A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


Qui-Gon stopped by the hand basin and filled it with cold water. "Stay!" he warned, as if speaking to a misbehaving tree-pup.

Obi-Wan looked hurt. "What have I done now?" he moaned.

"It's what you were trying to do that bothers me. Now, if what I think has happened has come to pass then none of this is your fault. But that still doesn't mean that I am not going to use some fairly drastic treatment." He grabbed Obi-Wan by the shoulders and pushed his head under the water.

The shock hit Obi-Wan like an insect hitting plexi-glass.

Qui-Gon waited seven seconds then lifted the young man's head out.

"Better?" he asked.

Kenobi shook his head.

"You want more?" Jinn enquired.

Kenobi nodded and Qui-Gon pushed his head back under, oblivious to the looks he was getting from the two elderly gentlemen who had just entered the room.

Five seconds later and Obi-Wan came up for air.

"Again!" He shouted, knowing how bad this must look.

Qui-Gon shrugged and once more thrust the boy's head into the basin.

A few minutes later and there was a small gathering of onlookers standing close by as they watched Qui-Gon repeatedly ducking his padawan's head under the surface, all standing with their mouths hanging open.

He turned round to face them.

"It's alright," he insisted, "I'm his master."

"And all because I said I wouldn't wear the thong�" Obi-Wan grinned.

Qui-Gon shoved his face under once again and then bent close to his ear.

"And for that you get to eat the soap." He said.

*******

Jemmiah sat by the bar, listening to the competition entries being read out. As she leaned on the bar surface three things became apparent to her.

Firstly, she'd been drugged for the second time in as many hours.

Secondly, she didn't care.

Instead of feeling helpless and out of control she felt very much in control. A huge smile found its way onto her face as she pictured poor Obi-Wan struggling against what might as well been a straightjacket.

That boy! Something about those blue eyes and dimpled cheeks did funny things to her heart. She wondered how when they were growing up together she'd never considered him at all as anything other than a big brother. And now her thoughts were proving far from sisterly�

Thirdly, she knew exactly where Spider's Dinko had gone.

Knowing was one thing. Retrieving it was quite another.

Jemmy crooked her finger at her friend with the bi-colored hair, beckoning her forward, but Spider was wedged in besides Rela and Simeon, unable to get out.

"What?" Frowned Spider.

"I've found it." Jemmy mouthed back.

Spider cupped her hand against her ear. Jemmiah just sighed and launched into an exaggerated mime routine, firstly pointing at Spider, then making a crawling gesture with her hand and fingers along the bar top.

Spider's eyes lit up. "Where?" She shrugged her shoulders to show she couldn't see it.

Jemmy averted her eyes momentarily wondering how best to pinpoint its current location. She pointed at Leona and then at her own back, looking over her right shoulder.

"NO!" Mouthed Spider in shock.

"YES!" Jemmy nodded frantically.

Spider put her hands together as if praying for help but Jemmiah's only answer was to shake her head and grin. The message was clear: You want it back, you get it!

"Thanks a lot!" Grumbled Spider as she saw Jemmy salute her with a drink of some description before knocking it back in one go.

"What's wrong?" Rela asked.

"The missing item I referred to before?"

"Yeah, I remember." Rela nodded. "What about it."

"I've found it."

Rela punched Spider on the arm. "Good on you!" she replied. "Where was it?"

"Leona."

"What?" Rela frowned.

"It's on Healer Leona!" Spider gulped. "What do I do? I can't just go up there and say "excuse me but can I have my pet Dinko back?" How would that look?"

"She doesn't like creepy things, remember?" Rela replied. "By the time you 'd got your sentence out she'd be half way back to the Jedi temple."

"Oh, fester it!" cursed Spider. "What the heck am I s'posed to do?"

Rela eyed Leona for a moment. "She looks pretty calm. I don't think she realizes it's there."

"Good."

"For the moment," Rela added wickedly.

"Great comfort you are," snapped Spider. "Now what?"

"We'll have to formulate a plan," Rela suggested.

"Sounds good. Let's have it." Spider looked at her red haired companion.

"I don't know! Am I expected to come up with all the good ideas round here?" She laughed. "What happens when they get upset? I know they bite. Anything else we have to watch for?"

Spider looked extremely reluctant to divulge any more information.

"What?" Rela narrowed an eye suspiciously.

"Well�sometimes if they hear or see something they don't like they have this thing that they do."

"And what would that be?"

"Er�they have a certain chemical that they release from a sac on their knees. It doesn't smell too pleasant. In fact it smells downright disgusting."

"Oh, how delightful!" Rela turned away. "Why can't you keep normal pets like everyone else?"

"Who would want me to be normal?" Spider answered.

"Right now? I should think Leona!"

Spider fidgeted slightly. "They also have pincers on their front legs."

"You are one STRANGE girl. I just want you to know that," Rela muttered. "OK. We'll tell Simeon and see if he can help us come up with anything."

They both turned to watch the dark haired padawan as he tried to create a stacked building out of ale mats.

"I don't hold out a lot of hope for your suggestion." Spider sighed.

******

Most of the crowd around Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had headed out into the bar, muttering things like "disgusting!" and "perverted!" and "that, poor, poor boy!"

"It's wicked, downright wicked if you ask me," an older man complained to his companion of similar age. "In my day you never had that sort of thing going on."

