Episode 11

EVEC

Emma- I figured we needed to do another disclaimer, since there will be multiple other shows involved in this episode. *sigh* Ok, here we go. We don't own Rurouni Kenshin, Star Wars, Inu-Yasha, Pokemon, Martha Stewart, or Austin Powers. Am I forgetting anyone?

Steph- We don't own Harry Potter either. . .

Yami Yugi- Ahem, this the Yami Bunch and---YOU WANNA D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL ME?! THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO TAKE ME ON IN A FULL-FLEDGED, MIND- BLOWING, ACTION-PACKED DUEL?! WELL THEN MEET ME AT THE KAME GAME SHOP IN DOMINO CITY TOMORROW AT 7:00 P.M. SHARP, AND I'LL SHOW YOU THE TRUE POWER OF THE HEART OF THE CARDS!!! AND IF YOU SHOULD CHEAT?! Well then I'll just have to make things a little more interesting. . . WITH A PENALTY GAME!!!

Executive Producer- Cut!!! Oh Ra, what was I thinking? Hiring Yami Yugi to introduce the Yami Bunch?! I'm running out of options here. . .

Tea- Yugi, that was great! You were really good up there!

Yami Yugi- I do have a way with words, do I not?

Executive producer- (to himself) Tea. . .hmmm. . .Hey Tea!

Tea- Yes?

Executive producer- How would you like a job introducing the Yami Bunch?

Tea- Really? I'd love it!!!! I can see it now! First a famous TV host, next a Broadway dancing star!!!!

Executive producer- Uh, yeah sure. Just answer three these three questions, and you'll be evaluated to be on the introducer. Have you ever been fired from a job, because of unruly physical contact meant to harm?

Tea- Well. . .yes. . .I got fired from being a waitress at this one restaurant, because I hit a customer over the head with a steel ladle, punched him, fracturing one of his ribs, then knocked him out with a heavy china plate, and used all his teeth to make a pretty necklace for me. See? *pulls out necklace and shows it proudly*

Executive producer- O_o What did he do to you to deserve that?!

Tea- He asked for ketchup, and I'm like, "Get it yourself lazy ass!" And he's like, "Where is it?" And I'm like, "Over there, butt-head!" And then he was about to thank me, and I hit him over the head, punched him, and knocked him out. Tuh! What a jerk!

Executive producer (Inside his head: Geez, I can't even think about what she does is someone asks for mustard)- Ummmm. . .okkkkkkaaayyyy, next question. Have you ever hosted a TV show?

Tea- No. . .but I was once on Jerry Springer, does that count?

Executive producer- Ummmmmmm, no. Anyway, last question. . .which do you like better, pink or blue?

Tea- That's a question?!

Executive producer- Uh--- *looks down exasperatedly at the paper which says, "Have you ever been to jail?"*---Yep, that's the question.

Tea- Oh ok, well I like pink better.

Executive producer- Well then. . .you're hired!

Week 3, Day 1, 9:03 p.m., in the kitchen

Emma- What died in here?!

Yami Bakura- Joey, that smells atrocious! What foul beast have you resurrected this time?

Tea- Be nice. Joey's making pizza and I think it smells. . . uh, wonderful. ^_^; *holds nose in polite disgust as Joey looks away*

Tristen- Yeah, I guess you could make dirt pretty tasty. . .

Joey- Wha?! Dirt?! This ain't no dirt! Why, it's da finest ingredients, imported straight from New York, my homelan'!

Pegasus- Hear that Mr. Smelly-Melly? Joey's finally confessing to using up the monthly budget for all of us. . .Honesty is over-rated if you ask me, though. . . .Of course you can have some macaroni! Why didn't you just say so?! Speak up next time, okay Smelly?!

Mai- WHAT?! YOU USED UP THE ENTIRE YAMI BUNCH BUDGET ON YOUR TOXIC WASTE, JOEY?!?!

