Title: The Yami Bunch Author: Darkegyptiansouls Rating: PG-13 Pairing(s): ? Spoilers: N/A ( I think) Disclaimer: See Below Summary: Five completely different couples together for one
year in one house! Will they survive with only minor mental scars, or
will they emerge completely mad! Stephanie- Hi, I'm one of the writers and characters in this fanfic. I write all the even chapters, and I play the beloved girlfriend of Marik (Don't be jealous, you never had a chance with him anyway). Also, just to warn you, Marik and I talk kinda funny in this story. Don't ask me why, but I wanted to talk in old English. Here's a sample of some lingo, so you'll know what we are talking' about. art= are hither= here thou= you thither= there thy= your Anyway, for the disclaimer: I don't own Yugi and co., although I do own them as mind slaves who do my biddings around the house, such as giving themselves a "swirly" as punishment for being nice. I also don't own Kazuki Takashi, but I do own one of his socks if that counts for anything. Don't ask how I got it. ^_^ Oh and the first chapter's kinda boring, but do not worry my friends, I assure you it will only get better! Anyway, we also have a website: www.thedarklair.4t.com . Visit it now or you will suffer an excruciatingly painful and slow death in the Shadow Realm, as it gradually destroys your sanity and mind altogether. Have a nice day! Emma- Hi Everyone! As Steph said (grrrrr she got to go first), I am the other writer of the Yami Bunch, and I also play a character. I write all the odd numbered chapters, so if you have a comment about my chapters, feel free to email me. This is only my first fic., so BE NICE! (Yami Bakura- Or else!) In the story (and in real life lol), I am Yami Bakura's girlfriend (O I love him so!) *glomps Yami Bakura* and a die hard Joey and Tea hater (O I hate them so!) *hits them both with a club*. Sorry all you fans, but I get really irritated with them. Oh and my little sis Tess insisted on being in this, to profess her love for Kaiba, so she's included as well. O right, for the disclaimer. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any of their employees. And I don't own any of the Yu-Gi-Oh characters, except me, which is basically self- explanatory. But maybe. . . One day. . . (heaves a huge jar of pennies into a fountain, knocking over several small children in the process). . .I can only dream. . . Intro and Episode 1 Nestor From FOX, the same people who brought you Paradise Hotel, comes the new hit series... Presenting, The Yami Bunch! (cheesy theme of the Brady Bunch plays in the background with Yami Bunch dubbed over the real words) Here's a story, of a network named Fox, Who always had new ideas for a show, They dreamed up a new reality TV series, And they used all the people from Yu-Gi-Oh! And now they're stuck inside a house for a whole year! And they know that it is much more than a hunch! Doo doo doo doo! They will be going insane very so-oon! But that's only 'cause they're on the Yami Bunch! The Yami Bunch! Doo doo doo! The Yami Bunch! Doo doo doo! That's the way they became the Yami Bunch! Narrator: We're going to put 6 completely different couples together for one year in one house! Will they survive with only minor mental scars, or will they all emerge gone completely mad?!? Find out on this season of. . . The Yami Bunch! And here's your host, or should I say hostess, the beautiful Ishizu Ishtar! Ishizu- Hello and welcome to this episode of the Yami Bunch! In this episode, we will meet our couples and see one day of their new lives! Lets meet the couples! Couple # 1 says they are both just 2 sweet and stupidly trusting, meet Yami Yugi and Tea!!! Yugi- Um... hello... TRUST IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS!!!! YAAAAAAA!!!!! Tea- Um, that was un-expected. . . let me do what I always do in response to anything Yugi does, "You can do it Yugi! Beliiiiiiiiieeeve in yourself!" Ishizu- Okaaaayyyyy, let's meet our 2nd couple, they say " 'Tis fate that brought them together to wreak