Part Fifty-Five

Giles was roused from his sleep by a loud, constant pounding on his apartment door. He stumbled out of bed, carefully walking downstairs. `Who could it be at this hour?' he wondered. Opening the door, he found Angel standing there. "Angel. Why are you here?"

Angel took a shaky breath, his jaw quivering. "I-I… something's happened to Buffy. She's at Sunnydale Hospital."

Giles allowed Angel to enter, motioning for the young man to have a seat on the couch. "What happened? How is she?"

"She's in a coma. Her heart stopped…and she died…and they revived her," his voice wavered.

"Oh my god. How did this happen, Angel?"

Angel was so close to crying, but he held back, trying to stay strong. He couldn't let Giles see him cry. "It-it was my mother. I don't know exactly what happened; I was fighting some vamps while Buffy and my mother were fighting. All I know is that I saw Buffy get thrown against a mausoleum and fall to the ground. She was unconscious and I called 911 for an ambulance."

"What did the doctors say? How bad are her injuries?" Giles asked.

"A broken jaw, three broken ribs, a deep cut on her cheek that needed twenty stitches, a punctured lung and a cranial contusion. Also some internal bleeding." Angel purposely didn't mention Buffy's miscarriage. He didn't want anyone outside the family knowing about it until Buffy was well enough to be told herself.

"And she's in a coma?"

Angel nodded grimly. "They don't know when, or even if, she'll wake up. The longer she stays unconscious, the less her chances are of making it. It doesn't look good." He gave up on the strong act and let the tears fall.

"There's nothing they can do?"

"No."

Giles put his hand to his eyes, rubbing them. It was all so hard to take. "And Carolyn? What happened to her?"

"She's out of the picture."

"Buffy staked her?"

He shook his head. "No, I did."

********

He didn't know what was going on, except that Angel stopped Carolyn from probably killing him. Geoffrey had to admit that he wasn't exactly fighting her advances very hard. Seeing her after so long brought him back to the passionate encounter they'd shared over two decades earlier. Carolyn's beauty never faded, she still had the face of the young woman he had fallen in love with twenty nine years ago.

The rain came down in buckets, the torrential downpour hitting the shutters like hailstones. It had been raining for hours, and Carolyn still wasn't back yet. Geoffrey was afraid something happened to her; it was eleven o'clock and he hadn't heard from the Slayer.

He'd been trying to deny his feelings for her for years, and it was becoming harder with every passing day. They spent nearly every waking moment together, and Geoffrey wanted so badly to tell her that he loved her; that he had since the day he met her. On her twentieth birthday, he planned to reveal his feelings, but two weeks before, her mother and father were killed in a car accident. Carolyn was devastated, so Geoffrey held off. He moved into the guest house, setting up a spare room as a bedroom for Angel. The five year old often slept over if his mother wasn't home in time to bring him back to the main house.

The rainy night was one of those nights Angel stayed at the guest house with him. Geoffrey shot up from the couch when Carolyn entered the house. She looked like a drowned rat; her clothes stuck to her skin and her long blonde hair was matted to her face and neck. Standing just inside the doorway, she dripped water onto the carpet.

"Carolyn, are you alright? I was worried," the Watcher said hurriedly.

She nodded. "I'm fine, just a little wet. It's really coming down out there."

"I've noticed."

"Is Angel asleep?" she wanted to know.

"Like a log for two hours. That boy of yours could sleep through an earthquake," Geoffrey commented. She laughed softly. He loved her laugh. So light and airy and contagious.

"He's a very lucky boy."

"You're dripping wet. I'll go get you some dry clothes, you take those off and wrap yourself up in a towel to keep dry. I don't want you to catch pneumonia." Carolyn did as her Watcher said, stripping off her wet clothes and wrapping herself in a large green towel she found in the linen closet. Geoffrey returned a minute later, carrying a sweatshirt and pants. The sight of her in so little clothing nearly stopped his racing heart.

"I'm cold," she said, her teeth chattering.

He moved closer, placing his hands on her cold, damp arms, running them up and down in an effort to warm her up.

Carolyn didn't back away from his touch, and Geoffrey didn't stop, even though he knew he should. "Carolyn?"

Her eyes closed. His touch was stirring emotions in her she'd never felt before. Butterflies danced in her stomach. "So cold," she said.

"I have clothes for you. I put them on the couch."