Joey- Toxic waste? I think ya meant to say yummy delicious dinna! Bon Appetit! *kisses his fingers away from his mouth and makes a puckering sound*

Mai and Duke in unison- NOW I CAN'T BUY MY HARPY HAIRSPRAY!!!!

Bakura *blushes and touches Duke's hair compassionately*- And we all know how my beautiful Dukie-love gets when he doesn't have his special hair spray. . .

Yami Yugi- And don't forget that we can't buy Nestor's Haircare produc--- Oh, why! Why did he have to go?! Nestor, my son, I miss you!!!! *falls to knees and starts sobbing on Tea's lap*

Tea *pats Yami Yugi consolingly*- There, there Yami. . . .you still have Nestifer. . . .

Yami Yugi- It's not the same!!! *mutates into Yugi*

Yugi- Sorry guys. Is my Yami crying over Nestor again? He kinda gets attached to his pets a little too much sometimes. . .

Marik- No. Actually, we were just telling him that we were planning to beat him. . .again.

Yugi- Hey, you stop that, you. . .big meanie bullies! *smiles in satisfaction as if he had said the best comeback ever*

Steph- Pathetic coward! Is that the best thou couldst do?!

Yami Bakura *snorts*- Pathetic.

Marik- Allow me take care of this feeble mouse! *pulls dagger out of the millennium rod*

Tea *shakes finger triumphantly*- Ah, ah, ah! Rule # 478 clearly states that there shall be no violent physical contact to other members of the household.

Steph- And we would follow the rules because?

Tea- If you don't, you won't get paid for being on the show and that means no new weapons, plus you won't get your weapons back at the end of the year either.

Yami Bakura *stutters*- But, but, but---

Emma- Fine then! We'll go along with your stupid rules! Yami Bakura, why don't you show Yugi the joys of having his soul ripped away from his weak useless body and placed in an inanimate object. . . like one of Joey's pizza rocks for example? *evil smirk*

Yami Bakura (uncharacteristically cheerful voice)- Why that sounds like a lovely idea, Em! I'm sure Yugi would be thrilled to have his innocent little spirit torn ou--

Tea- That's enough!!! Rule # 272 declares that there shall be no permanent emotional harm or damage done onto another member's mind(s) {optional 's' just in case Pegasus gains another personality}, body, soul, or extra limbs!

Emma and Stephanie- O_o

Marik- Thou ruin all the fun, Tea. What a party-pooper!

Yugi- Grrr! You guys are sooo evil! You make me mad!

Emma- Oh no everyone! The scrawny one's mad! Run for your lives!

Yugi- Why can't you guys just be not evil for once?! *Marik starts gasping for breath*

Steph- Breathe, Marik, breathe! 'Tis okay!

Marik *panting*- Those words. . . can they be used. . .in a sentence. . .like that?

Yugi (taunting voice)- Not evil! Not evil! Not evil! Not evil! No--- *Emma punches him in the face*

Yugi- x_x

Emma- That's enough out of you. You're just asking for a thrashing, aren't you?

Yugi (with a fat lip)- I cuhb take on all of wou!

Yami Bakura- Ha! I could take you on with my eyes shut, hands and legs tied together! Amateur!

Yugi- I'm gonna give you a sample of some whoop-ass! (Tea gasps and says, "Yugi, you know that kind of language isn't tolerated! Go to time-out!")

Marik- Yeah? Well I'll give thou a whole can of whoop-ass! How do thou like that?!

Yugi- Well, you don't have a can-opener!

Steph- We donst need one! We'll just use thy hair to pry it open!

Yugi- Yeah?

Emma- Yeah! And then we'll force-feed you Mr. Smelly Melly's macaroni!

