A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


Right, wondered Mace, just how was he going to manage this little miracle?

By his reckoning he had to locate the detention area, sneak his way in, blackmail the occasional on duty security man, haul his friend's rears out and somehow find them some clothing to make them look inconspicuous.

A fairly typical day, really.

He knew he'd like to kick Qui and Dex's rumps from here to Florizan for all the trouble he now found himself in, but then that always seemed to be the case. Qui-Gon would go off and do something moderately against the grain, Dex would go "Yeah, fine with me" in his usual cheerful way and he would be the one who would grumble and ask about the wisdom involved in whatever harebrained scheme it was. The one relied upon to do the rescuing when things inevitably went hideously wrong.

And the worst thing was that he always fell for it.

The fact they'd been marched away into the distance instead of being given a lift in the air car made Mace think two things. Firstly, the detention area must be within walking distance. Secondly, the officer who'd affected the arrest was marching them through the streets in order to embarrass the heck out of the two frozen Jedi. The second one didn't bother Windu's conscience in the slightest, especially not considering the horrible pranks that the scoundrel Jedi had inflicted upon him in the past. Although if he were honest he had been just as bad. Especially to Dex.

Qui-Gon was too tall to bully anyhow.

Looking back on those days made Mace wonder where all the time had gone. It seemed but a blink of the eye since Qui-Gon had been seeing Sal-Fina. And Vernice. And Evla�

And if there were any left that Qui-Gon hadn't gone out with you could bet your last credit that Dex had.

The thought of Dex made Mace worry on his friend's behalf. This whole Kryztan business was going to put him through the mincer by the time the council got to know of it. They wouldn't hear it from him and he doubted that Depa would snitch either but he had no doubts that it WOULD get back to the council, and sooner rather than later.

Not for the first time, Mace was glad that he didn't have a padawan at this particular moment. Raising his eyes from the pavement the Jedi stopped dead in his tracks.

"Well," he said out loud, "look at where the Force has lead me."

The sign said Coruscant Planetary Security Outpost no.37901. It couldn't have been any more obvious if someone had taken the writing off the wall and smacked him between the eyes with it.

"Things are looking up." Mace mumbled. "Problem no.1 is officially dealt with. If only the Force would be good enough to explain a way of dealing with problems 2 and 3�"

"Ask and you shall receive." A voice hailed him from the dark.

Mace, slightly intoxicated as he was, jumped at the interruption in his train of thoughts. He strained his eyes to peer into the murky night, picking out a small and slightly stooped figure exiting the gloom, walking towards where he was standing.

"Good morning to you, Jedi!" hailed the wheezing voice.

"D-do I know you?" Mace asked.

"No," the oscillating tone answered him. "But I do know what became of your two friends. I imagine that is why you are here, yes?"

"My frie�how do you know about them? Who are you?"

"Allow me to introduce myself." The man shot forward a welcoming hand. "I am the doctor who was called away from my nice warm bed and my nice warm seventeen year old mistress in order to conduct a urine sample on your Jedi colleagues."

"Ah," said Mace warily. "Oh."

"Oh indeed," sniffed the man as he stopped beside Mace. "There's a dirty mark on your head, young man."

Mace snorted. "I was tricked into a temporary tattoo by a hyperactive sixteen year old girl." He pointed at the picture. "This was the result."

"Is she your mistress?" The man asked.

"Heavens forbid! The situation's complicated enough without that sort of thing�actually she is the adopted daughter of one of the men you were called to test."

"The blonde one who can't pass by a mirror without smiling at his reflection or the big tall one with the girlie hair?" "The girlie hair." Mace smiled.

"Hmm. Couldn't get him to wee into the vial for the best part of an hour. I think your friend was putting him off."

"Sounds like Dex," Mace agreed before asking hesitantly, "Can I enquire as to the results of the tests?"

"Shouldn't really." The doctor eyed Mace. "But if it'll get that frog faced misery of a cop neck-high into poodoo then what the hell. Your friends results came back negative."

Mace breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"You seem surprised." The doctor said mildly.

"I am. They'd had enough to floor them several times over. In the case of Qui-Gon it did happen."

"Would you care to tell and aging old doctor how it was done?" he smiled hopefully. "It would recompense me on my ruined evening of passion."

"What's in it for me?" Mace wondered.

The doctor smiled enigmatically and held up a black medical bag.

"Your friends� deliverance." His red rimmed eyes took on a new liveliness. "And my revenge on that Bull Necked Swamp hog whose sole ambition in life is to make my existence an absolute misery."

*******

"It's Sal-Fina!" Krelo nearly doubled up in laughter. "May the Force preserve us! What in the name of the Sith are you doing�is there a fancy dress party that Jemmiah's forgotten to tell us about?"

"Well, if there was a prize for best Nerf dropping you'd win best in group for certain." Lilith held her nose in horror.

"SHUT UP!" Sal-Fina growled. "This isn't funny. I've been drugged and humiliated into running naked round the streets of Coruscant! I was nearly picked up�"

"Woohooo!" Lilith grinned. "Lucky old you!"

"�by the cops." Sal-Fina finished. "And by the looks of things I would say that Qui-Gon and Dex suffered the same maltreatment at the hands of the mystery drink doper because when I last saw them they were butt naked and sprawled on the ground."

"What were they doing on the ground?" Krelo demanded.

"I ran into them." Sal-Fina snapped. "It was their fault! They weren't looking where they were going!"

"Maybe if you'd kept your line of vision where it should be you wouldn't have collided." Krelo accused her. "Are you saying you just left them there?"

"It was either them or me, and it sure wasn't going to be me!" Sal-Fina replied. "And anyhow, they were too drunk to do anything by the time the security had caught up with them."

