Project : Seal Clubbing

Case Study: 02/004

Purpose of experiment

The following analysis was to determine the favoured location for seal clubbing. The two venues to be considered were Ibiza and Aiya-Napa, both renowned for their clubbing. The analysis focused on a feild experiment involving twenty seals and used data gathered from this experiment to draw an accurate conclusion.

Equipment

Bunsen burner Tripod xxxxxxxxxx Test tube Seal

Bunsen burner Tripod Gauze mat Test tube Seals

Method

Place the bunsen burner under the tripod with the gauze mat on the top.
Put the seals into the test tube.
Ignite the bunsen burner.
Record the findings.

In the 1970s and 1980s, with charts dominated by disco and new romantics, seals shunned the music scene, preferring instead to uphold the more traditional form of clubbing: namely a big stick to the back of the bonce.

However, in the late 80s as the tide of public opinion turned against this barbaric practice, traditional seal clubbing fell by the wayside, much to the relief of the seals but to the dismay of the mink.

More recent times have seen the emergence of a new form of seal clubbing. Seals, fuelled by cheap Russian vodka and Gauliuos cigarettes, have established themselves quite literally, as the ultimate party animal, giving rise to the �Blubber-Clubber� culture. Today, thanks largely to the seals, Ibiza and Aiya-Napa stand out as beacons to thousands of young party goers the world over as a haven for hardcore clubbing.

In order to see which venue is most favoured by seals, we took two groups of ten seals comprising of five males and five females and, under laboratory conditions, flew them out to Ibiza and Aiya-Napa with tour operators Club 18� by 30� for a seven day experiment.

Results

The results were exhausting. The seals enjoyed gyrating to the music (apart from Los Ketchup), but soon became worn out due to the intense heat in both locations and excessive drug-taking. Males and females alike were also unsuited to the warm Mediterranean waters.

Conclusions

Seals are natural party animals, entirely at ease dancing, drinking and engaging in no strings attached sex (much like humans). However, they are also blubbery, furry creatures, not at all designed for Cyprus, the Balearics, or indeed any hot sun or white sands-type environment.

Therefore, the Analysts have concluded that the seal party capital of the Northern Hemisphere remains the aptly named Disko Bay, on the west coast of Greenland. Here, seals of all nationalities can boogie 'til dawn without fear of overheating, and chill out on an iceberg the next morning.

No seals were harmed during this experiment. All were safely returned to their natural habitat.