havoc on the world as we know it." Meet Marik and Stephanie!!! Marik- Meet thy future ruler of the world, for when I possess the Pharaoh's power I will have more power than thou can ever imagine-- (Stephanie interrupts) Stephanie- And once he gets it, there will be so much pain and anguish for all you virtuous people out thither that you'll wish thou were never born!!!! Prepare for the worst, righteous and moral nitwits! Ishizu- Yaya, heard it a million times before, Marik and Stephanie. *Marik and Steph scowl* Let's move on to Couple # 3. They say two words describe them are, "Stupid Blondes!" Meet, Joey and Mai! Joey- Heya, all my adorin' fans!!! I LOOVVVVVVVVVVVE FOOD! Ahahahahahahahhahaha!!!! (demented New York laugh) Mai- I'm beautiful right? I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL RIGHT?!?!? *panicking, looks into mirror* Yep, I'm stiiiiiiiiiillllll beautiful!! Ishizu- Yes, yes, Mai (aggravated), kudos on that. Now let's meet couple #4. They say their motto is, "If they annoy you, just suck out their souls and laugh at their expense." Meet Yami Bakura and Emma! Yami Bakura- (monotone) How much are we getting paid for this again? Emma- Enough to buy many weapons of mass destruction, remember that. Ishizu- Alrighty then, on to Couple # 5. They say, "Be rich, live happy." Meet Tess and Kaiba! Kaiba (with a mad gleam in his eyes)- Kaiba Corp. will out earn you McDonalds! We will!!! Tess- Sorry all, but Kaiba's a little bit paranoid today. Kaiba Corp. is in a neck and neck race with the Yellow Arches---(is interrupted by a tearing sound as Kaiba rabidly rips the head off a Ronald McDonald doll with his teeth), *sigh* --to see who can earn more money. Ishizu- And last but not least is couple #6. Their favorite motto is, "You don't need eyes to see that Joey's an idio-I mean, the best brother and friend in the world." Meet Tristen and Serenity! Serenity- Um, Tristen, I'm kind scared. Will there be people watching this show? Tristen- Yeah. . .this is a national TV show after all. . . Serenity- Oh! I'm too scared to go on! I just can't go through with it! *starts crying for no reason whatsoever* Tristen- There, there Serenity. . .we'll just wait and go on the show when you're ready, k? Serenity- Thanks Tristen. . . (Inside her head she thinks, sucker!) Ishizu- Well, that's all our couples, folks! Now let's see how they do, in the Yami House! (a.k.a. Loony 'Vil)
Week 1, Day 1, 7:10 a.m., The Kitchen Joey is humming "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he cooks in a pink apron with red hearts that says "Kiss the Chef" on the front and "I Love NY" on the back. A groggy Yami Bakura enters, wearing a very wrinkled black outfit and looking in the mood to kill. Joey- Well, look what da dog dragged i--- (falters at stare from Yami Bakura) (Choosing to ignore Joey's ridiculous outfit, Yami Bakura goes to pour coffee) Joey- Hey dat's mine! New York Coffee House Blend!! Yami Bakura (grimly)- Don't get in the way of me and my coffee, mortal. Joey- Ooooooooooooooooooo, little touchy ain't we now? Yami Bakura (angry)- I've had enough. *fingers Millennium Ring with relish* I hope you enjoy the Shado--- *Yami Yugi enters, in his customary 7 belted outfit* Yami Bakura (to himself)- Damn. *looks up at Joey and Yami Yugi* Are you two staying in here? Both- Yes, why? (Former doesn't answer, just turns promptly and leaves) Joey (used to being ignored)- So whatssup Yug? Yami Yugi- Um, I'm not sure, but isn't the proper response to that, nothing much? Joey- Ya got it! I'm proud of ya Yug! Yami Yugi (smug)- Yes, I am learning the strange speech of the 21st century quite quickly, if I do say myself, uh, dude! Joey- Ya, but 'member dat one time when ya said ya nose was constipated instea' of congested? Man dat was fun-nayyyy! Yami Yugi (ignoring him and wrinkling his nose at the strange concoction in Joey's frying pan)- Um, may I ask what this is, Joey? Joey- Ya sure can! It's my specialty, chocolate covered pizza! Mmmm! Yami Yugi *trying to hide the repulsed look on his face*- That's