Episode 8

Farewell Kaiba!

Executive producer- Oh gods, what are we gonna do?!

Mokuba- What do you mean?

Executive producer- Ishizu.an ambulance just picked her up, and she's going to the Emergency Care unit in Kaiba Corp.'s hospital, and now I have to find a narrator within five minutes!

Mokuba- My brother has a hospital?!

Executive producer-Yes. Your brother bought it for the time when you had a scrape on your knee. Don't you remember? It was all over the news. Kaiba made it seem like a murder occurred. *rolls his eyes* Anyway, I need a narrator who has all Ishizu's lines memorized already...

Mokuba- What about me? (hopeful puppy-dog eyes) I know I can do it. Please gimme the chance! Um..what happened to Ishizu anyway? *eyes narrow suspiciously*

Executive producer- Wha? Well, I guess you could fill in, but I don't think it is for children's ears to hear what happened to Ishizu. It might influence you or something.. (Mokuba gives him an annoyed look saying, "You want my brother to take your job away?")

Executive producer (nervous laughter)- Heh heh, well let's just say she got a little too much alcohol..that's all. *gulps uneasily*

Mokuba *eyes widen curiously*- Where'd she get alcohol? I must take it away immediately!

Executive producer- Back cabinet in the electrical room..Oops! Wasn't supposed to tell you that! Nooo! Come back here Mokuba!

Mokuba runs off toward the electrical room in hopes of getting his hands on a beer. It had been his life-long dream, and now he was going to achieve it! He hastily opens the cabinet drawer and quickly takes several swigs until the producer tears the nearly empty can away from him.

Executive producer- Oh no! Kaiba's gonna kill me now! I got his brother drunk! Ah, well maybe he isn't affected at all. Yes, yes. I'm sure the audience won't notice. Yeah. (Gestures Mokuba to get up, and start introducing the show.)

Mokuba- Hello everyone! Nice to meet me. Whooo! Got too much beh-rrrr there, but don' worry 'bout me, George! (nearly faints) In local news, the Yami Bunch is next so watch Scooby and the gang fight oboes in this week's fart art! (Executive producer looks over the script shaking his head with disbelief, but Mokuba continues on with his drunken gibberish)

Mokuba- Whoa! *Loses balance and falls off the counter he was sitting behind* Whoops-a-daisy! My imaginary friend pushed me off the Chinese wall. Yeah, ha! Yes you did! (starts talking to the corner of the studio and arguing with his imaginary friend) Yes, I saw you do it! Yes I did! Don't you backtalk me missy! Do you wanna go to time-out?! (Executive producer yells, "Cut!!!!" and picks up the drunken Mokuba)

Week 2, Day 1, 6:34 p.m.

Tea is cooking dinner for everyone, while Duke is watching Bakura lovingly. She shrivels up her nose in disgust as Duke blows a kiss toward him.

Yami Bakura- Oh no, we're not having Mexican tortillas again, are we?

Yami Yugi- What's wrong with having my native food, Yami Bakura?

Mai- Uh, not that I care, but I thought you said you were Irish.

Yami Yugi- I'm 2% Irish. That's where I get the red streak in my hair. (Pauses to apply more hair gel to his untamed mane, which was unfortunately no longer pink) I'm also .23% Mexican, 4% YugoSlovakian, 1.25% Greek, 3.4% Polish, 5% American, 6% Japanese, 8% Eritrean, 3% Maltan, 4.5 % Papua New Guinean, 10% Quatrian, 15% Egyptian, and 32.62% unknown. (awkward silence)

Kaiba- Tess, we're outta here. These people are losers with too much time on their hands!

Tess- Kaiba! I told you to at least give them a chance! Besides I'd rather have too much time on my hands than not enough. Hmph! *frowns and crosses arms irritably*

Kaiba- Fine! But if any physical or emotional damage is done to me, then we're leaving!

Pegasus- Can I put some macaroni in my tortilla? Nestor says he wants some too!

Tristen- Oh, allow me to serve your dinner Maxarooni! (Snickers are heard room all around the table)

Joey *enters sleepily*- Hey! Food! I can't wait!

Bakura- Have you been asleep all day, Joey?

Joey- Um, yeah, I guess so. *shrugs* Will ya hurry up already Tea?! I'm starvin' here! *Tea shoots him a glare*

Pegasus (pouting)- Emma, I'm still very angry with you. You said they had episode # 5,433 when they did not! You lied to me!

