Episode 6

Sayonara, Beloved Weapons of....

Ishizu- Huh? We're up in the air? Wha? No thank you, I prefer Miller's Lite to Coors..the taste is much mo' refin'd.Heh heh (swings drunkenly and collapses on the floor)

Cameraman (whispering angrily)- Ishizu, what are you talking about?! We're live on the air! Get up and start talking! Oh, never mind! CUT!!!!

Ishizu- Whatever. Go piss on yourself. No one watches this stupid show anyway. Oh! (Clasps hands to mouth) I don't feel so good! (Goes toward the cameraman who is trying to franticly distance himself from her. Of course, everyone knows that there's no escaping Ishizu's projectile vomit!) (After puking her beers all over him, Ishizu faints)

Ishizu *opens eyes and looks around from the floor and points to the cameraman*- Hey, you guy..what happened to your pants? Did you throw up on them or somethin'?

Cameraman *face flushes red with fury*- That's it! I quit! I can't take it anymore! The beers, the idiots living in the house, Ishizu not listening to me! YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!!!

He leaves the room, while Ishizu tries to recognize where she is and who she is for that matter. A figure from the dark appears and steps into the light so that Ishizu can see them. It's Mokuba.

Mokuba- I'll take his place! I'm really good at filling in a job at the last minute. My big brother always leaves me in charge of jobs he doesn't have time for. It's really fun being his slave! I won't let you down! I pinky-promise!

Ishizu- Whatever. You got the job. You can work a camera, right?

Mokuba- Uh, sure! *picks up camcorder and starts recording. Finally!*

Ishizu- Welcome to another exciting episode of the Yami Bunch! Um, ahem! (Realizes that Mokuba has the camcorder way below her neckline and gestures him to move up. He tries to move it up, but is too short. Ishizu decides it is best to go on anyway, although she is getting quite annoyed that it isn't her face that he's filming.) Last time on the Yami Bunch, our feuding couples got themselves a few black eyes and fought to obtain ownership of the only TV located in the house. Could this perhaps be the episode they all get along in? Doubtful, but it may be the one where the hated Nestor is finally killed! Again, that's doubtful, but never know what's going to happen in this spontaneous reality show, so don't change the channel! This episode is rated PG-13 for course language and fag advertising for children. Your favorite show will appear right after our sponsors!

Sponsors- Solomon Moto walks along the sidewalk and sees an old woman in a tight red dress cut way too short, similar to Mai's skirt. He walks up to her, putting his arm around her, "Hey, baby!" She replies in a wheezing raspy voice, "Want a *cough* fag?" He grins and says, "Sure! I'd love to! Wow! Is that what I think it is?!" She pulls out a box of cigarettes and nods. "Yep! Sure is! These are the best-tasting cigarettes ever! (pauses to catch her breath) They're HappyLover Smokes!" He takes it and starts smoking it, then points to the audience and smiles, "Smoke em' with your lovers, smoke 'em with your kids! Happy Lover Smokes! Now available to kids under the age of 18! No fake ID necessary!"

Week 1, Day 6, 12:30 p.m.

Tea spots Marik, Yami Bakura, Stephanie, and Emma trying to sneak out with a blue print out the back door.

Tea- What do you think you're doing?

Steph- We art doing nothing. Aren't thou supposed to be making up that rule list right now anyway?

Tea- Nothing, eh? Well, why do you look so suspicious and have a blue print in your hands then?

Emma *smirks*- Okay, we didn't want to tell you, but we're going on a double date. And this isn't a blue print. It's a map to the nearest fancy restaurant. Happy?

Tea- Ohhhhh Yami Yugi! We used to go on double dates with Joey and Mai, remember? *starts her usual anguishing sobs*

Yami Yugi- I wish not to remember memories that do not include my beloved Nestor.

Tea (angered look)- You know what Yami?! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of you! All you do is cry over something that will never love you again, and ignore me completely!!!

Yami Yugi- It seems to me that you are also crying over something that will never love you again..me.

Tea- Ha! As if! I'm not going to weep for you any longer! I'm gonna get me a new boyfriend, who won't leave me ever! *stomps off, while Yami Yugi shrugs carelessly*

Marik, Yami Bakura, Steph, and Emma sneak out the back door, over the back fence, and drive to the nearest gun store, planning Nestor's termination.

