Author: Liz
Email: [email protected]
Note: This is the sequal to "Remember"
Losing You
Chapter 1
Max Evans sat at the end of the old, worn couch, completely still and silent.
His expression was weary, his mouth set in a grim line that suggested his unhappiness.
He was just watching, every sense focused
entirely on the sleeping woman that lay on the couch with him,
stretched out haphazardly. One leg dangled slightly off the edge
of the couch, the other tucked under her. A slender arm rested
above her head, fingers grazing his side, while its mate was
lying in front of her, tiny hand clasped firmly within his own.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
Her touch, the feel of her soft skin enveloped by his was so
precious to him, so small but yet so very important. He wanted to
hold onto her forever, to never let go of her hand so that she
might not wander from him. But that wish was impossible, and
never to be fulfilled, for she was leaving him. Not today, maybe,
not tomorrow....but soon. Thinking of it made him squeeze her a
little tighter, encouraged the tears that always hid just behind
his eyes. She never saw him cry, though. He was strong for her,
he had to be. She needed him to be strong enough for both of
them.
I need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh, and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
Looking at her, he was reminded of that night years ago, the
night he'd come home to find her sleeping on the couch. The night
he'd left. But he didn't want to think of that now. Not of a time
when they had been unhappy, when they had been apart. All he
wanted was to remember how happy they had been the second time,
their second chance. How perfect everything had finally been,
when they'd had everything they'd set out for. When just being
with each other had filled them with such happiness.
Their wedding day. He could almost smile at the
thought of it, the best day of his life. The day Liz Parker had
become Liz Evans. How beautiful she had looked in her long white
dress, with her hair pinned up on her head as she walked down the
aisle, so slowly approaching him.
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
The sound of her raspy breathing shook him from his thoughts,
directing his full attention back to her. The painful look on her
sleeping face cut into him like a knife, the sound of each breath
like the knife slowly turning inside him. He was almost sure that
when he would die right along with her.
Placing a gentle kiss on his fingertips, he lowered them to her
lips, lightly brushing against them.
"Rest, Love."
And then the pained look passed, and her breathing returned to
normal as she returned to her peaceful sleep.
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It was a small reassurance, the ability to make this easier for
her. But he knew that when the time did come, he would not be
able to stop it. Her time had come, and nothing he did could
change that. At least he could give her this, though.
His thoughts drifted back to the day he'd found out. It had been like a bomb exploding inside of him, shaking his entire existence. The horror that neither of them had ever expected.
"I'm sick."
A punch in the stomach. Small compared to what he would feel soon.
"S..sick? How sick?"
He watched as she closed her eyes, braced herself for the hurt that would come.
"Dying, Max."
Don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
The words he'd never imagined coming from her mouth. The thing
he'd never expected would happen--losing his Liz. Sighing, he
gently stroked her soft hair with his free hand.
"I love you, Liz."
And he just watched, watched as his precious wife slept.
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you feel
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Chapter 2
He watched silently as she brushed her hair, as her weak hands shook with the effort to hold the wooden brush. He watched as she studied the brush each time, saw the look of terror in her eyes as she spied the huge clumps of hair that had come from her. He was always watching. Always looking out for her.
Most of her hair was gone now. It had began slowly, but now she could barerly touch her hair without some falling out. He saw how much it hurt her, to be going through this, to be slowly falling apart. It killed him too. But she was brave, brave as she'd always been. She would never let anyone see how badly she was really taking this. No one except for him. He saw, whether she wanted him to or not. He could see into her soul without trying, know the deepest secrets of her heart without asking. And it had nothing to do with him being an alien. It was because she was his soulmate, and he knew her completely and without flaw. He loved every part of her.
"Max."
He averted his gaze to her eyes, feeling himself falling into their depths, pulled in by the longing and pain there. She was crying.
She reached out for him, her arms thin and sickly, hands trembling. He pulled her to him without hesitation, holding her tightly against him and kissing her hair as she cried.
Her strength was emptied, her resolve gone. All that was left were her heart and her soul, and he held both in his hands. But no matter what happened, she was always his Liz. She was always his girl.
As he held her, he was praying....trusting in a higher power as he never had before and asking God not to take her away from him. Promising that if he would give him another chance, he would try harder..he wouldn't leave. He would take care of her. 'Just don't take her away.'