"So, where are they now?" Lilith persisted.

"Detention, I expect." Sal-Fina pulled Dex's cloak over her. "Don't even bother going to help them. I saw Master Windu follow on at a respectful distance. With any luck he'll spring them out pretty quickly."

Krelo snorted. "I thought you knew Mace," she said disparagingly.

Lilith turned to Krelo. "What now?"

"We can't just leave them there." Krelo shrugged. "It feels wrong."

"You mean you don't want to miss out on a friendly reunion with your handsome Corellian," grinned Lilith. "I can't say I'm over-enthused at the idea of helping Master Jinn escape justice considering all the unflattering things he's said about smugglers. On the other hand, it will be quite delightful to see his face when he discovers to whom he owes his freedom."

"Sal?"

"Don't include me in your cracked ideas. You're all going to end up in the clink at this rate. I'm going to locate my padawan, get my own clothes and go home and get myself in a hot bath for the next ten hours."

"Fine." Krelo tried not to gag at the unsavory smell from Sal-Fina's hair and clothing. "I think they were trying to find the Hell's Chance."

"That's what they'll have of finding it." Sal-Fina remarked, holding the robe closer. "I'll just have to rely on my wits."

Krelo watched the figure start to retreat into the dark. "Your wits? Oh, dear," she said.

Sal-Fina suddenly stopped. It wasn't as if the night could get any worse� What did it really matter, anyway? "Okay." She nodded. "Count me in. If you are planning to annoy Qui-Gon and laughing boy then I want in."

Krelo saw Lilith's displeasure but the smuggler held her tongue admirably. "Good." The red haired Jedi smiled. "Glad to have you with us on this occasion."

"Yeah," muttered Lilith, "great."

"Just one thing, Sal," Krelo insisted.

"What?"

"Try and walk downwind of us, would you? The smell of dog sewage isn't conducive to thinking up a good rescue plan."

*******

Mace didn't believe he was about to do this. His belt was once more tied securely round his head to cover up his mark of the devil. With his new turban he looked much more likely to pass himself off successfully as a doctor. With his robe tucked into his borrowed black medical bag and his coat, at least a size too small for him, tightly wrapped around his body covering his tunic, Mace just hoped he would have the nerve or the Force skills to bluff his way out of this.

Oh well, he thought. Here goes nothing�

*******

"What's the big plan?" Sal-Fina hissed from behind the group.

"We haven't got one," replied Lilith.

"What?!"

"We're planning on the hoof, as it were," Krelo said over her shoulder.

"That is the height of stupidity!" Sal-Fina retorted. "You don't have a plan?"

"If you've got any ideas hot shot then we'd love to hear them. How can we make any plans when we don't know what we are going to be facing?"

"If we could get the officers away from the reception area then we might stand a chance." Sal-Fina plotted. "If I cause some sort of disturbance outside the place then most of them will follow me. Krelo can distract the rest of them with the Force and Lilith can go search for our miscreants. Then we can grab our jailbirds and go."

"It won't work," Lilith sniffed dismissively.

"Why not?" bit Sal-Fina.

"I don't know. But it's bound to go wrong. I'm not sure I like the idea of trusting our freedom to a woman who buys men's boxers with big lips on them."

v "That was years ago," Sal-Fina replied. "Going out with Qui-Gon warped my mind."

"Now that I can believe." Lilith actually smiled.

*******

"Ahem."

At the sound of the polite cough the Sergeant at the reception area looked up and found himself staring into the imperious and implacably stony features of Mace Windu. His eyes strayed from the coat that was quite clearly several sizes too small for him to the scuffed black Rancor skinned bag that announced his profession to be that of a doctor.

"Ah, yes. We've been expecting you sir." The Sergeant frowned slightly as if trying to make up his mind about the newcomer. "Our inmates are getting quite lively. I think perhaps the sooner this business is concluded the better."

"What seems to be the problem?" Windu asked.

"Didn't Doctor Warris tell you?" asked the Sergeant suspiciously.

"He didn't give me time to ask. Just said I was needed urgently at the detention area and to get over as quickly as possible before that porcine faced Gamorrean slime of an officer started kicking up a fuss."

The Sergeant was convinced. The description certainly seemed to match. But something still bothered him� "Do you mind if I ask you a question, sir?"

"Medical?"

"No, sir. It's just I was wondering how you managed to get here so quickly. We only called for you about four minutes ago."

Mace swallowed. "Er, I was in the neighborhood on a call."

"Oh. Nothing serious I hope?"

"Just some over excited participants in a cantina crawl. Drunk and ailing somewhat. Nevermind, thanks to my expertise I was able to patch them up enough for them to see in the dawn. Although I think one or two of them might wish they hadn't."

"What was your name, sir?" the Sergeant asked dutifully.

"Pardon?" blinked Windu.

"Your name, sir. So that I can announce you to my superiors."

"Urmmm�let me see, it's, er�An-Paj."

"Thank you, sir." the Sergeant smiled. "If you'd like to follow me this way."

Mace sighed to himself. Creative thinking whilst still fairly drunk was not the sort of thing he was good at. In normal circumstances he could lie and fib with the best of them if it was really required. But there was nothing normal about this. The man led him away towards the detention cell area, down some steps and into a tight left turn.

A solitary figure with folded arms met them at the mouth of the corridor.

"Who is THIS?" the incredulous voice asked.

"This is Doctor An-Paj. He's come to conduct the secondary analysis on the urine samples for�"

"Yes, yes." Bull Neck stared at the turban round Mace's head. "I think when you stepped out the shower you forgot to take the towel off your head."