"Disgraceful," concurred the other.

"And to see the way that poor boy was being treated," tutted the first. "I've a good mind to contact the temple! It'll make me think of the Jedi in a whole new way."

Jemmiah overheard that last remark and began to wonder what was going on. "Excuse me?" She asked cautiously. "I couldn't help but hear what you just said. What's so wicked? And what was that about the temple?"

"Terrible!" the first man said.

"Awful!" said the second.

"Yes, but what?" Jemmiah persisted.

"There's a great big ogre of a Jedi Master in there doing unspeakable things to some poor boy."

Jemmiah gave a nervous laugh. "Ben? Gods, what's Qui-Gon doing now!"

"When we left him the poor kid was frothing at the mouth," the second said indignantly.

Jemmy didn't like the sound of that. "Was he? Well, perhaps someone should investigate. I knew he had the hots for me but I didn't think I'd get him foaming!" She winked at the two men. "Thanks for the info. You know those Jedi are terrible, don't you think? Get up to all sorts of mischief given half a chance!"

She left the two of them staring behind her.

So, they were still in the fresher. And getting up to "unspeakable" things, eh? Jemmy was determined to find out what exactly these things were.

To do that she had to pay a little trip to the fresher.

*******

Leona leaned back slightly in her seat and could have sworn she heard a small hiss from somewhere. Glancing from left to right, she failed to make out anything that could have been responsible for the sound. Unless it was Mace and his dodgy stomach�

Yes. That was probably it.

Not the sort of thing you wanted to accuse people of at any rate.

Depa was starting to read her results and as she began to pay attention again Leona became aware of the most unpleasant odor she had come across in all her years working in the infirmary.

Her eyes immediately went to Mace.

No�it couldn't have been. Could it? Sniffing the air, she caught Dimallie pulling a face as the smell wafted along the line.

"Urgh! That is revolting!" Dimallie coughed.

"Whoever's responsible for that should see a healer." Dex moaned. "Unless of course you are a healer."

"Don't look at me!" An-Paj glared.

"Or me!" Gethin replied archly.

"Sith, that is pungent!" choked Leona. "Who is it?"

Everyone stared at Mace.

"It is NOT!" he shouted. "Don't look at me!"

"It's usually you." Depa held her nose. "Can I get on with this please?"

Rela fanned the stench away from her and glared at Spider.

"I think Leona upset it," she said.

*******

"Have you had enough yet?"

"Mmmmmmph."

"What was that? I can't hear you with all that frothing?"

"MMMMMMMMPH!"

"Was that a yes or a no?"

"Mmph!"

"OK. Under you go." Qui-Gon ducked the padawan's head underneath the foamy water.

Jinn heard the door whoosh open, followed by a pair of medium high heels clipping against the floor. Hang on a moment�

Heels?!?!?!

He turned round and got the shock of his life.

"What are you doing in here?" He let his voice rise.

"I came looking for you." Jemmy limped over to the beleaguered padawan. "He's old enough to wash his hair by himself, you know."

There was a moments blind panic on the other side of the room as four youngish males engaged at the stalls desperately tried to hasten answering nature's call to get away from the crazy female who had invaded their privacy.

"Don't hurry on my account." Jemmy drawled. "You haven't got anything I've not seen before." She stood on her tiptoes and squinted round one individual with his side to her. "Hmmm. I don't know, though."

"Jemmiah!" Hissed Qui-Gon.

"What? Oh, yes. You must be the ogre!" She giggled at him. "I've come to see Ben. I've heard you were doing unspeakable things to some poor boy and I just knew it had to be you."

"How do you feel?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Me?" Jemmiah blinked. "I feel as if I could quite cheerfully end up naked on the fresher floor, as Rela put it." "That's the drug talking." Qui-Gon looked alarmed.

Jemmiah thought about it.

"No, it isn't." She shook her head. "And anyhow, it's not my welfare you should be concerned about."

Jemmy pointed to the basin which Qui-Gon was holding Kenobi's head under.

"Huh? Oh, Sith!" Qui-Gon saw the little bubbles bursting to the surface and yanked the padawan's head out quickly. "Obi-Wan! Are you OK?"

Obi-Wan spat out a mouthful of suds.

"What HAVE you been up to?" Jemmy grinned. "Is this some kind of padawan/master rite of passage that I've stumbled across or are you just playing in the water like the two big babies I know you are?"

Qui-Gon watched anxiously as Obi-Wan wiped the froth from his lips and nose.

"So, what's wrong with him? He looks as if he's hydrophobic. And considering what you've been doing to him I can't say I blame him."

"I let him have a taste of the soap." Qui-Gon replied tartly. "Somebody was being a smartmouth, not to mention somewhat out of control."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?" Jemmy frowned. "I say lots of smartmouth things and you don't make me�you know, I never really noticed before what a hairy chest you've got." Jemmiah smiled.

"Pardon?"

"You. You've got a really hairy chest. I can't think why I haven't seen it up 'til now." Jemmy eyed him predatorily.

Qui-Gon swallowed. "Keep back!" He raised his hands defensively. "You are not well. That drug has riddled your brain with all sorts of thoughts you shouldn't be thinking."

"Awwww, Quigy's embarrassed!" Jemmy pointed at the blushing Jedi. "I don't know why. You've got no need to be. For an old guy you're in quite good shape."