Pegasus (maniacal look appears on his face shoot up flames shoot up in his eyes with little devil horns)- DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MR. SMELLY-MELLY'S DINNER, OR I WILL USE YOUR OWN INTESTINAL LINING TO STRANGLE YOU, BURN YOUR EYES OUT WITH LIQUID NITROGEN, THEN LIGHT YOU ON FIRE AFTER I HOSE YOU DOWN WITH GASOLINE AND STUFF YOUR HALF-ALIVE BODY WITH PARTIALLY RUSTED NAILS AND A BOX OF CORNFLAKES!!!

Evil Four- O_o

Steph- Now why donst thou use threats like that at the convention, Pegasus?

Emma- *gasps* The convention!!!

Steph- Oh no! We're late!

Tea- Convention?

Joey *turns around*- Is it a cookin' convention? I'll smoke all da competition!

Tristen *smirks jokingly*- Like you're doing right now with your pizza?

Joey- Huh? *turns back to stove, which is now enveloped in flames and some smoldering remains of pizza dough and gods know what stuck on the surface* MY PIZZA/UNKNOWN EDIBLE CONTENTS!!!!

Yami Bakura- Come on. I'm not going to witness another scene of havoc is this household. Let's go. *Evil Four starts to leave, when Yugi tugs on the back of Stephanie's shirt*

Steph (not bothering to look behind her)- Marik wait until tonight, okay anata?

Yugi *blushes*- No, it's me.

Steph- (doesn't say anything, just immediately takes a swing at Yugi. Unfortunately, it hits his hair, which reverberates slightly with a fist mark imprint, then springs back unharmed) Damn thou Yugi! And thy hair gel too!

Yugi- Ha ha, I'm invincible! *springs his hair forward* I'm not finished with you guys yet! You're not leaving 'till I teach you a lesson!

Marik *whispers threateningly into Yugi's ear*- Listen, unless thou wishes to have thy body dissected and sacrificed to the gods, I suggest thou leave us alone. Do thou un-derr-stah-nn-d? *Evil Four snickers*

Yugi- Well, you. . .you just better watch out! This time, I'm letting you off easy, but next time, you won't be so lucky. Hpmh!

~*~*~* 10: 16 p.m., At the convention ~*~*~*

Yami Bakura, Marik, Stephanie, and Emma race to the concealed doors, after evading several lethal traps and open them to reveal a long dark corridor, lit only by the dim glow of torches. In the distance they hear the soft murmuring of voices, and they hastily sprint toward them. They finally end up in a huge hall, where the walls are adorned with all the torture instruments imaginable.

Pegasus- Ah, here they are! Welcome to the Evil Villains Everywhere Convention, also known as E.V.E.C. I was wondering if you were going to show up. So was Mr. Smelly-Melly. He got kinda worried. *pauses to pet his sock reassuringly* Anyway, password please.

Marik- Acko acko di (A/N: death in Egyptian).

Pegasus- Very well, you may enter. May I take your coats or cloaks?

Yami Bakura (mockingly)- They appointed you for a new job, Peggie-boy? Or should I say coatie-boy?

Pegasus *growls*- You know, some villains just don't appreciate the wonderful cartoon world of Funny Bunny. They told me that when I start behaving more like a villain and stop watching 3-year-old shows, I could be accepted as a member again. They said that for now I'll just be a coat- person. Hpmh! Well, Mr. Smelly-Melly and I don't care what they say and are sticking by our cartoons no matter what!

Emma (sarcastically)- Good for you, Peggie-boy!

Pegasus (frustrated)- For the last time, it's Maxarooni!!!!!!!

The Evil Four walk around aimlessly, bumping into other villains and greeting them as old friends. Everyone is excitedly awaiting the opening speech to start off the meeting and wondering if president of E.V.E.C. would make an appearance.

Jesse- Hey! How are you, Stephanie and Marik? I haven't seen you for a long time.

Steph *rolls her eyes*- Yeah. . .a real shame. . . well, how art thou coming along with thy evil career?

