Episode 12

Bakura's Rescue

----Week 2, Day 5----

Mai- Um. . .so. . .what are we gonna do?

Tea- Well, we have to come up with a good plan to get Bakura out. Any suggestions?

Tristen *eyes narrow repugnantly at Tea*- Oh, and what about Maxarooni? Are we just going to forget about him?! Is he not as important to you as dear Bakura?!

Tea- Uh, him too. *gulps nervously*

Joey- Ah man, now why do we have ta save him?! If ya ask me, I say we should jus' leave 'em both there! Dat way, there's more food for me! Yeah!

Tristen *grabs Joey's collar menacingly*- Joey, we MUST SAVE MAXAROONI!!!!

Yugi- That's enough. We have to work together guys! Come on, we're a team!

Tea- That's right! There's no 'i' in team you know!

Joey- There ain't?

Mai- Oh Joey. . . you can spell carbohydrates in your sleep, but if a word doesn't relate to food, you won't know it. *sigh* If only you were as good as you are with food in be---

Tea- Um, let's change the subject, why don't we?

Duke- Life just isn't the same without my beautiful Bakura! O how I miss those wide innocent eyes, that long flowing iridescent pallid hair, lips so tender and pure. . .I think I'll write a poem!

Mai- If you want some good juicy ideas for your poem, you can read one of my many adult novels, Duke.

Tea- Ahem! The children! *tilts head pointing to Yugi, who is as usual, completely clueless*

Yugi- What's an adult nov---

Tea- Moving on!!!

Meanwhile. . .

Yami Bakura- So, what is this thing exactly?

Marik- I haven't the slightest clue. . .

Steph (exasperatedly)- This is a spy camera. We're going to nestle it in Nestor's hair. The spy camera records whatever it sees, and then the signal comes back to the house. You see, a moving picture, like the ones you see on TV are actually made of tiny, nearly microscopic particles of the three primary colors, but when they assemble into a picture it creates the effect that you're seeing different colors, like green or black, because the particles are mixed together with other colored particles and---

Emma *sigh*- Why don't I explain this to them, Stephanie?

Steph (disappointedly)- O fine. . .

Emma- Okay, you know how Jackass is like a moving picture on TV?

*Yami Bakura and Marik nod comprehensively and smile*

Emma- Well it's like that, but instead of seeing stupid people hurt themselves, we'll see stupider people hurt themselves even more. Understand?

Marik- Sounds like fun!

Yami Bakura- I'll get the popcorn and sugar!

Meanwhile, back in the Yami Bunch living room, Tea and co. are still trying to come up with ideas to get Bakura out of jail. (Tristen- Don't forget Maxarooni!)

Tea- Okay, I have an idea! Why don't we put all our ideas together and come up with our plan! That way, everyone can participate, and no one will be left out! ^_^

Mai- I have a better idea. Why don't we just go there already and do whatever it takes to get them out of jail?

Duke- I agree with Mai. Planning will only delay our time to rescue Bakura, the sun that warms my heart with sensuous pleasure and takes my dreams into an erotic ecstasy of undying dark desire that---

Tea- Erm, now's not the time for poetry. *eye twitches* Innocent children, remember?!

Duke (completely ignoring Tea)- Hey, you're right Mai! Your books really did help! I'll show Bakura my newly found talent of poetry when we liberate him from the chains of bondage that keep him from his heart's longings!

Tristen- Grrrrr! AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT WANTS TO RESCUE MAXAROONI?!?!

Everyone- Um. . .

Tristen *gets all teary-eyed*- Let's go! Pegasus is waiting for us! We need to free him!

Yugi- I'll need some courage to go through with this. . .YU-GI-OH!!!! *morphs into Yami Yugi*

Yami Yugi- You know, that gets really annoying sometimes. . .especially when Yugi's afraid to go near Gummi bears.

Joey- How are we gonna get outta here?

Mai- Follow me. I know a secret way out.

Tristen *looks at her in disbelief*- You know how to get out of this house?

Mai- *shrugs* What? A girl's gotta have a way to get her hair supplies, doesn't she?

Yami Yugi- Hold on! We need someone! Nestor!!!!! Oh, Nestor!!!!! (no answer) Nestor, do you wanna see Pegasus?! *A fur-ball comes flying into the room with remarkable speed*

Tea *sees a camera in Nestor's matted hair*- Um, Yugi? Since when did Nestor grow a third eye?

Yami Yugi- What do you mean? He's always had three eyes!

~*~*~* At the "Female Correction Facility" a.k.a. jail~*~*~*

Outside in the parking lot, Tea and co. are all huddled together, forming a semi-plan.

Mai- Okay everyone. Here's what we're gonna do. I uh, create a distracting diversion. Everyone else charges in there and gets them out of jail. Hut! *Everyone follows Mai anxiously as she casually walks up to the front desk*

Mai- Hey hottie. What's up?

Policeman at front desk- H-hey honey. Um, can I h-help you?

Mai- Oh, well I was just wonderin' if you are free?