"You're s'posed to be saying these things to me." Obi-Wan grumbled.

"Oh, it's Ben. Finished playing with the soap? How about playing with me instead?" She grinned.

The remaining man hurried out from the stalls, looking over his shoulder as he went.

"You can get cream to put on that, you know. Go see a healer. It'll clear up in no time." Jemmiah called after him before turning back to her boyfriend. "How about it, handsome? It's your turn to get me in a lather!"

Qui-Gon grabbed hold of Jemmiah and held her over the basin.

"YOU WOULDN'T!" she screamed.

"You watch me!" He pushed her head under.

Obi-Wan stood there in horror as Qui-Gon ducked his girlfriend's head into the soapy water.

"M-master! What are you doing?" he yelped in protest.

"I'm dampening her ardor. I'm not having her wandering the streets pouncing on unsuspecting helpless males."

"But she's choking!" Obi-Wan dried his wet face on his sleeve.

"No she isn't, she's�OK. She's choking." Qui-Gon let her come up for air and instantly regretted it as a huge tidal wave of water hit him in the eyes via Jemmy's hand.

"I take it back!" She yelled. "I think you're horrible! And as for your chest hair, I think Leona's gonna get lost in it!"

It was the last thing she said before her face was plunged back into the basin.

"Padawan!" growled Qui-Gon. "Pass me the soap!"

*******

"Question 6. What advice would you give to a young knight on choosing a padawan for the first time?" Depa Billaba read out from her sheet. "Answer: When installing a new dishwasher, choose a reliable model you should. One that will last for the next eighteen years, hee-hee!"

Simeon only half-listened to the answer.

"Look, leave it to me. I'll get it back, don't worry about it." He whispered in hushed tones.

"Oh, hell's teeth! Now you're making me nervous." Spider half covered her eyes, glancing out between splayed fingers at Simeon's progress as he squeezed his way over towards Healer Leona.

"I sure hope he knows what he's doing." Rela breathed. "Coz I certainly don't!"

Simeon Cates could be considered many things. A kind hearted and affable clown. A gentleman. A part-time drunkard. But when it came down to it the one thing most people did not consider him to be (quite rightly on most occasions) was tactful.

Spider watched the lean and boyish face as he edged closer to Leona, and couldn't help but wonder what the heck his master plan was. Whatever, it had better be darned good�

The apprentice healer leaned in closer to Leona, and cleared his throat to get her attention.

"What is it?" Leona asked kindly.

"Er," Simeon began, "I don't want you to panic or anything, but you have a small furry creature with pointy teeth and multiple legs attached to your back�"

Leona's face rapidly drained of blood. Don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic! she thought desperately. Fear is of the darkside!

Who cares? Her inner voice shrieked.

She stood up so quickly that she appeared a shapeless blur. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkk!" she yelled as if Simeon had set fire to Qui-Gon's over-long robe. "W-where is it? Get it off me, please!"

"Now you know how it feels." Mace grumbled unsympathetically, going cross-eyed as he attempted to stare at his tattoo.

Simeon tried to dodge the dancing arms. "Don't get flustered!"

"He tells me there's a savage creature trying to chew a hole in my clothing and then says don't get flustered?" Leona spun round swiftly in an attempt to rid herself of the beast.

A high pitched, frightened squeal followed shortly thereafter by an irritated hiss could be heard from the area of Leona's back.

"Don't!" Spider stamped her foot. "You're frightening him."

"I'M frightening HIM?!?" Leona hollered.

"And you won't like it when they get frightened." Rela added with a smile.

"I don't like it right NOW!" The healer struggled as she felt two needle-like instruments jab her lumber area.

"What the heck is that?" she screamed.

"It's just being friendly." Rela offered.

"There's no such thing as a friendly Dinko." Simeon replied as Leona pushed past him.

"That didn't help, Simeon," Letina warned.

"Gods, it's a DINKO!" Leona's voice became tremulous; remembering the razor toothed bundle of fur that had attached itself so tenaciously to Sal-Fina's finger. "Somebody get it off me!"

"Undo your cloak," Dimallie urged her master, "and drop it on the floor."

"CAREFULLY!" Spider warned.

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than the most horrendous stench was sprayed into the air.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" Leona gagged. "This is horrible! What have I done to deserve this?"

"You woke up this morning." muttered Sal-Fina.

"Won't anybody help me?" Leona pleaded as she wriggled out of Master Jinn's robe, remembering how tightly she'd knotted the waistband to keep it from trailing the ground. Her fingers fumbled at the belt.

"Help you?" Lilith shook her head adamantly. "You haven't seen the teeth on that thing!"

"Probably NOT the best thing to say." Krelo whispered.

Leona recalled suddenly the reason she was dressed in Qui-Gon's robes in the first place: her dress was pinned together only by six of Jemmiah's clasps. Carefully, yet with all expedition she stepped out of the heavy, dark garment.

The frightened chittering grew louder, almost by her ear.

"Where is it?" Leona could hardly draw breath.

Dimallie watched in horror as the little bat-like creature scurried round the back of her shoulder and into her hair.

"I never thought I'd see a healer cry." Jay smirked.

Dimallie kicked him in the shin.

"IT'S IN MY HAIR! IT'S IN MY HAIR!" Leona hyperventilated.

"Calm down!" Dex soothed.

