi thing to do. And besides, his arms were bandaged up so that rendered that option an impossibility.

"Fine." Meri smiled. "100 credits it is, big mouth."

"I love you too." Jay grinned.

Simeon sighed. "Where are we?" he asked.

"YOU are coming back with me." Leona replied as she caught hold of Simeon's arm to steer him in the right direction.

"But I hardly know you�" Cates protested.

"I meant to the infirmary." Leona growled, exerting pressure on him to start to move.

"I'm not ill."

"You will be by the time An-Paj catches up with you." Leona promised.

Simeon started to gibber. "N-no. Not An-Paj." He shook his head in denial. "ANYTHING but An-Paj�who is he again?"

"Your master." Leona said patiently as she started to drag him away.

"And you are?" Simeon frowned.

"I'm your mother," she said sarcastically.

"Really?" he looked hopeful. "Because I think I remember something about a heap of laundry that needs pressed�OW!"

Leona took hold of him by the ear. "I'm Leona. Do you remember now?" she asked dryly.

"Pleased to meet you," Simeon shot out a hand, "I'm�I'm�er�hang on, I'll have it in a minute�"

"Simeon," supplied Leona.

"No, that's not it." Cates shook his head. He seemed to think about something for a little while before Obi-Wan heard him declare proudly: "I was sick, you know! All over the ground."

"I know."

"And then I was sick again later on all over someone's shirt."

"Yes, I remember."

"And then later I was sick all over a guy with funny hair and a brown dressing gown." Simeon hiccuped, remembering the dull and boring individual in question. "He he he he he he!" he laughed.

"I think it's time we went to bed, padawan."

"Your place or mine?"

"Simeon!" Leona scolded.

"Who?"

"Nevermind�just keep walking," Leona called back over her shoulder, "Obi-Wan, I think you should come with us. Those hands need to be examined properly and treated."

"I'll find my own way," he said in a dreary tone of voice.

"Sure," Depa mumbled, "the day he finds his own way voluntarily to the healers is the day that Yoda stops hitting people with his stick."

Vernice, Tanni, Meri, Leona (still frog marching Simeon) and Depa reluctantly parted company with the others who had implacably refused to give in on the chance of finding a quicker route back, or in Jay's case of cleaning out Meri financially. Kylenn watched them disappear with mixed feelings. She was determined to stick with Jay and make sure he got up to no further tricky business that night but her heart told her that Leona was probably right.

And she wasn't certain how much further she could go on.

Like most of the others she had been sick at least once. Her stomach was Sith sore and the prospect of tramping round the seemingly unending Jedi grounds was not one that filled her with great enthusiasm. Sleep rose up to claim her time and time again as they continued to walk, and each time she fought off the urge she felt herself weaken more and more�

Up ahead, Obi-Wan was relentless in his quest to find the turbo lift. He had to find Jemmiah soon and warn her about Jay's little bet. The fact that the others had not been following him for some minutes had gone completely unnoticed by the padawan. He was exhausted, red eyed and aching in his broken bones but determination kept him going, when he heard the distant sound of something up ahead..

People?

With lightsabres?

Kenobi listened for a time trying to make out words or voices floating back on the wind but nothing he heard made any sense to him. The feeling persisted that perhaps these were people he didn't want to meet up with in his present state.

There was something else, too�water?

"The water gardens." Obi-Wan sighed drowsily. "I know where I am now. I think."

He took a few more tentative steps forward, still careful to listen out for the other people in the vicinity. The distant "Zum" of the saber could quite clearly be made out. Who on Coruscant would be fighting in the gardens at this time of night?

"Only an idiot," murmured Kenobi, "only a complete and utter�"

His foot came into contact with something solid on the ground and Obi-Wan pitched headfirst onto the lawn. Dazed, the padawan lay there for a moment. What the heck had that been? And what was it doing there where anybody could trip over it? And why did it smell like a cesspool?

He sat up and prodded it roughly with the toe of his boot. It felt quite hard and cylindrical, like a small log or something of that ilk. He kicked it again, this time much harder.

The object gave out a groan.

Obi-Wan was struck with a sudden inexplicable terror. He didn't want to know what it was. There was something familiar about it, he could sense it, but whatever it was he was not sticking around to find out.

Jedi never run from battle?

Ha!

He managed to get to his knees and then propel himself away from the hideous creature he'd collided with on the ground. Whatever it was smelt as if it had been decomposing for weeks and weeks. Obi-Wan thought the creature must have escaped from the zoo. When they got back to the infirmary maybe they could call in some sort of veterinarian and put it out of its misery.