great, but. . . Must I partake in this, erm, delicacy? Before Joey can answer, a small yelp of surprise emits from the hallway. Yami Yugi and Joey mutually pop their heads out of the door to see Marik looking a little embarrassed as Stephanie pokes at an unknown object under the small end table. Joey *smirking*- What is it? Marik- A repulsive... creature... it 'twas... *shudder* fuzzy! Stephanie- Whatever it 'tis, it 'tisn't coming out. Yami Bakura- Put Joey's concoction near it; the stench will force it to emerge, then we can sacrifice it to the gods. (in an undertone) Though they would much prefer a human offering. *eyes Joey murderously* Yami Yugi- You just want an excuse to kill something! *Yami Bakura shrugs* Where did you come from anyways? Yami Bakura- I heard Marik scream like a Harpie Lady *Marik scowls*, so I figured there was the remote possibility that this would be amusing. Marik- Not amusing, horrible!!! Tea *enters via the hallway, wearing a Happy Lover nightgown*- What's horrible? Joey (smirking, partly at Marik's fear, partly at seeing Tea in her night clothes)- There's a "monsta" under da table. At hearing this new voice, a brown fuzzy head emerges from the ornately decorated wood of the end table. Everyone jumps except for Yami Yugi. Yami Yugi- Nestor? *gathers up the repulsive brown lump in his arms and nuzzles it affectionately* Everyone else- O_o Marik (is the first to recover)- Nestor? This appalling fluff-ball has a name?! Yami Yugi- Yes. Nestor, my pet Kuriboh! Yami Bakura- O gods. Marik- Somehow, this doesn't surprise me. Stephanie- But why a pet...Kuriboh? Yami Yugi- Why not!?! (in a tone that sounded shocked that anyone could ask such a question) Because they're warm and fuzzy and cute and fuzzy and happy and innocent and fuzzy and beautiful and, did I mention fuzzy? *pauses to take a deep breath* And-*continues squeezing "Nestor" until the poor thing's eyes are bulging as sweat drops by everyone else.* Lovable! Joey (suddenly, as the conversation has finally hit his brain)- Hey, a Kuriboh? Did you all know they taste like chicken?!? (crazy hungry gleam enters his eyes as he stares at "Nestor") Yami Yugi- That's enough! (in a suddenly grim and dangerous tone) No one will be eating Nestor. Nor sacrificing him. Nor wearing him as a warm fuzzy slipper. Nor- Emma *enters and takes up her place next to Yami Bakura*- Did I hear sacrifice? *stares at Nestor* Whoa Tea, looks like your cat coughed up a hairball. That's a doozie! Yami Yugi (indignantly)- Emma, this is Nestor. *Nestor pokes out of Yugi's hair at the sound of his name. Emma stifles a cry as the presumed hairball glares at her.* As Yami Yugi shoots imaginary daggers at Emma for thinking Nestor was a result of a feline's indigestion, a scream is heard from the bathroom. Everyone runs to it. Tess- There is some sort of rat coming out of the sink! (shaking finger points at furry protrusion from the drain) Joey- Somehow dat hair color looks familiar. Marik- It looks like Nestor hair! Emma (rabidly turns on Yami Yugi)- You bathe this repulsive creature in our sink!?! Yami Yugi- Well. . .I--- Yami Bakura- And look at this! (opens shower door. All of everyone else's hair stuff has been pushed off and replaced by seemingly dozens of Kuriboh hair care products) Tea- *shrieks at seeing some spilled pink gel all over the tub* Yami! "My Very-Berry Dreams Shampoo"!! It's wasted!!! Yami Yugi *scowling*- He NEEDED a bath!! I must be a good pet owner to him!!! It is my number one d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duty!!! I have legally adopted him as my son, and he shall be treated as such!!! *closes his eyes as if to bottle the vile things he is going to say* Now if you all don't mind, Nestor and I are going on our walk. Yami Yugi puts the miniscule monster back in his hair (it's hangout spot) and saunters out the door, closing it with a slam behind him. The others are left staring at the door for a few minutes in silence. Emma voices what all the others are thinking. "Nestor must die." |