*note* inappropriate content is not my fault, haha, it's b/c of the questions other people ask...
Dear Moni, Sometimes Tyler Clark touches himself (student number 02340234042), why
does he do this? That Rodin Max
Hai-Jew is such a punk, huh--why won't anyone just tackle him and give him
the whoopass he so clearly deserves?
-Looking Forward to Your Response, Tyler's Mom in Seattle
if Tyler's doing this when you, his mom, is in sight i don't think touching himself is the biggest problem as of the moment. as for max hai jew the punk...i think he already has had enough whoopass his world civ professor.
~*~
Dear Moni, I know a guy who's having trouble with this girl. She's just a stupid slut but he's heartbroken. What a loser, can you make fun of him?
~evil biotch~
Um no thank you as I am a pacifist.
~*~
Dear Moni, why are sluts treated like vermins and players treated like kings?
-very confused-
I think it's all because girls have this thing about respect and respecting your body while guys are basically raging hormones who's only thought is sexso they think it's cool to bag a virgin. Actually that doesn't answer the question but whatever.
~*~
Dear Moni, When is your next romance novel coming out?
*15 and finally mature*
I'm glad you're an avid fan of my romance novels... the next steamy, passionate novel will be released when I'm done with it i.e. never because i don't write romance novels
~*~
Dear Moni, my you know what isn't big enough....does that mean less pleasure?
-insecure
um...seeing as how I'm a girl with no baseball bat, I honestly wouldn't know but you just have to face it. Some people have long bats, short bats, big balls, small balls. That's just the way God created you so live with it. Besides, it's not how big the bait is but really how you wiggle the worm.
~*~
Dear Moni, I just bought some tampons but I'm afraid to use them. Will I lose my virginity?
~A girl's first time~
if you're afraid to use them why'd you buy them
~*~
dear moni, i'm having trouble getting attention from this hot guy that i kno. i've been flirting with him constantly, and i'm sure that he knows i like him. is he just not interested? what should i do to get him to like me?
-slut who lost her charm
if you're sure he knows you like him and he hasn't done anything, it probably means he doesn't like you...isn't it...obvious...or maybe he's just secretly madly in love with you but is afraid to make the first move...take your pick.
~*~
Dear Moni,
why do they have the "c" key and the "x" key right next to each other when they should realize that would cause some embarrasing typos? are they sadistic?
-embarrased-
well I guess it'd be a problem typing in sex instead of sec but come on, you're blossoming into a growing he-man and he-mans are not afraid of using the word sex. so embrace your typos with gusto and accept them for what they are.
~*~
Dear Moni,
i wanna know why the damn kidz at the learning center hafta be so annoying and annoy me and then my moms like "be nicer to them"
~annoyed~
well, to tell you the truth, i have no clue. but i think that you should spend less time at the learning center so that you have more time to spend with other people, like say me or a certain other eeper who possess eeper charms (see below)
~*~ Dear Moni,
What on earth is going on with Eggie and Vivek? I mean, they talk all the time online, I don't see why they're hooking up! Why won't Eggie succumb to Vivek's eeper charms?!
~Wondering One
Well, Wondering One, I am wondering too. Wouldn't they make an adorable couple? WHY YES THEY WOULD. Which is why they should most definately hook up. Especially since her birthday is coming up....how sweet, well, whatever happens, they're destined for one another. We'll just have to wait and see I suppose.
~*~
Dear Moni,
Why are you such a bitch?
-confused and frightened citizen-
well it's a sad and sordid tale beginning at my childhood...
~*~
Dear Moni,
How come whenever my boyfriend starts fingering me I always bleed?
~bleeding all the time~
It's called karma, sweetheart, that's what you get for being a slut. So stop eating meat, save yourself for marriage, and go join a convent.