"It's easy for you to say calm down. You haven't got a predator playing cats cradle with your hair!" she panted. "I can feel it moving!"

Leona closed her eyes and childishly wished the thing away.

It worked, but not in a way she wanted.

The poor little Dinko had become so scared that it had decided to resort to its final safety option.

Hide.

In the wild the Dinko wouldn't stray far away from it's trap door like burrow, camouflaged into the ground and leaves. So when the animal began to fear for its own safety, naturally it tried to flee towards the nearest, darkest space available to it.

Simeon, Rela and Spider stood in a row, eyes wide and mouths agape as the fierce but beloved little pet made a beeline straight for Leona's chest�

*******

"I'm telling you, there's a madman in there murdering a young girl!" the middle aged, balding man panted. "He's got her head shoved into a basin of water."

"In the ladies?" The barman frowned.

"In the gents!" scolded the man. "Why would I want to go to the ladies?"

"Look, this is a cantina. You get all kinds of strange beings in here. Sometimes you don't even know if they're patrons or pieces of mould growin' on the walls."

"Are you going to do something?" The man snapped.

"Like what?"

"She's going to drown!"

"So? A good murder might be just what we're looking for. Bring the visitors in." The barman collected some glasses.

"I don't believe this!" The customer said, running over to the nearest person propping up the bar to impart his news.

"Jedi drowning teenage girls in the male freshers? You should stay off the four star Brandy. It makes you go mad eventually." The barman shook his head. "Some of us sooner than later."

*******

"I am NOT sorry! Let me go, you horrible�man!" Jemmiah spat at Qui-Gon.

"Don't make me use the other bar of soap." Qui-Gon gritted his teeth.

"I HATE you! How dare you push me around like this!" Jemmy was outraged. "And my hair's all wet!"

"Have you cooled off yet?" Jinn asked dangerously.

"Not a hope in hell!" She stamped on his toes with her heels.

"Right!" Qui-Gon's eyes flared. "That is it!"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her head in once again, on this occasion for a considerable amount of time.

"Master!" Obi-Wan complained.

"Quiet." Jinn instructed his padawan. "I know what I'm doing."

Four, three, two, one�he lifted her out from beneath the water, watching as she wiped the soap out of her eyes. Jemmiah stood there, dripping on the floor, shock written on her face.

"Thanks," she mumbled after a while. "I think I needed that."

"You certainly did." Qui-Gon nodded. "Feeling better?"

"If by better you mean do I want to do wicked things to your padawan in the gents fresher then I think the answer is a resounding no." She sighed. "But couldn't you have found a way that didn't involve soaking me from the neck up?"

"It was all I could come up with at the time." Qui-Gon looked at the pair of them.

They were going to look mighty odd when they got back outside.

Jemmiah's hand went to her ear, and then she started to plunge around in the water as if in search for something.

"What is it? Qui-Gon asked.

"I've lost my earring." Jemmy replied mournfully as she peered amidst the suds. "I think it's in here, somewhere."

Qui-Gon paused and leaned over the basin. "I can't see anything." He frowned, leaning in closer. "I'll see if I can�"

Jemmiah grabbed hold of the back of his head and pushed his face into the basin. "Swim time for Master Jinn." Jemmy grinned. "Come on in, the water's great!"

Qui-Gon stood up, his long hair pouring with water. "You are going to regret that," he promised.

*******

"Don't move!" Zac insisted.

Leona swallowed. "I have a Dinko nestling in my bosom. It's not the sort of thing that would induce me to move." She shivered.

"What do we do now?" Lilith pondered. "Spider?"

"Why ask me?"

"You're the creepy crawly expert. And it's YOUR Dinko."

"I've never had to remove one from somebody's chest before." Spider replied. "I'd just leave it for the moment. "It looks happy enough."

"LEAVE IT!" Leona nearly passed out.

"If you think I'm going to retrieve it, you've got another think coming." Mace shook.

"Thanks!" snapped Leona. "It's at times like this you realize who your friends are."

"I've got an idea," snickered Ambianca. "Why don't we send for Master Jinn?" Leona closed her eyes again and promised herself that should she ever turn Sith, Ambianca would be right on the top of her hit list. The only saving grace to this whole affair was the fact that Qui-Gon was nowhere in sight�

"We can't just stand there all night," grumbled Vernice. "Somebody's got to do something!"

An-Paj sighed and dug out the little medical kit from Leona's bag, picking up a pair of gloves. They weren't much protection but they would help, should it be necessary.

"What are you going to do?" Leona gasped.

"What does it look like I'm doing." He replied seriously. "I'm dressing for battle."

"You are JOKING!" Jay laughed.

"This I have to see!" Sybelle smirked.

An-Paj flexed his skilled fingers and put on the gloves, walking slowly over to Leona. "Umm, I suppose I should apologize in advance for this�intrusion of privacy." He said almost shyly. "Think of this rather as a clinical extraction rather than anything more, er, intimate."

"I'll try my best." Leona looked away. "Please just get it out of there."

"OK." An-Paj breathed. "I'm going in slowly now."

The healer began to gradually slide his hands towards Leona's front, trying valiantly to ignore Meri hovering some distance away with the holocam.

In the background there came a distraction in the shape of a soaking wet Jemmiah storming through the crowd, plainly upset, followed by a still bandaged Obi-Wan trying to calm her down. Qui-Gon loitered in the background, receiving a considerable array of disgusted looks from the other customers in the cantina.