Store owner- Hey! Where ya guys been lately? You're my best customers and yet I haven't seen you in over days now! I was getting worried.

Marik- Thou had right to. We art stuck in a Mental Institute with a bunch of imbeciles. This is the only time we couldst get out of the house without anyone noticing.

Store owner- Let me guess.You're planning a death of one of these imbeciles? *chuckles*

Yami Bakura- How did you guess?! (laughing)

Store owner *shrugs*- I'm just lucky, ha ha ha. Follow me to the secret room where only you are allowed in. It will be quieter for you guys to make an evil plot there. Refreshments are on the table back there too, in case you guys got hungry or somethin'.

Steph- Many thanks. *Everyone follows store owner to back room.*

Emma gently lays out the blue print, which she claimed was a map to Tea and starts drawing plans out on it.

Yami Bakura- No, no that won't work. We have to get Yami Yugi's attention away from Nestor. There has to be a foolproof plan where Yami Yugi can't get to Nestor while we assassinate it.

Bakura- Oooo, a secret plot to kill Nestor! You're in trouble now!

Yami Bakura- Wha?! How did you get in here?!

Bakura- I followed you. Duh! What do you say I give my Yami a big huggy- wuggy?! *starts toward Yami Bakura*

Yami Bakura- Stay back you slimy love-ball! Back, I say! *Starts praying to Obelisk the Tormentor to have mercy on him and not allow Bakura to hug him*

Bakura- I'm tellin' on you, Yami Bakura! And you can't catch me! Na-na-na- na-na! *sticks out tongue.*

Yami Bakura- I don't need to catch you. For all have to do is send you back to the soul room. *Bakura stops dead in his tracks.* If you tell, your life will be in solitude, imprisoned in this nifty ring of mine! *Yami Bakura starts laughing evilly*

Bakura- You.you wouldn't! *gulps nervously* Oh please not again! Obelisk, don't let him!

Yami Bakura- Silence fool. Stay hushed until our plan is completed. One word and---(fingers his millennium ring with delight) you know what will become of you. *Bakura nods frightfully*

Marik- As I was going to say before I was interrupted, *glares at Bakura* we must also keep in mind that Pegasus is with Nestor. We canst allow him to be in the same room either when the deed is done.

Steph- Plus we must be sure that neither of them art nearby when we dispose of the body..

Emma- Dispose of the body?! Why go through the trouble? They'll know it's us anyway! Hiding the bloody fluff-ball won't matter.

Yami Bakura- Not necessarily, love. Yami Yugi and Pegasus may think that is Tea taking revenge. If Tea took revenge on him, she would want Yami Yugi to find it hidden somewhere, dead and rotting, maggots crawling through its skin, devouring the dying creature slowly.

Emma- Very true. I hadn't considered their stupidity of thinking it was Tea.

Marik (grinning sinisterly)- I think I may have an idea. *whispers to all of them and they nod eagerly*

The four buy a few guns from the store owner and make their way home, Bakura behind them in fearful silence. Meanwhile, at the Yami Bunch house, everyone is not getting along. Tea has thought of a way to get her own revenge on Yami Yugi. She's calling someone who wouldn't turn down any girl.

Tea- Hello, Duke?

Duke- Hi Tea. What's up baby?

Tea- I was wondering if you would go out with me? (the words come out hastily)

Duke- Are you serious?! Of course I will! What time do you want me to pick you up?

Tea- Well I know this is kinda weird, but I was wondering if you could stay at my house with me. You see, I'm on the TV show and we're not supposed to leave the house for a year, and I---

Duke- Say no more. I don't need excuses. I would never turn down an invitation to sleep over a girl's house. I'll be there in five minutes. (With that he hung up the phone. Tea was amazed at how easy that was.)

Tristen (reading Wall street newspaper)- What?! I lost $1500 bucks in my Cabbage Patch doll stocks! This is ridiculous! Everyone loves Cabbage Patch dolls! Why are their sales going down?! Holy Ra, I'm broke. (Ishizu adds the sound wa, wa, waaaa after Tristen's comment)

Joey *yawns*- Man, am I tired! I hardly got any sleep last night! Is it breakfast time yet?

Tristen *looks up from his newspaper*- Joey, it's 2:15 p.m. You went to bed at 8 last night. You got eighteen hours of sleep!!!!

Mai *enters*- Don't worry. It's summer, meaning it's time for Joey to go into hibernation. Does my hair look okay, Tristen?

