A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


"Let's get out of here!" Welks called out anxiously. "I don't want to have to call your mother and say that her only child has been incinerated by a passing troupe of Jedi circus artistes!"

Jonas looked down at the pale face infront of him. She was starting to come to�

"We can't just up and leave! These people need help."

"What does it matter to us?"

A slow smile spread across the face of Welks. "Ahaaaaaa! I get it," he nodded at Jemmiah. "Sleeping beauty here."

"You don't know what you're talking about," grumbled Jonas.

"Oh, I think I do. Can't be seen running away, eh? Won't exactly impress her."

"If you used that blaster as often as you did your mouth we might stand a better chance." Jonas shot back. "Just go for the legs though. Disable them. We don't want a bloodbath."

"Oh, don't we?" Welks grinned. "OK, OK. I'm firing already!"

A bolt hit the table that Jonas was crouched behind, sending the smell of melting plastic into the air.

"We are going to die." Welks smiled. "Do you want to buried in the family vault? How do you like cremation?"

"I don't know, I've never tried it," Jonas said glibly as he took aim at the back leg of one of the troublemakers who were menacing Rela and Flint.

"Imagine taking on a Wookiee!" Welks was impressed with their stupidity as a couple of idiots stepped up to tackle the giant.

"Imagine taking on the little red head." Jonas stared at Rela who had just kicked merry hell out of Bothan who had decided to side with the gamblers just for the hell of it.

The big Wookiee swung her two antagonists into the air, swinging them round slowly at first like a child's toy windmill in the breeze. Gradually she picked up speed, working herself into a huge, hairy corkscrew of brown flailing fur. Screaming as they were suspended by the collar the two gamblers became vague, shapeless blurs.

"Will y'all look at that." Jonas said in admiration. "Wouldn't like to meet her on a dark night!"

Welks glanced at the doorway. "I wouldn't like to meet them on a dark night either!" he stared as the entrance was filled with outraged snarling Wookiees.

"Here comes the rescue party!" Zac crowed. "I told you they'd be good in a scrap!"

"It's Mungo!"

"It's Gussie!"

"It's a riot!" called Simeon in a cheery voice. "They'll be blood and fur on the ceiling in just a moment, guys."

*******

Obi-Wan let his eyes stray from his girlfriend to the charge of the Wookiee brigade at the door.

"I think you spoke too soon," he grumbled, as they all tried to burst through the doorway at the same time and managed to get stuck.

"Great lot of use that was," Jodi harped. "So we have an enormous fury stopgap. Big deal."

"I've seen holos with better slapstick than this." Mace crouched down low, crawling past the padawans.

"Master Windu?" Blinked Kylenn. "What are you doing down here?"

"Because it's safer than up there!" Mace replied. "I'm going to try and crawl over to Jemmiah. See how she is."

Obi-Wan wetted his dried lips and prayed she was okay.

"There has to be more to life than this." Jonas shook his head.

"There is. One wrong move at the wrong time and you won't get to find out what it is." Welks pulled his head back swiftly to avoid a blaster shot. "I've been thinking."

"There's a time and a place for everything." Jonas flipped his blaster to stun and shot a greasy looking humanoid in the stomach.

"If we stay here much longer the security is gonna come here."

"So? They'll put a stop to this mess."

"They'll also arrest us for taking part."

"Oh." Suul considered.

"You sure you don't want to sweep your fair lady off her feet and leg it to the nearest exit?"

"The nearest exit has some kind of Wookiee orgy going on in it." Jonas replied, as he tapped Jemmiah on the face. The eyes were somewhat glazed but still focused on his face and he had to strain his voice over the sound of the blaster fire from nearby.

"Sweetheart? You feeling okay?"

"That's a really dumb question," she moaned. "Please stop the firing. I hate the sound of gunfire. It freaks me out."

"This blaster is all that's keeping you from having your pretty little rear fried." Welks frowned as he sent another volley of fire at the ankles of an angry Barrabel.

Jemmiah covered her ears with her hands.

She could see everything happening around her as if in a dream. Simeon was still throwing ice cubes. Qui-Gon was trying to keep Biwo free from further harm. Dex and Krelo were trying to snatch away everyone's blasters with the Force and Jay was trying has hardest to set fire to anything he came in contact with by breathing on it. Master Windu's robe was just one of the many things that got in his way�

Yet another shot, this time fired by Jonas, went off above her head.

Jemmiah got really annoyed. "I said WILL YOU STOP THAT?!?" she screamed.

Her hand caught the gun as he fired his next shot, sending the blast upwards instead of across. It hit the mounted head of the giant Nerf that was hanging on the cantina wall, knocking it off its fixings and sending it plummeting to the ground.

One minute everything had been going reasonably well, thought Mace. The next he was plunged into total darkness. It was almost as if his head were under water. Through little chinks of light he could see a startled looking Jemmiah staring straight at him.

He put his hands up to his head to see what was wrong.

"Should I ask him if he wants a sugar lump?" Jonas deadpanned.

"What in burning blazes�?" Windu actually shouted through his newly acquired disguise, although it came out as a mere mumble. His hands continued to flail about wildly infront of him and then to both sides in an attempt to gain his bearings. "What the hell has happened here? I can barely see!"

"Maybe we should ask him to give us a ride out of here on his back." Jonas grimaced.

"Does he bite?" Welks managed to grin.

"Only if your tongue ring gets stuck in his teeth," Jemmiah muttered.

Jonas regarded her carefully. "I think you've had enough excitement for today. I think it's about time you went back to your Jedi temple. There are healers there, aren't there?"

"Actually, most of them are here." Jemmiah nodded at Leona who was trying her best to look after Far.

"Then the moment has arrived to clear the lot of you back home."

"But there's another cantina. Correction, another two cantinas�"

"Look at yourself. Do you really think you'll manage it?" Suul shook his head. "Be realistic. You may be Corellian but you are NOT superhuman. End of the line. Do yourself a big favor and go home before you damage yourself further."