"Just keep doing what you're doing. I'll be warm soon."

Geoffrey continued to stroke her arms, quickly at first, but soon slowing down to gentle caresses. She took a step closer to him so that she stood only inches away from him. Before he knew what was happening, his lips were on hers, his hands tangled in her wet hair. The towel dropped from Carolyn's body.

"I love you, Carolyn," he murmured. "I always have."

For the first time in her life, Carolyn Reilly felt beautiful and desired. "I love you, too," she replied. And she did love him. She walked forward, forcing Geoffrey to walk back into his bedroom. Her lips never left his as they reached the bed. Carolyn wanted Geoffrey to be the first man she ever made love to. And as the rain continued to fall, he made love to her - the only woman he would ever love.

Geoffrey stirred from his memories when Angel entered the apartment. Checking his watch, he saw that it was three in the morning. Looking at Angel, he was shocked by his disheveled appearance. The young man looked much older than his twenty eight years. "Where've you been?" he asked.

After staking his mother, Angel took off without a word. Geoffrey had no idea what was going on, except the bits he heard. "At the hospital. Then I went to Giles'."

"What was all that about earlier?" he wanted to know.

"Buffy was hurt during patrol. She is in a coma," Angel answered simply.

Geoffrey grimaced. Everything made sense now. "It was Carolyn. She hurt Buffy, didn't she?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. And the doctors don't know if Buffy will make it. She already died once tonight, and now she might die for good. My god, what will I do without her?"

"She'll be fine. Buffy's a fighter, she will bounce back. I'm sure of it."

"I had to make a choice, the one you told me about. Choosing between my mother and Buffy. I killed my own mother." Angel's eyes became glassy with tears. "That wasn't Carolyn, it was the demon that took over her body. But it was very brave of you, I was there." Angel bit his lip. "I don't even remember doing it. One minute I heard her talking to you and the next she was gone."

"You did what you felt was right. She almost killed Buffy."

"I couldn't let my mother do that to her again. She took so much from us tonight."

"The baby?" Angel looked at his surrogate father, questions in his eyes. "How did you know?" he demanded.

"After you staked your mother, you said you and Buffy lost your baby. She had a miscarriage, I take it," Geoffrey wagered. He couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He thought it wasn't possible for him to cry anymore, but he couldn't keep it in. So many tears had fallen from his eyes that day that he lost count.

"Buffy was almost three months pregnant. We were going to have a baby boy the doctor told me. We created this little baby and now we'll never see him. He was innocent in all this, and now he's the victim. The only thing I ever did right and now it's gone. All because of my mother. Buffy and I may never be given a second chance at another child."

"You and Buffy will have plenty more chances," Geoffrey reassured him.

"Not if she doesn't wake up. As much as I hate to say it, you and Giles were right. It was dangerous for me and Buffy to be together. I almost got her killed and I *did* kill our son."

"Don't say that, Angel. None of this is your fault, so don't go blaming yourself. Buffy wouldn't."

"Her father hates me. He thinks I did it on purpose; that I wanted to kill her and our baby. Mr. Summers doesn't want me to see her anymore. I think he may be right. I've caused Buffy nothing but heartache."

Geoffrey put his arms around Angel. "I bet she thinks differently. You two love each other. I've seen the way she looks at you, she adores you. In no way could she blame you for this, or say that you've hurt her."

"I have hurt her, or have you forgotten my little attack?" reminded Angel.

"I'm not talking about that. It's ancient history to Buffy, she told me so. For once, would you believe in yourself? You have a kind, caring, beautiful young woman who thinks you hung the moon. Stop belittling who think you are and look at yourself the way she does; the way we all do.

"I am sorry about what happened to Buffy, and that she lost your baby. But that wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who pushed her against that mausoleum, Carolyn was. She came here with the intent of killing the Slayer, regardless of whether or not you were in love with the girl. It was you who saved Buffy's life. If you hadn't been there, she might be dead right now."

Angel simply hung his head. There was nothing he could say.

"Has Giles called the Council yet?" Geoffrey wanted to know.

He nodded. "Yes. A new Slayer was activated the minute Buffy's heart stopped. I guess it doesn't matter that she's alive again. Her name is Nicole, and she will be in Sunnydale tomorrow afternoon. Or today, I guess. Giles will be taking care of her initial training."

"Will you be helping this Nicole girl?"