On the lawn, Sal-Fina continued to doze, dreaming dreams of past glories and running round the streets of Coruscant without any clothes�

*******

"Soooo tired." Kylenn rubbed her eyes like a sleepy child. "I could just go to sleep right here and now."

"Then why not?" Jay yawned. "You ever spent a night out in the stars?"

Kylenn shook her head and sat down on the grass. "It's kind of cold," she muttered. "But I'm so knackered�I can't go on. I just can't."

"Yeah," Jay yawned. "But I'm not losing my bet. Tell you what, we'll rest for a moment and then we'll get going again. How about that?"

Kylenn nodded, but was virtually asleep at the time. Her head drooped, and Jay couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. He sat down next to her, allowing the girl to rest her head on his arm as a pillow. It had been a long night after all. But a good one. How much he was going to remember of it when he woke up next was a matter of some conjecture.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to have a short rest. Meri didn't stand a chance, and as for Obi-Wan�

Smiling, Jay contented himself by huddling up next to Kylenn and closing his eyes. A few minutes shuteye wouldn't do him any harm. The last thing Jay remembered before falling asleep was the sound of Ambianca, still carrying her master's clothing like a devoted servant, sitting down on the other side of him and plumping up Sal-Fina's robe for a cushion.

No. No harm at all�

*******

The sound of the water got ever louder as Obi-Wan stumbled through the gardens, past the darned sprinklers that he and Jemmy had rigged with the sludge not so many weeks ago, now turned off for the evening. He was glad about that. The last thing he needed right now was a soaking.

He was thirsty though. Drinking all that alcohol had been hard work indeed. And he was feeling a little giddy right now. A glass of water was what he needed.

At the back of his mind he was certain he could hear one person, maybe two not very far from where he was now. He couldn't afford to linger for very long or he would risk detection and a grilling as to why he was wandering round the gardens in a stupor at this time in the morning. Mind you, people mad enough to hold saber practice at this time in the morning weren't really in a position to point accusing fingers as far as he could tell.

The fountain that was closest to him, old and grey and made from some kind of marble gurgled invitingly. Perhaps one quick drink to quench his thirst, just for old times sake? When he was an initiate he and Zac would often drink from the fountain, but only when the cr�che masters weren't looking.

There were no cr�che masters here to scold him and shout: "Careful, padawan Kenobi. You don't want to fall in and catch a chill. Or you'll end up in the infirmary and you won't like that, will you?"

Obi-Wan hadn't liked.

He got as close as he dared to the bottom tier, shaped like a gigantic saucer which in turn supported another gigantic saucer and then above that another�it was a very simple design. He looked exhaustedly about him, his eyesight threatening to do that tunnel thing before packing in altogether through abuse. One drink.

Just one drink.

It was awkward, because of his bandaged arms, to get anywhere near the cool crystal water when he bent over.

One quick little drink.

He hit on the idea of balancing on the rim and then stooping over.

Hurry up, Obi-Wan. Someone's coming�and you haven't even told Jemmy yet about what Jay's been planning behind our backs.

A voice not too far away broke through his hazy mind.

"Look, I'll be right back. I'm just going to take a leak. Okay?"

Obi-Wan straightened up far too quickly and felt the blood rush away from his head. Then everything went black.

*******

Mace stood by the bushes, trying his best to answer a call of nature. It wasn't easy with all the jeering and laughter from his friends in the ornamental garden, still intent on turning Master Quilan's shrubs and hedges into life sized effigies of all the council members. He was just rather surprised that when they'd come to do his own likeness they'd chosen to liken his head to a Corelli billiard ball�

"Pull yourself together Windu," muttered the master, still smiling happily.

"Talking to yourself, Mace?" Jemmiah asked.

Mace nearly did himself a permanent injury with the speed he managed to cover himself. He reeled round in shock. "What are you doing out here?" he exclaimed.

"Looking for fairies at the bottom of the garden," she said glibly.

"You haven't made another still out here, I hope." Mace laughed. "We still haven't recovered from the last batch of Jemmiah home brew."

"Very amusing." Jemmy r replied. "If you must know, I came out here to escape the wrath of An-Paj. I kinda gave him my word I'd stay put this time so�"

"�You broke your word?" Mace guessed.

"Spot on."

Mace shook his head.

"Master Windu, if you don't mind me saying - you look different."

"How?" Mace smiled.

"Sorta happy," Jemmiah replied.