Desk policeman- Oh yeah!

Mai- Oh, but. . .I dunno if you're really my type. . .I mean, I really like bad boys, and I'm not too sure you can handle me.

Desk policeman- Heh heh, oh I'm bad all right. . .and I know I can handle you baby. Nothin's too hot to handle for me.

Mai- Ooo, I like a man like you. Let me give you my phone number. Do you have a pen?

Desk policeman *fumbles clumsily with the pen and gives it to Mai*- Here.

Mai *purposely drops the pen on the ground so that the top of her corset is revealed*- Whoops! How clumsy of me!

Tristen *whispers to others*- There's the signal! Let's move in!

Desk policeman *sees the others sneak past*- Hey! You there! What do you think you're doin-

Mai *turns his head quickly away*- Kiss me you fool!

As the others sneak past the desk policeman, five other policemen notice them and start toward them.

Policeman #1- Intruders! Get 'em!!!!

Duke- Back away! *throws two dice at Policeman #1's eyes*

Policeman #1- My eyes! My eyes! They burnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!

Serenity- What's happening? *unknowingly swings her hand into policeman #2, knocking him out*

Tristen- This is for Pegasus! *straps on a bag with strawberry shortcake dolls inside it around policeman # 3's head*

Policeman # 3- The aroma. . .strawberries. . .Me dizzy. . . *collapses in an unconscious heap on the floor*

Policeman # 4- Someone call the police!

Policeman # 5- You idiot! We are the police!!!

Tea- (to policeman # 4) Listen, I don't have to fight you. In fact, I want to be your friend, so that we will share a special bond together and be there for each other always no matter what-

Policeman # 4 *clutches his heart and falls to his knees*- Noooooo! Not the friendship speech! *dies*

Tea- O no. . .not again!!

Yami Yugi- Four down, one to go! *takes one of his many belts and whips policeman # 5's legs out from underneath him*

Policeman #5- You'll never get away with this! *Yami Yugi takes a bottle of his hair gel and starts forcing #5 to swallow it*

Joey (jealously)- Hey, why does he get all da food?!

Yami Yugi- Joey, I intoxicated him with my hair gel. It's not something you want to eat.

Joey- Speak for yaself!

Duke- Hey guys, I think I found Bakura!!! *Everyone curiously peers in the cell only to see a girl resembling an English bulldog with a purple-tipped mohawk*

Tea- Um, doesn't Bakura have more of a silvery white hair?

Duke *probes his chin in idle thought*- Oh yeah!

Tristen- He's not here!!!! *starts crying hysterically*

Serenity- Who? Where are we? What's going on?

Tristen- Pegasus isn't here!!!

Duke- What about Bakura? Did you see him?

Tristen- Yeah. He's three cells over that way. *Everyone sprints over to his cell*

Tea- Bakura! You're safe!

Duke- I've missed you so!

Bakura (nervously)- Duke. . .I didn't think I would ever see you again. . .

Duke- Did you miss me?

Bakura- I'm sorry Duke. I really am. But I've fallen in love while you were away. . .

Duke- Wha? With who? *a weird figure emerges from one of the corners of Bakura's cell*

Yami Yugi- That's Strings! He's one of Marik's eeeeeevil mind slaves! I defeated him a duel!

Bakura- He's my love of my life, but he's not evil anymore. . .at least, I don't think so. He doesn't really talk. He kinda just pantomimes everything, but he needs no words for me to know that he is THE ONE! Besides, his piercings are really awe-inspiring for me.

Tea *right eye twitches*

Duke (crestfallen)- This can't be happening. . .

Tristen- Has this place drove him over the edge?! I thought that was only possible at the Yami house!

Joey- Come on! We don't have much time! Let's get him outta here and fast!

Yami Yugi- Joey, you care about rescuing Bakura?

Joey- Nah. I jus' wanna get home fast! I don't wanna miss dinna! *starts gnawing mercilessly like a savage beast on the steel prison bars until there is a small hole in them*

Tea- I don't think Bakura can fit through that.

Yami Yugi- Don't worry Tea! I'll dissolve these bars in no time! *throws some hair gel onto the bars, which quickly starts eating away at the 100% steel core until there is hardly anything left*

Tea- Yami, are you sure that's safe to use on your hair? *he shrugs*

Bakura- Thanks you guys!

Tristen *ruthlessly grabs the collar of one of the barely conscious policemen*- Where is Maximillion Pegasus, you jerk!

Policeman- P-padded ro-oom. . .

Tristen- You piece of trash! You're lower than dirt! *kicks him in the face so that he's unconscious again*

Tea- Um, was that really necessary? We don't need to make more senseless violence in this world, you know.

Tristen *clenches teeth*- No one takes my Maxarooni and gets away with it. *walks to a white padded room and opens the unlocked door*

Pegasus (mumbling to his sock)- And then we went to the store and bought some bananas and sugar cubes and soccer balls and blueberries! Isn't that exciting Mr. Smelly-Melly?!

Tristen- Pegasus! Look what those horrible people have done to you!