"No. I'm going to be with Buffy every waking minute."

"Angel…"

"No. I don't want to hear it. When Buffy wakes up, I want to be the first person she sees."

Part Fifty-Six

The time was past ten when Angel woke up the next morning. It had been a restless sleep, constantly tossing and turning from his internal struggles. Was it really his fault that Buffy lay in a coma? And if so, would he be able to handle seeing her again, looking deep into her emerald eyes and not think that he'd almost ended her life? Either way, he wasn't too sure.

He woke up to a wet pillow under his right cheek. Running his fingers along his cheekbone, he discovered the fresh tears that spilt during his troubled sleep. He wondered if he'd ever be able to stop crying. Most of the night had been spent in tears, with the Summers', Giles, Geoffrey and himself, and he would have thought his body unable to produce any more tears. But remembering the sight of Buffy lying on the ground, bloody and bruised; laying in a hospital bed hooked up to numerous machines; and the thought of their unborn son sent Angel over the edge yet again.

Mechanically, he crawled out of bed, walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he performed his daily morning routine, every little thing reminded him of her. Buffy's toothbrush in the cup next to his, her toiletries adorning his sink and medicine cabinet. He blinked away more tears when his gaze fell upon the space between the couch and the coffee table, where they'd made love after he told her about his high school experiences. Even looking at the kitchen counter brought him back.

"Buffy, I don't think this is such a good place to do this," Angel said to her.

She grinned. "Don't be such a wimp. It'll be fun."

"And uncomfortable."

"No, it won't. It'll be exciting. Come on, live a little."

He groaned. "Having sex on the counter isn't my idea of exciting."

Buffy pouted. "Please? For me?"

"I don't know…"

"You got to have your fun in the shower, now I want to do it on the counter. It's either this or the table."

Angel had given in and they made love on the kitchen counter. Now, at the memory of it, he unconsciously ran his hand across the cold tile.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," Geoffrey commented from behind him.

He turned. "I didn't expect to sleep that long. I wanted to be at the hospital by nine o'clock. Visiting hours started then."

"You needed your sleep. Don't deny yourself that. It's bad enough that Buffy is in the hospital, we don't need you being admitted as well." Angel blinked. "I just want to be with her for as long as I can."

"And make yourself sick in the process? You know Buffy wouldn't want that."

"It makes me feel so helpless, but then I think that maybe if I'm there, Buffy'll wake up."

"She'll wake up when she's ready to, Angel."

"Yeah, I know. But I can't stand the wait."

"It'll happen."

"Do you want to come to the hospital with me?" asked Angel. Geoffrey shook his head. "This is your time with her. I'll visit another day."

"Alright. But if Giles calls…"

"I know, I know. Don't mention the baby. You have my word; it stays between us and Buffy's family." Angel hugged him. "Thank you, Geoffrey. That means a lot that you'll keep this a secret."

"Go see Buffy."

"I'm going to. One more thing before I go. If a Mr. Jackson calls while I am gone, could you read him this?" Angel handed him a slip of paper. "Of course." After Angel left for the hospital, Geoffrey read what was written on the piece of paper. GREGORY REILLY. NEVER SEEN BUT LOVED NONETHELESS.

********

Angel stepped through the double doors of Sunnydale Hospital. By the time he'd showered and gotten dressed, it was almost eleven. On his way to the elevators, he saw Kevin Matthews walking toward him. He groaned in annoyance. "What are you doing here?" growled Angel.

Kevin smiled ever-so-slightly. "Visiting Buffy. She's with the doctor right now."

"How did you find out she was here?"

"It was on the news last night. So I thought I'd stop by and see how she's doing. I brought her some flowers and stuff."

Angel glared at him. "You stay away from Buffy. It's bad enough with the ideas you put in her head while I was gone, I don't need you putting things in her subconscious. You've already hurt her enough."

"And you haven't?" Kevin shot back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, don't play dumb. She has a severe head injury and I don't think it was caused by a mugger. You put her in here, I know it. I see who you really are. A heartless, abusive boyfriend."

He held back his anger, trying his hardest not to explode. "I never laid a hand on Buffy."

Kevin sneered. "Sure you didn't. She's in here because she ran head-first into a mausoleum? I don't think so. Buffy may not have loved me, but at least I never beat her up or put her in the hospital. Look what your love's done to her - she's in a coma. She was better off with me and you know it."

