The video begins with Jason and Phil threatening my life in the kitchen while Ruth lounges on the couch beneath the camera. I had it set up on the shelf behind the couch so that the bed-stage would fit just perfectly in the camera frame.

It was really too dark to get much in the way of colour, or detail out of the old Minolta Master, Video 8 camera, and recording straight to a VHS tape in my VCR only put more limits on the fidelity of the images, but the facts remain.

Someone had a knife, and I was the corner of the kitchen against the the front door to Bedsprings, Ontario. Oh, they were just having some fun. A talent show doesn't go by where Phil and Jason don't threaten my life by some extremely painful means.

This goes on for a little while, but eventually I come into the living room, point the remote control towards the camera and static takes over. In a moment, the image returns and we see the beginning of the Talent Show. See, the tape had reached it's end at some point and rewound to the beginning. Then I hit record again not realizing that I'd be taping over the very beginning of the show.

Phil was telling us a story from his true life. He and a friend had been wandering around their hometown of Acton, Ontario and came upon some suspicious activities being perpetrated by authoritative young men with headset walkie-talkies. They decided to investigate and found themselves in the midst of mystery and intrigue, the likes of which you'd never expect in the small, leathery town of Acton.

What was missed due to absent-minded over-taping was Jason's "performance" of eating a bunch of doughnuts, and then drinking more than half a bottle of red wine in one go. No one was terribly impressed.

Sarah Greene and cohorts Kristine and Chris Wright set their instruments up on stage, but sadly, Sarah could not find her capo! We looked hard, but in the dim light, it was difficult. Sarah flipped the light switch, and Phil booed her for "killing the mood", but she searched on. Thankfully, the wily Eugene Slominerov improvised a capo with a pen and an elastic band. It looked about right, and it would have to do. 

After Sarah had sung her songs, the band went into covering a couple of popular favourites including Rush's Fly by Night, as sung by Chris, and three or four attempts were made at mimicking Kate Bush, but that proved to be too difficult, and has yet to be achieved by anyone.

After a short break and some last minute directing from Jason, Phil and I, Matt Alexander, took the stage to perform his play about a Ghost and a Robot. The setting was a cafe in Spain. This was indicated by a cardboard cut-out of a cafe table taped onto a small end table. Real beer played the role of Beer. Jason narrated the play from the back of the room and Phil and I did what he said.

At the end of the play, however, you can hear Jason yell, "Phil, Matt, can I have a word with you please?!" I was in the middle of talking with somebody, but Jason persisted. "Mister Alexander, I'd like to SPEAK with you now!". 

The video tape continued to record while Uns set up on the bed-stage. I was outside with Phil as Jason berated us for missing a line lifted from Seinfeld which was supposed to be in the play, or for delivering the lines wrong despite the two minutes of direction given to us before the play.

Back inside, those sitting below the camera discussed the shaving cream that had been sprayed into the words "Kill Matt" in the Bedsprings bathroom.

While Uns played Jason, Phil and Ruth dismantled my kitchen, and tormented me in various other ways. But we were all drunk and our attention spans were short. Chris and Eugene played bass and guitar respectively with Nick on drums. The set started simply with Chris casually plucking something out on the bass and Nick soon joining him. Then the incomparable Eugene came in with his guitar, facing away from the 25 or so people in my living room. It was good, from what I saw on the video, but unfortunately most of the folks in attendance were here primarily for the music and chose not to stick around for the second act of the play.

As soon as Uns finished Jason became very anxious to start the second act of the play, but that took a little bit of preparation. For instance, the set decorations had to be put on stage. A painting of a window with a full moon outside was taped to the back of the stage and Phil took a seat, then we were ready to go. In this act the Robot returned home to find the Ghost in his bed, years after their encounter in Spain. The Robot begins to malfunction because he cannot believe that he is a robot. The Ghost advises disconnection, but the robot resists. A flashback ensues.

The play was well received by those who remained for it's conclusion, and though there were many snags in the performing of it, I think we pulled it off nicely.

Our guests stuck around to chat for a little while, but soon left me alone with Phil, Jason and Ruth and chaos descended once again. I will not go into detail about what took place because it would only encourage more behavior of the like, but in the end I had a bleeding elbow which I'd scraped across the asphalt, the lock to my front door had to be replaced, my floor, and walls, required a strong bleaching, and all my dishes had to be washed.

It was the most chaotic and mad Talent Show since we began doing this last December. I can only hope that our guests remember the best of the drawings, and the best of the music, and the content of the play, and the delivery of the story, and that they forget all the crap and broken glass.