"Very amusing." Mace smiled humorlessly. "Where are the two troublemakers."

"We won't be needing to bother them." Bull Neck grimaced. "We have the samples they provided. All we need is for you to check the results and confirm that they are incorrect."

Mace widened his eyes. This was not what he'd been expecting. How was he s'posed to release them when he wasn't allowed in the same cell? "Er�not possible, I'm afraid." Windu said as officiously as he could. "You see, the chemicals in the urine breakdown very quickly. It would be possible to test the same sample and get an inaccurate reading, and we wouldn't want that, would we?"

"You mean to say that what we already have is no good?" Bull Neck's voice soared in disbelief.

"I'm afraid that would be an accurate picture of the situation." Mace nodded. "I think you are going to have to go back and demand another sample from them."

"That is ridiculous!" Bull Neck sniffed. "Have you ANY idea of the time it took to get them to produce the samples we already have?" He waved Mace towards the cell. "You'll just have to take a blood sample instead."

Mace's jaw seemed to dislocate itself and then rebound off the ground. "S-sorry?" he gulped. "What was that?"

"A blood sample, doc." Bull Neck smiled evilly. "I know it's still the alternative method of testing for substances in the blood stream."

Mace swallowed. He hated blood. He hated needles. And right now he hated Qui-Gon and Dex.

The cell force wall was duly deactivated and both Mace and Bull Neck strode in to confront a completely dumbstruck pair of Jedi Masters. "This," huffed Bull Neck, "Is doctor, er, An-Paj."

"Is it," Qui-Gon said, unimpressed.

"He is going to be requiring a little more bodily fluid from you two gentlemen."

"What a shame. I'm all out of bodily fluids at the moment," Qui-Gon remarked sarcastically.

"Me too," Dex answered.

"That's why we shall be requiring a little amount of the warm red stuff this time." Bull Neck grinned.

Qui-Gon and Dex exchanged horrified looks with each other and then turned to Mace, the revulsion they felt for the idea perfectly clear. The idea of letting Windu ANYWHERE near them with a needle was too ghastly to comprehend� "I'll let you get on with it, doc," smiled Bull Neck as he grabbed himself a seat, waiting to enjoy the show.

Mace swallowed. "Right," he said through an impossibly dry throat, "which one of you gentlemen is first?"

"HE IS!" the Jedi said in chorus, pointing at each other.

Bull Neck was really satisfied with the way things were turning out.

"Now, now. Don't fall over yourselves to be first." He stared at Dex. "You first."

"W-why me?" he asked in a hurt tone.

"Because you strike me as the sort of person I would like to see stabbed with needles. Roll your blanket up."

Dex went as white as a sheet. Mace met his pleading stare and wondered what the heck he was going to do� Oh, yes. He had some of the equipment in the doctor's bag, nestling safely underneath his robe and the three hidden lightsabres. But the very sight of a needle brought him out in a cold sweat. He fumbled about for the hypodermic, trying to ignore the "I'll give you anything you want, please don't use that needle on me" look that Berlingside was trying to subject him too.

He didn't want to think about it.

"My day's looking up." Bull Neck smiled as Mace prepared the syringe.

"I wish mine was." Dex began to feel as if he might hyperventilate.

Windu got as close to Dex as he could and suddenly felt his vision begin to go all black and fuzzy, his ears ringing. "Do I get a blindfold?" Dex swallowed.

It was the last thing that Mace heard before he passed out on the ground.

*******

When Mace came to he was still on the wrong side of the cell with Qui-Gon and Dex. Only Bull Neck and the Sergeant were on the other side with the force barrier between them.

"What happened?" Mace asked groggily, holding a steadying hand to his head.

"You passed out." Qui-Gon said in irritation. "When they went to loosen your clothing they discovered that underneath your clearly 'borrowed' outfit was that of a Jedi. And when they opened your bag to find some ID they found three lightsabres and a Jedi robe. Which you have to admit was a bit of a giveaway. Then they undid your turban and saw that." Qui-Gon pointed at the tattoo. "But I think what gave it away most of all was the fact that they'd never before come across a doctor who passed out at the sight of a needle!"

Mace groaned. "And?" he asked.

"The upshot is," Qui-Gon clasped a friendly hand to his shoulder whilst looking anything but friendly, "You are under arrest for impersonating a doctor and trying to pervert the course of justice."

"Oh, please! This is a joke!" Windu despaired. "How long are they going to keep us in here for?"

Dex looked idly round the room. "Who's for eyespy?" he asked.

*******

"What the heck was that?" Jemmy's eyes nearly bugged out of her head as the sound of a scream ebbing slowly into a wail of pain drifted down the corridor.

An-Paj looked up from what he was doing. "That, I imagine, was Mr. Rendar having his burns looked at." The healer replied as he returned to placing the synthetic flesh over the gashes in Jemmy's legs. "How do you feel?"

"Not so bad," she mumbled.

"Good." He nodded in satisfaction. "The synthetic skin will hold until your own grows back, then it will simply fall away. But I should warn you that it might�"

"Itch?" Jemmy asked. "Yes, I do remember. The blaster shot in my shoulder that I got a few years back itched like hell itself a week later."

"Yes," An-Paj grimaced, "Now I remember too. You scratched it with a hair brush and it got all infected again and we were back to square one."

"I wouldn't have minded," Jemmy pulled a face, "Except you tried to cure me by putting even more synthetic skin on! And that itched even worse. I had Qui-Gon trying to stop me from scratching it every few seconds and in the end he gave up and used the Force to put me out for a little while!"

"No scratching!" An-Paj looked at Jemmiah's formidable nails.

"Yeah, yeah."

