A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


Leona was pleased as she followed Rela into the Corellia Spirit. Unlike the dark, dank atmosphere of Hell's Chance, this cantina was a stark contrast. More brightly lit then the last establishment, its owners obviously proud to display it's clean, well-kept interior. A needed change of environment, Leona thought with no small amount of relief.

Watching Krelo and Lilith saunter to the bar, the small healer couldn't help but envy the way the statuesque women seemed to have already put behind them the nastiness of their recent business. Talking and laughing with those around them, including Dex Berlingside, the women gave no hint as to anything amiss. Leona, on the other hand, was not quite ready for any conversation with Kryztan's master and from the look on Rela's face, she too seemed uncomfortable with the prospect.

In unspoken agreement, both Leona and Rela made their way to the far side of the bar, squeezing into a small vacant space. "What can I get you ladies?" the barman stepped up to them.

"A Flame-out please." Leona considered for a moment then added, "and a whiskey."

Rela raised a questioning eyebrow at the healer.

"Something strong to rid this unpleasant taste in my mouth," Leona explained.

Rela nodded in understanding, wistfully thinking how nice it would be to be able to numb her own recollections of tonight's unpleasantness.

"Muja Fruit Cocktail," she told the man.

This time it was Leona's turn to gaze questioningly at Rela.

"I gave up drinking years ago," she told the healer noncommittally.

Holding her whiskey up, Leona offered a toast. "To a night with no more troubles."

Rela glanced around the room as she raised her own glass. "No more troubles." Rela agreed, though her voice didn't sound as hopeful as the healer's.

Holding her breath, Leona threw back her head, downing the whiskey in one uneasy gulp, her face grimacing, her eyes screwed closed. Instantly her throat was on fire, and she choked as the liquor's path burned all the way down, spreading its warmth through her stomach. Watching as the healer's face began to relax Rela smiled.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yes very much, thank you." Leona coughed out a reply.

 "You know I couldn't help but notice you're wearing Qui-Gon's robe," Rela asked with interest.

"Oh, this." Leona smiled shyly, her hand unconsciously brushing the robe. "I had a little accident with my dress and he was kind enough to offer me use his robe."

Rela returned her smile, a thought suddenly striking her.

"There's a tailor shop two doors down from here. I bet we could get the proprietor to fix your dress up in no time at all." Rela suggested.

"Oh, no." Leona startled, clinging possessively to the long garment. "There's no need for that. I can wait till tomorrow. Then I can return it after its been laundered."

Rela merely shrugged, grinning into her glass. I'd bet one hundred credits that she sleeps in that robe tonight. Rela thought to herself highly amusement.

"Rela," a voice called through the crowd. "Where has Jemmiah disappeared to?" Spider asked walking up to the bar.

"I'm sure they'll be along any minute." Rela answered without further elaboration.

Leona stared openly at the rather striking young woman who had joined them. Not meaning to be rude, she still couldn't take her eyes off the large tattoo the girl sported on her shoulder. Whether it was the alcohol she had been drinking or the way the girl moved it really looked as though the large fur spider was moving.

The healer couldn't help but pull back from the sight of it.

Taking notice of the woman's blatant gaze, Spider leaned in closer. "Don't like spiders?" she asked with a distasteful frown.

"No, not at all." Leona said apologetically. "It's just that...ah..I..ah..."

"You fear them." Spider now smiled. That was one of the things Spider loved about the many animals she collected. As small as many of them were, they still managed to strike fear into the hearts of beings bigger, stronger and more intelligent then themselves. "You know, they say the best way to treat a phobia is to confront it." the wild-haired girl said. "I could take you to my place and in a manner of hours I bet we could work out that silly fear of yours."

Spider leaned down to the healer's ear, "I have the largest assortment of arachnids in captivity." she whispered.

Leona couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through her. Seeing it, both Rela and Spider chuckled aloud.

"That's quite ok. I think I'll stick to meditation," the Jedi healer reddened visibly.

"So where's Mace?" Rela asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, he's around here someplace. Still trying to remove my little gift I'm sure," Spider proudly said.

"There he is," Rela, giggled, pointing to the tall man walking from the refresher.

The Jedi Council member's tunic hung askew, the sash that normally held it in place now taking residence a top his head. He had wound the long strip of material around his head in a decidedly poor imitation of a turban in effort to hide the garish tattoo on his forehead.

Lilith was waiting just inside the door when Jemmiah and Obi-wan arrived at the next bar. The blond woman took the girl aside, promising the young man that she would return his date in just a moment.

Lilith took in the dried tears on Jemmiah's cheeks and the hunched look to her posture and mentally berated herself for letting that kriffing slime off as easy as she had.

"I've heard some of the things he said to you, girl. Don't you take them to heart. From what I've heard you've had a hard childhood and you've made some mistakes. But you don't learn from life without mistakes and from what I've seen, you don't make any mistake more than once." Those muddy green eyes, so recently hard with anger and malice, were soft with understanding and sympathy.

"You're Corellian, girl. We're meant to push the boundaries, test our limits and the limits of those around us. It's in our genetics and our culture. Don't ever regret that and don't ever let anyone look down at you for it." One large hand reached out and gently tipped Jemmiah's chin up.

"And do not ever let them make you feel ashamed of yourself. You don't deserve that."

Demodae's eyes glinted again and her voice roughened. "And if that miscreant ever, and I do mean ever, bothers you again, tell Krelo. She knows how to find me." Lilith's gaze drilled into Jemmiah's with deadly seriousness.

"He'll never bother you again after that. And they'll never find the body."

Lilith gave the girl a firm nod, a soft squeeze on her shoulder and then steered her back towards Obi-wan who was sitting waiting for her at the bar.

Qui-Gon walked over to Jemmiah. �We've not spoken since we left the last cantina,� he said, placing the familiar steadying hand on her shoulder. �Do you mind if I ask what Captain Demodae had to say?�

Jemmiah opened her mouth to speak and found that the words just weren�t prepared to flow.

