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I am In A Relationship Right Now With An Alcoholic |
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I am In A Relationship Right Now With An Alcoholic![]() As a drug counselor, I receive many questions. This next one is typical: Q: I am in a relationship right now with an alcoholic. I love him dearly. I've never even had a drink before, so this is very foreign to me. My heart aches when he would rather spend his last dollar on beer than pay a bill or buy his children Christmas presents. I am at a loss and don't know what to do. Please help. A: Your question reminds me of a comment by my friend Michael Connelly. Michael compares alcohol and drug dependency to relationships we have with people in our lives ( but for addict/alcoholic drug has become the " most important relationship in their world' ) . It didn't start out this way. The user never intended for it to happen. The process was so gradual, they never saw it coming and now their relationship with alcohol is like a bad marriage. The drug and the person using it are so deeply committed to each other that they can not imagine life without using, in spite of all problems and consequences that go with disease. So what now? What can I do to stop this insanity? When it gets to this point it's often consequences and more pain that makes the difference. Pain is a wonderful teacher. We learn things through pain that we often can't learn in any other way. Do not get in the way of consequences. Let them pile up. At some point we should simply say that he must quit or you will leave the relationship. Then stick with your decision. Remember that addiction is progressive and even fatal. We have heard it said that " we can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink', which is true, but consequences can be salt that makes him thirsty. Life is way too short to live very long with an active alcoholic. Keep in mind that your friend is either in denial or unaware of his problem. Whichever it may be is unimportant at this point. He's lucky to have someone like yourself to force issue. People can and do change all the time. More often than not, it's because someone who cares did right thing. Force issue! Where to buy cheap medicine |
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