Jemmiah felt terrible. If it were in her nature she would have broke down and cried at the frustration of it all. To get to within two cantinas of the end and be forced to turn back�

Yet she found herself nodding.

"Good." Suul replied. "Welks? Cover me. I'm going to take this young lady outside."

"I'm not in the mood," Jemmiah opined cheekily.

"Well, at least you've still got a sense of humor." Jonas winked. "If you haven't bled to death by the time you get back I shall look forward to making your re-acquaintance one day."

"Leaving so soon?" Jemmiah asked. "We were just getting to know each other."

"You know how it is," he replied. "Got to get home to my mother. She worries."

"Your mother? Is there no Mrs. Suul in your life?"

"You must be joking." Jonas shook his head as he prepared to gather her up in his arms. "Footloose and fancy free, that's what I am."

"Do you know what the definition of a bachelor is?" Jemmiah asked him.

"What?"

"A man who has missed out on the opportunity of making some woman's life a misery."

Jonas snorted. "You could be right." He shifted her weight until he was comfortable. "Nearly ready to go." He was momentarily distracted by the antics of the half-Nerf; half-man that was futilely trying to find his way about without bumping into anything.

"Who turned out the lights?" Mace croaked as he clambered about on his hands and knees, trying to catch the slightest glimpse through the eyes. Some light was getting in at the ears but apart from that he was more or less blind. He tried to reach out with the force�

The collection of Wookiees that had been stuck in the doorway suddenly broke free, or rather broke the door frame, and charged forwards in a Wookiee battle rage as the previously flattened Bothan threatened to come back for a second beating. Their feet thudded against the floor, and Jemmy almost felt sorry for the poor Bothan for a split second. Gussie led the charge towards Rela and Flint.

They didn't get very far at all.

"Oh, wonderful rescue party here," Welks said caustically as the group managed to trip over Mace, squashing him under foot and sending them all flying. "What do you do for an encore? Juggle grenades?"

Jonas didn't stop to consider it. Never in his dreams had he ever expected to see a group of Jedi involved in a cantina brawl. He hadn't even expected to see one in a cantina in the first place! He'd thought the Jedi to be fairly bookish, rigid and wise.

Stars, how he'd been wrong.

"Let's get out of here." He stood up with the Corellian girl in his arms, pleased that the clownish spectacle of the Jedi master in the Nerf head had distracted a good many from their serious rioting. In fact, many of the brawlers had stopped what they were doing and were in the process of laughing themselves silly�

Rela watched as the Bothan was caught off guard and gave him a kick in the shin, before taking her chance and running to catch up with Jemmiah. Leona spotted them as they went past.

"Dimallie!" she called. "See what you can do for Jemmiah. I won't be long."

"Huh?" Dimallie said as she cowered behind the bar.

"That's you Hutt-Wit!" Jodi elbowed her.

"Oh, yes. Okay, I'm going!" Dimallie crawled the length of the bar on her forearms and knees until she managed to get out through the severely distorted doorframe.

Obi-Wan sighed with relief as he saw his girlfriend being carried to safety. She even had the nerve to wink at him as he went past!

But now he had to think how they could all extricate themselves from this mess.

"No! I can't see a thing, hardly." Mace was desperately trying to explain to the Wookiees who had all stared at him as if he had grown another head. "I don't know what this thing is but if you would consider removing it for me, I would be very grateful."

Windu felt a huge tug at the side of his head.

"You're pulling my ears off!" he shrieked. "Be careful would you?"

"Grrrrrrowwwar!" remarked one of the Wookiees, which Windu correctly translated as "Do you want this thing taken off or not?"

Another sharp tug nearly took the skin off the side of his face, leaving Mace to wonder if staying as he was wasn't the best option. "It's moving!" Mace yelled. "I felt it go!"

A large pair of hairy legs were braced against his shoulders as he sat on he floor. Gussie gave a few more sharp tugs.

"Now you're pulling my neck off!" screamed Mace. "Somebody get me a physiotherapist!"

The words were hardly out his mouth when the head (not his) was pulled completely off, leaving the Wookiee flat on her back and Mace blinking away the streaming light from his eyes.

"Thank the Sith for that!" he said, relieved.

Silence.

Just for a split second, Mace thought he had gone deaf just as he had earlier thought he'd gone blind.

"W-what is it?" He stammered as he felt the worried look from virtually every superstitious non-human smuggler in the bar.

"Melasi!" yelled one, a Wolfman standing in the corner.

"Eh?" Mace wondered.

"Grrroooooowwwwrrrrwrr!" The Wookiees shuffled away a few paces.

"What's wrong?" Mace looked down at the empty Nerfs head and realized that his turban had come loose. "What's this Melasi mean?"

"It means Evil One," Welks called as he dashed after his friend. "You have the mark of the devil on your head."

Mace rubbed at the tattoo of the Fork-Tailed Stinger with one finger. He'd forgotten it was there� The eyes of virtually every creature was upon him now. And judging by the expression that went with it, Mace didn't think things looked good�

*******

After scanning Far with the Force, Leona pulled off his belt and ripped open his tunics. Qui-Gon sat nearby ready to render any assistance she might need.

He watched the healer yank off his clothes and remarked to the unconscious Master, "Getting undressed again, hmm? This is turning into quite a habit." Leona shot Qui-Gon a firm look and continued her work.

"Help me roll him up," she ordered. Jinn did as he was told and pulled Far onto his side. She peeled off the remaining pieces of cloth exposing the damage the blaster shot had done to Far's body.

Jinn recoiled.

The bolt had torn a hole the size of a fist in the man's lower left back. The tissue inside was a sickly pink whilst the heat from the blast had cauterized the flesh around it into a charcoal ring.

"He's damn lucky," she stated cooly. "It didn't hit any vital organs and just missed his spine. Any further to the right and he'd be at best paralyzed from the waist down." Leona reached into her makeshift medkit and pulled out a Bacta pad and a thick roll of gauze, painfully aware of how inadequate her supplies were to treat this kind of an injury.