�It doesn�t matter.� Jinn watched the struggle on her face and decided not to press her. �Just promise me one thing. If Kryztan or anyone else for that matter so much as tries something like that again, you will come and tell me immediately. Promise me,� he insisted gently.

She nodded, still not sure of her ability to speak without further tears.

�Good.� Qui-Gon smiled. �There�s no need to be ashamed.�

Jemmiah shook slightly as she remembered Lilith saying almost the same thing to her only moments earlier. �I�m not ashamed,� she managed to get out at last. She stared up at Qui-Gon and her face took on an almost dangerous look. �I�m Sith angry!�

�That�s not surprising.� Qui-Gon tried to soothe but she was having none of it.

�Not with HIM,� she hissed, �with me. Look at me!� She pointed at her running make up and tear stained face. �How could I think of letting anyone see me like this? Sith, I need a mirror.�

She started to rummage through her bag. In the background, Lilith smiled as she watched her.

Obi-Wan walked over to his master, looking thoroughly miserable. He wanted a drink but he couldn�t hold the glass. He wanted to give Jemmiah a hug but he couldn�t because of his bandaged arms. He wanted�

�Master, I need to go to the fresher,� he gulped, embarrassed.

�Well, don�t look at me.� Jemmiah frowned as she tried to reapply her make up. �On certain planets you can get arrested for that sort of thing.�

�I�m not sure I can manage,� Obi-Wan insisted.

�Can�t you hold on a little longer?� Qui-Gon asked.

�No, I can�t,� Kenobi was adamant.

Jemmiah smiled for the first time in a good while as an idea came to her. �Looks like you�ll just have to reach out with the force�� she said.

*******

Jemmiah stood for a while by the mirror in the ladies fresher and took in her appearance. She wasn�t perhaps as pristine as she had been before leaving the temple, and resolutely decided to try and do her darned best to rectify the problem. Sighing, she set to work with her lip-gloss.

Lilith entered the room a moment later and went to one of the hand basins nearby. She bent over to throw some water onto her face and closed her eyes as the cold hit her. �Burning stars, I needed that,� she said, blinking. �It�s kinda stuffy out there. Not that anyone else�s noticed, I�ll bet.� Lilith stifled a laugh. �How�s the head?�

�Painful.� Jemmy confessed. �Just don�t tell anyone or they�ll have me chained up in �An-Paj Towers� for the next week. I�ll take some pills. They should help in a bit.�

�With alcohol?� Lilith frowned. �Are you sure that�s such a good idea?�

�I�m tired and my head hurts. If that�s what it take to keep me on my feet then that�s what I�ll do. I�ll be fine as long as Leona doesn�t find out.�

�It�s your head, kid.� Lilith shrugged.

�What�s going on out there? Have they started the other part of the game?�

�Not yet. Biwo�s arguing with Ashdal and Billaba about who really won that silly three-legged race. He says they cheated. Krelo�s having a private drinking contest with Sal-Fina and Dex Berlingside. Your friend Simeon�s just been sick all over Hmiol. Windu looks like he�s a member of some seedy strip artistes group with that belt wrapped round his head. Spider and Rela are talking tattoos. Qui-Gon and Leona are getting on rather well.� She paused. �And Sybelle and Griff are having a ding-dong argument about something trivial no doubt.�

Jemmiah�s face hardened. �Don�t mention Sybelle to me. Some friend she turned out to be. Pairing herself off with Ben so that�� she stammered as she tried to find a word, ��that THING would end up with me. She knew what he was up to! I just bet you she knew he was going to try something.�

�Some times you find out late in the day that the people you considered friends aren�t quite as well disposed to you as you first thought.� Lilith frowned. �But I don�t think Sybelle would willingly let you walk into danger.�

�I do!� Jemmiah was insistent. �She�d better stay out of my way, or Adi Galia�s going to be picking her teeth off the carpet for the next week!�

Lilith laughed at the image. �Oh, you are a fiery creature, aren�t you?�

�I try.� Jemmiah murmured as she started to fix her hair. �And I�ll be damned if I�m letting either her or Kryztan ruin my evening.�

�That�s the spirit!� Demodae nodded approvingly. �Can�t keep a good Corellian down for long!�

Jemmiah regarded Lilith for a while as the big woman sought a towel on which to dry her face. �You seem to do OK for yourself.� She paused. �You know how to handle yourself well when things get rough.�

�So do you, from what I�ve seen,� Lilith remarked, her voice muffled as she dried her nose.

�But not as well as you.�

�Kid,� Lilith looked up, �That�s purely because I�ve been around and seen a lot more of the big bad galaxy than you have. You�ve spent your most recent years locked away with only the Jedi for company. I wonder how you stand it.�

�They�re OK,� Jemmiah looked at her feet. �Well, most of them.�

�You mean you really like Qui-Gon telling you what to do? Being home when Evla wants you to be home?�

�They only do it because they care,� Jemmiah said cautiously.

�I�m sure they do. Don�t get me wrong.� She held up her hands. �I think your Master Jinn�s not too bad myself. But is that really how you want to spend the rest of your days? You may as well be in a convent!�

Jemmiah laughed. �Hardly. That�s what got me into this whole mess in the first place. And anyhow, I have my forms of escapism.�

Lilith watched as the girl shoved two tiny headache tablets into her mouth and then bent over to take a drink of water. �And what would that be?� she asked, interested.

Jemmy looked at her a moment as if trying to take her measure. �If I tell you, this does not get back to Qui-Gon," she pleaded.

�Honor of a Corellian.� Lilith crossed her chest elaborately.