The healer straightened up and eyed her thoughtfully. "If you want this skin to take you are going to have to stay still and in bed for a bit. Do you hear?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"That means no wandering around."

"Yeah, yeah."

"And you are one of the worst patients I have ever tended in my life so I am not just saying all of this just to hear my own voice."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! You can't keep still for five minutes. I mean it, Jemmiah. If I catch you out of bed then I will be forced to give you something that will make you sleep." She looked at him with big, sad rounded eyes. "Don't try that one on me either." He smiled. "I am a healer. We have notoriously thick skins and have no pity whatsoever."

"Tell me something I don't know," Jemmy grumbled.

"We are also very tolerant of pain." He flexed the tweezers in his hands menacingly. "You aren't."

She eyed the torture implements in his grasp. "Have I ever told you how much I love the food in this place?" She lied.

An-Paj grinned. He'd really missed his vocation.

He should have been a psychologist.

*******

"Right!" Sal-Fina growled. "We've been waiting here for nearly an hour and Windu's nowhere to be seen."

Krelo closed her eyes, stretching out tentatively with the Force. "They are in there." She said finally. "All three of them."

"Looks like Mace's big rescue plan didn't work," Lilith sneered.

"At least he had one." Sal-Fina glared at her two companions.

"What makes you say that? For all you know he might have done something really stupid like try to pass himself off as�a doctor or something idiotic like that."

"Not even Windu's that thick," Sal-Fina mumbled. She stood up tall and straight, puffing her chest out in importance. "I'm the eldest here�" she began.

Lilith and Krelo snickered.

"�So I will assume command of our little operation. Okay?"

"Fine with me." Lilith said casually. "What's your idea of a distraction?"

"I'll set off the alarm on one of their patrol speeders round the side of the block." Sal-Fina replied. "Then when they start to chase me I'll simply disappear into the night. Most of 'em will follow me out and then you two can deal with what's left. Force wipe them if you have to."

"Sal, I think you've been watching too many of those holo cop shows." Krelo sighed. "Real life is NOT like that."

"That's why they won't expect it," Sal-Fina said eagerly. "What a way to round off the evening, huh? Just like old times. And this is one challenge I intend to win!"

Without another word, Sal-Fina hurried towards the security outpost, Krelo and Lilith watching until her lean figure was swallowed up by the night. "I've got an awful feeling about this," Krelo muttered.

"And you'd be right," Lilith agreed.

The red headed knight caught the small trace of amusement in Lilith's voice and began to wonder what on Coruscant she knew that Sal-Fina didn't. "Okay. Tell me," she demanded. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Lilith smiled. "Much."

"Lil�" Krelo warned.

"If you must know, Sal-Fina is wasting her time trying to set off the alarms on the speeders in the yard."

"Why?"

"They're not kept there any longer."

"What?!?"

"I had a friend who ran into some trouble here not too long ago. Got taken to this particular station by the cops. They had just finished moving the speeders to a more secure area because apparently they got fed up with jokers trying to set the alarms off or steal the speeders. Even with all their security."

"So?" Krelo frowned. "What's there now?"

A frenzied bout of snarling and barking followed shortly by a yelp penetrated the noisy Coruscant night.

"Dogs." Lilith grinned.

"Huh?" Krelo gulped.

"Dogs," repeated Lilith. "Lots of 'em!"

*******

Jemmiah had laughed so much that it hurt.

The holo film had some choice material and no mistake. Lying here on the bed was extremely tedious and there had been nothing else to do but watch the best bits over and over again. Briefly she thought of the other injured members of the Jedi party and wished them well, Biwo in particular. But it didn't alter the fact that she was bored and had as good as given her word to An-Paj that she would stay put.

Then again, she always gave her word to An-Paj�and always found a way to break it.

From the antics in the underwear store to kissing Qui-Gon and having her legs felt by Mace, the whole thing had been wonderful. Except for that Kryztan affair. She really didn't know what would happen now or if she could ever bring herself to look at Master Berlingside again. That was the way of the victim, she supposed. Humbled and degraded and made to feel that everything was their fault when it most certainly wasn't. Well, she couldn't help how she felt but she'd be damned if she'd let Kryztan know how much he'd scared her. He'd been brought back in the same transport but mercifully Zac had sat beside her and blocked her view of him. Not even Kryztan would try something in a transport packed full of Jedi.

The one problem with the hilarious footage was that in the wrong hands it could do lots of damage to lots of people such as Mace and Qui-Gon. The honorable thing to do would be to hand it over and let them destroy it. Jemmy sighed. She couldn't bring herself to do that either.

Is she couldn't keep it, but couldn't destroy it she would have to put it out of harms way.

An idea struck her. One that appealed very much.

A time capsule! Buried in the temple gardens for all eternity, the perfect resting-place for a historical artifact such as this holo chip! In the right container and in the right conditions it would last forever: a glorious reminder of days gone by. When they were all long gone, someday somebody would dig it up and look at the footage. And if they were expecting to see somber, sober and prim Jedi Masters and padawans then by the Sith they were in for a shock!

Now, if only she could sneak away without being seen�

*******

"Did you really think you could sneak out without being seen?"

This was the question being asked of the beggar woman in the long cloak as she was hauled into the station for questioning. Hauled at a distance, Lilith noticed. Obviously they weren't too keen on getting very close to that stink�

"And then there was two." She smiled happily. "I have to say, watching Sal-Fina getting done for trespassing was probably the highlight of my day."

"Very good," admitted Krelo. "But now there are four people to rescue! There will soon be more Jedi in there than security men!"

"Might make our task easier," Lilith answered. "Give 'em a little while longer to calm down and then we go in."