James- Well, we're working for Giovanni, president of Team Rocket and---

Marik- Still?! Donst thou ever want to move on?! I mean, everyone already knows that thou two art the worst criminals ever. You're a disgrace to all of us, villains! Thou make a bad name for us and for the entire profession of evilness!

Jesse- Well once we catch Ash's super-powered up Pikachu, then we'll be promoted to a higher spot on Team Rocket!

Meowth- Meowth, that's right!

Emma *shakes her head incredulously*- I can't believe they actually let you losers into this convention.

James *ignores Emma's comment*- Say, where's my ol' best buddy Pegasus? I have to ask him about how his bottle cap collection is coming along. Hopefully he'll be willing to trade some with me! *giggles childishly*

Yami Bakura- Heh, heh. He's taking coats.

James- Oh. . .why's he doing that?

Emma- He'll tell you the story. Oh and call him Peggie-boy. He really likes that nickname.

James- Uh, thanks!

Yami Bakura- No problem. *Evil Four tries to hide their snickering, just as a guy in a dog costume comes over*

Guy in dog costume- Hello! Welcome to da evil convention! I hope dat ya guys are enjoyin' yaselves!

Emma- Hey, lookie who it is! Spanky the dog!

Steph *kicks the guy in the costume*- Hey, I was just on my way to the big doofus convention. Want a ride?

Guy in dog costume- Hey, dat's not nice! And my name's Sparky the dog, so just shut ya trap!

Yami Bakura- What is this. . .the third year you've been hired the evil mascot, Joey? *grips the costume's ears and pulls them back quickly so that Joey is on the ground, helplessly trying to get back up* Foolish mortal, you should be sacrificed. I can't believe they actually pay you to do this.

Guy in dog costume a.k.a. Joey- Hey, a guy's gotta make money to get his food ya know!

Marik- 'Sup dawg?! *kicks Joey back down as he finally starts to get back up*

Joey- You'll pay for dat! Jus' leave me alone guys! *cowers*

Emma- Oh come on, little Poochie, don't you wanna play fetch?! *holds a slice of cake over Joey's head so that he can't get it*

Joey- Gimme dat!

Emma- Oh, we don't want to spoil your appetite though. Maybe I should just throw it away. . .

Joey *groans*- Nooooooooooooooo! I'll do anythang! Just gimme it!

Steph- Anything?

Joey- Ya! Pleeeeaase jus' gimme da slice already!!!! Ya killin' me!

Marik- Allright little Poochie. Thou must induce Tea to annihilate all her stupid household rules.

Yami Bakura *sighs*- I think I should explain this to him Marik. You must understand that Joey is very simple-minded. Big words like stupid confuse him. *turns to Joey* Me Yami Bakura, you Joey. Joey must hurt Tea. Joey tell her to take away rules. Then Joey get food.

Joey *pants*- Ya! Me do dat! Me want food! *wags his costume tail excitedly*

Yami Bakura- You see? *Sesshomaru (from Inu-Yasha) floats over*

Sesshomeru- Hello Yami Bakura.

Yami Bakura- Sess, what up? (both do their signature greeting; they act like they are lighting an imaginary cigarette, then smoke it, finally putting it out on the others back) So have you killed and gutted that annoying little half-breed brother of yours yet?

Emma- Ya youkai-chan, you promised me his pelt when you do!

Sesshomaru- Unfortunately, his little gang continues to elude me. . . *narrows his eyes*

Marik- What 'tis it?

Sesshomaru- I smell. . . pervert. *glides over to the table Emma and Stephanie are standing in front of and flips it over effortlessly* (evil smirk) What do we have here?

Miroku *hastily stands up from the remains of the table where he was peeking under Emma and Stephanie's skirts*- Hey! Nice outfits, girls! Lookin' goooooood! *starts going toward Stephanie and Emma, who are eyeing him suspiciously*

Marik and Yami Bakura- Ahem?

Miroku- Who are you?

Marik- We just happen to be the. . . significant others of these girls.