She sighed heavily as she patched up the hole as best she could and took to cleaning the blood around his mouth and bandaging up his head.

*******

Jodi crawled out from behind the bar determined to make a run for the front door. He had no intention of becoming swept up in whatever sacrificial ritual the superstitious patrons had in store for Mace. He drew up to his knees only to stare up into the face of a seething Neeko.

"Ya and me have a score to settle about my mother!"

"I think your mother has scored enough without any help from me," he replied curtly. The gambler grabbed Mullicar by the back of his collar and yanked him to his feet.

"I said, NEVER to say nuthin' about my mother!" He grabbed Jodi by the breeches with his other hand, hauled him up off the ground and sent him flying headfirst down the length of the bar.

*******

Simeon turned just in time to see Jodi barreling right for the glass of vodka he had just poured for himself. He casually picked up his drink, downing as Jodi raced by on his stomach and set it down again when he disappeared over the end hitting the ground with a solid THUMP.

Cates mused to no one in particular, "Good technical merit, but the presentation was a bit weak. I give it an 8.5."

Lilith looked around at the carnage and decided that Mace was on his own, nice legs or not. Besides, he was a Jedi and should be able to take care of himself now that they blaster bolts weren't flying.

"C'mon, Kre. Grab your boyfriend and let's get out of here. I suggest out the back way," she added, eyeing the motley crew of brawlers between them and the front door. "Jemmiah's already out and Leona's with your down man, so it looks like the only one still in trouble is Mace."

Dex looked a little uncomfortable with leaving, but saw the necessity of it and didn't argue. He got his padawan's attention and motioned toward the door.

"I'm afraid your vest is all ruined." Jemmiah smiled thinly at the tall form of her rescuer. "If you don't get that in to soak pretty soon you'll never get that blood out."

"Just what I need. Another bossy Corellian female telling me what to do." Jonas chuckled. "You can keep the vest as a souvenir of a very incident packed evening."

"You nearly had my leg as a souvenir." Jemmiah's face contorted at the not too gentle ministrations of Dimallie

"Yes, but what a shame it would have been to split up such a wonderful matching set." Jonas grinned.

Welks looked on in mock-disgust. "Will you stop that?" He grimaced. "Even when they're at deaths door you're still chatting them up!"

"And I thought I was special," tutted Jemmiah.

"My vest might be ruined but it would seem that your evening is too," Suul mumbled in a low voice. "I'm sorry that happened."

"Yeah, me too." Jemmy winced. "Sith! That hurts!"

"Sorry," apologized Dimallie, her face downcast.

Jonas tried to lighten up the tone. "You're doing a grand job. It's not your fault if her grumpiness here makes a lousy patient."

"I thought you were on my side?" Jemmy snapped.

"Well, I figure it's not like you can do too much to me with your leg in that state."

"You don't know Jemmiah," Dimallie said airily.

The Corellian glared. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here. And I never said you weren't doing a good job. Just that it has started to hurt. I know you're trying to help."

Dimallie brightened visibly. A kind word from Jemmiah was worth a hundred from An-Paj or Simeon. "It's not your fault that you are the clumsiest thing on two legs. I'll probably end up with my arms grafted onto my back."

"Hey!" Jonas scolded gently.

"She gave me a concussion." Jemmy folded her arms indignantly. "I STILL have a concussion! It's a good thing I know that I have this problem or I'd be really worried at the prospect of seeing two Dimallie's working on my leg. As if one wasn't enough."

She eyed Leona's padawan in annoyance. "If I wake up to find my leg is missing I am going to beat you over the head with it."

Dimallie looked close to tears and not for the first time did Jemmiah regret her outburst of temper. Sometimes, no matter how she tried, her natural sense of rage against the galaxy and it's seeming dislike of her just caught up and made her boil over. She knew she frequently crossed the line. It was only people like Ben and Qui-Gon that ever really understood her.

Picking on Dimallie was wrong. She was worrying about her master, just as Jemmiah was worrying about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. If she couldn't quite bring herself to say sorry straight out then she would have to make amends some other way.

"You did quite well in there though. I was watching you and Simeon with those ice cubes. For a healer you both have a fairly deadly aim."

"Even when it's unintentional," Dimallie mumbled, thinking of those boxes that had fallen on Jemmiah's head.

"Yes, well." Jemmiah didn't know what to say to that one. "I'm sure you'll get better with time."

"But what about my trials!" Dimallie looked up in dread. "How will I do any better? I am so stupid and heavy handed�how am I ever going to become a healer like my master?"

"You won't," Jemmiah said bluntly. "You are you and your master is also her own person. Stop wanting to be her and try to find out who you are instead."

She saw hurt radiating from her eyes and Jemmiah decided to rephrase what she had just said. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be like someone. It's good to look up to people. Sith, I look up to Qui-Gon and Evla but there's no way I could ever be like them. Now, you can long to be a clone of Leona all you want but it won't make you happy. Admire her, yes. Aspire to be her, no. Just�be yourself."

A sudden flash of inspiration struck Jemmiah like a bolt of lightening. "You know what your problem is? You are so conscious of being compared to Leona and maybe seeming to be found wanting that you are pressuring yourself into making silly, clumsy mistakes. I bet you anything that if you decided to do your own thing and just hang a little loose you would cut any errors you make by three-quarters. Guaranteed."

Dimallie looked utterly astonished. "You think so?" she said hopefully. "It's just I want to do well. I don't want to let my master down. She could have picked any number of padawans and yet she picked me because she felt sorry for me. Perhaps if she'd chosen someone else who was worthier of her�"

"Garbage." Jemmiah cut her off. "I don't believe for a moment that Leona would chose a padawan because she felt sorry for them. And surely the point is that she DID pick you. Dimallie," Jemmy said in desperation to make the girl see, "you aren't that stupid at all. You have a kind heart and you also have a good brain. It's just that you're not giving yourself the chance to use it."