"Jemmy, wait up!" Obi-Wan remarked. "I'm sure he didn't mean you to swallow that soap!"

An-Paj stood in surprise with his hand tucked into Leona's dress as Jemmiah hurried over towards Lilith for comfort.

"What's happened now?" Lilith asked.

"He tried to kill me!" Jemmiah pointed angrily at Qui-Gon.

"That's not true," Qui-Gon protested.

"He tried to drown me an then when that didn't work he tried to poison me with a bar of soap!" Jemmiah buried her head in Lilith's shoulder.

"Not before time." Sal-Fina smiled.

"This has been a misunderstanding." Qui-Gon said. "I'm sorry you swallowed the soap but you shouldn't have tried to use that string of Corellian obscenities when you had your mouth full."

"Leave the kid alone." Lilith snapped as Qui-Gon took a step forward. "She's upset enough without you adding to it."

"And what gives you the right to interfere?" Qui-Gon replied archly. "This is none of your business!"

"Sure it is," Lilith growled. "She's Corellian. I'm Corellian. Leave her alone!"

Qui-Gon was beginning to get annoyed, Obi-Wan could tell. Lilith's watchful eye on Jemmiah was starting to get on his nerves BIG TIME. "Jemmiah, come here," he instructed.

Jemmy ignored him.

"There!" cried the balding man who had stumbled into the fresher earlier; convinced he was witnessing an attempted murder. "There, you see?"

A large crowd began to build up behind him, murmuring and whispering as the man pointed at Qui-Gon. "He tried to drown that poor girl!"

"He tried to kill that boy, too. I was there earlier and saw it all."

"And he's beaten him up. Look at the bandages on his arms!"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "N-no. You don't understand. This was done by a bottle�"

"He hit him with a bottle!" cried one of the would be lynch party.

"I did not!" Qui-Gon insisted.

"And look at that one!" The man pointed at An-Paj as he stood with his hand down Leona's cleavage. "It's some kind of evil Jedi cult we've stumbled across!"

"They were at another cantina earlier." A woman called out. "My brother saw them and said he'd never seen anything so degrading and perverted in his life. He showed me the holos for proof!"

Qui-Gon and Dex began to back away slowly. "You have got this all wrong." Dex stepped in. "And we only sacrifice babies and poultry at the weekend."

"That was a lousy joke," Qui-Gon muttered as the crowd dashed forwards.

Leona screamed as the Dinko squirmed downwards and fell onto the floor through a rip in her dress. Spider made a dash for her pet and threw her jacket onto it.

"Gods, they're using live animals!" yelled the man. "Call the security!"

"Time to go, kid!" Lilith pulled Jemmiah out of the way as the Jedi exited the Jumpin' Jax as fast as they could manage.

Qui-Gon and the others tore down the street towards the next cantina, hoping their pursuers would soon lose the trail. As he forced his aging legs to pick up speed, he could just about make out Depa Billaba in conversation with a panting Vernice Ashdal.

"I never knew."

"What?" Vernice asked breathily.

"That Qui-Gon has such a hairy chest!" she gasped.

*******

Lilith walked with a protective arm around Jemmiah in the wake of the fleeing Jedi. Since it was obvious that she was not the one doing harm to the girl, the angry crowd passed them by without a thought. After a short distance, Lilith fished a brush out of Jemmiah's bag and began helping the girl untangle her dripping hair.

While it wasn't something she would have wished on a fellow Corellian, Lilith couldn't help but bubble gleefully inside. Jinn was practically pushing Jemmiah right into her arms, and there were so many wonderful things that she could teach the girl. And since Jemmiah was legally in her majority, she could chose to leave and that stodgy old man couldn't stop her. She'd make a great first mate.

Krelo waited as patiently as she was able while Lilith and Jemmiah did what they could to clean up running mascara and smeared eyeshadow and lipstick.

"Lil, the night's more than half over and the boys are all at least three quarters tanked. Make-up, or the lack there of, is not likely to be remarked upon," the Jedi grumbled.

"Make-up isn't about anyone else, Kre," Lilith responded as she cleverly twisted and braided Jemmiah's now merely damp hair. "You should know that. It's about the person wearing it. I only wear it when I need to feel made-up. Jemmiah has been treated badly this night and she needs to feel extra pretty."

"Qui-Gon is such a-"

"Save the colorful descriptions for a moment when he's sober enough to appreciate your creativity, girl," Lilith interrupted her. "I agree with you. The man's a great kisser, but his parental-type skills do leave a bit to be desired." Demodae finished and stepped back to take in the results.

Jemmiah's hair had been piled atop her head without the use of a single pin or clip and the damp curls dangled enticingly about her newly re-painted face. Lilith nodded in satisfaction.

"It's a shame your boy's nearly as sloshed as his master. I doubt he can truly appreciate your stunning beauty, Jemmy."

Jemmiah regarded the older woman gratefully. It took another Corellian to really understand what was needed at trying times like these. "Thank you. Now, we need to catch up with the others. I've got to start planning how to get Qui-Gon back."

Krelo groaned and Lilith grinned widely.

"That's my girl! It's all in the attitude."

"And some Corellians have more than their fair share," Krelo muttered.