He walked out of the building, leaving Angel to think about what he'd said. `Is Kevin right?' Angel asked himself while on the elevator to the fourth floor. Maybe if I'd never entered her life, Buffy would be safe. He continued to think about this while on his way to the waiting room. From the doorway, he heard Buffy's parents talking.

"I couldn't sleep last night, Hank. All I could think about was Buffy being here."

"Me, too."

"It got me thinking. I started going through my assets and I realized that the hospital bills are going to be horrendous. I'll never be able to afford them on my earnings," Mrs. Summers to her ex-husband. "You're not in this alone, Joyce. I'll be paying for them, too." She shook her head. "Unless the firm increased your salary by three hundred percnt, there's not much either of us can do." "We'll figure something out," Mr. Summers reassured her. "All that matters is that Buffy gets well."

"I know, but I can't help worrying. You know how hospitals overcharge for everything. I'm going to have to take out a second mortgage on the house, and possibly put the gallery up for sale." Angel stepped into the room, interrupting their conversation. "No, you won't."

"Angel," Mrs. Summers said. "When did you get here?"

"A minute ago. I heard what you said about the house and the gallery. I won't let it happen. Don't worry about Buffy's hospital bills, I'll pay them."

Before either parent could say anything, the doctor entered the waiting room. "I have good news. We took Buffy off the ventilator, she's breathing on her own." They all sighed with relief. It was a step in the right direction; a step closer to recovery.

"May we see her?" Mr. Summers wanted to know.

"Only one at a time."

"Hank, you go first. I need to speak with Angel." He nodded and headed down the hall toward Buffy's room.

Mrs. Summers looked at her daughter's boyfriend. "Why, Angel? Why are you doing this?"

"I owe it to you and Mr. Summers."

"You don't owe us anything. Buffy's hospital bills are our concern, not yours. We're her parents, let us take care of them," she said to him. "But I put her here. This is my fault, and doing this is all I can do at the moment to redeem myself for the hurt I've caused all of you."

"How can it be your fault? You didn't hurt Buffy."

"You don't know the whole story," Angel said. "It wasn't just a random vampire who attacked Buffy. It was my mother." Mrs. Summers was genuinely confused. "What? You told me she died."

"That's what I was told, but it turns out she was turned into a vampire. To make a long story short, she found out about me and Buffy and started stalking us. Last night, she decided she was going to kill her. I can only take comfort in the fact that she failed in her attempt," Angel explained.

"Where is she now?" He glanced downward. "She's dead. For good this time."

"You killed her?"

"She more than deserved it for what she did to Buffy and our baby."

"It must have been hard for you."

Angel shook his head. "No. What's hard is knowing that I had a son and now Buffy and I will never see him. And that you and Mr. Summers hate me for that."

"For what?"

"Getting Buffy pregnant."

"Do I act like I hate you? I don't. Angel, I know that you wouldn't have abandoned her or your child. And that you were going to marry her. I was aware that you and Buffy have been having sex, and I also know that sometimes a couple forgets about protection, and even if it is used, there's no guarantee. I can't hate you for making my daughter feel loved and special, or that a child was born out of that. If I've made you think otherwise, I'm sorry."

"But your ex-husband…"

"Hank is an idiot. He's hurting right now and he took it out on you. Neither of us blame you for what happened to Buffy. We're upset that she's here and not at home, and that we'll never know our grandson." Angel inhaled deeply. "Imagine how Buffy's going to feel."

"It'll all work out. You two will make Hank and I grandparents again someday."

********

"Angel?"

He'd been sitting by Buffy's bedside, holding her hand for over an hour. Mr. and Mrs. Summers had gone out for lunch, so Angel took the opportunity to spend more time with the comatose Slayer. He looked up to see Giles standing in the doorway.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I wanted to introduce you to Nicole Bakowski, the new Slayer. And I also wanted to visit Buffy. How is she doing?" Giles asked.

"A little better. She's breathing on her own now. It's a good sign."

Giles smiled. "That's great news. Would you mind if I visited for a minute? I won't be long."

"Sure." Angel stood up and let Giles sit with her. In the hallway, he saw a tall, dark-haired girl no older than seventeen leaning against the wall, looking very uncomfortable. "Hi, you must be Nicole."

"Yep."

"I'm Angel Reilly."

"Nice to meet you. Not to sound rude, but what happened to her?" Nicole asked, pointing to Buffy. "Is she why I'm here?"

