One reason why poets find it hard to find publishers is that publishers find it hard to sell poems. Be honest, would-be bard, when did you last buy the work of some unknown poet? Yesterday? Last week? Month? Year? Most likely never.

Another reason why poets find it hard to find publishers is that most of the poetry submitted to publishers is (to use the technical term) crap. Prose can be edited into shape but poetry is the essence language distilled. If it is not excellent, it is rubbish; there is no middle ground.

I opened a poetry manuscript last month. My heart fell. I glanced at the first line of the first verse of the first poem, hoping for a miracle. What did I see? "A baron woman". We all make mistakes, you might say. My spelling is good but my typing is dyslexic. When I am typing at full speed (using four whole fingers) there's no telling which finger will hit which key next. Still, that's why spell-checkers were invented. To make such a mistake in a poem, however, is never forgivable. The essence of language distilled does not allow for homophone blindness, and editors who will even glance at poetry are few enough as it is. If you don't know the difference between baron and barren (or even if you think the confusion of the words is a clever device) you are not a poet. If you haven't been through your manuscript so many times in search of minute errors of nuance that even glancing at it makes you want to vomit, then you are not a poet. There are real poets out there. Don't spoil thing for them by jading yet another potential publisher.

read on, only should you be a poet

I don't believe you, but never mind. You'll have a chance to prove yourself should you send me a manuscript. It usually takes a few seconds for my anti-poetry defenses to power-up.

The morning post arrives. It's: bill, bill, bill, begging letter, bill, advertising bumf, bill, manuscript! A moment's elation follows (I live in hope) but doesn't last long. The manuscript is not heavy enough to be a chapter let alone a whole novel; it's <groan> poetry. Never mind, I tell myself, Shakespeare was a poet, there is a genius out there somewhere (I did say that I lived in hope) just waiting for me to discover him/her/it/whatever. I open the envelope to find a dozen or so tatty bits of A4. It's been round the houses and I'm the last in line. You tell me: Why should I even bother to look at it? Even good poetry isn't going to make me any money. It's likely to cost me money, but it isn't going to make any.

Never mind, another day another manuscript, a crisp one this time. If it has been round the houses the poet has had the sense to send fresh copies to each house. That might not make him a poet but it does mean that he has slogged his way past the outer defenses. I am reading the bloody thing. I don't really want to because I know that I'm going to be disappointed but, what the Hell, I live in hope.

Try this: I open an attractive envelope. It's not A4. It's content is not typescript, but attractively illustrated card. All my defenses are down. What! Some bloody poet has sneaked a packet of poems on me without my knowing it. The cheeky little *******. The poetry might be (to use the technical term) colourful crap but it will get a vastly more sympathetic reading. For one thing the poet has used his/her/its/whatever's brain and realised that poetry like everything else has to be sold and that the publisher is only the first customer.

Visit your local bookshop, the one that stocks those ghastly A5 booklets by local poets. Tempted, are you? You never know. Some of the poetry might be worth reading. Who will have read it, though? The poet's mother for one will have bought a copy or six. She probably came back several times, being careful to be served by several different assistants, bless her heart.

You are a poet, you say, selling is beneath you. Well, stuff you, darling. If you don't do it, nobody else will. There is no money in it for the publisher. Do you really think that it's the duty of the publisher's other authors to subsidise you? Believe me, they don't think so and nor would you.

The Internet is the perfect place to sell poetry. Poetry is a minority interest (money wise that is). No matter how small the minority as a percentage of the population, though. there are a lot of people in the world. All the poet needs is a place to put his poems and people to see them. My company will provide a place to any poets who get past me. They'll provide the sales staff and the secure server free of charge. Their terms are the same as any bookshop: the electronic equivalent of 50% sale or return. Don't expect them to sell any of your poems, though, unless you put in some effort with the presentation and do a bit to drum up some business for yourself. Stop whining! It's not Vanity Press. I'm not going to risk my reputation to rip off a poet of half of nothing. For pity's sake grow up. It's called living in the real world.