Joey- I dunno. . .He seems the same to me. . . *Tristen shoots a murderous glare*

Tristen- Oh Maximillion! I'll rescue from this awful, awful place!

Pegasus- Oh look Mr. Smelly-Melly! We have visitors!

Tristen (untying Pegasus's straight jacket)- Don't you remember me?

Pegasus *squints his eyes as he tries to recall*- Ummm. . .

Tristen- I'm Tristen. I'm the only one that ever calls you by your nickname, Maxarooni.

Pegasus- Hmmmm. . .nope, can't seem to remember anything about meeting a creature called a Tristen before. . .say, are you a native of Manchuria?

Tristen *sighs patiently*- No, my name is Tristen. *Pegasus looks at him, confused* J

oey- I don't think dat Peggie can 'member back dat far.

Tristen (angrily)- Joey, you don't think, period.

Joey- Yeah but 'member dat Pegasus has da memory span of a goldfish? He can't 'member anythang past three seconds.

Tristen (face turning an angry red)- Well neither can you, Joey!

Yami Yugi- Well yes, but Joey remembers all the food he ate in his entire lifetime. Observe. Joey, what did you have for breakfast on Feburary 17, 1995?

Joey- I had a pizza, some waffles, a snow cone, a pizza, a beanie baby, some chicken, a caramel apple, and whip cream to top it all off! For my drink, there was only water, and dat's healthy, so I jus' drank the liquid out of da pickle jar. *rubs his stomach* Yum-may!

Yami Yugi- See? What did I tell you?

Tristen- Maxarooni just needs to get home. He'll be fine when he gets back. This place has distraught him, and he needs his beloved Funny Bunny cartoons!

Yami Yugi *gets all teary-eyed*- Um, I think Nestor wants to see you P-

Pegasus. . .*starts crying as Nestor gleefully jumps out of his arms to Pegasus*

Pegasus- Nestor! Thank you, Yami Yugi! I've missed him so much!

Tristen (heart-brokenly)- You remember their names, but not m-mine?

Tea- Hurry up everyone! Those policemen might be waking up soon! *Everyone sneaks out of the prison*

Mai (to desk policeman)- I'm sorry, but I really need to go. See you later. *winks* I charge $350.00 for two hours, fifty cents for extra toppings, k?

Yami Yugi *morphs into little Yugi*- What's Mai talking about, Tea?

Tea- Ummm. . .*bites her lip nervously*

Tristen- Okay everyone, let's get in the car. I think I saw one of those policemen gaining consciousness again!

Tea- Bakura, what are you waiting for?

Bakura- Um, I think I'll walk from here.

Joey- You crazy or somethin'? It's twenty miles away from da Yami house! *grins* On second thought. . .go ahead! Mo' food for me!

Tea- Well if that's what you want, Bakura. . .Are you sure you're going to be okay?

Bakura- I'll be fine! Don't you guys worry about me!

Yami Yugi- Well, I guess I'll see you later then! I'll save you some food for when you get back! *Joey growls*

~*~*~* 10: 35 p.m., Back at the Yami house~*~*~*

Yami Bakura- I wonder what that little devil child is planning. . .

Marik- Guess we'll have to wait and find out. . .

Steph- That was thoroughly enjoying. *puts on a high voice, imitating Tea* Hey guys, why don't we go around in a circle and tell each our favorite parts! ^_^

Emma (imitating Yugi)- That's a great idea Tea! My favorite part was when we rescued everyone and everyone was happy!

Yami Bakura (imitating Joey)- My favorite part was chewin' on 'dose tasty steel bars! Yum-may! *drools*

Marik (imitating Pegasus)- Oh, but I liked being in that comfy jacket those nice people put on me! Mr. Smelly-Melly liked it too! He said it brings out my eyes! Tee-hee! *blushes* *Front door swings open and Tea and co. arrive in the house*

Joey- Dinna time! *races to the table, followed by everyone else*

Mai- Um, I can't join you guys for dinner. I have some things to do, to get ready.

Yugi- Get ready for what, Mai?

Mai- When you get older than five, I'll tell you Yugi. *winks*

Yugi- I am not five! I'm just a teenager trapped in a five-year's old body, with a five-year-old thought process!

Mai- Uh, right. *knock is heard at the door*

Joey (is already finished with his 5 course dinner)- I'll get it. *opens door to Bakura and another figure behind him*

Bakura- Hello Joey.

Joey- Uh, who's dat behind you?

Bakura *looks away*- Um, this is Strings.

Joey- You brought dat freaky guy with you?!

Bakura- Shhh! I don't want Duke to find ou--- *Duke comes to the door*

Duke (in a dejected squeek)- Oh! So this is how it's gonna be?!!! *runs upstairs crying*

Joey- Now you've done it!

Bakura- I couldn't just leave him, Joey! You wouldn't understand! *Another figure comes up to the door, which turns out to be a policeman from the front desk at the Female Correction Facility*

Desk policeman- Um, is this the residence of Mai Valentine?

TBC