She had pulled away from him then, face wet with tears, tired and sad. "Max...am I still beautiful?"
He choked back a painful sob as a tear fell from his eye, raining down on her hair. "God, Liz...of course. You have always been beautiful to me. You always will be." His voice was a whisper, thick with emotion. Anything else would have been impossible.
"I love you." It was all she had left.
"And I love you."
The familiar response calmed her. She laid her
head against his chest again, releasing a shaky sigh.
He still never released his grasp on her. For he was afraid that
if he did, she might slip away. And this time, when she slipped
he would not be able to catch her.
She was sleeping again, lying on the bed bundled up with quilts and comforters. He was sitting in the armchair against the wall, chin propped upon his clasped hands as he watched her. He never slept anymore, never rested. It was as if the rest she got was enough for both of them. All he needed was to look at her, to know she was alright. To be sure she was peaceful.
As he stared, his mind was invaded again with memories of his departure. His kidnapping. He'd been sleeping in their bed when they had come, dressed in black with quiet voices. They had taken him, drugged him and carried him away from his home, away from Liz. The place...the lab where he had lived for that horrible year had been torture. But not torture because of the people, or the things they did to him...torture because he was there without her. He couldn't touch her or look at her, and he had no idea of where she was and if she was safe. It had been enough to drive him insane, wondering each day if she same people had her somewhere, if they were hurting her. Or if she had moved on from him, found someone else who made her happier. The thoughts had been tormenting.
Finally, though, he'd escaped. Escaped and come right back home, home to Liz. Seeing her again, being with her..was everything he'd dreamed of. And yet it was different. She was different, changed by the events of that year. Her rape, her loneliness. It had eaten away at her soul, made her weaker and sadder.
Things got better, though. As time passed and they grew close again, she had returned to her old self. And this time around, they had done it right. No more did they let days pass without speaking, or lie apart in their bed. They loved each other in every way, they took time to be with each other. He had been so happy, and so had she.
But then this. Out of the blue, Liz was sick. She
had cancer. And she was dying. Right in front of his eyes, each
day, she was fading away. Soon she would be gone completely, and
all he would have left would be memories.The thought tore him
apart.
2 days later
"Bye Liz."
She smiled that tiny half smile. "Bye Max. I love you."
"And I love you."
Maria closed the car door, walking around to the driver's side."We'll be back before you can say Czechoslovakia."
Max laughed a little.
"Does it have to be right?"
Liz was rolling down her window, motioning for him to come closer. He squatted down on the ground so that he was eye level with her. "Yes?"
"Max..." She paused, summoning strength. "You know I love you. That will always be true. Even when I'm gone."
Max felt himself shaking. "Liz..."
"No. I need to say this. You need to listen. Really listen. We both know I'm dying Max. Soon I won't be here for you anymore. But I know you'll be okay without me. You just have to be strong. Remember that you still have your family."
"You are my family Liz."
She gently caressed his cheek.
"And you're mine. So just..never forget that. Or that I love you, more than anything."
A tear slipped down his face. "I won't."
Their eyes locked for a moment, so much emotion passing between them, so many words that no one else could hear.
"Bye, Max."
He stood and stepped away from the car, watching as it slowly pulled away. Feeling his heart breaking as he watched her through the back window, watching as she left.
That night
He heard the ambulance long before he saw it; heard the sirens before their shrill screams pierced the still quiet air around their home. And he knew why; he knew who lie in the speeding vehicle before even a coherant thought crossed his mind.
Her name was on his lips. "Liz."
A silent plea for help.
He was gone before the ambulance even passed the building.
Chapter 3
There was no noise in the tiny room.
Mostly it was empty, empty save a small metal table standing, isolated like an island in the center of the room.
The table was short, small, a white sheet pulled across it to hide the figure that rested upon the silver top.
The figure didn't move, didn't flinch, only lie frozen under the cloth.The only part of her to be seen was the small wisp of dark hair, peeking out from beneath the stiff fabric.
The doctors were gone for now, gone to address the friends and family that waited just outside, anxious for some news. But not this news.