�Your heart�s on the other side.� Jemmiah smiled, pausing before divulging her secret. �I ride swoops. I�m quite good, so I�ve been told.�

Lilith seemed impressed. �Is that right?� She raised an eyebrow. �Where do you practice?�

�There�s been a course laid out for some years now. It�s never been an officially recognized sport on Coruscant, but it�s been gaining in popularity the last few years and a lot of the youngsters are getting into it in a big way.� She grinned. �Meri�s the only one who knows about my little hobby. She sometimes watches me practice. I�ve been saving up out of my allowance, amongst other things, to buy my own swoop instead of riding other people�s bits of junk.�

�Good for you kid!� Lilith returned the grin.

�I�ve got my eye on one in particular. It�s pricey, though.�

Lilith chewed on her lip for a moment. �Maybe I should stop off and watch you practice one of these days. If you�re really as good as you say, I�d hate to miss out on a budding career. After all, I have to keep a watch over my investment.�

Jemmiah frowned. �Investment?�

�Sure,� Lilith nodded. �Swoops are big on Corellia. I�ve always had a bit of an interest in it. Matter of fact, I used to ride �em myself, in my youth.� She smiled at the memory. �Just for the hell of it. I wasn�t what I would call champion material. So, if I were to become your sponsor��

The Corellian girl�s mouth nearly hit the floor. �Why?� she asked. �Why me?�

�Because I�ve been watching you since Krelo first pointed you out. Whilst I�m hardly over the hill and in need of a bath chair I am looking to pass on a few tricks of the trade, as it were. Even if you didn�t fellow me into the profession.� She studied Jemmiah�s amazed expression. �I would have the satisfaction of knowing that my prot�g� was doing OK for herself. Think about it,� she enthused, �I could teach you how to pilot a spacecraft. I could teach you self-defense. There�s a whole load of stuff I could tell you. Then you won�t have to rely on the Jedi for the rest of your life. If Qui-Gon can have an apprentice then so can I.�

�What about Evla and Master Jinn?�

�It can be our little secret.� She smiled. �They don�t have to know. I�m on Coruscant frequently, legitimately or otherwise.�

Jemmiah blew out a breath that she felt she�d been holding forever.

�Kid, if you want to ride swoops, don�t let anyone stop you. In fact, I intend to see that you do.� She stuck her chin out defiantly. �Don�t take any nonsense from ANYBODY. Not even your Master Jinn.�

Lilith held out her hand. �Do we have ourselves a deal?�

Jemmiah looked somewhat stunned but took barely a few seconds to consider. �Deal!� She grinned, shaking Lilith�s hand.

*******

Krelo leaned up against the bar and waited for the bartender to pour the next round of drinks. Dex and Sal-Fina both eyed her suspiciously. They were both quite drunk, while Krelo, who had been drinking rather freely all evening only had a small buzz. She smiled and picked up her shot glass.

"Bottoms up, people."

She tossed back her drink and slammed the glass upside-down on the bar. Sal-Fina frowned. She was having trouble thinking up drinks to throw at the unaffected knight. The insufferable woman had taken everything Sal-Fina and Dex combined could think up and was putting it down like water. The worst thing about it all was that Dex was finding it amusing while it only served to infuriate Sal-Fina even more.

"Barkeep, how 'bout a round of Shrinking Heads?"

Sal-Fina and Dex both blinked, a look of surprise painted openly on their faces. The bartender shook his head, implying that he was unfamiliar with that particular drink. Krelo sighed and gave him the ingredients and their proportions. A few minutes later, the tall glasses filled with a viscous yellowish-blue liquid faced them. Krelo picked up her glass, motioning to her companions to do the same.

"Now, my friends, the point of this particular drink is to get it all down, in one take, without choking or passing out." She noticed Lilith and Jemmiah coming out of the fresher out of the corner of her eye and winked to her friends. Lilith burst into open and unrestrained laughter when she recognized the drinks on the bar. They had been concocted by a man on their home planet whom many considered a bit suicidal. Only a select few people had been able to withstand the effects of a Shrunken Head, but those that did were hooked for life. Dex and Sal-Fina gingerly picked up their glasses.

"I recommend that you both take a seat," Krelo suggested. She smiled wickedly and raised her glass. "Bottoms up!"

All three drained their glasses; all three with their eyes screwed shut as the powerful, incredibly sour liquid pored down their throats. Krelo slammed her glass on the bar. Sal-Fina and Dex both hit the floor, glasses still in their hands. Krelo smiled and shook her head, clearing away the mist that had threatened to envelop her mind. "Ohhhhh, that was a good one!" She turned her head and started to say something to her two drinking partners and smiled broadly at the site of them sprawled on the floor.

"Hmmmm . . . guess some people just can't hold their liquor." She shrugged. "Barkeep, gimmie another one of those . . . "

*******

"I SAW it! We were coming around the corner, and you put your hand over the bottle! You KNOW you did!"

"I did nothing of the kind!" Billaba shot back.

"Lying is unbefitting of a Jedi!" Far said flatly.

Depa turned smugly to the woman beside her. "Did you see me do it?"

"No." Ashdal replied, shaking her head.

"And I know I didn't do it, so it's two against one. We win."

Far knew when he was beaten. Or at least, when he wouldn't be able to get someone to see the truth. He stared at them for a moment, then headed for the crowd that was gathering for the second half of the game.

*******

One moment, Garos had just been sitting there, and the next...

BLRAAHA!!!!!

A stinking, warm goo covered him, and Simeon burped. Hmiol wiped the vomit off his face in astonishment, the turned and faced Cates, who simply burped. Hmiol's finger hung menacingly in the air, and his head shook with rage.

They hung there like that for a moment; Garos trying to come up with an insult that fit the moment. He couldn't, so instead, he said, "You just watch yourself, Cates."

With that, he turned and headed for the fresher to clean himself off, never dreaming what he'd find there...

�Shouldn�t we restart the game?� Kylenn said anxiously.

�You�re keen, all of a sudden.� Letina remarked. �Anyhow, we can�t begin until Hmiol comes back from the fresher.�

�Yeah, good one Cates!� Jodi elbowed the somewhat worse-for-wear padawan in the ribs.

