November 2nd 1998 - Some planet

“Woo yeah, what a ride.”  I just love a planet on the wilder side of the galactic stratosphere. 

Our feet hit the ground with a rally of thuds.  The team do their thing, Carter scouts ahead, Teal’c looks menacing and Daniel… well Daniel muddles with something on the floor… 

“Daniel, don’t touch that!”

“Why?”

“You don’t know where it’s been.”  I explain, I shouldn’t have to by now, but then Daniel’s a special case.

“It looks like a piece of clothing.”  He carries on like I haven’t said a word, “torn…”

“Daniel.”  I grit my teeth and spit out the name.

He looks up at me all wide-eyed and pouty, like butter wouldn’t melt in that smart mouth of his.

“Put it down.”  I order.  It’s not often I have to do it, but like I said Daniel’s a special case and by that I mean he has occasion to not listen – to anyone.

Carter walks up on Daniel, and I’m sure merely to save face, he shrugs and stands up, leaving his find in the exact spot where he found it.

“So what delights await us today.”  It was Daniel who said that, NOT me as so many who know me would likely assume.  He’s getting cockier with each year that passes.  I can’t figure out whether I’m a bad influence and he’s copying me or if this ‘tude of his was in him all along and my bad influence has brought it out.

“I believe we shall find out when we arrive at our destination, Daniel Jackson.”  Teal’c calmly tells him.  Recognising all the signs of a ticked off Daniel.

*

Oh god, another speech, blah, blah, yadda, blah.  Why can’t at least one of the races we meet have evolved to the simple handshake greeting stage?   Hell with it, maybe we should just start the trend and pray that it catches on.  Where’s Daniel?  He’d be excellent at introducing the idea; if I did it he’d excuse me of unduly influencing a culture and destroying a preserved society.

I half expected Daniel to be by my side when I turned around, after all he loves to listen to these folk drone on and on, but just like him, Doctor unpredictable strikes again.  It doesn’t worry me too much that I can’t see him right now.  He can’t be far away, so I stretch and look over my shoulder to try and spot him, all the while trying to keep up the pretence of listening to the nice guy that will hopefully hook us up with lots of goodies to take home. 

And spot him I do, wandering around looking like he hasn’t a care in the world past satisfying his own curiosity.  I think it’s about time I considered a leash or something. I briefly glance back and find that Carter appears to be giving her full attention to our negotiator, which allows me to turn my eye back on Daniel, tracking ahead just in case we have to go retrieve him later.  I watch him continue to walk forward right past the sign that clearly tells him not to…

“Daniel!”  I sprint after him, my breath coming in deep breaths, my legs aching I keep going.  “Daniel stop!  STOP!”

An inch further and it would have been too late, but I grab his arm and yank him backwards away from the gapping caesium that stretches across an area Cheyenne Mountain couldn’t fill.  He stumbles, but lucky for the both of us he stays on his feet. A look of utter confusion on his face.

“What the hell was that?”

Everyone else follows and asks the exact same question, in their own way.

“Jack?” 

I know immediately by the note of his voice Daniel isn’t himself - a pitch higher than his usual self in fact.

I step back, frown and keep a tight hold on his arm.  “Dan-iel?”

“Why is the sky always blue?”  Daniel then makes a sound that is unmistakably a hiccup. 

Am I concerned? Definitely.  Am I dumb struck that something like this could have happened?  Not as much as I probably should be.  Am I struggling to hold back the last of my sanity in the guise of uncontrollable laughter threatening to break out?  Oh hell yes.

“Well I don’t know Daniel.  Maybe Carter can answer that one.”  A wicked wink in Carter’s direction isn’t so well received.  In fact she looks incredibly pissed.

“Daniel’s high, sir.”

“Ya think?”  I laugh, and I swear to god Teal’c joins in.  Carter drops Daniel’s wrist after taking his pulse and slaps her palm to his forehead.

“He’s hot, but not serious.” 

All the way through this conversation Daniel has fussed with Carter’s watch, played with the pocket zippers on his uniform and now moved onto mine.  I pull his wandering fingers away from my pants pocket just in time and hold both wrists together in one special ops grasp.

“What I’d like to know is how exactly did Daniel manage to get…” I jab my middle finger at him, “…like that.”

“High.”  Carter says dryly.

“Yes, that.”

“Well you know that cloth he picked up?”

“Oh don’t tell me.  He couldn’t be that easy.”

“If the cloth carried an agent that could be absorbed by the skin then it’s entirely possible.”

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, Daniel, can’t we take you anywhere?”

Daniel isn’t listening to me, I’m still holding him in place and for the moment he seems content to stare at us, all dazed and confused with huge dilated pupils.

“Should we not depart immediately?”  Teal’c says anxiously.

“Well…”  Carter starts to say, and I know what she’s thinking.

“Maybe we can wait awhile, until this wears off.  Don’t want to go upsetting folk back home now do we?”

“I do not understand.”

“It’s like this Teal’c, if we take Daniel back now, Fraiser is going to know what happened.  She’ll have to report it.”

I can see Teal’c doesn’t get it.  Luckily for me Carter is on the same page and jumps in with a précis explanation.

“In all likelihood Daniel will be fine in a few hours.  He’d be grateful if we kept this little incident to ourselves and save him from any official action and of course embarrassment.”

“I see.” 

“Oh know you don’t, but you will.”