Author: Liz
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: PG-13
Category: M/L
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Song piece at the end is from Third Eye Blind's 'Slow Motion'.
Summary: Future fic. Liz is married to Kyle and works for the FBI. The aliens never came to Roswell, and there was never a shooting.
Distribution: Back parts can be found at Stories by Liz (Jessi's Page). As for putting them anywhere else, I think I'm gonna hold off for awhile.
Feedback: Pretty please :)
Author's Notes: Well, this is it guys. The end (of this part
at least). The sequel might not be out for awhile..I'm pretty
loaded up w/ work and stuff right now, and with my new series and
Secrets. But it'll get written eventually (if you care :) Hope
you enjoy! I've loved writing this fic, and I hope you've liked
reading it. Thanks to everyone who sent feedback, and to those
who read and didn't. I love y'all!
Subject: A1 (Part 18)
For one long moment, her lungs stopped working. Things were
beginning to go black when Max touched her face, and she could
breathe again.
"Oh my…no, I can't…shit."
"What, Liz? Tell me what's wrong?"
He looked really worried, and she wanted to tell him, but she
couldn't seem to form the words.
"He let you go?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Once we got out of the room, he started
telling me that he was going to take me to the exit and then I
was free to go. He told me to get the hell out of there and never
look back. When we got there, I told him that I couldn't leave
you without telling you what was going on. He was mad at first,
but when I explained to him the way I felt about you he started
to walk away. I thought he was just going to leave, but then when
he was halfway down the hallway he told me to go to Holiday Inn
and check into room 238, and that you would come. Then he just
left. Right after he turned the corner, the sirens started going
off, and I just ran."
She stayed silent through his whole account, focusing in keeping
her breathing normal. She couldn't believe it--all this time
she'd been thinking of him as scum, and he had turned out to be
her saving grace.
"But why…"
"I don't know. He would never tell me. He didn't tell
you?"
"No," she whispered.
"I saw him…he was cold, like he was when he came to get
you. I was so mad, and I told him that he was just as bad as
everyone else at that place. He told me that someday, I'd
understand. And then he told me to come here, to trust him. That
was it. He just walked away. I just can't believe…."
"I know."
She closed her eyes, conjuring up the picture of the old man in
her mind. Her emotions for him were so mixed--she could still
remember how she had respected him during her first years at the
lab. He had been almost like a father or an uncle to her,
mentoring her, teaching her everything that he knew. Sharing with
her his dreams, like her own, to one day find extra-terrestrials.
Her anger and hurt when she had discovered the truth, that he had
known the whole time about the many captives. And now, confusion.
Because she didn't know what to believe anymore.
"I'm sorry, Liz. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
Surely you'll see him somewhere…"
"He wouldn't even talk to me."
"You don't know that…"
"I do, though. Somehow I just know."
He sighed, pulling her closer to him. "It'll be okay."
When she woke up again, it was dark outside. Turning around
slightly, she looked at the clock on the nightstand. The glowing
red numbers read 6:30. She didn't remember ever sleeping this
much in her life, nor did she remember ever feeling this rested.
Pulling away from Max gently, she stood and walked into the
bathroom, grabbing the white terry cloth robe that hung from the
closet door. Wrapping it around herself quickly and belting it,
she went back into the bedroom. She began to gather her clothing
that was scattered across the floor, smiling to herself as she
thought of the night before.
Sleeping together hadn't been something they'd planned on--it had
just sort of happened.
She'd been trying to comfort him, holding him, when he'd kissed
her. And from then on, things had just sort of continued down
that path until they ended up in bed together. Not that she
regretted it.
Reaching for her lab coat, she spotted something sticking out of
the side pocket. Squinting her eyes in the darkness, she thought
it looked like an envelope. Picking the coat up, she pulled the
paper from the pocket. She was right, it was an envelope. Her
name was written on the front with blue ink. Mr. Davies'
handwriting.
Dropping the bundle of clothes from her arms, she padded to the
bathroom again, sitting down on the closed toilet lid. Her hands
shook as she opened the plain white envelope.
The letter was written on his stationary, the big, intimidating
FBI logo sprawling across the top of the light blue specked
paper.
'Dear Liz,
You might not ever read this letter but I had to take the chance
that you would and write it, just in case. I know you probably
hate me right now, but I'm hoping that by the time you're done
reading this that you'll feel differently.
First off, let me apologize for my behavior towards you as of
late. I want you to know that I hated every minute of it. All I
ever wanted was your happiness, and I feel that everything I've
done was completely necessary. Even though you might not agree
with me, please believe that I was just looking out for your well
being.
When I came to work with the FBI thirty years ago, I was just
like you. I trusted fully in the people here and their cause, and
I wanted nothing more than to find out the truth about alien life
forms. I thought that, working here, I could do just that. For
years I kept my faith in this belief, working as hard as I could
just to show them that I was trustworthy, and that I really
deserved my job.
The day finally came when I did find out the truth. That the FBI
was nothing like I'd thought they were. I was in my office and my
boss came to get me. He wouldn't tell me what had happened, only
led me through the hallways until we finally reached a room with
a glass door. It was a room very much like the room that A1
stayed in, so I'm sure you could imagine my excitement at that
very moment. When we went inside, I saw the young woman
immediately. She was a teenager, no older than 16, and she looked
very scared. The first thing I remember thinking was that she
couldn't be an alien, she looked too much like a normal person. I
didn't say anything to my boss, though. He started to tell me
about her, and how she was the first one we'd ever found. Soon I
was caught up in his excitement, and I wanted to know everything
there was to know about her. He told me all I wanted to know, and
then he told me their plan for her. We would keep her in the lab
for 4 months, studying everything about her. After the time was
up, we would move onto the second step of the 'observation'.