�You want me to be sick on you too?� he complained.

�Did you pick Garos on purpose?� Meri asked, watching as Jemmiah tried to hold Obi-Wan�s drink to his mouth. �Can you vomit at will?�

�Who is Will?� frowned Simeon.

Meri and Letina exchanged glances.

�He�s gone!� They chorused.

*******

�There once was a young lady Sith
Whose virtue was mostly a myth,
She said, �Try as I can
I just can�t find a man
That�s it�s fun to be virtuous with!� �

�Bravo!� Jemmiah clapped her hands at Lilith�s ditty. �That was good! ANY MORE?�

The tall smuggler laughed as she knocked back a shot of whisky. �Plenty more. How about this one: �There once was a man from Badeeling
Who had mirrors all over his ceiling
And what he did there
I would not like to swear
But I�ve got a very bad feeling.�
�Hhhhhmmm-hhhhmmmm!� Qui-Gon cleared his throat.

�Hello, Master Jinn. Didn�t see you there.� Lilith winked at Obi-Wan, who sat forlornly looking in the direction of his drink. He felt completely miserable. Not to mention hungry.

�So it would seem.� He smiled at Jemmiah. �How�s he doing?�

�HE has a name,� Kenobi grumbled under his breath.

�Grumping.� Jemmy replied. �I�ve offered to help him but he�s too stubborn.�

�I don�t need babying,� he moaned.

�That�s not what you suggested earlier when you told me you couldn�t go to the fresher unaided!� Jemmiah smiled. �But never mind. I have something which I think you�ll find uplifting!�

Kenobi went scarlet at her pun but put on a brave face. �What?� he asked dejectedly.

Jemmiah fished in her bag once again and pulled out a large bar of chocolate.

Obi-Wan�s eyes lit up. �You are not just a pretty face.�

�I know,� she replied. �I�ve got a pretty everything.�

Qui-Gon shook his head at her lack of modesty.

�It�s true.� She objected as she caught the look. �I am walking proof that the Gods exist. How could anything so charming, witty and wonderful as myself come about by chance?�

�Do you actually believe any of what you�ve just said?� Qui-Gon stared at her.

She paused. �Partly. I HAVE got a wonderful everything!�

�It�s not something I�m likely to find out in the near future.� Obi-Wan sighed to himself. �How am I s�posed to eat this?�

�I�ll break a strip off for you.� Jemmiah grinned as she opened the paper and snapped off a row of squares. �Open wide.�

Qui-Gon watched in distaste as Jemmiah hand fed his padawan. Judging by the expression on his face he was really enjoying himself. Even despite of his broken hands.

�I could get used to this,� he sighed again.

�Well, don�t. I�m only doing this because you crippled yourself on my behalf.� Jemmy laughed as he attempted to lick the chocolate off her fingers.

�Stop that, Padawan!� Qui-Gon muttered.

�Oh, he�s not doing any harm.� Jemmiah smiled. �Are you, Termite? It�s not as if anyone is looking at us�� Jemmiah made the mistake of glancing over in the direction of the other padawans.

They were all staring right back.

�Oh, well.� She shrugged, looking down at the big bar of cocoa. �Now everyone will want some.�

Standing, Jemmiah waved the bar in the air. �Chocolate�s on me, guys!�

As Obi-Wan�s face took on a faraway look, his master leaned over.

�Don�t even THINK about it.�

*******

When Hmiol returned from cleaning himself off, he returned to the bar to find that everyone was waiting on him. But first.... he was thirsty! "Hey, I'm gonna go grab a drink real quick, anybody want anything?"

There was a chorus of orders, ended by Simeons "Riptide!" He winked at Garos.

Garos stormed toward the bar. That Sithseeker! He ordered the drinks. And then a thought occurred to him. "Hey," He turned to the bartender, "Wanna make a few credits? Just add a little Yenera extract to that Riptide..."

He grinned. Let's see how Cates likes this...

�If we don�t start the next part soon,� chirruped an extremely happy Spider, �I am going to stand on the table and sing the �Rear to here� song!�

�Might just do that anyway.� Smiled Jemmy as she attempted to feed Obi-Wan the last remaining bits of chocolate. She frowned at him. �You�ve got some at the side of your mouth,� she said, �I s�pose I�ll have to do it all for you.�

I wish I had the use of my hands, he thought with a huge smile on his face.

Qui-Gon looked at him sternly.

[If you want them to remain part of you I suggest you stop thinking things like that!]

Obi-Wan�s head snapped round in shock.

[Master?!]

[Your shielding gets very shoddy from time to time] Qui-Gon scolded.

[You heard me? ]

[Oh, yes!]

[I only meant that I wished I could use my hands to wipe my face�]

[I know what you meant. Now stop drooling and avert your eyes so that they actually look Jemmiah in the face!]

[Sorry, Master.]

Pause.

[Master?]

[What?]

[I�m still hungry ]

Qui-Gon sighed. If it would distract his padawan from temptations of another sort then he was willing to go foraging for something edible. Hormones and chocolate were a terrible mixture� �I�ll go look for something,� he replied. �Don�t say I�m not good to you.�

�You�re the best master in the whole galaxy.� Kenobi smiled.

�This is true. But if you think I�m leaving you two un-chaperoned you�ve got another think coming.� He turned to Leona, who was busy sipping her Flameout. He noticed she was looking a tiny bit flushed. �Would you mind keeping an eye on these two whilst I�m gone?� he asked.

�Of course, anything to oblige.� She smiled a little too widely.

�Master!� Obi-Wan protested.

�I�m sorry, Padawan. It�s not that I don�t trust you, it�s just�I don�t trust you!� he finished.

�Master Jinn, what can we get up to whilst his arms are in a sling?� Jemmy challenged.