Yami Bakura- And I suggest you back off, if you know what's good for you.

Marik- Unless of course, thou would like to have thy soul to be forever lost in the boundless solitude and despair of the Shadow Realm?

Miroku *gulps nervously*- Heh heh, I'm the best uh. . .outfit judge here. I judge the outfits of all the villains and whoever wins gets a prize! That's why I was admiring your delectable girl's outfits! *hand twitches as if wanting to grab something*

Marik (suspiciously)- Thou do not look like a villain. . .why haven't I seen thou hither before?

Miroku- Um, well I just joined. I'm one of the storm troopers that dies in the beginning of the new Star Wars movie. Yeah, and they told me I could be the costume judge here. . .I wasn't checkin' out your girlfriends if that's what you think. *sweat drop appears on his forehead* No way! I would never do that!

Marik *scowls* (in a dangerous tone)- Well then, I guess it's all right, but I swear if thou try anything stupid, especially with one of those two girls, thy life will not be spared. *Yami Bakura loads a pistol*

Miroku- No, no. Of course I won't. I uh, respect your wishes, and I promise I won't try anything. *crosses fingers behind his back* You can count on me!

*Naraku appears from behind Miroku in a puff of smoke*

Naraku- Mufufu, you're not an evil villain. Don't you travel with Inu- Yasha, my mortal enemy?

Miroku *looks around as if he is confused*- Uh, no. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Naraku- You know of whom I speak of, mufu. You are the perverted monk that travels with Inu-Yasha. How did you get in here?! Mufu.

Marik- WHAT?! So then thou lied to me?! I knew something was devious about thou! *gains a murderous expression at Miroku as Yami Bakura licks his knife*

Miroku- Uh. . .you know what, I would really love to stay and chat, but I really have to go off and do some, uh, errands! Sorry! Bye! *races off to the exit*

Yami Bakura- (simply) Next time we meet, I am going to kill him. *winces* Ouch!

Everyone looks behind him to see Yura of the Demon Hair tugging on Yami Bakura's hair (also from Inu-Yasha. A/N/- Can you tell it's one of our fav. shows? ^_^)

Yura- What pretty silver hair. . . I simply MUST have this hair! *smiles flirtily at Yami Bakura*

Emma *frowns*- Back off bitch.

Yura- Now that wasn't very nice Emma! *laughs in an annoying, Mai-like way*

Emma (now positively fuming)- O I'm sorry, would you prefer my foot up your- --

Announcer voice, which sounds oddly like Miroku- Attention sexxxxxxxxxxy (prolongs the word) villain women, and guys too. . . I guess. . . Please gather at the stage for an announcement from the president (a minute of silence) You know ladies, I am. . . un-attached, so if you want some--- *oomph!*

Voice of Darth Vader, the real announcer, comes on the speaker- You shouldn't have come back. I knew he wasn't a villain when he used please. *sounds of lightsaber fighting* The Force is strong with this one. . . (sounds of Miroku commenting on how shiny Vader's helmet is, a.k.a. he's sucking up to him ^_^) It seems he has lost.

Miroku- Never! You killed my father!

Darth Vader- No you hentai-loving little monk. . . I am your father!

Miroku- Nooooooooooooooo!!!!! O wait, Naraku killed my father, not you! (non-chalantly) Never mind.

Darth Vader- Your lack of faith disturbs me. Or wait, dammit, do I have the wrong guy again? I hate when this happens . . .

Emma- Hey look Steph, there's Shishio (A/N: Rurouni Kenshin, another of our fav. shows) *Shishio is talking to aspiring young villains in a fatherly tone*

Shishio- Do you see this kids? *shows a particularly gruesome scar. All the kids wince.* This is what happens when you become a pyro-maniac. Remember, don't play with fire! It is not your friend! Fire will only ruin your otherwise perfect plans to burn major cities. . . like Kyoto. And you lose all chances you once had of getting a hot girl.