"Nice try at changing the topic." Mace grinned broadly. "You are in the infirmary for a reason. Get back there now, before I call Qui-Gon."

"I'm not scared," she sniffed, lying. "And why are you prowling about?" she craned her head.

"I was trying to relieve myself." Mace chuckled.

"Not very successfully by the look of it." She said cheekily. "Imagine not being able to go in the water gardens! There's water, water everywhere. All you have to do is close your eyes and listen�"

The sound of an exceptionally loud splash startled Mace out of the retort he was going to make. "What the heck?" he frowned.

"What could it be?" Jemmy asked. "Sounds as if somebody threw a large stone into one of the fountains."

The hair on Mace's head would have stood up had it been there. The Force seemed to warn him of something�

Someone in danger.

"The fountains!" Mace hurried Jemmiah along. "Quickly."

*******

"I can't see anything," Jemmiah tried to stare through the dark towards the elegant fountains dotted abstractly round the gardens; "Can you, Master Windu?"

"Hang on." Mace's fingers searched and finally located the lightsabre on his belt. "Let's have some light."

"W-what's wrong?" Jemmiah began to shiver for no apparent reason.

Something didn't feel right. Even without the Force she could sense it. The only sounds were the distant hum of air traffic and the gentle lapping noise of the water as it trickled down from the fountains. Mace's saber cut through the dark like a hot iron through the snow.

"Hope there's no more statues about," he chuckled.

"Sorry?"

"The last time I used this thing I lopped the arm of one of the statues in the ornamental gardens. At least," his brows furrowed, "I assume it was an arm."

"I still can't see anything," Jemmiah repeated. "So why do I feel as if I should?"

She looked at Mace in a displeased manner. "And will you quit grinning like that? You like an axe murderer."

"I'm happy," Windu protested, although still smiling.

"Let's see how happy you'll be when Master Yoda finds out who trashed his garden." Jemmiah said pointedly.

"No problem." Mace gave a devil-may-care shrug. "He'll never be able to prove it was us. There's no evidence. Besides, you still haven't explained why you are out here."

"Well, between you and me," Jemmy tapped the side of her nose, "I'm out here to bury that holochip. But don't tell anyone. Trees have ears and all that sort of thing."

"Yeah, as if." Mace continued to laugh good humoredly, waving the saber about. The light from the glowing blade projected some distance onto the grass and the fountain just ahead of them. Everything seemed to be perfectly normal with nothing out of place- except for the curious large, white object floating in the lowest tier of the nearest fountain.

//It looks like a giant bird that's crash-landed and drowned,// Jemmy thought as the cold feeling spread from her feet upwards in icy dread. Something persuaded her onwards, why she didn't know, drawing her nearer with increasingly faltering strides.

Her eyes stared in horror at the object for several heart- stopping moments, paralyzing her vocal chords totally. "Ben?" she barely managed to get out at first, and then followed by an ear-splitting yell. "BEN!!!"

"What is it?" The sanguine Mace Windu loped over to her side.

"Gods! Screamed Jemmy as she made a half dive over the top of the rim, trying to reach for his belt to haul him in. "Mace, help me! Call the infirmary! NOW!"

"Huh�er, yeah. Sure."

Mace rummaged in his pockets for his comlink as Jemmiah reached out even further, nearly falling into the fountain herself in her efforts to reach him. She'd known who it was straight away, even though he was face down in the water. Who else had their arms tied like that?

"C'mon, c'mon!" she yelled in frustration. "Don't do this to me Ben! Don't you dare die on me like everyone else!"

Her jacket was completely soaked on the front and sleeve as she hauled his dead weight- //No, don't think about it// -and physically manhandled him over to the side, her arms just under his ribs. He felt like a large, heavy sack.

He couldn't be that bad, could he? She'd heard him fall in�it wasn't such a long time ago.

//Please let me have got there in time,// she begged.

*******

"And how are you, An-Paj?" Ferdi Xadaani asked in a sweet voice, seemingly without moving her lips. "Feeling a little rough, are we?"

An-Paj didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him wince at the sharp tone of her voice. Ever since he'd discovered Jemmiah had gone walkabout yet again his headache had been steadily building until he thought his brains might try to escape through his ears.

"My head is perhaps a trifle�painful. No doubt I shall be paying for it along with everyone else." An-Paj mumbled.

Ferdi nodded. "GOOD!" She repeated, slamming down a bundle of files in front of him as loudly as possible.

"What's this?" An-Paj grimaced.