�YOUR hands are free.� Qui-Gon retorted. �See they don�t get up to anything.�

With that, Qui-Gon went in search of any eatables.

*******

Hmiol smiled dangerously. This would sort Cates out well and good!

Yenera extract was a highly potent mixer used by Devorians to add to whisky. It also had unfortunate side effects to non-Devorians. There had been a well-documented case of one human gentleman who had been found in a compromising situation with a statue in one of Coruscant�s busiest walkways. Both the statue and the man in question had been�er�unclothed. Basically, it was an extremely volatile substance that tended to leave the imbiber with an overwhelming urge to rid themselves of their garments. Not to mention a tendency to chat up anything. Even plant pots and light fittings.

Simeon was going to regret the day he�d messed with him!

He watched as Cates retrieved his drink from the bar and wandered back towards Obi-Wan and his girlfriend. Grinning wolfishly, he turned to the barman and ordered a small bottle of Yenera.

You never knew when you might need it.

What Garos didn�t see was the conversation that had taken place between Qui-Gon and Simeon�

�I�m sorry, Master Jinn.� Simeon tried to mop up some of the drink he had been carrying from the Jedi�s tunic top. �I didn�t see you.�

�You can hardly see in front of your nose.� Qui-Gon replied acerbically. �Some fresh air would do you good. You can make up for it by helping me locate a local eatery that provides take-outs.�

�Easy.� Simeon nodded. �Hope you like Takkini chips, though.�

�I�m sure they will be most pleasant.� Qui-Gon steered the apprentice healer towards the door. �Put your drink down.�

Simeon looked momentarily baffled before searching for someone to give his drink to. If he couldn�t enjoy it, someone else might as well have the benefit� �Master Biwo.� Simeon bowed slightly.

�Yes, padawan?�

�Have this Riptide. I�ve been called away on official duty,� the thumbed his nose quizzically, �and I might be gone a while. Enjoy.�

He left with Qui-Gon towing him along. Biwo stared after the young man, drink in hand. Shrugging, he carefully took a few tentative sips before deciding he liked it.

Garos Hmiol turned back just in time to see his master knocking back the dregs of Simeon�s doctored drink, and promptly turned a very nasty shade of white.

Sith!

How would he get out of this?

*******

�I think we should make an attempt at�� Krelo looked about in dismay. �Where IS everyone?�

�They�ve gone,� Lilith shrugged.

�Gone?�

�Well, somebody,� she pointed at Obi-Wan�s guilty face, �mentioned the word FOOD and they started to file out in search of something to stuff their greedy little faces with."

�Sorry,� Kenobi sighed.

�You wouldn�t have lasted five minutes as a smuggler, my lad,� Lilith shook her head. �What would you do if you had to take a last minute run out towards Kessel with all the might of the Republic Customs Ships screaming down on you? Would you ask them if they minded very much not boarding you until you had fixed breakfast?�

�Probably.� Jemmy smiled her prettiest smile at Kenobi. �He�s only got one thing on his mind.�

�I wouldn�t say that.� He winked at her.

She leaned forwards again. �You�ve still got some chocolate at the side of your mouth.�

�Why don�t you take it off for me then?� he invited.

She raised an eyebrow and proceeded to kiss him in full view of Leona. It was quite obvious that she was waiting to be told off, but the warning never came. The healer had simply decided that in the light of what had happened earlier they might as well just be left to it.

Rela sat down besides them.

�Where�s Qui-Gon?� She frowned as the couple continued to smooch in front of her. Jemmiah didn�t even bother to reply. She pointed with her hand towards the doorway.

�Out?� Rela wondered. �Damn. I was going to have that little talk you asked about.� She stared at the passionate twosome. �I think he needs to hear it pretty soon by the looks of things.�

�What talk?� Leona asked hesitantly.

�The one where I, politely, tell him to leave them alone and back off.�

Leona looked aghast. �You can�t do that!�

�Why?� Rela replied. �They�re serious about each other. Don�t they look serious to you?�

Leona gulped. �Yes. They certainly look like they mean business.�

�Exactly.� Rela looked justified. �I have been asked to give my expertise and tact in this matter and I intend to do just that.�

�How?� Leona asked.

�By embarrassing the heck out of Qui-Gon!� Grinned the red haired girl. �And believe you me, when it comes to embarrassing Qui-Gon, few can compete with my good self!�

Rela looked about. If Qui-Gon had gone out, so would she. She rubbed her hands. Discussing the birds and bees with Mater Jinn was just too good an opportunity to miss! �I�ll be right back.� She smiled, looking round for back up. She found it in the shape of the distinctive looking Ms. Pippage.

�Spider!� She called. �Let�s go.�

�Where?� Spider sauntered over towards Rela wearing an intrigued look.

�To wind up a Jedi Master! Two heads are better than one.�

�But the game��

�Can start without us. Do you really want to kiss Mace again so much?�

�Point.�

�And anyway, this is going to prove MUCH more fun!� Rela laughed as they both marched towards the door.

Leona sighed as the two girls walked away. Now she understood why her master had said that she�d been born old. As they left through the double doors, the last thing she heard Spider say was: �D�you think I might interest Qui-Gon in a nipple ring?�

*******

Krelo took in the reduced number of participants in round two of the game.

Harkley wasn�t there, for obvious reasons.

Jemmiah didn�t want to take part any more. Neither did Kenobi. They were playing their own private version in the corner of the room.

Dex Berlingside had somehow managed to drag himself onto his feet, although she didn�t know what laws of gravity he was using to do so. Sal-Fina had tried to gamely follow suit but had got as far as the table nearest the bar before the ground called her too loudly.

Simeon was missing, as was Qui-Gon, Jodi, Bai and Tanni.

Wonderful, she thought. That increased her chances of picking someone like Fin-Tial� She turned her back and waited until the remaining contestants staggered round.

�Seven.� She called.

And the lucky man was�

Jay Abran.