"That's Buffy Summers, the Slayer. There was an accident last night and she's in a coma. Her heart stopped, which is why you were called," Angel informed her.

Nicole nodded. "You are close, I take it."

"Very. She's my girlfriend."

"But I thought you were a Watcher."

"I am. It's a special circumstance."

She stared at him. He looked tired and worn out. It was apparent that Angel hadn't shaved, or that he hadn't slept much the night before. Still, she'd never seen a more handsome man. And she'd been with plenty of men.

Giles stepped out of the room. "I'm so sorry, Angel," he said.

"Thank you."

"I remember what it was like for me when my Jenny died. She was killed by a vampire in February of last year. I was devastated, I loved her so much, she was my best friend. I can understand what you're going through; how hard it must be for you."

Angel only looked at him. "You have no idea what I'm going through, Giles. You can never understand how hard it is."

Part Fifty-Seven

Days turned into nights, nights became days, and into weeks, and before anyone knew it, a month had passed. It was three days before Christmas and Buffy still lay in a coma. She hadn't blinked, wiggled or twitched her fingers, or made a single sound. Hope slowly began to diminish among the hospital staff that the pretty blonde girl in Room 424 would ever regain consciousness. They wore sympathetic faces when family was near, but secretly wondered how long Buffy would be able to survive.

Buffy's friends were shocked and devastated by the turn of events. Willow cried for a better part of the next day, and came up to visit whenever she could. She always told the comatose Slayer what was going on with school and with the slaying. One of the first things she said to Buffy after meeting Nicole was how much she disliked the new Slayer.

"I don't like her, something's just wrong with her," Willow said. "Buffy, you better wake up soon. Nicole wants more than just your job as Slayer."

It didn't go undetected by the redhead the looks Nicole always seemed to give Angel. While he never paid attention to Buffy's replacement, she certainly paid attention to him. Willow would catch her gazing at him out of the corner of her eye, how she took every opportunity to be near him, be with him and attempt to touch him. But Angel was always too distracted to really notice.

The entire gang - Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia - felt worse for him than for Buffy's family. Ever since the accident, Angel closed himself off from everyone and everything. He stopped taking interest in his physical appearance and didn't dress as dapperly as he had before. In the month that passed, Angel hadn't bothered shaving. Not a lot had grown in the way of a beard or a mustache, but it was a significant enough change to let the world know that he no longer cared about how he looked.

The only time he left the hospital was to go home and sleep. From nine in the morning until eight at night, he'd sit in the waiting room or in Buffy's room, holding her hand and saying how much he missed her, how much he needed her.

To everyone that knew him before, Angel had become a shell of the man he used to be. In essence, he played the part of the grieving widower, which was how he felt. And he knew that if Buffy didn't make it, he'd soon follow.

Her bruises were beginning to heal. Her cheeks returned to their normal rosy color, the stitches over her cut had been removed, leaving a long, red scrape that would surely scar. Buffy's jaw was almost fully healed and her ribs were repaired through a minor surgery four days after her admittance. Now, all that was left was for her to wake up.

Wednesday afternoon, the Wednesday before Christmas, Angel and Willow sat in the waiting room while Xander and Cordelia visited with Buffy.

"We're all going to the Bronze tonight, Angel, if you want to come with us," Willow invited.

He flashed her a slight smile. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't think so."

"You have to face the world someday."

"My world is lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. I want to be here with her."

"Buffy wouldn't want you to be spending your whole day here. She'd force you to go out and enjoy yourself."

He shook his head. "It's easier said than done, believe me. I can't go out and have fun when she's here. It wouldn't be right."

"You're killing yourself, don't you realize that?"

"I don't care. Without Buffy, I don't have anything worth living for."

"Don't say that. You have us," she admonished. "Angel, you have plenty to live for."

"Like what? Slaying? How can I go out there and do that when that very thing killed her?"

"Stop talking about Buffy like she's already dead. She's not."

"I know. Sometimes I can't help it. It hurts." Willow sighed. "You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to open up. We all know what you're feeling because we feel it too. We can share our grief, our pain. Let us in."

But he couldn't. The grief he carried, he would have to carry himself. Angel knew that by now, Buffy would have been four months pregnant. They'd probably be out shopping for clothes, a crib, toys, diapers and other necessities for their son. That was simply a dream, a cold, hard reality lost to him. Not a day passed that Angel didn't think about Gregory, the son they lost.