Which was the part where we cut her open.
You may not believe me when I say this, but when he told me that
I felt just like you did. I couldn't believe that they would want
to do that to her, cut open this girl that had done nothing at
all to any of us. I tried to get him to explain to me why it was
necessary to do that, but all he kept telling me was that 'it was
for the sake of science', and asked me wasn't that why I was
there in the first place. I told him yes, that I was there to
find out the truth, but I never expected this. He told me that
there was nothing I could do about it, and that if I wanted to
keep my job I wouldn't cause problems.
I know now that the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life, I
made that day. My mistake was keeping my mouth shut. I'm still
not exactly sure why I went against my morals and did what he
told me to do, but I guess it was because I was just a kid
looking for a way to earn a living. I was doing what I'd always
wanted to do, and I told myself that it was just a fact of life,
what was happening. It was just part of science, and I couldn't
change anything. Maybe I was right about that part. I couldn't
have changed anything. They would've just fired me and sent me
away, and even if I told anybody after that they wouldn't have
believed me. The FBI is a huge organization, and they have the
power to do whatever they want. I was just one person.
After that day, I did what I was told. I stood by and watched as
they poked and prodded that poor girl, and I watched as they cut
her open. I still have nightmares about that. Once she was gone
things were calm again for a long time, until finally the day
came when my boss came into my office again and told me that we
had not one, but 3 more aliens. By that time, the prospect of it
meant nothing to me. Not after I knew what went on. After those 3
came more and more, until the place was just full of them. None
of the others were killed, which made me feel better. So for all
of those years I worked there, keeping quiet and just doing my
job.
Then you came. Like I said, you reminded me so much of myself
when I first started. That scared me, because when I looked at
you I remembered everything that I had seen and done. I knew from
that first day that I could never let you make the same mistakes
as I had. So I never told you about them. I didn't want you to
have to get involved, I didn't want you to have to make the
choices. I was so afraid that if I gave you the chance, you'd
make the wrong ones.
Why I finally decided to tell you about A1, I can't really say. I
had watched you grow up a little more every day, but your dreams
never changed. You had so much hope in those dreams of yours, and
I knew that it killed you to have to go on day after day,
watching them fade away. I knew you were tired--I could see it in
your eyes. Too much work and too little rest.
It was a hard decision to make, but I finally did. I thought that
you at least deserved to know part of the truth--that there were
in fact aliens. I believed that if I gave just that to you, you
could be happier. I wanted to see you happy, and yet I didn't
want to put you through my own trials.
When I decided to show you Max, of course I never expected what
happened. I knew what a mistake I'd made when I saw your face the
day you first saw him. I knew right then that you would see him
as much more than a test subject--that you would become attached
to him. By then, though, it was too late to go back and change
what I'd done. There was nothing I could do but stand by each day
and watch as you grew closer and closer to the man in the glass
cage.
Then came the day when they told me about his planned
termination. I was frenzied, thinking of only you and what you
would do when you found out. I didn't know what to do, but I knew
I had to tell you something. I was thinking again about myself,
and how I'd been forced into the place I am in now. All I knew to
do was get you away from that place, somehow. The only way I knew
how to do that was to make you hate the FBI--and to hate me.
So I told you about A1. I told you that he was going to be
killed, knowing how much it would hurt you. It hurt me too, to
say those words to you. I hated to be the one to cause you so
much pain, but I consoled myself with the thought that soon, this
would all be in your past. It wouldn't have to be your future, as
it had been mine. After I told you and you still didn't go, I
knew the only thing left was to let you know the rest. But I
couldn't bring myself to tell you that to your face, so I put the
database in your files. I did so on sheer hope that you would
just happen to see it. Somehow, I guessed right. On both
accounts. You saw it, and you were mad.
Just as I wanted you to be.
The day that I took A1 away, and told you that I was taking him
to be murdered, was perhaps the hardest of my life. I knew how
heartbroken you were. Which is why I let him go. It was my way of
fighting back, of making up for all of the wrong things I'd done.
I know that one action didn't make up for everything else, but it
was something.
I wasn't planning on arranging for you two to reunite like I
ended up doing. When I took him to the door and let him go free,
all I wanted was for you two to go your separate ways. I wanted
for him to have his freedom, and for you to be free of that
horrible place. But when he began to tell me of his love for you,
I didn't have the heart to keep you away from each other. That is
why you're probably with him now, at the hotel room I reserved.
I know that you love him, too. I'd always known. It was so
evident in your eyes. Which is why I know now that you're
probably happy with him. I wish you all of the happiness in the
world, Liz. You deserve so much more than you'll ever know. So
much more than your husband who just never loved you enough, and
more than the lies you lived with at the FBI. I hope that you
will go on to find another job, where you can pursue your dreams
however you wish. I hope that you'll be happy with Max Evans, and
that you will always keep each other safe. Most of all, though, I
hope that you can understand why I did what I did, and maybe even
one day forgive me.
All my love,
P.D.