Emma- I thought they did. (Tries to hide her anger that the plan to kill Nestor failed miserably)

Tea- All right, everyone, sit down at your assigned seats so that we may enjoy a nice family dinner together.

Yami Bakura- Who scheduled the dinner entertainment? *smiles as Mai starts dancing revealingly on the table*

Tea- Oh my, Mai! Get off that table right this instance!!! That's against the rules!

Bakura- Hey, that looks like fun! Let me try too! *Gets up on the table with Mai, much to Tea's annoyance*

Duke suddenly looks at Bakura with excitement. He watches him dance in awe, and then shouts out loud.

Duke- You look sooooooo hot Bakura! (In a daze)

Duke walks up to Bakura and starts dancing with him, pushing Mai off the table.

Pegasus- Oh this is so much fun to watch! You know, this reminds me of the time Roger Rabbit pushed that silly cartoon kangaroo off the lily pad. Oh that silly rabbit! *laughs insanely*

Yami Bakura- Come on Emma, let's go see what Marik and Stephanie are doing upstairs. If we don't leave soon, I think I'm gonna strangle them all.

Emma- I can understand. You're still angry that our plan failed, aren't you? And I don't think Duke and Bakura are helping much either. Being around gay people for too long may corrupt your mind into doing things for that Rainbow god that they worship. *Yami Bakura shudders*

Yami Bakura- Ugh! Don't even say things like that! I'll have nightmares!

Meanwhile back down in the kitchen, Bakura and Duke are whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, while at the same time, sharing hair care tips with Mai. Tea and Yami Yugi are patching up everything with apologies, tears, and a few hugs (sickening, isn't it?). Tristen is trying to talk to Pegasus, but he's too busy hand-feeding macaroni to Nestor. Kaiba is not touching his meal, complaining to Tess that this house is too crazy for an adequate work environment.

Tess- Oh come on, Kaiba. It's not that bad. Eat, papa, eat! You need your energy to work late tonight, remember?

Kaiba- Fine. I'll eat right after I wash my hands. Make sure none of these insane inhabitants dares to touch my food, okay? I don't want it contaminated. *Looks mistrustfully at Pegasus who is introducing his sock puppet, Mr. Smelly-Melly, to Nestor*

Tess nods, and Kaiba goes off into the bathroom. A moment later a scream is heard from the bathroom. Kaiba comes running out covering his face in shame. The four evil couples come out of their rooms infuriated that Kaiba had screamed. They run down the stairs into the kitchen to see what had caused such a ruckus.

Marik- Art thou injured? (hopeful look in his eyes)

Tess (patting the crying Kaiba consolingly)- We don't know yet. He won't stop crying.

Steph- Oh, for the sake of Slifer! Kaiba, just tell us what happened!

Kaiba *moves hands from face to reveal red bumps all over him*- I used the clear soap in the bathroom, and now I have hives all over me! This is terrible! Everyone at work is going to laugh at me, like I'm an idiot or something! It would be like the time I put whiteout on my computer screen and everyone laughed at me, because I never heard of the delete button before!!! (Emma and Yami Bakura roll their eyes unsympathetically)

Yami Yugi- Hey, wait a minute! (fifteen minutes later..).That's my hair gel you used!

Kaiba (Face contorts into a look of intense rage)- THAT'S IT! YOU PEOPLE ARE BARMY! YOU SHOULD BE CONFINED, ALL OF YOU! TESS, WE'RE LEAVING! *Takes Tess by the arm and swiftly walks out the door*

Yami Yugi- He better not have taken too much! That's expensive imported hair gel!

Mai- I'm feel sorry for you Yami Yugi. I mean I know I would be heartbroken if someone used my Harpy Hairspray.

Bakura- No way! You use that too?!

Duke- I use that on my hair also!

Bakura (feels Duke's hair)- Yes, and I must say, it makes your hair gorgeous darling!

Duke- And yours too, Bakura baby!

Marik- I donst think I can stay here much longer. I'm becoming sickened by all this. (nauseous expression)

Emma- I think that killing Nestor won't be one of our first priorities now. We must focus instead on separating them all from each other or making them hate.

Steph- It would be easier if they art separated. I donst think they art capable of anger or hatred for long periods of time.

Yami Bakura- We better get started on the planning before we turn to mush or start loving Nestor. *Shudders again* Let's go to the secret basement.

Mokuba jealously frowns as Bakura and Duke stare into each other's eyes with passion. He takes another swig and says, "Now I know why Ishizu got drunk doing this. She doesn't wanna remember things that will scar her forever!"