A/N: aaaaaaaaand the birth of dear true Emiya shows up. :3

Chapter Twenty-Two

�It was a woman?�

�Yes, my queen,� said Emiya; holding his head down to the ground. �I followed after her when I realized something was amiss. She had a phial of your� seed,� he said, his ears beginning to turn pink.

Arturia gazed at her servant with an assessing glare. A witch had come into her room while she was incapacitated by whatever spell-work she had used, made Arturia a man, just to get Arturia�s semen? Arturia squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. The very memory of what she experienced while she was forced asleep made her feel sick and disgusting.

Merlin watched Arturia carefully. �You had no choice in the matter, Arturia, so you shouldn�t feel terrible about it. Men lose that much when they dream certain things, you weren�t any different.�

�But I am different, Merlin!� she snapped. She shuddered and hugged herself. �I�m a woman. I was born a woman and will die a woman. That I experienced a form of s-sex as a man feels disgusting to me.� She normally wouldn�t have been so bothered if it had not been for the very experience that made her both angry and humiliated.

Merlin patted Arturia�s shoulder gently as he watched his pupil. She really had gone through something she truly despised. He hoped it wouldn�t ruin her enjoyment of the sex-act when it came time for her to be married, for he already knew that several of the upper class women hated marriage already and hated sex with their husbands, for they had arranged marriages to people they did not like.

Arturia looked at Emiya and leaned forward, touching his hair. �Your hair has gone white, Emiya. Why is this?�

Merlin eyed Emiya as he looked down once more. �It may have been the trauma of the cruciatus curse. It does terrible things to the body. Or it could have been a severe drain on his magic that caused it. His imaging takes a bit from his life force to produce his weapons or whatever when he uses his imaging.�

Emiya looked up at Merlin, raising an eyebrow. Arturia frowned deeply. �How much does it take and does it go back?�

�It goes back when the weapon disappears. He is simply doing an equivalent trade as it were by using part of his life energy to produce weapons. His� reality marble� takes a lot more than just the tiny bit it takes for the individual weapons, but he doesn�t control that very well,� said Merlin as he scratched his chin in thought.

Arturia nodded. �How dangerous is it for him to continue?�

�I don�t think it�ll be too dangerous, so long as he knows his own limits. After all, the body starts stopping long before the will does, so his body would start shutting itself down and force him to stop before he killed himself doing imaging.� Merlin leaned back in his chair and looked to Emiya. �Do remember that, Emiya. We don�t want you to die because of stupidity, all right?�

Emiya rolled his eyes and sneered at Merlin. Arturia seemed to miss it, though Merlin glared at Emiya. Arturia leaned back in her chair as Emiya moved forward and rubbed her legs. �My queen should relax a little. Please rest a little,� he said softly.

Merlin watched Emiya and frowned deeply. The man he had become was very strange and acted far too smugly toward other men for his position. Arturia didn�t seem to care, either. She simply let him, because, it seemed, she was the only one who actually gave him orders. It was as though she was keeping a very particular dog or wolf as a pet and only saw her as the alpha that he should pay attention to.

Arturia put her foot on Emiya�s shoulder and shoved him back with her boot. �Not now, Emiya,� she said before standing up and walking past Emiya. Emiya looked at her over his shoulder as she stopped. �Be more careful with your gift, Emiya. I do not wish to lose you to an early grave,� she said softly.

Emiya blinked at her in surprise. She, however, simply continued walking. Merlin smiled faintly at his pupil as she walked up the stairs. �Arturia doesn�t show it, but she does care about people. Not many, but she does care about the few she holds dear to her. I think she cares for you as well, Emiya.�

Emiya looked to Merlin and, for the first time since he was younger, smiled at him. His face broke into the most boyish smile he had seen since the boy was a boy. Merlin chuckled. �You still have a rather babyish face for a man, Emiya.� Emiya immediately stopped smiling and looked away. �Don�t take it as a negative comment. Not many can keep such a youthful look to them when they grow older. You, Emiya Shirou, have a very handsome face, albeit, a very odd one.�

Emiya looked at Merlin carefully and stood. �I have always been told my face is handsome but odd, master Merlin.�

�I�m sure,� said Merlin, watching Emiya carefully once more, �I�m also sure you have spent a good part of your life hating your face as well.�

Emiya was now gazing at Merlin with an assessing gaze. Merlin smiled faintly. �I�ve heard tales of children who are born of mixed parentage from history and know that it still continues to this day in Japan. That is where you are from, correct?�

Emiya turned and walked away without a word. Merlin stood suddenly and hit his staff on the ground. �Don�t walk away, Emiya. Remember, you are a servant here, therefore you must have permission to leave.� When Emiya stopped, Merlin relaxed slightly and smiled faintly at Emiya once more. �Emiya, please know that whatever troubles were in your past that you have people around here who care for you.�

Emiya looked over his shoulder slightly toward Merlin and Merlin backed away slightly at the chilly glare he found there, the young man�s eyes turning gray as he glared at him. �You have no idea what is in my past, master Merlin. Do not act as though you can absolve all my sins with a kind smile and a good gesture.� Then, he walked off once more.

Merlin sighed and sat down. Ever since he had come back, Emiya had become almost a shell of himself; self-loathing and cold settling on his shoulders like a new fallen snow drift. He hoped that serving Arturia would help this problem of his in time, for the man only obeyed her and her alone.

�The queen is getting too haughty. She forgets that the people can still bring her down should she fuck up the rights of the people. The people willed it that her own father die and so he did and we can make her life miserable as well,� said one voice, a man�s.

�I don�t know, she seems as though she is doing the best she can,� said a woman�s voice. �Oh, please do stop whimpering, Kevin��

�Mummy, I�m hungry,� said a young boy�s voice.

Emiya felt sick suddenly. If he were to tell Arturia about what they said, he might betray them to a death that was worse than anything they could ever receive at the hands of the headsman. It was a family talking to each other!

�Honey, please stop. Right now, I can�t make you anything, we�re not at home yet,� said the woman. Then, she continued, �We can�t speak of things like these around the castle.�

�No, we can�t because there�s a spy that gathers information for her,� said the man with disgust. �I�ll tell you, love, my boys are coming up with a plan to over throw her. Soon, it�ll be the people in charge, not her. We�re planning our own attack on her.�

�Honey! Don�t you dare! I�ll not have a husband who would join such things!� cried the woman as the sound of her slapping him resounded through the area.

�Fine. Be a drone. I�m going on. I can�t take this woman who thinks she can rule over us like a king should. She�s not even chosen a husband yet!� growled the husband.

Emiya moved away and started back for the kitchen entrance. There was going to be an attack on his queen. The wife did not want a part of it and the child would surly be safe, for children were innocent after all. Right?

He wasn�t innocent. He had murdered. He had lied. He had betrayed. He had spied several times. He was supposed to be his queen�s assassin, trained as such to perfection so he would do what she wanted. He had once thought that if he did all she asked of him, that she was the only thing that mattered. What of it now?

He jogged up the stairwell to the upper floor and ran to his queen�s room. When he walked in, he searched around for her and found her in her study, looking over documents. Emiya approached and knelt down. �My queen. I bring you information.�

Arturia looked up and frowned. �What news do you bring me, Emiya?�

Emiya told her of the conversation and became a little nervous when she remained cold, though he had become a little accustomed to her lack of emotion. She leaned back in her chair and steepled her fingers in thought.

�Emiya� I have a task for you. I can not perform it for I can�t be seen doing it. However, you can, for you are trained in such things.�

Emiya felt a cold chill run through him. This was it, the very thing he was trained for. Murder.

�I� can not, my queen. I�ve� done too much already,� he said softly and looked down.

�You bound yourself to me as my servant to do such tasks for me, Emiya, back when I found you. You have stayed by my side these several years past and now you refuse me?�

Emiya was afraid to look up. He knew that if he did, he would see Arturia�s cold eyes trained on him. �I must.�

�What has caused your sudden change in attitude, Emiya?�

Emiya looked up finally and saw Arturia leaning back in her chair still, watching him with those gold eyes of hers. He looked away. �The witch made a point to me when I attacked her. I have done many things that would anger God. I have murdered. I have stolen. I have lied. I have spied. I have done many many things that are wrong.�

