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Visit The Utah State FAIR AND BALANCED Rock -- See The Stone Clenis!! (August 15)
Right-thinking moral Americans are always asking me "Ayn, where can I take my family on vacation without exposing them to decadence and acres of exposed flesh?" Here's my suggestion: go to Utah, the most Republican state in the union, where the values of an Old Testament God are still honored (but without all that bothersome Jewish stuff about circumcisions and not eating blood).
Next month would be a perfect time, because the Utah State FAIR AND BALANCED wholesome entertainment will be in Salt Lake City September 4th through the 14th . (I have to note in passing a horrid example of federal intrusiveness on their web page. Because of the vile Democratic "Penalize Americans Without Disabilities Act", the Fair has to make so many preparations for people who do need "auxiliary communicative aids and services" that it requires three days prior notice before they can attend.)
But there is much more to see near there, including a "sermon in stone", symbolizing God's moral judgment on liberal sinners in an undeniable way. In Utah's Arches National Park you can see plenty of His own architecture, including many sweeping stone arches all looking lovely and FAIR AND BALANCED Rock.
Just look at this structure. Isn't it a wonderful depiction, allowing for erosion, of the real cause of our nation's problems in the 1990's, namely The Clenis? The huge twin rocks of the sack, next to the monolith no doubt far stiffer than the original model could ever hope to be? And just for more justice, it looks like it was constricted by someone's tying a tight band around it -- thus saving the world from its intrusive prodding. One could wish that Princess Hillary of Evil Memory and Dark Prospects could have had the sense to do this with the original Clenis.
Those who object that this is millions of years old simply underestimate the long-range planning of Heaven. God has been erecting monuments to his might for ages, often as a warning. The classic example was that of Lot's wife, as He destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." (Genesis 19:26) This made her a permanent monument of rock, just like this huge Stone Clenis.
If you doubt that this warning of Clinton decadence was intentional, consider this. Read the rest of that chapter of Genesis. After Lot flees, his daughters get him drunk and have sex with him so they will have children. (This shows just the kind of modernistic, liberal family "values" they were brought up exposed to in Sodom -- like America today!) One of them had a son named Moab, "the father of the Moabites unto this day." And look at the Arches National Park page again. It is "Located near Moab, UT". Have you ever seen a clearer sign of God's purpose?
But warnings apply also to the residents of this most loyal and Republican state. For instance, Utah's Senator Orrin Hatch has proposed a Constitutional Amendment which would remove the requirement that Presidents must be natural-born citizens. Though he denies it, this only has one obvious beneficiary (since Henry Kissinger is too old): Arnold Schwarzenegger. That immigrant, though of good family (his father was a Nazi stormtrooper MP, back before "old Europe" became terrorist-appeasing wimps), is now running for Governor of California. Fortunately, many right-thinking patriotic Americans have seen through the phony Republicanism of this Kennedy-marrying, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-gay rights, leftist plant, and are denouncing him and calling for Californians to vote for Real Conservatives instead. Hatch's sycophantic celebrity-worship makes him an obvious target for the next transubstantiation into rock salt. Orrin, you have been warned!
Fri, 15 Aug 2003 20:51:07:
Ayn--
You are SUCH a great American. Are the rumors of your being single true?
Best,
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AYN is pronounced like the german for "one" -- which is proper because the superior individual "one" is all that matters in history, not the "few" and especially not the "many".
CLOUTER means one who strikes a heavy blow -- which is proper because I love clouting Democrats, liberals, and other woolly brained bleeding heart lemmings -- and the mealy mouthed compromising moderates who appease them and make their victories possible. (Clouted also means clotted, as when cream goes bad -- good, maybe the cream eating overweight liberals will get clogged arteries and die.)