The idea that she HAD a brain of any description other than fluffy and vacuous was completely new to Dimallie. She'd spent so many years hearing from other people about how careless and air-headed she was that she had well and truly begun to believe it.

"There's nothing you can't achieve if you put your mind to it." Jemmiah saw the idea sink comfortingly into the girl's head. "But right now I wish you'd put your mind to healing my leg before it drops off completely."

"Oh, sorry!" Dimallie turned her attention back to her patient.

Jemmiah laid her head against Jonas and closed her eyes. "Make yourself comfortable, why don't you." He smiled.

"You make a good cushion. Want to hire yourself out?"

"I think your boyfriend might object." Rela's voice suddenly appeared from nowhere.

Jemmy looked up in surprise.

"You didn't think we," she indicated Spider, "were going to stay in there a moment longer than necessary, did you?"

"The Wookiees have it well under control now," Spider remarked. "Thanks to your Mace Windu. They're all cowering in the corner convinced he's the Evil One's twin brother."

"He's sure got me convinced." Rela peered at Jemmy's leg. "Ouch! That's gotta hurt."

"It's stuffed my evening up," Jemmiah sighed. "I'm being shipped back home to the temple."

Rela looked stunned. "Hellfire!" she pouted. "There's only two to go!"

"I can't go anywhere like this, can I?" Jemmiah rolled her eyes. "It's the infirmary for me."

"Obi-Wan will be there too." Rela pointed out.

Jemmiah grinned suddenly. "Maybe I can visit him�take the holocam with me."

"Whoa, ladies." Welks covered his ears. "I don't want to hear this!"

"I meant I could show him what was recorded on the chip, not film anything kinky!" Jemmy scolded.

"Right." Welks didn't look convinced.

Lilith Demodae, with Dex and Krelo had somehow managed to stagger their way out of the cantina. Jemmiah stared at Kryztan, feeling a disgusted shiver run down her spine but refusing to back down. She'd be damned if she'd give him the satisfaction of seeing her shake at the sight of him. Instead it was Harkley who glanced away.

"What's the damage?" Jemmy asked Lilith.

"Well," Lilith considered, "there are some extremely angry Wookiees trying to make paper doilies out of the gamblers who had a go at Flint and Rela." She nodded at the redheaded girl. "Your Zac what'shisname has got a small but annoying blaster shot to the shoulder. And all the non humans are holding up religious artifacts at Mace incase he decides to eat them."

She looked at Jemmiah. "I think this is the point where we go our separate ways, kid." She smiled. "Something tells me your master healer is going to come out of there and order you straight back to the temple. But don't worry. I know where to find you when I need to."

"Are you and Krelo going to carry on with the crawl?" Jemmiah asked in a small voice, suddenly feeling very emotional at the thought of being left out of the fun.

"Too right we are." Lilith nodded. "Do you think we'd allow ourselves to let you down like that? No, as the Corellian representatives we are going to party 'til we drop."

"Shouldn't be too far away." Krelo smiled at Dex, whose open tunic could be seen in the dark.

Lilith gave a sly grin at her prot�g� elect. "As you are going back, I think one of us should look after that holocam of yours. What do you think?" she asked eagerly.

"I think there's not a Hutt's chance of me handing this over." Jemmiah patted the little gadget gently as it nestled in her jacket pocket.

"Damn!" hissed Lilith. "So much for honest dishonesty."

"She's got you sussed, Lil." Krelo remarked.

Jemmiah thought about it. "There's a lot of blackmail material on this," she said finally, "and if you think I'm going to allow myself to be on the receiving end of it you can think again."

Jay Abran pounded out the doorway, wheezing and gesticulating like crazy. His voice had still not come back and he was beginning to wonder if it ever would. He blew on his fingers back and forth then balled them, allowing his fingers to open suddenly with a flourish.

"What's that you are saying?" Rela asked. "C'mon. Speak up!"

Jay glared at her and repeated the mime. "Is it a film? A book?" Spider asked cheekily.

Abran held up his fingers in a rude gesture.

"I'd like to think that meant two syllables but I think I might be wrong," Jemmiah sighed.

"What is it he's trying to tell us?" Dex blinked.

Simeon burst through the door and pointed his arm back towards the cantina.

"What he's trying to say," Cates drew in a deep, self-important breath, "is that they are wanting to burn Master Windu for being an evil spirit!"

Dex and Simeon raced back into the cantina to rescue (yet again) the beleaguered Master Windu. As they rounded the corner they saw the superstitious crowd began advancing on Mace waving torches and chanting. �Hmmmrooola...hmmmrooola..."

"What does 'hmmrooola' mean?" asked Dex not taking his eyes off the cringing Mace.

"I think it means 'fire up the barbie, it's time for Mace-burgers!'" Simeon ignited his lightsaber and made a charge at the threatening creatures.

"YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" He leapt off the table, performing a perfect full-twisting punch-front flip and landing in front of the "Evil One" swinging wildly.

The non-humans exchanged looks and glowered. One proffered a burning torch in the Jedi's direction and howled. Cates muttered, 'Sith, that always works in the holos."

A squeaky voice piped, "Alright, I've had enough of this!" A small, harried figure budged its way through the aggravated crowd.

Simeon continued to hold the lot at bay when KABOOOOM!!!! A tremendous explosion ripped through the ceiling of the cantina exposing a gaping hole to the sky and raining debris all over. The spectators turned to see the bar owner standing on the table shouldering a bazooka-blaster nearly as big as he was.

"That was setting number one! Anyone want to see setting number two?" The non-humans exchanged looks again - this time of raw panic - dropped their torches and bolted for the doors leaving the bewildered Jedi behind. The owner climbed down from his perch and groused, "Damn! That's the third ceiling this month!"

