Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Liz, Max, Alex, Isabel, Michael, Maria and any other people you're familiar with such as Diane Evans or Kyle belong to Melinda Metz and Jason Katims and the WB. Cassie is Linda's, used with her permission. Alyssa and Matthew and Alan and Pete and Tonya and the ones you don't recognize are all mine.
Rating: R for language, violence and content.
Category: Well, a lot of this is about Liz, but it's also M/L, A/I, and M/M...
Spoilers: Up through "Blood Brothers" from the tv show, Roswell High book 5, and my fic, "Matters of Trust."
Author's Note: This is a sequel to my fic, "Matters of Trust" and if you haven't read it, I strongly suggest reading it before you read anymore of this one. Hold on guys, this isn't even half finished yet, I don't think...There's a long road ahead...
Ghosts (Part 17)
Liz was filled with a sense of dread as she woke up Tuesday morning.
She hadn't had bad dreams last night, but she suspected that was because she'd fallen asleep in Max's arms, and she always felt safe with Max.
But it was the same kind of dread she usually had after waking up from a bad dream.
She stuffed down the feeling as she glanced up at Max, who was still sleeping. As much as she hated to do it, she had to wake him up so he could go home and she could get ready for the visitation and funeral today.
"Max," she whispered.
His eyes opened and he glanced down at her. "Hey, good morning."
"Morning," she answered, offering him the best imitation of a smile she could conjure up. "My parents will be expecting me for breakfast shortly."
He yawned, stretched and nodded. "Guess that's my cue to hit the road, huh?"
She kissed his cheek. "Yeah, for now. But thanks for coming over here last night."
"Where else would I be?" Max asked softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear as he gazed into her eyes.
Liz felt an overwhelming wave of guilt wash over her. Max was being so good to her, and she couldn't even be honest with him about how she was feeling.
When had that happened? When had she allowed something to come between the two of them? They'd been so close for so long, and now it felt like there were miles between them and the thought saddened her. She loved Max with all of her heart and soul, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him about the nightmares she'd been having about Uncle Charlie...or the other ones. Not yet.
"I'll see you later," she whispered as she stood up, breaking eye contact with him. She didn't wait for a response as she climbed inside her room through her window. But she felt the hurt she left him with as he stood out on her roof, staring at her retreating figure.
Maria spotted Michael right away as she and her mother arrived at the funeral home. He was wearing a suit that looked a little small on him, and Maria guessed it was one of Max's.
Amy looked down at her, over to Michael, and smiled slightly. "I'm going to go see how Nancy and Jeff are holding up," Amy said.
"Okay," Maria agreed. She waited as her mother walked across the room, and then she headed for her boyfriend. He immediatly pulled her into his arms and gave her a quick hug. "I missed you last night."
"Ditto," he said. He took her hand and glanced around the room. "Liz is the only one here so far." He shifted uncomfortably, loosening his collar.
Maria looked over at Liz, who was standing with her parents, and even from across the room, she could tell her friend was nervous. "Let's go see how she's doing," she suggested.
He nodded and held onto her hand as they moved over to where Liz, Jeff and Nancy Parker were standing with Amy DeLuca. Amy gave Liz a quick hug. "How are you doing, sweetie?"
"I'm okay," Liz replied, but Maria knew she was lying.
Maria moved to her side and slid an arm around her shoulders as the adults wandered off. "We're here for you," she whispered into Liz's ear.
Liz gave her a greatful look and nodded.
"There's Max and Isabel," Michael said as the two approached.
Max looked handsome in a black suit and tie, and Isabel was beautiful in a navy blue dress with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Max immediatly moved to Liz's other side and wrapped an arm around her waist.
Isabel glanced at Liz, and then at Michael and Maria. "How's she doing?" she asked Michael in a barely audible voice.
Michael just looked at her and shrugged. Isabel sighed.
"Where's Alex?" Maria asked.
"I'm here," he said as he came up behind them, wearing a suit nearly identical to Max's. He grinned at Max. "I like your suit."
Max grinned. "You have good taste, Whitman."
"In clothes and women," Alex said as he put an arm around Isabel, who smacked him on the arm playfully.
