Lessons from an Angel

I woke up this morning to the baby crying,
And I thanked God that she could.

I struggled to keep her still while I gave her morning medications,
And I thanked God that we have them.

I cleaned the tube in her tummy that we feed her through,
And I thanked God we could feed her.

I watched her have yet another seizure,
And I thanked God she kept breathing this time.

I fed her and changed her diaper,
And I thanked God I could hold her.

I watched her smile and reach for her toys,
And I thanked God for her progress.

I wrote four thank you notes to people who have helped us,
And I thanked God that people cared.

I dealt with a teething, fussy baby,
And I thanked God that part was going normally.

I ran all over town for my errands,
And I thanked God that I had transportation.

I lay on the floor while my back cramped from the weight I carry every day,
And I thanked God she is small for her age.

Now as I watch her falling asleep I thank God for the blessings he has given me. I thank God for the special Angel he has sent to live in my home. And I pray that he will grant me the wisdom and strength to share this message.

Each day is what you make it.
Each trial is a lesson to learn from.
Each heartache gives you strength.
Each day is a blessing from God.

These are the simple lessons I have learned from my daughter Samantha.

The road is long.
And my journey has just begun.
I know where I want this road to lead,
But is that really the place I will arrive?
And will the journey I embark on be one that I can complete?
I do not know.
I only know that I must try.
I must provide a stable life for us.
I will not depend on someone else to do it for me.
Or for you.
I am truly needed for the first time in my life.
You need me.
You depend on me.
I will not let you down.
I will be strong for you when I think I have no strength left.
You have made me cry and laugh at times I felt my heart had left me,
And I would never again be able to feel pain or joy.
You bring about so many emotions for me.
I will not lie.
There have been times I thought I would die from loving you so deeply.
And the times I thought I might loose you,
Defy a worded description.
Only tears.
But you smile then,
And the world is no longer lopsided.
I notice little things again.
And it is all due to you.
We will have many hard times, you and I.
But our love and faith will steer us through.
And should I be taken from your side,
Always remember my love for you.
Remember the tears,
For they show that your pain was also mine.
But most of all, remember the good times.
Remember the laughs, the hugs, and the tickles.
For they prove my love for you deeper than anything.
My Baby.
My Love.
My Child.
My Samantha.

Because you cannot speak
I will be your voice.
I will tell them to slow down.
To notice the little blessings
In every moment of life.
To see each other with their hearts
Instead of their eyes.
To look beyond the appearance of disability
And see the ability to laugh and love unconditionally.
And one day they will learn these things
And write them upon their hearts forever.
All because
You cannot speak.

My Everything

When I am discouraged and heavy hearted
Your laughter lightens my load.
When I am overwhelmed and weary
Your baby touch gives me the strength to carry on.
When I am angry for all we must fight for
And the daily struggle to survive
Your angel smile reminds me
There is a purpose for everything.
When I am happy
Your joy amplifies mine to unimaginable heights.
When I cry for the things you will miss in life
You show me the things everyone else will.
You are my inspiration and strength.
My faith and love surround you.
My daughter, my angel, my teacher.
My everything.

You Cried

You cried when I left this morning,
And it broke my heart.
You tangled your fists in my hair,
And didn't want to let me go.
I wanted to stay and hold you.
But Mommy has to make a life for us.
So I said good-bye.
And kissed your cheek.
And got in the car to go to work and school.
You cried when I left this morning,
And so did I.
Mommy loves you baby.
And I cried too.