�And you are disgusted with yourself?�

Emiya nodded as he looked down. Arturia stood and walked over to Emiya. �Emiya� you are� an unusual man. You have grown up with a far more different life than most people will ever experience.� She touched his white hair and ruffled it slightly before gripping it tightly and forcing him to look up at her. He gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut as she pulled his head back to her. �I brought you up and I will take you down, Emiya. Don�t make me regret taking you in. I don�t take betrayal lightly.�

Emiya felt a strange feeling as he felt the breath from her mouth so near his cheek and ear. Despite the pain he felt in his head from her fist in his hair, he felt warmth from her breath fanning over him. He opened his eyes and looked over to her, his hazel eyes warm and rich to her harsh gold. His heart pounded in his chest as he gazed at her. This was why he served her. The feeling of her so close, that she alone was the person who made his heart race; she was the only one he would serve until he died.

He gazed at her through his lashes and turned slightly, licking his lips unconsciously and swallowing, his Adam�s apple bobbing faintly under the stretched skin of his neck. Arturia watched it and felt a strange hunger burn within her as she watched. Something about the way he gritted his teeth but his eyes betrayed a fire within them that made her middle melt. She moved closer toward him and watched his tongue move across his lips. He really was a handsome man, though very foolish in defying her. He continued to watch her as she moved closer to him, panting softly against his now heated skin.

Emiya�s mind was blank. He felt as though everything hinged on him staying silent. If he should speak, he would break the moment entirely and not see anything of it ever again. His heart pounded hard in his ribcage, threatening to break out of it. As she watched him lick his lips again, he felt a strange surge of pride that she continued to watch his mouth so closely. It made him remember just why he served this woman, for she filled his thoughts daily.

Arturia�s mouth brushed against Emiya�s. He felt her tongue move out against his and felt her kiss him even harder as she pulled his hair harder to move his head back even more. An animalistic growl escaped her as she fair devoured him, her mouth pushing hard against his. His mind reeled as she pushed harder and harder against his mouth, as though she couldn�t get far enough into his mouth to be satisfied.

A knock at the door shocked them both. She moved back sharply and put a quivering hand to her mouth as she stared intently at Emiya. Emiya�s hair was messy from her fist in it and his face was flushed, though he had not moved an inch from where he had been when he knelt down in front of her before. �A� apologies, Emiya. I� lost myself. It won�t happen again.�

Emiya watched her through his lashes as someone knocked on the main chamber door once more. Arturia pushed herself to her feet and walked out of the study, leaving Emiya. He still had not received all her orders.

When she came back, he had corrected his hair and looked down at his knees. She blushed faintly and walked over to her chair, sitting behind the desk. �Emiya� I apologize for my crude behavior. I do not wish you to misunderstand, for I do not love you and should not have kissed you.�

The emptiness inside Emiya made him feel cold once more. �Yes, my queen,� he said softly. �It is fine, my queen, for I will serve my queen regardless of how she uses me.�

�So you agree to my terms once more? To be my eyes and ears and even my hand?� she asked.

�Yes, queen Arturia,� he said.

�Good.� She watched Emiya for a moment and nodded when he continued to look down. �Search out this man and the others he conspires with. Then.. kill him and his compatriots. I will not stand for traitors in my kingdom. If he conspires outside of Camelot, follow him until you find all the men he conspires with and kill them as well. If their wives and daughters and sons get in the way, kill them as well, but only should they be perceived as a problem as well.�

Emiya nodded and stood. �Is that all my queen?�

Arturia watched him for a moment more, noting the curve of his well built chest underneath the black leather she had tailored for him. Once more, her body hungered to touch it. Why did it react so? It was the same as when she gazed upon Cuchulainn. When she gazed upon him, all she could think of was seeing him undressed. Now, Emiya was being shoved into the same fantasy and she hardly knew why. He was a servant and one she raised up herself like a pet. �You are dismissed then, Emiya.�

Emiya nodded and looked at her finally, smiling faintly and then turned on his heel and walked out. Once more, his hazel eyes seemed to burn as he gazed at her and once more, her middle seemed to melt. He disappeared out her door and she was left leaning over her desk and putting her hot face against the cool table she sat at. What was happening to her? Had she been deprived so that she was becoming desperate for the attentions of a man that she would assault her own servant for it?