Stoneribs

The legendary warrior of Native American mythos was a known early riser. He took a light breakfast in his wigwam at 6.30 prompt each morning, complemented by a cup of Keemun tea, served with a little buffalo milk.

In the afternoons he liked to relax and smoke a bit of peace pipe, and a mellow pot of rose pouchong was always on the brew. However, on the occassions when he transformed into a magic halibut, he insisted upon a brisk, refreshing cup of lemon tea beforehand. Stoneribs had impeccable manners, and well knew that lemon is an ideal accompaniment to fish.

Why any God would choose the ability to change into a giant halibut as proof of their power is a mystery even today, However, stories this mythical beast are prevelant in North American native history. The beast was reputed to be of immense strength and of terrible breath. However, he was also of kind heart and is often portrayed in cave paintings playing whith children around the camp fires. The brute was also recorded in native song. Digitally re-mastered and now available on CD, their most popular song entitled "Halibut's a'comin' (something fishy)" is set to take the charts by storm.

As Europeans began to sweep westwards across the great plains of Central America, they became sworn ememies of the native tribesmen. Opposing tribes joined forces in an uneasy alliance and called upon their powerful Gods to smite them down. Stoneribs, though brave and kind, could not contain the palefaces. In his first (and ultimately last) battle, he faced hundreds of hungry cavalry soldiers. He fought bravely, but his sodden tea bags and flappy fins were no match for the carbine repeaters of the well trained cavalry, who feasted on halibut and chips for months.

Always thinking of others to the end, the aromatic flesh was attributed to Stone-ribs' insistence that his last cuppa be lemon tea.