Episode Two

Tea's Spoiled Breakfast

...The Yami Bunch! Doo-doo-doo-doo! The Yami Bunch! Doo-doo-doo-doo! That's the way we became the Yami Bunch!

Ishizu Ishtar: Last time on the Yami Bunch, we were introduced to five different couples moving into one house! Tea and Yami Yugi seemed to be right at home, bringing their warmth and loving nature into the home. Mai and her husband, Joey, seemed to annoy everyone just as soon as they started to talk. And I'm not too sure Joey's cooking skills went over well with the others either. Marik, and his wife, Stephanie, didn't seemed too pleased with the environment they were thrown into. I'm not sure that they can really relate to Tea and the bunch, but they handled the situation much better than Emma and Yami Bakura did, who almost managed to send Joey to the Shadow Realm as an offering to the Egyptian gods. (Inside her head Ishizu thinks, 'It's a shame they didn't kill him off! He's deserves to be sent there. We need to ration our world food anyway. With Joey on the show, all the food on the Yami Bunch that was meant to last for a year will be gone within a day!')

Ishizu (continues after a small breath of boredom)- Tess and Seto Kaiba have not yet premiered on the show, since he was busy at Kaiba Corporation and couldn't make the show, but I assure you that you will glimpse him on today's episode, so all of you adoring fans don't have to worry! This show is rated PG-13 for course language and mild sexual references. Please use wise judgment, and know that this program may not be for children under 13. Now, let's see if the couples can cope with their differences this time on the "Yami Bunch" right after this short break! (Ishizu puts on a false smile until she's off the air, then goes straight to the bar down the street to get drunk so she can effectively edit the show afterwards.)

Scene opens up in the hallway of the upstairs in the early morning. Stephanie sees her boyfriend, Marik, and starts off a conversation with him as they make their way downstairs for a "Get-to-know-each-other-better breakfast" suggested by Tea (of course).

Week 1, Day 2, 8:47 a.m.

Steph- Marik, have thou seen one of my decks? It 'tis missing, and I haven't the slightest idea of where it couldst be.

Marik- I'm sorry mi'dear, but I haven't seen it with thine own eyes. Art thou sure thou looked everywhere for it?

Steph- Yes, quite sure. I do hope I find it soon. Notify the others if thou get the chance.

Stephanie and Marik enter the kitchen to discover that everyone has annoyed look on their faces except for Yami Yugi and Tea.

Tea- So happy you two could make it! Please, pull up a chair, and join our riveting conversation!

Marik glares intently at her, while Yami Bakura rolls his eyes exasperatedly crossing his arms in simple indifference.

Yami Yugi- Ah, so where were we, honey buns?

Tea- Well, we were just about to talk about our favorite things to do! Now, let's go around in a circle and tell each other our favorite things to do! Oh, this will be so interesting learning about each other! Let's start off with Marik and Stephanie since they just joined our "table of friends."

Steph- I enjoy imprisoning innocent people's minds with the millennium rod, then using their soulless bodies for sinister purposes or sacrifices to the gods. *smirks upon seeing Tea's silent response of uneasiness*

Yami Bakura (jokingly)- All right Stephanie! Whoop-whoop! Score one for da evil side!

Tea immediately gives Yami Bakura and Emma a stern look to silence them, as they smirk back at her and stifle laughter. It was always like Yami Bakura to make jokes just to annoy or make others angry. Emma would sometimes join in on his jokes too when she wanted to get revenge. Marik and Stephanie smile at his wittiness, but Yami Yugi stands up for Tea..as usual.

Yami Yugi- There will be no sacrificing or using people for evil of any sort around here! And there will be no jokes to support any kind of evilness either, Yami Bakura and Emma!

Tea- That's right! Which reminds me! We need to make a list of household rules to discipline harsh behavior.

Marik- Insolent Tea. You're going to take away Stephanie's favorite thing to do, and Yami Bakura's comic relief? I thought thou wished for an environment full of happiness? How art Stephanie and Yami Bakura supposed to be happy if their most enjoyed moments art stolen from them? *Marik curves his lips in mockery*

Tea- Stop this! You will not be able to do anything or support anything evil in this household, and that's final! Besides, I'm sure Stephanie, Yami Bakura, and Emma can find some other hobby that is less malevolent! They don't need evilness in their lives to let them be happy!

Emma- I doubt it. Nothing is more rewarding than sending someone to the Shadow Realm.

Marik- Does this mean I can still take over the world, because thou did not mention that I had to change my hobby!