He smiled his usual bright smile as he almost skipped up to reach Krelo. He was absolutely brimming over with confidence and delight.

Well, thought Krelo. It could have been a LOT worse.

�Come on then, Mr. Wonderful.� Sighed the knight. �Let�s see how you perform under the spotlight.�

There was a chorus of whoops and snickers as Jay almost had the decency to look abashed. Stepping up towards Krelo, the bronze-haired young padawan began to wrinkle his nose slightly.

What was that smell?

Krelo saw the display and frowned disapprovingly. �I showered before I left the temple.� She said in defense, watching Lilith�s muddy green eyes crinkle at the corners with amusement.

�I...I�m sure you did.� Jay said. �It�s not you. It�s your perfume.�

�What�s wrong with it?� Krelo demanded, now feeling more insulted then ever.

�It�s very�flowery.� Abran tried to hold back the tickle in his throat.

�So?�

�I have plant allergies.� Abran wiped at his running eyes. �You�re perfume is VERY strong.�

�I told you it was cheap and nasty,� Lilith warned.

�Yeah, yeah.� Krelo snapped. �Look. Let�s make this as quick as possible and then we�ll both be satisfied.�

There were more titters from the padawans.

Jay moved as close as he dared, but it wasn�t close enough. He looked like a fish gasping for oxygen at the side of a stream. Krelo clamped her lips down suddenly. She�d had enough of this clowning about.

Abran couldn�t quite get his mind on the task at hand because of the overwhelming urge to sneeze. All the time Krelo was kissing him, his eyes were screwed up as if somebody had set fire to his tunic bottoms. It was becoming more and more unbearable�

What is wrong with this guy? Krelo wondered as she found herself kissing what might have been a brick wall�

�AAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!�

The sneeze, when it came, was a monster one.

All over Krelo�s face.

�E-YUCK!� screamed Meri. �That is so disgusting! Get me a cloth!�

�Thanks.� Krelo tried to wipe futilely at her face.

�Not for you, for the holocam.� Meri replied. �He�s sprayed the lens.�

�I told you, Krel,� Lilith smiled. �Never put on cheap perfume.�

Krelo glared.

Krelo sat down with as much dignity as she could muster, under the circumstances. A face covered in mucus was not something to be ignored lightly. As Jay Abran steadied his nose and prepared to face up to his next victim Krelo couldn�t help but scowl at the young padawan.

What was so wrong with her perfume?

Jemmiah smiled as she watched them all shuffle round again, weaving in and out like a demented caterpillar. Kylenn was looking somewhat agitated. Or desperate, Jemmiah couldn�t quite make up her mind which. If there was any justice here�

She nudged Obi-Wan in the arm.

�OW!� He scolded. �Careful!�

�Sith, Ben. I�m sorry!� Jemmy apologized. �Does it hurt?�

�It does now,� he groaned.

�I�ll just have to make it up to you.�

His eyes glinted. �It�ll have to be something pretty special. I�m in a lot of pain.�

�I�m sure I�ll think of something.� She promised. �It depends on what you can do here.�

�What do you mean?� Kenobi frowned.

Jemmiah nodded at the weaving rows of masters and padawans. �Can you help Jay to pick Kylenn?�

�Why?�

�Let�s just say I think it�ll prove very interesting.� She grinned. �Well?�

�I can try. But in theory I can�t mindspeak to Jay. I can only put out subtle promptings.�

�Then start prompting.� Jemmy smiled.

�You owe me.� Obi-Wan winked.

He watched Kylenn sway a little, but it didn�t particular look out of place amongst all the other drunken Jedi. She kept darting secret little pleading looks at Jay�s back. And she won�t admit she likes him in that way, Obi-Wan thought gleefully! He stretched out with the force, trying to place Kylenn�s line number in Jay�s head.

[NUMBER FOUR] Kenobi thought at Abran. [YOUR LUCKY DICE NUMBER. NUMBER FOUR]

Kylenn watched carefully, bearing Jemmiah�s advice in mind about how to proceed should she be picked. Her face felt rather hot and flushed, and she began to wonder if perhaps that last Purple Twilight had been a good idea or not�

Jay Abran couldn�t begin to understand why he had the urge to call out number four. It was his lucky dice number, but for some reason he had the sneaky suspicion that someone was trying to prompt him to choose it, and that bothered him. He was on the verge of calling out number ten, and then thought the better of it.

What the heck.

�Four,� he called.

It was all Jemmiah could do to stop herself from crying out in delight.

Kylenn didn�t look too unhappy either.

Jay had no sooner turned round than he felt himself being attacked by someone or something. The shock registered on his face when he realized whose lips were clamped down on his.

�Mmmmmmm!� He waved his hands helplessly as Kylenn refused to let go of him.

�I don�t believe what I�m seeing!� Obi-Wan laughed from the sidelines. �Who would have thought it. Sweet little innocent Kylenn making a move on Jay Abran!�

�Well, she�s been well primed for it.� Jemmy replied as Jay relaxed somewhat and started to enjoy himself. �Have you seen how much she�s had to drink in the last few hours? And she�s not used to it, either. I think it�s all gone to her head.�

�She is going to be ill tomorrow.� Obi-Wan agreed. �But who would have thought she�d have had the courage to actually jump him!�

�I think that was maybe something I said.� Jemmy flashed her best smile at Obi-Wan. �But does it look like Jay�s complaining?�

�Not really.� Kenobi agreed. �But she is really going to regret doing that tomorrow.�

�Too right.� Jemmiah agreed as she indicated the holocam in Letina�s possession. �Especially as we have the unedited highlights captured for all posterity!�

As Jemmiah spoke Kylenn finally released her grasp on the still startled looking Jay.

�How was that then, Kylenn?� Meri called from the line.

Kylenn opened her mouth to answer� and let out an uncharacteristic drunken belch. Obi-Wan had never seen Jay Abran look so deflated in his life! If Kylenn was going to regret her untypical behavior in the morning there were plenty of others who had claims to much the same.