The report the doctor held, the clipboard he clutched on to as he spoke in a quiet tone to the small group gathered in a huddle of chairs, told everything. Liz Parker. 24 years old. Married. Cancer patient. Died at approximately 10:05 p.m., December 7 2007.
Max checked his watch as he ran into the hospital doors. 10:04. If only he could run a little faster, he knew he would make it in time. If only he could have driven a little bit quicker. A number echoed through his mind. 4...4....4....4..."4th floor," he whispered under his breath.
It was where she was.
And then he was on the elevator, standing and waiting, praying that the people would hurry, that the doors would close a little faster. 4....4...4...4 'Liz, just hold on...just a few more seconds..'
He was so close.The man next to him coughed, and
Max felt drawn to his watch, the huge green
glowing numbers standing out in the semi-dimness of the elevator.
10:05. A sharp pain in his chest.
"Liz." His voice came out strangled, pleading, broken. "L.ii...zzz." The sobs overcame him so quickly, rose up from deep within him and shook him so forcefully that he sank to his knees. "Oh, God, no!" Head raised, he screamed out through his tears. He had been too late.
She was gone, she had left him. And he had not been by her side. He had not been there to say goodbye.
Maria watched Max, studied him carefully. He had not moved for minutes now, had not averted his gaze from the floor. "Max?" She reached out and touched his back, gently, trying to gain his attention. It didn't even seem to faze him. "Max. Please."
They were the only ones left now. Everyone else had gone home, had left to grieve in privacy. All that was left here was sadness, and death.
And Liz. Her body. But not her spirit.
Maria rubbed her eyes tiredly. All of her tears spent, all she had left was a dull ache that came with every beat of her heart. "She..she wanted me to tell you goodbye, Max. She wanted me to tell you that it was okay."
She couldn't see his face, but she heard his sob. The half-gasp, half-groan that came from him, the muffled sound of pain.
"I have to see her." It was the first words she'd heard from him all night.
"I...I don't think you.."
He wasn't listening, though. He just stood, and
walked away, his shoes making a soft sound on the hard tile as he
escaped down the corridor. And he seemed to know right where she
would be.
He stared in front of him, took in the table and the sheet and the form below it.
Another part of him died, the memory searing his brain like a torch.
He was drawn to the lock of hair that had fallen out, the only patch of color in the whole of the starkly white room. He wanted to walk to her, to touch her hair again and to look at her face one last time.
But he couldn't move, he was rooted to the cold floor as he watched. Even in her death, he was still watching. A sob caught in his throat. He could smell her perfume.
'10:05'
A minute too late. He was always too late.
'She wanted me to tell you that it was okay.'
She'd known he would feel this way. She knew his heart...It still didn't help, though. She had deserved goodbye.'She wanted me to tell you goodbye.'
'And that she loved me.'
She'd been thinking it, he knew. She'd know that he would. There was not even a need to send that message.
He walked to her, released from the forces that held them apart. Gently, he touched the sheet. Pulled it back, revealed her face. Another sob, tearing through him painfully. "My girl.."
Her face was drawn, pale, her lips blue. But pulled into the slightest smile. Liz had always said she'd die with a smile on her face. As long as she had him.He touched her hair, tenderly stroked the soft mane. If only he could see her smile once more, if only he could hold her hand and kiss her...he could let go. If he could just say goodbye..tell her that he loved her.
A flash in his head, a memory of that morning. Watching as she pulled away, rode away from him and looked back. Looking so sad. Her voice as she'd said goodbye.
He knew it then, that she'd known it was the last time they'd see each other. She'd known that she was dying, and she had said nothing. She knew it would break his heart.
'She gave you the chance to say goodbye. She told you it would be okay.'
Twice.
And he cried for his Liz, cried for her again. She was so strong, and so brave, so loving.
He leaned down, placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead. "Goodbye, Liz."
A tear fell from him, dripped onto her face and ran down to rest on her lips. "Goodbye, Max."
Turning his head, he was met with the bright
light. With the vision of her. She had come back for him. No
words passed between them, no words were needed just then. He
reached out, taking her hand gently. She pulled him to her, held
his limp body against her tightly, her strength
returned.And then she kissed him, kissed him softly and sweetly,
left him one precious
memory of them.
"I love you, Max."
He closed his eyes, held her close. "And I love you."
When he opened his eyes, she was gone.