*******

"Here's another one of your scruffy Jedi friends." Bull Neck deactivated the barrier and gave her a mild shove in the back. "She seems to prefer dressing as an old hobo. When she's not running naked round the streets at night. Now, keep the noise down, do you hear? Governor Regis is on an inspection of the detention facilities and he's having a nice little sleep in the adjoining room. Wouldn't want to disturb him, would we?"

The man gave a triumphant bark of laughter and then activated the barrier once again.

Qui-Gon couldn't believe it when Sal-Fina was thrown into the same cell. At least he assumed it was Sal-Fina. It didn't really look like her. It didn't dress like her. It didn't smell much like her either.

"There's a corner over there. I suggest you go stand in it." Jinn pointed. "Preferably as far away from me as possible."

"Shut up!" Sal-Fina snarled. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this mess!"

"How do you work that one out?" Qui-Gon demanded.

"I decided to help assist in your rescue against my better judgement. And when I find out who the little snakespit is who spiked my drink�it's probably your Corellian girl! She has no morals at all!"

"What would you know about those?" Qui-Gon asked sweetly. "You should try thinking before opening your mouth. Jemmiah's drink was spiked too. She's hardly likely to doctor her own drink, is she?"

"With her, anything's possible," the woman groused. "Here! I think these belong to you!" Sal-Fina unfurled the boxers from her robe and let everyone else get a good, long look at them. Qui-Gon snatched them away but made no attempt to put them on.

Dex regarded them both in jocular fashion. "That lasted a long time."

"What did?" sulked Jinn.

"Your truce."

"It had a strangulated birth." Sal-Fina sat down on the cot with a whumph! "Then I put it out of its misery."

"Can't you two be nice to each other every now and again?"

"NO!" they both said together.

Mace wrinkled his nose in disgust. "What are you in for?" he asked Sal-Fina.

"Trespassing. You?"

"Impersonating a doctor." He grimaced.

Sal-Fina roared with laughter, wiping stray tears from her eyes. "I take it all back," she chuckled, "you really ARE that stupid."

"Least I don't smell like something that belongs up a vrelt's bottom," Windu hissed.

"Just shut up for a moment! We have to think of a way out of here."

Qui-Gon sat bolt upright. "Wait a minute." He smiled carefully. "Did he say Governor Regis?"

"I believe that was the name." Mace frowned. "Why?"

"I think if it's the same man I'm thinking of then our luck is finally in." Jinn pondered, beckoning through the barrier to Bull Neck and the Sergeant.

"What is it?" the man grumbled. "Didn't I say no trouble?"

"I want to put in a call." Qui-Gon requested.

"No."

"It is my right. I am allowed one call and I am exercising that right."

The officer turned an attractive shade of crimson, unable to deny him a right that was legally his. Still seething, he deactivated the force barrier again and motioned Qui-Gon to step forward. "Call your lawyer and get on with it," he snapped.

"Oh, it isn't my lawyer," Jinn said coolly.

"Whoever. I'm sure they'll be really happy to hear from you at this time in the morning."

"I know they will."

Bull Neck was about to close down the barrier again when this time Mace waved at him. "What now?"

"I also want to make a call."

"Not whilst your friend is."

"When he's finished, then." Mace shrugged. "No difference to me."

Dex stepped forwards next. "I'd like to make a call as well."

"Where too?" Bull Neck asked suspiciously. " Lawyer?"

Berlingside shook his head. "I want to order a sand dune pizza." He smiled.

*******

"If you'll just wait here, sir." Madam Ying winked playfully at Obi-Wan, tracing a long, delicate finger over his bandaged arms. "I'll try and hurry along your order."

Obi-Wan knew something was wrong the moment the door closed behind him, leaving him locked in and alone. The d�cor was really beginning to get on his nerves. Red silk and golden tassels were visible everywhere he turned and by the far side of the wall lay a stack of giant satin cushions. A huge garish drape with some rather dubious looking pictures of people in rather compromising situations and positions hung beside the window.

Most worrying was the lack of dining facilities.

He thought briefly of Jemmy and sighed. He just never seemed to get a lucky break where she was concerned. They'd been going out for a month now. Four little weeks. In that short duration they'd spent all their spare time getting to know each other more. Yes, they'd grown up together but to step away from their sibling relationship and love each other as boy/girlfriend was proving an exciting yet frustrating challenge.

And Obi-Wan DID mean frustrating.

Qui-Gon saw to it that they had very few opportunities to be alone with each other. When he'd caught them being passionate in the turbo lift Obi-Wan didn't know who was more shocked: his master or himself. More to the point, Obi-Wan was beginning to wonder if he'd ever get the chance to know his girlfriend that little bit better.

He knew what Qui-Gon would say if he did�

Jemmy, he often thought, was like a potent drug: utterly intoxicating with occasional unpleasant side affects. But Obi-Wan kept coming back for more. He didn't think he'd ever get her out of his system.

He wondered why Jemmy had suddenly sprung to mind in connection with this place.

Looks like a brothel, he thought with a shudder.

It was only when he saw the door slide back to reveal an elegant and supple looking girl in her early twenties, long flowing dark hair falling over her, er� that Obi-Wan suddenly understood that the service these girls were providing had absolutely nothing to do with Corellian egg noodles�

The girl eyed him.

"Why don't you slip out those bandages and into something more comfortable?" She grinned suggestively.

"Another time, madam. In my next life maybe." Kenobi inched towards the door.

"Your next life?"

"Yes. After my girlfriend has killed me." Obi-Wan yelped as he managed to run past her.

"It's at times like this I wish I was a hermit living in the desert!"