Padawan Imri had chosen Jodi as her next partner but she was too tipsy to notice who she was kissing by then. Healer Leona had been next up, followed by an extremely happy Mace and a somewhat sullen Sybelle. The dark haired apprentice had been even less happy when her inspired choice had been�

Garos Hmiol.

Jemmiah grinned from her vantagepoint. She�d often wanted to see Hmiol let his hair down and live a little, and yet a part of her acknowledged the fact that he was happiest being left to his own devices. If you didn�t bother him, he wouldn�t bother you. Which, she thought ruefully, was more than could be said for some people.

Still. The young man had the whole of the rest of his life to be dull. Jemmiah couldn�t quite make him out, and that intrigued her. She was sure there was more to him than was first apparent. And hook or by crook, she would find out what it was.

Tonight, however, he would join in the fun and lump it! He didn�t look either pleased or displeased with his shared smooch with Sybelle, and the latter had taken this for a deadly insult.

Good, thought Jemmiah.

Now, HE would have to choose. The little plan that had been formulating in Jemmiah�s brain was about to come into play�

�I�m going to the bar.� She kissed Obi-Wan on the forehead. �Want anything?�

�A double portion of roast Nerf with a side order of Takkini chips would be nice.� He sighed.

�No can do, sorry.� Jemmy shook her head.

�Damn. I need to keep my strength up.� He grinned, dimples showing in his cheeks. �Because when I get better��

��Master Jinn will be watching us like a hawk,� Jemmiah finished with a grimace.

�A boy can dream.�

�Just don�t broadcast �em round the temple like last time.� Jemmy laughed, remembering. �I don�t think your master�s ever quite got over hearing how you�d like to tear that white ball gown from off my back!�

�Don�t remind me!� Kenobi blushed.

�I was the only one in the immediate area of the hospital ward who hadn�t a clue what you were thinking.�

�There�s a lot to be said for being non-force sensitive.� Obi-Wan admitted.

He watched Jemmiah move towards the bar, only to see an extremely rough looking Kryztan Harkley slink into the cantina. The hair bristled on the back of his neck.

Jemmy signaled the waitress who was cleaning the table. For a while Obi-Wan didn�t have the first idea what she was up to. And then finally he got it. The rows stopped bobbing and weaving, and Jemmiah and friend made their way to the middle of the row, squeezing themselves between Meri and Leona. This wasn�t easy because Jemmy�s friend was easily taller than Lilith Demodae and considerably broader in build.

�Number twelve.� Hmiol called resignedly. He really wanted it to be Dimallie, who he was almost certain that old nemesis Simeon Cates had some kind of interest in. That would wind him up when he got to hear about it!

Number twelve; a rather unwilling looking Letina was only too quick to forfeit her place to the towering waitress alongside Jemmiah. The Corellian girl swaggered her way towards Garos and tapped him on the shoulder.

He blinked. �I didn�t think you were playing.� He said in surprise.

�Oh, I�ve been playing this game too long to sit it out now.� Jemmy grinned back. �Close your eyes.�

Hmiol shrugged and complied. He expected to be accosted by the warm and reputedly sensuous lips of Kenobi�s sixteen-year-old girlfriend. What he didn�t expect was to be grabbed roughly and lifted clean off the floor in a vice like grip.

An overpowering smell of warm fur assaulted his nostrils as two wet rubbery lips slobbered over the unfortunate padawan to the accompanying sound of screaming laughter from the other Jedi. He didn�t dare open his eyes. �I can�t breathe!� Garos tried to say from the corner of his mouth.

�Neither can we!� Meri howled, doubled over again. �Jemmiah, you-HIC-owe me! My hiccups have started again. It�s not-HIC-fair!�

There was a strange throaty growl from the waitress that Hmiol did not care for one little bit. Whatever was going on, he didn�t like it. Ugh! �Lemmmee go!� Garos mumbled amidst the roars of amusement.

�OK Flint. You�d better put him down.� Jemmy waved at her companion.

Garos felt himself slowly being returned to the ground, but it wasn�t until he felt his feet make contact with the floor that he steeled himself to look, and found himself eye to chest with�

A female Wookiee.

�She�s been eyeing you since she came in. She�s well impressed with you, aren�t you Flint?�

The Wookiee roared in the affirmative, and Garos hopped back a few steps.

�She says she likes the quiet ones and that in comparison to the others, you are a little tree-mouse!� Jemmiah giggled.

Garos wiped furiously at his mouth with his hand, trying to remove the Wookiee smell and the strands of hair still caught round his lips. He endeavored from that moment on until the whole shambles was over to become as extroverted as his own quiet character would allow. Within reason.

Jemmiah winked at him and smacked Hmiol playfully on the rump.

�THAT�S for avoiding my truth or dare question.� She smiled.

*******

Rela and Spider soon found themselves outside in the hunt for Qui-Gon.

�Where did they go?� Spider asked

�I don�t know. Jemmiah was busy at the time and all I could get from her was they were out.�

�This is turning out to be productive,� Spider laughed.

�What I don�t get is how did I get suckered into this. I guess a bit of flattery will get you something.� Rela laughed back.

�Well let�s look at this logically.� Spider started, but was quickly interrupted by Rela laughing. �Stop laughing. Why did they leave?�

Rela struggled to choke back her laughter. �If I know Kenobi it was for something to eat.�

�All right. What around here sells take out?�

The two girls looked at each other. �Cisco�s!� they said in unison.

They started their way towards the eatery and soon spotted the tall Jedi Master and the staggering form of Padawan Cates. �There they are. Do you have any idea what you�re going to say to him?� Spider asked.