"Hey, it's not our fault that growing up in the Jedi Temple stunted your mental and emotional growth," Lilith retorted as she and Jemmiah resumed the journey to the next cantina. "I'm sure with a little effort you can over come even such hefty handicaps as that."

*******

"Where are we heading?" Kryztan puffed as he tried to keep paces with his master. "Does anybody KNOW?"

"If you're so keen to find out you'd best speak to young Jemmiah." Dex wheezed.

Kryztan's face darkened noticeably. He didn't think that approaching the Corellian girl was the wisest thing to do.

For the moment.

"How did your face get in that state?" Dex wanted to know. "The truth, if you please."

Kryztan opened and shut his mouth like a fish gasping at the side of a river.

"Not here," he mumbled.

"Very well." Dex agreed. "Later. In the next Cantina." He began to run again, his battered and bloodied padawan striving to keep up. "Wherever that is."

Qui-Gon and Leona hid in a nearby alleyway and watched the pair of them run past. Jinn barely resisted the urge to trip the reprehensible Kryztan with the aid of the force. Part of him was desperate to take out his troubles on the apprentice.

But he couldn't. That would make him a very poor Jedi indeed.

"And my failings are already great," he mumbled.

"Sorry?" Leona asked.

Unaware that he had spoken at first, Qui-Gon looked startled. "Nothing," he said with an artificial smile. "Just talking out loud."

"You're thinking of Jemmiah, aren't you?" the healer said quietly.

"Amongst other things." He nodded slowly.

"And they are?"

Qui-Gon leaned his head against the wall. "What is Captain Demodae up to, do you think?" he asked.

"What makes you think she is up to something?"

"A bad feeling, as my padawan would put it." He thinned his lips. "There's some hidden agenda here that I can't make out. Why would she befriend her so readily?"

"She's Corellian." Leona shrugged. "And they�"

"Stick together." Jinn finished. "Yes. The word clannish was invented with them in mind. But there's more to it than that. I don't like it." he finished.

Leona looked surprised. "I never had you down as the jealous type." She regarded him as he dropped his gaze to the ground. "You think she's a bad influence because she's a smuggler, is that it? Or do you feel she's trying to steal your little girl away."

"She wouldn't dare." Jinn muttered. "There's no place for Jemmiah with smugglers and other villains like that."

The healer shook her head, pulling the large cloak about her again. "She is sixteen. Legally she can do what she wants. And do you seriously think that Lilith is so bad?"

"I'm not having her associating with pirates." Qui-Gon said firmly. "There's an end to it."

"And why do you feel so guilty? Because of the little incident in the fresher? Or because you feel like you've been ignoring her of late?"

Leona saw the blue eyes cloud over, even in the darkness of the alley.

"I thought so." She smiled. "Tell her you're sorry. That's all it takes."

"We've done nothing but argue in the last few weeks." Qui-Gon mumbled.

"All the more reason to make it up. NOW!"

They waited as the crowd of pursuers followed on after the fugitive Jedi, running straight past their hiding place without the slightest notion that two of their prey had hidden themselves away.

The silence hung heavy as the sound of feet faded into the distance.

"Tell her." Leona repeated. "Unless of course Captain Demodae is your idea of a role model."

Qui-Gon snorted. "If Captain Demodae thinks she is going to have a say in Jemmiah's life then she has another think coming." He bent down and kissed her slowly on the head. "Your good council I value." He smiled.

Leona tried to think of something appropriate to say, but on reflection YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE did not seem like the best thing to shout out at this particular minute. "Forget it." She replied a shade hoarsely. "I'm used to dispensing advice. I have many years' experience of mending hearts, too�"

Another sound interrupted them: the sound of feminine laughter.

Walking slowly past the mouth of the alley, three shapes presented themselves. The first two were taller: one shrouded in a robe that virtually trailed the ground whilst the second had an athletic gait and a confidence quite evident from the way she held herself. The third figure was a smaller, younger person who by all appearances was deep in conversation with the second of the party.

"�The man's a great kisser, but his parental-type skills do leave a bit to be desired."

Qui-Gon stiffened, trying to listen as they continued down the road but could pick up no more of their conversation.

Leona was shocked at Lilith's brazen attempt to benefit from Jemmiah and Qui-Gon's fight. And to say such a thing in front of Krelo! In front of Jemmiah herself!

She looked at Qui-Gon and could tell that he was thinking the same thing. Why hadn't Jemmiah defended him as she invariably did? Unless of course she agreed with what Lilith said� "Don't worry about it." Leona began, wilting at the sorrowful expression on his face.

He turned back to her. "Now do you see what I mean?" he said sadly.

"Yes." She reached up for his shoulders. "But what are you going to do about it?"

Qui-Gon stood and said nothing for a moment, remembering. All manner of images drifted through his mind at random, such as the return trip from Nargotria when he had injured his head during the traumatic final escape. Yes, he had been in pain on that occasion and yet there were others who had suffered far more. Jemmiah had offered him her handkerchief to bind his wound that day but his surprise had been increased tenfold when that night she had given him her own pillow.

"I won't need it." She had said. "And your head looks like it could do with all the help it can get."

She'd made an impression on him from the start. Whether it was dressing his hair in rollers, setting up an illegal still in the temple gardens or breaking her school rivals' teeth with her enterprising attempts at cookery. He didn't want to lose that.

Looking down at Leona, he got the feeling that here was someone who would also make an impression on his life. Had already done so.