*******

Qui-Gon felt perhaps a tiny bit ashamed of what he was about to do but then he felt extremely ashamed at his behavior all through this cantina crawl (what he could remember) and so tried to justify his present course of actions by telling himself it no longer mattered a vrelts ass what he did anymore.

"This is a private call, do you mind?" Jinn raised his eyebrows.

"Five minutes. That's your limit." Bull Neck glared, moving a little further away. "And I'll be watching you, so don't think you can try anything funny."

Qui-Gon blithely ignored the red faced security man and asked to be connect to someone he had once known very, very well indeed. He had planned on saving this for an occasion when he might need to call in a favor.

Like now, for instance.

The holo terminal chirped repeatedly for the best part of a minute and for one dreadful moment Jinn thought his initial confidence had been badly misplaced. //C'mon,// he thought anxiously, //answer the damned�//

"Regis here. What the hell are you doing waking me up at this time in the morning? I thought I asked not to be dist�" The man caught sight of the face at the other end of the transmission. "I don't believe it," he said flatly. "I don't believe it�Qui-Gon?!? Is it really you?"

"It is." He smiled. "Long time no see."

"Certainly is!" Regis looked amazed. "I can't believe how long it's been since I last saw you!"

"Ten years." Jinn reminded him politely.

"That long? Goodness." The man frowned suddenly. "Have you started up a new Jedi fashion or are you wearing a blanket just for the hell of it? And didn't you have a beard the last time we met?"

"Neither the beard or the blanket are a fashion statement, let me assure you." Qui-Gon said ruefully. "The blanket is a result of someone else's practical joke. The beard, or rather the lack of it, is a result of an extremely hyperactive and over imaginative young girl."

"Like that is it, eh?" Regis thumbed his long, aristocratic nose. "You sly old thing. Why are you calling me?"

"It's a long story but I only have two minutes and thirty seven seconds in which to tell it," Jinn mumbled as he glanced at Bull Neck, "so suffice it to say that I need your help on a somewhat delicate matter."

"Well," Regis blinked dark, unfathomable eyes at his former friend, "Why don't we meet up to discuss it?"

"Indeed." Qui-Gon grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that. How about, say, in one minute."

Regis wondered if he'd heard properly. "Sorry?" The dark skinned man asked. "I could have sworn you just said�"

"I'm currently next door to the room in which you are sleeping." Qui-Gon smiled pleasantly.

"Well, I dunno. I've got a lot of work coming up inspecting all the stations on Coruscant�"

"You might be interested to hear that Dex Berlingside is here too."

That was all the threat that Regis needed. He coughed nervously and faced Qui-Gon armed with a feeble imitation of a smile. Evidently the warning had registered. "Berlingside, huh? Well�it will be good to see you both again. Yes, why not?" he said with pretended enthusiasm.

"I thought that might be your answer." Qui-Gon nodded astutely. "There's no reason why we shouldn't help each other out. You know, for old times sake?"

"Yes. I got the message." Regis fixed Jinn with a saccharin smile. "I'll be with you shortly."

"See you in one minute." Qui-Gon cut off the transmission.

*******

"Right!" Lilith breathed out. "I distract the desk boys and you grab our fallen angels."

Krelo nodded reluctantly, but it wasn't as if she could think of anything better herself. And if she refused then Lil would make her life a misery for the rest of her days.

"Just make it good!"

"Hey, I'm ALWAYS good!" Lilith huffed. "Now, you take off your robe and put my vest on over your top�fasten it right up and nobody can tell you're a Jedi. As long as you lose the fluorescent tooth pick." She nodded at Krelo's lightsabre. "Give it to me, I'll hide it in my clothing."

"Just don't activate it accidentally." Krelo remarked as she saw where Lilith was concealing it.

"Ready?"

The pair of them walked in through the doorway and almost immediately in the background Krelo could see Qui-Gon about to be lead back by a rather squat looking officer with a reddish complexion and a collar that was way too tight for him. //Looks like he's gonna have a coronary,// Krelo mused. Qui-Gon could sometimes have that effect on people when he was in one of his stubborn moods.

"Hey, that's mighty handy." Lilith nodded to their right, where on the side wall was a montage of holo pics of the various staff members on duty in the station. "That squashy lookin' one is called Ambrose!"

"I don't think I'd want to own up to that," Krelo snickered. "What good is that going to be to us?"

"Plenty." Lilith stared under her brows at the man. "Just follow my lead."

"Back in the cell, Jedi boy." Bull Neck smirked.

"I meeting someone," Qui-Gon said. "Sorry."

"Don't be smart! Get in there!"

"I knew it was him! Ambrose, what in heck do you think you are doing?!?"

Qui-Gon stared in utter disbelief at the tall and unmistakable figure of Lilith Demodae, and Krelo beside her, pointing an unwavering finger straight at him! No�not at him.

At the officer next to him.

The man was so surprised at having his name called out that he almost forgot that Qui-Gon was standing next to him. "Do I know you, ma'am?" he asked coldly.

"You are a despicable, dirty rat!" Lilith hissed. "Running out on me like that for some floozy with legs up to her nostrils and an invisible skirt! How could you leave us behind like that? And don't give me that 'I don't know what you're talking about' routine because I've had the private investigator try to follow you for the past two months!" Lilith pointed it Krelo.

"Sir, I think you will have to confess your true identity and pay the maintenance on your five children just like the court ordered you to do on Alderaan," Krelo said seriously.

Bull Neck, otherwise known as Ambrose, sat puffing and gasping like a fish deprived of water. "I haven't the slightest idea who you are or what you are talking about! I have no children! My wife and I don't even sleep together in the same�"

Some of the other officers who had come to see what all the fuss was about began to chuckle quietly to themselves.

