I just came to a realization. Actually two realizations. The first one is that the way I deal with pain is by keeping it inside of myself. The second is that I vent out my frustrations by working on this web page and the Yellow Ribbon program. One important question that I ask myself is if this is healthy. Many times in my life I've kept my problems inside myself and then as they all collect I explode and end up hurting either myself or others. I thought this awful flaw has disappeared, but yet now I'm doing it again. What gets me is that everyone has said to me that I have such strength, but I really don't think I do. Pretty much what is perceived as strength is my way of hiding and releasing my own anger and hurt.
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