Qui-Gon laughed.

"What is it?" Leona asked, intrigued.

"Rock cakes." He chuckled.

"Sorry?"

He shook his head. "I'll tell you later." He smiled. "For the meantime, I think it safe to leave. But I tell you this much: Captain Demodae has a real fight on her hands."

*******

"Who's got the list?" squealed Letina. "Where are we going?"

"There's four left." Meri raced to the front. "Next one up's The Monastery. Then there's," she delved into her pockets for the crumpled flimsy, "The Blast and Run, The Fine 'N Dandy and then back to the Hell's Chance where we proceed to collapse in a drunken stupor. At least I get the impression that was Jemmy's plan anyhow."

"Where IS she?" Simeon wondered briefly.

"I was asking myself the same thing." Rela looked round. "Simeon, stop breathing through your mouth! They can see your teeth floating in the dark!"

"What about Hmiol?" panted Simeon. "He looks like an emergency flare!"

"He's not the only one," Spider muttered. "That Abran character got 'em all good."

Letina gasped as she saw the towering form of: another Wookiee.

"He's waving at us." Meri slowed uncertainly.

"It's Mungo!" Rela whooped in delight.

"Do we want to know?" gasped Mace as he ran up on their heels.

"Mungo owns The Monastery! He'll stop 'em." Rela crowed. "Quick everyone! Into the cantina!"

"And Simeon Cates sets an all-time Jedi temple record for the hundred meters pavement dash!" He groaned as he forced his abused body to gather speed. "Move your rear, Garos!" He chuckled as he sped past. "Here's another Wookiee for you to upset!"

Mungo rushed the stampede of Jedi inside, but when they got there he waved them all down into the cellar.

"What's going on?" Meri asked in alarm, cradling the holocam in her arms. "Why have we to squash ourselves down there?"

"Sardines, maybe?" Simeon grinned. "I'm all for playing that game. Provided I get to squeeze between Jemmy and Rela."

"Just one thing Cates, you're definitely more of a pilchard." Rela smirked.

"Cheers!" He grunted as he ran down the stairway.

"Squash my Dinko and die!" declared Spider.

Jodi rolled his eyes. "Nobody would want to touch your Dinko, believe me." He grinned.

The lights powered themselves up; coming on with a bang that nearly startled everyone out of their already addled wits. An even bigger clang echoed as the trapdoor closed behind them all.

"What now?" Sal-Fina asked uncertainly, pulling at the neck of her tunic.

Rela cast her eyes over the cellar. It was bare stone carved into an arch shape, cold and grey. Somewhere in the corner she thought she heard the shriek of a rat.

Oh, great. Rela sniffed the musty atmosphere and located a smell that she remembered very well indeed. Rocket Hooch. So called because it had been known on the odd occasion to explode the imbiber should too much be consumed at once. Not surprisingly, it was highly illegal.

Mungo must really trust us, Rela thought fondly as she wandered over to the storage barrels and slid back the tarpaulin. This would get the party going! Who said they couldn't have fun down here? Well, THEY would have fun on the hooch. SHE would have fun watching them on the hooch!

Rela spotted the array of silly party hats and such in the corner that had evidently been left over from some catering job. EVEN BETTER.

Picking up a hat that was too big and clearly designed for a Wookiee head, Rela plopped it upon Simeon's crown and grabbed a plasti cup from a stack in the corner. "Who wants a drink?" She grinned. "It's good stuff!"

"You can't do that!" Dimallie swallowed. "That Wookie's awfully big! I wouldn't want to go making him mad!"

"Awww, don't be such a stick in the mud!" Rela turned the little tap on the barrel. "This is like Wookiee Nectar!"

"I've heard tell that Wookiee alcohol is extremely strong." Obi-Wan remarked.

"I've heard tell that the only one who can drink it and live is Jemmy!" Zac laughed.

Rela nodded. "It IS strong. But you've never lived 'till you've tried it." She grinned wickedly. "I speak from experience. The stuff is divine and if I wasn't desiccated�"

"Desiccated?" Spider frowned.

"Dried out," Rela explained "then I would be joining you."

Simeon and Jay looked at each other uncertainly. "What do you think?" Simeon asked. "It's not really ours to take."

"Coward." Jay muttered.

"You take some then." Tanni growled.

"OK."

Abran pushed his way forward and stopped as Rela handed him his plasti cup filled with Rocket Hooch. "That good, is it?" He asked before putting the cup to his lips.

"Best there is." Rela folded her arms and awaited his opinion.

Abran stood there and waited as the warm glow that spread pleasantly and evenly through his entire body became a raging furnace. He could almost visualize smoke coming from his ears. "AAAAAAGGGHHH!" He put a hand to his throat. "It's�"

"It's what?" Simeon wondered.

"Very sweet," choked Jay. "But not at all unpleasant. "I could get used to this quite easily."

"Let me try some!" Mace wandered forward. "I'm not sure that you padawans should be touching stuff like this if it's at all like�..AAAAAAGGGGGHHH!"

"Told you." Rela felt vindicated as Jay proffered his cup for a refill. "This stuff is well wicked!"

"It's really good!" Mace finally regained control of his larynx.

It was like the sudden flooding of a dam: as if an invisible wall had just been smashed. A huge surge of Jedi robes moved forwards and congregated around the barrels. Rela grinned. Jemmiah's plan was working better than they'd hoped.