"Lizzie!" a voice said from behind them.
The six of them turned around to see who'd spoken. Liz broke away from Max and Maria and hugged her aunt Louise. "Hi."
"Hi, Lizzie. How are you doing?" Aunt Louise asked, standing back to look at her. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you."
Maria studied the woman. She had long, curly red hair and dark brown eyes, and was probably in her mid-forties.
"I'm so sorry about Charlie, Lizzie." She brushed a strand of hair out of her niece's face. "You were his favorite, you know."
She felt Michael tense beside her and squeeze her hand a bit tighter. She squeezed it back.
"Well, I'm going to go see my brother." Aunt Louise walked away.
Max moved to put his arm around Liz again, but she shook her head. "I'm going to get some air." Her tone of voice startled them all, and she headed for the door without another word. Max looked like he'd been slapped.
Maria started to go after her, but Michael caught her arm. "Let me go," he said quietly.
She nodded in silent agreement and watched him follow her best friend.
Liz stepped outside into the warm New Mexico air. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she sat down on the concrete bench. She heard footsteps behind her and without turning around, said, "I'm fine, Michael."
"That's what you keep saying." He sat down next to her, but didn't look at her, only gazed across the horizon.
"I am," she insisted.
"Look, not a whole lot of people here understand what you're going through here. Don't push away the ones who do." He let the words linger for a moment. "We care about you. All of us. And we're worried."
"So am I," Liz answered softly.
"It's okay to feel however you're feeling."
She almost smiled. Even after four years, she knew what a tough time Michael had expressing his own feelings to people, and yet, here he was, trying to get her to. "You're a good friend, Michael. Thank you."
When she didn't say anything else, he stood up and sighed. "Whenever you're ready...we're waiting."
"I know," she whispered. But she was pretty sure Michael didn't hear her as he walked back inside the funeral home.
Honestly, she didn't know how she was feeling. Part of her was relieved. Relieved that she didn't have to wonder if her uncle would ever try to contact her again, relieved that she wouldn't have to worry about running into him someday, even a bit relieved that he was dead. But part of her was sad, too. Sad for her father, who had lost his best friend, sad for all the other relatives that loved Charlie, and sad for herself because she couldn't ever get back what he had taken from her.
"Liz?"
She rose up off the bench and turned around, her eyes widening in surprise. "Kyle!"
Kyle Valenti smiled at her, his arm around a pretty red head that looked vaguely familiar. "You remember Cassie Owens?"
"Yeah, of course! Cassie, hi!" She was surprised as Cassie hugged her. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine," Cassie said quietly, a warm smile on her face. "How are you doing?"
"Okay," Liz responded.
Kyle met her eyes and frowned. "Where's Max?"
"Uh...inside, I think," Liz said, looking away. Was it that apparent to everyone how bad she was feeling?
"Well, we were just headed in. Why don't you come with us?" Kyle suggested, his voice worried.
"Yeah, sure." Liz took a deep breath and walked inside with Kyle and Cassie. The second she was inside she spotted Maria and Alex talking quietly in the lobby, worried looks on both of their faces. When Maria looked up and saw Liz walking with Kyle and Cassie, her eyes widened and she and Alex headed over.
"Hey, Alex. Maria," Kyle greeted them.
Maria smiled at him. "Hey, Kyle. How's it going?"
"Good."
"Cassie, I haven't seen you for so long!" Maria said excitedly, hugging her. "So you two are--?"
Kyle and Cassie exchanged a look and smiled. "Yeah."
"How long?"
"Since the beginning of the semester. Cassie started attending U.N.M. and we have an English class together."
"Bonding over Shakespeare, are we?" Alex asked, unable to hold back a grin.
"Something like that," Cassie agreed, returning his smile.
Alex's gaze flickered over to Liz and he met her eyes. "Would you excuse us for a minute?" he said to the others. He draped an arm around Liz's shoulders and lead her away from the group. "Liz, what's going on?"
Kyle glanced around the funeral home as Cassie and Maria headed off to go the restroom. Why women had to go in pairs to the bathroom was beyond his realm of comprehension.
His gaze finally rested on the person he was looking for and he walked over. "Max. We need to talk."