Tea- Ohhh Yami! This is not going like I planned it to! I wanted to have the perfect happy breakfast, and nothing is going right! (Begins to weep on Yami Yugi's lap)

Everyone ignores Tea's crying to look up at the opened door to see who had entered. It is Kaiba and Tess.

Kaiba- Did I miss anything? I tried to come here as fast as I co---

Tess- You did no such thing! I was the one who persuaded you to get your glued eyes off that computer screen! You would have never even set foot in this house if I hadn't ordered you to!

Kaiba *swallows nervously*- Ah, well yes. So..anyway, are you guys having breakfast now? I'm starving!

Emma *sneers*- Nope. Just finished it.

Kaiba- Oh. Really? I always seem to miss the most important meals of the day---

Tess- And everything else that's in the outside world!

Kaiba *ignores Tess's comment*- Um, why is Tea crying?

Marik- Food poisoning. She'll die within twenty-four hours.

Tristen- Yeah. Joey cooked the meal!

Joey- Wha?! I'm gonna pound ya for dat! Hey! You come back here! Why you little---(Joey grabs Mai's hand so that they can run after Tristen together in circles around the kitchen table. Weee!)

Steph- Round and round the three idiots go, where they stop? Nobody knows!

Mai- Joey! This is gonna mess up my beautiful hair! Stop! Oh no! Please! My hair, Joey! MY HAIR!!!!

Suddenly Nestor pops up onto the table. Yami Yugi pets him affectionately and nuzzles him on the head. Tea frowns jealously. Stephanie smiles, but that smile is abruptly halted when she spots something in drooly Nestor's mouth. She ruthlessly grabs the scruff of what would be Nestor's neck if he had one. He (or she...who knows for sure?) squeaks in agony as she pulls him toward her, and Yami Yugi stands up in pure terror, not noticing Tea fall from his lap to the ground and get trampled by Tristen, Joey and Mai. Kaiba looks quickly at his watch, then at Tess, and upon seeing her freaked out expression, he nudges her to leave. They slip out the front door, unnoticed.

Stephanie reluctantly reach inside Nestor's mouth and pulls out a ripped piece of paper, which turns out to be one of the cards in her missing deck.

Steph- F&%* thou Nestor! My deck! Yami, thou F#$*ing idiot! Thy stupid Karibo ate my deck, Yami Yugi! He has to go! Die, thou filthy son of a Karibo! (Throws Nestor hard at Yami Yugi, but he ducks, and it ends up landing in Mai's hair.)

Mai- Ahhhhh! My hair! Ewww! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! My hair! Get this thing outta my hair! Ahhh! Joeeeeey! Help me! Call 911!

Yami Yugi *stutters apologetically*- I didn't mean to..I mean..oh come on Steph! It was hungry! I needed to feed it something!

Yami Bakura- Well the gods are awfully hungry as well. We have to feed them something. How about you, Yami Yugi? What do you think Marik, should we feed Yami Yugi to the gods?

Marik- Oh no. I donst think the gods are hungry..yet. Oh, but I do think that the little Nestor looks famished! What's that? *Marik bends down to where Nestor might have had an ear and acts as if Nestor is saying something to him.* Nestor says he wants to eat Yami Yugi's deck! Can thou imagine such a thing?!

Emma *grins*- I'll do the honors of providing this very special meal! (leaves room and goes upstairs)

Yami Yugi transforms back into little Yugi and says- What?! Please, no! You can't destroy my deck! That is what bonds Yami and I together. That is the only reason he even goes near me! If my deck is gone, then Yami will take over my body like Yami Bakura did, and I'll lose my height!

Tristen (overhears what Yugi said)- And not all you'll lose Yugi! I'd say about 10 inches?

Yugi, infuriated by this comment begins to join the orbiting path around the table, chasing after Tristen. He calls out- Tristen! You better not stop running or else I'll---

Tristen- You'll do what Yugi? You'll duel me?! Oh no! Everyone run! Yugi's gonna duel me!

Yugi- Why are you pickin' on me so much?! I hate when people pick on me! You big, uhhh, bully! (Runs faster after Tristen, or as fast as his wittle legs will take him!)

Meanwhile...Ishizu comes back and enters the editing room. She turns on the spy cams and sees Tea crying on the ground depressingly, Joey and Yugi sprinting after Tristen in a continuous loop around the kitchen, Yami Bakura, Marik and Steph working together to try to stuff one of Nestor's legs in the sink grinder, Mai trying to fix her gnarled hair and at the same time run after Joey, and Emma joyfully tearing up Yami Yugi's cards and filtering them into Nestor's food bowl. Ishizu sighs. "This is exactly why I get drunk when I do this."