Mungo had been trying to offload his hooch for ages and ages but since the selling of the liquor became illegal he had no opportunity to be rid of it. It was a potent homebrew made from an old Wookiee family recipe, and the idea of simply pouring it away down the drains had upset the cantina owner. Jemmiah had offered to get rid of it in the most appropriate way.

The Wookiee agreed readily. He'd never seen drunken Jedi before and the entertainment more than made up for the loss of his alcohol. Jemmiah had confided her plan to Rela some two cantina's ago. Just a pity that she and Qui-Gon seemed to have disappeared. She handed a cup to Obi-Wan and helped him to drink from it, watching as the glow seemed to radiate from his body to his fingers and even his pigtail!

"That's�" he blinked the tears from his eyes, "extremely strong!"

"Yeah? Jemmy can knock this back like you would not believe!" Rela smiled.

"That doesn't surprise me," he coughed.

"MORE!" Simeon declared happily.

"Already?" Rela chuckled.

"Yup!" He nodded, eager for a refill.

"I want some!" Sal-Fina remarked.

"And me!" Dex stepped forward.

"Make that four of us." Kylenn decided to drown her sorrows.

Rela took a look at the Jedi swarm and repressed her smile. She knew about addiction. She'd been there. But this stuff was fairly lethal in large doses. Given the rate that these guys were threatening to put it away, Rela quite confidently predicted most of them would be in the infirmary for the best part of a week getting weaned off�

"Mace, your cup looks a little empty," her eyes gleamed. "Allow me to give you a top up."

This time she allowed herself a smile.

*******

"Ooops!" Lilith peered over her shoulder. "I think we are being followed."

Krelo turned about, although she already had a good idea to whom Lilith was referring.

"DON'T look behind you!" Lilith whispered harshly. "Sheesh, what kind of smuggler would you have made?"

"I don't know and I don't care." Krelo said quietly. "You know you are winding Qui-Gon up. It must be making him mad by now."

"Serve him right," Lilith sniffed. "What say you, kid?"

"Too right." Jemmiah replied, although in a tone of voice that perhaps didn't hold the same vehemence it did a few moments earlier.

Krelo registered the change silently but with a small amount of satisfaction. Lilith was her good friend. She would always wish her well and have good fortune on her side. Sith knew that in her line of business you needed it. But using this girl for her own ends was wrong. Using her to make Qui-Gon feel bad was also wrong. And Jemmiah would be the one that suffered the most, ultimately.

Face it, smuggling may have its thrills and share of adventure but was it an occupation you would wish for any young person?

Krelo kept her thoughts to herself but felt that a small word in Qui-Gon's ear when Lilith was not watching might prove to be advantageous to both him and the Corellian girl they were both fighting over.

*******

"I want another glass." Simeon said with his face frozen at one side through drinking the Wookiee hooch.

"Sith, you look like you've been to have an extraction!" Jay laughed far too loudly. "Why are you speaking lopsidedly like that?"

"Because." Cates closed his eyes. "My left hand side has given up the will to live. My right hand side will take a little more work before it catches up but I intend to give it the chance." He reached for another cup.

There was a large "WHUMP!" sound and Simeon and Jay looked round, painfully slowly with hands attached to their heads as if in fear they might fall off. Hmiol lay on the floor, completely out of it and face down upon his knees, leaving his flat back sticking upwards.

"And here I was wondering what to use as a drinks table." Cates said out the side of his mouth, picking up his cup and placing it on Garos' unprotesting body.

"Cheers, Hmiol. I think we've found your true vocation in life." Simeon raised the plasti cup in a salute and then brought it to his lips. The only problem was that with his drunken tongue and frozen mouth, the potent alcohol just dribbled down his chin in a great big purple river.

"Didn't anyone teach you manners?" An-Paj, who was one of the few who were reasonably sober, walked over to the stricken apprentice.

"You did, sir," Simeon slurred.

"I did, didn't I?" An-Paj sighed. "I didn't make a good enough job of it, obviously. Why are you coughing up purple stuff? You look as if you're hemorrhaging from somewhere."

"This Wookiee drink is very good." Simeon replied enthusiastically. "You should try some."

"No thanks. I have the feeling that there needs to be at least one sober individual amongst the healers. It's certainly not going to be you." He prodded Simeon hard in the chest, causing the young man to stumble backwards a few paces. "And it's not going to be Knight Territ either."

An-Paj frowned disapprovingly as the young healer was holding an utterly captivated Junine, Ambianca and Depa Billaba spellbound with some outrageous infirmary based story, a flushed look to his face.

Simeon staggered back to An-Paj. "Oh. Well, if you're sure you wouldn't like a drink then I'd better have yours for you." He put down the empty cup on Hmiol's back and picked up the spare he had got his master.

"Cheers, Master An-Paj sir." Cates nodded, taking a drink.

The liquor ran straight out of his mouth again, much to the boy's disappointment.

"Simeon Cates," An-Paj produced a handkerchief from his pocket, "if I had wanted to spend all my time cleaning up after helpless, dribbling individuals whose only thought in life was where their next drink was coming from, I would have adopted one of the cr�che babies."

There was another large "WHUMP - WHUMP!" as this time Letina and Sybelle passed out in a sprawling mass.

"Oh, look. More tables." Simeon hiccuped.