| YOU KNOW YOU ARE (FILL IN BLANK) IF... YOU KNOW YOU ARE CAMBODIAN IF... 1) You own, have relative who owns, or know someone who owns a DONUT SHOP!!! 2) You have a life time job at a donut shop. 3) You still work at a donut shop on weekends even if you have a full time job outside. 4) You HATE Donuts!! 5) You live in Long Beach and/or you have relatives who live in Long Beach, or you go to Long Beach every weekend. 6) You can't live without steamed rice. 7) You're darker than all your other Asian friends. 8) You kick it with black people and other people think you're black too. 9) You hate the name Pol Pot. 10) The first cool thing you learned in America is how to break dance. 11) You hate it when people think Cambodians are the dirtiest Asians. 12) You own the old Toyota Cressida or an old Nissan Maxima. 13) You have a Laotian relative. 14) You are tired of Cambodian stereotypes, so you say that you are "Kampuchean" instead. 15) You want other Asians to stop meddling in your country. 16) You deny numbers 1 through 15. YOU KNOW YOU ARE JAPANESE IF... 1) You're obsessed with you hair, your car, and your clothes. 2) Males- you want to marry a Korean/Chinese American woman. 3) Females- you want to marry a white guy. 4) Your household has appliances and electronic products not yet invented in the States. 5) Your last name always ends with a vowel (Akira, Osaka, Fujitsu, Fukuzaki, Miyagi, Toyota, Honda, etc). 6) You're the most hated and envied of all other other Asians 7) You're afraid of African Americans. 8) You think you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE KOREAN IF... 1)You smoke and drink too much. 2) You're actually sorry that Margaret Cho's sitcom was canceled. 3) You hate the Movie "Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood." 4) Your friends ask you, "How do you walk with your eyes closed?" 5) You have 6 AP classes and you're on the tennis team. 6) You are always on the evening news with other races involved. 7) A relative owns a store and all own personal handguns. 8) Your last name is Kim/Park, you have a relative who is a Kim/Park, or you live next to a Kim/Park. 9) You get irritated when other races ask you "Are you Chinese or something?" 10) You're afraid of African Americans. 11) You think you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE CHINESE IF... 1) You think you're the smartest people in the world. 2) You have a pager and cellular phone with you at all times. 3) Today's steamed rice is tomorrow's fried rice. 4)You hate being called "Zip Head" at school. 5) You have puffy hair and u split it in the middle. 6) All other races (whites, blacks, beaners, etc.) know what you are because when they see you, they 7) automatically say, "Are you Chinese or something?" 8) You've mastered the piano, violin, or flute. That's all because any other instrument isn't worthy to be played. 9) You're proud because every other Asian says "I'm part Chinese" or have Chinese connections. 10) You believe Bruce Lee was a national hero. 11) You're afraid of African Americans. 12)You think you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE VIETNAMESE IF... 1) You've got to have fish sauce with every meal. 2) You eat at a restaurant that has "Pho." 3) You have some relative who is Chinese. 4) Your mom has the meanest accent and you can't even understand a word she says. 5) People call you "war boy or war girl" in school. 6) You have rice grains growing in your backyard. 7) Your last name is Nguyen, you have a relative whose a Nguyen, or you live next to a Nguyen. 8) You're afraid of African Americans. 9) You think you are superior to all other Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE FILIPINO IF... 1) You want to be a dancer, a singer, or an actor, even though you have a day job as a nurse, a security guard, or an accountant. 2) A member of your family back home is a politician or a movie star. 3) You found out you have jerry curls on your head. 4) You are either in a gang, you want to be in a gang, a relative is in a gang, or your grandpa used to kick with the "Roxas Blvd." gang. 5)You have a T-shirt somewhere in you're closet that says "Filipino Power." 6)You eat your dog. 7) Your mom pronounces a P like an F and an F like a P. 8) Your parent's English sounds like Tagalog. 9) You speak better Ebonics than some Black People. 10) You're proud that your last name is Spanish, and in some cases, you seriously claim you have Spanish blood! 11) When you are talking on a chat room (Yahoo or AOL Chat), your name always includes Flip, Pinoy, or Pinay. 12) You don't claim to be all Asian, instead you would rather be referred to as "Pacific Islander." 13) (Girls) You are fully developed by the age of 13 14) (Guys) By the age of 13, you have already developed a full grown mustache. 15) You're not afraid of black people; in fact, you wish you were black. 16) You don't care if you are superior to all other Asians or not, because being Filipino is just cool in itself. YOU KNOW YOU ARE THAI IF... 1) People want to pay you for sex. 2) No matter what you eat, it's not greasy or spicy enough. 3) Your last name has a minimum of 15 letters. 4) Every time you say you are from Thailand, men's eyes light up and they say "Ahhh... Bangkok, the city of legalized prostitution." 5) Females are the main attraction for tourists in your country. 6) You own or you worked in a THAI CUISINE restaurant. 7) You're not afraid of black people, because in some cases you're just as dark as they are. 8) You think in your heart that you will never be superior to all other Asians, but you've learned to live with it. YOU KNOW YOU ARE INDONESIAN IF... 1) All throughout your years in school, not one teacher have ever pronounced your last name right. 2) You drive a fixed up Toyota Corolla. 3) (Guys) You are dark, have long hair, and listen to Heavy Metal music. 4) (Girls) You wish you were Filipino. 5) You're afraid of black people. 6) Your mom is a nurse and your dad is in business. 7) You live in Redlands, CA or Loma Linda, CA, or Diamond Bar, CA. 8) Your parent's dream car is a Toyota Previa. 9) You never find "Indonesian" under the ethnicity section of ANY application. 10) You brag about the Komodo dragon living in Indonesia. 11) Whenever you tell someone what race you are, they always answer "Where's that?" 12) No matter what year/model of car you have, you find some way to modify it and race it. 13) You always get the "Are you Filipino or something??" question 14)You think you are superior to all Asians. YOU KNOW YOU ARE LAOTIAN IF... 1) You own the old Toyota Cressida or an old Nissan Maxima. 2) You lie about what race you are, saying that you are Pinoy or Pinay. 3) (Girls) You have a black boyfriend. 4) (Guys) You wish you had a black girlfriend. 5) You live in Long Beach, you have relatives who live in Long Beach, or you go to Long Beach every weekend. 6) You have a Cambodian relative. 7) You get mistaken for a Cambodian. 8) The first cool thing you learned in America is how to break dance. 9) You wish people would stop thinking that Laotians are dirty. 10) You wish you were black. 11) You never think that you are superior to all Asians because no one will take you seriously anyway BACK |