"Wife?" Lilith pretended shock. "I AM YOUR WIFE! We have been married for nine years last month!" she pointed at Bull Neck but stared at the Sergeant on the desk. "He walked out on us, the heartless swine! Poor little Ambrose junior can't even remember what his daddy looks like! Although on reflection I think he's quite fortunate!"

Cries of 'shame, shame!' were heard from round the room.

"Creida needs a new school uniform! Why aren't we getting any money from you, you Nerf's dropping?!"

Qui-Gon didn't know what to think of Lilith's display. The only thing he DID know that it was causing the officer a lot of embarrassment. Good, he thought.

Whilst all the shouting an recriminations went on infront of a rapidly growing audience, a figure from Qui-Gon's past walked slowly to stand behind him. "Qui." The voice said carefully.

"Ger," Jinn acknowledged.

"What have you done now?"

"Myself, Dex and two others of my party have managed through no fault of our own to be arrested by an overzealous officer with nothing better to do then try and pin the blame on innocent passers by."

"Just like old times, huh?" Regis smiled.

"Maybe. But if the council ever got to hear of this there would be a few choice words said on the matter and if my name was brought into it there are others who might suffer as a result."

"Like?"

"My padawan. And my�well, I don't exactly know how to describe her. My former ward, of whom I still legally have an obligation to protect. The parental duties are shared between myself and her actual guardian, but if things become nasty then it might just have a knock on affect as regards her future."

"Like?"

"She could find herself spending the next two years of her life on Corellia with her aunt and uncle, and trust me, she will NOT be happy about that."

"And what can I do?"

"You're the governor."

"You're asking me to break the law!"

"I'm not asking you to do something you've not done before, then." Qui-Gon stared at the patrician face.

"Pardon?"

"Don't play innocent, Ger. You're as crooked as a corkscrew!"

"I don't think that�"

"You can get us out of this mess and I suggest most humbly that you do."

"Or?"

"Or I tell the authorities that their hardworking and respected governor once spent the night in a cell with two Jedi companions some forty years ago for taking Drek during a protest rally."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me," grinned Qui-Gon. "If I didn't, Dex would!"

"It was a legal protest!"

"Not by the time you finished!"

"Look, Qui�"

"What's it to be?"

Ger Regis gritted his teeth. "You low down, sneaky, Jedi snitch!" he declared.

"That's me," nodded Qui-Gon.

They were temporarily distracted by the din in the corridor. Bull Neck was starting to cower from the huge form of Lilith and her sidekick. "I want what's owed me, or you are gonna get what's owed you" Lilith yelled, getting into character.

"I think you'll find I've got first claims on him!" another voice hissed from the doorway.

All eyes swung round to see who the new interloper was.

"Yeah?" Lilith looked the unimpressive little terrier of a woman up and down. "Why would that be?"

"Because," the woman marched angrily across the floor to stand by the officer, "I am his wife!"

*******

"Kylenn, you look really terrible," remarked Depa, who didn't look all that wonderful in her own right.

"Thanks," the padawan croaked.

Kylenn felt sick. Really sick. And was in desperate need of a fresher. She hardly ever so much as sipped anything with alcohol, much less downed it in large quantities and this evening's consumption of Flaming Corellian What-cha-ma-call-its had finally overwhelmed her system.

"Did anyone happen to notice where the freshers are?" The only answer was a round of shrugs. "Very well," she grumbled under her breath, "I'll have to find one myself."

Imri carefully stood up, holding onto the edge of the table for balance. She felt the floor tilt beneath her as she took her first tentative steps towards a bead-curtained door. She paused a moment midway, taking a breath before continuing on.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Master Billaba offered.

"Thanks, but no. I prefer to do this on my own." She had done some things that night she knew she was going to be teased about mercilessly. Unlike some of the others she had managed to keep her own clothes on. Well, enough of them anyway, but virtually tackling Jay during the kissing queue is going to be tough to live down. Not throwing up in front of other people was the least she could do to maintain some semblance of dignity.

At least she got to kiss Jay.

Kylenn parted the beads and stepped through. The hallway was dark with a single lamp dimly lighting the way with a series of heavy doors on either side, most were unmarked and closed.

//This place is a restaurant? Looks more like travelers' hostel. Either way, they should've made the freshers a little more obvious. //

The weary padawan made her way down the hall, tracing her hand along the wall to maintain her sense of where she was in relation to her surroundings - most importantly the floor. After passing four closed doors, she found the fifth was slightly ajar. She creaked it open and peered inside. On the right was a plush, double-sized bed covered with a ruby-red comforter and two golden throw pillows. To its immediate left was a low table adorned with the room's only source of light - a flickering candle.

"Hello?"

No answer.

//Good enough.//

She spied a small alcove near the opposite corner - leading to a fresher? - and slipped inside. She decided to take the long way and follow the wall, not wanting to risk collapsing while crossing the open floor. Upon reaching her destination, Kylenn reached inside the alcove and, after a moment of fumbling, flipped on the light. Yes, a fresher! Not in the greatest condition - the floor was filthy and a century's worth of rust ringed the basin - but under the circumstances it would do.

She bent over and let her stomach relieve itself of its offending contents.

//'You need to get out more,' he says. 'Don't stay cooped up by yourself so much,' he says. Thanks for the advice, Kryz. Throwing up in a disgusting place in the middle of the night is a memory I'll cherish for the rest of my life. Really.//

She cleaned up, came back into the room and leaned heavily against the wall. She felt tired, no - EXHAUSTED. The evening's activities had really taken their toll and she wanted nothing more than to lie down and go to sleep.

The bed.

It looked so soft.

So warm.

So inviting.

She could almost hear it calling to her, "Come rest your head, Kylenn...it won't do any harm..."