Visiting hours ended at eight o'clock, and at five after, Angel tore himself from Buffy's bedside, forced to leave for another night. He hated leaving her, even though he knew she was receiving the best possible care. There was always the possibility that something might happen while he was gone. He stood at the elevators, waiting for the next available car.

With his back to the Nurse's Station, he heard two nurses talking. "You know who's really hot? That guy who's always here visiting the girl in 424," one nurse said.

"I feel so bad for him. He's here constantly, holding vigil at her bedside. It's so sad," the other nurse replied.

"Yeah, I hear ya. When she finally dies, he's going to be a mess, I can tell. Actually, I wouldn't mind being the shoulder he cries on. A man that good-looking shouldn't be spending his days in a hospital grieving for his dying girlfriend."

"You think she's dying?"

"Uh-huh. The girl's been in a coma for a month. Ain't no way she's gonna wake up. I'll bet she's dead by New Year's."

I can't let my Buffy die, Angel said to himself, stepping into the elevator. They're wrong. She'll wake up.

********

When he returned home, Angel was beyond upset. He wasn't thinking clearly and for the first time in his life, he needed a drink. Angel never drank alcohol very much, but he desperately wanted to get obliterated out of his mind. Maybe it would numb his pain. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and headed for his bedroom to drink it. Geoffrey wasn't home, he'd returned to Los Angeles for a few days to tend to things there. Angel told him to go, get away from Sunnydale for a while. He would be back by Christmas Eve.

His first stop upon entering his bedroom was opening the top drawer of his dresser, pulling out the small velvet box containing Buffy's engagement ring. He stared at it for a long time once he settled down onto his bed. "Three days. I was going to propose in three days. Everything was planned. I'd take her to the park, sit on the swings, then get down on one knee and ask Buffy to marry me. But not now. Everything is ruined now. Dammit!" He swallowed a mouthful of the alcoholic beverage, ignoring the burning sensation as it went down his throat. By nine-thirty, Angel finished the bottle and passed out on the bed, still clutching the box.

********

The door had been left partly open. Nicole poked her head inside. "Angel?" she called, but received no answer. She entered the apartment, closing the door softly behind her. Giles sent her over to give Angel some books.

Making her way through the apartment, Nicole searched every room for him. She knew that he always came home after leaving the hospital, and that he had to be home. Looking in his bedroom, she found him sprawled on the bed, unconscious. At first, she thought he was sleeping, but when she saw the empty whiskey bottle on the floor next to the bed, Nicole knew he'd gotten drunk. Grinning, she took the rare opportunity to do what she'd been fantasizing about doing since first laying eyes on him. Nicole bent down to kiss his lips. She could taste the alcohol on them, but didn't care. Climbing onto the bed, straddling him, she lifted Angel's shirt over his head. He lay prone to her, his chest bare for her to kiss a line from his throat to the waistband of his jeans. Nicole wanted him, whether he be sober or drunk.

When his pants were being removed, Angel slowly drifted back into consciousness. The room was hazy and spinning, and the only thing he was aware of were the hands tugging at his clothing.

Nicole looked at him, thinking about how perfect his body was, and what a magnificent lover he must be. Soon, she'd find out. She wanted him to touch her, make love to her. Her hopes rose when she gazed into his eyes, seeing the lust in them.

"Buffy," he moaned. He never saw Nicole above him. The person he was seeing had blonde hair and piercing green eyes. His Buffy, his love. She was with him, touching him. "I missed you."

He thinks I'm his Slayer. Won't he be surprised. She kissed him again, shoving her tongue inside his mouth.

Angel, even through his drunken haze, could tell something was wrong. Buffy never kissed him like that, plundering his mouth. She was always so gentle, their tongues doing an erotic mating dance. This girl was raping him with her mouth. As his tongue ran over Nicole's piercing, Angel sobered up immediately. He pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Nicole flirted.

"Get out of here," Angel growled.

She ran her fingers across his chest. "I like it here with you. I want you, Angel. So badly. I can almost taste it."

"Well, I don't want you. Get the hell out of my apartment."

"You don't mean that."

"Try me."

"I know you like fucking Slayers. Wanna try it with someone who has some experience? I've got muscles you've never dreamed of, and I know how to use them," Nicole said seductively. "I can bet I'd give you more pleasure than that comatose little girl you've been sleeping with."