Tristen- I guess if you compared it to Yami Yugi's neon pink hair, it would look slightly better. (snickering)

Mai- Wha?! Oh my gods! Does it really look that bad?! *rushes out to re- fix her hair*

Joey- Where in blazes, is all da ice cream?! I'm starvin'! And who's at da door?

Tristen- Pegasus, please get the door. I would be very gracious if you did so. *blushes*

Pegasus *grumbles*- I would prefer you to call me Maxarooni. Hpmh! *opens door to see the evil couples there*

Tristen *looks up*- How'd you guys get outside?! The doors are supposed to be locked so no one can get out!!! Bakura? You weren't doing anything with these guys, were you?

Yami Bakura- Chill out. Ishizu just wanted to talk to us about raising our salary for doing this show. That's all.

Joey- Does a higher salary mean more food too?

Emma- Yes.

Joey (pouting)- I want more food!!!!! *suddenly falls asleep and slumps to the floor*

Steph- Is that his hibernation mode or his epileptic seizures again?

Yami Bakura- Is there really a difference?

Pegasus- Hey, I want some macaroni!

Tristen- I'll be only happy to serve you Pega-I mean Maxarooni! Is there anything else you desire? *raises eyebrows hopefully*

Pegasus- Pop in episode # 2,344 of Funny Bunny. But just to warn you, the DVD's aren't in order. *laughs insanely*

Tristen- No problem, Maxarooni. I'll do whatever you ask me to. *smiles affectionately*

Marik nudges Stephanie and whispers, "Let's get outta here before I become any sicker. I donst think I can handle this." Stephanie nods and is just about to sneak off when the door is opened by Duke, with his usual cockiness. He habitually smoothes out his hair, when he notices Tea walking down the stairs to greet him, Yami Yugi right behind her to see what the commotion is about.

Duke *grabs Tea and kisses her*- Hey cutie-tutie! What's happenin'?

Tea (not minding the nickname at all)- Nothin' much, honey-bunny. (she wasn't exactly good at being cool, but at least she tried)

Yami Yugi- Get your f^$%ing hands off her! (Everyone in the room gasps. No one had ever heard Yami Yugi swear like that.)

Tea- I thought you said you didn't love me any more...why do you care so much?

Yami Yugi- I..I don't..I don't care! I was only kidding. Yeah, just kidding. (He could feel sadness seep into his weak heart)

Tea- Oh, well okay then. We'll be in the other room. *leaves with Duke, who is pinching her butt*

Steph- Come on Yami Yugi, let's go for a walk. I have some advice for thou. (Beckons Yami Yugi to go outside with her. He does.)

Emma- Hey Pegasus! Have you heard of the new episode of Funny Bunny that just came out?! It's in stores right now!

Pegasus- What?! You mean the much anticipated episode # 5,433?!

Emma- Uh, yeah! Come on, let's go get it!

Pegasus- Race ya there! *sprints off happily*

Marik and Yami Bakura smirk at each other. They had gotten both of Nestor's lovers out of the way. Now, all there was left to do was to execute the fluff ball. They go upstairs and look around the hall to make sure no one is watching them. Then Marik bends down and levels his eye with one of the ancient golden cat's eyes. The golden cat eye scans his iris and says, "Access Granted." Then the statue begins to shift sideways until there is a deep gaping hole in the floor. Marik and Yami Bakura jump down into the hole, which is really a slide, and land in the secret basement.

Marik and Yami Bakura say together- What the f*^% happened to our weapons?!

Yami Bakura- Nooooo! All of my weapons of mass destruction...gone! *sinks to knees*

Suddenly Ishizu's voice bellows out from the hidden speakers. "I have taken your weapons temporarily. You will get them back when the show is over. I will not allow my brother and you other villains to butcher Nestor. You will have to find another way to eradicate him, for I will not allow the use of weapons in this household.

Marik- Sister! Have thou no kindness in thy heart?! Thou have taken our privilege to send people to the Shadow Realm, and now thou have taken our weapons as well!

Ishizu- It 'tis a shame you must use manmade weapons and ways of cowardice to achieve your evil plots.

Marik *snarls*- We need them not! Thou willst see the terror we willst reign with nothing but malice and physical strength!!!

Yami Bakura- You will be sorry you took our weapons away Ishizu! For now Nestor will only die a more agonizing death than before!