The Man In The Iron Mask

In 1698 a mysterious man was imprisoned in the Bastille. Although no-one knew his identity, residents of the French prison were usually important people who had fallen out of favour with King Louis XIV. Records indicate that the man was a captive of the government since at least 1687 and until his death in 1703 had to wear an iron mask to conceal his identity.

According to letters written by the King�s sister in law, Princess Palatine, the prisoner was treated well. Quite the bon viveur, he enjoyed tea from finest silverware and china imported from the Far East. Indeed, the governor of the Bastille regularly took took stock of imported teas, most notably loose green tea for his delectation.

Undeterred by the handicap of an iron mask, the prisoner was able to drink is tea with the aid of a straw and what began as a pastime soon became a vocation. The mysterious man sought adventure from the confines of his cell by revelling in the discovery and consumption of new teas. He was said to be particularly fond of Darjeeling but always remained true to his first love: Green Tea. In 1701, fearing the iron mask would rust due to tea spillage, the governor of the Bastille had the mask temporarily removed and galvanised in chrome to prevent further deterioration. The prisoner took advantage of this brief respite and had a well earned shave and a facial massage.

A model prisoner and keen guitar player, the prisoner would have been eligible for parole had events not taken a tragic turn for the worse when the prisoner first sampled some Chai Tea. As the tea began to take affect, he become increasingly unstable and began to rant. Unable to control him, guards fled in fear as the wretched man became sexually aroused and began to perform acts of lewd conduct. Despite this setback, the man was allowed to continue taking chai tea in reduced doses (one cup per week) and guards were eventually able to enter the cell unmolested.

His death was a welcome relief from the iron mask but even in death he remained masked. When revolutionaries stormed the Bastille, this wretched man�s skeleton was said to have been discovered, still wearing the iron mask in a shallow grave of Green Tea surrounded by hundreds of straws.