Emma- Do you see him Steph? Steph? *turns around to see her waving her hand vaguely in front of Marik*

Steph- Anata? *waves her hand in front of Marik, who is standing in complete awe* Marik?

Marik (breathlessly)- 'Tis my life dream to meet Darth Vader! The greatest villain of all time! *starts hyperventilating*

Steph (worriedly)- Marik, remember what happens when you get all excited?

(Yami Marik pops out)- *does a voice like Braveheart* FREEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!! Yo, Yami Bakura homie!

Yami Bakura- Yami Marik! Long time, no see!

Yami Marik- YAAAA!!!!!! *does an impression of Tarzan, which morphs into one of SpongeBob's victory screeches* Excuse me, but I must go torture old ladies right now. Bye, Steph-chan! *walks away, sauntering in a way like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean*

Stephanie- Marik-chan, is it safe to have your Yami walking around un- restrained?

Marik- We're at a villain convention. What harm could he possibly do?

Yami Marik- *lights a match next Shishio*

Shishio- AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME AND ROAST ME OVER A PALM TREE FUELED FIRE LIKE A PIG ON A SPIT WITH AN APPLE IN IT'S MOUTH AT A NATIVE SACRIFICE/FEAST ON SOME DESERT ISLAND THAT HASN'T EVEN BEEN DISCOVERED BY MODERN MAN?!?!

Yami Marik *pensively scratches his spiky hair*- I wasn't before, but that sounds good, so I am now!

Shishio- *strikes a ninja pose*

Yami Marik- Bring it on, Smokey! (The two get in a typical anime, dust cloud scuffle) (The Evil Four whistle innocently)

*Voldemort walks by, greeting only Emma*

Emma (at seeing Yami Bakura's face)- *shrugs* He's an old boyfriend.

*Yami Bakura eyes Voldemort murderously*

Emma- But don't worry anata; he wasn't evil enough for me. Besides, his cloak thing he wears is kinda a turnoff. . . I could never see his eyes under his hood . . .*Stephanie nods, but stops as a new member approaches*

New member- (to Yami Bakura) You look familiar. . .have I seen you in the Big House?

Yami Bakura *probes his chin*- It's possible. . .I've met a lot of people there. . .

New member- It's me, 'Bloody Stewie'.

Yami Bakura- Martha Stewert?! Wow, I can't believe it's you! It's been a long time! *Emma eyes Martha with jealous hatred*

Emma- Why are you here? From what I gather, you do not appear to have any trace of evilness coursing through your soon-to-be mangled body.

Martha Stewert- Oh, do not take my appearance lightly. I'm one badddd to the bone gal. I can turn your inner brainal cavity into turkey stuffing faster than you can say, "It's a good thing!"

Marik and Steph- O_o

Martha- Are you interested in my thoroughbred genetically altered wares?

Marik- (with interest) Ooooo, like what?

Martha- I have mutated Pomeranians, poisonous soufflé, and, the one thing I can't seem to sell. . . *holds up a steel reinforced pot, which contains what seems to just be a germinating seed*

Marik- Dear Ibis! It's a Dionaea muscipula!!! *Everyone gives him a confused look* A Venus fly trap!!! How truly repulsive, a curse to all plant kind!

Yami Bakura *voice gains a high pitch*- It's the most adorable thing I have ever laid eyes on!!! *voice goes back to monotone* How much.

Martha- For you, a special deal! This rabid Bongonian species of Venus flytrap and its food, *holds up a container of live mice* for---

*Yami Marik appears out of nowhere in a puff of smoke*

Emma (startled) - How do you do that?!