*******

"I've called for a transport to take the injured back to the temple. It should be here in minutes." An-Paj remarked as he finished the examination of Leona's patch-up on Biwo. He was more than satisfied that it would do until they could treat him properly when they got back.

He eyed the long line of tired, wounded and ill Masters and Padawans as they stood miserably as if at a military parade.

"Infirmary." The healer motioned to Zac.

"I'll be fine." The young man said through gritted teeth.

"With a blaster shot to the shoulder?" An-Paj's eyebrows did a funny little dance.

"I'll be a better writer for the experience." He moaned. "In actual fact I've composed an ode�"

"Perhaps later." An-Paj hurried down the line. "You're okay," he said to Sybelle.

The girl looked at Griff. She'd never managed to stay mad at him for long. "I'm going with him," she smiled thinly at the smuggler, "because you'll be sending him to get that blaster shot in his rear taken care of."

"Not unless he wishes to sleep on his feet for the next week or so." An-Paj nodded. "Very well."

"Always knew you'd cry enough when the chips were down," Lilith called out.

"I'm not crying. My eyes are watering a bit," the smuggler admitted, "and right now I'd give anything for a nice jar of burn-salve."

"I could rub it on�" Lilith said with enough calculated chirpiness to get Sybelle just a little bit hot under the collar.

It worked.

"Infirmary." An-Paj looked at Letina. "That grenade thing of Master Jinn's seems to have caused a few problems all round. Smoke inhalation can be very nasty."

"Why is it nobody is EVER satisfied?" Qui-Gon demanded.

"Speak for yourself. I've never had any complaints." Dex pinched Krelo affectionately on the side.

An-Paj walked over to Obi-Wan. "Whilst I would classify you as walking wounded I would strongly recommend that you join our happy band of refugees. Those bones are going to need knitting and the sooner the better."

"He's staying, aren't you Ben?" Jemmy insisted.

"I am?" he asked.

"Of course you are. I need someone to tell me what's been going on in my absence." She looked at An-Paj as if in confirmation of the inevitable.

"I'm afraid so." An-Paj nodded as if reading her thoughts. "You are definitely going back. You have two leg wounds and, if I might remind you, a concussion�"

"Yeah, yeah," Jemmy mumbled.

"You two are fine." An-Paj stopped at Rela and Spider. "But I would ask one favor of you should you continue with this quest to get obliterated by alcoholic poisoning."

"Which is?" Rela frowned, about to remind him that she didn't drink.

"Keep a eye on that one." He pointed at Obi-Wan. "I do not wish to see him harmed further still. My job is complicated enough without having the Kenobi factor added to the mix."

Rela grinned lazily. "That's a bit like asking a Corelli lemming not to jump off a cliff, eh scrub brush?" she teased him. "Nevermind. Spider n' me will do our best to keep him in one piece, ok Jemmy?"

An-Paj stood before Kylenn. "You and Dimallie have both rather, er, overindulged this evening. I think it would be wise if you returned."

"I'll go back," Dimallie replied. "I'm not so drunk that I can't help out with little things at the infirmary."

"I'll stay," Kylenn insisted.

"Abran?"

Jay motioned to his throat. "Red Volcano," Simeon said by way of explanation.

"Pheeeeeeew!" An-Paj blinked. "I think perhaps�"

Abran shook his head.

"Awww, let him stay!" Simeon wheedled. "It's so rare that you get to see Jay without having to listen to him."

"Who says you are staying, Padawan?" An-Paj reprimanded the young man.

"I'm the life and soul of any party!" Simeon looked hurt. "You take me away from the equation and people�"

"Will start to enjoy themselves." Jodi smiled. "Let him stay, Master An-Paj, sir. If we run out of credits we can always sell him."

"Provided you could find a buyer." Junine stood with her hands on her hips. "Is there a market for tone deaf, alcoholic contortionists?"

"You've obviously never been on one of those 18-30 club holidays to Korrassi. I could get a job as a vacation rep." Simeon flashed his illuminous smile at her.

An-Paj looked at Leona and knew she wouldn't leave Qui-Gon for the whole of Coruscant. No point in asking that...

"Hmiol's going back with us. Now who is next? Ah, yes. The Prince of Darkness. How's the foot Master Windu?"

"Painful," Mace snorted. "But before you say anything, I am staying put. If you think I want to hear about these two bragging about how they both survived all the cantinas when I wasn't there you can think again."

"Good. A night on the town with the Evil One. That'll make a good story to tell the initiates." Dex laughed.

"Captain Demodae? Krelo?"

"Staying, thanks," Lilith said gruffly as she answered for both. "If there's a final game of Deathmatch to be played then I want in."

An-Paj continued with his head count, informing everyone as to their situations. Really, everyone here should go home and rest. There were going to be many sick individuals come the morning. "Nearly a half of us left." He said in satisfaction as he saw their transport link hove into sight. "Not bad for a nights work, young lady."

Jemmiah looked forlornly at Obi-Wan. "Damn," she said simply.

Obi-Wan returned the affectionate smile and indicated his arms and then her own damaged legs. "You know, between us we might make one good person," he laughed.

"Ben Kenobi, that's got to be the worst chat up line I've ever heard," Jemmy said reprovingly.

Jonas coughed. "Time to say farewell. I enjoyed meeting you all. Very�unusual evening." He bowed graciously. "And if you ever have need of a pillow�"

"You'll be first on my list." Jemmy grinned.

"Don't let his mother hear that." Welks leaned closer to her.

"Hey! Cut it out smartmouth!" Jonas waved a lazy farewell. "Good to meet you, Kenobi. Take care of that girl of yours. And no cavorting with Twi'lek grannies�"

An-Paj started to herd those who could walk onto the transport, insuring that those who could not move under their own power were carried in with dignity and care.

And speed, least someone see them and start pointing at them�

Jemmy kissed Obi-Wan lightly on the lips, trying not to antagonize Qui-Gon again.

"See you later, Ben," she promised.