Angel pushed her off the bed. "I'm not some guy you can just get into bed. I love Buffy and if you ever talk like that about her again, I'll make you regret it. Go find someone else, because I don't want you."

"You can't get rid of me this easily. I'll have you, one way or another. I promise you that," she said as she walked out the door.

Part Fifty-Eight

"You've always loved Christmas, Angel," Geoffrey commented as they walked up the steps to the Summers' front porch. They'd been invited to spend Christmas with Buffy's mother, as well as with a few friends. "Why is it that you look like you're being led to your execution?"

Angel shrugged his broad shoulders. "I'm not in a very festive mood, I guess."

"Buffy, huh?"

"This was supposed to be our first Christmas together. I had it all planned."

"I'm sorry. I know that today was going to be the day," apologized Geoffrey.

"It was. But now everything's ruined."

"No, it's not. Maybe today wasn't the day it's meant to happen. Someday, son, you will put that ring on her finger and you two will get married. There's no doubt in my mind."

Angel grimaced. "She has to wake up first."

"Buffy will pull through this. You've been brooding for over a month now. Today I want you to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Buffy's mother went to a lot of trouble to cook this dinner for us. Forget about life's problems for awhile and enjoy it." Geoffrey rang the doorbell, and they waited a minute for someone to answer.

Mrs. Summers opened the door with a festive grin on her face. "Angel, I'm glad you came. Merry Christmas."

He smiled. "Same to you, Joyce." He placed the gifts he brought under the tree once they entered, then embraced her.

"You must be Geoffrey," she said, extending her arm to the older man. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Geoffrey was struck by her appearance. This forty-something woman could easily pass for Buffy's sister. She was as breathtaking as her daughter. "The pleasure is all mine, ma'am," he told her, kissing the back of her hand.

"Please, call me Joyce." She liked the charming Englishman.

"Very well." She motioned with her hands for them to sit down. "Have a seat on the couch while I finish with dinner."

"Do you need any help?" Angel asked.

Mrs. Summers shook her head. "No thanks. It's almost ready. Another fifteen minutes."

Angel took a seat, staring at the fireplace, thinking about how awkward it felt to be at Buffy's home without Buffy there. He felt guilty for not being at the hospital with her, but Mrs. Summers had insisted he spend the holidays at her house. First thing the next morning, he'd be with Buffy once again.

Geoffrey followed Mrs. Summers into the kitchen. "How have you been holding up?"

She sighed unhappily. "As well as I can. I try to put up a strong front for Hank and Angel and the kids, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up."

"I can only imagine how hard it must be for you and your husband."

"Ex-husband, actually. Four years now. But we're taking it day by day. There isn't anything we can do, though, except wait for Buffy to wake up."

"Like I tell Angel everyday, she'll come out of it when she's ready." She nodded grimly.

"He's taking it harder than all of us."

"He blames himself for what's happened," said Geoffrey.

"It's not his fault, nobody blames him. Not me, not Hank, nobody. Angel shouldn't take responsibility for what his mother did."

Geoffrey was taken aback. "You know about Carolyn?"

"Is that her name? Carolyn?" He nodded. "Angel told me the following day. But none of that has anything to do with him. He stopped her, killed her and he saved my little girl's life. He's done everything he can to protect her. I'm grateful for that."

"Still, he feels responsible."

"Angel's in a lot of pain, which I know about. He and Buffy love each other very much, and what he's going through is hard."

Geoffrey agreed with what she was saying. "I know exactly what he's going through."

"You lost your wife?"

He shook his head. "No, I've never been married. But I was in love with someone once and she was killed. It devastated me and I didn't think I could go on, but I did. That was over twenty years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Although I fear Angel may take a more dangerous route than I did. I left the city after my lover died. I am afraid that Angel may do something much more drastic."

Mrs. Summers widened her eyes. "You think he might commit suicide if something were to happen to Buffy?"

Geoffrey looked into the empty living room. "I wouldn't put it past him."