Yami Marik- Ah, it's just a little trick Naraku taught me. . .*sees mice* Wow, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmy! *Stephanie blushes*

Yami Marik *notices her expression and shakes his head*- Not you, Steph- chan, these delicious, mouth-watering, appetizing, luscious, scrumptious, lip smacking, palatable, enticing, flavorsome, succulent, tasty, delightful little buggers. . .that normal mortals call mi-seeeeeee! *raises the cage of mice to eye level and drools* Now listen up, Stewert Little's rapidly reproducing cousin's children's grandpas, I'm gonna give you a head start. And when I getcha --*insane gleam enters eyes*-- I'm gonna EATCHA! *pounces on the ground with the expertise of a cat, and lowers his head so he's at eye level with the cage*

Yami Marik- Now, my cute little balls of scampering din-din, run for your lives before you get CHEEZITIZED!!! *opens cage and scurries on all fours hastily after the retreating rodents, carelessly knocking over chairs, disgruntled villains, and Martha's three eyed Pomeranian/large-mouth bass.*

Steph *imitating the voice of a PBS narrator*- And so, the slightly deranged predator instinctively sprints with a sudden burst of energy after his hapless prey---

Emma *joins in*- But wait, it seems he has lost the trail. *Yami Marik narrows eyes, sniffing the ground like a barmy bloodhound, then runs off.* And there goes!

*Yami Marik suddenly sniffs rampantly, then howls in the likeness of a howler monkey, and speeds off in the opposite direction of where the mice are fleeing towards*

Steph- What a splendid opportunity, to see this highly evolved predator-- *Yami Marik grunts like a Neanderthal*---reign terror in its natural habitat!

Emma- Indeed my colleague! Jolly good time! It seems he has singled out the weakest in the meece of mice. *Yami Marik is now scuttling sideways (like a crab) after a squeaking speciman. He doesn't notice that he has accumulated a whole horde of cords, as he is near the stage area.*

Steph- He appears to be hindered by the restraints of the thick entanglement of vines---

Emma- Wait, it seems he has decided to make a drastic move! *Yami Marik has seen the terrified vermin making a beeline for the haven under the stage, and roars like a wounded grasshopper*

Steph- He's lunging for it--- But wait! What's this?!? He's paused to lick at a diminishing shallow pool of his preferred food, barbecue sauce! *Yami Marik laps raucously at Kagura's (Inu-Yasha again ^_^) plate, to her utter digust*

Emma- Now that he has finished his appetizer, he moves in for the kill.

Yami Marik leaps in the air in slow motion, but it is suddenly pulled backwards in midair, sparks flying everywhere as he pulls the cords out of the wall. He finally lands in a disgruntled heap on the stage, sparks following him like a speeding rocket. Everyone immediately begins clapping, assuming that it's the opening act for the President.

Yura (ditsily)- Yay! Fireworks!

Emma- Steph, should you try to restrain Yami Marik? *points to the stage, which Yami Marik is now writhing to get under, after his mouse.*

Steph- 'Tis no use. Thou can't stop him once he's singled out his victuals. *gains narrator voice again* Look at this! Another predator threatens to usurp our little friend's position as head of the food chain! *Joey has now arrived, dog costume and all, and is staring curiously at Yami Marik*

Joey- Wha' ya doin' there, psycho Marik?

Yami Marik- Quietly stalking my prey. *growls loudly, scaring the mice*

Joey- Ya mean da littl' white ones I call 'da littl' white ones'?!?

Yami Marik *narrows eyes*- Do you have a liking for these delicacies?

Joey- O ya! New York is full of 'dem!!! Yummmmay!

Yami Marik- I see I have competition. *growls menacingly*

Steph- What's this? It looks as if the first predator is urinating on the mice to mark his territory. When these two predators pursue the same prey, there's just no telling what may happen. The results could be pretty bloody. . .

Emma- And the second predator is not heeding warning. *Joey gnaws on the stage* His saliva is swiftly burning through the dark Eastern Cape cycad wood with its acidic composition. The first predator looks very irritated in his new rivalry and prepares to attack. . .*Yami Marik crouches on the ground, ready to spring forward and ambush the unsuspecting Joey.*

Steph- O no! It looks like the first predator has made a spur-of-the-moment decision! It is going after another mouse! *Yami Marik starts chasing a fatter mouse than before, but Joey sees it and grows jealous* The second predator is also going after the mouse now! Never before has such an event unfolded on the PBS channel! 'Tis such a rare opportunity to see these two competitive creatures compete for fodder!