"The case print-outs on Padawan Kenobi. From what I've heard you're going to be needing them."

"That's not all of them." The healer rested his head in his hand. "I hope."

"Oh, no. This is just the tip of the iceberg. The last five years to be precise. If you want Kenobi: The Early Years I'm sure I can hire a skip to bring them down from the archives."

"That won't be necessary." An-Paj waved her away. "Thank you for your kind offer."

"There was nothing kind about it." Ferdi replied with a rictus-like grin.

She bent over to speak directly in his ear. "HOW ABOUT SOME CAF?" she yelled.

An-Paj glared. "You are a very cruel woman." He moaned. "Where is your compassion?"

"It's cleaning out the sluice - where it's been all evening since you left to go out carousing," she replied curtly. "I'm off shift in four minutes.

She banged a mug down on the worksurface sending a ringing sensation through An-Paj's cranium. "Enjoy the Caf."

"What've you done to it?" he asked uneasily.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

An-Paj stared at the mug before pushing it away with his pocket thermometer. "Not really that thirsty." He half laughed. "Although I'm sure it would be absolutely�"

His comlink chirped, distracting him from Ferdi's murderous intent.

"An-Paj," he answered gruffly.

"It's Healer Territ," the youthful reply came back.

"What seems to be the problem Gethin?" An-Paj sighed.

"I just had a call from Master Windu."

"They're back, then?"

"Sorry?"

"The rest of the reprobate cantina crawlers. They've arrived back? I hope my padawan behaved himself."

"They're in the gardens, sir," Gethin ploughed on, determined to get to the heart of the matter.

"A bit late for flower picking, I'd have thought."

"No sir, you don't understand. There's been a bit of an accident."

"What's Simeon done now?" growled the healer.

"It's not your padawan. It's Jinn's padawan."

An-Paj groaned, aware of Ferdi hanging around the doorway with a vindicated smile on her face. "What's he done? How many broken bones do I have to put back together?" An-Paj dreaded the answer.

"That's just it�he's fallen into one of the fountains and half drowned! His arms were still bandaged together and he couldn't -"

"Sith!" An-Paj swore untypically, thumping the desk with his hand, his head jarring at the noise.

Ferdi wasn't smiling anymore but walked over to An-Paj with a single eyebrow raised in irony. "Shall I hire that skip now?" she asked before following him out to the nearest turbo lift.

*******

"How much water can a person swallow?" Jemmy demanded, common sense barely prevailing over the urge to panic as she pushed down hard just below his shoulder blades, watching as the water gushed out of Obi-Wan's mouth. "I know I always said he was a bottomless pit but this is ridiculous! And WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING?!?!" she shrieked in frustration at Windu. "Go see if you can locate An-Paj!"

Windu tried his best to lose the happy smile- and failed. "I'll do that." He waved, lurching back towards the ornamental gardens.

Jemmy waited until he was gone before venting her spleen. "What-is-the-matter-with-you-you-great-lump? -Start-breathing-soon-or-you'll-have-me-to-answer-to!" her speech was punctuated with her attempts to push the water out from his chest. "Don't you DARE leave me on my own, just when we were getting to know each other better! And Qui-Gon will blame me for not being able to save you and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

She gave his back an extra violent shove

Was that movement? Was that a slight cough she had heard there or was she imagining things? Jemmiah closed her eyes and nearly wept with joy. "C'mon Tufty! Help is on its way. Hang in there, please!"

Gods, he was so cold! If only that idiot Mace had left his robe�now she would have to find something else to warm him. Her own jacket was soaked and completely useless. That only left -

She rolled her eyes heavenward and began to slip out of her dress. "Well, you said you wanted to stay for the unveiling. Now's your big chance." She pulled the black garment over her head and then draped it over the prone, freezing figure, straddling him.

"I'm just glad there are no holocams around to record this," she pushed down again. "Something tells me this would look very, very bad."

*******

Mace grinned.

He couldn't stop grinning. He'd grinned through the last round of drinks and grinned on the journey home in the temple bus. He'd laughed at Sal-Fina's jokes.

That couldn't be right�

He'd guffawed hysterically when he recalled the open vandalism of Master Quilan's topiary. And he couldn't help but laugh as he'd pronounced Jinn's padawan technically dead when they'd fished him out of the fountain.

It was all wrong. But he didn't care!