Qui-Gon gave Jemmiah's shoulders a quick squeeze. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow." He smiled. "This time I expect you to do as you are told and STAY in bed! Do you hear me?"

"Yes sir." Jemmy sighed.

"Promise?"

"Word of a Corellian."

"Fine. Now how about just promising me?"

"That's a slur! You're saying that Corellian's are dishonest!" Jemmiah frowned.

"He's right. We are." Lilith stepped in front of Qui-Gon, effectively cutting him out of her vision. "Take care, Jemmiah."

She whispered in the girl's ear. "I'll be in touch."

Jemmiah was about to turn towards the transport and give her boyfriend and Lilith a final wave when Qui-Gon, like Lilith before him, whispered something in her ear.

"Not if I can help it." He smiled.

*******

The journey to the Fine N' Dandy cantina was made in an almost subdued silence and Obi-Wan's face told a tale all of its own. Rela and Spider did their best to comfort him in their own unique fashion.

"Something wrong, SB?" Rela asked somberly.

"No." Obi-Wan continued to walk with his facing head down to the pavement. "Should there be?"

"You just look a bit, well, sad." Spider hurried to the other side of him.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Garbage." Rela grinned. "You're missing Jemmy, aren't you?"

"No!" Obi-Wan blushed. "I mean yes�no."

"Tut tut." Spider shook her head. "Doesn't know what he's saying. Doesn't know what he's doing."

"She's only been gone ten minutes!" Rela said unsympathetically. "You can't be that lovelorn that you can't go without thinking about her for a few minutes at a time."

Spider giggled to herself, trying to gauge how much it would take to wind Kenobi up. "She has that effect on guys, I'm afraid." She smirked, watching as his eyes seemed to narrow slightly.

"Yeah?" Rela walked at his other side. "She IS pretty. It's only natural that other men might find her attractive."

"Hmmm." Spider acknowledged, all the time keeping her eyes trained on Obi-Wan's troubled face. "Our biology tutor certainly seemed to think so."

Obi-Wan would have dug his nails in his hands if only they hadn't been swathed in bandages. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear this conversation that seemed to be going on around him and over him, yet didn't include him. It was as if he had suddenly ceased to exist. However, he felt compelled to listen anyhow.

"Well, teachers and students. That's kind of normal in this day and age, isn't it?" Rela said cruelly.

"You should have seen that Cornelius fellow at the Debs ball, if what Verity told me was true." Spider added. "All over her like a rash."

Obi-Wan felt stunned. Cornelius? That stuck up dandy? That overdressed Corellian bird of paradise?

"Course, she had to dance with him for a while. I mean, she was his date." Spider explained. "But then Valorum rescued her."

"He's not much better." Rela sighed. "There are some extremely scandalous tales about him for all that he looks so starched and prim.," she snickered maliciously. "Perhaps he was trying to add her to his collection of lady friends. I hear he likes them young." Rela was almost certain she could feel Kenobi's face burn even in the dark chill of night.

"And that Jonas fellow seemed very pleasant," Spider couldn't resist saying.

"He certainly seemed to enjoy dancing with her from what I could see," Rela remarked gleefully.

Obi-Wan had gone from moping to seriously annoyed in a very short space of time. "Stop it." He glared at her. "Just cut that out right now, both of you!"

Rela was taken completely aback at the vehement tone of his voice. "It's only a bit of fun. You are just so easy to wind up! C'mon, every guy has a thing for Jem. She's just one of those people�you know. Sort of iconic."

"You need to loosen up a bit, or else she is not going to keep going out with you," Spider said in a grim voice.

She'd put her finger on the matter that was most preying on Obi-Wan's mind. Why would Jemmy want to go out with him? He knew he wasn't unattractive, in fact some girls would probably have said the opposite, but he just didn't have anything when compared to the likes of Cornelius. And as for Chancellor Valorum� "Stop stirring then," he said stiffly.

"What is the matter with you?" Rela insisted. "It's not as if she really has encouraged any of them."

"She doesn't have to!" Obi-Wan answered hotly. "They just seem to flock to her. And one of these days I'm afraid that one of them will prove to much of a temptation and she will just go and leave�"

He looked embarrassed now, Rela thought as the eyes returned to the ground.

"You've only been going out for a month!" Rela folded her arms. "I can't believe you are so serious!"

"I've known her for six years," Obi-Wan shot back. "She's become very important to me."

"Urgh! Pass the sick bucket," Spider groaned.

Rela didn't know how to comfort him. Didn't know how to tell him that if he loved her as he seemed to think he did then he would have to put up with the admiring looks, the competition and ribald comments of other wanna be rivals. "Come on." She said eventually as they approached the cantina entrance. "I'll buy you a drink and you can drown your sorrows. If you want to talk then fine. If not then you can get really drunk. Does that appeal?"

"Yes." Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes it does."

"Good." Rela clasped a small but friendly hand on his back and guided him forwards. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"You're just sorry that Master Jinn found those somewhat, er, interesting objects in your pockets when they searched us early in the night."

Kenobi groaned. "They read my letter!" he nearly wept.

"It was lovely," Rela said soothingly.

"Really?"

Rela thought about it. "No," she admitted. "It was vomit inducing. And extremely suggestive. You are going to be deaded tomorrow and no mistake."

Obi-Wan saw the happy smile on her face and closed his eyes. Maybe if he shut out the world it would go away and leave him alone�

*******

"How are you doing, Dex?" Qui-Gon asked as he sat down on a seat.

"Hot." Dex frowned, waving at Krelo and Leona as they stood by the bar awaiting their drinks. "I could just strip to the waist."

"Just as well that you don't," Jinn muttered.

"And why would that be?"

"Well," Qui-Gon flicked back his long hair. "You're not as young as you once were. Don't want everyone seeing how hopelessly flabby you've got."

"I am NOT flabby!" Dex replied honestly. "You're the one who is past his prime!"

"Prove it."

"Eh?" Dex asked.

