October 1998 – Planet survey and UAV retrieval, P36 X77
Oh look, rickety old bridge - my favourite.
“This could be a problem.” I state nonchalantly, peering across the massive gap in the ground and, of course, at the fallen log seeming to be our best – not to mention only – chance of crossing it.
The drop doesn’t look too bad. A caesium of sorts, lots of jagged edges sticking out and what I believe is a shallow stream running along the bottom. Huh, not much to cushion a fall is it really?
“Carter?”
“I’m guessing some pretty heavy seismic activity.” Carter’s not looking at me, still examining the validity of our only passage across, so she’s missing my dual raised eyebrows and expression of surprise that none of this was mentioned in the briefing. “We got no indication of any current instability, I‘d imagine this has been here a while.”
Well good. That makes me feel so much better. I toss a wirily grin at her then pace a little further up stream following the ledge. If anything the gap only gets wider, we haven’t a hope in hell of finding a safer way to reach the village. I finish my musing and nod to let them know I think it’s safe to cross.
“Heads up kids,” I clap both hands, “lets make this quick and painless, no sightseeing over the edge. Don’t want anyone going splat today!” The joke falls on deaf ears’ as everyone is too busy checking out the very old and very rotten wooden log before us.
Teal’c seems to agree with my assessment however because he heads over first. I indicate Carter should follow him, she looks a little less cock sure, but then I bet her scientific brain is working over time trying to calculate the chances of this old log being able to take the weight. Teal’c has already made it to the other side so I get ready to take up the rear, getting one foot poised on the root.
Hold up.
Something’s not right. I count our number on my left hand Me, Carter, Teal’c, hmmm…
“Daniel!” I yell turning around to locate him. I spy him stood a little off to my right, a fair distance between him and the ravine. He doesn’t even realise we’ve begun to cross. “C’mon Daniel, stopping messing around admiring the view we have a schedule to keep.” When he doesn’t move I turn to look back at Carter who’s still getting her balance set on the log. She has this look of pity on her face, but she’s not looking at me, it’s aimed at the man stood frozen not three feet from the edge of the ledge.
In one of those moments where my brain is too slow for my mouth I blurt out a truckload of obscenities and yell at Daniel to get his ass moving. It’s only when I receive a sudden jab in my ribs that it clicks just what’s wrong with him and why Carter is looking at him like that.
Now feeling like a completely insensitive bastard I order Carter to cross while I jump off the log and make my way back over to where Daniel is standing. She gives me the death stare she saves especially for anyone who dare upset Daniel. She’s one hell of a good big sister I’ll tell you that, if Daniel had her around growing up there’s no way he’d have been beaten on so often. But that’s probably a thought for another time... I need to focus right now on how I’m going to get Daniel to cross this bridge without having a panic attack.
To try and keep things normal I attempt to break the tension. “Hey Daniel, everything okay?”
“I’m fine, be there in a sec.” Arh, you see, that’s my boy. Absolutely terrified of the feat I’m asking of him, yet he’s still willing to do it without question.
I complete my trip over to Daniel within four long strides and come to a stop beside him, checking out his view. It’s not good. If I were in his position I think I’d be slightly nervous too.
“All clear, sir." Carter shouts upon reaching the other side in one piece.
“You two go ahead and check out the area, we’ll be a long in a minute.”
They both nod and are out of sight within a matter of seconds, disappearing into the trees. Carter looked a little concerned to leave, but I think she’s knows I won’t do anything stupid to upset Daniel further.
“You ready to cross?” I ask, still casually, no big deal. Daniel’s going to find this embarrassing enough knowing him, making an issue out of it will only make things worse.
“Yeah, I…just have this little problem with heights.”
“I know.” I say quickly, surprised at the confession, he must be terrified.
“You do?” He sounds surprised, he’s probably forgotten about Cimmeria and Thor’s tests. I remember Carter was so proud of him, trying to save Gerwin while mildly petrified himself. That’s Daniel all over though, never lets his fear get the better of him. “It’s no big deal though.” He reassures me quickly.
“Of course.” I humour him. I know he could do this alone, he doesn’t need me here, but I think we’ve come to a point in our relationship where if I’m around he’s quite willing to let me take him by the hand and lead the way, he knows he doesn’t have to be brave all the time.
At that I figure the quicker we get this over with the sooner Daniel will be back to his usual exuberant and excitable self. Despite the way I treat him sometimes I actually find Daniel’s enthusiasm refreshing. It reminds me why we’re doing this in the first place.
I make the first move; reaching around his back with my left arm I take his hand in mine. When I get no objection I put my free hand on his right upper arm, giving him a quick squeeze to reassure him that I’ve got a good grip and won’t let go. When he nods his understanding I begin to move us forward and Daniel takes the first step up onto the log.
We’ve taken three steps and are just about to take the first step with no ground beneath us when he starts to talk. “You don’t have to hold my hand.”
He’s saying it for show, I know because at the moment I couldn’t let go even if I wanted to. His grip’s so tight I’m sure the blood flow stopped, my fingers are going blue. I chose not to say anything in return, instead I just move my hand up and down his arm to comfort him and let him know I understand. Daniel doesn’t say anything else either just carries on walking head held high so as not to see the fast flowing shallow water a good 100ft below.
As we make the half way mark I feel some of the tension drain from his body. His grip loosens ever so slightly and he knows it’s nearly over. Keeping my eyes moving between Daniel and the path ahead I find myself amazed at the man I’m holding. Daniel can be like an open book at times. His facial expressions show every emotion. Yet he is the most complicated person I’ve ever met.
At first glance anyone would assume Daniel could fire a gun about as well as an elephant can tap dance. Yet he can do a lot more than defend himself with a weapon, he’s turned into a good fighter with a little help and can now hold his own when necessary, I say necessary cause fight is the last thing Daniel ever wants.
Then there’s the side of Daniel that people very rarely get to see - when he’s vulnerable. I can hear his quick breaths echoing in my ear, as we walk he’s trembling too. I think I’m probably one of the few people Daniel will let see him this way. He trusts me, which makes me feel good for some reason.
We’re about two steps away from the other side and I can almost feel Daniel melt next to me with the relief. I move him forward so he hits the ground first, the minute he does he breaks free of my hold and moves as far away from the ledge as possible. I scan the area but can’t see Carter or Teal’c anywhere, figuring they’re checking the perimeter I decide to use the opportunity of privacy to make sure Daniel’s okay. Looking at him straight on I see he’s still shaking quite badly
“Thanks Jack” He looks to the ground as he says it, embarrassed I knew it, but grateful none the less.
Feeling myself smile at the utter boyishness of him now I can’t help but let the small laugh escape. He looks about 10 years old. That’s another odd Daniel fact. He may actually be a man in his thirties but I rarely see him act it. He tends to fluctuate between five and twenty-five mostly. Deciding to end Daniel’s suffering I give him a quick nod to let him know he’s welcome and anytime he needs me, that sort of thing.
Taking myself out of friend and parent mode and back into Colonel in command mode I click my radio. “Carter, Teal’c where the hell are you?”