//Oh, great! Now the furniture is talking to me. I must really be out of it!//

"Only for a minute..."

//I should get back to the others..//.

"It's been a long night and you're sooo tired..."

Imri's tummy was still a little wobbly and her temples throbbed. Perhaps it would be better to rest up a little before getting caught up in her friends' next misadventures. Kylenn padded across the room, laid down on the bed and snuggled into the blankets.

//Just for a minute... //

She fell fast asleep.

*******

"M-my love, I assure you!" Bull Neck backed even further away, trying to fend off the three evil visions in the guise of his wife, Lilith and Krelo.

"Don't you 'my love' me! When you start spouting off garbage like that I KNOW you are lying!"

"But I have never seen this person before!" the man swallowed, waving a hand at Lilith.

"You lying toad!" Demodae placed both hands on her hips so that she would look as imposing and menacing as possible. "How can you be so callous as to disown your own kids? Cut them off without so much as a credit? Camille sobs herself to sleep every night, crying for her daddy."

Bull Neck saw the heated gaze swing from Lilith back to himself and felt the urge to hide under the desk.

"You've always had a thing about tall women!" The shorter woman hissed in distress. "Is this what it boils down to? Fathering kids off a woman as high as a Bantha?" she eyeballed Lilith with a sneer. "And about as intelligent by the look of it."

"Hey!" snapped Demodae. "Don't turn on me! We've both been made to look total idiots by this contemptuous piece of rats filth."

Four murderous eyes bore down upon the quivering wreck of a man. //Not so pompous now are we?// thought Qui-Gon.

"My darling�why would I want somebody else when I have you? And anyway, I like women to be slightly lined. It shows character�" He was answered by the blow of a fist crunching down hard against his nose.

"Perhaps this would be the right time to release your friends from their cell." Regis muttered, flicking off the switch that controlled the force barrier on the cell. "At least whilst things are a little bit intense on the domestic front."

"Perhaps it would." Agreed Qui-Gon, sparing the officer a pitying look. "If they ever manage to unlock his wife's knees from round his neck they'll be doing well. It's been nice doing business with you again, Ger."

"Just hurry up and get lost." Regis waved him away. "I'll see that the records regarding this case disappear."

Qui-Gon bowed slightly, a grin on his face. "I thought they might."

Lilith was in the middle of egging on the man's wife, persuading her that a 'mild case of strangulation might be appropriate under the circumstances', and watching her repeatedly banging his head off the floor. "Lil!" Krelo half laughed, half hissed. "The poor man!"

"Ah, stop worrying!" Lilith shot back. "He's probably used to it. Her type are nearly always armed with a sawn-off rolling pin."

"Mace!" Qui-Gon growled. "Where do you think you are going? We are staging the most daring escape ever seen on Coruscant and you�"

"I'm going to put in a quick call!" Mace smirked. "I won't be a moment."

"We are all going to get caught again." Berlingside remarked happily. "It'll all be Mace's fault. And these blankets are very itchy. It's not good for a person with sensitive skin to have to suffer the indignities of a rough weave�"

"You've not changed, have you Blondie?" Regis remarked dryly.

Dex stopped in his tracks and gawked at the once familiar figure. "Hey!" he said in astonishment. "You're�"

"Going home!" Sal-Fina caught him round the neck and started to drag him away.

As the three of them sneaked out the side entrance, Regis could hear Dex's voice drifting back, complaining that he'd managed to chip another nail and wondering if Sal-Fina had any hand lotion he could borrow�

"Time to get out of here." Krelo grinned lopsidedly.

"I think you're right." The smuggler agreed. "I mean, they look happy enough. Fighting like a normal married couple. Owch, that was a bit below the belt!" Lilith's eyes began to water in sympathy.

"We can't just leave him like that." Krelo remarked.

"Course we can! Everyone's having the time of their lives. Nobody will miss us. By the time they've managed to pull her off him we will have fled for safety. Quick, let's get out of here whilst they're detaching her legs from around his midriff."

Krelo managed to side away slowly towards the front door, spotting Mace Windu loitering in the distance. "Mace!" she said hoarsely. "Get a move on!"

"I'm on my way." He gave a final furtive glance from left to right and made a dash for the door.

Coruscant was the planetary city that never slept even when the darkness arrived, but right now it felt plenty quiet enough for Lilith. Mercifully so. She'd just about had her share of excitement for the evening. Above, the noise of transports coming in to land or taking off for destinations unknown filled the skies. Suddenly Lilith felt a pang of almost homesickness for the stars.

Perhaps it was nearly time to move on again.

She'd have to do that soon anyhow. There were no profits in sitting with an empty hold, stuck in a docking bay. But she had some unfinished business first.

"Wanna crash over at my place?" Krelo asked. "You can have the lumpy old sofa with the suspension that's all wonky!"

"Sheesh, thanks!" Lilith remarked. "I'll take you up on the offer to crash though. I want to be nice and near so that I can find out what Jemmiah's done with that holo film."

"And annoy Qui-Gon in the process?" Krelo asked innocently.

"That too," Lilith admitted.

Mace jogged to catch up with them. "Where were you?" Krelo demanded. "You could have got us all caught!"

"Retrieving these." Windu patted the black bag.

"What?"

"Our lightsabres. Couldn't be without those. And I had to put in my call, as is my right."

Frowning, Lilith asked, "Who did you call?"

Windu's face was a picture of contentment. "The Met Office in Lymuria."

"Lymu - that'll cost 'em a fortune!" Demodae chortled quietly.

"I'll say." Mace gave the detention area a final fond glance, as if to preserve it in his memory forever. "I left the holo connection running."