Emma- Cherrio to that! This is such a fantastic sight. . .I think we'll get lots of donations from our viewers. . .O dear!

Steph- What's wrong my fellow English tea-party partner/librarian?

Emma- I forgot to take the lens cap off the camera. We didn't catch any of the hunt so far.

Steph- What the bloody hell is the matter with thou?!

Emma- Hey, watch your language, you ruddy good-for-nothin-

Steph- Um, I think it's taping now. Thou took off the lens cap, and it's recording now.

Emma- How right you are! *clears voice apologetically* Ahem, well anyway, back to this riveting chase. . .the first predator is pouncing on the mouse, he's in midair, he's---*Joey jumps on Yami Marik's back*--- Oooo, that had to hurt! The second predator has just blocked the attack of the first in a remarkable double-flip triple forty! The first predator looks murderous now.

Steph- All the mice are escaping, but this fact does not seem to bother the two predators, who are now eyeing each other heatedly. Other animals are watching in fascination---*Everyone starts egging on Yami Marik and Joey shouting, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"*--- as the two predatory creatures circle each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Emma- It doesn't seem like they're doing anything. . .

Steph- It looks like. . . they're having a staring contest?!?! *Everyone starts booing in disappointment from not seeing a bloody fight*

Jesse *lights shoot on, and everyone watches Jesse and James, abandoning Yami Marik and Joey as they stare unblinkingly at each other*- Prepare for trouble!

James- And make it double!

Jesse- To protect the world from---

Unknown villain- What the f%^&?!? You want to protect the world?!? What kind of good guy spies are you?!? (fruit, vegetables, and grenades fly up at Team Rocket. Suddenly, a Big Boy rocket flies from offstage, sending Team rocket flying in the air.)

Team Rocket- Looks like we're blasting off aga- *SPLAT!!!* (they hit the ceiling)

Voice from dark stage- Greetings evil cohorts. This is your president. Number 2, turn on the lights. (play Austin Powers music) It is I, *camera zooms up to him, and he puts his pinky up to his mouth* Dr. Evil.

(Everyone applauds, and one person yells, "Go Baldy!")

Dr. Evil- Yes, yes, I like that name, Baldy. Anyway, this year we have achieved an all-time high. We have---*camera zooms again*--- One Million Villains!

Voice from backstage- Uh sir, actually we don't have that many.

Dr. Evil *strokes his cat*- Well, dammit you have to tell me these things people!

Team Rocket- Can you get us down from here? Please?

Dr. Evil- No! You are the semi-potent of evil. You are the Diet Coke. . . of Evil. You are the-*sirens are heard*-- Coppers! Number 2, cryogenically freeze me and my bald kitty, then shoot us into space to escape!

*As all the villains start to scatter, Stephanie and Marik are desperately trying to drag Yami Marik away*

Yami Marik- DIE COPS!! I WILL PULL OUT YOUR EYES AND USE THEM AS BANANAS IN MY CEREAL!!! I WILL POKE MORE HOLES IN YOU WITH MY ROD THEN A PIECE OF SWISS CHEESE!!! I WILL CALL MY MONKEY ARMIES TO SCALE YOUR NOSES AND SINGE YOUR NOSTRIL HAIRS!!! I WILL WAVE MY PRIVATE PARTS AT YOUR AUNTIES!!! I WILL---

Steph- Ok Yami Marik, I think they get the point.

From the Dictionary of Ubiquitous Made-up (D.U.M.) words:

Meece- (noun) 1.) A group of mice 2.) A group of "da littl' white ones" 3.) Burnt raspberry