********

Angel walked upstairs to the bathroom. He'd drunk too much coffee that afternoon and he needed to use the facilities. On the way, he passed Buffy's bedroom. Peeking inside, he saw that it remained exactly the same as it had been a month earlier. He entered the room, his eyes wandering to the shelves near the door. On the fourth shelf, he found a framed 8x10 of them taken at the Prom. It was the same picture he had on his bedstand at home and in Mrs. Summers' office at the art gallery. Angel couldn't believe how happy they looked, how carefree. As if nothing could tear them apart. He longed for those days of innocence. Lost in his thoughts, he never heard her enter. It wasn't until he turned around that he saw Nicole in the doorway. He blushed and turned away when he noticed that she wore only a towel around her head.

She, on the other hand, grinned mischievously. "Angel, I didn't realize you were in here." Nicole made no attempt to hide her nakedness. He felt uncomfortable around her, knowing that it was not a coincidence causing her to enter without covering herself up.

Angel knew what she wanted, and he certainly wasn't about to give it to her. "Why are you here?"

"Mrs. Summers invited me to dinner. She said I could shower and stay for the night."

"In Buffy's room?"

She nodded. "Yep." Nicole plopped herself down on the bed. "You know, this bed is very comfy. Did you and Buffy ever do it in here?"

He glared at the young girl. "That's none of your business."

Nicole continued to grin. "You know, my offer still stands. How about we do it here, in Princess' bed? That would be exciting."

"I'm not interested."

"That's right, you're a one Slayer guy. According to her diary, you're a hell of a great lover. I believe her exact words were, `With one touch and one look, he can send me into fits of orgasm like I never imagined.' Did you know that she is afraid that she never makes you feel the same way? Princess feels a little inadequate. I wonder why."

"You read her diary? What gives you the right?" he accused.

"It was there, I was bored, so I did some reading. I have to admit, I was shocked to find out that Princess is the only lay you've ever had. And in L.A., Watcher Boy liked it rough," Nicole taunted. "You don't seem like the type. But hey, I can do rough. You and Princess ever try bondage?"

Angel's heart pounded like a jackhammer. He was embarrassed that Nicole knew the intimate details about his and Buffy's love life. "Stay away from us. I'm not interested in playing your little games." He walked out of Buffy's room, heading for the bathroom.

"You already are."

********

"Joyce, open yours first," Angel instructed. She took the large, heavy present from the pile next to her. She had no idea what it could be. "It's so big! What on earth did you get me?"

"Open it and find out."

Mrs. Summers tore at the wrapping paper. Her breath caught when she saw what Angel gave her. It was a portrait of herself and Buffy, drawn in pencil with shades of black and white. "Oh my lord, this is so beautiful, Angel. This must have cost you a fortune."

He smiled shyly. "I drew it myself a few months ago. Do you like it?"

"I love it. You drew this? I didn't know you were an artist."

"I'm not, it's sort of a hobby. I wasn't sure what to get you, so Buffy suggested I draw a picture of the two of you," he said.

"Thank you, it's exquisite. I'll put it above the fireplace."

Angel shook his head. "You don't have to."

"I want to." They opened the rest of their gifts. Geoffrey received a cellular phone from Angel and a gray sweater from Mrs. Summers. He, in turn, bought her a gold necklace. Angel got a watch from Mrs. Summers and a china set from Geoffrey. "Will I see you at the hospital tomorrow?" Angel asked Buffy's mother.

"I'll be there in the early afternoon."

********

Angel held Buffy's hand to his lips. "Yesterday was Christmas, you know. Our first Christmas together, and I had to spend it without you. It felt all wrong to celebrate such a festive occasion and not have you to share it with. "Your mom loved the picture, Buffy, you were right. She asked me to hang it on the mantle above the fireplace. I have to admit, it's a beautiful picture. Not artistically, but because I had the most beautiful subject. You.

"But it was bittersweet. I couldn't give you your present. Buffy, I was going to propose to you last night. I bought the ring and everything. It was going to be the proposal you deserved. Me down on one knee, holding a diamond ring in hopes you'd actually say yes. I want so badly to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. But you're here, and I can't ask you while you're unconscious. That's why you have to wake up, Buffy. So I can give you that engagement ring; so you'll know just how important you are to me. Just open your eyes."

Sobs wracked his body, making him tremble as tears fell from his eyes. Everything he ever wanted was within his grasp and it seemed like he'd lost it all in a heartbeat. Angel cried so hard that he never felt Buffy's fingers twitch in his hand.

Buffy's eyes lazily opened, focusing on her crying boyfriend. "Angel?" she whispered softly.

He lifted his head, making eye contact with the now-conscious Buffy. She was awake.