�Umm...No, but I�m sure something will come to me. Let�s catch up before we lose them again.�

Suddenly Rela stopped and grabbed Spider�s arm. �Spider! Do you see that?�

�What that Twi�lek over there?�

�That�s not just a Twi�lek. That�s a BLUE Twi�lek, wearing a BLUE dress, walking a BLUE dog!� Rela told her excitedly.

�You are not still playing that are you?�

Rela just smiled and ran over to confront the female Twi�lek. Spider on the other hand ran to catch up with Qui-Gon and Simeon.

�Hey! Jedi man and Drunk boy! Wait up!� she called.

Qui-Gon turned to see the bi-colored haired girl coming towards them. �Spider, what are you doing here?�

�Hey Rela came looking for you, and I�m just along for the ride.�

�Then where�s Rela?� he asked as he took a look around. Spider pointed in the direction Rela had gone. Then they spotted her. Just in time to see that the Twi�lek had started spinning her dog around her trying to get Rela to back off.

�GO AWAY!� they heard the Twi�lek yell.

�LISTEN TO ME MA�AM!� Rela yelled back. �Oh this is STUPID!� Rela reached up and grabbed the spinning dog. �Ma�am all I want is your head thingy. It�s for a scavenger hunt, and I�ll even pay for it if you want.�

�Oh! Why didn�t you say so?� She quickly slipped her head tails out of her headgear and handed it to Rela.

�I thought I did,� Rela muttered to herself. Then she quickly added, �Thank you!� as she walked away.

�You did it!� yelled a surprised Spider.

A laughing Rela joined them holding her new prize. �Now all I have to do is find a one legged Neimodian walking a goat and I win!�

Qui-Gon let out an audible sigh. �I�ve got a drunk padawan who by the looks of it is going to be sick at any moment, a multi-haired tattoo expert, and a small redhead who is assaulting Twi�lek�s for their headgear. Can tonight get any weirder?�

Rela started laughing. �Qui-Gon you just jinxed yourself. Now it can only get weirder, and you don�t know the half of it. Plus it was a BLUE Twi�lek.�

*******

Garos wiped his mouth, and, making an excuse, headed for the 'Fresher. In truth, he had no intention of letting that Wookiee get near him again. Oh, she would pay! Hmiol added Jemmiah to his mental revenge list, right below Simeon. That made two dishes of revenge to serve up tonight. Of course, if he could get them to eat from the same plate...

An idea began to creep into Hmiol's head. No, it wasn't an idea, it was...

With disgust, Garos pulled a small crawling parasite out of his mouth.

*******

The small group soon found themselves at Cisco�s. They placed the large order and sat down to wait. Spider and Simeon soon found something more interesting to do besides wait. Which told Rela this would be her best chance at getting Qui-Gon to listen to her.

�What is it Rela?� he asked almost as if reading her thoughts.

�Why do you think I have something to say?� she teased.

�Otherwise you wouldn�t be here. You�re one of those people who tends to forget to eat.�

�How can you forget to eat? I just get too busy to eat, so there,� she said while sticking her tongue out at him.

�What is it about?� he prodded.

�It about Ben and Jem...�

�Stop! Stop right there! I don�t know how they got you on their side, but I don�t want to discuss it. Not tonight!� he interrupted.

�Stubborn old goat,� Rela muttered to herself.

�What did you say?� Qui-Gon quickly asked.

�I said, STUBBORN OLD GOAT!� Rela clarified. �They are my friends and I want them to be happy. They asked me to do them a favor and I said yes. For some reason they though you would listen to me.�

�I don�t know why they would have thought that,� Qui-Gon said, surprised.

�Me either.� Rela agreed. Then she realized what she agreed to. �Hey! That wasn�t nice.�

�Oh, and stubborn old goat was?�

�Well you are,� she teased.

�And I don�t listen to you,� he teased back.

Rela decided her best course of action would be to change the subject. She looked around and spotted Spider and Simeon at the attached bar discussing the art of tattoos. Simeon seemed to be thoroughly engrossed in the different areas of the body that Spider had a tattoo on. �Do you like my boots?� Rela coyly asked.

�What? Why?� asked a confused Qui-Gon.

�I love these boots.� she stated.

�What do your boots have to do with anything?�

�Well, it took a lot of trouble to find these boots. They were really hard to find in my size because my feet are so small. Then because of the odd size they were pretty expensive, but in the end they were worth it. They�ve always been there when I needed them and they�ve never let me down.�

�Why do I get the feeling we�re not talking about your boots anymore?� Qui-Gon asked suspiciously.

�Think what you want.� Rela shrugged.

�What if they get into a fight or break up? What do I do then?� he asked with concern.

�Then they will either get their feelings hurt or their hearts broken. That�s life. If it does happen, then be there for them. Listen to what they have to say. Then they might listen to you.�

�Not likely,� he muttered.

�They might surprise you.� Qui-Gon just turned to stare at Rela. �Well they might.� she quickly added.

�I should just prohibit them from seeing each other,� he sighed.

�They�ll hate you for it. You always say that it was the will of the force this, the will of the force that. Is this any different?�

�Why are you so insistent that they be together?�

�Like I said before, they are my friends and I want them to be happy. Just think about it for me will you?� Rela asked him with a pouty look.

�AAAAHHHHH! Don�t pout. I�ll think about it,� he agreed.

�Thanks,� she told him as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. �You won�t regret this, and if you need to talk to someone, you know where to find me.�

�I already to regret it, and why should I talk to you about it?�

�Because I�ll listen to you,� she teased.

At that moment Spider and Simeon decided to join them. Spider seemed to be herself, but Simeon looked like he was going to loose it at any moment. �He either needs some food or needs to pass out. I don�t care which, it just needs to be soon,� Spider quickly explained.

�Either that or get sick,� Rela added.

�EEEEWWWWWW! Rela that�s gross,� Spider laughed.

Almost as if on cue Simeon lost it.

BLARPP!!

He also managed to hit Rela on her tunic sleeve.

�No Spider, that is gross,� she stated as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.