He should have stayed with Jemmiah, instead of wandering off. He should have helped resuscitate Obi-Wan instead of making flip remarks about Jemmy giving him the kiss of life. He'd seen what had happened to Biwo and Dex, Qui and Sal-Fina. Someone or some persons had conspired to doctor their drinks with that funny extract stuff that had made the headlines not so many months ago. It was the only explanation for their outrageous and un-Jedi like behavior.

And he had no doubts that he'd been caught out as well.

Why it had taken him so long to be affected he had no idea. Just that it was really beginning to kick in now. And would it be so very wrong to wander about naked in the privacy of your own home? It was not like it was when Qui and the others had gotten arrested for sauntering round the streets where anyone could see them. Who would know?

Mace removed his robe, which inexplicably felt like a ton weight. Oh, the freedom in being able to rid himself of all his garments�

He left his boots on for some reason he couldn't quite come to grips with. He had no real reason, except he thought it looked smart. He was in pretty good shape, he reckoned considering his age, looking down at his chest and torso and seeing muscles there that really didn't exist. Yeah, not bad at all! Better than Qui-Gon at any rate. At least so he thought.

His mind was high and up with the clouds. He really shouldn't have had those last few drinks. Somewhere within the alcohol-soaked brain a Force related insight suggested the rescue party was on its way to help Obi-Wan. He hoped that inspite of all the things that had happened at the cantinas that Kenobi would be okay.

Qui-Gon might get a bit upset otherwise.

The Force made another belated attempt to hijack his grey matter. It told him that not very far away, Qui-Gon, Krelo and the others were trying to work out where the heck he'd got to. Sure enough he could hear Lilith say something.

"Must be one hell of a leak," she commented.

"Where the hell has that man got to?" Krelo's voice added to the general disquiet.

"My Yaddle was better than his." Dex said petulantly. "Mine had both ears. And eyes. And also a head�"

"Typical Mace. Just wanders off whenever he feels like it�"

Mace just laughed and backed away. He continued to walk further, past the line of old trees and down a slight slope, narrowly missing a rake lying on the grass with his foot.

"Can you see him, Dex?" Krelo called.

"I can see something." his voice answered.

Krelo gave a little scream. "That's ME! Put me down Dex!"

The voices got nearer and Mace saw a green blade activate in the dark. "I'm glad it's you. Do you think I'd seriously want to goose Mace?" Berlingside asked.

"Not when he's running about like that." Krelo pointed.

They both gawked at the unclad Windu, who was still smiling like a lunatic.

"Oh, not you as well Mace! Please," Krelo groaned.

"Hey, it IS true what they say about the size of your feet." Dex chuckled. "That's why my boots are specially made."

"You mean they're flat?" Krelo said innocently.

Lilith and Qui-Gon, obviously in the middle of some kind of artistic argument suddenly appeared through the trees. "Hell's donkey's." Lilith whistled. "There's a sight you don't see everyday. Kre, you still got the holocam?"

"You bet I have," Krelo replied, pointing the cam straight at Mace.

Mace shook his head with a rueful smile. "Would you ladies like a close up?"

"No thank you. We can see all we want to from here. Well, if we use our imagination." Lilith tittered as Mace walked back towards them. There was something unnerving about that smile.

"Hey, Qui. I'm gonna be a holo star just like Sal-Fina!" he cried in delight.

"Wave at the camera," Krelo laughed.

"With your hands, Mace," Lilith quickly added.

"Only too happy to oblige two such beautiful females. Is there anything else I can do to entertain�"

His words were cut off by a sudden whack to the face that left him reeling and staggering about the gardens with stars in front of his eyes. Something had smacked him right between the eyes and on his nose, which he could have sworn had cracked with the unexpected blow.

"Oh, excellent!" Lilith clapped her hands in glee. "I'm sooooo glad we got that on film, Kre! A naked Jedi Master wandering around the temple gardens at night and standing on a rake head! Superb!"

Qui-Gon was bent double with laughter and Dex could hardly breathe. Mace had certainly not seen that coming. He staggered round with no sense of co-ordination whatsoever, sideways and backwards then forwards again, narrowly missing standing on the prongs again and slamming the long pole into his face once more. It was a good thing he'd put his boots on, he reflected with a now completely goofy smile.

"Priceless!" Qui-Gon laughed. "Absolutely priceless. I have to ask, but what do you do for an encore?"

Mace answered him by tripping up on the grass and falling backwards.

And then he screamed.

Somehow through all the following pandemonium, Krelo contrived to keep filming. As the others raced down to help the afflicted Jedi one thing became clear to Krelo.

Mace wasn't smiling anymore.