Qui-Gon walked over to Jay Abran and for a moment stood there in quiet conversation. After a few moments Jodi Mullicar handed over a pack of Corellian sabacc cards, which Qui-Gon slid over to Dex. "We shuffle these," he said. "We each get two cards. Lowest one has to remove an item of clothes."

"Speed strip sabacc!" Dex nodded. "I'm game."

"Loser has to streak round the block just like Sal-Fina." Jinn cut the pack with one hand, feeling curiously dare devil.

"Where has she got to, anyhow?"

"You'll be able to find that out when you lose." Qui-Gon smirked.

Dex's eyes gleamed at the challenge. "I hope you've got clean underwear on." He grinned. "Pretty soon now everyone is going to see it!"

*******

Qui-Gon watched as Dex replaced the cards face down on the table again. "Uh-uh." Jinn said softly. "My turn to shuffle them."

"You can't think I cheated?" Dex replied, the corners of his mouth curving upwards ever so slightly. "I've been in your line of vision the whole time."

"Let's just make it fair," Qui-Gon answered. "Can I have the cards, please?"

Dex made small motion of his shoulders to show he didn't care one way or the other. The cards were slid back towards Qui-Gon and the tall Jedi cut the cards repeatedly and deliberately, his eyes never straying from the good humored smile of Master Berlingside.

//I don't trust him,// thought Qui-Gon. //He's too darned self-confident.//

Dex looked at Qui-Gon's fingers as they deftly set about re-shuffling the cards.

//I don't trust him,// Berlingside thought. //I know him too well. He hates to lose.//

"Just like four months ago, eh?" Dex smiled.

"How is that?" Qui-Gon asked.

"The trip to Florizan." Dex made a little face in his Alderaani beer with his finger, remembering only too well.

"Oh, yes. The seaweed." Qui-Gon nodded. "Well, it wasn't too bad. Sal-Fina or Vernice could have been there. Now that would have been interesting." He paused for a moment. "Anyhow, my clump was bigger than yours."

"Was not!" Dex exclaimed in amazement.

"Was so!" Qui-Gon answered, tugging yet again at the opening of his tunic.

"Right!" Dex grinned wolfishly. "Nobody casts aspersions on my manhood. Quit stalling with those cards Jinn and get started."

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Excellent!"

"Okay!"

" Right then�"

"Yes�"

Qui-Gon looked at the cards.

"You can go first!" they both said at the same time.

Dex sighed. "Look, if you want to back out of this then�"

"No I do not!" Qui-Gon snorted. "I've got nothing to hide."

"Ah, so you confess it!" Dex chuckled.

"Give me the first card." Qui-Gon tapped the worktop irritably with a single extended digit.

*******

"You look happy." Krelo said as she sipped at her glass of brandy.

"Do I?"

Leona answered with a rather awkward looking smile; not sure what to make of the fact that her idolization of Qui-Gon was out in the open. In some ways it was a considerable relief that everybody knew how she felt towards the tall Jedi master. If it hadn't been for this little social outing she would have gone on admiring the man from afar indefinitely.

And here she was, on the verge of a date with the man of her dreams�

"I suppose I am quite content, yes." Leona agreed. "I feel a bit guilty though."

"In what way?" Lilith sat down on the other side of Krelo and squeezed herself into the conversation.

"Well, Dimallie went back to the temple with An-Paj, Gethin and the others. I really should have gone with them."

"Don't worry about it." Lilith waved the problem away with an indifferent swat of her hand. "You'd only be tripping over everyone's bandages. Too many healers and all that sort of thing."

"Simeon's still here," Krelo noted.

"You couldn't prize that boy away from an ale glass if you greased his hands with baby oil," Leona replied.

"Oh yeah?" Lilith looked interested. "Just what sort of things do you healers get up to? Or would that spoil things for Master Jinn tomorrow?"

Leona blushed a vivid scarlet.

"I'll tell you one person who'd not happy with his lot." Krelo raised her eyebrows to the table where Rela and her two companions were seated. "Padawan Kenobi seems somewhat glum, wouldn't you say?"

"His evening of passion was well and truly ruined, wasn't it?" Lilith clucked. "Looks like he'll be out of action for a good while as well. Poor frustrated boy. Mind you, I still say she can do better than him if she just looked around a bit."

"I think they make a sweet couple." Leona frowned slightly.

"Sweet? Who wants sweet?" Lilith regarded the poor dejected boy who gave the appearance of only half listening to what Rela was saying to him "What you really want is someone�you know. With a bit of oomph!"

"Oomph?" Krelo laughed. "Sounds like one of those brand name perfumes. NEW OOMPH FOR MEN! FOR MEN LACKING THAT BIT OF OOMPH!"

"Hey, there's an idea!" Lilith's eyes sparkled like a river in moonlight. "I could bottle it and make a fortune."

"I think he could certainly be doing with some oomph." Krelo saw the crestfallen expression on Jinn's padawan and felt sorry for him. "He's going to get into a lot of trouble for all that's happened tonight and he hasn't had any luck in return."

"Randy little vrelt. I'd have him castrated." Lilith grinned.

"Leave him alone." Leona couldn't help but smile fondly at the padawan. "If Qui-Gon were to find out what I interrupted in the cellar of one of the cantinas I think he would only too happily go along with your suggestion to get him doctored."

"Oh, yes?" Krelo rubbed her hands. "And what was this?"

Leona looked from left to right as if in fear of anything getting back to Qui-Gon. "I saw them together. You know�on the games table."

"Bet it wasn't Go Fish they were playing either!" Lilith said sagely.

"More like squash from what I observed." Leona covered her face. "Poor Obi-Wan."

"Sounds like he could do with a drop of that oomph stuff." Krelo saw Kenobi sigh yet again.

Lilith followed her gaze. "Sounds to me like he's got far too much for his own good." She smirked, turning to Leona. "Still, you know what they say. Like padawan, like master!"

Leona's scarlet face became a chameleonic purple.

*******

"Cheer up. Your face will stay like that." Rela threw a segment of lime from her fruit cocktail at Obi-Wan to get his attention.

"Rela, what am I going to do?" he moaned.

"About what?"

"My master. He can't abide the idea of Jemmy and myself being together. I've got no idea why. All I know is that pretty soon one of the three of us are going to say something we will regret and�"

"Hmmm." Rela nodded. "It's difficult alright. Perhaps if you could just prove to Qui-Gon that you could behave in an adult and sensible manner."

"I was." Obi-Wan glowered. "Then somebody went through my pockets, remember?"

"That wasn't actually what I meant." Rela started to chuckle but stopped when she saw the look of unhappiness in his eyes. "What's up?"

A tale-tell muscle in Obi-Wan's cheek twitched and gave away his true feelings. "I keep having this dream," he said in a low voice. "I've had it for the last week."

"What about?" Spider sucked noisily on the straw of her drink.

"I�I'm not sure." He replied reluctantly. "There's lots of trees�I'm there but my master isn't. Jemmy's unwell. I ask her if she wants to try and keep moving onwards."

"To where?" Spider mumbled.

"I couldn't say. But we're trying to get to somewhere."

"And what happens?" Rela asked.

Obi-Wan cast his mind back to the jumbled images that had plagued him for the last seven days now. It made no sense to him whatsoever. "I keep asking her to make a choice." He said, eyes cast down on the table. "She refuses to answer me."

"What about?" Spider persisted.

"I don't know! But I keep saying to her that she has to make up her mind."

Spider blinked. "Not much of a dream," she said eventually.

"It's more than a dream," Obi-Wan answered. "It's just�I don't know."

"One of those weird force things?" Rela offered. "If it bothers you so much you should speak to Qui-Gon."

"No!" Obi-Wan said determinedly. "He has enough problems with us as it is without adding to my woes any further. No, maybe I'm just being silly."

"Hey," Rela stretched out a hand and tousled the bristly hair affectionately; "nobody could ever accuse you of being silly. Jem's really lucky and she knows it."

"But what if my dream is right? What if I can't help her?" he wondered.

"Have you told her about this?" Rela asked him curiously.

"No. And I'm not going to either. It would just upset her." His smile held no warmth in it. "I wonder how she's getting on�"

His eyes flickered briefly over to the table in the furthest corner on the left-hand side where his both his master and Dex were playing cards. Then his jaw nearly dislocated itself in disbelief. "Oh, please no!" he groaned.

"What?" Spider and Rela chorused. "What's wrong?"

Obi-Wan nodded as the game continued, horrified as he saw his master undo his belt and pull his tunic top off over his head. "Sabacc," he said bluntly. "Sith! They're playing strip sabacc!"

"And by the looks of it," Rela grinned, "your master is losing!"

Leona quickly downed the remainder of her Autrial-Slammer to hide her embarrassment. //I really must thank Jemmiah for turning me on to the delicious drink, well for that and a number of other things,// she thought idly.

Glancing across the room, Krelo's eyes widened with interest as she elbowed her friend, motioning to the table where a now bare chested Qui-Gon sat. "Looks like Leona's going to get a preview of things to come," she announced wryly.

"Looks like we're all in for a preview," Lilith retorted approvingly, moving her chair to better face the spectacle.

"Hmm?" The small healer turned to the direction of their gaze. "What are they doing?"

"I could be wrong, though I hope I'm not," Lilith said without turning her head, "but I believe they're playing strip sabacc."

"By the looks of it I'd say it's a speed round at that. Oh good, look, Dex has lost a hand," Krelo added with a leer as the tall blonde master removed his own tunic.

Casting a glance at the healer Lilith smiled, "What, no interest in checking out the wares? Or are you too proper?"

"Not hardly," Leona answered, raising another drink to her lips. "It's nothing I haven't already seen."

"What?" Krelo asked with a confused expression.

"It's one of the benefits of being a healer," Leona answered with a sly smile. "Eventually every Jedi makes their rounds through the infirmary, some more than others mind you, but I can tell you there's nothing of those two that could surprise me."

"You mean you've seen them in the altogether?" Lilith's queried with a hint of envy.

"In all their shining glory," Leona answered. "On a strictly professional level of course."

"I think I chose the wrong vocation," Krelo stated, leveling an incredulous look at the healer.

"I should say so," Lilith agreed.

�Woo Hoo! The masters are getting freaky!� Rela yelled.

�Rela, that�s my master,� Obi-Wan reminded her.

�I know, but I�ve never been on the sober side of something like this before.�

Obi-Wan looked on in utter dismay. What could he do? If he ever found the identity of the joker who'd dosed their drinks they were going to be in serious trouble� "This is turning into the nightmare from hell." Obi-Wan said through an artificial grin that in truth resembled rigor mortis.

"I'm enjoying it!" Spider smiled intently, watching as Dex rid himself of a sock. "What a pity that Jem's not here to see it."

"And she took the camera." Rela hissed in irritation. "How could we miss a moment in history like this and not have it preserved for posterity?"

"I don't think that come the morning they will much care for having their posterities recorded," groused Obi-Wan. Hell, there went his masters left boot� �Well isn�t there something you can do?� he begged.

�Like what?� Rela asked. Actually she was trying to stall. She really wanted to see what was going to happen next.

�I don�t know. Create a diversion,� Obi-Wan suggested.

"A diversion," she stated flatly.

"That's what they say in all the holos." Kenobi pleaded with his eyes.

�Why me? Why don�t you do something?�

�Because you know how to distract these beings and I�ve got to keep an eye on Qui-Gon.�

�Scrub-brush...� Rela started, then she quickly got a look in her eye. �Okay. I�ll do it,� she said slowly with a grin as she quickly made for the bar.

�What have I done?� Obi-Wan asked himself. If his hands had been freed he would have buried his face in them. He just knew he was going to regret this